Depending of the way it's written, it could change the lawsuit. If the principal wrote "Suspended for having white hair" > discrimination. If it was "suspended for dying hair" > false accusation.
When I was 12, I was diagnosed with tumor cancer, after 7 months of treatment, and losing all my hair, I came back to school, only to be told that my hair style was inappropriate. I simply asked " what hair? I just beat cancer. Are you telling me that you don't know why ive been gone for the last 7 months?" The teacher immediately apologized and never brought it up again. So yeah, I checked, and this was literally the only staff member who didn't know I was being hospitalized, fighting cancer that year.
I think if I was a parent and this happened to my kid I would've blown up. Like yes some high schoolers shave their heads but most little kids don't. If they're bald it's for a reason
My father had to shave off my hair after a bad case of head lice that one summer. I leave 7th grade with hair only for 8th grade sporting a buzz like cut. I had lots of people like to rub my hair because it was fuzzy. Took almost one school year for it to go back to a decent length. Then I join NJROTC in high school so I was at the point where I need to keep it short above my collar line or risk points getting dock. It also took forever for it to go past shoulder length for me to put it up in a bun. Now I have decent hair that I normally donate for Wigs for Kids roughly every two years.
That's... profoundly stupid. Like, even putting the cancer aside, let's say you did just decide to shave your head one day. "That's an inappropriate hair style." So what? What does she expect? You to go home and concentrate real hard until your hair grows back? Staying home for half the school year until your hair is an acceptable length again? So ridiculous.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Teachers are all either amazing or absolutely terrible. I had a crappy teacher when my great grandpa died. He was telling us about some of the deadlines for parts of our final. When he got to one, I raised my hand and told him I wouldn’t be able to be there for that one because I was gonna be in Iowa. He said “well that’s inconvenient.” I responded with “yeah it was really inconvenient that my grandpa died, thanks.” He mumbled some “oh sorry” and moved on. We also found out he was grading different people different scores for the same work. We had crossword puzzles to do and I turned mine in and so did a friend of mine. I got an F on it and they got a 100%. I asked him about it when we got them back and saw our answers were the same. He said that we shouldn’t be looking at each other’s papers. Didn’t fix it or anything. So we found out where he lived and TPd his house. Smeared French onion dip on the sidewalk too. Some other boy who was 18 showed the school board Kik messages with who was supposedly this teacher saying they were inappropriately messaging each other. There was a picture too.
I feel bad for the woman in the 3rd story tbh, she's a victim of abuse & has clearly trauma bonded with him. She was so close to getting out, but he managed to drag her back into his BS. I hope that one day she finds the courage to leave him.
That is the most likely scenario but there are those rare instances where the guy goes to therapy, and has a life changing revelation. Guys like that don't just get up in the morning and think to themselves "I think today is a good day to start an argument and terrorize my girlfriend," it comes from deeper than that. They don't consciously realize what they're doing is wrong or harmful, and if they can be made to realize that, sudden abrupt changes can and do happen. But yeah....rare.
@@adamb89 even so, she has no obligation to continue to be abused until that happens. This is exactly the logic that keeps people in these situations, constantly thinking that they'll charge when they just plainly aren't changing at all.
@@adamb89 also it seems like he is going for her, to get her back, Instead of for himself, like it probably should be. It's most likely just more manipulation, but we don't really know their situation fully.
exactly, instead of going to the board with the photo album, they should have gone with a photo album and a lawyer and said they would sue for discrimination
Remember: they don’t have to hurt you physically to be abusive. Throwing objects is meant to intimidate you. Telling you to leave is asserting their control over you. I feel bad for OP.
In the Natural hair is natural story, if the school did suspended her, they would have been suspending her for a medical condition, they already pretty much harassed her for it, which would have been a major lawsuit.
Honestly it’s probably a rare condition. I have never heard of it before now… granted I never knew I had visual snow before Reddit (an eye condition where I see tv static everywhere and floaters in the sky) granted in my case I thought the weird shit was normal stuff people saw. This one is more discriminatory towards one’s own genetics. Honestly to me I don’t really see the need to control hair like this. Mine didn’t care if you dyed it two colors or just had a streak, it knew the dress code and actually showing up were more important
Right my old school tried to suspend people for the most ridiculous things. Including telling my mom i was being suspended for eating a habenero for lunch.
BF: "You should move out, I'm tired of this! You're the worst blah blah blah..." OP: **Actually moves out** Also BF: **Surprised Pikachu Face** "You weren't supposed to do that."
Me- Good, glad she left that toxic relationship and now she can live a better life AWAY from him. OP- ...And yes, we're still together. Me- *surprised Pikachu face*
@@_.-._.-. He agreed to therapy, people deserve a second chance to better themselves. Let's hope it works, most abusers wouldn't even consider doing such but he is actually willing to drop his pride and give it a try, that alone is the first step towards becoming a better person. (Not trying to say it will 100% work or that he will actually change but let's hope he learns at least something from the sessions)
OP did their part and that professor downplayed their attempts to reach anybody and made THEM the bad guy. I’m glad that professor got fired, but OP should have gotten 100.
I can't believe OP didn't forward the emails and the grade. Honestly at my school when you contest a grade, it goes through a process first where your grades are compared to the rubric by a handful of what is essentially a group of TAs and passed up to the board to be checked. This could fuck you if you did worse than you were graded for, but essentially the teacher wouldn't be allowed to just pick whatever grade he wanted or be allowed to grade at that point at all. Especially since OP showed adequate attempts to contact all group members and the prof and show the prof the evidence.
@@chevgage6210 they said in the story they were already exhausted from everything so they probably just didn't have the energy left to contest it. I get it, I probably would've just taken the 70 too. Seems like such a stressful situation.
My neighbour just has abusive bf after abusive bf, it's really depressing to see. Her kids no longer stay with her because they're old enough to know she'll bring home people that scare them.
Yes, I was like this as a teenager, and was abu$Ed daily, but when I got therapy, I broke that cycle, and I'm now married and have three kids, and finally feel loved.. The best part about having an own family? The quiet and stress free home and nobody screaming at each other daily! I'm so happy now! ❤️
They don't like the pattern, but It's the only one they know, so they continue to repeat it. Speaking from experience - I used to wonder why I kept picking wrong 'uns until this occurred to me. So I just stopped picking. And never tried again in case I just carried on from where I'd left off.
“I can own candles!” Honestly, that alone would have been enough for me to sympathise with her. To be so excited to be able to own such an insignificant thing because that’s how horrible her boyfriend was is kinda heartbreaking. Kinda like when people from poor countries are happy just to have shoes, or something warm to eat, or clean water etc.
Right? I had to move back in with my dad because finances, and I couldn't have candles lit there, but he's on oxygen! There's a reason for it at his house! He bought me a candle warmer to make up for it. OP needs to get out of that relationship, not just out of that house
@@jacquelynsmith2351 While I agree that yeah, leaving the relationship would be the most rational thing to do, agreeing on giving him a last chance if he actually goes through with getting therapy might not be a wrong call, either. Often times abusers become abusive for reasons outside of their control, for example being raised by abusive parents. This can normalise abuse in your eyes because you might have never learned that it is wrong. What is most important though, is that she needs to be very strict about his therapy. If he chickens out of therapy, that should be the end of his final chance, no matter what, same for if the therapy is unsuccessful. There should not be any "at least he tried" excuses. Either he improves or it should be the end.
@@jacquelynsmith2351 I guess your projecting could be justified in this case. I do not know statistics to back that up but I can imagine very well that a lot of people promising to get therapy do not intend to go there for self improvement. With OP having gone to therapy herself and having made positive experience with it, she might see it possibly working for him as well. Both are very valid ways to approach the given situation. I personally would leave that kind of relationship asap and not turn back, but I can understand where she is coming from.
normally i would agree however, it might just be me though, i get really happy when i dig holes, i'v been banned from digging said holes, my buddy called me over to help dig a 2 foot deep 5 inch wide trench for his power line, i was giddy the entire time. morral of the story, some people get happy over some dumb crap.
Really any position of authority that's some degree of unavoidable to engage with. So police, doctors (especially specialists where you have even less choice), teachers, judges, etc.
Honestly I hate ppl that have IMPORTANT postions in society and let it go to their head or dont do their job right or wrong on purpose Like a doctor or teacher 1st one can litterly hold their life in their hands and if they dont do their job right u could be fucked 2nd one might not be life or death but just as important in a different way Everyone is a kid and having good teacher is quite nice
Lmao the poliosis case is such an easy discrimination suit it's not even fuuuuunny. Forcing her to dye her natural color or make changes to fit into an uninforcible code due to what is essentially a "medical condition" and then FURTHER harrassing that student after they got caught in their mistake? Oooooohohoho no. I can't believe her parents didn't go scorched earth.
I know! Even after it was proved to her that it was the girl's natural hair the principal still gave her a warning about her 'extreme' hair. The parents should have torn right through that woman.
no kidding. Especially since the dad had the same thing... why didn't he stick up more for her. also, the cousin might want to get some of her other physicality checked. if the condition rode on a Male gene and is showing up on a Female offspring, there might be some other things she needs to watch out for. like higher levels of testosterone that could cause some medical conditions that were far more serious than a skunk streak.
It made me very angry that the school had no justice, and the girl only was harmed by the situation. There wasn’t a happy ending, the school would do that again to someone else without a second thought. It’s very awful
There was a story in Japan where a girl who's natural hair color was brown instead of the natural black most Japanese people have and the school harassed her over it. She ended up suing their equivalent to a school board back in 2017 and the courts finally ruled partially in her favor this past February.
Sometimes it's not that easy, when all you have known is abuse and you grow up from a very early age being told you're worthless and this kind of "love" is all you deserve, it takes a long time to get yourself to believe it's not true. My mother is a narcissistic sociopath, my dad is her enabler and my siblings are narcissists. I was put into foster care as a child and jumped from abusive relationships to abusive foster homes to abusive friendships my whole life. It wasnt until about 10 years ago when I finally realised I didnt deserve the 6 years of being abused, r@p3d and beaten everyday that I broke free. I had to take 8 years to build myself back up again and then I met my now fiance of 2 years. I still struggle everyday but it gets easier. I still have anxiety, ptsd, self doubt. I am absolutely paranoid about my partner cheating on me, leaving one day, realising I'm a fraud (even though I know I'm not) I can't go out on my own, I have panic attacks every time he throws a pair of socks in my direction (for example, if I am doing the washing and I ask him to chuck me the socks to put in the washer) my fiance is the most amazing, patient and kind human being in the world and he has helped me so much but I still have issues. For context, I am 31 in march. I have been with my partner since I was 29, I was single for 8 years and I spent every waking moment from birth to 21 years old being abused verbally, physically, emotionally, socially, mentally and sexually. Does that make me an idiot for not stopping the cycle sooner? No. No it does not. Every one told me after I left my ex "oh everyone has been in abusive relationships and they get away from them earlier and easily, what's your excuse" no, not everyone has been in abusive relationships. There are relationships that are just red flags and boundary pushing and then theres abusive. The genuinely abusive ones are harder to break free from. It takes time and occasionally money and support but eventually we do break free. It's not as easy as "just leaving"
@@maddydavidsdottir9862 I’m so sorry you had all that shit. Building yourself up and fighting for what you deserve is hard. Leaving a lifetime of abuse is really hard, especially when you’ve never known anything else. You’ve got an awesome survival story and an amazing, loving partner. I’m happy for you and the life you’ve made for yourself.
Had a professor explain how he would be late everyday due to working at another college before our class. A student explained that they attended class at the same college and would also be late occasionally. The professor just flat out refused to allow it. We literally had to be punctual to his lateness.
I had a professor be fifteen minutes late almost every class for the entire course. First time he claimed that he got a flat tyre. Second time he blamed traffic. Third time his kids. After that he just said that he’d be late. He justified it by saying that we could make up for lost time by skipping the scheduled 15min break in the middle of our 2h session. Same professor also said first day of class that this class was uninteresting and he’d much rather teach something else, so it was pretty obvious to everyone that he didn’t give an f about us or the class.
@@tovekauppi1616 I would have filed a complaint with the administrators that he was cheating you out if what you were paying for. OTOH, I tested out of a three year engineering course while in the US Army, so I never took even one class. It pissed them off, because no one had ever done it for that course. (26T20)
Another professor failed the entire class on an essay project and then offered to let us do it again. We rewrote the papers and he turned them back to us with corrections and no grade. He said "I never told you I would regarde them, just that you could rewrite them."
@@michaelterrell I was one of the most annoying students when I was in school. I didn't let teachers get away with shit and I made a formal complaint about one who would teach things unrelated to what we were being tested on. Things completely unrelated to the subject matter. I told the dean, "I'm not smart enough to teach myself physics" Also I say teachers because it was community college. very few people there I would have considered a professor.
@@ThisChangeIsAwful My High School Physics teacher told our class that iif they had any questions about Electricity or Electronics to ask me instead of him. I was bored to death in most classes, but I was a Teacher's Assistant for our Electronics classes, and I nearly got my Junior English teacher fired. She gave the vague assignment of, "Prepare and give a five minute talk on a subject that you know well." Mine was on "The Theory and Application of Single Sideband Communications." That included drawings of waveforms on the green board. She started yelling that there was no such thing. That I had made it all up, and that I was going to get a zero for the entire semester. During her rant, the Dean of Boys had sent a runner to get me for an emergency for the school. She refused to let me leave, as a student told her, "I've been trying to learn this for a couple years. I'm an Amateur Radio operator, and I know understand it." She started yelling at him, as well. A few few minutes later the Dean walked in and yelled at her to stop disrupting the entire floor . She lowered her volume but she continued to call me a liar. He sighed and told her, "If he tells you anything about Electronics, you damned well better listen. He is our resident expert. Not only that, but when I send for hm you will let him leave because it is something important to the entire school. Then he asked, "What was the assignment?" The entire class quoted her, word for word. He just grinned and asked, "Miss Friend, who hired you?" She gave a smug smiled, "The school board!" He grinned, "Yes, but who renews your contract for next year?" She went pale. He told her that I better get t100 for that assignment, and that he would be monitoring my grades for her class for the rest of the year. BTW, 'The Professor' on Gilligan's Island was actually a high school science teacher After the series, Bob Denver, (Gilligan) taught high school science classes. 😁
First story: Not watch emails in the pandemic is not want to work. No matter what he say he can't put the blame in OP. And OP's teammates are worse for basically abanding him.
Given how lazy he is, I wouldn't be surprised if he accidentally assigned OP to a group with students from last semester or something. I remember I once dropped a college class during the first week, well before groups were assigned for the group project, only to find out three months later that I'd apparently been put in a group anyway (a group member cc'd me on a group-wide email), leaving them shorthanded. Ironically, the main reason I dropped the class was because a large part of our grade was the group project and the graduate student teaching the class didn't seem to know how to manage such projects properly---I guess I was right.
the hair story reminds me of someone i knew. she was a natural redhead and in case you dont know they dont go grey, with age it turns white and usually much later in life. Sadly this girl started turning white very young (like late teens, i think it was due to something she had but i didnt push the question) but at first was dyeing it, she stopped doing it and decided to go full light blond instead and got scolded by her grandmother with whom she now lived during university who told her "never dye your pretty natural hair, the colour is too beautiful and rare, gingers should never dye their hair" so well... she stopped and it started growing .. oh boy the grandma was not pleased XD
The 3rd story confirmed my suspicions of the boyfriend: He's a narcissist! Good for her for using his words against him and ACTUALLY moving out, because HOLY CRAP!
I was going to say that. Sadly, she's still together with the narcissistic jerk. She has Stockholm Syndrome. Leave this situation OP. It's not worth your sanity and it's not worth your health.
Story 4; I have really dark hair with a huge bright blind streak through it. Almost platinum blond. We also had a strict no dying hair rule. The head of the primary school (it was a small combined primary and secondary school) didn't like my hair and talked to my mum once after school in front of the other parents. My mum told her that on my dads side all the women and some of the men have very similar blond streaks and there was no way she or any responsible parent would let a seven year old bleach their hair blond. It's also funny because that teacher's roots were ashy grey but she dyed her hair brown. So much for setting an example lol
Hair is weird. My hair has naturally gone through 3 different colors.. I was born with black hair. My hair turned blonde by the time I was in elementary school. By the time I was in middle school I had copperish brown hair. And now post graduation I had dark brown hair.
Dress codes always blamed girls for “distracting” boys. The reality is none of the students care or get distracted by each other’s hair or clothing. It’s teachers who have a problem with how teen girls dress and look. And if they’re so disturbed and distracted by a teen girls shoulders then they have bigger problems than how the kids are dressed.
I think a larger part of it is to instill conformance at a younger age. By making the kids follow all your rules you instill that they should keep it going into adult life. At least I think that is more the idea. It's not a thing in Norway but I hear it's a thing in other countries.
Actually, boys do get distracted, that is a reality and a fact of life. If dress codes are there, they are there for a reason and should be adhered to. Girls / Women dress in ways to get attention, that is a fact and has always been that way. Edit: That said, this story is hilarious and the teaching staff is clueless.
Story 3: the place wasn't unsafe; the relationship *is.* For OP to gloss over this and just stay in a relationship with an abusive douchebag bothers me very much... it's just a matter of time before we see a comment from OP in the AITA subreddit with the title: "AITA for getting sad/angry when my boyfriend physically beat me?" Leave him OP. He doesn't love you, he doesn't care about you. All he cares about is "being right"; and when he's wrong you're the closest outlet for his aggression.
went from an abusive family to an abusive boyfriend and she's still with the boyfriend. OP really needs someone on her side to support her and help her get away from him and build herself up
I'm surprised her therapist didn't suggest breaking up with him. Then again, maybe they did, but OP ignored it because "I can change him!" No, you can't.
Rslash, OP said it themselves: it's hard to just leave a 7 year relationship. They will be making small steps to finally leave that trash bag once they see how much better their life is without him around. Even if he goes to therapy, it'll become clear he has no intent to change and it may become easier for OP to leave him. Edit: almost forgot, OP mentioned they had abusive parents growing up. They're just so used to abuse that it becomes really difficult to leave such an environment when you're so used to it. Be mindful towards situations like these.
You don't know if he has no intend to change. Maybe he does maybe not, that is a thing between these two. If he doesn't change she should leave immediately, if he changes its her thing if she want to stay even tho they had a very bad time.
If my math is right she was 16 and he was 20 when they got together. 23 then the story happened but at that point the relationship was 7 years in with how she worded it. I don't think he's gonna change much, after hearing the story he probably manipulated the crap out of her when she was younger and nieve
@@aduckofsomesort unlike anyone else here i did more than the bare minimum 1st grade math, i actually looked up her reddit for more context and she said she was 19 when they got together. Also it's kinda logical since no person could do both in the same year, leaving abusive parents and have that don't it themselves without breaking down. She left at 23 from her parents and left him 3 years later
That's a Karen alert right there. She has that "You have a medical condition, but you are still distracting anyway." Imagine telling an autistic kid that.
@@benjiro8793 leaving school doesnt necessarily mean they are cutting her socail contacts. She can still stay in contact with her existing friends, plus there are extracurricular activities she could sign up for, and there are meets specifically for homeschool kids to be able to make friends
@@benjiro8793 why do you think that homeschooled children have no social contact? They are homeschool networks. Children actually take classes with groups of other children being taught by one parent. Sometimes they actually hire credentialed teachers to teach specific classes such as advanced math. They usually sign them up for multiple clubs and sports as well. The difference is the child's in a positive environment with respectful peers and adults. Not in a hellhole prison where they are forced to be with abusive people all day.
Isn't it interesting how it's only ever school staff and/or entitled parents that thinks these "extreme" outfits or hair dyes is in any way distracting?
Funny thing is i never heard stuff like that about schools in germany. i remember once a girl on my school cut of all her very long and pretty hair to give it to her cousin with cancer and nobody cared as far as i know. We wore shirts from Bands like Cannibal Corpse to school and nobody cared (aside from the typical "thats just a phase" from one of the older teachers)
@@mrn234 Same here in Denmark, unless it's something over the top like wearing nothing but a mankini, then you can basically wear whatever you want and no one bats an eye about it
@@mrn234 Same in France. The exception I know are technical schools but it make sense, as you're supposed to be clothed for work. Of course a Cannibal Corpse t-shirt won't get you fired but a comment about it being innapropriate. Big nos would be wearing sandals, oversized clothing or shorts, as it get you exposed to dangers when operating machines or using tools. But if it's a day without bench work you usually get a pass, too.
To be fair, not dying hair is a good rule to have for a different reason. Dying hair is very destructive to them in the long run and school should teach more than just the raw data. Obviously, the staff needs to actually know this to explain it to students... There are also other reasons for dress code in schools than "it's distracting", but those schools typically have actual uniforms, rather than depending on students picking their clothes from their own wardrobe following some list of do's and don't's. So yeah, this story is clearly showing the staff having little in the way of 'brain', but let's not instantly diss the concept behind it which was simply misused, rather than inherently bad.
The other day actually, my sister came home and apparently her teacher had dress coded some student in class. Some people complained out loud to him and he asked “everyone here who has been turned on by revealed shoulders please raise your hand” No one raised their hand. Except the teacher. Eugh.
And unrealistic dress code for hair? Sounds like one of them schools that doesn't keep very many students in it for very long. Who'd want to be taught there?
The first story just reminds me of that one story from when we were kids. “The Little Red Hen.” They want someone else to do all the work and get themselves a piece of the pie.
The hair color thing - not only is it a lawsuit in the making, but what's stopping the dad from going to the news too? That could be so much more damaging in terms of public opinion
Confirmation bias. Most of the rules in every place I've been are non-gender-specific. And there are plenty of male-only rules: no piercings - period. No sagging pants (which is usually seen on guys, not girls). Hair must be cut to a specific length or less, and neatly combed. Any rules about facial hair.
@@dianemartel5205 I was also talking about schools. The facial hair thing is from high school. I moved a lot as a kid, so I saw several different dress codes. All of them had something for everybody. As for the other, I feel I need to point out the difference between "gender bias" and "confirmation bias". Gender bias is believing one gender is inherently better or worse than the other. Confirmation bias is having an opinion/hypothesis, then systematically accepting information which conforms to it while dismissing information which doesn't. Both are usually done on a subconscious level, so they can be hard to spot in oneself. In this case, I believe you notice the school dress codes for girls, and forget about the ones which are unisex or for guys. Disclaimer: I'm speaking from experience of US schools, and US military installation schools overseas. I completely believe there are countries with dress codes only for girls, and guys can wear whatever.
So should we discuss that grown ups seems to get way to distracted by young girls shoulders and hair? Seems like there is to many creeps in staff 🙈🤔 I’m from Sweden and even if it’s some years since school we could wear tank tops and shorts. Maybe more modest ones than are in store nowadays but no one batted an eye cause everyone was like topless at the beach 😂
In the first story, I was waiting for something stupid like the professor had accidentally not made the break-out rooms or communication paths right, so the other group members were working on their own and assuming the OP was the slacker. But I guess that kind of situation would've been sorted out much faster.
I remember one news story I read about this Japanese girl who had naturally brown hair, and her school had a policy of “all student must have black hair”- which just meant “no dyeing your hair” since the majority of Japanese people have naturally black hair. I think there was this whole lawsuit over it and eventually she did get a pass to… have the hair color she was born with but teachers still treated her like shit bc of it
2:38 This made me remember school. Remember folks, any educational institution is not your friend and does not care about what your work is or if it was any good. It just depends on what's on their paper and if the teacher(or in this case professor) is happy with it. I'm so glad that OP got the 0 and the professor removed through the board, because screw this bs.
The hair thing reminds my of my friend’s kid’s school in Japan. Schools here are very strict with uniforms, natural hair styles, no makeup, etc. My friend is black and her husband is Japanese, her daughter took after her and got very curly hair. The school’s rule for natural hair styles also includes no curling your hair, Japanese people mostly have straight hair as their natural hair. Basically when they made the rules they only considered Japanese students attending not any mixed or non-Japanese students going to the school. For her daughter to attend they had to get a formal doctor’s note saying curly hair was the child’s natural hair. The craziest part this is a elementary school. There’s a lot of outdated crazy rules like this still enforced now a days.
I'm pretty certain that the school getting upset about shoulders and "unnatural hair colors" is less because they think it will be distracting and more because they want to have control over the students and the way they look
In highschool I looked in the rules and it said you can dye your hair natural colors and being a teen I went for white. The dean (guy in his late 60's) did not approve of it and said it was distracting until that I said his hair was more white then mine and I never heard a word about my hair after that.
I would’ve ripped that principle and teacher a new one if they harassed my kid over their natural hair. I would have been that ‘Karen’. That is absolutely terrible.
I wish I could do malicious revenge because I found out almost everyone in my bf and I's mutual friend group hates me and hid it from me and my boyfriend for who knows how long
@@amazinglynn one is because I told my bf beforehand about an intervention that I created for him and the one is still mad even though it's been over and done with the other friend claims I control what my bf says and does but if that were true my bf would have broke up with me because he doesn't like toxic relationships
Story 3: Boyfriend is mad that OP is getting the help she needs and is becoming more and more assertive, and is no longer the easily controllable wreak he found her as. (Sorry, must be a double post...)
I had problem with "unnatural" hair color to. I had really long hair (lower than my knee) and it was clearly visible how level of melanin in them change over the years. My ends were lite brown, almost ginger shade, when my roots were... well black, but my bangs had blonde almost white stripes that increase volume after exposure to summer sun. I never dyed my hair, but was reprimanded for how it looked. I was often scolded how could I destroy my lovely natural color (usually by Karens). My mum was ask just once by school to do something about it. She started at the teacher blankly and then ask how to change level of melanin in your body and how to make something not be bleached by the sun. When they tried to tell her to cut my hair, she said I am to old to be told how to take care of my hair (12 y/o). And then she said goodbye and that she has to go back to resolving real life problems. There were no more compliance.
I remember reading these stories, especially the hair one. As a parent I would have been as vile and disgusting as possible, and loud doing it so it is heard through the walls just what I think of someone that disgusting. You pull that with a kid who is complying, then insulting them, call them a liar, and trying to embarrass them around the staff and students verbal destruction would ensue.
Gotta wonder what the student thought was going to happen by waiting until the last day to tell his teacher that something had gone wrong with his group. Even the most affable, communicative professor is going to be "uh, okay, what the hell do you want to do about it NOW?" Student-teacher relationships don't work unless both parties give effort into them. Honestly the first story sounds like mutual failure.
Gaslighting boyfriend story: nowhere near as extreme but at around the same age as OP, I had a pretty toxic boyfriend who I was with for just over a year. In that time, we must have "split up" about 4 times, which basically consisted of him telling me that he didn't want to be with me anymore, me crying myself to sleep, and then him acting as if nothing had happened the next day. The very final time this happened, when he told me he didn't want to be with me I'd had more than enough. I just shrugged and said "OK!". Cue Shocked Pikachu face. The next day he reached out and I said "but we broke up! We're no longer together." He was furious, but I really dodged a bullet as he was a total loser.
That last story reminds me of when screaming abusive people would demand their case be processed, at the job I retired from. I would regularly be asked, "What! Is it going to take an act of Congress to get my case approved?!" to which I happily always replied, "YUP! This is the definition of a Federal case, so yes, it will take an act of Congress to get your case approved." Oh, how I wish I could share stories from that place.
I'm convinced that most school dress codes and appearance codes are designed to put kids in their place, not to fix any so-called distractions. In all probability, the educators and principal are far more concerned about how kids look than their peers are.
I have Albinism. I remember when I was in 9th grade a teacher tried to get me expelled from school because my hair was in his words not natural since it is platinum blond due to the lack of pigment. He sent me home with a note telling my mother to dye it a more natural color so I would fit in. Of course my mother refused, and when we did not comply he tried to get me expelled. Fortunately the other teachers supposed me, and they gave this teacher a lesson on what albinism is. He did not stay at the school very long.
When I was a kid, I had some really long hair, like a brunette Rapunzel basically. I had to flip my hair out of the way so I wouldn't sit on it because it ended just below my butt. So this was never an issue until I had this one math teacher. Every time I had math, she would walk around the room and always end up stopping behind me where she would just start playing with my hair. It was distracting. If I told her to stop, she would yell at me to not talk and to keep my eyes on my paper. I ended up wearing a sweater to math class over my hair or when it was too hot for that, as we were in living in Colorado at the time, I would just have my mom braid my hair. I had told her all about this teacher. The math teacher did NOT appreciate my new hairstyle choices, or the sweater trick. I don't know if it was related to what was going on with her but my gut feeling was that it had everything to do with her but soon a lady showed up in the hall with a barber shop table. The school was in the shape of a giant L, so in the lobby, as you walk in is where the vertical and horizontal parts of the school meet with the Auditorium right in front of the entrance, the office to the right of the entrance and everything horizontal after the office and connected nurse room was the little kid classes. Vertical part of the school was for the older kid classes. On the other side of the hall from the Auditorium was the gym which had doors leading outside to the fenced in recess area from the end of the horizontal to vertical, making a rectangle out of the L shaped school. After the Auditorium was the lunch room and across from that was another pair of doors to outside, the rest that way was classes. So the "Barber Shop" table was lodged in the hallway, between the Gymnastics and Auditorium, blocking access to my classes and kids that I knew previously had long hair, were now crying as they were allowed to go to class. The woman sees me and my long hair and waves me over, patting the chair for me to sit down. I went over there but not to sit down, I walked right into Gymnastics class, went outside, went back inside right behind the woman and went to class. My teacher was NOT happy about this and told me if I didn't have a haircut I would get detention. I told her I've already talked to my mom about her and if I am to be given detention over this, guess who's going to be hearing from the school board very soon. I didn't get detention, I kept my hair braided. On Graduation day from 5th grade, my math teacher told me she was going to throw a party to be finally rid of me. I told her that she'll be throwing a party for never getting to play with my luscious hair again. I don't believe for a second that our shoulders and hair are a distraction to other students. It's definitely a distraction to our teachers but they hide behind a lie so conceal the fact that they have an inappropriate obsession with their students.
That story about the hair is a condition also called luecisium, where melanin slowly fades over time, like with the hair on your head. Or it can Express in a condition called vitiligo, were the shin pigment is patchy, like a pinto or paint horses` markings.
My school was also very strict with hair colors, and before I went there I used to dye a strand of my hair pink every June for cancer awareness, as multiple people in my family had it. When the school told me I wasn't allowed to dye my hair, my mom and I bought a pink clip in and I wore it school, under the rest of hair, then would change its location as soon as I got on the bus.
I’ve been there, sleeping in the car because it was safer than sleeping with the boyfriend. I was still naive and someone had to tell me his behaviour was wrong: after I nonchalantly mentioned some things he does to my friend, the record screeched to a halt and she told me what’s up. I hope people told this person that it IS easy to leave a 7 year relationship when it’s not really a relationship.
3rd story: I understand that op might not realize she's in abusive relationship because of how she was raised. However, the fact that she felt unsafe living with him. Is reason enough to break up with him. Plus he used her fear (of being out on the street again) against her. So I hope the best for op and I hope she breaks up with him.
OP was being emotionally abused. I’m not sure how he can just think it’s that easy to get up and leave. Some times r/Slash makes very tone deaf comments. Like seriously “just apply this to yourself!” If it was that easy people wouldn’t be in abusive relationships.
That first story is so funny, if I were a teacher I would have given OP extra credit and everyone else zeroes. Not only did OP do the whole thing themselves, but they also did it with humor and creativity. Amazing
I got in trouble all the time for dying my hair. Once had the hall monitor storm into the classroom, mid lesson, and scream at me for having blue hair. Nearly got expelled till my mom came down and went into angry mother mode.
Fourth story: From elementary to high school I had to use uniform and the only haircut men were allowed to have were military cuts. We could have a little stylish alteration as long the lenght isn't more than allowed. I needed a special haircut because how fast and thic my hair grows to make the haircut last, but it makes me look like I almost shaved the sides of my head.
This deserves a like just for hearing Slash Ketchum read the first OP's name, lol Wait, OP 3 stayed with her boyfriend!? What in the Stockholm Syndrome...? School teachers and faculty are some of the biggest b*llies in school :/
That third story really resonates with me really hard. I just left my abusive mother's house. My mother is essentially the female version of that boyfriend because a lot of the stuff he did my mother did to me
the hair story is medical and targeted discrimination. so they might have been able to bring felon charges against them. the school got really lucky the family brought in those photos.
OP who moved out of the abusive bfs home: you can genuinely want the best with healing and growth for someone but not need to stick around to assist it or watch it happen. It sounds like abusive bf probably convinced you "I can change" and that may or may not be true, but you can still say the abuse you've already experienced is enough and you hope he changes, without you.
4th story, thats happened to me before too. My dad's side has a dominant gene which makes our hair colour change under sunlight or any light in general, and when I was 6-7 I went up to my teacher to ask a question she was under the sun with another group of teachers including the vice principle. Before I could even ask the question the vice principle started scolding me for having "unnatural" hair I couldn't even get a word in, but my teacher saved me by confirming that I actually did have this hair colour and it wad natural. After that the vice principle just shut up, so next time get confirmation first before you assume anything about someone.
A couple points about the girl with the therapy.... 1- she was living with her boyfriend AND HIS PARENTS. She never said it was him who made her sleep on the mat, it's very possible his parents refused to have them sleep in the same bed. 2- They're still together -because- the boyfriend went to therapy. That's a good thing. If therapy saved her, it can fix him too, if he's serious about it. If not, she can leave him whenever. The girl with the white streak should have brought the pictures there day one though... The reason schools do this is the same reason the army does: conformity brings obedience.
3rd story OP: *Gets out of the abusive relationship.* OP: *Still together with her abusive boyfriend.* rslash (and everyone else): *Shocked Pikachu face*
I love that 'get it in writing' idea. If I actually got it I'd stand up and say: "OK, here's what going to happen, from now on you are to back the hell off and leave my daughter alone. And before you say no, bear in mind that you just handed me a written confession of your deliberate discrimination of my daughter's medical condition."
Always divide up your group work so that you can prove to your prof. your team's incompetence. I had a student in a group that would not reply or submit to our group paper until the day of, and then 40% of the paper came out plagiarized. You could copy/paste the student's contributions and have it come up straight on Google. Didn't even need a checker. I've only ever had 1 or 2 group assignments throughout all of college of not my entire education in which other teammates were not useless.
I’m so confused about the school disapproving of that girl. One of my favorite teachers in high school had the same thing. They didn’t make her dye her random white streak because normal people realize its a real condition 🙄
13:28 "they're going to wonder why you're getting special treatment" Yeah, bud? and who's fault is that. Stop treating me differently and I'll stop being treated differently. That's all on you.
If OP was with her boyfriend for 7 years, and she's 23 while he's 27, That means they got together when he was 20 and she was 16. He was probably talking to her long before that too...I wouldn't be surprised if he groomed her making it that much harder to leave him
@@doodledumpster5281 she clarified in a reddit post that they got together at 19 (he was 23), she left from her parents with 23 he was 27 and now she's 26. No person could do 2 breakups from a household like that in 1 year, she would break down if she actually would've left her abusive parents and then the shit with him.
The distraction is from the teachers not other students. My daughter a platinum blonde, bought colored clip ins, with her natural hair color the clip ins were very noticible. 2 teachers decided that it was to distracting so she just uncliped them. The teachers were shamed by the boys for making her remove then
Not even ten seconds in and I've already busted out laughing. r/Slash saying "wreck me, Senpai" in such a monotone voice is the funniest thing he's ever done.
I went to a Catholic school that both my older brothers went to. They both had a reputation for being bad. My one brother wasn't even in school anymore but older teachers remembered him. When I entered the school, the teachers assumed I would be the same way (side note: It took me about a year and convincing a few teachers I wanted to grow up to be a nun to get them to like me). My oldest brother came into school one day with rainbow hair. They didn't send him home to dye his hair, they made him shave it all off. Skip forward 7ish years. I was blonde as a kid but my hair starting changing to brown around late elementary school. When I went into middle school, it looked like I had streaks and my teachers thought I was dying my hair an unnatural color. They tried to give me a detention and my parents had to write a note explaining that no, my hair was naturally streaked. This is the same school that, during a project to write a recipe of a traditional recipe that your family ate every Christmas, gave my brother detention for "making up a food that obviously doesn't exist". The recipe was for Gołąbki, a dish my family ate all the time. There is a reason my parents were so used to writing notes to explain why my school was wrong.
That one about the hair dye ended on such a stupid note. So they try to expel her for a medical condition that they don't understand, and then when they learn that's not something they can do they try to shame her for it instead.
OP With the bf needs to wake up and get out that relationship fully.. A Narcissistic, manipulator / gaslighting person will never change. Sure they'll go therapy to prove they have changed/will change.. But its all just part of their manipulation process to keep their victim
Oh boy ! The 3rd story is a classic case of a "Narcissistic Pervert" (the pervert part does not refer to anything sexual in nature but to the pleasure they take in tormenting). It's more common than one would think. Most of them refuse therapy as it would be "admitting their faults", of which they think they have little to none. Good for her if he commits but I'd stay on guard.
Stayed in with abusive parents till 23. Then stayed with abusive boyfriend for 7 years. Op just needs to be by herself for a while.
Not to mention that since it was 7 years that means op was 16 when they got together and the boyfriend was 20😬
@@SpamSam578 I came here to say this.
wow stop spamming
OP is a typical chick. Attracts the kinds of boyfriends that are just like her parents. Daddy issues up the ass!
@@SinisterScoundrel6562 ur misogyny is not welcome here
Dad should've been like "So, you want to suspend my daughter because you think her medical condition is distracting?"
get it in writing
get medical records
get lawyers
boom easy money.
@@justasentientmclarenp1879 kill them once the case is over.
????
Profit!!
@@nalrashido you’ll kill their careers
Depending of the way it's written, it could change the lawsuit.
If the principal wrote "Suspended for having white hair" > discrimination.
If it was "suspended for dying hair" > false accusation.
@@Juju2927 "suspended for having white, dyed hair" - both
When I was 12, I was diagnosed with tumor cancer, after 7 months of treatment, and losing all my hair, I came back to school, only to be told that my hair style was inappropriate. I simply asked " what hair? I just beat cancer. Are you telling me that you don't know why ive been gone for the last 7 months?" The teacher immediately apologized and never brought it up again. So yeah, I checked, and this was literally the only staff member who didn't know I was being hospitalized, fighting cancer that year.
I think if I was a parent and this happened to my kid I would've blown up. Like yes some high schoolers shave their heads but most little kids don't. If they're bald it's for a reason
Sorry that happened but congrats on the recovery
My father had to shave off my hair after a bad case of head lice that one summer. I leave 7th grade with hair only for 8th grade sporting a buzz like cut. I had lots of people like to rub my hair because it was fuzzy. Took almost one school year for it to go back to a decent length. Then I join NJROTC in high school so I was at the point where I need to keep it short above my collar line or risk points getting dock. It also took forever for it to go past shoulder length for me to put it up in a bun. Now I have decent hair that I normally donate for Wigs for Kids roughly every two years.
That's... profoundly stupid. Like, even putting the cancer aside, let's say you did just decide to shave your head one day. "That's an inappropriate hair style." So what? What does she expect? You to go home and concentrate real hard until your hair grows back? Staying home for half the school year until your hair is an acceptable length again? So ridiculous.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Teachers are all either amazing or absolutely terrible. I had a crappy teacher when my great grandpa died. He was telling us about some of the deadlines for parts of our final. When he got to one, I raised my hand and told him I wouldn’t be able to be there for that one because I was gonna be in Iowa. He said “well that’s inconvenient.” I responded with “yeah it was really inconvenient that my grandpa died, thanks.” He mumbled some “oh sorry” and moved on. We also found out he was grading different people different scores for the same work. We had crossword puzzles to do and I turned mine in and so did a friend of mine. I got an F on it and they got a 100%. I asked him about it when we got them back and saw our answers were the same. He said that we shouldn’t be looking at each other’s papers. Didn’t fix it or anything. So we found out where he lived and TPd his house. Smeared French onion dip on the sidewalk too. Some other boy who was 18 showed the school board Kik messages with who was supposedly this teacher saying they were inappropriately messaging each other. There was a picture too.
I feel bad for the woman in the 3rd story tbh, she's a victim of abuse & has clearly trauma bonded with him. She was so close to getting out, but he managed to drag her back into his BS. I hope that one day she finds the courage to leave him.
That is the most likely scenario but there are those rare instances where the guy goes to therapy, and has a life changing revelation. Guys like that don't just get up in the morning and think to themselves "I think today is a good day to start an argument and terrorize my girlfriend," it comes from deeper than that. They don't consciously realize what they're doing is wrong or harmful, and if they can be made to realize that, sudden abrupt changes can and do happen.
But yeah....rare.
@@adamb89 sadly something tells me bf will go to one therapy session then refuse to ever again
@@adamb89 even so, she has no obligation to continue to be abused until that happens. This is exactly the logic that keeps people in these situations, constantly thinking that they'll charge when they just plainly aren't changing at all.
It's easier said than done with leaving an abusive situation. After a while it starts to feel normal and
@@adamb89 also it seems like he is going for her, to get her back, Instead of for himself, like it probably should be. It's most likely just more manipulation, but we don't really know their situation fully.
“Your extreme hair is still a distraction. Consider yourself lucky”
No. Consider yourself lucky. You just avoided a lawsuit
exactly, instead of going to the board with the photo album, they should have gone with a photo album and a lawyer and said they would sue for discrimination
If only you knew about Japanese school rules on hair
They basically had a problem with her looking like Rogue
@@dustypaladin9216 exactly
And we thought the gas lighting was just in the first story.
Remember: they don’t have to hurt you physically to be abusive.
Throwing objects is meant to intimidate you. Telling you to leave is asserting their control over you.
I feel bad for OP.
It's an intimidation tactic that doesn't involve physical contact, it's psychological abuse
And the fact that they're still together is just over me, like holy shit.
In the Natural hair is natural story, if the school did suspended her, they would have been suspending her for a medical condition, they already pretty much harassed her for it, which would have been a major lawsuit.
Honestly it’s probably a rare condition. I have never heard of it before now… granted I never knew I had visual snow before Reddit (an eye condition where I see tv static everywhere and floaters in the sky) granted in my case I thought the weird shit was normal stuff people saw. This one is more discriminatory towards one’s own genetics. Honestly to me I don’t really see the need to control hair like this. Mine didn’t care if you dyed it two colors or just had a streak, it knew the dress code and actually showing up were more important
Who tf are they to think they can control one's hair. Dresscodes are bullshit
Right my old school tried to suspend people for the most ridiculous things. Including telling my mom i was being suspended for eating a habenero for lunch.
They actually added a rule to the book the next year. Any pepper hotter than a bell will be considered a weapon and not allowed on school grounds
@@alfedosucksatgames5008 wtf? That's just ridiculous 🙄
BF: "You should move out, I'm tired of this! You're the worst blah blah blah..."
OP: **Actually moves out**
Also BF: **Surprised Pikachu Face** "You weren't supposed to do that."
Me- Good, glad she left that toxic relationship and now she can live a better life AWAY from him.
OP- ...And yes, we're still together.
Me- *surprised Pikachu face*
@@Xolivas1 unfortunately it happens a lot. Trauma bonding and unhealthy attachments are hell to get away from. I hope she got help :(
@@_.-._.-. He agreed to therapy, people deserve a second chance to better themselves. Let's hope it works, most abusers wouldn't even consider doing such but he is actually willing to drop his pride and give it a try, that alone is the first step towards becoming a better person. (Not trying to say it will 100% work or that he will actually change but let's hope he learns at least something from the sessions)
OP did their part and that professor downplayed their attempts to reach anybody and made THEM the bad guy. I’m glad that professor got fired, but OP should have gotten 100.
@Just wow bruh...
I can't believe OP didn't forward the emails and the grade. Honestly at my school when you contest a grade, it goes through a process first where your grades are compared to the rubric by a handful of what is essentially a group of TAs and passed up to the board to be checked. This could fuck you if you did worse than you were graded for, but essentially the teacher wouldn't be allowed to just pick whatever grade he wanted or be allowed to grade at that point at all. Especially since OP showed adequate attempts to contact all group members and the prof and show the prof the evidence.
@Just wow no, we didnt
@@chevgage6210 they said in the story they were already exhausted from everything so they probably just didn't have the energy left to contest it. I get it, I probably would've just taken the 70 too. Seems like such a stressful situation.
@Just wow holy shit. Stop spamming links no one cares about. We missed it cause we don’t wanna watch it…
3rd story makes sense: abused kids exceedingly commonlly tend to end up in abusive relationships, since that's what we were raised to be used to.
therapy and education about manipulation tactics is key to escape the cycle
My neighbour just has abusive bf after abusive bf, it's really depressing to see. Her kids no longer stay with her because they're old enough to know she'll bring home people that scare them.
Yes, I was like this as a teenager, and was abu$Ed daily, but when I got therapy, I broke that cycle, and I'm now married and have three kids, and finally feel loved.. The best part about having an own family? The quiet and stress free home and nobody screaming at each other daily! I'm so happy now! ❤️
They don't like the pattern, but It's the only one they know, so they continue to repeat it.
Speaking from experience - I used to wonder why I kept picking wrong 'uns until this occurred to me. So I just stopped picking. And never tried again in case I just carried on from where I'd left off.
Yep. I never realized how bad my two long term relationships were until I met my now fiancé and started therapy 🤦🏻♀️
“I can own candles!” Honestly, that alone would have been enough for me to sympathise with her. To be so excited to be able to own such an insignificant thing because that’s how horrible her boyfriend was is kinda heartbreaking. Kinda like when people from poor countries are happy just to have shoes, or something warm to eat, or clean water etc.
Right? I had to move back in with my dad because finances, and I couldn't have candles lit there, but he's on oxygen! There's a reason for it at his house! He bought me a candle warmer to make up for it. OP needs to get out of that relationship, not just out of that house
@@jacquelynsmith2351 While I agree that yeah, leaving the relationship would be the most rational thing to do, agreeing on giving him a last chance if he actually goes through with getting therapy might not be a wrong call, either. Often times abusers become abusive for reasons outside of their control, for example being raised by abusive parents. This can normalise abuse in your eyes because you might have never learned that it is wrong.
What is most important though, is that she needs to be very strict about his therapy. If he chickens out of therapy, that should be the end of his final chance, no matter what, same for if the therapy is unsuccessful. There should not be any "at least he tried" excuses. Either he improves or it should be the end.
@@Celediev you're right. Some ppl can actually benefit from therapy. I think I was just projecting since I dated a guy who did not
@@jacquelynsmith2351 I guess your projecting could be justified in this case. I do not know statistics to back that up but I can imagine very well that a lot of people promising to get therapy do not intend to go there for self improvement.
With OP having gone to therapy herself and having made positive experience with it, she might see it possibly working for him as well.
Both are very valid ways to approach the given situation. I personally would leave that kind of relationship asap and not turn back, but I can understand where she is coming from.
normally i would agree however, it might just be me though, i get really happy when i dig holes, i'v been banned from digging said holes, my buddy called me over to help dig a 2 foot deep 5 inch wide trench for his power line, i was giddy the entire time. morral of the story, some people get happy over some dumb crap.
Remember. If a teacher or doctor gets fired, you probably did the community a huge service
Yep
Really any position of authority that's some degree of unavoidable to engage with. So police, doctors (especially specialists where you have even less choice), teachers, judges, etc.
I dont think so
8/10 maybe. There could be corruption going on and they might try to get them out of there so they can keep doing something illegal.
Honestly I hate ppl that have IMPORTANT postions in society and let it go to their head or dont do their job right or wrong on purpose
Like a doctor or teacher
1st one can litterly hold their life in their hands and if they dont do their job right u could be fucked
2nd one might not be life or death but just as important in a different way
Everyone is a kid and having good teacher is quite nice
Lmao the poliosis case is such an easy discrimination suit it's not even fuuuuunny. Forcing her to dye her natural color or make changes to fit into an uninforcible code due to what is essentially a "medical condition" and then FURTHER harrassing that student after they got caught in their mistake? Oooooohohoho no. I can't believe her parents didn't go scorched earth.
I know! Even after it was proved to her that it was the girl's natural hair the principal still gave her a warning about her 'extreme' hair. The parents should have torn right through that woman.
no kidding. Especially since the dad had the same thing... why didn't he stick up more for her.
also, the cousin might want to get some of her other physicality checked. if the condition rode on a Male gene and is showing up on a Female offspring, there might be some other things she needs to watch out for. like higher levels of testosterone that could cause some medical conditions that were far more serious than a skunk streak.
It made me very angry that the school had no justice, and the girl only was harmed by the situation. There wasn’t a happy ending, the school would do that again to someone else without a second thought. It’s very awful
There was a story in Japan where a girl who's natural hair color was brown instead of the natural black most Japanese people have and the school harassed her over it. She ended up suing their equivalent to a school board back in 2017 and the courts finally ruled partially in her favor this past February.
That boyfriend is a red flag covered in red flags. OP needs to run and not look back.
Sometimes it's not that easy, when all you have known is abuse and you grow up from a very early age being told you're worthless and this kind of "love" is all you deserve, it takes a long time to get yourself to believe it's not true. My mother is a narcissistic sociopath, my dad is her enabler and my siblings are narcissists. I was put into foster care as a child and jumped from abusive relationships to abusive foster homes to abusive friendships my whole life. It wasnt until about 10 years ago when I finally realised I didnt deserve the 6 years of being abused, r@p3d and beaten everyday that I broke free. I had to take 8 years to build myself back up again and then I met my now fiance of 2 years. I still struggle everyday but it gets easier. I still have anxiety, ptsd, self doubt. I am absolutely paranoid about my partner cheating on me, leaving one day, realising I'm a fraud (even though I know I'm not) I can't go out on my own, I have panic attacks every time he throws a pair of socks in my direction (for example, if I am doing the washing and I ask him to chuck me the socks to put in the washer) my fiance is the most amazing, patient and kind human being in the world and he has helped me so much but I still have issues. For context, I am 31 in march. I have been with my partner since I was 29, I was single for 8 years and I spent every waking moment from birth to 21 years old being abused verbally, physically, emotionally, socially, mentally and sexually. Does that make me an idiot for not stopping the cycle sooner? No. No it does not.
Every one told me after I left my ex "oh everyone has been in abusive relationships and they get away from them earlier and easily, what's your excuse" no, not everyone has been in abusive relationships. There are relationships that are just red flags and boundary pushing and then theres abusive. The genuinely abusive ones are harder to break free from. It takes time and occasionally money and support but eventually we do break free. It's not as easy as "just leaving"
@@maddydavidsdottir9862 I’m so sorry you had all that shit. Building yourself up and fighting for what you deserve is hard. Leaving a lifetime of abuse is really hard, especially when you’ve never known anything else. You’ve got an awesome survival story and an amazing, loving partner. I’m happy for you and the life you’ve made for yourself.
Had a professor explain how he would be late everyday due to working at another college before our class. A student explained that they attended class at the same college and would also be late occasionally. The professor just flat out refused to allow it. We literally had to be punctual to his lateness.
I had a professor be fifteen minutes late almost every class for the entire course. First time he claimed that he got a flat tyre. Second time he blamed traffic. Third time his kids. After that he just said that he’d be late. He justified it by saying that we could make up for lost time by skipping the scheduled 15min break in the middle of our 2h session. Same professor also said first day of class that this class was uninteresting and he’d much rather teach something else, so it was pretty obvious to everyone that he didn’t give an f about us or the class.
@@tovekauppi1616 I would have filed a complaint with the administrators that he was cheating you out if what you were paying for.
OTOH, I tested out of a three year engineering course while in the US Army, so I never took even one class. It pissed them off, because no one had ever done it for that course. (26T20)
Another professor failed the entire class on an essay project and then offered to let us do it again. We rewrote the papers and he turned them back to us with corrections and no grade. He said "I never told you I would regarde them, just that you could rewrite them."
@@michaelterrell I was one of the most annoying students when I was in school. I didn't let teachers get away with shit and I made a formal complaint about one who would teach things unrelated to what we were being tested on. Things completely unrelated to the subject matter. I told the dean, "I'm not smart enough to teach myself physics"
Also I say teachers because it was community college. very few people there I would have considered a professor.
@@ThisChangeIsAwful My High School Physics teacher told our class that iif they had any questions about Electricity or Electronics to ask me instead of him. I was bored to death in most classes, but I was a Teacher's Assistant for our Electronics classes, and I nearly got my Junior English teacher fired. She gave the vague assignment of, "Prepare and give a five minute talk on a subject that you know well." Mine was on "The Theory and Application of Single Sideband Communications." That included drawings of waveforms on the green board. She started yelling that there was no such thing. That I had made it all up, and that I was going to get a zero for the entire semester. During her rant, the Dean of Boys had sent a runner to get me for an emergency for the school. She refused to let me leave, as a student told her, "I've been trying to learn this for a couple years. I'm an Amateur Radio operator, and I know understand it." She started yelling at him, as well.
A few few minutes later the Dean walked in and yelled at her to stop disrupting the entire floor . She lowered her volume but she continued to call me a liar. He sighed and told her, "If he tells you anything about Electronics, you damned well better listen. He is our resident expert. Not only that, but when I send for hm you will let him leave because it is something important to the entire school.
Then he asked, "What was the assignment?" The entire class quoted her, word for word. He just grinned and asked, "Miss Friend, who hired you?" She gave a smug smiled, "The school board!" He grinned, "Yes, but who renews your contract for next year?" She went pale. He told her that I better get t100 for that assignment, and that he would be monitoring my grades for her class for the rest of the year.
BTW, 'The Professor' on Gilligan's Island was actually a high school science teacher
After the series, Bob Denver, (Gilligan) taught high school science classes.
😁
I really wanted the student in “natural hair colour” to reply “you know what’s a distraction? Taking students out of class for pointless reasons”
First story: Not watch emails in the pandemic is not want to work. No matter what he say he can't put the blame in OP. And OP's teammates are worse for basically abanding him.
Given how lazy he is, I wouldn't be surprised if he accidentally assigned OP to a group with students from last semester or something. I remember I once dropped a college class during the first week, well before groups were assigned for the group project, only to find out three months later that I'd apparently been put in a group anyway (a group member cc'd me on a group-wide email), leaving them shorthanded. Ironically, the main reason I dropped the class was because a large part of our grade was the group project and the graduate student teaching the class didn't seem to know how to manage such projects properly---I guess I was right.
the hair story reminds me of someone i knew. she was a natural redhead and in case you dont know they dont go grey, with age it turns white and usually much later in life. Sadly this girl started turning white very young (like late teens, i think it was due to something she had but i didnt push the question) but at first was dyeing it, she stopped doing it and decided to go full light blond instead and got scolded by her grandmother with whom she now lived during university who told her "never dye your pretty natural hair, the colour is too beautiful and rare, gingers should never dye their hair" so well... she stopped and it started growing .. oh boy the grandma was not pleased XD
It's one if those best left unsaid kind of things...
The 3rd story confirmed my suspicions of the boyfriend: He's a narcissist! Good for her for using his words against him and ACTUALLY moving out, because HOLY CRAP!
I was going to say that.
Sadly, she's still together with the narcissistic jerk. She has Stockholm Syndrome.
Leave this situation OP. It's not worth your sanity and it's not worth your health.
@@evadedenbach1226 I wouldn't say Stockholm syndrome, more like she trauma bonded with him.
Story 4; I have really dark hair with a huge bright blind streak through it. Almost platinum blond. We also had a strict no dying hair rule. The head of the primary school (it was a small combined primary and secondary school) didn't like my hair and talked to my mum once after school in front of the other parents. My mum told her that on my dads side all the women and some of the men have very similar blond streaks and there was no way she or any responsible parent would let a seven year old bleach their hair blond. It's also funny because that teacher's roots were ashy grey but she dyed her hair brown. So much for setting an example lol
Hair is weird. My hair has naturally gone through 3 different colors..
I was born with black hair. My hair turned blonde by the time I was in elementary school. By the time I was in middle school I had copperish brown hair. And now post graduation I had dark brown hair.
Dress codes always blamed girls for “distracting” boys. The reality is none of the students care or get distracted by each other’s hair or clothing. It’s teachers who have a problem with how teen girls dress and look. And if they’re so disturbed and distracted by a teen girls shoulders then they have bigger problems than how the kids are dressed.
I think a larger part of it is to instill conformance at a younger age. By making the kids follow all your rules you instill that they should keep it going into adult life. At least I think that is more the idea. It's not a thing in Norway but I hear it's a thing in other countries.
Wow, this is so spot on.
Sometimes it's just plain being spiteful. Like "we weren't allowed to do things like this at school back in the day and neither shall you be allowed!"
Actually, boys do get distracted, that is a reality and a fact of life. If dress codes are there, they are there for a reason and should be adhered to. Girls / Women dress in ways to get attention, that is a fact and has always been that way.
Edit: That said, this story is hilarious and the teaching staff is clueless.
We had a boy wear short shorts to school multiple times to see if he would get in trouble for it like the girls do... he didnt.
Story 3:
the place wasn't unsafe; the relationship *is.* For OP to gloss over this and just stay in a relationship with an abusive douchebag bothers me very much... it's just a matter of time before we see a comment from OP in the AITA subreddit with the title:
"AITA for getting sad/angry when my boyfriend physically beat me?"
Leave him OP. He doesn't love you, he doesn't care about you. All he cares about is "being right"; and when he's wrong you're the closest outlet for his aggression.
Closest outlet/easiest punching bag
@@kranberry3318 Exactly; unsafe relationship.
went from an abusive family to an abusive boyfriend and she's still with the boyfriend. OP really needs someone on her side to support her and help her get away from him and build herself up
I'm surprised her therapist didn't suggest breaking up with him. Then again, maybe they did, but OP ignored it because "I can change him!"
No, you can't.
Rslash, OP said it themselves: it's hard to just leave a 7 year relationship. They will be making small steps to finally leave that trash bag once they see how much better their life is without him around. Even if he goes to therapy, it'll become clear he has no intent to change and it may become easier for OP to leave him.
Edit: almost forgot, OP mentioned they had abusive parents growing up. They're just so used to abuse that it becomes really difficult to leave such an environment when you're so used to it. Be mindful towards situations like these.
You don't know if he has no intend to change. Maybe he does maybe not, that is a thing between these two. If he doesn't change she should leave immediately, if he changes its her thing if she want to stay even tho they had a very bad time.
If my math is right she was 16 and he was 20 when they got together. 23 then the story happened but at that point the relationship was 7 years in with how she worded it. I don't think he's gonna change much, after hearing the story he probably manipulated the crap out of her when she was younger and nieve
@@vikingking008 actually she was 19 when they got together.
@@aduckofsomesort you go from the point where she left her parents which is wrong, she is now 26.
@@aduckofsomesort unlike anyone else here i did more than the bare minimum 1st grade math, i actually looked up her reddit for more context and she said she was 19 when they got together. Also it's kinda logical since no person could do both in the same year, leaving abusive parents and have that don't it themselves without breaking down. She left at 23 from her parents and left him 3 years later
13:33 I believe they call that "discrimination due to a medical condition." I'd be calling lawyers and naming the principal in the suit personally.
"Your extreme hair is still a distraction to the other students" I'm sorry, *_what_*
This is a great lawsuit. I'm glad the family is taking the child out of the abusive school and homeschooling.
That's a Karen alert right there. She has that "You have a medical condition, but you are still distracting anyway." Imagine telling an autistic kid that.
If I would've been in the father's place and heard that, I would've blown up in the face of that principle so the whole school hears it
@@benjiro8793 leaving school doesnt necessarily mean they are cutting her socail contacts. She can still stay in contact with her existing friends, plus there are extracurricular activities she could sign up for, and there are meets specifically for homeschool kids to be able to make friends
@@benjiro8793 why do you think that homeschooled children have no social contact? They are homeschool networks. Children actually take classes with groups of other children being taught by one parent. Sometimes they actually hire credentialed teachers to teach specific classes such as advanced math. They usually sign them up for multiple clubs and sports as well.
The difference is the child's in a positive environment with respectful peers and adults. Not in a hellhole prison where they are forced to be with abusive people all day.
Isn't it interesting how it's only ever school staff and/or entitled parents that thinks these "extreme" outfits or hair dyes is in any way distracting?
Funny thing is i never heard stuff like that about schools in germany. i remember once a girl on my school cut of all her very long and pretty hair to give it to her cousin with cancer and nobody cared as far as i know. We wore shirts from Bands like Cannibal Corpse to school and nobody cared (aside from the typical "thats just a phase" from one of the older teachers)
@@mrn234 Same here in Denmark, unless it's something over the top like wearing nothing but a mankini, then you can basically wear whatever you want and no one bats an eye about it
Yeah, at most I can see people noticing... for about two minutes.
@@mrn234 Same in France. The exception I know are technical schools but it make sense, as you're supposed to be clothed for work. Of course a Cannibal Corpse t-shirt won't get you fired but a comment about it being innapropriate. Big nos would be wearing sandals, oversized clothing or shorts, as it get you exposed to dangers when operating machines or using tools.
But if it's a day without bench work you usually get a pass, too.
To be fair, not dying hair is a good rule to have for a different reason. Dying hair is very destructive to them in the long run and school should teach more than just the raw data. Obviously, the staff needs to actually know this to explain it to students...
There are also other reasons for dress code in schools than "it's distracting", but those schools typically have actual uniforms, rather than depending on students picking their clothes from their own wardrobe following some list of do's and don't's.
So yeah, this story is clearly showing the staff having little in the way of 'brain', but let's not instantly diss the concept behind it which was simply misused, rather than inherently bad.
The other day actually, my sister came home and apparently her teacher had dress coded some student in class. Some people complained out loud to him and he asked “everyone here who has been turned on by revealed shoulders please raise your hand”
No one raised their hand. Except the teacher. Eugh.
Ewww
Oh god that is just disgusting
🧢
that dude needs to get fired.
Really proves the point everyone's been making that teachers are projecting and don't want to feel like the pedophiles they are.
And unrealistic dress code for hair? Sounds like one of them schools that doesn't keep very many students in it for very long. Who'd want to be taught there?
Welcome to the wonderful world of US schools (especially religious private schools)
@@StoutShako Yes but none of my schools put us through such bullshit.
When the professor emailed his bs retaliation, I would’ve taken THAT straight to his superiors as well
exactly what I was thinking.
The first story just reminds me of that one story from when we were kids. “The Little Red Hen.” They want someone else to do all the work and get themselves a piece of the pie.
The hair color thing - not only is it a lawsuit in the making, but what's stopping the dad from going to the news too? That could be so much more damaging in terms of public opinion
Yeah, but what's the point of being vindictive? The goal is to have their child be treated fairly, not vengeance for their shitty behaviour
14:52 Nah. you won't have a successful lawsuit. The school would backpedal so fast you'll have a settlement offer by the end of the day.
Settlement is worth it, as it'll come out of their pocket. Sustenance.
@@MetaDragoon Only if it is a private school
even better, keep it quick.
The natural hair story: Have you noticed that nearly every single school dress code rule pertains almost exclusively to girls? Weird!
Confirmation bias. Most of the rules in every place I've been are non-gender-specific. And there are plenty of male-only rules: no piercings - period. No sagging pants (which is usually seen on guys, not girls). Hair must be cut to a specific length or less, and neatly combed. Any rules about facial hair.
@@RedT...TheOriginal.NotANumber
I said « school » dress codes. No confirmation bias.
@@dianemartel5205 I was also talking about schools. The facial hair thing is from high school. I moved a lot as a kid, so I saw several different dress codes. All of them had something for everybody.
As for the other, I feel I need to point out the difference between "gender bias" and "confirmation bias".
Gender bias is believing one gender is inherently better or worse than the other.
Confirmation bias is having an opinion/hypothesis, then systematically accepting information which conforms to it while dismissing information which doesn't.
Both are usually done on a subconscious level, so they can be hard to spot in oneself.
In this case, I believe you notice the school dress codes for girls, and forget about the ones which are unisex or for guys.
Disclaimer: I'm speaking from experience of US schools, and US military installation schools overseas. I completely believe there are countries with dress codes only for girls, and guys can wear whatever.
@@RedT...TheOriginal.NotANumber I thought you typed 'no periods', so I was shocked and confused as to how they'd enforce that.
@@techyon9401 🤣
"Can I get that in writing?" You fool. You've fallen right into my trap!
So should we discuss that grown ups seems to get way to distracted by young girls shoulders and hair? Seems like there is to many creeps in staff 🙈🤔
I’m from Sweden and even if it’s some years since school we could wear tank tops and shorts. Maybe more modest ones than are in store nowadays but no one batted an eye cause everyone was like topless at the beach 😂
3rd story: she's 23, he's 27 and it is 7 year relationship.. I did the math and I don't really like the outcome... OP has to get out of there.
I don't know, it (barely) passes the "half your age plus seven" rule.
@@eddmario according to the math, it started when she was 15 and he was 20. The younger the people involved get, the less that "rule" is helpful.
In the first story, I was waiting for something stupid like the professor had accidentally not made the break-out rooms or communication paths right, so the other group members were working on their own and assuming the OP was the slacker. But I guess that kind of situation would've been sorted out much faster.
I remember one news story I read about this Japanese girl who had naturally brown hair, and her school had a policy of “all student must have black hair”- which just meant “no dyeing your hair” since the majority of Japanese people have naturally black hair. I think there was this whole lawsuit over it and eventually she did get a pass to… have the hair color she was born with but teachers still treated her like shit bc of it
2:38 This made me remember school. Remember folks, any educational institution is not your friend and does not care about what your work is or if it was any good. It just depends on what's on their paper and if the teacher(or in this case professor) is happy with it. I'm so glad that OP got the 0 and the professor removed through the board, because screw this bs.
The hair thing reminds my of my friend’s kid’s school in Japan. Schools here are very strict with uniforms, natural hair styles, no makeup, etc. My friend is black and her husband is Japanese, her daughter took after her and got very curly hair. The school’s rule for natural hair styles also includes no curling your hair, Japanese people mostly have straight hair as their natural hair. Basically when they made the rules they only considered Japanese students attending not any mixed or non-Japanese students going to the school. For her daughter to attend they had to get a formal doctor’s note saying curly hair was the child’s natural hair. The craziest part this is a elementary school. There’s a lot of outdated crazy rules like this still enforced now a days.
I'm pretty certain that the school getting upset about shoulders and "unnatural hair colors" is less because they think it will be distracting and more because they want to have control over the students and the way they look
Good day everyone, time for some Rslash while I cook mac and cheese. Today is a good day.
@Just wow go away bot
I like mac and cheese with ham🤤
Good morning
Feel Good inc.
simple but effective
The hair thing is definitely inherited. I know a mother and daughter that had the same white streak in the front of their head.
In highschool I looked in the rules and it said you can dye your hair natural colors and being a teen I went for white. The dean (guy in his late 60's) did not approve of it and said it was distracting until that I said his hair was more white then mine and I never heard a word about my hair after that.
I would’ve ripped that principle and teacher a new one if they harassed my kid over their natural hair. I would have been that ‘Karen’. That is absolutely terrible.
If you’re fighting against legitimate discrimination, you’re not a Karen. You’re just a caring parent defending their child.
I wish I could do malicious revenge because I found out almost everyone in my bf and I's mutual friend group hates me and hid it from me and my boyfriend for who knows how long
Damn, do you know why they don’t like you?
by definition, revenge would be malicious. also it's best served cold.
@@amazinglynn one is because I told my bf beforehand about an intervention that I created for him and the one is still mad even though it's been over and done with the other friend claims I control what my bf says and does but if that were true my bf would have broke up with me because he doesn't like toxic relationships
Story 3:
Boyfriend is mad that OP is getting the help she needs and is becoming more and more assertive, and is no longer the easily controllable wreak he found her as. (Sorry, must be a double post...)
I had problem with "unnatural" hair color to. I had really long hair (lower than my knee) and it was clearly visible how level of melanin in them change over the years. My ends were lite brown, almost ginger shade, when my roots were... well black, but my bangs had blonde almost white stripes that increase volume after exposure to summer sun. I never dyed my hair, but was reprimanded for how it looked. I was often scolded how could I destroy my lovely natural color (usually by Karens).
My mum was ask just once by school to do something about it. She started at the teacher blankly and then ask how to change level of melanin in your body and how to make something not be bleached by the sun. When they tried to tell her to cut my hair, she said I am to old to be told how to take care of my hair (12 y/o). And then she said goodbye and that she has to go back to resolving real life problems.
There were no more compliance.
I remember reading these stories, especially the hair one. As a parent I would have been as vile and disgusting as possible, and loud doing it so it is heard through the walls just what I think of someone that disgusting. You pull that with a kid who is complying, then insulting them, call them a liar, and trying to embarrass them around the staff and students verbal destruction would ensue.
Gotta wonder what the student thought was going to happen by waiting until the last day to tell his teacher that something had gone wrong with his group. Even the most affable, communicative professor is going to be "uh, okay, what the hell do you want to do about it NOW?"
Student-teacher relationships don't work unless both parties give effort into them. Honestly the first story sounds like mutual failure.
Gaslighting boyfriend story: nowhere near as extreme but at around the same age as OP, I had a pretty toxic boyfriend who I was with for just over a year. In that time, we must have "split up" about 4 times, which basically consisted of him telling me that he didn't want to be with me anymore, me crying myself to sleep, and then him acting as if nothing had happened the next day. The very final time this happened, when he told me he didn't want to be with me I'd had more than enough. I just shrugged and said "OK!". Cue Shocked Pikachu face. The next day he reached out and I said "but we broke up! We're no longer together." He was furious, but I really dodged a bullet as he was a total loser.
So glad you came out of this!
@@McSnezzly Thank you! Me too! 😆
If I was the professor I would've given that one student who did all of the speeches 100% and the rest of the group 0%
That last story reminds me of when screaming abusive people would demand their case be processed, at the job I retired from. I would regularly be asked, "What! Is it going to take an act of Congress to get my case approved?!" to which I happily always replied, "YUP! This is the definition of a Federal case, so yes, it will take an act of Congress to get your case approved." Oh, how I wish I could share stories from that place.
I'm convinced that most school dress codes and appearance codes are designed to put kids in their place, not to fix any so-called distractions. In all probability, the educators and principal are far more concerned about how kids look than their peers are.
I’m surprised he was able to hold a straight face when saying the name of the Redditor from the first post
Yeah I heard that and was like "wait what?"
I just had to go back to see what the name was that’s fricken great lmao
I have Albinism. I remember when I was in 9th grade a teacher tried to get me expelled from school because my hair was in his words not natural since it is platinum blond due to the lack of pigment. He sent me home with a note telling my mother to dye it a more natural color so I would fit in. Of course my mother refused, and when we did not comply he tried to get me expelled. Fortunately the other teachers supposed me, and they gave this teacher a lesson on what albinism is. He did not stay at the school very long.
Hehe I love that last dad joke at the end about the rocket scientist lol so simple but yet so fitting 🤭😆😂🤣
When I was a kid, I had some really long hair, like a brunette Rapunzel basically. I had to flip my hair out of the way so I wouldn't sit on it because it ended just below my butt. So this was never an issue until I had this one math teacher. Every time I had math, she would walk around the room and always end up stopping behind me where she would just start playing with my hair. It was distracting. If I told her to stop, she would yell at me to not talk and to keep my eyes on my paper. I ended up wearing a sweater to math class over my hair or when it was too hot for that, as we were in living in Colorado at the time, I would just have my mom braid my hair. I had told her all about this teacher. The math teacher did NOT appreciate my new hairstyle choices, or the sweater trick. I don't know if it was related to what was going on with her but my gut feeling was that it had everything to do with her but soon a lady showed up in the hall with a barber shop table.
The school was in the shape of a giant L, so in the lobby, as you walk in is where the vertical and horizontal parts of the school meet with the Auditorium right in front of the entrance, the office to the right of the entrance and everything horizontal after the office and connected nurse room was the little kid classes. Vertical part of the school was for the older kid classes. On the other side of the hall from the Auditorium was the gym which had doors leading outside to the fenced in recess area from the end of the horizontal to vertical, making a rectangle out of the L shaped school. After the Auditorium was the lunch room and across from that was another pair of doors to outside, the rest that way was classes. So the "Barber Shop" table was lodged in the hallway, between the Gymnastics and Auditorium, blocking access to my classes and kids that I knew previously had long hair, were now crying as they were allowed to go to class. The woman sees me and my long hair and waves me over, patting the chair for me to sit down. I went over there but not to sit down, I walked right into Gymnastics class, went outside, went back inside right behind the woman and went to class. My teacher was NOT happy about this and told me if I didn't have a haircut I would get detention. I told her I've already talked to my mom about her and if I am to be given detention over this, guess who's going to be hearing from the school board very soon. I didn't get detention, I kept my hair braided. On Graduation day from 5th grade, my math teacher told me she was going to throw a party to be finally rid of me. I told her that she'll be throwing a party for never getting to play with my luscious hair again.
I don't believe for a second that our shoulders and hair are a distraction to other students. It's definitely a distraction to our teachers but they hide behind a lie so conceal the fact that they have an inappropriate obsession with their students.
That story about the hair is a condition also called luecisium, where melanin slowly fades over time, like with the hair on your head. Or it can Express in a condition called vitiligo, were the shin pigment is patchy, like a pinto or paint horses` markings.
my friend had this in the middle of lashes and a bit on the head. It's not even that rare
@@damekkoDark I am aware I have a cousin with the condition
My school was also very strict with hair colors, and before I went there I used to dye a strand of my hair pink every June for cancer awareness, as multiple people in my family had it. When the school told me I wasn't allowed to dye my hair, my mom and I bought a pink clip in and I wore it school, under the rest of hair, then would change its location as soon as I got on the bus.
I’ve been there, sleeping in the car because it was safer than sleeping with the boyfriend. I was still naive and someone had to tell me his behaviour was wrong: after I nonchalantly mentioned some things he does to my friend, the record screeched to a halt and she told me what’s up. I hope people told this person that it IS easy to leave a 7 year relationship when it’s not really a relationship.
Apparently it was a relationship before she moved to him but i don't know. Not enough context there
3rd story: I understand that op might not realize she's in abusive relationship because of how she was raised. However, the fact that she felt unsafe living with him. Is reason enough to break up with him. Plus he used her fear (of being out on the street again) against her. So I hope the best for op and I hope she breaks up with him.
OP was being emotionally abused. I’m not sure how he can just think it’s that easy to get up and leave. Some times r/Slash makes very tone deaf comments. Like seriously “just apply this to yourself!” If it was that easy people wouldn’t be in abusive relationships.
That first story is so funny, if I were a teacher I would have given OP extra credit and everyone else zeroes. Not only did OP do the whole thing themselves, but they also did it with humor and creativity. Amazing
“Pro tip: do not look up house centipedes if you’ve never seen them”
Me: *hello Google images*
Update: I feel strange
That better be a scarred, worried strange I swear to god
Banana spiders...
I got in trouble all the time for dying my hair. Once had the hall monitor storm into the classroom, mid lesson, and scream at me for having blue hair. Nearly got expelled till my mom came down and went into angry mother mode.
Its time for my favorite part of the day......watching Rslash's newest videos! Keep it up Rslash! :)
Fourth story: From elementary to high school I had to use uniform and the only haircut men were allowed to have were military cuts. We could have a little stylish alteration as long the lenght isn't more than allowed. I needed a special haircut because how fast and thic my hair grows to make the haircut last, but it makes me look like I almost shaved the sides of my head.
This deserves a like just for hearing Slash Ketchum read the first OP's name, lol
Wait, OP 3 stayed with her boyfriend!? What in the Stockholm Syndrome...?
School teachers and faculty are some of the biggest b*llies in school :/
It is very hard to break free from an abusive relationship. She will get there eventually.
That third story really resonates with me really hard. I just left my abusive mother's house. My mother is essentially the female version of that boyfriend because a lot of the stuff he did my mother did to me
Morninggg rslash. This is a great video to listen to while I walk to work! Thanks🕺🕺
the hair story is medical and targeted discrimination. so they might have been able to bring felon charges against them. the school got really lucky the family brought in those photos.
School stories are very cathartic to a high school student like me lol
With the hair story, if she was in the US, she should have sued for a few million under the ADA.
Just the name of the first op made me laugh and it was worse when Rslash said it
OP who moved out of the abusive bfs home: you can genuinely want the best with healing and growth for someone but not need to stick around to assist it or watch it happen. It sounds like abusive bf probably convinced you "I can change" and that may or may not be true, but you can still say the abuse you've already experienced is enough and you hope he changes, without you.
Im highly distracted by the first OP's name....
4th story, thats happened to me before too. My dad's side has a dominant gene which makes our hair colour change under sunlight or any light in general, and when I was 6-7 I went up to my teacher to ask a question she was under the sun with another group of teachers including the vice principle. Before I could even ask the question the vice principle started scolding me for having "unnatural" hair I couldn't even get a word in, but my teacher saved me by confirming that I actually did have this hair colour and it wad natural. After that the vice principle just shut up, so next time get confirmation first before you assume anything about someone.
Is it 5pm already? Thought this hour would never come.
14:18 the dress code isn't for wandering students eyes... its unfortunately for wandering teachers/staffs wandering eyes
Good Morning Everyone
Good morning
Good morning
A couple points about the girl with the therapy.... 1- she was living with her boyfriend AND HIS PARENTS. She never said it was him who made her sleep on the mat, it's very possible his parents refused to have them sleep in the same bed. 2- They're still together -because- the boyfriend went to therapy. That's a good thing. If therapy saved her, it can fix him too, if he's serious about it. If not, she can leave him whenever.
The girl with the white streak should have brought the pictures there day one though... The reason schools do this is the same reason the army does: conformity brings obedience.
Day 416 of telling him he's making everyone day better
3rd story
OP: *Gets out of the abusive relationship.*
OP: *Still together with her abusive boyfriend.*
rslash (and everyone else): *Shocked Pikachu face*
Rslash has said some strange things, but "Wreck me senpai" (op in the 1st story) is pretty high on the list of the weirdest things he's said.
Boyfriend: You will never amount to anything!
OP: Bitch, I got candles!
Me: Brilliant!
I love that 'get it in writing' idea. If I actually got it I'd stand up and say:
"OK, here's what going to happen, from now on you are to back the hell off and leave my daughter alone. And before you say no, bear in mind that you just handed me a written confession of your deliberate discrimination of my daughter's medical condition."
Always divide up your group work so that you can prove to your prof. your team's incompetence. I had a student in a group that would not reply or submit to our group paper until the day of, and then 40% of the paper came out plagiarized. You could copy/paste the student's contributions and have it come up straight on Google. Didn't even need a checker. I've only ever had 1 or 2 group assignments throughout all of college of not my entire education in which other teammates were not useless.
NEVER call an engineer a scientist. You'll get both engineers and scientists angry. That said, great joke.
Right engineers do the work while scientist only sit on their butts. Nah I'm joking both do very important work.
I’m so confused about the school disapproving of that girl. One of my favorite teachers in high school had the same thing. They didn’t make her dye her random white streak because normal people realize its a real condition 🙄
One's a teacher and the other is a student hope that helps clear it up.
13:28 "they're going to wonder why you're getting special treatment" Yeah, bud? and who's fault is that. Stop treating me differently and I'll stop being treated differently. That's all on you.
If OP was with her boyfriend for 7 years, and she's 23 while he's 27, That means they got together when he was 20 and she was 16. He was probably talking to her long before that too...I wouldn't be surprised if he groomed her making it that much harder to leave him
19* so probably no grooming involved
23 - 7 is 16 yeah? Unless I'm missing something that's not a great gap
From what I heard in the other comments she clarified that the bf was 19 at the time, not 20
@@doodledumpster5281 she clarified in a reddit post that they got together at 19 (he was 23), she left from her parents with 23 he was 27 and now she's 26. No person could do 2 breakups from a household like that in 1 year, she would break down if she actually would've left her abusive parents and then the shit with him.
@@cat_clawz9473 no she was 19, her boyfriend was 23.
The distraction is from the teachers not other students. My daughter a platinum blonde, bought colored clip ins, with her natural hair color the clip ins were very noticible. 2 teachers decided that it was to distracting so she just uncliped them. The teachers were shamed by the boys for making her remove then
Not even ten seconds in and I've already busted out laughing. r/Slash saying "wreck me, Senpai" in such a monotone voice is the funniest thing he's ever done.
I went to a Catholic school that both my older brothers went to. They both had a reputation for being bad. My one brother wasn't even in school anymore but older teachers remembered him. When I entered the school, the teachers assumed I would be the same way (side note: It took me about a year and convincing a few teachers I wanted to grow up to be a nun to get them to like me). My oldest brother came into school one day with rainbow hair. They didn't send him home to dye his hair, they made him shave it all off.
Skip forward 7ish years. I was blonde as a kid but my hair starting changing to brown around late elementary school. When I went into middle school, it looked like I had streaks and my teachers thought I was dying my hair an unnatural color. They tried to give me a detention and my parents had to write a note explaining that no, my hair was naturally streaked.
This is the same school that, during a project to write a recipe of a traditional recipe that your family ate every Christmas, gave my brother detention for "making up a food that obviously doesn't exist". The recipe was for Gołąbki, a dish my family ate all the time. There is a reason my parents were so used to writing notes to explain why my school was wrong.
That one about the hair dye ended on such a stupid note. So they try to expel her for a medical condition that they don't understand, and then when they learn that's not something they can do they try to shame her for it instead.
OP With the bf needs to wake up and get out that relationship fully.. A Narcissistic, manipulator / gaslighting person will never change. Sure they'll go therapy to prove they have changed/will change..
But its all just part of their manipulation process to keep their victim
Stories aside, rSlash saying "Wreck me Senpai" was the last thing I expected to hear at 2 in the morning...
Oh boy ! The 3rd story is a classic case of a "Narcissistic Pervert" (the pervert part does not refer to anything sexual in nature but to the pleasure they take in tormenting). It's more common than one would think. Most of them refuse therapy as it would be "admitting their faults", of which they think they have little to none. Good for her if he commits but I'd stay on guard.