Well, seems to me this “caregiver” should NOT be allowed to be a “caregiver”. Sadly, there are those in Foster Care for the money and not the kids. You are 100% correct! It’s about the kids; not the adults. What is best for the kids? Then do it.
Oh yes. Lots are in it for the money. Which is clearly not a thing for this family. I wish they could have been foster parents for me for a short bit. My foster family was great, but I had tough teenage years. Could have used a respite with these guys!
That’s so ridiculous! 🤦🏻♀️ The money isn’t even enough to be worth it if that’s your only motive. If you’re meeting the child’s needs as you should be, there’s really not much leftover, so why?
"Whose needs!? Those brats are lucky I took them in. A bowl of cereal, worn down clothes and a garbage bag are enough for them. They're needs? What about me!? I have to be compensated for my troubles!"
Do not offer to pay that caregiver. She does not like you. She can turn that around to hurt you. Think trafficking. Do not offer an exchange of money, so you do not get in trouble.
Just hearing this hurts my heart for Miss A and her brother. As for the other foster parent, I realize that no one likes being called out, but not having a child buckled into a proper, age-appropriate seat belt is beyond outrageous. You did the right thing, and also attempted to do it as circumspectly as possible. Truth is, *you guys* are the ones who have the right to be angry if another parent puts you in the position of even *needing* to report safety risks, abuse, or any other potentially dangerous situation for children in their care! Sorry. I shouldn’t even get started here, so I’ll just end with, “Thank you for being a conscientious advocate for children in general and for Miss B, specifically, as your foster child.”
I agree. Sometimes the other parent will probably just “know,” though, or strongly suspect. Hard to keep the shock off your face when seeing a toddler in a car who’s not buckled into an appropriate 3-point safety seat.
When I was a private foster care case worker, I was always the “bad worker” according to our local DHHR because I was more concerned with how the kids felt/wanted than how the county workers felt. I don’t care if a case workers feelings are hurt for a few minutes, I do care if a bad placement causes even more trauma to a child though! (luckily I write policy now !!)
Way to move up and make a difference! My husband used to be a case worker and he ended up changing jobs because he couldn't handle how bad the system was and to him the changes weren't being made.
foster mom also : this will continue to be an issue, in our county hearings are every 3 months & you only get the judges attention for a minute... when I advocate for my foster baby’s best interest (visits with his sisters) I ask his GAL to add it to the court order. For example miss A’s brother gets 2 overnights each month with his sister at your home. Then it’s not respite care & doesn’t effect “her” Per-diem. I don’t apologize for being a mama bear for my foster anymore than I would for my bio’s! I love him like he’s mine & fight for him like he’s mine ...until he’s not.
I’m so glad you shared this because that goes to show some people are just in this for the money. That other caregiver should be removed from the program permanently! But there is already a shortage of foster homes that she will stay. It’s why foster care gets the bad rap it does.....I could go on and on.
After the premiere ended, I had to go back & watch it again. I want to tell you from my own childhood experience, those kids (Miss A) can see your heart, & I guarantee you, she will never, ever forget your love & kindness!! I haven't forgotten someone that came to my rescue, took good care of me & genuinely showed me a love I had never seen before & never experienced again. Those two weeks with those people will forever hold a very special place in my heart & I was only 9 yrs old then & am now 60 & just never will forget their special love!!! I guarantee you, Miss A will never forget yours!!! Thank you SO MUCH for being sunshine on the cloudy days for her!!😘💞
Whitney & John, continue to advocate! That caregiver needs to soul search and decide if she’s in it for the kids or the money. Like you, I will always advocate for my kiddos, even if I piss off caseworkers. Just a suggestion, if you haven’t already, write an email to all the people who were involved in this. It creates the dreaded paper trail, but forces caseworkers to admit. Also CC their supervisors. I’m at 15 years fostering and once it’s in writing, caseworkers have to do their jobs. Add in what you saw with caregiver. I email all my updates and my worker will usually phone me to talk about it. Foster care is supposed to be about the kids, but sometimes it’s about who is lazy in note taking and who isn’t. I email updates on my kiddos every Monday; it can be a long or short update, but it’s all in writing. Keep up the great work you’re doing. ❤️
As someone who works in the mental health field and deals with social workers on a regular basis, I highly recommend emailing as a constant form of communication-not phone calls. Leave a paper trail and also CC the SW’s supervisor on important or controversial situations. It’s amazing the power that CC’ing their supervisors has.
I wish there were more people like you both in this world. You are most certainly NOT the bad guys....like you said you have to do what is right by the kids ...period. I hope things get better for your situation for Miss A's sake & she is so lucky to have ya'll!
I was in Foster care for about 6 months and my foster parents made sure I seen my brother (he’s of age so it wasn’t as hard to arrange) he cried and told her how grateful he was that they were so good to me. (He was only 18 so they wouldn’t let him have me) We still go to church with them. They will always be a part of my story, I will never forget the love and kindness they showed me when I was so scared.
No good deed goes unpunished. You guys are great, and it's great to see a mandated reporter actually reporting what they're supposed to report. Many don't. I'm sorry for your frustrations but I'm glad you have each other to lean on.
You said it all and this is why the foster care system fails. They don’t want you to make things good for the kids they want it to suck. When you try they make it so stressful eventually you get worn out!!! However please continue to fight for what’s right!!! You got a large community behind you!!!
I want to say as a 16 year old that hasn't seen one sister since I was 11, and haven't seen two other sisters since October (their mom wont let me cuz I spoke up about what life was like living with her) it makes me happy to see foster parents fighting to give siblings that time. I live with my grandma(should be in foster care but the case workers are already overloaded they don't have the space to put me anywhere, so I'm here) and she doesn't care about whether or not I see my sisters. She finds it annoying that I still get upset knowing that I'm not allowed to be around them because of distance (the case of the first sibling) or because the abusers don't like that I spoke up. Hopefully this issue is resolved soon, and that woman does seem to only be interested in money, which is sad.
@@BeTheVillageCommunity it's alright! I'm working to get myself emancipated, I've had family members, and friends supporting me getting emancipated. I'm hoping to not be here by Christmas
@@natalieh1950 Have you taken a look at Job Corps? You can live on their campuses and get job training and education. If you look into it and apply now, you might be able to get in whether or not you are emancipated. Job skills etc will help prove your emancipation case. Make sure you have your ID, birth certificate and social security card before you leave your current situation! Good luck!!!!
Whitney, I was present when my cousin's young son died after a car accident. The picture of him ln the hospital bed, with his sweet little head wrapped up, is emblazoned on my heart. You absolutely did the right thing in reporting the car seat. To anyone reading this that ever has care over a child, please, please, hear my plea and NEVER drive without having the child properly restrained. It's just not worth the risk, for any reason.
I just wanted to say thank you for Truly caring about the kids in your care. Miss A is very lucky to have such caring, amazing foster parents. I was in foster care from 7-18 and lived in 13 homes and I would say only 2 homes truly cared and sadly the rest cared about the money! They need to remember what a hard stressful and alone feeling this is during this time and how they can use some normalcy and family to help get through it. So they need to stop being selfish and act like a mature adult with the child’s best interests in mind.
I can SO relate to this. Had very similar issues with my foster sons...sisters foster parents. I ended up moving all the kids to my home and I’m so grateful I did.
It's about where they can find beds at the start of the case. After that, they try not to move the kids unless there's a problem because it's very difficult on the kids to bounce around.
Thora Friganza no, it means the foster families have to work together to get the kids to see each other as much as possible. The foster families have to put the kids first and not themselves or the money (which is a tiny amount in the first place).
This whole situation would be beyond frustrating! Between the other caregiver creating unnecessary barriers, and the system barriers in general, there’s a lot to manage. However, as a team you both have the same goals and it’s awesome to see you both so willing to fight for Miss A. and her siblings to be together. I love that you make it about the children and not what the adults want.
I feel bad for Miss A and her siblings but I'm glad they have you both to fight for them, even if it is difficult and frustrating. I hope you continue to do this for Miss A and other kids in the future, despite the issues you're having. The kids are lucky to have you both.
This speaks to my soul!!! As a new foster mom with two kiddos for 6 months now.... I am constantly the "bad guy". Im getting so mad that no one seems to care!! Thanks for being real :-)
Bless you.... for thinking the of the CHILDREN and the FAMILY first. So easy, just kids meeting, siblings. If my children were in foster care, I would as a family in crisis ... feel so lucky I have such a caring person caring for my child. Also my brothers, when my parents were divorcing, my brothers and I kept each other feeling like a family. We KNEW we were going to be together as a family no matter what.
I was in foster care for only 2 weeks then I got put in a permanent home and I’ve been there ever sense. Thank you for all the stuff you do. You change kids life’s. Even the little things.
As a child I was abused and spent time in a refuge when escaping. You are amazing for fighting for miss a. The child is the most important thing and if they are breaking the rules you have to stop it from happening. Miss A is so lucky to have u.
Thank you for advocating for the kids in your care (and those that aren't). I'm also a mandated reporter as a teacher and it is both the easiest and hardest thing in the world to make those phone calls but at the end of the day, its about the kids! You're doing an awesome job!! You've totally inspired me to look in to fostering here in Australia- I've got an info session coming up soon!
I can't imagine how frustrating it is when you need whatever it is and you have to call someone that calls someone to call someone else etc. It's like they make things difficult and don't really care bc once they make a call it's out of their hands. Your too are absolutely amazing though 💕
I'm sorry all of you had to deal with this especially the kid's. The Foster care system can be so broken. I dealt with this with my nieces when I was younger and it can be so stressful and heartbreaking. You all are doing a great job. Keep up the good work. I know Ms. A will always remember what you have done for her and the love you have shown.
Where Aunt Madea at? These people need a lesson in LOVE! Keep fighting the good fight, keep letting love shine! These children will never forget how much you guys fought for them.
I don’t know much about the foster care system so thank you for educating me by posting this video. I can’t believe the many hoops you have to jump through just to allow these siblings to have a sleep over! Hopefully what’s best for the kids is kept in the end ❤️
I have 6 adopted siblings from Foster Care. My Mother gave up on us LONG before we were adults. Her husband suddenly wanted children (she was in her late 50s) and adoption can be SUPER expensive. So not all people are in it for the right reasons. Thank you for being so Genuine ❤️
I Just love watching your channel and family. I live in Clermont County which is pretty close to you.I’m so glad you guys fight so hard for Miss. A to see her siblings❤️. My kids(12&9) half sister(15)was in foster care for three years and we only got to see her a few times.She was in foster care in Indiana. Thankfully now she is out of foster care and lives with her grandparents. We are able to see her on a regular basis and it’s amazing!! I see what happens to children when their siblings are taken away from them. It’s Devastating to witness. Keep fighting for Miss.A and ALL children in the Foster Care system. ❤️❤️
Ugh, how frustrating!! It’s nice to see your love for Ms A in how you fight for her and are clearly in her corner. Thanks again for sharing and I hope the siblings are able to have some really good together time soon! 💕
I feel so sorry for Ms. A. Being a former foster kid myself, but in the state of Wisconsin, make sure Ms. A looks into free college tuition for foster kids. She’s such a sweet girl and I see she will go far just like me.
Kids need someone to fight for them 💖 so even though it may feel unnecessary or frustrating Mrs. A knows her happiness is worth fighting for and that’ll make an impact on her
It's amazing the differences between the states and even counties! Here in Oklahoma, that kind of thing would fall under the prudent parenting standard, which is intended to "normalize" life for the youth in foster care. I had the oldest of a sibling set of 4. The second child was with a family only 15 minutes away. The two boys had multiple sleepovers and visits. The other family kept big brother for almost a week when I had a family tragedy and I kept little brother a couple weekends so they could go out of state. We got them together about once a week to see each other and the worker wasn't even involved in that. As for "respite" that's when we ask the agency to help find somewhere for the child to stay, but even with that, the foster parents usually just give cash to the respite provider when they pick up the kids.
It's hard enough that these kids have to be in care to begin with, and how adults who can't put their best interest first (NOT talking about Whitney and John, of course!) are making it even harder on them. So sad. Ya'll will be in my thoughts. And Whitney, it's not being the "bad guy." It's being the advocate. Don't let anyone make you feel that there is anything bad about it. (Also, we love you too, Darcy!)
Oh yeah, as a Boy Scout Leader and now a mandatory reporter I have some to say to you that I say to everyone who I report. “I don’t make the rules, but I sure as heck (more colorful word is used) follow them!”
@@teresayates332 Yep. I'm in school about a year away from becoming a teacher, and (even though I am not yet a teacher officially) I am now a mandatory reporter. I have not yet had to make a report, and it will hurt my heart so badly when I eventually have to, but it would hurt far worse if I didn't and should have.
@K M, Yes, it will break your heart, but not because you have to report...it’s what you have seen. Most of the time these kids have already been through so much bad. Now they place where they were told that they would be safe and drama free isn’t. It should be a prosecutable crime if YOU blatantly cause stress, anxiety to these babies. I know I’m over dramatic but as a survivor of child sexual abuse this triggers me! I don’t know anything about why Ms. A’s there but her and her siblings don’t deserve this. I’ll leave my soap box now.
I love how passionate you are and how determined you are to make sure these kids are getting together. Your family is truly so beautiful and inspiring 🖤
Thank you for the real-ness! We are newly approved foster parents (with 3 young bios) and are just waiting for a phone call for our first placement. It’s been amazing watching your journey and I appreciate you sharing your real journey- not just the fun parts.
You guys did so well. I totally get crazy stuff happening. I had a similar stupid situation happen when I was trying to sort out the unfair way I had been treated at a church. I had the pastor pretend he knew nothing about it when he totally did because he was involved. Then other avenues of sorting it didn't work and circular conversations went on and on and a simple solution would have been to just acknowledge what happened to me shouldn't have happened and life would have gone on. But I fought alone to get it sorted for my sake and anyone else who had been or might be in the future treated in similar ways. But nope. That couldn't get to such a simple place. So after 6 months of complete crazy I gave up and cut ties with that church. Maybe losing me made no difference to anyone at the church. But I still can relate to crazy situations in any aspect of life where a simple situation can be overly complicated and people involved can cause issues for no good reason. What I have learnt is it will do your head in if you try to work out why someone acts in an illogical way.
Bless you... as a foster parent, I feel your pain. I have been fairly lucky with my case worker, but dealing with the red tape is tough. Fight the good fight
As a foster family I totally understand the foster system being frustrating and unproductive. Also the kids need be the first priority. So sorry that you had to go through this.
We have had similar issues with $ over other caregivers and can’t figure out how they are in it for the money, but seems very clear that they are. 😢love how open and authentic how you are with your experience!
I just found your videos. Makes sure to always get everything in writing. We had a case worker claim they never approved visits with siblings even though it was happening for months. We had emails and notes in their monthly team meetings showing he approved this. Always get everything in writing!!!
I wish you would have been my sister’s foster parents. My dad adopted her, and she went through so much abuse and neglect. I’m so proud of her for becoming such an amazing young woman. My dad didn’t adopt her sisters and transitioning to adulthood has been difficult for them. I’m proud of all of them because they WILL prevail despite the trauma.
My first time watching you guys and I did sub! I subbed bc I can clearly see that you're in it for the right reasons and you truly care about these kiddos! My sisters and I were in Foster homes more than once so this would be my connection. I wanted to Foster or actually Adopt but my health became an issue so I couldn't do it. I just want to say THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU who Foster because you TRULY DO care about these little souls! It's a frightening place to be in. Being taken from your home is bad enough but being separated from your siblings can be a terrifying experience. May God Bless and Keep Each of these lil children and Each Foster Parent who comes to the rescue of these more often than not broken and damaged children. You are Appreciated and Loved by the children that come through your homes...Please know this. ;)
This is terrible! I’m so sorry to you and Miss A. It’s unfortunate that they couldn’t just make it work when you were trying to do what’s best for the children.
I was 3 when I went into foster care . I was with 1 of my siblings For a few months, they paired us off into different places but we only saw each other every few months. Then my sister was taken to another foster family and I was left while two of my brothers also moved half way across the country. I was then moved on and we were only able to see each other once a year and that was only 7 of 11 of us that could go that. None of us were ever allowed to decide who we were put with. I’m 26 now and I hardly ever see them, only one of them I’m close with because he lives only an hour away from me. It definitely effected us because we’d become each other’s comfort in our abusive home and to not have each other gave us all ptsd and anxiety. We’ve all been through years of therapy. Social workers and some foster careers are actually terrible.
The kids should always come first. Always!!! Miss A and her family have been through enough if they aren’t supporting the family they need to be fostering
I can clearly tell you both are very amazing foster parents and good people! The other caregiver is giving me a sense that they’re like the terrible foster parent stories. Your reporting may actually save children from abuse. Those that shake up the system, make the changes ❣️
I'm proud of you guys for fighting the right fight for those kids who need to be together. I lost a friend because I reported certain issues but I know I did the right thing. Never be afraid to be the bad guy we all have to be sometimes.
It's so sad that a system that is there to help and protect children turns into the thing that hurts them and stops the healing. Keep doing what you are doing. I know it's exhausting to fight a system that you shouldn't have to be fighting, but as you said you are doing this for the kids not for yourself or the other adults involved.
I am so sorry Miss A and her brother don't get to have their sleep over, but like they say don't mess with Mama Bear!! You are doing right by these kiddos even though it is hard. Thanks again for sharing your side and experience. I hope and pray the other hearts are softened.
As soon as you said respite I cringed! And knew it financially motivated! That's so foul! Thank you for sharing this experience and putting up with everyone involved!
I’m so sorry you guys are going through this but just know that you’re doing the right things for the right reasons and it’s beautiful to watch how much you care about not only Miss A but all the kids and report what you need to. I can’t imagine how frustrating it is but I’m frustrated for you and Miss A. I hope it gets better soon and hopefully that caregiver will be reprimanded for this. It’s not right that she’s mad at you for doing exactly what you have to and protecting the kids. You are the good guys and I can’t believe that all the others are frustrated that you’re trying to get the kids together. They seem to all be not doing fostering for the right reasons.... Hope you guys are ok x sending love from Australia (we love you too Darcy)
Foster Mom here too! The system is broken and does NOT always put the kid’s best interest first. 😫 I don’t understand why things like this can be so friggin’ hard sometimes. Ugh. I wish our county would let us talk about our foster experience publicly like this! Does your agency know about your channel?
So, basically, the brother's caregiver won't agree to the overnight because they would lose the money for those days?? Unbelievable!! Some people are doing this for the wrong reasons. Thank you for standing up for what is right.
You guys are so great! Every time I watch your videos I think..."we should be friends! " Just wanted to throw some positivity at you! thanks for being you.
U guys are great dont let the system stop u guys from being great foster family you and john are seriously very great humans and I hope I can be half a great as u guys
That is really sad! That care giver is not doing it for the right reason! And then should not be doing it at all! It is about the kids like you say! That is heart breaking the kids get hurt in the end! So sorry Miss A snd her sibling do not get their over night visit! They were both most likely looking forward to it! Just because of one greedy, hateful caregiver two children are hurt! So glad you fight for them! And also turn in things you should!! The kids come first not that nasty caregiver!!
You are not the bad guy! People who are passionate about something and want to create change will always bug people who are so stuck in their ways like Miss A’s brothers foster family. I keep forgetting that there are foster families that don’t care about their kids as much as you do. That “Grudge” is just childish and I am just so sorry that this is affecting Miss A and her brother. What I’m trying to say is thank you for being the “bad guy” and caring so deeply for these kids well being! ❤️
Do they even attempt to keep siblings together? Until that possibility exhausted should they split siblings. Removed from home and parents then split from siblings.. that is a true trauma. A kid mind could handle removal from danger but separation from siblings would truly cause dissonance and trauma. You guys are amazing and are creating change I can feel it.. your influence is getting into areas and places that will never fully be realized but I feel it happening.. “you have to do right cause right is right” 👍🏿🤝🙏
It’s hard getting foster parents for one kid much less siblings.lack of resources. It would be easier for a pair of siblings but usually the more siblings the harder it is to keep them together.(this is all from what I’ve heard from people in foster care/are foster parents)
i can tell you i have to go through the foster system in florida in 2018 for a year and they didnt try at all to keep my children together , on the contray i wanted to scream and cry so hard because of it ... they took my oldest and shipped him and his brother off to miami while my youngest stayed here , they took my middle child and brought him to punta gorda leaving my oldest in miami and pissing off the lawyers . then finally they took and allowed my oldest to be moved across the state from us in orlando , so in order to get our children together for visits i had to drive 5 hours one way picking them up and 5 hours another way to drop them off but it was the only time my children could see each other and we decided to take that time as a family ( we had a choice do the once a week for all 3 or seprate for all 3 and they wouldnt see each other until they got moved closer to us ) all of this just broke my heart and i know it broke my kids hearts but we made it through ..... my oldest current has ptsd as well as my middle but his is non verbal and autustic .
Your the bad guys to the bad people but the good guys to the good people More than anything you’re the great children of God who are making Him proud. This is just a small point in time in all of eternity. You are gaining so many blessings from heaven -smile, keep your head up, everything’s gonna work itself out for good. You’re doing some thing bigger and better for this family that will benefit all their lives forever. Thank you for doing what your doing ❤️
Thank you, I know you are right. And we are a non religious/spiritual home, supporting any child and the religion/spirituality they are apart of. At the same time, we continue to know and do what is right because we understand the responsibility we have to these kids, the families, and the community.
People before pesos. Always. People before pesos. Sounds to me like this may not be the case with the other caregiver.🤦🏻♀️ I'm so sorry. What a sucky situation. You are good people, John and Whit. Miss A must be so disappointed not to have this time with her brother. ☹️ I'm sorry, guys.
You guys really are the best, and truly have the kids best interest at heart!! You have inspired me to when I’m an adult to foster and give kids the same experience ❤️
I so feel you! I have had issues with siblings foster parents. We finally feel like they are in good homes. The workers seek my input on the siblings caregivers.
Well, seems to me this “caregiver” should NOT be allowed to be a “caregiver”. Sadly, there are those in Foster Care for the money and not the kids. You are 100% correct! It’s about the kids; not the adults. What is best for the kids? Then do it.
Yes, I had family members who did it for the money. Makes me so sad for these children.
Oh yes. Lots are in it for the money. Which is clearly not a thing for this family. I wish they could have been foster parents for me for a short bit. My foster family was great, but I had tough teenage years. Could have used a respite with these guys!
That’s so ridiculous!
🤦🏻♀️ The money isn’t even enough to be worth it if that’s your only motive.
If you’re meeting the child’s needs as you should be, there’s really not much leftover, so why?
"Whose needs!? Those brats are lucky I took them in. A bowl of cereal, worn down clothes and a garbage bag are enough for them. They're needs? What about me!? I have to be compensated for my troubles!"
@@monicarodrigues985 Please tell me you're not serious. 😊
Do not offer to pay that caregiver. She does not like you. She can turn that around to hurt you. Think trafficking. Do not offer an exchange of money, so you do not get in trouble.
Fair point.
Just hearing this hurts my heart for Miss A and her brother. As for the other foster parent, I realize that no one likes being called out, but not having a child buckled into a proper, age-appropriate seat belt is beyond outrageous. You did the right thing, and also attempted to do it as circumspectly as possible. Truth is, *you guys* are the ones who have the right to be angry if another parent puts you in the position of even *needing* to report safety risks, abuse, or any other potentially dangerous situation for children in their care! Sorry. I shouldn’t even get started here, so I’ll just end with, “Thank you for being a conscientious advocate for children in general and for Miss B, specifically, as your foster child.”
Oops, meant Miss A.
I agree. Sometimes the other parent will probably just “know,” though, or strongly suspect. Hard to keep the shock off your face when seeing a toddler in a car who’s not buckled into an appropriate 3-point safety seat.
Bios, caseworkers, and foster parents need car seat training, I’ve seen all be super negligent with car seats
When I was a private foster care case worker, I was always the “bad worker” according to our local DHHR because I was more concerned with how the kids felt/wanted than how the county workers felt. I don’t care if a case workers feelings are hurt for a few minutes, I do care if a bad placement causes even more trauma to a child though! (luckily I write policy now !!)
Way to move up and make a difference! My husband used to be a case worker and he ended up changing jobs because he couldn't handle how bad the system was and to him the changes weren't being made.
Good for you!!
foster mom also : this will continue to be an issue, in our county hearings are every 3 months & you only get the judges attention for a minute... when I advocate for my foster baby’s best interest (visits with his sisters) I ask his GAL to add it to the court order. For example miss A’s brother gets 2 overnights each month with his sister at your home. Then it’s not respite care & doesn’t effect “her” Per-diem. I don’t apologize for being a mama bear for my foster anymore than I would for my bio’s! I love him like he’s mine & fight for him like he’s mine ...until he’s not.
some states will not do it that way
You guys are the best bad guys I've ever seen! Hope things work out. Sending hugs for you guys and Miss A.
Thank you so much!
I’m so glad you shared this because that goes to show some people are just in this for the money. That other caregiver should be removed from the program permanently! But there is already a shortage of foster homes that she will stay. It’s why foster care gets the bad rap it does.....I could go on and on.
I hear you!
After the premiere ended, I had to go back & watch it again. I want to tell you from my own childhood experience, those kids (Miss A) can see your heart, & I guarantee you, she will never, ever forget your love & kindness!! I haven't forgotten someone that came to my rescue, took good care of me & genuinely showed me a love I had never seen before & never experienced again. Those two weeks with those people will forever hold a very special place in my heart & I was only 9 yrs old then & am now 60 & just never will forget their special love!!! I guarantee you, Miss A will never forget yours!!! Thank you SO MUCH for being sunshine on the cloudy days for her!!😘💞
Whitney & John, continue to advocate! That caregiver needs to soul search and decide if she’s in it for the kids or the money. Like you, I will always advocate for my kiddos, even if I piss off caseworkers. Just a suggestion, if you haven’t already, write an email to all the people who were involved in this. It creates the dreaded paper trail, but forces caseworkers to admit. Also CC their supervisors. I’m at 15 years fostering and once it’s in writing, caseworkers have to do their jobs. Add in what you saw with caregiver. I email all my updates and my worker will usually phone me to talk about it. Foster care is supposed to be about the kids, but sometimes it’s about who is lazy in note taking and who isn’t. I email updates on my kiddos every Monday; it can be a long or short update, but it’s all in writing. Keep up the great work you’re doing. ❤️
As someone who works in the mental health field and deals with social workers on a regular basis, I highly recommend emailing as a constant form of communication-not phone calls. Leave a paper trail and also CC the SW’s supervisor on important or controversial situations.
It’s amazing the power that CC’ing their supervisors has.
I wish there were more people like you both in this world. You are most certainly NOT the bad guys....like you said you have to do what is right by the kids ...period. I hope things get better for your situation for Miss A's sake & she is so lucky to have ya'll!
Wow I’m so concerned about Miss A’s siblings now I hope they’re alright and safe with their caregivers
There is no immediate concern, otherwise... I'd have reported it lol.
I was in Foster care for about 6 months and my foster parents made sure I seen my brother (he’s of age so it wasn’t as hard to arrange) he cried and told her how grateful he was that they were so good to me. (He was only 18 so they wouldn’t let him have me) We still go to church with them. They will always be a part of my story, I will never forget the love and kindness they showed me when I was so scared.
No good deed goes unpunished. You guys are great, and it's great to see a mandated reporter actually reporting what they're supposed to report. Many don't. I'm sorry for your frustrations but I'm glad you have each other to lean on.
I am glad your pushing for the kids to be together. You are Awesome foster parents
You said it all and this is why the foster care system fails. They don’t want you to make things good for the kids they want it to suck. When you try they make it so stressful eventually you get worn out!!! However please continue to fight for what’s right!!! You got a large community behind you!!!
I want to say as a 16 year old that hasn't seen one sister since I was 11, and haven't seen two other sisters since October (their mom wont let me cuz I spoke up about what life was like living with her) it makes me happy to see foster parents fighting to give siblings that time. I live with my grandma(should be in foster care but the case workers are already overloaded they don't have the space to put me anywhere, so I'm here) and she doesn't care about whether or not I see my sisters. She finds it annoying that I still get upset knowing that I'm not allowed to be around them because of distance (the case of the first sibling) or because the abusers don't like that I spoke up. Hopefully this issue is resolved soon, and that woman does seem to only be interested in money, which is sad.
So sorry that you can relate to this.
Hang in there, my dear, things will get better 💙 I don’t know when, but some day.
I am so sorry...
@@BeTheVillageCommunity it's alright! I'm working to get myself emancipated, I've had family members, and friends supporting me getting emancipated. I'm hoping to not be here by Christmas
@@natalieh1950 Have you taken a look at Job Corps? You can live on their campuses and get job training and education. If you look into it and apply now, you might be able to get in whether or not you are emancipated. Job skills etc will help prove your emancipation case. Make sure you have your ID, birth certificate and social security card before you leave your current situation! Good luck!!!!
Whitney, I was present when my cousin's young son died after a car accident. The picture of him ln the hospital bed, with his sweet little head wrapped up, is emblazoned on my heart. You absolutely did the right thing in reporting the car seat. To anyone reading this that ever has care over a child, please, please, hear my plea and NEVER drive without having the child properly restrained. It's just not worth the risk, for any reason.
I just wanted to say thank you for
Truly caring about the kids in your care. Miss A is very lucky to have such caring, amazing foster parents. I was in foster care from 7-18 and lived in 13 homes and I would say only 2 homes truly cared and sadly the rest cared about the money! They need to remember what a hard stressful and alone feeling this is during this time and how they can use some normalcy and family to help get through it. So they need to stop being selfish and act like a mature adult with the child’s best interests in mind.
This is why many kids suffer in the system....because people don't speak up for the kids! Thank you for standing up for the kids🥰
I can SO relate to this. Had very similar issues with my foster sons...sisters foster parents. I ended up moving all the kids to my home and I’m so grateful I did.
You guys are the best bad guys ever! May you be blessed for advocating for the children and the abundance of love that you give!
Why has there not been more done to get the kids less spaced out and in fewer homes?
Oh this question has a complicated answer. Welcome to foster care is the quick one.
@Thora Friganza it's hard to keep large cross age sibling groups together.
It's about where they can find beds at the start of the case. After that, they try not to move the kids unless there's a problem because it's very difficult on the kids to bounce around.
Thora Friganza no, it means the foster families have to work together to get the kids to see each other as much as possible. The foster families have to put the kids first and not themselves or the money (which is a tiny amount in the first place).
Many families won’t take multiple children ..
This whole situation would be beyond frustrating! Between the other caregiver creating unnecessary barriers, and the system barriers in general, there’s a lot to manage. However, as a team you both have the same goals and it’s awesome to see you both so willing to fight for Miss A. and her siblings to be together. I love that you make it about the children and not what the adults want.
I feel bad for Miss A and her siblings but I'm glad they have you both to fight for them, even if it is difficult and frustrating. I hope you continue to do this for Miss A and other kids in the future, despite the issues you're having. The kids are lucky to have you both.
This speaks to my soul!!! As a new foster mom with two kiddos for 6 months now.... I am constantly the "bad guy". Im getting so mad that no one seems to care!! Thanks for being real :-)
How does that caregiver even still have her job if she put a child in danger like that? Wow.
God bless you guys,for real!!! Miss A will never forget what you have done for her......EVER
God Girl I WISH We Could Have More People Like You!!!! We need more people that care like u 2 do
Bless you.... for thinking the of the CHILDREN and the FAMILY first. So easy, just kids meeting, siblings. If my children were in foster care, I would as a family in crisis ... feel so lucky I have such a caring person caring for my child. Also my brothers, when my parents were divorcing, my brothers and I kept each other feeling like a family. We KNEW we were going to be together as a family no matter what.
I was in foster care for only 2 weeks then I got put in a permanent home and I’ve been there ever sense. Thank you for all the stuff you do. You change kids life’s. Even the little things.
Sending love and prayers to your family
You are a good person and are looking out for all those children. And we do not have enough people like you in this world. You are awesome.
You continue to do the right thing for Miss A. She is lucky to have you❤️. Thank you for fighting for the children ❤️
As a child I was abused and spent time in a refuge when escaping. You are amazing for fighting for miss a. The child is the most important thing and if they are breaking the rules you have to stop it from happening. Miss A is so lucky to have u.
And they wonder why there are not enough foster family....THIS IS WHY!! Thank you for sharing.
pop OFF! i’m currently watching and i appreciate y’all for being honest about what happens behind the scenes
Makes me so happy you can still have an informative channel without exploiting your children
Thank you for advocating for the kids in your care (and those that aren't). I'm also a mandated reporter as a teacher and it is both the easiest and hardest thing in the world to make those phone calls but at the end of the day, its about the kids! You're doing an awesome job!! You've totally inspired me to look in to fostering here in Australia- I've got an info session coming up soon!
Yes!!
I can't imagine how frustrating it is when you need whatever it is and you have to call someone that calls someone to call someone else etc. It's like they make things difficult and don't really care bc once they make a call it's out of their hands. Your too are absolutely amazing though 💕
I'm sorry all of you had to deal with this especially the kid's. The Foster care system can be so broken. I dealt with this with my nieces when I was younger and it can be so stressful and heartbreaking. You all are doing a great job. Keep up the good work. I know Ms. A will always remember what you have done for her and the love you have shown.
Where Aunt Madea at?
These people need a lesson in LOVE!
Keep fighting the good fight, keep letting love shine! These children will never forget how much you guys fought for them.
I don’t know much about the foster care system so thank you for educating me by posting this video. I can’t believe the many hoops you have to jump through just to allow these siblings to have a sleep over! Hopefully what’s best for the kids is kept in the end ❤️
I have 6 adopted siblings from Foster Care. My Mother gave up on us LONG before we were adults. Her husband suddenly wanted children (she was in her late 50s) and adoption can be SUPER expensive. So not all people are in it for the right reasons. Thank you for being so Genuine ❤️
We love you for all that you do for all this kids ❤️❤️❤️
I Just love watching your channel and family. I live in Clermont County which is pretty close to you.I’m so glad you guys fight so hard for Miss. A to see her siblings❤️. My kids(12&9) half sister(15)was in foster care for three years and we only got to see her a few times.She was in foster care in Indiana. Thankfully now she is out of foster care and lives with her grandparents. We are able to see her on a regular basis and it’s amazing!! I see what happens to children when their siblings are taken away from them. It’s Devastating to witness. Keep fighting for Miss.A and ALL children in the Foster Care system. ❤️❤️
Ugh, how frustrating!! It’s nice to see your love for Ms A in how you fight for her and are clearly in her corner. Thanks again for sharing and I hope the siblings are able to have some really good together time soon! 💕
I feel so sorry for Ms. A. Being a former foster kid myself, but in the state of Wisconsin, make sure Ms. A looks into free college tuition for foster kids. She’s such a sweet girl and I see she will go far just like me.
Kids need someone to fight for them 💖 so even though it may feel unnecessary or frustrating Mrs. A knows her happiness is worth fighting for and that’ll make an impact on her
You can never underestimate how selfish/greedy/lazy other people can be. I feel bad for those kids. Keep doing what you’re doing! ❤️💪🏼👊🏻
Thanks for sharing your story and working so hard for Miss A.
unrelated but the way you guys look at each other is so sweet and loving :)
Good for you guys. Need more people like YOU two in foster system
You can’t please everyone. You have the heart for fostering; not everyone does. God bless you.
Makes me mad..so glad my great grandmother took me and my siblings when I was little....God bless grandparents..and GOOD foster care
It's amazing the differences between the states and even counties! Here in Oklahoma, that kind of thing would fall under the prudent parenting standard, which is intended to "normalize" life for the youth in foster care.
I had the oldest of a sibling set of 4. The second child was with a family only 15 minutes away. The two boys had multiple sleepovers and visits. The other family kept big brother for almost a week when I had a family tragedy and I kept little brother a couple weekends so they could go out of state. We got them together about once a week to see each other and the worker wasn't even involved in that.
As for "respite" that's when we ask the agency to help find somewhere for the child to stay, but even with that, the foster parents usually just give cash to the respite provider when they pick up the kids.
It's hard enough that these kids have to be in care to begin with, and how adults who can't put their best interest first (NOT talking about Whitney and John, of course!) are making it even harder on them. So sad. Ya'll will be in my thoughts. And Whitney, it's not being the "bad guy." It's being the advocate. Don't let anyone make you feel that there is anything bad about it. (Also, we love you too, Darcy!)
Thank you for reminding me that being an advocate is being the bad guy, and there is nothing wrong with that.
@@BeTheVillageCommunity Nothing wrong at all. It's what you're supposed to do, in fact!
Oh yeah, as a Boy Scout Leader and now a mandatory reporter I have some to say to you that I say to everyone who I report. “I don’t make the rules, but I sure as heck (more colorful word is used) follow them!”
@@teresayates332 Yep. I'm in school about a year away from becoming a teacher, and (even though I am not yet a teacher officially) I am now a mandatory reporter. I have not yet had to make a report, and it will hurt my heart so badly when I eventually have to, but it would hurt far worse if I didn't and should have.
@K M, Yes, it will break your heart, but not because you have to report...it’s what you have seen. Most of the time these kids have already been through so much bad. Now they place where they were told that they would be safe and drama free isn’t. It should be a prosecutable crime if YOU blatantly cause stress, anxiety to these babies. I know I’m over dramatic but as a survivor of child sexual abuse this triggers me! I don’t know anything about why Ms. A’s there but her and her siblings don’t deserve this. I’ll leave my soap box now.
I worked in child care for about a year and it is exactly what you say. All about the adults and very rarely about the kids; which is unfortunate.
I love how passionate you are and how determined you are to make sure these kids are getting together. Your family is truly so beautiful and inspiring 🖤
Thank you for the real-ness! We are newly approved foster parents (with 3 young bios) and are just waiting for a phone call for our first placement. It’s been amazing watching your journey and I appreciate you sharing your real journey- not just the fun parts.
Best of luck to you!!
You guys did so well. I totally get crazy stuff happening. I had a similar stupid situation happen when I was trying to sort out the unfair way I had been treated at a church. I had the pastor pretend he knew nothing about it when he totally did because he was involved. Then other avenues of sorting it didn't work and circular conversations went on and on and a simple solution would have been to just acknowledge what happened to me shouldn't have happened and life would have gone on. But I fought alone to get it sorted for my sake and anyone else who had been or might be in the future treated in similar ways. But nope. That couldn't get to such a simple place. So after 6 months of complete crazy I gave up and cut ties with that church. Maybe losing me made no difference to anyone at the church. But I still can relate to crazy situations in any aspect of life where a simple situation can be overly complicated and people involved can cause issues for no good reason. What I have learnt is it will do your head in if you try to work out why someone acts in an illogical way.
Bless you... as a foster parent, I feel your pain. I have been fairly lucky with my case worker, but dealing with the red tape is tough. Fight the good fight
This reminds me of the movie -it takes two-! Bless y’all for doing what you do!
As a foster family I totally understand the foster system being frustrating and unproductive. Also the kids need be the first priority. So sorry that you had to go through this.
We have had similar issues with $ over other caregivers and can’t figure out how they are in it for the money, but seems very clear that they are. 😢love how open and authentic how you are with your experience!
I just found your videos. Makes sure to always get everything in writing. We had a case worker claim they never approved visits with siblings even though it was happening for months. We had emails and notes in their monthly team meetings showing he approved this. Always get everything in writing!!!
When you said this is a fight worth fighting so true and it can be hard but the way you put it I will defiantly be writing it down as a reminder
So much for putting the kids first. Shame on them.
I wish you would have been my sister’s foster parents. My dad adopted her, and she went through so much abuse and neglect. I’m so proud of her for becoming such an amazing young woman. My dad didn’t adopt her sisters and transitioning to adulthood has been difficult for them. I’m proud of all of them because they WILL prevail despite the trauma.
It’s really sad when adults make the child suffer for an issue they have with another adult
You guys are doing good work! Keep doing it! These kids need more like you! The system is broken and its people like you who can fix it!
I wish you were able to take all the siblings or some of them. You guys are doing great.
My first time watching you guys and I did sub! I subbed bc I can clearly see that you're in it for the right reasons and you truly care about these kiddos! My sisters and I were in Foster homes more than once so this would be my connection. I wanted to Foster or actually Adopt but my health became an issue so I couldn't do it. I just want to say THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU who Foster because you TRULY DO care about these little souls! It's a frightening place to be in. Being taken from your home is bad enough but being separated from your siblings can be a terrifying experience. May God Bless and Keep Each of these lil children and Each Foster Parent who comes to the rescue of these more often than not broken and damaged children. You are Appreciated and Loved by the children that come through your homes...Please know this. ;)
This is terrible! I’m so sorry to you and Miss A. It’s unfortunate that they couldn’t just make it work when you were trying to do what’s best for the children.
I was 3 when I went into foster care . I was with 1 of my siblings For a few months, they paired us off into different places but we only saw each other every few months. Then my sister was taken to another foster family and I was left while two of my brothers also moved half way across the country. I was then moved on and we were only able to see each other once a year and that was only 7 of 11 of us that could go that. None of us were ever allowed to decide who we were put with. I’m 26 now and I hardly ever see them, only one of them I’m close with because he lives only an hour away from me. It definitely effected us because we’d become each other’s comfort in our abusive home and to not have each other gave us all ptsd and anxiety. We’ve all been through years of therapy. Social workers and some foster careers are actually terrible.
The kids should always come first. Always!!! Miss A and her family have been through enough if they aren’t supporting the family they need to be fostering
You guys are amazing there needs to be more people in the world like you!
That’s so sad that y’all want the best but everyone around you is not making it happen for selfish reasons. Y’all are caring & not selfish ❤️
I can clearly tell you both are very amazing foster parents and good people! The other caregiver is giving me a sense that they’re like the terrible foster parent stories. Your reporting may actually save children from abuse. Those that shake up the system, make the changes ❣️
You guys are literally gold. ❤️
I'm proud of you guys for fighting the right fight for those kids who need to be together. I lost a friend because I reported certain issues but I know I did the right thing. Never be afraid to be the bad guy we all have to be sometimes.
It's so sad that a system that is there to help and protect children turns into the thing that hurts them and stops the healing. Keep doing what you are doing. I know it's exhausting to fight a system that you shouldn't have to be fighting, but as you said you are doing this for the kids not for yourself or the other adults involved.
I am so sorry Miss A and her brother don't get to have their sleep over, but like they say don't mess with Mama Bear!! You are doing right by these kiddos even though it is hard. Thanks again for sharing your side and experience. I hope and pray the other hearts are softened.
As soon as you said respite I cringed! And knew it financially motivated! That's so foul! Thank you for sharing this experience and putting up with everyone involved!
I’m so sorry you guys are going through this but just know that you’re doing the right things for the right reasons and it’s beautiful to watch how much you care about not only Miss A but all the kids and report what you need to. I can’t imagine how frustrating it is but I’m frustrated for you and Miss A. I hope it gets better soon and hopefully that caregiver will be reprimanded for this. It’s not right that she’s mad at you for doing exactly what you have to and protecting the kids. You are the good guys and I can’t believe that all the others are frustrated that you’re trying to get the kids together. They seem to all be not doing fostering for the right reasons.... Hope you guys are ok x sending love from Australia (we love you too Darcy)
Foster Mom here too! The system is broken and does NOT always put the kid’s best interest first. 😫 I don’t understand why things like this can be so friggin’ hard sometimes. Ugh. I wish our county would let us talk about our foster experience publicly like this! Does your agency know about your channel?
So, basically, the brother's caregiver won't agree to the overnight because they would lose the money for those days?? Unbelievable!! Some people are doing this for the wrong reasons. Thank you for standing up for what is right.
You guys are so great! Every time I watch your videos I think..."we should be friends! " Just wanted to throw some positivity at you! thanks for being you.
You guys are awesome . Keep doing what you are doing
U guys are great dont let the system stop u guys from being great foster family you and john are seriously very great humans and I hope I can be half a great as u guys
That is really sad! That care giver is not doing it for the right reason! And then should not be doing it at all! It is about the kids like you say! That is heart breaking the kids get hurt in the end! So sorry Miss A snd her sibling do not get their over night visit! They were both most likely looking forward to it! Just because of one greedy, hateful caregiver two children are hurt! So glad you fight for them! And also turn in things you should!! The kids come first not that nasty caregiver!!
I stopped fostering because of issues like this is stay strong guys
You are not the bad guy! People who are passionate about something and want to create change will always bug people who are so stuck in their ways like Miss A’s brothers foster family. I keep forgetting that there are foster families that don’t care about their kids as much as you do. That “Grudge” is just childish and I am just so sorry that this is affecting Miss A and her brother.
What I’m trying to say is thank you for being the “bad guy” and caring so deeply for these kids well being! ❤️
Do they even attempt to keep siblings together? Until that possibility exhausted should they split siblings. Removed from home and parents then split from siblings.. that is a true trauma. A kid mind could handle removal from danger but separation from siblings would truly cause dissonance and trauma. You guys are amazing and are creating change I can feel it.. your influence is getting into areas and places that will never fully be realized but I feel it happening.. “you have to do right cause right is right”
👍🏿🤝🙏
It’s hard getting foster parents for one kid much less siblings.lack of resources. It would be easier for a pair of siblings but usually the more siblings the harder it is to keep them together.(this is all from what I’ve heard from people in foster care/are foster parents)
i can tell you i have to go through the foster system in florida in 2018 for a year and they didnt try at all to keep my children together , on the contray i wanted to scream and cry so hard because of it ... they took my oldest and shipped him and his brother off to miami while my youngest stayed here , they took my middle child and brought him to punta gorda leaving my oldest in miami and pissing off the lawyers . then finally they took and allowed my oldest to be moved across the state from us in orlando , so in order to get our children together for visits i had to drive 5 hours one way picking them up and 5 hours another way to drop them off but it was the only time my children could see each other and we decided to take that time as a family ( we had a choice do the once a week for all 3 or seprate for all 3 and they wouldnt see each other until they got moved closer to us ) all of this just broke my heart and i know it broke my kids hearts but we made it through ..... my oldest current has ptsd as well as my middle but his is non verbal and autustic .
Your the bad guys to the bad people but the good guys to the good people
More than anything you’re the great children of God who are making Him proud.
This is just a small point in time in all of eternity. You are gaining so many blessings from heaven -smile, keep your head up, everything’s gonna work itself out for good.
You’re doing some thing bigger and better for this family that will benefit all their lives forever. Thank you for doing what your doing ❤️
Thank you, I know you are right. And we are a non religious/spiritual home, supporting any child and the religion/spirituality they are apart of. At the same time, we continue to know and do what is right because we understand the responsibility we have to these kids, the families, and the community.
People before pesos. Always. People before pesos. Sounds to me like this may not be the case with the other caregiver.🤦🏻♀️
I'm so sorry. What a sucky situation.
You are good people, John and Whit.
Miss A must be so disappointed not to have this time with her brother. ☹️
I'm sorry, guys.
You guys really are the best, and truly have the kids best interest at heart!! You have inspired me to when I’m an adult to foster and give kids the same experience ❤️
I so feel you! I have had issues with siblings foster parents. We finally feel like they are in good homes. The workers seek my input on the siblings caregivers.
If you ever want to chat. I very much understand this.
I am a foster kid, Thank you for doing what you do
Wish more people would do it for the kids, You guys are amazing!!
Why else WOULD you do it, right?