You called it-Ryan played the race card against Clara!!! He asks to be paired with a white woman, and now complains that she did not understand Black culture?! Well, eating soul food ain’t it. There is no monolithic Black experience. And, in any family, the one from that family should facilitate entree of the person who is being newly introduced. Ryan always struck me as superficial and quirky. He wore Black-themed t-shirts on the show to passively communicate who he was after having stated a preference for white women. When the issue of feelings came up, he always changed the subject. He didn’t like it that she revealed that she was doing him and he was doing nothing for her. He LOOKED like a deer caught in the headlights wearing a yellow bow tie on DDay when he said Yes. They were obviously mismatched, so if “life outlook and religion” were dealbreakers he should have said NO. Then they announce on the reunion their plans to have a large wedding. Then days before announcing they’re done, he convinces her to LIE along with him about having had sex all along. See where this is going? No Where-fer sure! Ryan IS immature, superficial, passive aggressive and isn’t clear about who he wants to be when he grows up. Glad he backed out, because Clara’s neediness led her to minimize important red flags that this relationship was headed nowhere💯❗️We ain’t mad at em and don’t need an ‘explanation?’
Ryan the type who will Always find Fault Because he is a Perfectionist & has a hard time accepting his own flaws, so it will be that much harder Accepting them in others
Ryan portrays himself like a white man, but gets angry when his white wife doesn't understand "black America (culture)"? LOL But I think Virginia made some good points. If you're gonna date interracially, it is up to you to teach, train, explain all the nuances of your culture.
Me too. I'm not a Virginia fan but she's not stupid. Out there & extra but not stupid. I totally got her point. You can read all the books you want on race but if your circle is one color...
He wanted a white girl but was not ready for a girl like Clara. Shes wayyy too outspoken and spicy for him. I dont feel bad for him...if he wanted the "black experience," he shouldve valued black woman and black love from the start. Thats what he gets!
Ryan and Zach are similar. They both have zero self awareness. How is Ryan, someone who is purposely hiding his own blkness, calling out his white wife for not understanding or appreciating the nuances of the blk experience? How sway?
Ryan has identity issues. He knows he's black, feels uncomfortable in his skin and wears T-shirts and saturates himself in knowledge to prove he is confident in his skin. However, this may sound unimportant; however, when Clara went to his neat house and opened the cupboards to broken shelves, junky disorganized drawers SAID ALOT OF WHO RYAN IS, the inside of those cupboards and drawers described the inner Ryan. He puts up an organized, ideal outer, but is opposite or unresolved/disorganized inside. Ryan needs, as we all, to seriously, 🤲🏼 and get his spiritual self in order through Christ Jesus, inorder to find peace and stability. It's not about impressing people on the outside; it is where will I spend eternity. 2 Corinthians 6:2. KJV.
Ryan absolutely played the race card. He was just trying to get ahead of Clara's calling him out on his shat and just NOW decides race is the issue..humm then stick to your race. Boy bye!
Ryan knew that by making Clary look like an uncaring white women that he could get certain fans to take his side. But a black man that doesn’t date black women won’t get any sympathy from me. I’m looking forward to seeing the other side of the story. Because I damn sure don’t buy his BS.
The thing about Ryan is he specifically wanted a white woman so whilst I here some of what he has to say…..he also should know that having a white partner will never be the same as having someone from your race. And Clara doesn’t strike me as the type to be insensitive towards race and culture 🤷♀️
Year Ryan is an idiot and now he's just making us black men look bad. You don't agree to an arranged to a stranger, desire a different race, and then hope they just accept everything that the people within your culture are still dealing with. He's talking about black issues but ran from the race to marry outside it. He's an idiot
Ryan reminds me of Matt James (from the Bachelor) who went on and on about the black experience and understanding what it’s like to be a black man in America, only to choose a white woman and one with a history of racial insensitivity. Smh
@@dorothymonroe So true. An example of this is the difference between how the Breonna Taylor and George Floyd protests were handled. Black men (and their white women) did not show up for Breonna demanding justice in the same way they did for George Floyd. Both very worthy of the same energy and support.
Ryan has issues that has nothing to do with Clare. Mainly his identity issues if he could fully assimilate he would. He wears the t- shirts so you won’t question his muttonchops.
I liked how Virginia clocked him. She was basically like “we know what type of black man you are” and when the White women start peeping those types for who they are you KNOW theirs a paradigm shift going on lolllll
I just think if these issues are so important to Ryan, it seems that allowing tv producers to choose your wife isn't the way to go. If I remember correctly, Ryan never said I love you to anyone woman. I think he may be too picky. He didn't like Clara from jump, and as he got to know her, he really disliked her.
And carried himself like a white man...I remember seeing his parents and thinking...damn is he adopted......his mum looks black as black girl rocks but Ryan looks very very " I'm passing " down to the straightened sleaked back white boy hair style.
Honestly, Virginia needs to focus on her own shenanigans & issues. Clara can certainly speak for herself. In other words, “Saddown somewhere Virginia!!!” 😠
👍It wasn’t and if you read it well, it was not logical. If Clare was anything, she was candid-perhaps too much so at times. But, this was the woman he decided to remarry in a large ceremony. Notice he says nothing about the discrepant stories told about sex which is what she addresses. No matter, tho, they were incompatible and they’re divorced…fer sure!
The comments fighting Virginia saying g]”it’s not Ryan’s job to educate” are stupid. 1. If you choose to date outside your race it is partially your responsibility but it’s also your spouses to do the work in their end too. 2 Ryan specifically wanting a white woman increases his responsibility if you ask me. I personally never cared for Ryan. These people that lie about their experience on the show (hiding sex) are suspect to me. I’m a black man and while I would prefer to date a black woman, I don’t limit myself to any race. If I end up with someone that’s not black you damn well better believe I will educate her and make sure she is also educating herself. The problem here is people don’t like Virginia and I don’t either but she wasn’t wrong. Also, Ryan is a piece of shit for not helping with the move out
When dating someone who is accustomed to who dating Black people, there is usually less effort to educate needed. I think that is what Ryan was looking for in a spouse. A white woman trying to learn the Black Culture/Experience at her age would be more work than I would be willing to put in. And I feel Virginia was all the way wrong. I liked her on the show, minus the excessive partying. But she should be more focused on developing a healthy lifestyle for herself so that she can be a healthy partner in order to actually build a healthy marriage. And Clara being upset about Ryan’s mom stating her giving Ryan fellatio is silly. Clara gave up that boundary and privacy when she through a complete tantrum about it on national/international television.
That's not what he wants. He wants a white woman who "understands" the black experience. He doesn't want black children. I don't know if he lying to his self or getting a head of problem by pandering to the black audience. He playing the race card for sure.
I think I must have miss the reason why they could NOT talk about "the sex" they were having, but they (the parents) did attend the MAF wedding?! It was gonna happen. And also why was Ryan so SELFish with "the sex"? 🙄Sounds like to me the real problem. I would have told Ryan to take a hike a long time ago. On DD it would have been a NO!
Also the woman he really wants probably won’t want him. He is a mini man and has major identity issues. Idc how many black power shirts he wears, he needs to sort himself out.
Ryan has so many issues within himself that I just don’t even know why he took time to do this. You can not mention things about race or not understanding your partner’s culture when you’re in a interracial relationship but expect people to not think you mean the woman isn’t racist🤦🏾♀️ Ryan can go to hell alongside Virginia! We are 2 seasons removed from theirs and they’re talking still! Go away like the rest of cast once their season ends. Yuck
In my opinion... Ryan trying to get in his version first because we all saw him using her for her mouth without giving her any respect, love, empathy or genuinely kindness. Ladies don't stay with a guy crossing your fingers hoping a narcissist will change because it's always on their terms.
As the saying goes, there's her side, his side, and the truth lies somewhere in the middle. I believe each is sharing their truth as they see it. I thought Ryan's post was well written and explained well. He often wanted more depth from her and it could have been editing but they didn't make it seem like she wanted to get into deep topics. They disagreed about religion for sure which was an obvious problem. And yea, Virginia needs to butt out.
Yes. I agree. This is their individual truths. She didn't come across as being as deep as him, which is ok but just means that they weren't compatible to begin with.
He wants depth, but some people like to live more carefree and positive! I can be overly intellectual or pessimistic, so I love a bubbly person in my life. I think he could’ve approached that particular aspect of her with an open mindset.
Ryan was so emotionally abusive. I'm sorry but being that emotionally and physically withholding is cruel. Not saying you can't have boundaries, but to ignore his wife's frustrations instead of quieting them with direct conversation is genuinely mean. Not to mention early on in the series Clara said Ryan wanted them both to appear put together, past that point it was obvious she was basically instructed to talk only positively about him and their relationship. It's a level of controlling the narrative that was done so that no one, not even the experts or her friends, could really see what she was going through.
@@marah3298 She has, but I give Virginia a pass on this one. We certainly cannot trust Ryan. This is the man who was getting pleasured, but was comfortable denying anything was going on. Then when HE self servingly decided that might not have been a good look, he convinced her to claim they had been having sex all along. It was clear that something was not true.
@@audacity2hope645 True. I’m not a fan of either of them, and I do trust Virginia’s recollection more now.. I commented this ^ before I finished watching the whole video.
These men are crazy and confused. We could all see that Ryan appeared to have some issues while filming. Being shy and private on camera is one thing but Ryan didn't communicate well with Clara at all. Ryan seems to have been raised to be pro-black but he also seems uncomfortable with being black or maybe just being around many black people. He has some discomfort around race. He is selfish sexually and likely in other areas as well. He is far too rigid to accept a partner and he was very judgmental of Clara like he thought that she was dumb and that he was better than her. Clara is not a rocket scientist but its a dating show if he needed a problack, submissive, highly woke, Phd, ultra Christian woman he should go maybe look in a black church but I doubt thats what he really wants thats why I say that he is confused. Also he preferred a white woman but got angry with her for being a typical white woman. I understand about the religious differences but why didn't he tell her how much it bothered him? Ryan didn't handle his marriage well at all. Also on the day that they got married I swear that his parents were dissapointed that Clara was white. They never voiced it but it makes me wonder if this factored into how he feels because he spoke on how she behaved around his family and about honoring his slave ancestors.
I don't Ryan was that into her. Clara wanted a certain type of black man which Ryan wasn't the right type of black man for her. Ryan's mother was very inappropriate if she told Clara doing foreplay with her man is a gift she should expect anything! I would expect to be respected and if you didn't want to have sex there should be no foreplay ALLOWED!
Such an old school stepford wife type of advice to give to another woman given that this may have been a response to Clara complaining about needing sex from Ryan...if it's true.
@@marcirobins5144 🎯🤣🎯🤣🤣…that Hitler haircut, curlycue mustache, high water pants and a Black themed t-shirt; on dressy occasions, throw in a huge yellow bow tie👉the look of confusion
No she will never understand fully what his life experiences are like being black, just like he will never fully understand what her life experiences are being a woman. That's life. No two people will ever fully understand the experiences of one another unless you marry a sibling 😂
A black person will have a better understanding than someone outside your race. Not saying don't marry someone outside of your race but let's keep it 100 my husband who is Black definitely knows the fear and angst I get with certain things depending on what regions we're driving through or when black children walks outside of the house the fear that we both have and why. let's not downplay it.
@@rforresterbrown yes for sure, just in this case he specifically asked for a white woman so he'd have this problem with any white woman. He either didn't know what he actually wanted or he is just using that as an excuse imo
I agree, I think that's an excuse. In general he was very judgmental and guarded, I mean they were married and she couldn't say they had sex at all because of what he thought people would think of him. That doesn't even make sense. That was very controlling of him in my opinion. There's always more sides to a story, but if what Virginia said about Ryan's mom bringing up intimate details like that to Clara is true, that is really really messed up. You don't do that, regardless of race or anything. That's crossing the line completely. I don't think Ryan should've done this experiment or been on TV. He was not prepared for his life to be out in the public.
They were cringy together, and race had nothing to do with the cringe lol. How many paint brushes and colors did it take for him to paint this picture? Lol My black men need to stop asking for white women and then get upset when you get one that's not the stereotypical "put up with anything", "cater to your every need", and "keep it all to herself" type. He seems to be a very confused person in general lol. His statement was well written I'll give him that lol. Great video❤ #blacklove #justlove #loveyourselffirstplease
I've said this from the beginning and I'll say it again: Ryan is attempting to play for the wrong team. Going on MAFS was done to convince the world he's straight ... and Clara was his unfortunate "at bat". Also, dishonesty is wrong, whether it's about sex, family, faith, etc. If one cannot live an authentic life, then life is going to suck. Always. Results will be pulling race cards, pointing left when people are looking right. Blame shifting. This is why MAFS rarely works and as entertaining as it is for us to watch, some people are truly in it to win it. That's when tragedy steps in and Taylor Swift -he screwed me nine ways to Sunday- lyrics are splashed up on social media as if THAT answers it all. At the end of the day, all I can think is: if you play stupid games you get stupid prizes.
@@StillPooh62I'm gay and clocked him right away. He looked fearful of women. He was trying to act like he was straight but take it from me... This man is gay.
What she should have really paid attention to is the fact that he was gay. I clocked this guy a mile away. Any man who has a woman throwing himself at Him over and over and can legally have sex and choose us not to is gay. He may not know it yet or that is may not accept it yet. But you mark my words, this man is gay. I've been to it before with other men just like him. He wants desperately to be straight and to be thought of a straight because of his family's ties to the church, but trust and believe he is as gay as a bonnet on easter morning.
I find it funny that people commenting are making Ryan the bad guy.. Honestly, I didn’t think he did anything wrong. He was speaking his truth and there’s nothing wrong with that. What he was expressing wasn’t supposed to be an attack, it was his way of speaking up. People only see it as an attack if they only have emotion based thinking (with no logic whatsoever). People always want to find something or someone to hate just because they have nothing better to do..
Race aside, Clara and Ryan were not good for eachother from the start. base differences- he's introverted and she's extroverted. They both also seem inexperienced and self centered. It's possible Clara came off as flippant and insensitive because during their season she seemed to check out when he'd talk to her about certain things. He was distant in his way and it seemed like all the lying and covering up (his choice) hurt their relationship too. I don't have ill will against either of them, they just seem young.
I love his show. The trainwrecks are usually visible once the honeymoon is over. The new season started here in Canada last night and can't wait to forecast which ones are doomed. I'm starting to believe that the 'Experts' have a ratio of failures to meet as smooth sailing relationships would not make for an intersting show.
Unless Virginia is co-signed by Betty Ford, she need to have all the seats!! Clara and Ryan are telling 2 different things. I dont know what to believe, but usually the truth is somewhere in the middle.
This is so stupid 😂😂 Even as a black woman I don't understand the black man experience. I don't understand the darkskin women experience all I can do is empathize, don't add to the problem and don't perpetuate the issues. He ASKED for a white woman he ticked that box and then talking about race is the issue 😂😂 Ou chile wicked and bad
Black women and black men have similar experiences and white people treat lightskinned and darkskinned people the same exact way we are all black people. Only black people treat lightskinned and darkskinned differently. As soon as I saw trini in your name I knew some weird sht was gonna follow. I love being a trini but I swear my people love to act like they are a different race.
Most interracial couples deal with this. They just stay together because everything else is good.. This is the exact reason I declined a relationship with my white friend. He just couldn’t relate to basic black issues. It was frustrating and at times appalling.
Ryan is correct about adopting another culture if you are married to someone who doesn't share your background. That's why unless you want to adopt another culture, you should marry someone of the same culture.
Agreed! And it is easier to have relationships with partners as well as platonic friends who can at minimum empathize with your experience. I have cut friends off for being so ignorant of and unwilling to understand my culture. So is surely through a relationship away if my spouse fell into this category. I don’t blame Ryan. She has to have the wherewithal to navigate children through a POC experience. Plus, the difference in health, finances, and religion just made them doomed before they got started.
Well that’s what he specifically asked for!!!! He preferred white and that’s what you got!!!! You can’t expect her to just get it!!! He should’ve educated her on things on the spot when she needed that particular understanding! He’s saying he wanted to wait to do it because he “knew where it could go”. Ok so it sounds to me like he knew that she might be racist or somehow intolerant or not understanding to racial issues, yet he still wanted her!!!! He’s a clown for that!! A self hating, thirsty fool that craves being in proximity to whiteness!!! All of this is a problem of his own making. Let him have it, he deserves it.
@@LisaLisa-qo8gt All of this crap about race and he expresses a preference to MARRY a white woman. Psychologically, that speaks to self hate. I don’t think he thought she was racist….He knew she was gonna bust him out on the lies about not having sex, then having it all the time. Cynically, this was his best comeback…induce race into the mix.
Hi Tamara! Omg, there’s so much. Ryan definitely played the race card. While his statements are true statements regarding interracial dating, he definitely tried to weaponize them against whatever may have been aired on the special. People in the comments saw right through it and ate him up about 1) Not even dating Black women and 2) Barely even having Black friends. So, what exactly does he want or expect??? Makes no sense, and I do not empathize, or sympathize, with him at all. Also, I’m so sick of people coming on MAFS, a show so popular at this point that it has a universe and fandom of its own, but not wanting to be transparent with the process. If you are so conservative that you want to lie to production about what’s actually happening in the marriage, then don’t get married to a stranger on national TV🙄 I felt this was a terrible match from the beginning. They were too different in very key was regarding religion, passion, career, sex and intimacy… pretty much everything. Clara is very “go with the flow” and Ryan is very rigid. Another fail by the experts that was doomed from the beginning thinking opposites will attract. One thing about Charlie’s Angels (Clara, Virginia, & Hailey), they are going to ride for each other lol. Addendum: And another thing, I’m so glad Pastor Cal brought up how many Black men want to marry White women and how little that is reciprocated. Black men really act as though they are oblivious when it comes to the sensitive topic of interracial dating in this country and how their “preferences” are usually rooted in self-hate and colorism… but that’s another story💁🏿♂️
@@DCRefugee123 Thank you for the entire quote. I’m not surprised that the title was provocative b/c that’s what media does to draw in consumers. It is par for the course. However, even from the entire quote, my point does not change. Pastor Cal, in my opinion, chose his words very carefully to paint the picture without trying to blow up the spot lol. “We have ALL these guys”…going on to say how we’ve seen them in past seasons and quoting their preference of White women over their own race. This bit about Black women appeared to be a little cushion to me, so as not to be too controversial. We know what actually happens in society and the Black community, and Pastor Cal doesn’t have to draw it out completely. We see it with our eyes in videos, commercials, movies, tv shows, entertainment, our real lives….we hear it in music…there are documentaries…there are studies. It’s not a preference evenly represented amongst genders in our community. Even reality TV alone, the most recent season of the Bachelorette made history and showcased 5 Black people In the final episodes who were biracial, including the bachelorette, herself. Their parents were Black dad, White mom… You rarely see it the other way around.
So much going on here. I agree with your assessment. Plus I don't think he should not have gone on the show if he was looking for such a specific type of female. A religious white woman who seemingly has first hand knowledge of the "black experience."
Virginia and Claire are equally annoying. However, Ryan that race card you tried to pull is wack. If you’re THAT concerned, how about you date black women. Going out of your way to look as pro black as possible while dating everything BUT your own race is hypocritical.
I get Virginia is annoying but why should she butt out. If she was close enough friends to go pack up and move Clara out of Ryan's house then why should she not have Claras back? You better believe if my girlfriends ex-husband wrote a 9 page dis implying my gal a racist, you'd better believe I'd be sticking up for her. I mean if she wasn't close to Clara and inserted herself then I'd agree she needs to stay out if it, but obviously they grew close. Nobody takes their time off to go pack and move someone they aren't close to. So I give Virginia a pass on this one. And to be honest, I'm not a Virginia fan.
@@sissimpson you can't say all that he did and then say "I'm not calling her racist". Be honest if this were you and an exhusband made these statements about you, would you give him the grace to say, oh but he said at the very end he wasn't calling me a racist so it's all good? So those last words negate all the words before it? I think anyone who puts themselves in Claras shoes would think not. And coupled this with the info Virginia dropped, I think it's damn sad of him. Don't ask for a white woman (a woman outside your race) and then tell her she should just know your experiences. If he truly cared for her to learn he'd have been very open to having an honest discussion on the matter. So for me, he shuts her down and then goes on social media to disparage her. That was disgusting
Yeah I agree Virginia may always be in someone’s business but I feel like in this case she has the right to be, they’re obviously very close friends and she was there through all the drama so she knows firsthand what transpired
Whoa. Everything Ryan says I completely agree with and say Amen. But I have to wonder how much of this information lived only in his head and was never said aloud or shared. Or did he say a couple of things and got fed up, shut down and doomed the marriage? And did he ever love her at all? We'll never know. It's absolutely true Clara should have stepped up & out of her slacker ways to educate herself, but if they weren't well matched in the first place then none of it would have mattered. I also agree with Virginia, believe it or not. You can only learn so much from a book. I get what she was saying. Hearing that story about Ryan just sitting in his office while they helped move Clara out makes him look petty and spiteful. As great as his speech is he's a very flawed person too. They both need to zip it and call it a wash.🤐🤐
It does help when a person has grown up in neighborhoods and schools with that other race and having friends in that race their entire life. So many unspoken rules and cultural aspects a person learns and ends up adopting so when they marry into that race, it just feels like second nature.
Ryan states that Black culture isn't a monolith, yet Ryan wants Clara to understand the black experience? There can't be a 'black experience' if it isn't monolithic.
I don’t know that Clara said anything terrible. Ryan jumped the gun with his little expose’. Everybody said from the beginning he was strange. Virginia is the one that comes out of this situation looking/sounding stupid. What has she got to do with any of this. Hate to say it but I think she was drinking during her video. Clara can speak for herself. I went to Ryan’s Instagram to read his letter after someone spoke of it on fb. Ryan has almost no Black people on it…especially women. And that’s ok but stop talking out of both sides of your mouth, Ryan.
Yeah, it seems like he wants to live out his "black experience" with non black people which is fine if he didn't make such a big deal about wanting his blackness understood.
🎯Very controlling❗️Things are on his time, his way. She didn’t mind talking about sex. Not clear where he was coming from. But…seems it was his bright idea to try to make himself look better by claiming they were having sex all along. She was right. That story didn’t track and she had every right to speak.
I just want Virginia to mind her business! Ryan parents are both Pastors so I can see why he didn’t want certain things on tv…. I’m tired of them dragging it now
Ryan asked for a white blonde woman and when he got it, he wants to throw race into it. Like what did he expect? Of course she doesn't understand the black experience, you two have very different cultures. For him to expect Clara to understand black culture going into this relationship is crazy. Ryan has no right to say what he said when all he's friends are white, and the only black people in he’s life is only family. I don't want to hear it. I felt he came up with an excuse for wanting a divorce because he sure can't tell people he was big mad STILL about the comments she made about them not being intimate yet. Idc what Ryan's perference is but, he cannot pull the race card when things don’t go his way because he is living he's life like a white male who occassionaly dabbles in the black culture. And wearing black lives matter or pro black tee shirts doesn't mask he's assimilation as a white man.
Clara said he never got over her conversation on tv. I don't really think race had anything to do with it. He probably never should have been on a reality tv show. Maybe his parents have too much influence on him. Who knows. I cannot stand when people bring race into a love relationship. If he wanted to please his famiky. And have no patience in one year. He should not have Asked for anyone but a black woman. It takes time to get used to marriage. With anyone. If you love someone you work it out. Every one has different problems. No one is the same. It takes work. If you want it . It works. The family will eventually come around. Or not.
I agree with you. He should not have been on a reality show about marriage & he should have known that. And if he's so together then why is he having trouble finding a wife, I wonder? He's intelligent, fit, makes money. That's appealing to many women. So what's the problem? Hopefully he finds out in therapy. Credit to all those who realize therapy might be a good idea after the show.
@@mariarohmer2374 👍💯agreement. Hope he heads to therapy to sort out unresolved issues he brought into the MAFS experience and lessons from the marriage.
I hope people don't hate me for this. I actually have 2 points. 1st, regardless of race or ethnicity every person walking the Earth is having their own unique experience and when you become a partner to and with someone you can't expect them to inherently understand anything the exact same way you do even if you're the same race, age, from the sane town, went to the same schools and on. Even twins don't have identical experiences. Especially considering we are all constantly growing and evolving. That's part of what makes the journey together exciting, always learning more and deeper insights about the person you love. 2nd, my husband is Persian and I am not. Early on he would tell me about his upbringing, customs, beliefs and when I was young and naive I really believed I understood and grasped the Persian experience, until I met other Persians who had completely different upbringing, beliefs and even a few different customs. My point is, I needed him to teach me about what was important to him. Had I read what it meant to be Persian I would have seen him through the lens of someone else life. While there are many things that are shared in the Persian community and life, much like many of us think of Christ, red, green, snow, lights and mistletoe when we think of Christmas its only fair to have the depth of understanding that our idea of culture is heavily influenced by our unique upbringing. While many people can have similar experiences it would be a disservice to the individual souls we meet along the way to engage as though they are in a box we think we grasp, imposing our ideas of what we think we understand on them would be like imposing Douglass fir trees on people who prefer to celebrate Christmas with a palm tree. This is why I personally really dislike labels and compartmentalizing people. I am adopted and don't entirely know what race I am. I love it. I tend to fit in everywhere I go because I dont label myself and prefer to see the similarities rather than the differenceces between myself and people I interact with. Its wonderful. Also, on my own face my color has changed through the years. Now, at my age, my face is multicolored. Which dark, freckled or spotted area, or lack thereof would someone pick to box me into their definition of who I am? Why limit my being? Adam and Eve carried the genetic possibilities for every race there would ever be. We are all brothers and sisters in my view. But yeah, if he wanted her to understand him and his family that was his responsibility. And if his family did cross the line talking about "giving him his gift" ewwwww, how incredibly tacky. Giving unsolicited advice to your son or daughter in law, or anyone, is presumptive and insulting even in the best conditions, let alone a daughter in law who's effectively just promised her life to a stranger. Thats not culture, thats a lack of class on their individual parts.
💜💜💜Love this! I agree with you. Everyone's experience with their particular culture is not the same...even for 2 people who grew up in the same culture. If someone chooses someone outside of their culture but wants them to be aware of it, there's nothing wrong with sharing/teaching their partner. I do believe that the other person should have do some research on the culture, so as not to be 100% clueless but there's nothing wrong with teaching.
As a BW who have dated WM I completely understand where Ryan is coming from. Honestly it's not my job to teach you about racism when your ancestors were they ones who started it. It's exhausting! I'm so over people who need to be spoonfed information on racism. I try not to date WM unless they're very "woke". But since Ryan only dates WW he should know this 🤔 Virginia needs to mind her business!
I said from the match show they were interracial confusion. He seems very confused about who he is, where and what he wants to identify as and she is too. Clara appeared to be needy, thirsty with very few goals/life plans besides having a good time...never mind that she appeared ditzy and airheaded to his straight laced seriousness. Im tired of the both of them and dont understnd at all y Ryan with his personality did the show. And as for Lushy Linda...be concerned about your own relationships, mental health, maturity and excessive drinking🙄
Here's a real test in the "racism via ignorance" matter...will you continue to request white women only...are you now open to a woman who has lived your black experience?
I thought he was white and then he said he was biracial I was like hmm I can see it a bit now that he said it. But I really thought he was white, maybe the hair and his behaviors leaned more in that direction.
ryan was just weird .i felt sorry for Clara ,she got the wrong black man. how many black men you kmow that go 4-8 weeks without touching some part of the female body.?he was too strange
Why are they going back n forth. A blind man can see he never liked the girl, they didn’t seem to connect on any level or topic. Clara could be a nice person but the girl but not for Ryan.. he needs to figure himself out
I feel the pain. I'm from Colorado & my wife is from Texas. Talk about a vast cultural gap...they talk strange and eat food that make me want to throw up at the table like grits & black eyed peas. And all they can talk about is the Dallas Cowboys (my least favorite team after the Raiders) and the Longhorns and Trump. Whats worse is that when we get back to Colorado she starts with "youall until I take belt to her. And she doesn't accept my culture..refuses to cheer the Broncs and complain about the cold...and snow. What would happen if we have kids? Will they grow up singing "Deep in the heart of Texas" Will they hate skiing? Will the genetics mean that their first word will be "You all"' What a horror show! Just too hard. When I start over I plan to stick with my own culture. Just too damn hard to try cross culture "experiments"
Pastor Cal told nothing but the truth and now Ryan crying crocodile tears. He shot the arrow at Clara and it missed and hit him. Virginia need to get a life she is mad that her ex paying her no mind and wants to keep her 15min of fame and then complain about anxiety 😒 when people drag her girl bye. Clara just sit and eat your good all things come to light
You called it-Ryan played the race card against Clara!!! He asks to be paired with a white woman, and now complains that she did not understand Black culture?! Well, eating soul food ain’t it. There is no monolithic Black experience. And, in any family, the one from that family should facilitate entree of the person who is being newly introduced. Ryan always struck me as superficial and quirky. He wore Black-themed t-shirts on the show to passively communicate who he was after having stated a preference for white women.
When the issue of feelings came up, he always changed the subject. He didn’t like it that she revealed that she was doing him and he was doing nothing for her. He LOOKED like a deer caught in the headlights wearing a yellow bow tie on DDay when he said Yes. They were obviously mismatched, so if “life outlook and religion” were dealbreakers he should have said NO. Then they announce on the reunion their plans to have a large wedding. Then days before announcing they’re done, he convinces her to LIE along with him about having had sex all along. See where this is going? No Where-fer sure! Ryan IS immature, superficial, passive aggressive and isn’t clear about who he wants to be when he grows up. Glad he backed out, because Clara’s neediness led her to minimize important red flags that this relationship was headed nowhere💯❗️We ain’t mad at em and don’t need an ‘explanation?’
Dang Woke you always bring up well thought out observations that make you go hmmm🤔 💜💜
The “fer sure” is sending me 🤣🤣🤣
Ryan the type who will Always find Fault Because he is a Perfectionist & has a hard time accepting his own flaws, so it will be that much harder Accepting them in others
I could tell that's how he was gonna be when I saw him wearing a Black Lives Matter shirt during one of the episodes.
Love this comment, so insightful…
He wants a women that understands the black experience, so he married a white women
😂😂😂
Right! Smh.
🤣🤣🤣
Right....clear as mud
Thank you!
Make it make sense!
Ryan portrays himself like a white man, but gets angry when his white wife doesn't understand "black America (culture)"? LOL But I think Virginia made some good points. If you're gonna date interracially, it is up to you to teach, train, explain all the nuances of your culture.
Me too. I'm not a Virginia fan but she's not stupid. Out there & extra but not stupid. I totally got her point. You can read all the books you want on race but if your circle is one color...
@@mariarohmer2374 You nailed it!
He said saying he tried, and she didn't care or try to adjust
@@danimotherofchickens479 Mother of chickens, lol
@@livingishe Great minds...👍🏽
Now Ryan wanna play the race card knowing that he isn’t even into black women or black culture please 😂😂😂
AMEN!! So many black queens but he wants a white girl
He wanted a white girl but was not ready for a girl like Clara. Shes wayyy too outspoken and spicy for him. I dont feel bad for him...if he wanted the "black experience," he shouldve valued black woman and black love from the start. Thats what he gets!
Exactly!! You want “The Black Experience” but White and Blonde?! Goodbye Sir 🤦🏾♀️🥴😂😂😂
He don't want a black woman. This man is confused.
Did you ever consider that he resoning could be even half true and she also was not ready to date a black man?
Period!
@@KingGreqo She's mostly dated black men 😅
Black women, Ryan wanted a white women this is not your fight please stay out of it.
Right! Great advice. Ryan is literally reaping what HE has sown.
Basically
Facts!!!
Exactly
We been out lol
Ryan and Zach are similar. They both have zero self awareness. How is Ryan, someone who is purposely hiding his own blkness, calling out his white wife for not understanding or appreciating the nuances of the blk experience? How sway?
Ryan has identity issues. He knows he's black, feels uncomfortable in his skin and wears T-shirts and saturates himself in knowledge to prove he is confident in his skin. However, this may sound unimportant; however, when Clara went to his neat house and opened the cupboards to broken shelves, junky disorganized drawers SAID ALOT OF WHO RYAN IS, the inside of those cupboards and drawers described the inner Ryan. He puts up an organized, ideal outer, but is opposite or unresolved/disorganized inside.
Ryan needs, as we all, to seriously, 🤲🏼 and get his spiritual self in order through Christ Jesus, inorder to find peace and stability. It's not about impressing people on the outside; it is where will I spend eternity. 2 Corinthians 6:2. KJV.
Agreed, he has identity issues. Cupboard metaphor is excellent.
All facts! I hated when he wore those shirts!
You are spot on! .You’ve just said Ryan from years of therapy 👏🏽😂
@@sugarnspice8314 😆
Excellent point!!
Ryan absolutely played the race card. He was just trying to get ahead of Clara's calling him out on his shat and just NOW decides race is the issue..humm then stick to your race. Boy bye!
💯 💯
On what shit? What exactly did Ryan do
Ryan knew that by making Clary look like an uncaring white women that he could get certain fans to take his side. But a black man that doesn’t date black women won’t get any sympathy from me. I’m looking forward to seeing the other side of the story. Because I damn sure don’t buy his BS.
Yea, he needs to sort out whatever issues he has with himself.
Yeah! Got Nuthin
You are a smart lady.
Are both his parents black?
@@casioroyale3782 yes
@@YeahIGotNuthin Wow🤣🤣
Ryan, put your card back in your pocket. This is what you wanted. And all your Black pride t-shirts won’t change that.
😂😂😂😂😂
The thing about Ryan is he specifically wanted a white woman so whilst I here some of what he has to say…..he also should know that having a white partner will never be the same as having someone from your race. And Clara doesn’t strike me as the type to be insensitive towards race and culture 🤷♀️
That's how I see it. It's a lot to expect of a 25/26 year old who has never walked in his shoes nor grew up in a black household.
What he specifically needed was a white woman who wanted to be married into a black family.
@@JerzyBoy973 ok well….good luck to him on finding that.
Year Ryan is an idiot and now he's just making us black men look bad. You don't agree to an arranged to a stranger, desire a different race, and then hope they just accept everything that the people within your culture are still dealing with. He's talking about black issues but ran from the race to marry outside it. He's an idiot
@@FNJ720 exactly. Dudes looking for a needle in a hay stack.
Ryan reminds me of Matt James (from the Bachelor) who went on and on about the black experience and understanding what it’s like to be a black man in America, only to choose a white woman and one with a history of racial insensitivity. Smh
I have come to believe when BM talk about racism, they are talking about racism against the BM. Nothing more or less.
@@dorothymonroe So true. An example of this is the difference between how the Breonna Taylor and George Floyd protests were handled. Black men (and their white women) did not show up for Breonna demanding justice in the same way they did for George Floyd. Both very worthy of the same energy and support.
Bi racial men who are black and white are confused individuals, Ryan and Matt are the poster child of that.
🎯🎯🎯
@@Ktaurus26 I don’t think he’s biracial. His parents were on the show, both black. His brother is also darker than him.
Didn't he want to marry a non-black woman? What did he think it was going to be like?
Right. Plus it's a white girl from the deep south. What was he expecting?
Ryan has issues that has nothing to do with Clare. Mainly his identity issues if he could fully assimilate he would. He wears the t- shirts so you won’t question his muttonchops.
Siiissss…. Not the muttonchops. Why must you be so violent? WHY!!!!! 😂
I liked how Virginia clocked him. She was basically like “we know what type of black man you are” and when the White women start peeping those types for who they are you KNOW theirs a paradigm shift going on lolllll
I just think if these issues are so important to Ryan, it seems that allowing tv producers to choose your wife isn't the way to go. If I remember correctly, Ryan never said I love you to anyone woman. I think he may be too picky. He didn't like Clara from jump, and as he got to know her, he really disliked her.
Yep! You are correct. Clara was the first woman he said "I love you" to. Good point about being too picky.
yea, he has issues to iron out, he's all over the place.
Ryan makes me sick. How is he complaining about this when he specified the race of the partner he wanted
And carried himself like a white man...I remember seeing his parents and thinking...damn is he adopted......his mum looks black as black girl rocks but Ryan looks very very " I'm passing " down to the straightened sleaked back white boy hair style.
Did he? Is that documented somewhere?
Virginia sit down she been in everybody else's relationship while she faked her way through hers
Thanks! lol
He is so full of crap! You can’t chase White Women then try to pull the race card when it doesn’t work out 🙄🙄🙄 Bye Ryan
Honestly, Virginia needs to focus on her own shenanigans & issues. Clara can certainly speak for herself.
In other words, “Saddown somewhere Virginia!!!” 😠
😂😂😂😂
I agree with the question of.."if hes so worried about his culture being understood why date/marry outside your race??" Smh some BM need to do better!
Like 😂 honestly I'm not going to ask a fish to understand birds lmfao this man wicked for even posting that sh1t 😂😂
But Virginia has a point. The 9 page rant wasn't respectful
👍It wasn’t and if you read it well, it was not logical. If Clare was anything, she was candid-perhaps too much so at times. But, this was the woman he decided to remarry in a large ceremony. Notice he says nothing about the discrepant stories told about sex which is what she addresses. No matter, tho, they were incompatible and they’re divorced…fer sure!
The comments fighting Virginia saying g]”it’s not Ryan’s job to educate” are stupid. 1. If you choose to date outside your race it is partially your responsibility but it’s also your spouses to do the work in their end too. 2 Ryan specifically wanting a white woman increases his responsibility if you ask me. I personally never cared for Ryan. These people that lie about their experience on the show (hiding sex) are suspect to me. I’m a black man and while I would prefer to date a black woman, I don’t limit myself to any race. If I end up with someone that’s not black you damn well better believe I will educate her and make sure she is also educating herself. The problem here is people don’t like Virginia and I don’t either but she wasn’t wrong. Also, Ryan is a piece of shit for not helping with the move out
Preach!!!!!
When dating someone who is accustomed to who dating Black people, there is usually less effort to educate needed. I think that is what Ryan was looking for in a spouse. A white woman trying to learn the Black Culture/Experience at her age would be more work than I would be willing to put in.
And I feel Virginia was all the way wrong. I liked her on the show, minus the excessive partying. But she should be more focused on developing a healthy lifestyle for herself so that she can be a healthy partner in order to actually build a healthy marriage.
And Clara being upset about Ryan’s mom stating her giving Ryan fellatio is silly. Clara gave up that boundary and privacy when she through a complete tantrum about it on national/international television.
He thought clara was gonna tell everyone he was gay in the tell all so he thought oooo i have one better that will make everyone feel bad for me.
Ryan has way too many rules to be happily married.
Good point!
Almost as many rules as Erik 😂😂
THATS RYANS FAULT. SHOULDA ASKED FOR A BLACK GIRL.
That's not what he wants. He wants a white woman who "understands" the black experience. He doesn't want black children. I don't know if he lying to his self or getting a head of problem by pandering to the black audience. He playing the race card for sure.
I think I must have miss the reason why they could NOT talk about "the sex" they were having, but they (the parents) did attend the MAF wedding?! It was gonna happen. And also why was Ryan so SELFish with "the sex"? 🙄Sounds like to me the real problem. I would have told Ryan to take a hike a long time ago. On DD it would have been a NO!
Ryan wants a bi-racial black woman who is white passing and who is religious, he couldn’t say it like that cuz his odds of getting one is low.
Everything you just said!!!! You are good.
I thought he wanted a WHiTE girl that is religious but he got Clara 😂
Also the woman he really wants probably won’t want him. He is a mini man and has major identity issues. Idc how many black power shirts he wears, he needs to sort himself out.
Yep!
Sounds like ryan had to live it to find out that he needed to fine-tune his dream wife.
Ryan has so many issues within himself that I just don’t even know why he took time to do this. You can not mention things about race or not understanding your partner’s culture when you’re in a interracial relationship but expect people to not think you mean the woman isn’t racist🤦🏾♀️ Ryan can go to hell alongside Virginia! We are 2 seasons removed from theirs and they’re talking still! Go away like the rest of cast once their season ends. Yuck
😂
You seem like a very loving person.
In my opinion... Ryan trying to get in his version first because we all saw him using her for her mouth without giving her any respect, love, empathy or genuinely kindness. Ladies don't stay with a guy crossing your fingers hoping a narcissist will change because it's always on their terms.
He was definitely trying to get in front of her narrative only to find out she didn't say any of this.
As the saying goes, there's her side, his side, and the truth lies somewhere in the middle. I believe each is sharing their truth as they see it. I thought Ryan's post was well written and explained well. He often wanted more depth from her and it could have been editing but they didn't make it seem like she wanted to get into deep topics. They disagreed about religion for sure which was an obvious problem. And yea, Virginia needs to butt out.
Yes. I agree. This is their individual truths. She didn't come across as being as deep as him, which is ok but just means that they weren't compatible to begin with.
@@TamaraLynetteTales exactly. And wanting to raise your kids in a religion the other person doesn't want sounds like a big deal breaker.
He wants depth, but some people like to live more carefree and positive! I can be overly intellectual or pessimistic, so I love a bubbly person in my life. I think he could’ve approached that particular aspect of her with an open mindset.
@Disco Sprinkles yea that scene with the 🍩 😄she just kept stuffing them in.
@@marah3298 unfortunately opposites attract but eventually repel. Those relationships do not usually stand the test of time.
Ryan was so emotionally abusive. I'm sorry but being that emotionally and physically withholding is cruel. Not saying you can't have boundaries, but to ignore his wife's frustrations instead of quieting them with direct conversation is genuinely mean. Not to mention early on in the series Clara said Ryan wanted them both to appear put together, past that point it was obvious she was basically instructed to talk only positively about him and their relationship. It's a level of controlling the narrative that was done so that no one, not even the experts or her friends, could really see what she was going through.
Virginia was completely wasted her entire marriage and I’m sure she can barely remember details, so her recollection of Clara’s I can’t trust.
I agree.
@@marah3298 She has, but I give Virginia a pass on this one. We certainly cannot trust Ryan. This is the man who was getting pleasured, but was comfortable denying anything was going on. Then when HE self servingly decided that might not have been a good look, he convinced her to claim they had been having sex all along. It was clear that something was not true.
@@audacity2hope645 True. I’m not a fan of either of them, and I do trust Virginia’s recollection more now.. I commented this ^ before I finished watching the whole video.
@@marah3298 👍❗️
🤣😂
The season that just wont let go and keeps on giving im here for it Tamara now tattle tale us all about it 🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣😀 This is what I do 😂🍵
These men are crazy and confused. We could all see that Ryan appeared to have some issues while filming. Being shy and private on camera is one thing but Ryan didn't communicate well with Clara at all. Ryan seems to have been raised to be pro-black but he also seems uncomfortable with being black or maybe just being around many black people. He has some discomfort around race.
He is selfish sexually and likely in other areas as well. He is far too rigid to accept a partner and he was very judgmental of Clara like he thought that she was dumb and that he was better than her.
Clara is not a rocket scientist but its a dating show if he needed a problack, submissive, highly woke, Phd, ultra Christian woman he should go maybe look in a black church but I doubt thats what he really wants thats why I say that he is confused.
Also he preferred a white woman but got angry with her for being a typical white woman.
I understand about the religious differences but why didn't he tell her how much it bothered him?
Ryan didn't handle his marriage well at all.
Also on the day that they got married I swear that his parents were dissapointed that Clara was white. They never voiced it but it makes me wonder if this factored into how he feels because he spoke on how she behaved around his family and about honoring his slave ancestors.
You make a lot of good points!
Imma need Virginia to mind her business in 2022. Thats it. Thats all I got.
🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
Favorite comment! 😂
She has alcohol courage
Right! Her rant did not make Clara look any better!
Girrllll I'm glad you covered this because I WAS NOT going to read that stupid post 😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣 This is why I'm here. I shift through all this stuff so you don't have to 😂
@@TamaraLynetteTales ❤️❤️ Blessings to you mama
I don't Ryan was that into her. Clara wanted a certain type of black man which Ryan wasn't the right type of black man for her. Ryan's mother was very inappropriate if she told Clara doing foreplay with her man is a gift she should expect anything! I would expect to be respected and if you didn't want to have sex there should be no foreplay ALLOWED!
Such an old school stepford wife type of advice to give to another woman given that this may have been a response to Clara complaining about needing sex from Ryan...if it's true.
I agree!
@Disco Sprinkles I’m sure he knew cuz gurlfriend didn’t hold back. She said outloud that sex was just sex for her.
Ryan is all about perception
ABSOLUTELY!!!
He clearly missed the perception of his haircut.
@@marcirobins5144 🎯🤣🎯🤣🤣…that Hitler haircut, curlycue mustache, high water pants and a Black themed t-shirt; on dressy occasions, throw in a huge yellow bow tie👉the look of confusion
Virginia had her own raggedy marriage to deal with.
No she will never understand fully what his life experiences are like being black, just like he will never fully understand what her life experiences are being a woman. That's life. No two people will ever fully understand the experiences of one another unless you marry a sibling 😂
Even marrying a sibling isn't guaranteed 😕🙃
A black person will have a better understanding than someone outside your race. Not saying don't marry someone outside of your race but let's keep it 100 my husband who is Black definitely knows the fear and angst I get with certain things depending on what regions we're driving through or when black children walks outside of the house the fear that we both have and why. let's not downplay it.
🤣🤣🤣 Not the sibling!! 😂 😂 But you're right!! 💯 ‼️
@@rforresterbrown yes for sure, just in this case he specifically asked for a white woman so he'd have this problem with any white woman. He either didn't know what he actually wanted or he is just using that as an excuse imo
I agree, I think that's an excuse. In general he was very judgmental and guarded, I mean they were married and she couldn't say they had sex at all because of what he thought people would think of him. That doesn't even make sense. That was very controlling of him in my opinion. There's always more sides to a story, but if what Virginia said about Ryan's mom bringing up intimate details like that to Clara is true, that is really really messed up. You don't do that, regardless of race or anything. That's crossing the line completely. I don't think Ryan should've done this experiment or been on TV. He was not prepared for his life to be out in the public.
Ryan wasnt fair to clara it seemed. They were mismatched and hope they are happier apart.
Tiiiiiiired of Virginia. Girl, how are you in everyone’s relationship?? How do you know everything about everyone’s relationship?
😂 😂 That's Virg. Always in the kool-aid. 🧃
@@TamaraLynetteTales And don't know the flavor lol!!!
They were cringy together, and race had nothing to do with the cringe lol.
How many paint brushes and colors did it take for him to paint this picture? Lol
My black men need to stop asking for white women and then get upset when you get one that's not the stereotypical "put up with anything", "cater to your every need", and "keep it all to herself" type. He seems to be a very confused person in general lol.
His statement was well written I'll give him that lol.
Great video❤
#blacklove #justlove #loveyourselffirstplease
I've said this from the beginning and I'll say it again: Ryan is attempting to play for the wrong team. Going on MAFS was done to convince the world he's straight ... and Clara was his unfortunate "at bat". Also, dishonesty is wrong, whether it's about sex, family, faith, etc. If one cannot live an authentic life, then life is going to suck. Always. Results will be pulling race cards, pointing left when people are looking right. Blame shifting. This is why MAFS rarely works and as entertaining as it is for us to watch, some people are truly in it to win it. That's when tragedy steps in and Taylor Swift -he screwed me nine ways to Sunday- lyrics are splashed up on social media as if THAT answers it all. At the end of the day, all I can think is: if you play stupid games you get stupid prizes.
" If you play stupid games, you get stupid prizes" I've never heard that... love it. 💜
I was wondering if I was the only one who thought Ryan was totally in the closet. I was positive almost immediately that he was gay.
@@StillPooh62I'm gay and clocked him right away. He looked fearful of women. He was trying to act like he was straight but take it from me... This man is gay.
Why didn't he married a black woman? he could have avoid those topics.
He didn’t want to
What she should have really paid attention to is the fact that he was gay. I clocked this guy a mile away. Any man who has a woman throwing himself at Him over and over and can legally have sex and choose us not to is gay. He may not know it yet or that is may not accept it yet. But you mark my words, this man is gay. I've been to it before with other men just like him. He wants desperately to be straight and to be thought of a straight because of his family's ties to the church, but trust and believe he is as gay as a bonnet on easter morning.
I find it funny that people commenting are making Ryan the bad guy.. Honestly, I didn’t think he did anything wrong. He was speaking his truth and there’s nothing wrong with that. What he was expressing wasn’t supposed to be an attack, it was his way of speaking up. People only see it as an attack if they only have emotion based thinking (with no logic whatsoever). People always want to find something or someone to hate just because they have nothing better to do..
Ryan is gay man blaming the white women for exposing his fear
Race aside, Clara and Ryan were not good for eachother from the start. base differences- he's introverted and she's extroverted. They both also seem inexperienced and self centered. It's possible Clara came off as flippant and insensitive because during their season she seemed to check out when he'd talk to her about certain things. He was distant in his way and it seemed like all the lying and covering up (his choice) hurt their relationship too. I don't have ill will against either of them, they just seem young.
That relationship always seemed like it was on Ryan's terms
I love his show. The trainwrecks are usually visible once the honeymoon is over. The new season started here in Canada last night and can't wait to forecast which ones are doomed.
I'm starting to believe that the 'Experts' have a ratio of failures to meet as smooth sailing relationships would not make for an intersting show.
Unless Virginia is co-signed by Betty Ford, she need to have all the seats!! Clara and Ryan are telling 2 different things. I dont know what to believe, but usually the truth is somewhere in the middle.
Virginia needs to clarify her mess of her marriage
This is so stupid 😂😂 Even as a black woman I don't understand the black man experience. I don't understand the darkskin women experience all I can do is empathize, don't add to the problem and don't perpetuate the issues. He ASKED for a white woman he ticked that box and then talking about race is the issue 😂😂 Ou chile wicked and bad
Black women and black men have similar experiences and white people treat lightskinned and darkskinned people the same exact way we are all black people. Only black people treat lightskinned and darkskinned differently. As soon as I saw trini in your name I knew some weird sht was gonna follow. I love being a trini but I swear my people love to act like they are a different race.
@@Canuck24_7 🤣🤣
Most interracial couples deal with this. They just stay together because everything else is good.. This is the exact reason I declined a relationship with my white friend. He just couldn’t relate to basic black issues. It was frustrating and at times appalling.
I felt so bad for Clara.
Geez, I think we now have a much clearer understanding of why Clara doesn’t want to be with this guy.
Thats very interesting, thankyou for bringing it all together so well Tamara
You're welcome 💜 💜
Ryan is correct about adopting another culture if you are married to someone who doesn't share your background. That's why unless you want to adopt another culture, you should marry someone of the same culture.
Agreed! And it is easier to have relationships with partners as well as platonic friends who can at minimum empathize with your experience. I have cut friends off for being so ignorant of and unwilling to understand my culture. So is surely through a relationship away if my spouse fell into this category. I don’t blame Ryan. She has to have the wherewithal to navigate children through a POC experience.
Plus, the difference in health, finances, and religion just made them doomed before they got started.
Well that’s what he specifically asked for!!!! He preferred white and that’s what you got!!!! You can’t expect her to just get it!!! He should’ve educated her on things on the spot when she needed that particular understanding! He’s saying he wanted to wait to do it because he “knew where it could go”. Ok so it sounds to me like he knew that she might be racist or somehow intolerant or not understanding to racial issues, yet he still wanted her!!!! He’s a clown for that!! A self hating, thirsty fool that craves being in proximity to whiteness!!! All of this is a problem of his own making. Let him have it, he deserves it.
Giggling...excellent post.👍🏼
@@LisaLisa-qo8gt All of this crap about race and he expresses a preference to MARRY a white woman. Psychologically, that speaks to self hate. I don’t think he thought she was racist….He knew she was gonna bust him out on the lies about not having sex, then having it all the time. Cynically, this was his best comeback…induce race into the mix.
So his marriage with Clara didn’t work out bc she’s racist but he can be bffs with Erikkk no problem? Yeah ok Ryan
Hi Tamara!
Omg, there’s so much.
Ryan definitely played the race card. While his statements are true statements regarding interracial dating, he definitely tried to weaponize them against whatever may have been aired on the special. People in the comments saw right through it and ate him up about 1) Not even dating Black women and 2) Barely even having Black friends. So, what exactly does he want or expect??? Makes no sense, and I do not empathize, or sympathize, with him at all. Also, I’m so sick of people coming on MAFS, a show so popular at this point that it has a universe and fandom of its own, but not wanting to be transparent with the process. If you are so conservative that you want to lie to production about what’s actually happening in the marriage, then don’t get married to a stranger on national TV🙄
I felt this was a terrible match from the beginning. They were too different in very key was regarding religion, passion, career, sex and intimacy… pretty much everything. Clara is very “go with the flow” and Ryan is very rigid. Another fail by the experts that was doomed from the beginning thinking opposites will attract.
One thing about Charlie’s Angels (Clara, Virginia, & Hailey), they are going to ride for each other lol.
Addendum:
And another thing, I’m so glad Pastor Cal brought up how many Black men want to marry White women and how little that is reciprocated. Black men really act as though they are oblivious when it comes to the sensitive topic of interracial dating in this country and how their “preferences” are usually rooted in self-hate and colorism… but that’s another story💁🏿♂️
@@DCRefugee123 Thank you for the entire quote. I’m not surprised that the title was provocative b/c that’s what media does to draw in consumers. It is par for the course. However, even from the entire quote, my point does not change. Pastor Cal, in my opinion, chose his words very carefully to paint the picture without trying to blow up the spot lol. “We have ALL these guys”…going on to say how we’ve seen them in past seasons and quoting their preference of White women over their own race. This bit about Black women appeared to be a little cushion to me, so as not to be too controversial. We know what actually happens in society and the Black community, and Pastor Cal doesn’t have to draw it out completely. We see it with our eyes in videos, commercials, movies, tv shows, entertainment, our real lives….we hear it in music…there are documentaries…there are studies. It’s not a preference evenly represented amongst genders in our community. Even reality TV alone, the most recent season of the Bachelorette made history and showcased 5 Black people In the final episodes who were biracial, including the bachelorette, herself. Their parents were Black dad, White mom… You rarely see it the other way around.
So much going on here. I agree with your assessment. Plus I don't think he should not have gone on the show if he was looking for such a specific type of female. A religious white woman who seemingly has first hand knowledge of the "black experience."
Virginia and Claire are equally annoying. However, Ryan that race card you tried to pull is wack. If you’re THAT concerned, how about you date black women. Going out of your way to look as pro black as possible while dating everything BUT your own race is hypocritical.
I get Virginia is annoying but why should she butt out. If she was close enough friends to go pack up and move Clara out of Ryan's house then why should she not have Claras back? You better believe if my girlfriends ex-husband wrote a 9 page dis implying my gal a racist, you'd better believe I'd be sticking up for her. I mean if she wasn't close to Clara and inserted herself then I'd agree she needs to stay out if it, but obviously they grew close. Nobody takes their time off to go pack and move someone they aren't close to. So I give Virginia a pass on this one. And to be honest, I'm not a Virginia fan.
Wow! I hadn't looked at it this way but you are right! I'd probably do the same thing because it would look better coming from me than my friend. 🤔
But didn't Ryan specifically say he wasn't calling Clara a racist? Just unaware.
@@sissimpson you can't say all that he did and then say "I'm not calling her racist". Be honest if this were you and an exhusband made these statements about you, would you give him the grace to say, oh but he said at the very end he wasn't calling me a racist so it's all good? So those last words negate all the words before it? I think anyone who puts themselves in Claras shoes would think not. And coupled this with the info Virginia dropped, I think it's damn sad of him. Don't ask for a white woman (a woman outside your race) and then tell her she should just know your experiences. If he truly cared for her to learn he'd have been very open to having an honest discussion on the matter. So for me, he shuts her down and then goes on social media to disparage her. That was disgusting
Yeah I agree Virginia may always be in someone’s business but I feel like in this case she has the right to be, they’re obviously very close friends and she was there through all the drama so she knows firsthand what transpired
@@Lexielouwho Excellent points. 👍🏽
For one thing, I'm not educating you on the Black race.. No ma'am. Ryan got what he asked for. He was awkward as hell.
Seems that some of the participants might have considered therapy BEFORE they went on the show.
There are so many conservative men on the DL it’s crazy 😂😂
Whoa. Everything Ryan says I completely agree with and say Amen. But I have to wonder how much of this information lived only in his head and was never said aloud or shared. Or did he say a couple of things and got fed up, shut down and doomed the marriage? And did he ever love her at all? We'll never know. It's absolutely true Clara should have stepped up & out of her slacker ways to educate herself, but if they weren't well matched in the first place then none of it would have mattered. I also agree with Virginia, believe it or not. You can only learn so much from a book. I get what she was saying. Hearing that story about Ryan just sitting in his office while they helped move Clara out makes him look petty and spiteful. As great as his speech is he's a very flawed person too. They both need to zip it and call it a wash.🤐🤐
😂 I agree with you. The bottom line is that they were never a good match and they shouldn't have forced it to last as long as they did.
THIS!!! 👏🏽
It does help when a person has grown up in neighborhoods and schools with that other race and having friends in that race their entire life. So many unspoken rules and cultural aspects a person learns and ends up adopting so when they marry into that race, it just feels like second nature.
He’s mixed right?
@@cindyben3089 on the show it looked like both his parents are black.
Ryan states that Black culture isn't a monolith, yet Ryan wants Clara to understand the black experience? There can't be a 'black experience' if it isn't monolithic.
Let's just be honest. No one wants to hear a man openly complain. Especially about his woman
Ryan’s a whole trip!
Could Ryan be gay? Was Clara a scapegoat? I have no doubt she’s not racist, so…
I don’t know that Clara said anything terrible. Ryan jumped the gun with his little expose’. Everybody said from the beginning he was strange. Virginia is the one that comes out of this situation looking/sounding stupid. What has she got to do with any of this. Hate to say it but I think she was drinking during her video. Clara can speak for herself. I went to Ryan’s Instagram to read his letter after someone spoke of it on fb. Ryan has almost no Black people on it…especially women. And that’s ok but stop talking out of both sides of your mouth, Ryan.
Yeah, it seems like he wants to live out his "black experience" with non black people which is fine if he didn't make such a big deal about wanting his blackness understood.
More like he's talking out his ass.
He's very controlling. Why should she apologize for speaking her mind off camera to her friends? He's being completely unreasonable
🎯Very controlling❗️Things are on his time, his way. She didn’t mind talking about sex. Not clear where he was coming from. But…seems it was his bright idea to try to make himself look better by claiming they were having sex all along. She was right. That story didn’t track and she had every right to speak.
Insecure
Yep, insecure, too.
Damn, Ryan wrote a book. Don't have time to read.
I just want Virginia to mind her business! Ryan parents are both Pastors so I can see why he didn’t want certain things on tv…. I’m tired of them dragging it now
He’s gay and it’s obvious
Ryan asked for a white blonde woman and when he got it, he wants to throw race into it. Like what did he expect? Of course she doesn't understand the black experience, you two have very different cultures. For him to expect Clara to understand black culture going into this relationship is crazy. Ryan has no right to say what he said when all he's friends are white, and the only black people in he’s life is only family. I don't want to hear it. I felt he came up with an excuse for wanting a divorce because he sure can't tell people he was big mad STILL about the comments she made about them not being intimate yet. Idc what Ryan's perference is but, he cannot pull the race card when things don’t go his way because he is living he's life like a white male who occassionaly dabbles in the black culture. And wearing black lives matter or pro black tee shirts doesn't mask he's assimilation as a white man.
"Occasionally dabbles in Black Culture" I love it!!!
Clara said he never got over her conversation on tv. I don't really think race had anything to do with it. He probably never should have been on a reality tv show. Maybe his parents have too much influence on him. Who knows. I cannot stand when people bring race into a love relationship. If he wanted to please his famiky. And have no patience in one year. He should not have Asked for anyone but a black woman. It takes time to get used to marriage. With anyone. If you love someone you work it out. Every one has different problems. No one is the same. It takes work. If you want it . It works. The family will eventually come around. Or not.
I agree with you. He should not have been on a reality show about marriage & he should have known that. And if he's so together then why is he having trouble finding a wife, I wonder? He's intelligent, fit, makes money. That's appealing to many women. So what's the problem? Hopefully he finds out in therapy. Credit to all those who realize therapy might be a good idea after the show.
@@mariarohmer2374 👍💯agreement. Hope he heads to therapy to sort out unresolved issues he brought into the MAFS experience and lessons from the marriage.
I hope people don't hate me for this.
I actually have 2 points.
1st, regardless of race or ethnicity every person walking the Earth is having their own unique experience and when you become a partner to and with someone you can't expect them to inherently understand anything the exact same way you do even if you're the same race, age, from the sane town, went to the same schools and on. Even twins don't have identical experiences. Especially considering we are all constantly growing and evolving. That's part of what makes the journey together exciting, always learning more and deeper insights about the person you love.
2nd, my husband is Persian and I am not. Early on he would tell me about his upbringing, customs, beliefs and when I was young and naive I really believed I understood and grasped the Persian experience, until I met other Persians who had completely different upbringing, beliefs and even a few different customs. My point is, I needed him to teach me about what was important to him. Had I read what it meant to be Persian I would have seen him through the lens of someone else life. While there are many things that are shared in the Persian community and life, much like many of us think of Christ, red, green, snow, lights and mistletoe when we think of Christmas its only fair to have the depth of understanding that our idea of culture is heavily influenced by our unique upbringing. While many people can have similar experiences it would be a disservice to the individual souls we meet along the way to engage as though they are in a box we think we grasp, imposing our ideas of what we think we understand on them would be like imposing Douglass fir trees on people who prefer to celebrate Christmas with a palm tree.
This is why I personally really dislike labels and compartmentalizing people. I am adopted and don't entirely know what race I am. I love it. I tend to fit in everywhere I go because I dont label myself and prefer to see the similarities rather than the differenceces between myself and people I interact with. Its wonderful. Also, on my own face my color has changed through the years. Now, at my age, my face is multicolored. Which dark, freckled or spotted area, or lack thereof would someone pick to box me into their definition of who I am? Why limit my being? Adam and Eve carried the genetic possibilities for every race there would ever be. We are all brothers and sisters in my view. But yeah, if he wanted her to understand him and his family that was his responsibility. And if his family did cross the line talking about "giving him his gift" ewwwww, how incredibly tacky. Giving unsolicited advice to your son or daughter in law, or anyone, is presumptive and insulting even in the best conditions, let alone a daughter in law who's effectively just promised her life to a stranger. Thats not culture, thats a lack of class on their individual parts.
💜💜💜Love this! I agree with you. Everyone's experience with their particular culture is not the same...even for 2 people who grew up in the same culture. If someone chooses someone outside of their culture but wants them to be aware of it, there's nothing wrong with sharing/teaching their partner. I do believe that the other person should have do some research on the culture, so as not to be 100% clueless but there's nothing wrong with teaching.
Tamara ❤ totally agree with tge research part too! That's how I make some traditional food almost as good as his family 😁.
As a BW who have dated WM I completely understand where Ryan is coming from. Honestly it's not my job to teach you about racism when your ancestors were they ones who started it. It's exhausting! I'm so over people who need to be spoonfed information on racism. I try not to date WM unless they're very "woke". But since Ryan only dates WW he should know this 🤔 Virginia needs to mind her business!
I said from the match show they were interracial confusion. He seems very confused about who he is, where and what he wants to identify as and she is too. Clara appeared to be needy, thirsty with very few goals/life plans besides having a good time...never mind that she appeared ditzy and airheaded to his straight laced seriousness. Im tired of the both of them and dont understnd at all y Ryan with his personality did the show. And as for Lushy Linda...be concerned about your own relationships, mental health, maturity and excessive drinking🙄
Popular TikTok “ he don’t date black women , because he date boys “ 🤷🏽♀️ he needs to find true self love and go from there
Virginia has no room to talk.
Here's a real test in the "racism via ignorance" matter...will you continue to request white women only...are you now open to a woman who has lived your black experience?
I applaud him for having that conversation. Most interracial couples avoid them. Now I will say he missed a powerful moment to educate people
I didn't know Ryan was Black...🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
HE WAS A WEIRD DUDE.
I thought he was white and then he said he was biracial I was like hmm I can see it a bit now that he said it. But I really thought he was white, maybe the hair and his behaviors leaned more in that direction.
I knew he was black the entire time
So… most comments state that Ryan specifically asked for a white woman. How do we know that this is true?
For sure , for sure , for sure , for sure , for sure , for sure , for sure , for sure , for sure , for sure. can't stand that dude lol
🤣🤣🤣That's my jam!
@@TamaraLynetteTales driving me nuts every time he would say that
Just the scoop I been waiting for 🍵
Nine page IG post 🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Fellatio is a gift?! To the guy? Well ,well, people do have their opinions don't they. 😆🤣🤣😆
Tamara is my girl. She always gives us the Piping Hot Tea. And I Love to take a Sip.
🤣🤣🤣 Thanks for coming back for more! 🍵
Virginia so aggy
I came just to comment.... so DAMN AGGIE
With her drunk azz…she couldn’t manage her own damn relationship!🤷🏽♀️
The truth 🤣
ryan was just weird .i felt sorry for Clara ,she got the wrong black man. how many black men you kmow that go 4-8 weeks without touching some part of the female body.?he was too strange
Why are they going back n forth. A blind man can see he never liked the girl, they didn’t seem to connect on any level or topic. Clara could be a nice person but the girl but not for Ryan.. he needs to figure himself out
I feel the pain. I'm from Colorado & my wife is from Texas. Talk about a vast cultural gap...they talk strange and eat food that make me want to throw up at the table like grits & black eyed peas. And all they can talk about is the Dallas Cowboys (my least favorite team after the Raiders) and the Longhorns and Trump. Whats worse is that when we get back to Colorado she starts with "youall until I take belt to her. And she doesn't accept my culture..refuses to cheer the Broncs and complain about the cold...and snow. What would happen if we have kids? Will they grow up singing "Deep in the heart of Texas" Will they hate skiing? Will the genetics mean that their first word will be "You all"' What a horror show!
Just too hard. When I start over I plan to stick with my own culture.
Just too damn hard to try cross culture "experiments"
🤣🤣🤣Exactly!
😅
I kind of felt Clara was close minded with his race. This isn’t shocking.
Ryan why not marry a Black woman.?
Bc he has identity issues. He didn’t say I am open to all races he requested a ww.
Question of the day. 🤔
Because he didn’t want to.
We don't want him.
Sounds like he just had major control issues
Pastor Cal told nothing but the truth and now Ryan crying crocodile tears. He shot the arrow at Clara and it missed and hit him. Virginia need to get a life she is mad that her ex paying her no mind and wants to keep her 15min of fame and then complain about anxiety 😒 when people drag her girl bye. Clara just sit and eat your good all things come to light