I told my fiance straight up before when we got engaged to not expect my parents to pay for our wedding. I just don't feel like it should be EXPECTED to pay for our entire wedding. I just don't think it's fair and it shouldn't be assumed the bride's family will be paying for everything. Overall couples should talk to their parents if they're willing to help them financial but it annoys me when people assume because a daughter is getting married her parents pay.
It's definitely becoming less common that the bride's family pays for the wedding day. I do find that more couples are now paying for the wedding day themselves and families might chip in a little or sometimes not at all.
Totally agree! My fiancé and I saved up for all the necessary expenses and then told our family if they wanted to contribute it would be greatly appreciated and go towards extra splurges/upgrades.
I did the same! We planned our budget as though we would be paying for everything. And then my fiancé's parents offered to pay for rehearsal dinner and my parents offered to pay for the food being served at our wedding. Honestly was not expecting anyone to help us and was so surprised and grateful when they offered to pay for what they did.
This video is refreshing. As you said, once you know the "rules", you can break them. I can't tell you how many bridal groups I'm in where there are frequent questions about who historically paid for what. Even if things are different now, there is a certain comfort that comes with knowing the tradition as a baseline, so that you can then adjust it to what works for you.
Thanks Caitlin! There are so many traditions and "shoulds" around weddings that rarely apply to everyone's unique situations. Times are always changing and it's important for everyone to know that wedding "rules" should be flexible!
Hey, can you explain in detail why in the USA the Bride’s family is paying and where did fall out of fashion? …I think your accent is from USA so will love to hear from you!
It evolved from the dowry tradition. Nowadays, that's somewhat gone away as in some examples where the groom's family has a lot more money it makes sense they could pay for more than traditionally done. Some couples are also paying for their own wedding for many reasons.
Great video. Daughter getting married. His side will have 125 people, our side 3 people. Struggling with the idea of how much we should pay for the wedding.
That's a tough one. I had a wedding last summer that was very extravagant and it was paid for by the groom's family. It's definitely becoming more common to break from tradition. You could come up with a specific dollar amount you are comfortable contributing and leave it up to the couple to ask the groom's parents if they would like to contribute as well. Hope that helps!
My parents and his went half half ! 🙏🏼
I totally agree that there are no “rules”, whatever works for you !
That's awesome, totally equal!
I told my fiance straight up before when we got engaged to not expect my parents to pay for our wedding. I just don't feel like it should be EXPECTED to pay for our entire wedding. I just don't think it's fair and it shouldn't be assumed the bride's family will be paying for everything. Overall couples should talk to their parents if they're willing to help them financial but it annoys me when people assume because a daughter is getting married her parents pay.
It's definitely becoming less common that the bride's family pays for the wedding day. I do find that more couples are now paying for the wedding day themselves and families might chip in a little or sometimes not at all.
Totally agree! My fiancé and I saved up for all the necessary expenses and then told our family if they wanted to contribute it would be greatly appreciated and go towards extra splurges/upgrades.
I did the same! We planned our budget as though we would be paying for everything. And then my fiancé's parents offered to pay for rehearsal dinner and my parents offered to pay for the food being served at our wedding. Honestly was not expecting anyone to help us and was so surprised and grateful when they offered to pay for what they did.
This video is refreshing. As you said, once you know the "rules", you can break them. I can't tell you how many bridal groups I'm in where there are frequent questions about who historically paid for what. Even if things are different now, there is a certain comfort that comes with knowing the tradition as a baseline, so that you can then adjust it to what works for you.
Thanks Caitlin! There are so many traditions and "shoulds" around weddings that rarely apply to everyone's unique situations. Times are always changing and it's important for everyone to know that wedding "rules" should be flexible!
Thank you for this... I have no idea what I'm doing haha
You can do it!
Hey, can you explain in detail why in the USA the Bride’s family is paying and where did fall out of fashion? …I think your accent is from USA so will love to hear from you!
It evolved from the dowry tradition. Nowadays, that's somewhat gone away as in some examples where the groom's family has a lot more money it makes sense they could pay for more than traditionally done. Some couples are also paying for their own wedding for many reasons.
Great video. Daughter getting married. His side will have 125 people, our side 3 people. Struggling with the idea of how much we should pay for the wedding.
That's a tough one. I had a wedding last summer that was very extravagant and it was paid for by the groom's family. It's definitely becoming more common to break from tradition. You could come up with a specific dollar amount you are comfortable contributing and leave it up to the couple to ask the groom's parents if they would like to contribute as well. Hope that helps!
His side should pay 100%!!
This is all crazy to me, so ppl traditionally expect for their family to cover the costs of your decision to marry 🤯
It’s not necessarily expected. It’s just what’s been traditional.