Inertia and a sense of drift are frequent problems for autistic people. We can do the same things for years not just because we think those things are good, enjoyable or productive but simply through habit and routine. Sometimes we make a conscious decision to change but other times we need to be jolted into doing things differently. A change in life such as a new job, new relationship, new home or even the symbolism of a new year can cause the change. Often it's not as difficult as it once seemed but that's with the benefit of hindsight and at the time it often seems intimidating which is why it tends not to happen.
God i feel exactly the same about exercise! I've tried to explain to people and they never seem to believe me when i say i genuinely do not feel emotionally ANY different after exercising. It's horrible. And yeah, I've never really successfully formed a habit. I've accidentally done it, wirh stuff i either shouldn't do or that's neutral, but I've never really managed to make anything i want to do into a habit. Ive been trying to stretch every day for... Three years? And i STILL only do it if its on my to so list and im making a deliberate effort to do EVERYTHING on the list AND if nothing gets in the way.
Im so glad to hear about other people feeling like that! People act like I must magically feel better and I’m like I feel like I did before but now I’m sweaty 😂
this reminds me of the way i felt in the jobs i've had in the past. i never "got used to it", i never "get used to" things. i can't cope for very long doing anything i don't want to before my mental and physical health dips, and it's been the worse with jobs because it never becomes routine, it's never less tiring or less stressful the longer i'm there, which is what people always tell me will happen. that i'll grow out of things, learn to deal with them, they'll get easier, i'll get used to it, i'll learn and figure it out on my own - it's rarely been true for me though. jobs are hell for this reason; i can't get used to things, and the mental struggle that comes with doing something i don't want to or that harms me emotionally or physically doesn't ease up, it just gets worse.
I love this content! ..... now, about doing things. For most of my life I honestly thought that everyone had a little list in their head that contained steps for doing things like making tea as you described. I have to do most things a certain way every time. What is worse is when I watch other people doing it "wrong." It is quite disturbing watching other people do things in another way. Part of my mask is to tell myself silently -- "everyone has their own way of doing things, don't get upset." That usually works so I don't freak out. But, when I'm doing it I still have my little invisible check list.
I’ve literally trained myself to be unobservant of other people so I don’t have to see them doing things wrong, even though 95% of the time it’s stuff that doesn’t even have a right or wrong way of being done so long as it gets done! Sometimes it’s great because I don’t notice if my friends are unmasked and doing something ‘out of the norm’ but other times if someone says ‘do it like you just saw me do it’ I have to be like oh sorry I paid no attention to what you were doing 😅
Holy crap. This sums up my struggles. I would always talk about it with people but they would never fully understand my problems. They just assume that I’m lazy at the moment that I should just push myself, which isn’t the case most of the time.
I’ve also been consistently accused of just being lazy when I’m pretty sure I’m trying just as hard as any ‘successful’ person and just not getting anywhere!
Im really considering getting one of those straw necklaces you can suck on as a stim to replace cigarettes, but the ones I wouldn’t be embarrassed to wear are quite expensive!
I quit about 2 months ago aswell! I quit because of health OCD, so smoking again to take care of my stims is almost not an option and i do not know how to take care of my stims after masking for basicly all my life. I feel so so bad most of the time cus of it but who knows it might get better! I have started stimming again atleast when i remember.
Do most people mean that something is no longer a conscious effort and that it's something they enjoy and feel positive motivation and/or enthusiasm to do when they say something is a habit then? I've always been of the understanding that it just means 'something you do regularly' and that a lot of people are having to force themselves to do the thing. If you're right then that's a bit of a revelation for me!
@@SmallSpoonBrigadeSo, do you mean that there are things that you cannot manage to do regularly but when you do them you can do them without much thought into the process but then there are other things that you do regularly but find the process of doing more difficult? Would you consider either of these to be habits? Now that I’ve started thinking about it, I’m quite intrigued about how different people relate to and think about habits, I wish I could go around asking everyone but I’m pretty sure that’s not the sort of question we’re supposed to randomly ask people 😆
I see that a lot of us LOVE cola of some kind. Pepsi and so on. That's all I drink ALL day long. Is this super common among other autistic people out there? And yes I'm autistic. I do hate water, it makes me feel just sick inside.
I made a TikTok about this a while ago and got some VERY strong comments from autistic people that only drink/enjoy water 😂 I think a lot of us just have a thing that is the ‘safe’ thing to drink and only drink that thing, be it a soft drink, juice, tea, water etc
I often hear 'do something enough and it'll be a habit like brushing your teeth...' and every time I think about how much effort I've put in over the years to make sure I brush routinely. Even now, if I get poorly or really tired, I'll just fall asleep without doing it, though now I have disclosure tablets that turn dental plaque purple that I make myself use if I sleep without so I can see and handle any problem areas.
Before I gave up tea entirely I was drinking about 50 cups a day. 4 cups per 1 tea bag. I had been drinking tea from a very early age, so young in fact that I can't remember when I started. I gave up sugar in tea at the age of 5.
recent late asd diag. (Oct. 6 last year, 51 yo) I don't know if this would help anyone with similar struggles, but even though I absolutely LOVED art, it hurt BAD every time! Discovering stable diffusion really might have saved my life! As much as it meant to me on every level, many days trying to sketch ONE PICTURE would leave me realing and out of breath and wheezy all day... but ever since stable diffusion I can leasurely churn out dozens of what I'd too often torture myself forcing myself to do, but it's helped me also cut down on hoarding comic books and being so anxious to play video games and watch as many movies even! I'm semi exhausted from this post (and one I put on Paiges heehee) so I can't even care about all the spelling errors and whatsuch heehee If you can't afford the art you love STABLE DIFFUSION!!!!! (not a paid endorsement heehee)
I totally understand the liquids thing. I have gone back and forth of drinking too much or forgetting to drink at all. I've wondered if it may be an indicator of how well I'm doing with stress, etc. I hope you can replace smoking with something less harmful. I quit smoking a long time ago, but I went back to nicotine after a few years. 🤦
I’ve wondered about that too, I’m doing great with drinking water while at home, but when I’m busier and more stressed and out the house more we’ll see if I’ve really made it a habit or not 😅
I drank a lot of water for most of my life. Then the city put in new pipes and the water source changed. Now the water tastes gross. So I got used to drinking juice and soda. For about 5 years. So now I am trying to set up a system of herbal tea flavored water with no sweeteners.
You may try some water drinking app.... made me drink water, for half a year 😄, as much as I hold it inside, drinking enough water makes using toilets a necessity ( that takes some mental spoons away) - as you can't hold it in till home anymore, when drinking a lot of water. My partying with alcohol habit was broken by tea. When I stopped drinking alcohol at parties, I replaced it with tea. Since it is difficult for people to get used to the fact that the person next to them does not drink anything while they drink alcohol.
I’ve tried so many apps over the years, I either get annoyed by them or just fully forget about them 😂 Getting myself a cute lil bottle has by far worked best for me!
So you need a change of scenery or environment to make another change or transition? You could try swapping out the cigarette between filming and editing for a short walk? Likewise to change a habit maybe do a bit of couch surfing or AirBNB or roadtrip whenever you need to transition into a different habit?
I now refer to it as my “emotional support water bottle” , it has a nifty little handle/loop to carry it by. smoking is a definite stim* but I’d argue it’s better than vapes-cuz popcornLung and all. I think nicotine is one of those things- it IS a stimulant after all. Once I quit, I really stopped socializing or rather…. Even TRYING to 😂 🤷♀️
Im gonna crochet a holder to keep it with me at all times 😂 I roll my own cigarette too, so there’s a whole routine to it as well as the stim. I defo don’t want to promote either, neither is healthy or good for you, but I do think I’m better off smoking than vaping 😅
Wait, do you not have autopilot for any tasks? Thanks in advance for comments. I'm nt and know a lot about autism, but your experience about having to think about each step when making tea every time is new to me. If you don't have autopilot for anything, that must be incredibly exhausting! For anyone that drives, do you get autopilot for that, or is it as cognitively taxing as it was at the beginning?
Yeah, I had no idea people genuinely had auto pilot for ages I thought it was just some weird saying I didn’t get! Making tea is the example I use most often, but when I cycled to and from school I fell off my bike a LOT because I had to think about every leg movement and balancing myself and if I forgot to focus on my legs my feet would slip off the pedals, it was a whole thing for me. It all is very exhausting!
I used a water bottle to get me drinking water regularly - I used to get so dehydrated when I was teaching because I'd just either not notice I was thirsty or ignore the feeling because I was hyperfocused! I used to drink cordial because I hated plain water, but I weaned myself off gradually & now water is ok if it's filtered. Maybe some habits are easier to fit into a daily routine than others?
Big thing helped me, I used to drink far to many energy and fizzy drinks, so I was like fuck this i need to drink more water. So I did a personal challenge for myself, I then only drank water for a month. Since then I dont drink fizzy drinks asmuch and use it as a treat rather than an every day thing. It was fucking hard, people dont realise how addicting fizzy drinks are, its nuts, after the first few days it eased.
I would say 1/3. I love sparkling water and juice but it gives me heartburn. Both the juice and the carbonation. I am trying to replace it with herbal tea flavored water. I like some herbal teas without sugar and I don't mind the flavor being diluted. So I make a cup of herbal tea and dump it in a big jug of water. Then I can't taste the water anymore. I hope this works. The water doesn't taste good where I live.@@SmallSpoonBrigade
@Lilycat5 nah, I vape pure bud not thc in glycerin or whatever they are putting in the pens. Vaping bud is definitely a better alternative to smoking with tobacco as your investing less carcinogenic burning plant matter.
@@DanaAndersen that just ruins my good girl, Liverpulian young lady in a sundays song, cutest thing in Britain, I'm gonna have to go cape and recover 😢
Vaping is probably worse for you than smoking. Preliminary reports seem to indicate this.The tobacco industry has put out a lot of propaganda to keep people hooked on nicotine.
Also I do remember on one of your other videos thinking "That sounds like OCD and not Autistic traits" though without knowing you its hard to tell ofcourse! I found your channel the other day and it is so good! I love your videos so far!
Inertia and a sense of drift are frequent problems for autistic people. We can do the same things for years not just because we think those things are good, enjoyable or productive but simply through habit and routine. Sometimes we make a conscious decision to change but other times we need to be jolted into doing things differently. A change in life such as a new job, new relationship, new home or even the symbolism of a new year can cause the change. Often it's not as difficult as it once seemed but that's with the benefit of hindsight and at the time it often seems intimidating which is why it tends not to happen.
God i feel exactly the same about exercise! I've tried to explain to people and they never seem to believe me when i say i genuinely do not feel emotionally ANY different after exercising. It's horrible.
And yeah, I've never really successfully formed a habit. I've accidentally done it, wirh stuff i either shouldn't do or that's neutral, but I've never really managed to make anything i want to do into a habit. Ive been trying to stretch every day for... Three years? And i STILL only do it if its on my to so list and im making a deliberate effort to do EVERYTHING on the list AND if nothing gets in the way.
Im so glad to hear about other people feeling like that! People act like I must magically feel better and I’m like I feel like I did before but now I’m sweaty 😂
this reminds me of the way i felt in the jobs i've had in the past. i never "got used to it", i never "get used to" things. i can't cope for very long doing anything i don't want to before my mental and physical health dips, and it's been the worse with jobs because it never becomes routine, it's never less tiring or less stressful the longer i'm there, which is what people always tell me will happen. that i'll grow out of things, learn to deal with them, they'll get easier, i'll get used to it, i'll learn and figure it out on my own - it's rarely been true for me though. jobs are hell for this reason; i can't get used to things, and the mental struggle that comes with doing something i don't want to or that harms me emotionally or physically doesn't ease up, it just gets worse.
I love this content! ..... now, about doing things. For most of my life I honestly thought that everyone had a little list in their head that contained steps for doing things like making tea as you described. I have to do most things a certain way every time. What is worse is when I watch other people doing it "wrong." It is quite disturbing watching other people do things in another way. Part of my mask is to tell myself silently -- "everyone has their own way of doing things, don't get upset." That usually works so I don't freak out. But, when I'm doing it I still have my little invisible check list.
I’ve literally trained myself to be unobservant of other people so I don’t have to see them doing things wrong, even though 95% of the time it’s stuff that doesn’t even have a right or wrong way of being done so long as it gets done!
Sometimes it’s great because I don’t notice if my friends are unmasked and doing something ‘out of the norm’ but other times if someone says ‘do it like you just saw me do it’ I have to be like oh sorry I paid no attention to what you were doing 😅
Holy crap. This sums up my struggles. I would always talk about it with people but they would never fully understand my problems. They just assume that I’m lazy at the moment that I should just push myself, which isn’t the case most of the time.
I’ve also been consistently accused of just being lazy when I’m pretty sure I’m trying just as hard as any ‘successful’ person and just not getting anywhere!
Recently quit cigarettes. About 2 months without. I’m realizing part of what’s been hard. Cigarettes took care of my stims.
Im really considering getting one of those straw necklaces you can suck on as a stim to replace cigarettes, but the ones I wouldn’t be embarrassed to wear are quite expensive!
I quit about 2 months ago aswell! I quit because of health OCD, so smoking again to take care of my stims is almost not an option and i do not know how to take care of my stims after masking for basicly all my life.
I feel so so bad most of the time cus of it but who knows it might get better! I have started stimming again atleast when i remember.
Do most people mean that something is no longer a conscious effort and that it's something they enjoy and feel positive motivation and/or enthusiasm to do when they say something is a habit then? I've always been of the understanding that it just means 'something you do regularly' and that a lot of people are having to force themselves to do the thing. If you're right then that's a bit of a revelation for me!
@@SmallSpoonBrigadeSo, do you mean that there are things that you cannot manage to do regularly but when you do them you can do them without much thought into the process but then there are other things that you do regularly but find the process of doing more difficult? Would you consider either of these to be habits? Now that I’ve started thinking about it, I’m quite intrigued about how different people relate to and think about habits, I wish I could go around asking everyone but I’m pretty sure that’s not the sort of question we’re supposed to randomly ask people 😆
Grats on the water drinking, struggled with it myself a lot 🙈
Thank you! It’s been like 3 days, but I’m doing it! 😂
I see that a lot of us LOVE cola of some kind. Pepsi and so on. That's all I drink ALL day long. Is this super common among other autistic people out there? And yes I'm autistic. I do hate water, it makes me feel just sick inside.
I made a TikTok about this a while ago and got some VERY strong comments from autistic people that only drink/enjoy water 😂 I think a lot of us just have a thing that is the ‘safe’ thing to drink and only drink that thing, be it a soft drink, juice, tea, water etc
I often hear 'do something enough and it'll be a habit like brushing your teeth...' and every time I think about how much effort I've put in over the years to make sure I brush routinely. Even now, if I get poorly or really tired, I'll just fall asleep without doing it, though now I have disclosure tablets that turn dental plaque purple that I make myself use if I sleep without so I can see and handle any problem areas.
Before I gave up tea entirely I was drinking about 50 cups a day. 4 cups per 1 tea bag. I had been drinking tea from a very early age, so young in fact that I can't remember when I started. I gave up sugar in tea at the age of 5.
I don’t remember when I started drinking tea either! It was just what everyone in my house other than my dad drank, so I did too 😂
recent late asd diag. (Oct. 6 last year, 51 yo) I don't know if this would help anyone with similar struggles, but even though I absolutely LOVED art, it hurt BAD every time! Discovering stable diffusion really might have saved my life! As much as it meant to me on every level, many days trying to sketch ONE PICTURE would leave me realing and out of breath and wheezy all day... but ever since stable diffusion I can leasurely churn out dozens of what I'd too often torture myself forcing myself to do, but it's helped me also cut down on hoarding comic books and being so anxious to play video games and watch as many movies even! I'm semi exhausted from this post (and one I put on Paiges heehee) so I can't even care about all the spelling errors and whatsuch heehee If you can't afford the art you love STABLE DIFFUSION!!!!! (not a paid endorsement heehee)
I totally understand the liquids thing. I have gone back and forth of drinking too much or forgetting to drink at all. I've wondered if it may be an indicator of how well I'm doing with stress, etc.
I hope you can replace smoking with something less harmful. I quit smoking a long time ago, but I went back to nicotine after a few years. 🤦
I’ve wondered about that too, I’m doing great with drinking water while at home, but when I’m busier and more stressed and out the house more we’ll see if I’ve really made it a habit or not 😅
I drank a lot of water for most of my life. Then the city put in new pipes and the water source changed. Now the water tastes gross.
So I got used to drinking juice and soda. For about 5 years. So now I am trying to set up a system of herbal tea flavored water with no sweeteners.
You may try some water drinking app.... made me drink water, for half a year 😄, as much as I hold it inside, drinking enough water makes using toilets a necessity ( that takes some mental spoons away) - as you can't hold it in till home anymore, when drinking a lot of water.
My partying with alcohol habit was broken by tea. When I stopped drinking alcohol at parties, I replaced it with tea. Since it is difficult for people to get used to the fact that the person next to them does not drink anything while they drink alcohol.
I’ve tried so many apps over the years, I either get annoyed by them or just fully forget about them 😂 Getting myself a cute lil bottle has by far worked best for me!
@@DanaAndersen In water drinking MODE I somehow managed to put on a "publictoilet_mask", but still, I think that was the hardest part.
So you need a change of scenery or environment to make another change or transition? You could try swapping out the cigarette between filming and editing for a short walk?
Likewise to change a habit maybe do a bit of couch surfing or AirBNB or roadtrip whenever you need to transition into a different habit?
You killin these videos. Happy New Year. Blue color is amazing
Thank you! Happy new year to you too, I hope it treats you kindly!
I now refer to it as my “emotional support water bottle” , it has a nifty little handle/loop to carry it by.
smoking is a definite stim* but I’d argue it’s better than vapes-cuz popcornLung and all. I think nicotine is one of those things- it IS a stimulant after all. Once I quit, I really stopped socializing or rather…. Even TRYING to 😂 🤷♀️
Im gonna crochet a holder to keep it with me at all times 😂
I roll my own cigarette too, so there’s a whole routine to it as well as the stim. I defo don’t want to promote either, neither is healthy or good for you, but I do think I’m better off smoking than vaping 😅
Wait, do you not have autopilot for any tasks? Thanks in advance for comments.
I'm nt and know a lot about autism, but your experience about having to think about each step when making tea every time is new to me.
If you don't have autopilot for anything, that must be incredibly exhausting!
For anyone that drives, do you get autopilot for that, or is it as cognitively taxing as it was at the beginning?
Yeah, I had no idea people genuinely had auto pilot for ages I thought it was just some weird saying I didn’t get! Making tea is the example I use most often, but when I cycled to and from school I fell off my bike a LOT because I had to think about every leg movement and balancing myself and if I forgot to focus on my legs my feet would slip off the pedals, it was a whole thing for me.
It all is very exhausting!
I used a water bottle to get me drinking water regularly - I used to get so dehydrated when I was teaching because I'd just either not notice I was thirsty or ignore the feeling because I was hyperfocused! I used to drink cordial because I hated plain water, but I weaned myself off gradually & now water is ok if it's filtered. Maybe some habits are easier to fit into a daily routine than others?
Love your content❤️
Big thing helped me, I used to drink far to many energy and fizzy drinks, so I was like fuck this i need to drink more water. So I did a personal challenge for myself, I then only drank water for a month. Since then I dont drink fizzy drinks asmuch and use it as a treat rather than an every day thing.
It was fucking hard, people dont realise how addicting fizzy drinks are, its nuts, after the first few days it eased.
I would say 1/3. I love sparkling water and juice but it gives me heartburn. Both the juice and the carbonation.
I am trying to replace it with herbal tea flavored water. I like some herbal teas without sugar and I don't mind the flavor being diluted. So I make a cup of herbal tea and dump it in a big jug of water. Then I can't taste the water anymore. I hope this works. The water doesn't taste good where I live.@@SmallSpoonBrigade
Hey Dana! I was a smoker for years, it definitely helped me cope. Now I vape thc (only thing that helps my meltdowns) ❤
Every vape I’ve tried has had me coughing so hard I feel sick or I’d be there with ya 😂💕
@DanaAndersen so I vape bud! I have a pax and it's amazingggggg. Highly recommended if it's something you use x
Vaping is similar to smoking and probably worse for you.
@Lilycat5 nah, I vape pure bud not thc in glycerin or whatever they are putting in the pens. Vaping bud is definitely a better alternative to smoking with tobacco as your investing less carcinogenic burning plant matter.
Ingesting*
smoking? or vaping? hopefully not actually smoking
Actually smoking 😅 I tried a vape once and nearly coughed up a lung
@@DanaAndersen that just ruins my good girl, Liverpulian young lady in a sundays song, cutest thing in Britain, I'm gonna have to go cape and recover 😢
Vaping is probably worse for you than smoking. Preliminary reports seem to indicate this.The tobacco industry has put out a lot of propaganda to keep people hooked on nicotine.
Vaping is just as bad for you or worse than smoking. Preliminary studies suggest vaping is worse for you.
BS I feel 10x better after quitting smoking and my lung capacity also 10x better. It's just water vapor@@Catlily5
Vaping is a heck of a lot cheaper.
I tried a friends vape a while ago and it triggered my asthma 🫠 No idea why actual smoking doesn’t but vapes do lmao
And worse for you.
@@DanaAndersen Is it all vapes or just the one you tried?
Meow
havnt watched the whole thing yet but yeah the no ocd when being autistic thing if def not correct! I am diagnosed with both autism and OCD.
Also I do remember on one of your other videos thinking "That sounds like OCD and not Autistic traits" though without knowing you its hard to tell ofcourse!
I found your channel the other day and it is so good! I love your videos so far!