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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or sanity. It's a subtle yet damaging tactic that can leave you feeling confused, invalidated, and powerless.
This tactic is frequently employed by narcissists and is prevalent in situations of narcissistic abuse. However, it's important to note that it can also occur in interactions with individuals who aren't narcissistic.
So, in this video, we're breaking down what gaslighting is and shedding light on how to respond to it. From recognizing manipulation tactics to understanding gaslighting's impact, we're here to provide practical advice on how to stop gaslighting in any situation.
#gaslighting #manipulation
Writer: Sid Thompson
Editor: Vanessa Tao
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Fleur Amodia (new animator)
TH-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
Mindbodygreen. (2021, April 27). What Do You Say When Someone’s Gaslighting You? A Therapist’s Go-To Comebacks. www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-deal-with-gaslighting
Raypole, C. (2021, September 9). Think You’re Being Gaslit? Here’s How to Respond. Healthline. www.healthline.com/health/how-to-deal-with-gaslighting#involve-others
Rodríguez, G. S. (2021, May 14). Gaslighting: How to Recognize it and What to Say When it Happens. The Psychology Group Fort Lauderdale. thepsychologygroup.com/gaslighting-how-to-recognize-it-and-what-to-say-when-it-happens/
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I was wondering if you could make a video talking about how to respond to Gaslighting when it comes to parents? Because with these sure they help... but not in my sense with how my mom is... If i try to walk away or stick up for myself it only makes it worst for me... She ends up making me feel like a horrible person for doing so... Do you have any tips on that?
How do you handle a Gaslighter who you really cannot afford in any way to walk away from? Thank you for this. I love Psychology and love to learn something new about it! ❤😂
I don't any chance
Thats right @@arjaymartin0701
@@M.A.Sunflower simple, abandon them in the woods, wait for the wolves to get them, and sell the organs on the dark web
If someone tries to gaslight me, then at least I’ll have my very own alternate reality tour guide.
😂❤
Wow a whole world where I'm in the wrong all the time 😮 fascinating, I'm interested
@@akashasteele8943 Sounds like my ex-girlfriend, ngl. (affectionate/derogatory)
Gaslighting doesn’t work on me because im as stubborn as brick wall
that’s awesome!!! i’m a dancer and my teachers are really toxic and one of them lives off gaslighting and it’s gotten really bad lately where she’s even started talking to the younger classes badly. it’s built my confidence and helped me stand up against her better but it’s still debilitating on the inside and i feel like i’m going crazy, especially because some of the kids around me give in and think they need to listen to her
@@cardigan_24 I’m a dancer too and that sounds like dance moms honey if I were you I’d report her to the board of education and directors and the BBB Better Business Bureau
lol I am too but they can find ways to! Always be on your guard 💂 around them!
@@Richiko06 it really is like dance moms now it’s crazy! it never used to be like this. also she’s not the studio owner and idk we’ve just known them all for so long it would be weird to report her. i graduate soon anyway and we’re not going back so it’s fine
Ur amazing!! (:
This channel has made me realize I am not the problem, that when I end up lashing out at the narc its because I'm at the end of my rope and not because its my actual nature. That if i stop allowing their threats to bother me, whether they follow through or not is going to drive them more nuts than me. I am a good person, with a big heart and their attempts at invalidation are useless, much like them.
TOTALLY. Thet get off with that and we suffer as be try to stablish limits that will never be respected. Best solution is to walk away if possible or minimizing the interactions at all costs if not possible acting like a grey rock; you know your value and the other person won't see it, accepting that is hard but also key with this kind of people.
me because i’m worried IM the one gaslighting so i’m watching this to try to stop:
Its a great step , we all have diffrent habits we must question ourself.
its amazing you are trying to understand yourself great step!
That’s amazing ❤ keep it up! A true narcissist wouldn’t see where they’re wrong but you do and that speaks volumes. Anyone can change through the power and faith of Jesus Christ
I know we all at one point have done things to get what we want including manipulating people I know how to because I had a narcissistic step dad and a few exes including an ex fiancee and I’ve repented of any form of manipulation a long time ago and I don’t allow myself to go through it again and I protect loved ones from it.
I wish there were more people like you ngl 😂
I'm watching this cause my mom has been gaslighting my whole life so I had no confidence or trust in myself. After I went to boarding school and haven't been living with her I've become much more confident and started trusting myself more. I'm sure all my problems and diagnoses come from childhood trauma from her and my dad. I wouldn't have had this amount of flaws and problems if it weren't for her I'm certain
Oh yes, I know that, except I'm still 16 and thus forced to live with my parents. It's such a shame that I can't be brought to safety!
My mom keeps gaslighting me,I already gave up on my life because whenever I try to tell her the truth she always tells what she believes and states this as true, but that's false man. But now I've just given up my life on just listening to her and just telling "yeah you're right" because I'm soo tired fighting with this. I just can't take this anymore. Im just empty.
Hey I'm in the same situation. How old are you? I'm 17 now. Try to keep going. I know it's terribly hard, the thing keeping us going must be that we'll be able to move out someday. I know the struggle of our gaslighting parents. But try thinking of it this way: if you keep going you have the possibility to prove them wrong and to show her that you can live your life so much better without her manipulative ass. Try to talk about your experiences with your friends I'm sure someone will give you comfort while you still live at home
@@kittykook737 yeah.. I'm 15, I actually talk about this with my girlfriend... But it makes me mad when my mom tries to shut me up when I'm trying to tell the truth! She thinks everything is going by her way. But that's not true.
You should research being the “Scapegoat” in families. When you grow up and get older, the families you create become more important then the family you come from. Just know it is not your fault or responsibility to teach adults. They should be showing you the the love and compassion you deserve. Stay strong! Be confident and love yourself.
I’m 28 and I’m in your position as well. Been in it since I was 16. I won’t go into too much detail. But I have a disability that involves the brain, and it causes A LOT of set backs, and health issues. Because of this, I obviously have issues in life in general. One of the main issues I have is memory. I have a really hard time remember things, and other things, I don’t. There are many times where my family has used my disability as a liability, and therefore, my memory is not accurate. They remember events that happened in their minds, when I know for a fact that certain things happened in a different way. There are just some things people say or do that you just never forget. Believe me. However I always get teamed up by my family thinking my memory is wrong, and being reminded of “who has the memory issue again”. As I got older, things had gotten worse. Again, I won’t go too much into detail. But because mostly of my disability, my family has basically made me live in, what I call a glass house. Where you’re trapped, but can make dents in. If that makes sense. I’m in a spot where because of my disability, I’m judged by the disability, and not the person with it. So my parents have power of attorney over me, and things in their names for me. Which is nice to a degree. But also feels restricting. It’s definitely a war each day. But I always have hope that the war will be over soon.
Pretty exact same thing happened with me and my step dad (still on going unfortunately) I’m also 15 but I know at some point either they’ll change or eventually I’ll be able to distance myself from him
after dealing with a gaslighter and an emotional manipulator for three years, i finally moved on leaving her behind. and trust me I'm the happiest i have ever been in my 20 years of life, it actually feels so good.
I'm glad i did it😊
My ex always tried to tell me we had these conversations that i had absolutely no memory of, where I would give her permission to spend money, transfer funds out of the family account to her, etc. I told her to record these, or do written communication, because I couldn't discount my own memory being wrong. Something just always felt off though. Finally, she made a mistake. She told me she had asked me a question about a mathematical process, and told me I had answered in a way I know I would not. That really flustered her, and from there I could start seeing the strings coming undone on this whole tapestry of lies. She had been using a book about gaslighting to gaslight me, but once I wasn't compliant with her process, it all came apart pretty quickly.
Whenever i need for help this channel always sent me a notification.
I have a selfish classmate who has been gaslighting me for 8 months on end, this video is a gift.
Walking away sometimes doesn't help also if they are literally physically blocking you from walking away. When they aren't respecting your boundaries.
Then, you tell them to move out of your way. If needed, then you physically push them out of your way
I totally get that. With some individuals normal advice, as the video shows, doesn't work and your integrity may get in danger. In these cases we need help to navigate these waters without being harmed and having a strategy for the long term as the regular solutions aren't possible.
@@kurthanke5788If I told them to get out of my way that would trigger their rage, if I shoved them, it would trigger violent rage, and is also assault. And if they're the owner of the house you live in you don't want to further escalate things.
Sucks when you're married to one...especially when they don't even realize and can't acknowledge they're doing it and always plays the victim. Talk about exhausting.
I just love this channel
Thanks so much for your love and support! It means so much to us!
Whenever i buy one of my friends something she said 'thank you! Ill buy you one tommorow too' and she walks away till tomorrow and whenever i ask she sais 'what do you mean? I NEVER got anything from you?!'
Thank for your effort
I love this channel so much. You guys are the huge reason I'm a psychology student now. Thank you, and i was wondering if you can have Indonesian subtitle in your videos. I have friends and family members who would like to watch your videos too, but sadly they don't speak english. I'd love to share your channel
This is now my favorite channel.
Yeah, this channel is the first one that made me realize that i have adhd.
I had a partner over the last 2 years tell me i was over reacting to things and I was imagining.. everything i felt or saw or even when he wasnt telling the truth hed convince me I was seeing it the wrong way. He is a master gaslighter and tbh, Im starting to wonder if he even knows what hes doing because he cant seem to stop it for one second even tho he knows im about to stop talking to him for good.. and thats not what he wants.. but he continues anyways.. its really quite crazy to watch him in action because youre just left in complete awe and disbelief as you listen to him. I was getting so exacerbated and overly frustrated with it I felt like I was shaking inside. I know i can over react a little here and there but Ive never ran into it like I do with him. I was convinced every word out of his mouth wasnt true to some extent.. I just never got the real story. I was so sure it wasnt me going nuts that one day I left my phone in the livingroom on voice record and I went to bed... i know.. scummy thing to do but he was literally making me feel insane I just had to for my own sanity. Well, sure enough my suspicions were right. The things I had brought up to him over that weekend were true, the things i felt were going on.. he told me i was imagining it all then even went as far as getting angry with me for suggestion he is lying... and I was right the whole time, I wasnt imagining anything. I couldnt tell him i recorded but i finally had what i needed to just tell him i knew he was lying and if he wasnt honest with me our relationship was over... i BEGGED him to stop lying and he just kept doing it. Im now back home 4 days later and still insanely frustrated and im trying to cut him out 100%. What an awful thing to do to someone.. gaslighting them. He literally made me think i was insane and couldnt trust my own intuition and it was making me feel crazy inside. I seriously thought something was wrong with me and that I had serious problem.. he really did a number on me and Im stunned I let it happen.
I need this now.😢
It gets easier the more you do it, and people who know you come to respect what you say more.
Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy.
I had an ex who manipulated me and would blame me for stuff I never did and also took me like I was overreacting when he never understood that I deal with depression and anxiety. He also had possessive parents and because of them he cancelled a trip on me out of the blue and I told him that it was so wrong of him to do that and he claimed I was the selfish one because of how I reacted, when in reality I had the right to be mad at him.
Same here😢
Same here😢
i love your videos!! you are helping so many people
I like the different artstyles of Psych2Go, but this one is especially adorable!
Actually I find that these are all ways to react rationally to a situation that usually can’t be handled that way. Because a person that often gaslights you is most likely unstable and can’t handle reality. They might resort to violence if confronted.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t say “I don’t wanna do that” or “Agree to disagree”. You should.
But trying to get them to stop using that unhealthy coping mechanism and being honest… or reasonable… No. They can’t. Not without a FAIR AMOUNT of therapy.
It’s taken me time because I very much like to be upfront and maintain a bond with people, but I’ve found that the best answer to someone lying or manipulating you is actually to play dumb. Let them believe that that you believed them and start organizing your distancing from them in a discrete way.
For example, stop going to sleep over at that friend’s house, so you no longer find yourself stuck in an uncomfortable situation in the middle of the night cuz they won’t be receptive to talking through it and will just gaslight.
Review in which way you are dependent on them and work towards finding alternatives in secret until you are ready to really step away.
And… if you still are in the phase where you’re doubting your perceptions, write down or make voice notes of what happens and what you perceive. It’s especially useful when they distort a memory. Write down your feelings and intentions too, for yourself. Cus they tend to blame-shift so much that you start doubting your moral integrity.
Also, recognize your own mistakes, apologize and repair if you are indeed responsible. It’s ok to have made mistakes.
Thanks, for helping me, thanks alot.
Thank you ❤
Gaslight? GUESS light?
Wowww
A lot of people do this. A LOT!
I had a friend who made fake accusations of me as a creep when on my school, i got revenge by exposing his gaslighting, racism, and his sexism, in our public school gc, and tbh he tried to gaslight me to remove it which i actually fell for but it wasnt all for nothing because his fragile, puny narcissistic Ego got destroyed after the whole class was fighting against him during lunch time because he cheated alot in a paid hide and seek game, And i took advantage of it and took revenge and gaslighted him to pay me the money he owed me from the game and if he didnt ill snitch how he spammed the n-word in the school minecraft smp, i still cant believe how i manage to pull this off, lmfaoooo😂
“Stop being disrespectful; they’re your parents.”
Well I guess myself is agaslighter, it always makes me question my thoughts, wt if I was wrong, wt if it's the opposite of wt I remember.
No confidence
I appreciate all the advice 🙏💓
Timestamps
1). What is gaslighting 0:39
2). Set boundaries 1:25
3). Remain confident in yourself 2:22
4). Have proof if available 3:24
5). Talk with other 4:12
6). Know when to walk away 4:55
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Thanks for this video, it helped me a lot with my experience.
Im really scared of gaslighting because I have memory of a fish (most of my memories are blurry) and I often interpret things wrongly due to autism so I don't even trust myself :(
this channel is super helpful
Interesting
Gaslighters are a fly trap for empathetic people. I hate it here.
1:00 Scar and Simba
My advice, try not to respond, and if you do give very little to no information. I think its called grey rocking.
what if its my parents doing the gaslighting 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
#golddiggerwife 🌺
Please report your abusers! 💪🏻❤️
Gaslighted and ghosted thas whats happening
Hey Psych2go. Why is parents so often manipulators??
If you hurt Psy, I will teach you a lesson you'll never forget.
Когда я нахожу что со мной это было или сейчас происходит то я убеждаю себя что мне это все показалось, все было совпадением..Странное чувство того что я в себе не уверенна..Как будто стою на зыбкой почве пытаясь не провалится..У меня есть мечта - оторваться от Ютуба на длительное время ..но нет силы воли..а очень бы хотелось..
How do u get a feeling of love
Like you met a girl/boy
You talk to them alot and suddenly there just a feeling of love that suddenly was created like how did u guys make it??
I have never felt love tbh. I think i never will...
Is lighting farts considered gaslighting?
Only when you deny hair was burned in the process.
My mental health is bad and i dont know what to do
I honestly find it extremely hard to fight off gaslighting in conversations because the gaslighter often twists reality to their own liking, belittling you, and speaking in a way to frame you as pathetic. Sometimes, they do it so poorly its comedic, but even in such scenarios, it could be hard to put them in their place. Sometimes you can't. Unfortunately, the best you can do is just exit the conversation or relationship whatsoever.
Gotta learn to just ignore it as much as possible before limiting contact, and eventual no-contact. Don't engage. If they ask a bunch of rude questions attempting to get a reaction, just say 'I don't know...what do you think'? Gray rock.
well said
I had a partner over the last 2 years tell me i was over reacting to things and I was imagining.. everything i felt or saw or even when he wasnt telling the truth hed convince me I was seeing it the wrong way. He is a master gaslighter and tbh, Im starting to wonder if he even knows what hes doing because he cant seem to stop it for one second even tho he knows im about to stop talking to him for good.. and thats not what he wants.. but he continues anyways.. its really quite crazy to watch him in action because youre just left in complete awe and disbelief as you listen to him. I was getting so exacerbated and overly frustrated with it I felt like I was shaking inside. I know i can over react a little here and there but Ive never ran into it like I do with him. I was convinced every word out of his mouth wasnt true to some extent.. I just never got the real story. I was so sure it wasnt me going nuts that one day I left my phone in the livingroom on voice record and I went to bed... i know.. scummy thing to do but he was literally making me feel insane I just had to for my own sanity. Well, sure enough my suspicions were right. The things I had brought up to him over that weekend were true, the things i felt were going on.. he told me i was imagining it all then even went as far as getting angry with me for suggestion he is lying... and I was right the whole time, I wasnt imagining anything. I couldnt tell him i recorded but i finally had what i needed to just tell him i knew he was lying and if he wasnt honest with me our relationship was over... i BEGGED him to stop lying and he just kept doing it. Im now back home 4 days later and still insanely frustrated and im trying to cut him out 100%. What an awful thing to do to someone.. gaslighting them. He literally made me think i was insane and couldnt trust my own intuition and it was making me feel crazy inside. I seriously thought something was wrong with me and that I had serious problem.. he really did a number on me and Im stunned I let it happen.
@@Jojo-o6o6w It's very cruel to mess with someone's sanity like that. Trust is really important in a relationship. Always pay attention to your intuition. If there's any chance at saving the relationship you'd probably have to be extremely non-judgmental, be willing to listen to the truth whatever it happens to be, and decide together how to continue. But the truth is if he's making you sick all the time, the relationship may already be over, or need to end. But in order to stay safe you may need to find a way to let him think that he is the one ending it. Depending on how vindictive he is.
When the gaslighter decides whether we have a place to live, or medical care, or food to eat, or transportation, or money for these basic needs, we CAN’T just confidently walk away, which is why bullies deliberately seek out positions such as parent, teacher, manager, landlord, breadwinner, etc.
I'm in a similar situation. My caregivers$ enable my unsafe living situation and breadcrumb those who pay their $alaries
_politicians_ and _cops_
You are right. These creatures are everywhere and in the positions you speak of.
The thing is; there is a huge paradigm shift happening and things will change over the next 5-10 years. There will be millions upon millions of narcissistic collapses. What a sight to behold that will be.
@@Groundwater24I'm excited for it as well. This next great cycle will be interesting to see from the beginning.
@@Groundwater24 Why would that shift happen?
Timestamp!
-0:40 What is gaslighting?
-1:27 Set boundaries
-2:22 Remain confident in yourself
-3:25 Have proof (if available)
-4:14 Talk with others
-4:56 Know when to walk away
Thank you for the timestamps ⏲
@@yukio_saito and thank you for appreciating it!😊
Gracias!!
@@Agent-4-911 de nada :)
Hard to respond when the gaslighter/narcissist doesn't let you talk.
Had a run in with one that literally said "I don't give an F" to "I don't care!!" literally yelling those two phrases over and over again.
Then that’s when you say I’m done and walk away and ghost 👻 their ass
For sure, context is key. There is a professional gaslighter within my family and I have to see that person from time to time and he doesn't let me talk and can't walk away from my life so... I stopped trying to show him I knew what he was doing and proving myself right, he enjoys that and it only made me lose my cool in those situations so I avoid any interaction with him apart from the regular greetings and the minimal small talk; my energy doesn't feel depleated after the engagement and THAT is the best for me, he will always be delusional and I can't change that. That's the only thing that worked!
@@Richiko06 hard to do when they are physically blocking the door. So yeah.
@@Richiko06 worse they say you are invading their space when they are the one coming to you AKA the gaslighting.
As the other person said, context is key usually the people doing it want to think you are crazy sometimes doing worse. Drugs can also be a cause.
"you care enough to yell"
This channel is carrying my life now 😭
(edit: JEEZ 62 LIKES IN 1 HOUR?)
(edit 2: oml 76 likes in 4 hours?)
(edit 3: oh wow, I never had this much likes! Ty guys!)
We hope this video can help you! What are you currently needing help on?
It's an awesome channel!
Me too
It's a week that i realized that my mom and my brother are narcissists
And I'm trying to recover.....
But it's hard because I don't have anyone in this world expect them and at the same time I don't want to see them as they destroyed my whole life up until this point (I turned 18 two weeks ago) i don't know if i can deal with it or not.....
I really need help right now
@@Psych2go
My own guardian keeps limiting my rights and taking away my freedom just because I’m an adult with autism, bipolar I disorder, mood disorder and… that’s all I can think of. But she recommends the psych doctor to recommend to get my iPhone taken away each time I do something wrong which that sounds ridiculous she even takes away my Fridays each time I do something wrong.
Most people who gaslight the most will accuse you of gaslighting first. It's the current buzzword and narcissists.... especially vulnerable narcissists will utilize it.
5 Ways to Respond to Gaslighting
1:26 1) Set boundaries
2:22 2) Remain confident in yourself
3:25 3) Have proof if available
4:13 4) Talk with others
4:55 5) Know when to walk away
Thank you for the timestamps ⏲
6) call them a child in an adults body.
being surrounded with manipulators and narcissists is a nuisance
Nuisance? It could kill someone!
You have to have your own back. Protect yourself because nobody else will. Do not submit, be set in your own feelings and believe that they're valid cause they are. Protect your space and your peace. They refuse to accept that they are the source of your pain and abuse and they avoid accountability and if they cant lie then they flip it go maks you feel like you deserved the abuse. Never involve them in your plans for success and do not let them control or dictate your adulthood. If they never respect your boundaries then make plans to live your life without them.
Some of us can't afford to move out! There's no help out there!
@@CatPower-k1yI feel you here. Do your best to avoid the gaslighters and learn to enjoy being by yourself. Work hard and save everything you possibly can. Nonstop think of your plan to move on.
It's not always a good idea to bring the issue to HR because they are often an enabler of bad management. HR protects the company, not you. 😧
Painful truth.
This is so true. They look after no 1. the company.
In my experience this is absolutely true.
As someone who really does have an excellent memory for detail (due in no small part to my own past trauma), I often get accused of gaslighting when I correct people who I know are remembering details incorrectly, and it's extremely frustrating.
It's very important to remember that gaslighting, like all forms of abuse, is distinguishable from legitimate behavior ONLY by the intent of the person doing it. The word "abuse" is literally the Latin word for "incorrect usage" -- EVERY action can be legitimate if done with good intent, or abusive if done with bad intent.
Abuse is generally defined by its impact on the victim rather than the intent of the perpetrator. There are some people with good intent who do gaslighting but don`t know that it is actually harmful and traumatic to the person on the recessive side.
Not just gaslighting but also lying, I have photographic memory so I remember every. Single. Thing. I'm like a walking proof for anything as long as I saw it. But then there are people who deny it by bringing up others who don't even exist 💀
@@nafisalabiba9451 : Whether an action is hurtful or not is determined by its effects. Whether an action is abusive or not is defined by the actor's intent. Look up the word; the first definition in multiple dictionaries (and therefore the most correct definition) is "bad or improper usage".
5:14 Talking to the HR department is not an option if your boss is the gaslighter and the boss of your boss tells you that must be out of your mind if you think that he will bond with you against your boss. Maybe the boss of your boss even tells you that mediation is a possibility in such situations. The odd thing is if the mediation is abused as instrument to get rid of you - this sparks a huge gain in trust in the organisation.
If this sounds too oddly and too specific to you to be a generic story, you would be right.
Gaslighting gets flat out ridiculous a lot of the time. You may not be able to respond exactly the way you would like to if they're truly toxic...but roll your eyes internally and externally hard...as much as you have to until you can get space from them. Never forgot how utterly stupid so much of it is.
I’m convinced this channnel has cameras on me, because every video you guys post is directly related to my life in one way or another. Thank you ❤💫
This is such an evil and wicked thing to do to people! If people have a disagreement, they should have meaningful and honest conversations! Thanks for the informative video! Take care!
People won't
This was helpful ❤
Gaslight yourself to avoid getting gaslighted...
Defending yourself is just what they want because they will get worse with fighting, falsely accusing and belittling you and having horrific temper tantrums against you!!! God help everyone like me who has no family, no friends and nowhere to go!!! There are no others!
And what if people don't take your boundaries serious?
My only response to that is a full blown argument or behavior mirroring; that's right: gaslighting the gaslighter.
I had a “friend” like this and they kept on bringing up all these issues and problems they had and that I couldn’t just ‘walk away’ all that time. I just wanted to bring up that there are the problem of why I wanna walk away because they’re gaslighting me. I barely talk to that anymore. They moved on to someone else and I’m glad.
I swear her voice makes it feel like she's truly talking to that inner child in me. It's incredibly comforting.
The best thing I ever did for me, before I check out was, that I Heal My Inner Child. After that so much made sense, and yes her voice does speak to it huh? Wish I could have known about it and done it all over 6 decades ago. I learned a lot from it.
I am at a huge disadvantage here. I had brain surgery in 2005 to stop seizures and can remember things wrong for real, so I easily doubt myself if someone says that I remembered something wrongly.
If it helps, almost no one has a perfect memory. Eyewitness testimony is completely unreliable. And as a fellow epileptic, the anticonvulsants I'm prescribed can make it hard to remember things.
Journaling is extra crucial in your case
I do respond, set boundaries, and walk away. But the pain shows off after they leave, its so hard to deal with and traumatizing.
well said
gaslighter: manipulates
me: gets manipulated because I cannot fight back
video: fight back
I already don't trust myself ... even without others involved...
This could possibly be from narcissistic abuse from childhood.
2:05 Correction: Gaslighters fall under a spectrum varying between well-intended and malicious. However, gaslighting is specifically a manipulation tactic that is never a mistake or unintended.
You set boundaries, they ignore them, or better yet, just laugh - but demand respect for theirs that are either ill or non-defined.
You provide 65 pages of substantive evidence and they state otherwise, and a court supports them.
You walk away, and they serve you with a Safeguard stating full custody.
The courts fully support this behaviour and fail to recognize emotional abuse for what it is. A private (psychologist) psycho-social evaluation was quoted at $45k.
Compound the above with a past history of sexual abuse and the ignorance of trauma responses - and people wonder why 4x males commit suicide.
"Speak to a mental health professional" where they await for your epiphany as to how you will solve your issue(s) - or we can offer you a pharmaceutical mental lobotomy to deal with your dark thoughts. Which is nothing more than socially accepted normative behaviour for failing to acquire a vocabulary as to how to deal with trauma.
"Good luck - you're going to need it." ~Supreme Court Judge
🖖
Another thing you can do is get THEIR loved ones and family involved. My ex once told me his whole family was "pissed" that I had to work on the day after Christmas instead of visiting with them. So I screenshotted his text and texted the group chat with it, apologizing 'profusely' for "being a disgrace and ruining their holiday". Hm. Somehow, none of them ever said that or felt that way.
How do you walk away from an unintentional gaslighter, who is also suicidal? I've tried distancing myself from them but it doesn't work. Because obviously, it's never a good idea to leave someone alone who's suicidal.
I literally needed this, my “friend” is gaslighting me to think I owe her so much money for something I STOLE (I never steal, it’s one of my biggest fears) she says I lost her book and I stole a different one (the one I have but ~according to her~ is *not* hers) I am so grateful to be subscribed to you❤❤ thanks🙏
A result of gaslighting is that the gaslighter will not have that person’s love and caring as readily as it wasn’t exhibited onto them.
Not necessarily (just) in case of gaslighting, but I have problems with turning away and going away in situations in which I should. It's so frustrating.
I can feel you.
I’m goi g through this now with a family member I love with all of me. I can’t participate anymore. I had to put a wall up and give us some distance.
My older sister and mother are like that they will always always find a way to prove me wrong, I struggled a lot when i way younger I lost my confidence and always isolated my self , now when i grow up i understand much they were always focucing on their perspectives and struggles but never tried to see things from my perspective never felt my efforts or pain for them they are older so wiser and nothing i think or say can be qualified and truthfull, it took me years to recover from childhood and teenager trauma, now I am good with them but never volunable, i never share my thoughs niether my decisions with them , my solution was to be fully emotional inactive with them and never let them affect my feeling and mental health again.
It is very hard openning to someone who couldn't care less about you, but once you get it you can't unsee that and the insight is key! You did the best you could with the circumstances and knowledge you had at that moment so congrats.
Learning to be your own best friend can be a lesson that will ultimately serve you well in life. Hopefully later you can find someone to love and trust in a healthy way. Just have to look at toxic people as temporary working out like working muscles at the gym until you can find something more reciprocal.
This is a great video, I have set boundaries but the gaslighter has walked right through every single one of them. I struggle with my confidence everyday, but I am getting better. I realize I have to leave the gaslighter.
my mom accidentally does that bc we both have bad memories, so its a 50/50 on who's right 😭
Great video as always!
watching this to learn how people prevent being gaslighted so I can become an even better gaslighter
Even this video is gaslighting.
If somebody tells you the truth, you're not being gaslit, you're just wrong.
Simple: Appear like easy prey while gathering evidence.
When the evidence is solid, confront them respectfully and rational.
Add: Blackmail them with the evidence in case they continue with the behavior.
Alternatively, allow them to make you go berserk and make them regret it!
Intercontinental ballistic missile
What happens if you have really terrible memory because you’ve dealt with so much trauma most of your life?
Could it be possible for somebody to show these signs of behaviors without knowing what these signs really are?
My younger sisters (1 year gap) are quite manipulative and i didn't know it that long so i try to stand up every time my sisters used manipulation. I hoped that it just stopped right there but they're influencing my younger brothers too (7 and 8 year gap), i frequently see my brothers lying which is pretty obvious so i try to point it out peacefully and tell them that it's not time to use lies. I hope you learned something from this.
What about when you reach a point where you don’t trust any of your memories or feelings or experiences anymore and there’s no escape?
Carefully choose a therapist. Things get worse if they don't understand what gaslighting is. Gaslighting also happens in therapy settings. I fired bad therapists.
Im sorry to say this; but this vid did not resonate well with me at all - as gaslighting is never going away - but i do agree it can be managed. Although with the way peoples' behaviors are it is becoming a lot more difficult to reason with people as the job market is a disgrace, and people are becoming more selfish and ignorant, and I've been being blamed by certain peers that I've tried to reason with over and over and im to the point where im just really becoming genuinely frustrated...and I'm to a point where im going to maybe have to go into therapy, otherwise im going to have a nervous breakdown, and past jobs ive had really haven't been helping with my psychological condition either ... and i dont believe i deserve to be disrespected or blamed for something that is not my fault. But take this message however you want, that is just how i feel. Anyone can disagree with me or give suggestions on what to do; but please no disrespectful or hurtful comments. Please.
I think all of us are guilty of gaslighting at some point in time. I have done it when I was young and I've dealt with it too. Vicious cycle.