Usually I'm all for it to not he with someone that helps or excuses cheaters, but this case is a bit different. Seems like an excuse to say that she's a people pleaser so she went with whatever her bully sister did, but considering he saw that she was the exact same in their own relationship, with her just saying yes to everything he said; that she snitched on the sister later about the false s*xual abuse allegation of the daughters; cut contact with her and parents; went to therapy; and made a prenup of her own accord, I say good for them. Most of these stories the person helping the cheaters do none of this.
Somewhat summary: The fact that your "sitch"( as in situationship named sarah ) was willing to lie to both you, and her BIL on multiple occasions for her (manipulative) sister (Evelyn) who was having an affair with a younger married father, which could easily ruined 3 families, (SIL's, AP's and the family of one of the women who is marred and has a daughter, that Mandy was hanging out with who fully knew of the affair and didn't tell BIL about it) that she knew almost the whole time, didn't tell you or tried to stop her or "minimise" her sister's actions by curving them in anyway possible, as they both insulted him, and belittled him so much, over everything about them, the worst part? she mentioned that she was always pushed around by her sister, this is a dangerous thing as she could easily be influenced into doing something extremely bad if she hangs out with the wrong type of people, then she thought you cheated on her with an bimbo named Mandy which was actually an OF account which was used by OP's brother when he stayed over using your account making her think it was you, giving her enough excuse to help some else cheat, when in reality OP's marriage wasn't that great back then which caused a spiral of issues. Talking about Sarah's past, about how she was abused not only Evelyn but by her whole family making her more obedient, and trying to do whatever anyone else says to make herself seem like a "person", but the abuse runs deep, also this explains how OP mentioned why she was more of a yes girlfriend than an actually person by constantly agreeing with him on everything, when they were dating, making OP question, does he know the real Sarah or was this just a version of her agreeing to everything he says to avoid argument. Does she really love him? (yes) Also OP is right how Marty (BIL has changed, he has become more "sadist" about this, he has all the evidence, resources and plans to expose the AP named Jack (SIL's coworker) to his wife and both of their workplaces which will make them lose their jobs since they're using company funds for person events, to make AP become paranoid on when he will expose him and reminding SIL where her place truly is, (as a side piece to a man who will soon lost everything). Also Evelyn is a horrible person the fact that she was willing to make a DV accusation at Marty, about something which could easily get him "harmed" in prison was disgusting also how she attack OP when she realised that OP was the one who exposed her. and how the kids (unfortunately they're involved too) had to be see a mental professionals about the affair and that the eldest daughter saw a "big wee wee", that is traumatising for any child and the fact that she cheated on Marty while they were dating and shortly after they got married, which doesn't make sense, since Marty is not rich or good looking which doesn't make sense for marrying him in the first place. and the fact that she still has visitation rights (with a supervisor) is terrifying, she is a danger to not only her daughter but to everyone else Unfortunately for Marty, Jack's wife (who was told about the affair by marty) still wants to try to salvage things for their child, meaning that Marty cant do anything to Jack without effecting his wife and daughters lives. Also, its complicated on how OP's brother live was like beofre (when he was using a OF account), since he technically was looking for something outside of the marriage, since his wife wasnt giving the same effort, and that put op in a tough situation, since he would nuke his brother's marriage over something he stopped and mended, also ruining the lives of the kids, but at least they both knew and are "content with it", and dont really care about it. How Sarah tried to make an effort by, rebuilding herself trying to mend her trauma, cutting off her family and sister by going to therapy, and wanted to give OP an prenup, for his safety because she wants to give herself some overdue happiness, even when OP called off the marriage after all of this, and that they're trying to rebuild the relationship about it, even saying that its happier than before (take it how you think)
The wife's sister is a real piece of work. I'm glad OP was able to help get Sarah to figure things out and make it work out. Marty needs to give a copy of the ex-wifes letter to his lawyer for added notes to his case (even though it is already done case closed) to keep everything all together if she tried to pull some stupid sh*t later down the line to were she can lose her visitation rights altogether.
Usually I'm all for it to not he with someone that helps or excuses cheaters, but this case is a bit different. Seems like an excuse to say that she's a people pleaser so she went with whatever her bully sister did, but considering he saw that she was the exact same in their own relationship, with her just saying yes to everything he said; that she snitched on the sister later about the false s*xual abuse allegation of the daughters; cut contact with her and parents; went to therapy; and made a prenup of her own accord, I say good for them. Most of these stories the person helping the cheaters do none of this.
Somewhat summary:
The fact that your "sitch"( as in situationship named sarah ) was willing to lie to both you, and her BIL on multiple occasions for her (manipulative) sister (Evelyn) who was having an affair with a younger married father, which could easily ruined 3 families, (SIL's, AP's and the family of one of the women who is marred and has a daughter, that Mandy was hanging out with who fully knew of the affair and didn't tell BIL about it) that she knew almost the whole time, didn't tell you or tried to stop her or "minimise" her sister's actions by curving them in anyway possible, as they both insulted him, and belittled him so much, over everything about them, the worst part? she mentioned that she was always pushed around by her sister, this is a dangerous thing as she could easily be influenced into doing something extremely bad if she hangs out with the wrong type of people, then she thought you cheated on her with an bimbo named Mandy which was actually an OF account which was used by OP's brother when he stayed over using your account making her think it was you, giving her enough excuse to help some else cheat, when in reality OP's marriage wasn't that great back then which caused a spiral of issues.
Talking about Sarah's past, about how she was abused not only Evelyn but by her whole family making her more obedient, and trying to do whatever anyone else says to make herself seem like a "person", but the abuse runs deep, also this explains how OP mentioned why she was more of a yes girlfriend than an actually person by constantly agreeing with him on everything, when they were dating, making OP question, does he know the real Sarah or was this just a version of her agreeing to everything he says to avoid argument. Does she really love him? (yes)
Also OP is right how Marty (BIL has changed, he has become more "sadist" about this, he has all the evidence, resources and plans to expose the AP named Jack (SIL's coworker) to his wife and both of their workplaces which will make them lose their jobs since they're using company funds for person events, to make AP become paranoid on when he will expose him and reminding SIL where her place truly is, (as a side piece to a man who will soon lost everything).
Also Evelyn is a horrible person the fact that she was willing to make a DV accusation at Marty, about something which could easily get him "harmed" in prison was disgusting also how she attack OP when she realised that OP was the one who exposed her. and how the kids (unfortunately they're involved too) had to be see a mental professionals about the affair and that the eldest daughter saw a "big wee wee", that is traumatising for any child and the fact that she cheated on Marty while they were dating and shortly after they got married, which doesn't make sense, since Marty is not rich or good looking which doesn't make sense for marrying him in the first place. and the fact that she still has visitation rights (with a supervisor) is terrifying, she is a danger to not only her daughter but to everyone else
Unfortunately for Marty, Jack's wife (who was told about the affair by marty) still wants to try to salvage things for their child, meaning that Marty cant do anything to Jack without effecting his wife and daughters lives. Also, its complicated on how OP's brother live was like beofre (when he was using a OF account), since he technically was looking for something outside of the marriage, since his wife wasnt giving the same effort, and that put op in a tough situation, since he would nuke his brother's marriage over something he stopped and mended, also ruining the lives of the kids, but at least they both knew and are "content with it", and dont really care about it.
How Sarah tried to make an effort by, rebuilding herself trying to mend her trauma, cutting off her family and sister by going to therapy, and wanted to give OP an prenup, for his safety because she wants to give herself some overdue happiness, even when OP called off the marriage after all of this, and that they're trying to rebuild the relationship about it, even saying that its happier than before (take it how you think)
The wife's sister is a real piece of work. I'm glad OP was able to help get Sarah to figure things out and make it work out. Marty needs to give a copy of the ex-wifes letter to his lawyer for added notes to his case (even though it is already done case closed) to keep everything all together if she tried to pull some stupid sh*t later down the line to were she can lose her visitation rights altogether.
After all that they went through, I do hope that it will be a happy ending. I'm rooting for you two to have a happy ending.
“Redditors won’t like this” “loud people on reddit” you’re one of them lol
OP annoys me.
That's quite the old story.
This guy definitely doesn't have what it takes to make a marriage work.
How so?
Come on then Dr Phill tell us all your sage knowledge of what Op’s failings are ?
@@druid799 i think we fell for a troll...... lolz
@druid799 also are you part of Druidry?
1st