I’ve met some couples who are in what I would call “a relentless pursuit of a baby”. The fertility industry completely takes advantage. No one dares to suggest that perhaps therapy will help and trying to find a way to be happy with what you have.
Why are you only telling sub-fertile couples to go to therapy?? If you think therapy is a fair substitute for having an actual daughter, why aren't you telling ALL couples to get their heads checked instead of having their own babies.
I think therapy would be helpful. Not instead of a baby but as part of the process. If you have been that focused on having a baby, do you have the mental agility to adapt to having a disabled child or not having one for years. Therapy isn't bad.
@@rubyduby2656 I think what they’re saying is that some people are not likely to have a baby, even with fertility treatments. But instead of providing care that will actually help them, more expensive (and often physically demanding) treatments are offered, for thousands more dollars. At some point, it is no different than someone selling an experimental treatment to someone with a spinal cord injury, rather than therapy that will assist that person with accepting reality. It’s not fair that some couples will not be able to have a child and for others it will be easy, but it is reality.
@@rubyduby2656 there’s actually a school of thought that recommends all couples get therapy if they plan on having kids. So you don’t mess your kids up with all the crappy behaviours you have. My point was that We live in a society where women in particular are regarded as failures if they don’t get married and have kids. All I’m suggesting is that maybe people can find ways to reject that BS and find happiness in what they have, instead of risking it all in endless pursuit of having their own biological baby. And I’ve seen plenty of couples break up during the IVF journey. It’s an awful thing to go through multiple times. I feel very sorry for these couples.
You have each other, a home and a beautiful daughter….not everyone gets everything they want in life. Is a sibling so necessary you will risk the future of the child you have?
This couple is probably the nicest one I've ever seen. They work hard, they know what they want, and they're willing to work to get what they don't yet have. This many years later I am just positive that they got that second baby that they wanted and hopefully are living as close to happily ever after as we're allowed to on this earth. Blessings to all. Special blessings to gail.
People have different goals in life. I had IVF only once and paid $1650 more than 20 years ago. It did not work and we decided not to continue. I dont have kids but I enjoy my life so far, especially to live wihthout debt.
Which is the same risk for those who get pregnant with endometriosis. Endometriosis increases the risk of miscarriage. You can still get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy despite endometriosis.
At least she’s not in an area that has banned abortions. I would wager they would have needed to abort at least 2 of those miscarriages if they were too far along.
I hope his 3 jobs don't run him into the ground, and hardly seeing each other doesn't drive them apart! It would be a travesty if these lovely people ever divorced! I hope they stay together forever!
I work with a single mom who adopted two babies through the county. She had no choice what they look like or their background but she loves them as her own.
You could have your own kid,and be a total f-up. It does not matter you never know you are going to get. .I hate, hate when people use this as an excuse not to adopt. I have seen plenty of messed up biological kids,and wonderful kids who are adopted.
I totally respect the idea that they were going to spend whatever it took to have that first baby. But, looking at their situation, a second is putting too much (including the welfare of their child) in jeopardy. I think they're some of the best people who've been on the show, I'm just surprised that they have so much and it's never enough.
I agree, when he said the thought of not having another baby was 'frightening', I couldn't understand WHY 🤔 they have an absolutely gorgeous baby girl ❤
What a sweet couple. What worried me was when Tracy said, " what if he loses ONE of his jobs". I think that's just sad. He's working too hard. They won't have time to spend with the family, too much work, not enough rest, is stressful, he could get sick....? Also, just the debt alone....wow....😢
What a lot of people don't understand is that regular adoption cost thousands of dollars too. Home studies and court documents. You can drop 20k for domestic or up to 60k for foreign. It's not as easy as saying. Yeah we will adopt and just go pick up a kid. Not to mention most adoptions can take years from start to placement.
This is Canada so I don't know the prices or process as well but in the States, employers will often offer grants for adoptions. It wouldn't cover the cost completely but help. And adopting from fostercare is nearly free.
Adopting through the state is nowhere near as expensive. My parents adopted me for less than 3k. A lot of people don't want to adopt children that way tho because they don't want to risk getting a " bad seed" since most of us come from bad backgrounds, but the option to adopt for very cheap is out there, it's just overlooked.
My husband is adopted and he does not come from a wealth family. There are less expensive options out there. For example, thru foster care. The difference is that so many people see foster kids as damaged goods. They want a baby, not a child.
@@violetamalinkova8840 oh ok. I was confused. The $40,000 they were quoting in the show is for Canada and our prices haven't changed that much since then. Smart of you to go the the UK, because $60,000 per year is ludicrous! How do they expect you to pay that off?
Canadian here. I graduated 2 years ago. My 4 years was 42k in total. It's not that far off. Government grants and buiseraries also covered almost 50%. If you are smart with your money and work a ton during summers and breaks you can finish uni with zero debt. Myself and many people I know have.
I completely understand why this couple made this choice, my husband and I both really wanted a child. I had 3 miscarriages before my daughter was born. I was on bed rest for the entire pregnancy and was unable to have anymore children after her birth. However, my husband and I both have well paying careers and my insurance is really good. I received full 90% of my salary during my bedrest pregnancy and 1 full year after my daughter was born. We can’t imagine life without her.
@@sophiesto6122 adopting in USA is really expensive, that’s why people go to third world countries to adopt. But those have a lot of black market and baby stealing.
@@sophiesto6122 Not true in the US/West. Private adoption is tens of thousands of dollars and does not even guarantee a child at the end. Fostering to adopt is affordable, but the primary goal of the foster system is reunification with the biological family, so again... no guarantee.
@@janebaker4912 I'm an only child and I love it. There are many benefits to being an only child. Growing up, I never missed having a sibling -- I always watched my friends fight with their siblings and call them annoying. I was happy that my home was more peaceful. I am outgoing so I never had a problem finding other kids to play with -- I always made friends. Your kid might feel the same way. It's okay.
I agree. They are too focused and driven on having what they in-vision as a “happy life.” Being in crazy debt, working all the time and not spending family quality time sounds like a nightmare. They have a dream family already.
@janebaker4912 aww, please try not to put yourself through that. You can give your child the best of what you can afford, and all your love and support. I see many families in hardship because they thought they should just have one more. Friends who chose to stop at 3, because they realised more would just spread things way too thinly for the first three ❤ also many families with siblings who absolutely detest each other. That brings it's own heartbreak ❤
I wish nothing but happiness and babies for this lovely couple. I’m glad they didn’t have to sell their cottage. We cleaned out our savings to have our one and only via IVF. We are financially stable now and it was 100% worth it.
If you have to put yourself into massive debt for the CHANCE of a bio child, you don’t have the resources to provide for said child. I’m sure infertility is extremely hard and painful but this is just peak selfishness 🤦🏻♀️ we all go through pain and wish some things were different, but that’s life. Adopt, don’t shop!!
There is nothing to think about, rent out the cottage have rental income coming in to help you until you no longer need the help and then you still have your cottage it's simple they're very blessed and smart🤗
The "rent a womb" business sickens me. Only broke women would consider renting out their bodies. This is a horrible method of taking advantage of financially challenged women, and yet so many people have "rationalized" renting-a-womb to get what they want. smh
@@meowshaokay but having a child you can’t afford doesn’t make sense, doesn’t matter why you have them. Also I have cousins that are only children, they have all of us.
@@meowshaas someone who has a sibling and whose parents died leaving us with nothing...I beg to differ. I spent the years before my parents died trying to help with their bills. My sister and I were still in college when we had no family home and no money to fall back on from parents. We wound up taking the first jobs we could after graduation, in different parts of the country and didn't see each other for years as a result. Personally, it would have been better to leave inheritance than a "sibling". Plus...you can have relationships and friendships....family is not the be all and end all for loneliness. But it can take years of catching up if you don't even have the parental home to fall back on in times of hardship.
NIce enough couple, but my sympathy for them rapidly evaporated after hearing of their pricy second vacation home. That, plus the desire to pay for expensive IVF treatments to have another child, plus the the guy's desire to retire at 60 while being buried in debt - yet with a complete refusal to give anything up. Classic first world problems and sense of immense entitlement. I get they want to have a second child, but unlike many people, they DO have assets and have options to sell one of them. That would quickly clean up most of their situation. They can do it, they're just choosing not to. We all like to have nice things, but if you can't afford them you need to give them up. Nobody NEEDS two homes. The tenant situation seems like a temporary and not very reliable band-aid - they have BIG debt and are about to incur much more in pursuing the second child.
I will never understand this kind of people... having multiples miscarriages and surrogating?? Wtf, just accept you cannot have a child. Also, you can adopt and change a kid's life.
I really don't get how they make enough money to possibly have all that stuff. It seems like their plans are contingent on things that may not go as planned, such as always having renters for the house and cottage. They need to sell that second home to come up with the money to pay off debt and pay for the expenses for the next surrogacy.
I have! In Canada, it was free but it was through foster care not a private adoption. If you want a healthy infant you will likely be waiting years and years (we got 2 teens and were matched quickly lol)
I want her to go into a hood house with people who want to get out of poverty and have the thrive to do so. So many people not shown the correct way on spending money and never had a good influence.
They are a super sweet family, but they can’t see the forest because of the trees. At some point, everyone has to decide where their priorities lie; the cottage or another baby. Another baby or giving the daughter that they already have the best life possible. Adopt or surrogate. Retire early or have a bigger family. Stay at home mom or more financial stability. Neither of them are in their 20s; they’ll be in their late 60s when that adorable baby is ready to go to college and that cost could destroy their carefully laid retirement plans. I feel as though they are so possessed by the idea of having a bigger family that it’s blinded them to how much it could impact their future. God bless them. I hope that they have nothing but happiness in their lives, no matter the path they choose.
I had to stop at one child due to birth complications. It really isn’t the end of the world. They need to focus and securing the future for the child they already have.
Thank you! The child (at the time), isn’t even a year old yet; but they’re anxious about having another one. The love they are planning to give to next can be poured into the current.
Maybe I dont share the "baby enthusiasm" but this is weird. They considered renting or selling property, renting their basement to a stranger, taking on 2-3 jobs, clearing their savings, etc to have another baby? Babies need their parents time, energy, focus, need to be safe within their own household, need funds...They are putting their entire financial futures on the line for people who won't even recognize or acknowledge the sacrifices made for their existence. I just dont get it.
everyparent has money issues at some point if not always cause prices go up but i agree the amount people spend on this is crazy...once they had 1 child they should quit digging the debt deeper to get another and worry about getting out of the hole to take care of their baby and not lose their marraige ubder the stress. stress makes having a baby even harder to do:(
The comments about them being selfish for wanting a child of their own is surprising. It's their choice like it is for those who choose to have children and not need fertility treatment.
I don't think they're selfish at all. I do think they're in denial that their financial situation is a ticking time bomb. If you spend so much money bringing children into the world that you can't even provide for the children, then what? They're well-off enough that they can afford this, they just need to have a plan and make sacrifices in other areas. I really hope they were able to do so.
What an ignorant you have to be, to be in debt that high, not having any savings and still thinking about 'buying' the process of surogation.... ??? these people are mad
We don't know that they don't have savings, we just know they aren't contributing to their savings at the moment. If they had zero savings, Gail would have addressed that. I've seen every episode and she would have found it totally unacceptable to own two houses and not have an emergency fund for both, or to have children and not have an emergency fund for them. They also have money set aside already for retirement, their child's future education, etc. They just aren't contributing to those goals while they pay off the debt from their surrogacy.
Adoption through foster care is typically almost entirely paid for by the state. I don’t know who it is in Canada, but you absolutely do not need to go crazy in debt to grow your family
It’s the same in Canada, that’s how we got our two beautiful daughters 😊 It was completely free (they were teenagers when we got them though, not babies).
Exactly, I adopted from foster care & didn’t have to pay thousands and thousands of dollars. If you just want to be a parent, it wouldn’t matter if it’s a infant or a child in foster care.
Everybody saying, “Why didn’t they adopt, why didn’t they foster, why didn’t they….” We don’t know that they didn’t consider other options. They chose what they chose for a lot of personal reasons that aren’t anyone else’s business.
I watched this episode and I want to share my experience with the path to subrogacy so people who don't have fertility issues can understand why some of us consider it the only option. I'm 42 and due to a chronic illness is imposible for me carry a pregnancy to full term and getting pregnant is dangerous to my health too. By the time I got my diagnosis I was dealing with Child Protective Services in my province (I live in Argentina) because my nephew was neglected by his parents. So I learn a lot how the system works in my country and because of that i never ever considered adoption. According to argentinian laws the main interest is preserve the biological bond, so if a mother or a close family member wants the kid, they can take it away whenever they want or ask for a permanent relationship with the child even if the adoptive parents keep him/her. This is because during the 70's the country was under a dictatorship and thousands were kidnapped, tortured and killed by the goverment. Among those were pregnant women whose babies were taken away are given in adoption illegaly. When democracy came back, many of this kids were recovered and many more are still missing. And that's the why behind the laws. While these babies now are 40 y/o and older adults, the ideology is stopping to change things to protect kids born in the last 40 years. I personally know two cases of kids taken away from his adopting parents because the mother reapeared years after the adoption was completed. That's the legal risk of adoption in Argentina. The second issue, and this is for everyone, is these kids came from broken backgrounds. Maybe in the past babies where given away due to teen pregnancy, poverty, they were born out of wedlock or was a religious thing. Today many kids came from parents with addictions, mental health issues, violence, etc. Many kids came with health issues because poor or no care during the pregnancy. And the older the child the bigger the issues they came with (including sexual abuse). So if you want to adopt, you have to see the big picture because these kids came with a rough story behind that you may not be informed at the extent. Rose colored glasses cannot erased their past and only very special people are able to deal with that. I'm fully aware I am not that person. The third thing about adoption: I watched a Jubilee's video where a woman in her late 40s was asked why she wanted a pregnancy instead of adoption and she said "Because other people's unwanted children aren't my responsability", and in my opinion it was brilliant. We want OUR children, we don't raise the saving-the-world flag. Nobody asks a couple "Why do you have another child when you can adopt?" but many people feel entitled to ask us. The responsability for the kids in the system belongs to their parents or close family members who didn't step up for them, not to couples/people wanting to have biological children. We are planning our family according to our posibilities and desires. We study our options for YEARS before deciding what to do, so we decided this is what is best for us. In our case we did therapy to work specifically on parenthood and in the whys of this path. Many people get a surprise pregnancy and after they think what to do. Well, for us pregnancies are a long process before the real pregnancy is a fact. Subrogacy is expensive, yes, but is scary in so many senses you cannot imagine. You have to be strong to endure this path. You have to trust other person with you unborn child during 9 months, you have to accept that women is gonna live her life and possibly do things you don't like (like eating XYX you don't consider "good food"), you'll see your husband watching and touching her belly with love and you have to accept in that moment of jelousy that's not your body but it's ok. This is not buying or adopting a dog, it's a hard place to be. Maybe you're lucky and you get the baby in the end. And maybe not and you have to be prepared for that too. For the financial aspect of subrogacy, yes is expensive but there are people buying $50.000 cars and there isn't any jugment on that. The only issue with the money it's if you have it or if you can work enough to get it, and if you are willing to spend it in a process charged with uncertanty. So money is a thing but it isn't the main thing. Finally, we set limits to the process. We set X attempts and if it isn't happen, we'll stop. We wish for our baby, but we are prepared for nothing too. We think is the healthy way to do it. I hope my words help people to understand better this path.
I do understand much of what you are saying. I can only try to imagine though. Those of us with no issues getting pregnant, most likely underestimate the degree of intense emotion you must deal with. Thanks for sharing.
Very well put, and thank you for your story. Unless people have been in the place of infertility, they have no idea how it feels, and what every option takes- we are in year 4 of fertility treatments ourselves, but before we even started we had a domestic adoption that fell though. Every step is a process, and there is no “just adopt” or “just foster” or “just assisted reproduction IVF IUI etc. The big hope, and we understand this, is that couples are responsible about their finances during the process.
I will never understand the complete rabid, illogical drive to have a baby/ child. I’m child free by choice and it’s the best decision of my life. I get satisfaction of being an aunt to many, and I couldn’t be more happy. It is the right decision for so many reasons.
@@dichang3 the thing is, having kids is one thing, but being delusional enough to think that having kids without a proper financial plan and future thought about, is completely illogical in itself and a total mess on the poor child that's born! A Child, does not deserve to be born to parents who haven't a solid plan, or discipline. But most parents I've seen, simply are that! Irresponsible ppl who have an unusual assumption about themselves being parents. That's what I mean by I don't understand why they have a craze to become parents, when obviously they don't know what it is to be one or what it entails.
Nice as they are as couple, I can’t believe how dumb they are with money 😮 it’s all funded through debt which can’t help them sleep 💤 at night..she needs to get a job 😊..in 2024, the answer is keep the property
They should just sell the cottage. I doubt they were able to find long term rentals. People in Ontario only cottage for 4 months tops.
I’ve met some couples who are in what I would call “a relentless pursuit of a baby”. The fertility industry completely takes advantage. No one dares to suggest that perhaps therapy will help and trying to find a way to be happy with what you have.
Why are you only telling sub-fertile couples to go to therapy??
If you think therapy is a fair substitute for having an actual daughter, why aren't you telling ALL couples to get their heads checked instead of having their own babies.
I think therapy would be helpful. Not instead of a baby but as part of the process. If you have been that focused on having a baby, do you have the mental agility to adapt to having a disabled child or not having one for years. Therapy isn't bad.
@@rubyduby2656 I think what they’re saying is that some people are not likely to have a baby, even with fertility treatments. But instead of providing care that will actually help them, more expensive (and often physically demanding) treatments are offered, for thousands more dollars. At some point, it is no different than someone selling an experimental treatment to someone with a spinal cord injury, rather than therapy that will assist that person with accepting reality. It’s not fair that some couples will not be able to have a child and for others it will be easy, but it is reality.
@@rubyduby2656 there’s actually a school of thought that recommends all couples get therapy if they plan on having kids. So you don’t mess your kids up with all the crappy behaviours you have. My point was that We live in a society where women in particular are regarded as failures if they don’t get married and have kids. All I’m suggesting is that maybe people can find ways to reject that BS and find happiness in what they have, instead of risking it all in endless pursuit of having their own biological baby. And I’ve seen plenty of couples break up during the IVF journey. It’s an awful thing to go through multiple times. I feel very sorry for these couples.
All medical fields take advantage. So do so many companies out there in general. It’s just the way it is.
You have each other, a home and a beautiful daughter….not everyone gets everything they want in life. Is a sibling so necessary you will risk the future of the child you have?
This couple is probably the nicest one I've ever seen. They work hard, they know what they want, and they're willing to work to get what they don't yet have. This many years later I am just positive that they got that second baby that they wanted and hopefully are living as close to happily ever after as we're allowed to on this earth. Blessings to all. Special blessings to gail.
People have different goals in life. I had IVF only once and paid $1650 more than 20 years ago. It did not work and we decided not to continue. I dont have kids but I enjoy my life so far, especially to live wihthout debt.
Sorry that you went through that, I'm glad you were able to come to terms and find peace
you don't need to own cottage.... you can rent it for the weekend
Sorry. May seem harsh. If you can’t afford them don’t have them.
Finally, people who truly meant what they’ve agreed to 🎉
1:00 Six miscarriages! Wow. I feel for her. The emotional pain, not to mention the financial pain, had to be so hard to deal with.
Meanwhile upwards of 900,000 unwanted babies aborted every year in America alone.
Which is the same risk for those who get pregnant with endometriosis. Endometriosis increases the risk of miscarriage. You can still get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy despite endometriosis.
At least she’s not in an area that has banned abortions. I would wager they would have needed to abort at least 2 of those miscarriages if they were too far along.
@@barnabusdoyle4930very true. Medically, abortion and miscarriage are very similar, certainly in aftercare.
I hope his 3 jobs don't run him into the ground, and hardly seeing each other doesn't drive them apart! It would be a travesty if these lovely people ever divorced! I hope they stay together forever!
One of the best couples yet! Good luck in all your life challenges. You got this!
I work with a single mom who adopted two babies through the county. She had no choice what they look like or their background but she loves them as her own.
That’s what I was thinking, ADOPT!
That is the same thing I was thinking….so many kids need loving homes and these people seem like they have the love…
Before in-vitro and surrogacy, that's what couples who desperately wanted a child did!
You could have your own kid,and be a total f-up. It does not matter you never know you are going to get. .I hate, hate when people use this as an excuse not to adopt. I have seen plenty of messed up biological kids,and wonderful kids who are adopted.
I was thinking foster to adopt throughout this show. Save an orphan and several thousands of $$
Gail is the best! This couple has it together now that everything has been laid out for them. Thanks Gail.
I totally respect the idea that they were going to spend whatever it took to have that first baby. But, looking at their situation, a second is putting too much (including the welfare of their child) in jeopardy.
I think they're some of the best people who've been on the show, I'm just surprised that they have so much and it's never enough.
Chasing that sibling 😢
I agree, when he said the thought of not having another baby was 'frightening', I couldn't understand WHY 🤔 they have an absolutely gorgeous baby girl ❤
What a sweet couple. What worried me was when Tracy said, " what if he loses ONE of his jobs". I think that's just sad. He's working too hard. They won't have time to spend with the family, too much work, not enough rest, is stressful, he could get sick....? Also, just the debt alone....wow....😢
They are playing with a house of cards.
What a lot of people don't understand is that regular adoption cost thousands of dollars too. Home studies and court documents. You can drop 20k for domestic or up to 60k for foreign. It's not as easy as saying. Yeah we will adopt and just go pick up a kid. Not to mention most adoptions can take years from start to placement.
This is Canada so I don't know the prices or process as well but in the States, employers will often offer grants for adoptions. It wouldn't cover the cost completely but help.
And adopting from fostercare is nearly free.
Adopting through the state is nowhere near as expensive. My parents adopted me for less than 3k. A lot of people don't want to adopt children that way tho because they don't want to risk getting a " bad seed" since most of us come from bad backgrounds, but the option to adopt for very cheap is out there, it's just overlooked.
Specially since they have seldom newborns.
And adoption would STILL be cheaper than what they're doing.
My husband is adopted and he does not come from a wealth family. There are less expensive options out there. For example, thru foster care. The difference is that so many people see foster kids as damaged goods. They want a baby, not a child.
This couple will have so much debt at the end they will be to busy working it off to have any time for the kids.
These couples make A LOT of money! I’d like to see her help some couples that make less than half of what these average couples are making.
This show is a definite must watch before marriage 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
What a lovely couple. I hope it all worked out for them and that they were able to have another child.
Why cant they rent out one of their homes and use that for debt repayment
It seems to be wanting too much too soon. A must have mentality
They are. They are renting out the cottage, and the basement of their current home. So two addition incomes.
$40,000 for 4 years of college?!?!? Dang! I miss those prices!!!
It costs more than $40,000 for a degree now?
@@violetamalinkova8840 is that in Canada? Or are you in another country?
@@violetamalinkova8840 oh ok. I was confused. The $40,000 they were quoting in the show is for Canada and our prices haven't changed that much since then. Smart of you to go the the UK, because $60,000 per year is ludicrous! How do they expect you to pay that off?
Canadian here. I graduated 2 years ago. My 4 years was 42k in total. It's not that far off. Government grants and buiseraries also covered almost 50%. If you are smart with your money and work a ton during summers and breaks you can finish uni with zero debt. Myself and many people I know have.
@RyeLady99 in 2011 my University was 49k per year on campus. I was able to do correspondence courses for much less but yeah, it's way more now.
I completely understand why this couple made this choice, my husband and I both really wanted a child. I had 3 miscarriages before my daughter was born. I was on bed rest for the entire pregnancy and was unable to have anymore children after her birth.
However, my husband and I both have well paying careers and my insurance is really good. I received full 90% of my salary during my bedrest pregnancy and 1 full year after my daughter was born. We can’t imagine life without her.
Lucky you had help on BR. I didn't:(
It’s great that that worked out for you so well!
He's a real engineer! He is using an HP48GX calculator. Back in the day that was a bad-assed calculator.
I truly wish this family much much success!!
I want, I want, I want................................just skip this' I want' because you cannot have all that you want in life.
I understand the desire for a child. They don't waste their money for lavish luxuries but for happiness other families get for free.
Yes at least they spent money on having a family, not stuff.
Adopting a kid is nearly FREE.
@@sophiesto6122 Adopting a newborn costs ~30k
@@sophiesto6122 adopting in USA is really expensive, that’s why people go to third world countries to adopt. But those have a lot of black market and baby stealing.
@@sophiesto6122 Not true in the US/West. Private adoption is tens of thousands of dollars and does not even guarantee a child at the end. Fostering to adopt is affordable, but the primary goal of the foster system is reunification with the biological family, so again... no guarantee.
Why is adoption never an option.
Their little girl is so beautiful.
But costly.
I’m sorry but u already had your miracle child. They know how precious and lucky they r to have a child. Why not b grateful for your miracle child
I have only one and I have huge huge guilt about this kid not having a sibling.
@@janebaker4912 I'm an only child and I love it. There are many benefits to being an only child. Growing up, I never missed having a sibling -- I always watched my friends fight with their siblings and call them annoying. I was happy that my home was more peaceful. I am outgoing so I never had a problem finding other kids to play with -- I always made friends.
Your kid might feel the same way. It's okay.
@@peaceness888 oh wow. You're awesome. Thank you 😊
I agree. They are too focused and driven on having what they in-vision as a “happy life.” Being in crazy debt, working all the time and not spending family quality time sounds like a nightmare. They have a dream family already.
@janebaker4912 aww, please try not to put yourself through that. You can give your child the best of what you can afford, and all your love and support. I see many families in hardship because they thought they should just have one more. Friends who chose to stop at 3, because they realised more would just spread things way too thinly for the first three ❤ also many families with siblings who absolutely detest each other. That brings it's own heartbreak ❤
I wish nothing but happiness and babies for this lovely couple. I’m glad they didn’t have to sell their cottage. We cleaned out our savings to have our one and only via IVF. We are financially stable now and it was 100% worth it.
If you have to put yourself into massive debt for the CHANCE of a bio child, you don’t have the resources to provide for said child. I’m sure infertility is extremely hard and painful but this is just peak selfishness 🤦🏻♀️ we all go through pain and wish some things were different, but that’s life. Adopt, don’t shop!!
There is nothing to think about, rent out the cottage have rental income coming in to help you until you no longer need the help and then you still have your cottage it's simple they're very blessed and smart🤗
I agree
That assumes that they always have a tenant. I would sell it. They can’t afford it.
Leasing out the cottage was my first thought too. No-brainer.
That was my exact thought!
Such a beautiful child! ❤️❤️❤️
she's adorable!!
Senta is freaking cute as shit lol, her hair is killing me I love it
Dark hair and blue eyes I love it
I'm not really a baby person, but that is one cute baby.
I hope these two found peace with whatever happened in their lives.
I adopted from foster care, not even a few thousand dollars.
These people don’t want a child, they just want a baby.
I was adopted from foster care. No shame in it.
They want a genetically THEIR baby
Thank you!
Surrogacy is unethical IMO
@@nataleo9093 since when?????
The "rent a womb" business sickens me. Only broke women would consider renting out their bodies. This is a horrible method of taking advantage of financially challenged women, and yet so many people have "rationalized" renting-a-womb to get what they want. smh
What's the point of having another one if he isn't around to raise it since he has to work
Having kids is a lifestyle choice. So is buying a house. So is buying a car. Make your choices wisely.
Really love this couple! They worked hard and showed they were responsible!
1 child is enough
Then what would they do with their frozen embryos?
He says he doesn't want to put a price on a human but he means the baby. Not the mother surrogate that they pay to carry for them
So true
You can have it all - you just can't have it all at once. SMART.
THEIR BABY IS BEAUTIFUL!!!
Why can't they just be happy with the one child they have 🙄
Probably because they know that they'll die one day and they don't want her to be alone once they do?
@@meowshaokay but having a child you can’t afford doesn’t make sense, doesn’t matter why you have them.
Also I have cousins that are only children, they have all of us.
@@malayaanderson8222 not everyone has cousins
@@meowshaas someone who has a sibling and whose parents died leaving us with nothing...I beg to differ. I spent the years before my parents died trying to help with their bills. My sister and I were still in college when we had no family home and no money to fall back on from parents. We wound up taking the first jobs we could after graduation, in different parts of the country and didn't see each other for years as a result. Personally, it would have been better to leave inheritance than a "sibling". Plus...you can have relationships and friendships....family is not the be all and end all for loneliness. But it can take years of catching up if you don't even have the parental home to fall back on in times of hardship.
@@jenjones90 wow, you think an inheritance is better than having siblings? Where are you, in the US? Horrible.
NIce enough couple, but my sympathy for them rapidly evaporated after hearing of their pricy second vacation home. That, plus the desire to pay for expensive IVF treatments to have another child, plus the the guy's desire to retire at 60 while being buried in debt - yet with a complete refusal to give anything up. Classic first world problems and sense of immense entitlement. I get they want to have a second child, but unlike many people, they DO have assets and have options to sell one of them. That would quickly clean up most of their situation. They can do it, they're just choosing not to. We all like to have nice things, but if you can't afford them you need to give them up. Nobody NEEDS two homes. The tenant situation seems like a temporary and not very reliable band-aid - they have BIG debt and are about to incur much more in pursuing the second child.
There’s absolutely no point in projecting higher ed costs 17 years in advance. So much will change.
And has
Great couple wish them the best!
I will never understand this kind of people... having multiples miscarriages and surrogating?? Wtf, just accept you cannot have a child. Also, you can adopt and change a kid's life.
I really don't get how they make enough money to possibly have all that stuff. It seems like their plans are contingent on things that may not go as planned, such as always having renters for the house and cottage. They need to sell that second home to come up with the money to pay off debt and pay for the expenses for the next surrogacy.
I like this couple! I like their life, their attitude, and their houses!❤️🥰
How many people have actually gone through the adoption process..... it's expensive, difficult and very lengthy.
I have done it two times. I disagree.
I've adopted and it didn't cost a cent. Where are you that it's an expensive, lengthy process?
@@lyndakelly564 ct and the home study were a couple of hundred a visit.
@@nakiaharper276 The US? That explains it. This show (and I) are in Canada.
I have! In Canada, it was free but it was through foster care not a private adoption. If you want a healthy infant you will likely be waiting years and years (we got 2 teens and were matched quickly lol)
What a lovely family! ❤ I wish them every success.
Million kids need adoption yet we insist on our own “blood” no matter what the cost 🙄
Agree, it's gross
I want her to go into a hood house with people who want to get out of poverty and have the thrive to do so. So many people not shown the correct way on spending money and never had a good influence.
They are a super sweet family, but they can’t see the forest because of the trees. At some point, everyone has to decide where their priorities lie; the cottage or another baby. Another baby or giving the daughter that they already have the best life possible. Adopt or surrogate. Retire early or have a bigger family. Stay at home mom or more financial stability. Neither of them are in their 20s; they’ll be in their late 60s when that adorable baby is ready to go to college and that cost could destroy their carefully laid retirement plans. I feel as though they are so possessed by the idea of having a bigger family that it’s blinded them to how much it could impact their future.
God bless them. I hope that they have nothing but happiness in their lives, no matter the path they choose.
Sell the cottage. Lovely couple ❤
News Flash.... that's not a "cottage". It's a home.
All the very best for your future
Very sweet couple and the baby is adorable!
I had to stop at one child due to birth complications. It really isn’t the end of the world. They need to focus and securing the future for the child they already have.
Thank you! The child (at the time), isn’t even a year old yet; but they’re anxious about having another one. The love they are planning to give to next can be poured into the current.
It’s always good to be grateful for what you have.
They have 2 frozen embryos. Are they supposed to leave them frozen for all eternity?
The mother did look it what it would cost but it's probably a lot more expensive now. Would love an update on this couple and Senta.
Has a retrospect been done of past couples to see if they have got their lives and finances in order and are money solid now?
Maybe I dont share the "baby enthusiasm" but this is weird. They considered renting or selling property, renting their basement to a stranger, taking on 2-3 jobs, clearing their savings, etc to have another baby?
Babies need their parents time, energy, focus, need to be safe within their own household, need funds...They are putting their entire financial futures on the line for people who won't even recognize or acknowledge the sacrifices made for their existence.
I just dont get it.
This was a tough one. They weren’t spending on stupid stuff.
Wasn't paying attention and thought the baby was named Santa for a tick.
Me too! 😂
Lovely people. So refreshing to watch
I don't understand the baby craze. I'm sorry if that is offensive.
Oh dear. Please don’t have a child or childen if you have money issues !
everyparent has money issues at some point if not always cause prices go up
but i agree the amount people spend on this is crazy...once they had 1 child they should quit digging the debt deeper to get another and worry about getting out of the hole to take care of their baby and not lose their marraige ubder the stress. stress makes having a baby even harder to do:(
The comments about them being selfish for wanting a child of their own is surprising. It's their choice like it is for those who choose to have children and not need fertility treatment.
...the issue is not whether fertility treatment is needed...it's whether you can support what you brought into the world...
I don't think they're selfish at all. I do think they're in denial that their financial situation is a ticking time bomb. If you spend so much money bringing children into the world that you can't even provide for the children, then what? They're well-off enough that they can afford this, they just need to have a plan and make sacrifices in other areas. I really hope they were able to do so.
Rent the cottage , good Investment!
Question years later - did they have another baby?😊
Some people can't even have one child. And they want another child.
I wish them the best but the stress must still be high.
What a nice couple.
Fertility industry in the west is crazy...while you can get the same treatment done in most of the asian countries in much lower price
It’s also because in the west 40+ year old women insist on wanting kids, so they need all sorts of procedures just to get and stay pregnant.
I’m giving up 10 minutes into this episode is this couple is actually in pretty decent shape. OK they’re net worth was very good.
What an ignorant you have to be, to be in debt that high, not having any savings and still thinking about 'buying' the process of surogation.... ??? these people are mad
We don't know that they don't have savings, we just know they aren't contributing to their savings at the moment. If they had zero savings, Gail would have addressed that. I've seen every episode and she would have found it totally unacceptable to own two houses and not have an emergency fund for both, or to have children and not have an emergency fund for them. They also have money set aside already for retirement, their child's future education, etc. They just aren't contributing to those goals while they pay off the debt from their surrogacy.
a 50 year old woman in total denial
Sweet cute baby! ❤️💕 & Nice couple
Adoption through foster care is typically almost entirely paid for by the state. I don’t know who it is in Canada, but you absolutely do not need to go crazy in debt to grow your family
It’s the same in Canada, that’s how we got our two beautiful daughters 😊 It was completely free (they were teenagers when we got them though, not babies).
Exactly, I adopted from foster care & didn’t have to pay thousands and thousands of dollars. If you just want to be a parent, it wouldn’t matter if it’s a infant or a child in foster care.
What a beautiful little girl!
Everybody saying, “Why didn’t they adopt, why didn’t they foster, why didn’t they….” We don’t know that they didn’t consider other options. They chose what they chose for a lot of personal reasons that aren’t anyone else’s business.
Such a nice couple.... hope them have the best....
Oh my god, look at all those toolbars on her web browser!
Thats an adorable baby!
Is this show still active? Or are these old episodes being posted?
Old episodes
This was actually the very last episode of the show. 2017 is when it ended.
I understand wanting to have a child, but why not adopt? There are plenty of children that need a loving home.
a couple in their fourties? by the time they are fully processed they would be to old for an adoption in my country (Germany)
I watched this episode and I want to share my experience with the path to subrogacy so people who don't have fertility issues can understand why some of us consider it the only option.
I'm 42 and due to a chronic illness is imposible for me carry a pregnancy to full term and getting pregnant is dangerous to my health too. By the time I got my diagnosis I was dealing with Child Protective Services in my province (I live in Argentina) because my nephew was neglected by his parents. So I learn a lot how the system works in my country and because of that i never ever considered adoption.
According to argentinian laws the main interest is preserve the biological bond, so if a mother or a close family member wants the kid, they can take it away whenever they want or ask for a permanent relationship with the child even if the adoptive parents keep him/her. This is because during the 70's the country was under a dictatorship and thousands were kidnapped, tortured and killed by the goverment. Among those were pregnant women whose babies were taken away are given in adoption illegaly. When democracy came back, many of this kids were recovered and many more are still missing. And that's the why behind the laws. While these babies now are 40 y/o and older adults, the ideology is stopping to change things to protect kids born in the last 40 years. I personally know two cases of kids taken away from his adopting parents because the mother reapeared years after the adoption was completed. That's the legal risk of adoption in Argentina.
The second issue, and this is for everyone, is these kids came from broken backgrounds. Maybe in the past babies where given away due to teen pregnancy, poverty, they were born out of wedlock or was a religious thing. Today many kids came from parents with addictions, mental health issues, violence, etc. Many kids came with health issues because poor or no care during the pregnancy. And the older the child the bigger the issues they came with (including sexual abuse). So if you want to adopt, you have to see the big picture because these kids came with a rough story behind that you may not be informed at the extent. Rose colored glasses cannot erased their past and only very special people are able to deal with that. I'm fully aware I am not that person.
The third thing about adoption: I watched a Jubilee's video where a woman in her late 40s was asked why she wanted a pregnancy instead of adoption and she said "Because other people's unwanted children aren't my responsability", and in my opinion it was brilliant. We want OUR children, we don't raise the saving-the-world flag. Nobody asks a couple "Why do you have another child when you can adopt?" but many people feel entitled to ask us. The responsability for the kids in the system belongs to their parents or close family members who didn't step up for them, not to couples/people wanting to have biological children.
We are planning our family according to our posibilities and desires. We study our options for YEARS before deciding what to do, so we decided this is what is best for us. In our case we did therapy to work specifically on parenthood and in the whys of this path. Many people get a surprise pregnancy and after they think what to do. Well, for us pregnancies are a long process before the real pregnancy is a fact.
Subrogacy is expensive, yes, but is scary in so many senses you cannot imagine. You have to be strong to endure this path. You have to trust other person with you unborn child during 9 months, you have to accept that women is gonna live her life and possibly do things you don't like (like eating XYX you don't consider "good food"), you'll see your husband watching and touching her belly with love and you have to accept in that moment of jelousy that's not your body but it's ok. This is not buying or adopting a dog, it's a hard place to be.
Maybe you're lucky and you get the baby in the end. And maybe not and you have to be prepared for that too.
For the financial aspect of subrogacy, yes is expensive but there are people buying $50.000 cars and there isn't any jugment on that. The only issue with the money it's if you have it or if you can work enough to get it, and if you are willing to spend it in a process charged with uncertanty. So money is a thing but it isn't the main thing.
Finally, we set limits to the process. We set X attempts and if it isn't happen, we'll stop. We wish for our baby, but we are prepared for nothing too. We think is the healthy way to do it.
I hope my words help people to understand better this path.
I do understand much of what you are saying. I can only try to imagine though. Those of us with no issues getting pregnant, most likely underestimate the degree of intense emotion you must deal with. Thanks for sharing.
Very well put, and thank you for your story. Unless people have been in the place of infertility, they have no idea how it feels, and what every option takes- we are in year 4 of fertility treatments ourselves, but before we even started we had a domestic adoption that fell though.
Every step is a process, and there is no “just adopt” or “just foster” or “just assisted reproduction IVF IUI etc.
The big hope, and we understand this, is that couples are responsible about their finances during the process.
With today’s grocery bill, that amount per week would not be easy.
Our family of 4 makes 100 dollars a week work, if you meal prep, meal plan you can stretch your food money very far.
Now compare it to the price of today as opposed to a year ago 😅
Lovely couple 😀
Is their baby, Senta, the most adorable or what?
Agreed! She is adorable!
Or what more like:ll
Why not rent out the cottage and have an extra income coming in.
They are working on it.
I will never understand the complete rabid, illogical drive to have a baby/ child. I’m child free by choice and it’s the best decision of my life. I get satisfaction of being an aunt to many, and I couldn’t be more happy. It is the right decision for so many reasons.
Just as you cannot understand why people have the desire for a child, many other people also wonder why certain don’t want kids 😅
I know, I don't understand why ppl are crazy abt making babies or having kids. It's a craze
Everyone's different. You might not want kids. But there are people out there that will think you are being completely illogical to NOT have kids.
@@dichang3 the thing is, having kids is one thing, but being delusional enough to think that having kids without a proper financial plan and future thought about, is completely illogical in itself and a total mess on the poor child that's born!
A Child, does not deserve to be born to parents who haven't a solid plan, or discipline.
But most parents I've seen, simply are that!
Irresponsible ppl who have an unusual assumption about themselves being parents.
That's what I mean by I don't understand why they have a craze to become parents, when obviously they don't know what it is to be one or what it entails.
I completely relate to you
Sweet couple, cute baby, its there life let them live it any way they want. I hope things turned out well for this family.
I feel bad, they are debt from trying to start a family rather than by spending on material things
I do kind of, Ivf costs a lot, if they really just wanted to be parents they could adopt from foster care for a lot cheaper.
At least they were not spending for shoping and such.
I don't necessarily favor surrogacy, but people need to shut up about adoption. Wanting a child that is not your own is hard.
Nice as they are as couple, I can’t believe how dumb they are with money 😮 it’s all funded through debt which can’t help them sleep 💤 at night..she needs to get a job 😊..in 2024, the answer is keep the property
They seem like nice people but I wish they weren’t so desperate for a kid. They already have one
They could’ve adopted from foster care, sometimes it can be completely free.
If they love the cottage so much why don't they live there.