i’m just getting around to watching this but if you haven’t looked up aromanticism yet, highly recommend doing so! even if you don’t identify with it, a lot of the things you’re talking about like not realizing if someone’s flirting, feeling like you don’t have a script for dating, wondering if you even want a relationship, etc. are heavily discussed and you could find some clarity there 💚
cannot express how nice it is to hear someone else not remember so much of their own life due to depression. sometimes when I say this outloud I know people don’t believe me but I truly struggled so much I can’t remember things. thank you for always being so transparent & open with us. we love you !
I also don't remember a damn thing. People tell me things about my life I would've forgotten if they hadn't brought it up. I was told that it's our minds/bodies protecting ourselves.. any events that elicit strong emotions (even positive ones) are perceived as a threat and our mind blocks it out. I don't know how true this is, but the thought of it is so scary to me. I wanna remember the good stuff too and I can't
I really relate with the pressure you put on yourself for dating and the loneliness that comes with seeing everyone in relationships. Thank you for being so open, helps me feel less alone
I can definitely relate to the whole relationship aspect of this. I’m 29 and still have never been in a relationship with anyone, and its difficult to deal with when it seems like everyone around you thats the same age is getting married and having kids. But I also don’t want to rush into things just for the sake of being with someone. I want it to happen naturally and have a real genuine connection with someone. I really appreciate you being open and honest about all of this. It makes me feel less alone. I feel like we definitely deserve to have great relationships in our lives. I would love to see you do more content like this when you can, just like chatty life updates (especially about mental health and relationships) and what’s on your mind at the current moment.
THE WAY YOU TALKED ABOUT DATING IS SOMETHING IVE ALWAYS THOUGHT!!! like did y'all take a class in dating and relationships that i missed or something?!! you put it so goddamn perfectly my jaw is actually on the floor. tysm for posting this and making me feel less lonely. (not alone because we never truly are!)
Not a class but I learned everything through my parents. I am very very fortunate to come from a household where my parents openly expressed their love for one another. They were also so honest with us about how even though they were in love, sometimes they fought and had disagreements. That's how I learned to date through them. I mainly just watched them as a kid and was like, "Yeah, I want that."
I hate that we’re all out here being so hard on ourselves. You having had that day with the ER and saying ‘i didn’t do anything else after that’ girl!!! U did so much!!!! U did enough!!! And being tired the next day? Totally ok!!! Completely understandable!!! Its frustrating to be so tired and ‘having to do stuff’. 😢 but digitally hugging you. I hope you’re giving yourself grace, you’re doing what you can and you’re doing it well
society puts so much pressure on women to be in relationships and i feel like i’ve never heard someone speak about it and in this way before. tysm for talking about this and shedding light on what it’s like being a single woman ❤
It sounds to me like you’re ready for a “real” relationship; one without games, one where both parties accept each other for who they are, imperfections and all, and one where two whole people come together to share their lives, not “complete” that of the other person. I don’t see anything wrong with that, that’s called being real and it’s a rare gem in today’s society. Keep doing you and shining your light and the right people who can match that WILL come along ❤
I feel like dating/relationships are one of those things that you have to just jump into in order to learn. I always put so much pressure on myself to prepare for things that mostly require learning on the spot, as-you-go. Very hard and scary but liberating when you let go of that need for control
What I exactly know about love is that when you meet exact person - everything started to flow in right direction. I met my amazing loving boyfriend at 21 yo and before him I never even had relationships. I’ve felt loneliness for couple of years,I’ve craved relationships and also felt left behind. What really helped me - is to stop looking for love. I just let it go and stopped looking for love,but continued looking for friend. I was playing with tinder geolocations in order to practice my language, so I was looking for someone just to talk. Swipe left and it’s been 2 more years of long distance with meetings and preparation to move. I don’t know how it goes,but when you really stop intentionally looking for it,thinking about it - it comes. Love is flow,no strict rules and instructions
god everything you are saying about your feelings towards and about relationships is so relatable, literally exactly how i feel. and also how you can't remember most of your teenage/high school years and early adulthood. this candid conversation has brought me so much comfort, knowing that i'm not alone with a lot of these feelings/worries that you mention
not putting a label on you at all but the way you talk about romance has always made me think of aromanticism! seeing the effort of it as wearing a mask, wanting a partner springing from seeing those around you having one, valuing platonic love at a higher level than most - again, zero attempt here to label you, just something i noticed! been watching your vids for years and you’ve been keeping me going with your vlogs for forever
I am so sorry you are going through this all, but I cannot tell you how grateful I am for you sharing. Your videos help me feel not alone & that someone understands what I’m going through ❤
And in terms of dating - I think that honesty and level of “I really don’t know what I’m doing” is super charming. It will attract the right human!! Being yourself will never turn away the wrong person. And a relationship is a HUGGEEE exploration of yourself since you have a human foil to reflect yourself back to you. Anyways! It’s okay if it feels weird and unnatural to you, it becomes easier with practice, and truly, honesty! Your honest self is your hottest self 🫶🏼 And you are more than enough!
I have a sleep disorder which in turn worsens my ADHD symptoms during the day and I’ve been in this loop of feeling EXHAUSTED. I literally got a surgery to fix my devoted septum just hoping to improve my breathing during sleep which I was told by doctors coulddd help. It helped a little bit still I had a lot of trouble and fatigue all the time. Short from another WAY worse surgery (as described by the doctor who did my first one) my only other option is wearing something during sleep that could in the future lead to other problems with my jaw. So I set out trying to learn and do everything to help my sleep possible and I’ve found that mood throughout the day REALLY affects my sleep which is probably directly linked to hormones (which can also affect sleep). Of course all sleep hygiene practices are there (dimmed lights at night, no screens, cold room, hot shower), and I started doing some breathing exercises and gone as far to include massaging my earlobes because I read it could help relax you. So yes I really feel this. + the whole feeling like there’s a game you don’t know the rules to for relationships. Like it’s been years since I’ve been in one and I just don’t get it anymore honestly + yes I also have trouble believing people like/love me (friendships included). I think a lot more people than we realize deal with what we deal with and that’s comforting in and of itself
So many thoughts on what you said. I also have struggled with depression since a very young age. I considered myself a late bloomer as well (only had a very short relationship in 9th grade which I don't even count) and was way too in my head to really date. Nothing made it past the talking stage in college and in hs, I had crushes that never materialized into anything meaningful. I commend you for taking the step to get out of your house more. That alone is putting yourself out there to make organic and genuine connections, both platonic and romantic. I didn't have my first real bf until I was 24. The only reason I'm with him is because we ran into each other a night I was invited out and almost didn't go because I was too depressed and avoiding all my friends lol. You are doing great and even though dating sucks, these tiny steps toward putting yourself out there in any way do mean something! Wishing you love and hope your insomnia calms down soon
hey Reese, I don't want to overshare on the internet but let me just say that I completely related to the part where you talk about relationships. im in my late 20s, my friends are getting married one by one, im single (LOL) and not doing anything about it. I do feel the loneliness sometimes..I don't know where im going with this but I just wanted to say you are not alone on how you feel. thank you for being vulnerable with us ❤
One of the best pieces of advice I found for dating is put yourself in places where you’ll attract people like you! So hang out at a bookstore, craft meetup, something like that :) Where you spend your time is where you’re most likely to meet people who share similar interests! Girl I just want to see you happy, let me be ur personal hype man haha
For worrying about being too much or not enough, whenever I feel like this I try to remember that I want to be with a person who likes all of me, also if its meant to happen it’s going to happen. Hope your feeling better
I understand the whole “my personality doesn’t come through text” thing. I met my boyfriend of a year on Tinder and we met up in person really quickly (the day after we matched actually). I never liked to chat a lot over text before meeting someone in real life, cause keeping conversation going over text is hard!
Thank you so much reese for this talk. Now, I know that there's also someone I know from the past few years that she struggles with such things that others are able to do naturally. It's so nice to see you talk about mental health and other things
I want you to know that I 100% relate to everything you said about dating, especially as a 27 yr old 7th wheel in my friend group. I love myself and think that I'm a genuinely cool person but romance just does not compute for me. I've never had a solid relationship and the whole process is just embarrassing to me. I wish you the best, because I know it's rough out there
Might sound weird but i think what has helped me the most with bouts of insomnia is doing way less than more. Like if i have a bad night of sleep not letting myself obsess about it or think about it at all when i wake up.not doing a ton of things to compensate. I notice the less i obsess about sleep and how im gonna sleep that night the wayy better i sleep . Also certain things like teas, yoga, meditation b4 bed can help but only have made things harder for me because i'm putting so much pressure on myself to feel good and fall asleep instantly. That might be the case for you too I'm not sure. What's helped me is every time i notice myself spiral about sleep or how it's gonna go that night i redirect my attention to something else. I feel like, that way, sleep becomes a neutral topic for me again and gets me out of that funk. Then, i start sleeping at night normally again because I feel wayy less stressed about it and not so "on alert" Tldr: less pressure/obsessing abt sleep=way better sleep patterns(at least in my case) :)
Reese, thank you so much for opening up about dating and loneliness ❤Currently 23 and I got out of a 3 and half year relationship and this past year has had so many ups and downs of being single after a long term relationship. I've felt that self inflicted pressure more lately for some reason and it's comforting to know I'm not alone in those thoughts. Thank you for always being so open and transparent about topics that I feel like many content creators don't talk about as much or in a way that doesn't sugar coat reality.
I've been where you are when it comes to relationships. I've spent years asking myself what was wrong with me because everyone was in relationships but me. But in the last maybe two years I've finally realized that "Having to date" is a society problem and not a me problem. And I'm happy by myself and I know my friends aren't leaving me behind when they get into relationships. As long as I'm happy I don't see why I need to stress about getting into a relationship. What does sometimes stress me out about this: the last couple of months I've been working in a hospice and I sometimes ask myself if the end of life is going to be lonley if I don't have relationships or children. Because most of the time it's the spouse or the children who help out (at least here in germany). But I just need to remind myself that everything's okay and there's no need to stress as long as I am happy with my life as it is right now.
idk if you’ll see this and this may be sooo annoying to here but i was in the same place where i wanted a relationship but nothing was working and when i finally let go of the idea of having a relationship, it literally just happened and now i’m with the best bf ever. so understanding, likes me FOR ME WOW. LOL but seriously i think don’t worry about how old you are rn and what stage of life you’re in. just put yourself out there more (that job will def help) and it’ll come to you. don’t question how or when. just try to let go by focusing on other things and plans :)
Girl! I watch you every morning whilst I get ready for work 🩷 this video is everything! I feel like you’ve dived into my brain and explained EVERYTHING I’m feeling.
I was similarly clueless about successfully striking up conversations with women back in the day, much less making the jump from friendship to dating etc. I always figured that they (women), and few lucky dudes, just naturally knew what was up, and that somehow, I didn't. It's interesting to hear you feeling the same way, despite being one of the people I would think were in the know, attractive, confident, successful, et al. Now I think the dating exchange is a little like catching a fish, where you don't try to reel one in all at once. I also think common interests are one of the best ways for people to eventually find each other. As with all my theories of course, the usual disclaimers apply.
Everything you just said I relate so much!!! About the insomnia, always feeling tired, being a lot when meeting new ppl. I also act like I’ve already know them and share a lot upfront. I’ve never felt so validated until this video! I have depression and anxiety and it’s so hard to live in a world where it’s always “you always have to do something if not you’re lazy” kind of mindset. I’m in a constant loop of oh I’m depressed but I can’t go to therapy bc I don’t have a job, but I need to get a job in order to survive, but can’t do that bc I’m depressed and so fort.
thank you for always sharing the struggles in life because I’ve been struggling the same way, my mental health has taken a toll on my daily life where I have to take a leave of absence. And I’ve been feeling so lost with what I’m doing with my life to try to help myself but it can be struggle without the right support. I relate a lot to the social issue too and I’m glad you got a part time job to help you out the house! I enjoy vlogs like this because I truly resonate with what you say. TH-cam is the only social media I’ve been on but if you see this would love to get the chance to have a conversation with you! take care Reese
Yes!!! I really relate about the relationship part! I have AMAZING friends that I know that care deply about me but at the same time I'm nones prioritys because they all have theirs signicant other that comes first in certains aspects.
I relate to this so much. I’ve been working on liking myself in therapy and once i’ve started getting there I’ve needed to work on sleep because it’s been awful. It seems like no matter the suggestion I just can’t get good sleep. Then there’s the dating thing- i’m 22 and have never been in a relationship and every time i talk to people i feel like i’m on a different planet and don’t know the rules. i’ve only been on a few first dates and they never go well. And i don’t even really have that many friends so i can’t just spend time with them. always feel like i love my friends more than they love me, and romance is difficult when i can’t even cultivate a friendship. you aren’t alone Reese, being a 20-something sucks
I'm suffering with sleep too, and it's making me miserable To make matters worse, i caught a cold .. literally I'm in a slump and it's hard to get out of it Thank you so much for this video You seem like genuinely a kind person
i'm nineteen and just starting university, and i relate so much to what you said about highschool and mental health struggles. i'm mostly a silent watcher but i just want to say i love these kinds of videos so much, they make me feel less alone, and i hope you're proud of how far you've come. ❤
Honestly I have recently caved and gotten magnesium in hopes of helping with my insomnia, but something my therapist told me to do is keep a plan b plan in case I can't get up and it helps alleviate the feelings when I feel like I get nothing done. It has helped so much. I have been gifted with a promotion recently so I give you all the positive vibes as a friend and fan xoxo you need it rn
girl I relate to you so hard on the dating situation but hopefully I can give you some hope: I was the same as you, had one short relationship (end of HS) then so much was going on in college I forgot all about that relationship and didn’t end up dating anyone else. I totally developed a sense of self during that time though, and post college I knew I wanted to date but was just not up for playing mind games, not acting like myself, etc. I also hadn’t even kissed anyone in 4 years at that point (!!) so I felt like I was completely starting back at square 1, and was starting to see all my friends settle into serious relationships. anywho so I finally get settled in a new job in a new city post college and decide to put myself out there. I went on one hinge date (went ok, I wasn’t really feeling it though), then went on a second with a different person. that second date was with my now boyfriend of 1.5 years. as soon as I met him I instantly felt comfortable around him and again just totally acted like myself the whole time and to my surprise, it didn’t scare him off!! all this is to say just keep being yourself and don’t feel like your the only one. I’m sure many people you know in relationships felt the exact same as you before they met the person they’re now with, so keep that in mind!!
totally understand where you’re coming from about putting on a mask while dating. i’ve alwaysssss felt like that but i’m finally in a relationship except it’s with someone i’ve know for a good amount of time and was friends w first. that’s the only thing that’s helped me get out of that feeling. sometimes i still feel like that though, i think it is a side effect of my anxiety and worrying about how everyone perceives me. in my heart idc but my brain sometime wins. idk if this helped at all but yes.
girl I seriously think we’re always on the same wavelength as a fellow Gemini. I have been thinking a lot about relationships too and feeling behind for my age.
Girllll, we are the same age, both geminis and I have been watching your videos since probably 2016, and I can say I relate to a lot of this SO hard. You are totally not alone in your feelings!! It's such a struggle sometimes but looking at these comments it's clear the feelings are mutual which I hope feels comforting to you!
It’s so beautiful to hear you speak to candidly about all of this girl!! I’m sorry to hear about the money struggles, I’ve totally been in that boat too and it’s so disheartening how we have to end up prioritizing earning money over our health. I’m hoping eventually that will dissipate but phew. That shit is hard. But hey! The universe is still on your side, just waiting for you to push through to make that break through. We got this queen
this is such a relatable video reese, thank you so much for talking about it. i really appreciate that you talked about it, even if you're not super comfortable with it. thank you so so much
Have you tried magnesium gel or cream? You can put it on any aching pain or on the bottoms of your feet to help with sleep! It’s sooo helpful and applying magnesium topically is the best way for your body to absorb it!
Hi! I’m a regular watcher and am normally a ghost watcher bc social anxiety but I just wanted to let you know that I love your content and that I hope this even helps a little bit with the algorithm issue…
I dont know about the views because i rewatch all your videos so i can do chores along with you ( body doubling - adhd) but im sending you love so things get better ❤
I love you, Reese! I’ve been following your journey since basicallyyourbible (lol, yes, really that long), and you’ve always been such an inspiration for me ❤❤
Lol girl I'm 28 never been in a relathionship, have no friends. And honestly - I don't need any, I always like to hang out by myself, for me even beeing around people is exhausting not mention taking to them or trying to carry a meaningfull conversation. I used to be very ashamed of myself because I don't fit in into social norms. But now I accepted myself as I am and don't carry about other people judgments and expectathions.
Honestly the right person will love that you come on strong, and also I used to be the same with not knowing when people were flirting with me or were into me, and then after I sort of did some work on myself and got more in touch with my intuition and sacred sexuality it seemed like all of a sudden I could tell IMMEDIATELY and very clearly and it became SO obvious even if they weren't super obvious about it, so idk if that's helpful but there is hope. It literally used to be such a big joke with my friends that I could never tell even if they were SO obvious. And idk if this applies to you but part of it for me was a deep seeded shadow of this unconscious denial or disbelief that someone could be into me so I wouldn't pick up the signs because of that, if that makes sense. You'll get the hang of it girlie ❤️
Girlllll I've never related to someone so much in the dating department! I'm so late to the party and dating apps destroy all my self confidence. Where do we even start??? Next time I'm feeling all gross and romantically lonely, I'll remember there's so many of us experiencing the same thing
Its very much okay to be single as I'm myself 24 and dont have relationship. I think it will come around at right time, we definitely cannot compare these things.
I work third shift and struggle with sleep, my biggest saving grace recently has been taking a magnesium supplement. 200mg everyday, and I’m falling asleep faster, staying asleep, and getting better quality sleep!
I have a friend who has insomnia issues and after trying everything on the market, she finally got results with a sleep therapist - to save you from paying for therapy, the advice was to start by going to bed with the purpose of only going to sleep for a few hours (i.e. sleep from 12-5 if you only typically sleep 4 hours normally) and then gradually increase. Hope it helps!
hey girl, totally loved this chat and just want to put it out there re; relationship struggles - you are not alone!! i am in my mid-20s and have always felt so fulfilled by the platonic relationships in my life. i think i am mentally/emotionally a romantic person but in reality way too practical/earnest to play the dating game and pretend to be someone i am not, therefore have resigned myself to being alone but open to the possibilities (???) anyway it's rough out here, i hear you, and i unfortunately don't have advice but offering solidarity!!!
Loved loved loved this sit down chill podcast style video really please do more 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽💙and know you’re not alone in any way so many people feel the same as you and can relate☺️
Hiiiiiii (a regular here!!) I used to be the same with dating and then it finally clicked so don't give up hope. Also don't rule out the fact that u might not be straight! It felt so hard for me to flirt with men but flirting with openly bi women came sooooo naturally to me. I'm bi and in a relationship w/ a man now & loving it but yeah it took a relationship w/ a woman for me to understand dating 😅
Your feelings are valid. It doesn't matter if someone has it worse, your feelings still matter. I think the world has changed since 2020. Some people are more cautious about new relationships. I'm in my 30's and still single but not looking. I'm trying to figure out this new world we'ee in.
I can relate so much to the whole relationship thing. I think I might be asexual but not aromantic, so I actually would like to be in a relationship, but I think I'm so traumatized, "too" mentally ill and blablabla that I just can't even start talking to people (even just to make new friends) so there is nothing going on at all, but everyone around me is in a relationship and I feel so alone. I have so many of the same thoughts you have, so just know you're not alone.
Even when I am really struggling or going through it, your videos have always been the light to get me through the hard times. Sharing your struggles with mental health has made me feel less alone. You will find your person and whoever that is will be the luckiest person in the world. Take care of yourself, lots of love🩷🩷
Have you tried magnesium for sleep? My sleep quality is so much better since taking it an hour before bed. I also use ear plugs & an eye mask. The older I get the more I value good sleep! Good luck with everything ✌🏼
Loving this vulnerable chat Reese ! Your take/experiences around dating sound soo similar to mine. I have a Capricorn Venus and Saturn in the 7th H so these days I just chalk it up to being a late bloomer, and fingers crossed my time will come later in life (i'm 25 rn)... I wonder if you have Saturian energy too which can often make us feel like we didn't get told the rules of the game like everyone else did 💖💖
I have bartonellosis from a bug bite and it started w red lines from the bite and exhaustion I’m not tryna make you paranoid but just watch your symptoms and do your research to make sure u get adequate attention as bartonellosis might require longer abx
I can really relate to the feeling of being in a hump rn. About your sleep, I would talk about it to your psychiatrist or whoever controls your meds, I had the same problem and trazodone really helped! Maybe there is something out there for you to. And about dating, if they are playing games maybe they are not worth getting into. Hope you get better soon ❤❤❤
i feel similarly about dating. i’m 25 and want marriage, pregnancy, children, etc., but at the same time i’m on the aroace spectrum so it’s very rare for me to even experience actually liking someone.
Oh the way that I feel you girl. I am 25 yo. I feel like all the people around me are getting married. Meanwhile I am living alone with my cat having only few close friends. Last 2 relationships I had ended super quickly, like those men just got over me in a blink of an eye. I know my value and I am unwilling to play games and accept bare minimum. I guess I am just starting to accept that it is what it is and I am on my own and all I got is me. Alsoooo I do suffer from insomnia too exept I usually cannot fall asleep. But there have been times when if I wake up in the night I will not fall asleep again. I need to take meds for that but they are not strong enough. Insomnia is an awful issue and IT IS A REAL DIFFICULT PROBLEM. Hugs from Poland
I relate to seeing all your friends dating and you being alone. I’ve only really had 3 relationships but none of them are good and healthy. I haven’t tried to date in so long I don’t know if I could.
so important for everyone, especially young people, to save as much as they can when they have excess income. you never know when your circumstances are going to change or inflation is gonna kick in really bad, and we still gotta hang around for half a century.
i’m just getting around to watching this but if you haven’t looked up aromanticism yet, highly recommend doing so! even if you don’t identify with it, a lot of the things you’re talking about like not realizing if someone’s flirting, feeling like you don’t have a script for dating, wondering if you even want a relationship, etc. are heavily discussed and you could find some clarity there 💚
cannot express how nice it is to hear someone else not remember so much of their own life due to depression. sometimes when I say this outloud I know people don’t believe me but I truly struggled so much I can’t remember things. thank you for always being so transparent & open with us. we love you !
I also don't remember a damn thing. People tell me things about my life I would've forgotten if they hadn't brought it up. I was told that it's our minds/bodies protecting ourselves.. any events that elicit strong emotions (even positive ones) are perceived as a threat and our mind blocks it out. I don't know how true this is, but the thought of it is so scary to me. I wanna remember the good stuff too and I can't
@@jazmynnv5831 THIS. it’s not that I’m choosing my body is doing it to protect me - I know that but I still wanna remember something !
I really relate with the pressure you put on yourself for dating and the loneliness that comes with seeing everyone in relationships. Thank you for being so open, helps me feel less alone
I can definitely relate to the whole relationship aspect of this. I’m 29 and still have never been in a relationship with anyone, and its difficult to deal with when it seems like everyone around you thats the same age is getting married and having kids. But I also don’t want to rush into things just for the sake of being with someone. I want it to happen naturally and have a real genuine connection with someone. I really appreciate you being open and honest about all of this. It makes me feel less alone. I feel like we definitely deserve to have great relationships in our lives. I would love to see you do more content like this when you can, just like chatty life updates (especially about mental health and relationships) and what’s on your mind at the current moment.
This is me 😫
THE WAY YOU TALKED ABOUT DATING IS SOMETHING IVE ALWAYS THOUGHT!!! like did y'all take a class in dating and relationships that i missed or something?!! you put it so goddamn perfectly my jaw is actually on the floor. tysm for posting this and making me feel less lonely. (not alone because we never truly are!)
Not a class but I learned everything through my parents. I am very very fortunate to come from a household where my parents openly expressed their love for one another. They were also so honest with us about how even though they were in love, sometimes they fought and had disagreements. That's how I learned to date through them. I mainly just watched them as a kid and was like, "Yeah, I want that."
I hate that we’re all out here being so hard on ourselves. You having had that day with the ER and saying ‘i didn’t do anything else after that’ girl!!! U did so much!!!! U did enough!!! And being tired the next day? Totally ok!!! Completely understandable!!! Its frustrating to be so tired and ‘having to do stuff’. 😢 but digitally hugging you. I hope you’re giving yourself grace, you’re doing what you can and you’re doing it well
society puts so much pressure on women to be in relationships and i feel like i’ve never heard someone speak about it and in this way before. tysm for talking about this and shedding light on what it’s like being a single woman ❤
This was refreshing.
It sounds to me like you’re ready for a “real” relationship; one without games, one where both parties accept each other for who they are, imperfections and all, and one where two whole people come together to share their lives, not “complete” that of the other person.
I don’t see anything wrong with that, that’s called being real and it’s a rare gem in today’s society. Keep doing you and shining your light and the right people who can match that WILL come along ❤
I feel like dating/relationships are one of those things that you have to just jump into in order to learn. I always put so much pressure on myself to prepare for things that mostly require learning on the spot, as-you-go. Very hard and scary but liberating when you let go of that need for control
re: dating convo
ME FREAKING TOO. thank you x10 for sharing your thoughts and experiences because they are so much more universal than any of us think
What I exactly know about love is that when you meet exact person - everything started to flow in right direction. I met my amazing loving boyfriend at 21 yo and before him I never even had relationships. I’ve felt loneliness for couple of years,I’ve craved relationships and also felt left behind. What really helped me - is to stop looking for love. I just let it go and stopped looking for love,but continued looking for friend. I was playing with tinder geolocations in order to practice my language, so I was looking for someone just to talk. Swipe left and it’s been 2 more years of long distance with meetings and preparation to move. I don’t know how it goes,but when you really stop intentionally looking for it,thinking about it - it comes. Love is flow,no strict rules and instructions
god everything you are saying about your feelings towards and about relationships is so relatable, literally exactly how i feel. and also how you can't remember most of your teenage/high school years and early adulthood. this candid conversation has brought me so much comfort, knowing that i'm not alone with a lot of these feelings/worries that you mention
not putting a label on you at all but the way you talk about romance has always made me think of aromanticism! seeing the effort of it as wearing a mask, wanting a partner springing from seeing those around you having one, valuing platonic love at a higher level than most - again, zero attempt here to label you, just something i noticed! been watching your vids for years and you’ve been keeping me going with your vlogs for forever
I am so sorry you are going through this all, but I cannot tell you how grateful I am for you sharing. Your videos help me feel not alone & that someone understands what I’m going through ❤
And in terms of dating - I think that honesty and level of “I really don’t know what I’m doing” is super charming. It will attract the right human!! Being yourself will never turn away the wrong person. And a relationship is a HUGGEEE exploration of yourself since you have a human foil to reflect yourself back to you. Anyways! It’s okay if it feels weird and unnatural to you, it becomes easier with practice, and truly, honesty! Your honest self is your hottest self 🫶🏼 And you are more than enough!
I have a sleep disorder which in turn worsens my ADHD symptoms during the day and I’ve been in this loop of feeling EXHAUSTED. I literally got a surgery to fix my devoted septum just hoping to improve my breathing during sleep which I was told by doctors coulddd help. It helped a little bit still I had a lot of trouble and fatigue all the time. Short from another WAY worse surgery (as described by the doctor who did my first one) my only other option is wearing something during sleep that could in the future lead to other problems with my jaw. So I set out trying to learn and do everything to help my sleep possible and I’ve found that mood throughout the day REALLY affects my sleep which is probably directly linked to hormones (which can also affect sleep). Of course all sleep hygiene practices are there (dimmed lights at night, no screens, cold room, hot shower), and I started doing some breathing exercises and gone as far to include massaging my earlobes because I read it could help relax you. So yes I really feel this. + the whole feeling like there’s a game you don’t know the rules to for relationships. Like it’s been years since I’ve been in one and I just don’t get it anymore honestly + yes I also have trouble believing people like/love me (friendships included).
I think a lot more people than we realize deal with what we deal with and that’s comforting in and of itself
So many thoughts on what you said. I also have struggled with depression since a very young age. I considered myself a late bloomer as well (only had a very short relationship in 9th grade which I don't even count) and was way too in my head to really date. Nothing made it past the talking stage in college and in hs, I had crushes that never materialized into anything meaningful. I commend you for taking the step to get out of your house more. That alone is putting yourself out there to make organic and genuine connections, both platonic and romantic. I didn't have my first real bf until I was 24. The only reason I'm with him is because we ran into each other a night I was invited out and almost didn't go because I was too depressed and avoiding all my friends lol. You are doing great and even though dating sucks, these tiny steps toward putting yourself out there in any way do mean something! Wishing you love and hope your insomnia calms down soon
Thank you for talking about loneliness. I have felt it more intensely than ever lately and it's so comforting knowing others are going through it too.
hey Reese, I don't want to overshare on the internet but let me just say that I completely related to the part where you talk about relationships. im in my late 20s, my friends are getting married one by one, im single (LOL) and not doing anything about it. I do feel the loneliness sometimes..I don't know where im going with this but I just wanted to say you are not alone on how you feel. thank you for being vulnerable with us ❤
One of the best pieces of advice I found for dating is put yourself in places where you’ll attract people like you! So hang out at a bookstore, craft meetup, something like that :) Where you spend your time is where you’re most likely to meet people who share similar interests! Girl I just want to see you happy, let me be ur personal hype man haha
For worrying about being too much or not enough, whenever I feel like this I try to remember that I want to be with a person who likes all of me, also if its meant to happen it’s going to happen. Hope your feeling better
I understand the whole “my personality doesn’t come through text” thing. I met my boyfriend of a year on Tinder and we met up in person really quickly (the day after we matched actually). I never liked to chat a lot over text before meeting someone in real life, cause keeping conversation going over text is hard!
Thank you so much reese for this talk. Now, I know that there's also someone I know from the past few years that she struggles with such things that others are able to do naturally. It's so nice to see you talk about mental health and other things
girl i hope things are looking up for you. i watch like five of your videos a day to give me the motivation to look after my basic needs.
I want you to know that I 100% relate to everything you said about dating, especially as a 27 yr old 7th wheel in my friend group. I love myself and think that I'm a genuinely cool person but romance just does not compute for me. I've never had a solid relationship and the whole process is just embarrassing to me. I wish you the best, because I know it's rough out there
Girl same with the ghosting!!!!!! Glad I’m not alone
Literally on the same wave length with your dating situation.
Might sound weird but i think what has helped me the most with bouts of insomnia is doing way less than more. Like if i have a bad night of sleep not letting myself obsess about it or think about it at all when i wake up.not doing a ton of things to compensate. I notice the less i obsess about sleep and how im gonna sleep that night the wayy better i sleep . Also certain things like teas, yoga, meditation b4 bed can help but only have made things harder for me because i'm putting so much pressure on myself to feel good and fall asleep instantly. That might be the case for you too I'm not sure. What's helped me is every time i notice myself spiral about sleep or how it's gonna go that night i redirect my attention to something else. I feel like, that way, sleep becomes a neutral topic for me again and gets me out of that funk. Then, i start sleeping at night normally again because I feel wayy less stressed about it and not so "on alert"
Tldr: less pressure/obsessing abt sleep=way better sleep patterns(at least in my case) :)
Thank you for always making me feel so seen ❤❤❤
Yes! Be yourself off the bat, if they don’t like it it’s not meant to be! It helps both parties not waste any time
Reese, thank you so much for opening up about dating and loneliness ❤Currently 23 and I got out of a 3 and half year relationship and this past year has had so many ups and downs of being single after a long term relationship. I've felt that self inflicted pressure more lately for some reason and it's comforting to know I'm not alone in those thoughts. Thank you for always being so open and transparent about topics that I feel like many content creators don't talk about as much or in a way that doesn't sugar coat reality.
I've been where you are when it comes to relationships. I've spent years asking myself what was wrong with me because everyone was in relationships but me. But in the last maybe two years I've finally realized that "Having to date" is a society problem and not a me problem. And I'm happy by myself and I know my friends aren't leaving me behind when they get into relationships. As long as I'm happy I don't see why I need to stress about getting into a relationship. What does sometimes stress me out about this: the last couple of months I've been working in a hospice and I sometimes ask myself if the end of life is going to be lonley if I don't have relationships or children. Because most of the time it's the spouse or the children who help out (at least here in germany). But I just need to remind myself that everything's okay and there's no need to stress as long as I am happy with my life as it is right now.
idk if you’ll see this and this may be sooo annoying to here but i was in the same place where i wanted a relationship but nothing was working and when i finally let go of the idea of having a relationship, it literally just happened and now i’m with the best bf ever. so understanding, likes me FOR ME WOW. LOL but seriously i think don’t worry about how old you are rn and what stage of life you’re in. just put yourself out there more (that job will def help) and it’ll come to you. don’t question how or when. just try to let go by focusing on other things and plans :)
Girl! I watch you every morning whilst I get ready for work 🩷 this video is everything! I feel like you’ve dived into my brain and explained EVERYTHING I’m feeling.
I was similarly clueless about successfully striking up conversations with women back in the day, much less making the jump from friendship to dating etc. I always figured that they (women), and few lucky dudes, just naturally knew what was up, and that somehow, I didn't. It's interesting to hear you feeling the same way, despite being one of the people I would think were in the know, attractive, confident, successful, et al. Now I think the dating exchange is a little like catching a fish, where you don't try to reel one in all at once. I also think common interests are one of the best ways for people to eventually find each other. As with all my theories of course, the usual disclaimers apply.
we're like THE SAME person, i love u so much, u always make me feel validated and ur an incredible person
reese i’m sending lots of love your way 🫶🏼 take care of yourself girlie
I feel everything you said. I've never felt more like someone is going through what I'm going through.
Everything you just said I relate so much!!! About the insomnia, always feeling tired, being a lot when meeting new ppl. I also act like I’ve already know them and share a lot upfront. I’ve never felt so validated until this video! I have depression and anxiety and it’s so hard to live in a world where it’s always “you always have to do something if not you’re lazy” kind of mindset. I’m in a constant loop of oh I’m depressed but I can’t go to therapy bc I don’t have a job, but I need to get a job in order to survive, but can’t do that bc I’m depressed and so fort.
thank you for always sharing the struggles in life because I’ve been struggling the same way, my mental health has taken a toll on my daily life where I have to take a leave of absence. And I’ve been feeling so lost with what I’m doing with my life to try to help myself but it can be struggle without the right support. I relate a lot to the social issue too and I’m glad you got a part time job to help you out the house! I enjoy vlogs like this because I truly resonate with what you say. TH-cam is the only social media I’ve been on but if you see this would love to get the chance to have a conversation with you! take care Reese
Yes!!! I really relate about the relationship part! I have AMAZING friends that I know that care deply about me but at the same time I'm nones prioritys because they all have theirs signicant other that comes first in certains aspects.
Reese your sofa looks so so beautiful and I love this video so so much you are my inspiration and I wish you have a nice weekend 🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️
I relate to this so much. I’ve been working on liking myself in therapy and once i’ve started getting there I’ve needed to work on sleep because it’s been awful. It seems like no matter the suggestion I just can’t get good sleep. Then there’s the dating thing- i’m 22 and have never been in a relationship and every time i talk to people i feel like i’m on a different planet and don’t know the rules. i’ve only been on a few first dates and they never go well. And i don’t even really have that many friends so i can’t just spend time with them. always feel like i love my friends more than they love me, and romance is difficult when i can’t even cultivate a friendship. you aren’t alone Reese, being a 20-something sucks
I'm suffering with sleep too, and it's making me miserable
To make matters worse, i caught a cold .. literally I'm in a slump and it's hard to get out of it
Thank you so much for this video
You seem like genuinely a kind person
i'm nineteen and just starting university, and i relate so much to what you said about highschool and mental health struggles. i'm mostly a silent watcher but i just want to say i love these kinds of videos so much, they make me feel less alone, and i hope you're proud of how far you've come. ❤
You're SO relatable! Thank you for being so open, it really means a lot to know I'm not the only one
girl im right there with you 😃🥲
Honestly I have recently caved and gotten magnesium in hopes of helping with my insomnia, but something my therapist told me to do is keep a plan b plan in case I can't get up and it helps alleviate the feelings when I feel like I get nothing done. It has helped so much. I have been gifted with a promotion recently so I give you all the positive vibes as a friend and fan xoxo you need it rn
I relate so much.
girl I relate to you so hard on the dating situation but hopefully I can give you some hope:
I was the same as you, had one short relationship (end of HS) then so much was going on in college I forgot all about that relationship and didn’t end up dating anyone else. I totally developed a sense of self during that time though, and post college I knew I wanted to date but was just not up for playing mind games, not acting like myself, etc. I also hadn’t even kissed anyone in 4 years at that point (!!) so I felt like I was completely starting back at square 1, and was starting to see all my friends settle into serious relationships.
anywho so I finally get settled in a new job in a new city post college and decide to put myself out there. I went on one hinge date (went ok, I wasn’t really feeling it though), then went on a second with a different person. that second date was with my now boyfriend of 1.5 years. as soon as I met him I instantly felt comfortable around him and again just totally acted like myself the whole time and to my surprise, it didn’t scare him off!!
all this is to say just keep being yourself and don’t feel like your the only one. I’m sure many people you know in relationships felt the exact same as you before they met the person they’re now with, so keep that in mind!!
really feels like talking to a friend ❤☺
totally understand where you’re coming from about putting on a mask while dating. i’ve alwaysssss felt like that but i’m finally in a relationship except it’s with someone i’ve know for a good amount of time and was friends w first. that’s the only thing that’s helped me get out of that feeling. sometimes i still feel like that though, i think it is a side effect of my anxiety and worrying about how everyone perceives me. in my heart idc but my brain sometime wins. idk if this helped at all but yes.
feeling less alone 😌 so grateful for this video
Thank you for being so open and honest about your struggles. I can definitely relate to some of what you said!
maybe you could be aromantic? it's something i've been wondering about myself as well
girl I seriously think we’re always on the same wavelength as a fellow Gemini. I have been thinking a lot about relationships too and feeling behind for my age.
This was so beautifully honest, thank you so much for sharing ❤
You have 135k people in your corner you got this.
Girllll, we are the same age, both geminis and I have been watching your videos since probably 2016, and I can say I relate to a lot of this SO hard. You are totally not alone in your feelings!! It's such a struggle sometimes but looking at these comments it's clear the feelings are mutual which I hope feels comforting to you!
It’s so beautiful to hear you speak to candidly about all of this girl!! I’m sorry to hear about the money struggles, I’ve totally been in that boat too and it’s so disheartening how we have to end up prioritizing earning money over our health. I’m hoping eventually that will dissipate but phew. That shit is hard. But hey! The universe is still on your side, just waiting for you to push through to make that break through. We got this queen
I needed this thankyou
I'm so proud of you. Just keep going ❤️
this is such a relatable video reese, thank you so much for talking about it. i really appreciate that you talked about it, even if you're not super comfortable with it. thank you so so much
I feel so similar to you about dating! I just stopped looking and I’m hoping as I meet more people I will open up more
Have you tried magnesium gel or cream? You can put it on any aching pain or on the bottoms of your feet to help with sleep! It’s sooo helpful and applying magnesium topically is the best way for your body to absorb it!
Hi! I’m a regular watcher and am normally a ghost watcher bc social anxiety but I just wanted to let you know that I love your content and that I hope this even helps a little bit with the algorithm issue…
I dont know about the views because i rewatch all your videos so i can do chores along with you ( body doubling - adhd) but im sending you love so things get better ❤
I love you, Reese! I’ve been following your journey since basicallyyourbible (lol, yes, really that long), and you’ve always been such an inspiration for me ❤❤
thank you so much for sharing this
Loved this lil talk ❤️
Lol girl I'm 28 never been in a relathionship, have no friends. And honestly - I don't need any, I always like to hang out by myself, for me even beeing around people is exhausting not mention taking to them or trying to carry a meaningfull conversation. I used to be very ashamed of myself because I don't fit in into social norms. But now I accepted myself as I am and don't carry about other people judgments and expectathions.
Honestly the right person will love that you come on strong, and also I used to be the same with not knowing when people were flirting with me or were into me, and then after I sort of did some work on myself and got more in touch with my intuition and sacred sexuality it seemed like all of a sudden I could tell IMMEDIATELY and very clearly and it became SO obvious even if they weren't super obvious about it, so idk if that's helpful but there is hope. It literally used to be such a big joke with my friends that I could never tell even if they were SO obvious. And idk if this applies to you but part of it for me was a deep seeded shadow of this unconscious denial or disbelief that someone could be into me so I wouldn't pick up the signs because of that, if that makes sense. You'll get the hang of it girlie ❤️
Girlllll I've never related to someone so much in the dating department! I'm so late to the party and dating apps destroy all my self confidence. Where do we even start??? Next time I'm feeling all gross and romantically lonely, I'll remember there's so many of us experiencing the same thing
Its very much okay to be single as I'm myself 24 and dont have relationship. I think it will come around at right time, we definitely cannot compare these things.
I felt everything you said 😢❤
I work third shift and struggle with sleep, my biggest saving grace recently has been taking a magnesium supplement. 200mg everyday, and I’m falling asleep faster, staying asleep, and getting better quality sleep!
I have a friend who has insomnia issues and after trying everything on the market, she finally got results with a sleep therapist - to save you from paying for therapy, the advice was to start by going to bed with the purpose of only going to sleep for a few hours (i.e. sleep from 12-5 if you only typically sleep 4 hours normally) and then gradually increase. Hope it helps!
Try cherry juice or kiwis right before bed to help with sleep + ashwagandha
hey girl, totally loved this chat and just want to put it out there re; relationship struggles - you are not alone!! i am in my mid-20s and have always felt so fulfilled by the platonic relationships in my life. i think i am mentally/emotionally a romantic person but in reality way too practical/earnest to play the dating game and pretend to be someone i am not, therefore have resigned myself to being alone but open to the possibilities (???) anyway it's rough out here, i hear you, and i unfortunately don't have advice but offering solidarity!!!
Loved loved loved this sit down chill podcast style video really please do more 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽💙and know you’re not alone in any way so many people feel the same as you and can relate☺️
Love love love this video!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about romantic love - I felt that💛
Hiiiiiii (a regular here!!) I used to be the same with dating and then it finally clicked so don't give up hope. Also don't rule out the fact that u might not be straight! It felt so hard for me to flirt with men but flirting with openly bi women came sooooo naturally to me. I'm bi and in a relationship w/ a man now & loving it but yeah it took a relationship w/ a woman for me to understand dating 😅
What you were saying about romance reminds me sm of the song "Love Me Back" by Bene Stockwell
Your feelings are valid. It doesn't matter if someone has it worse, your feelings still matter.
I think the world has changed since 2020. Some people are more cautious about new relationships. I'm in my 30's and still single but not looking. I'm trying to figure out this new world we'ee in.
I can relate so much to the whole relationship thing. I think I might be asexual but not aromantic, so I actually would like to be in a relationship, but I think I'm so traumatized, "too" mentally ill and blablabla that I just can't even start talking to people (even just to make new friends) so there is nothing going on at all, but everyone around me is in a relationship and I feel so alone. I have so many of the same thoughts you have, so just know you're not alone.
Even when I am really struggling or going through it, your videos have always been the light to get me through the hard times. Sharing your struggles with mental health has made me feel less alone. You will find your person and whoever that is will be the luckiest person in the world. Take care of yourself, lots of love🩷🩷
Have you tried magnesium for sleep? My sleep quality is so much better since taking it an hour before bed. I also use ear plugs & an eye mask. The older I get the more I value good sleep!
Good luck with everything ✌🏼
Wow, we have a lot in common. Thank you for sharing this with us. It helps us out a lot, too. ❤
Loving this vulnerable chat Reese ! Your take/experiences around dating sound soo similar to mine. I have a Capricorn Venus and Saturn in the 7th H so these days I just chalk it up to being a late bloomer, and fingers crossed my time will come later in life (i'm 25 rn)... I wonder if you have Saturian energy too which can often make us feel like we didn't get told the rules of the game like everyone else did 💖💖
i feel like this was exactly what i needed but also i wanna give you the biggest hug🤍
I have bartonellosis from a bug bite and it started w red lines from the bite and exhaustion I’m not tryna make you paranoid but just watch your symptoms and do your research to make sure u get adequate attention as bartonellosis might require longer abx
You can substitute teach to supplement your income and create your own schedule 👍🏻😀
I can really relate to the feeling of being in a hump rn. About your sleep, I would talk about it to your psychiatrist or whoever controls your meds, I had the same problem and trazodone really helped! Maybe there is something out there for you to. And about dating, if they are playing games maybe they are not worth getting into. Hope you get better soon ❤❤❤
Loved this video! I resonate so much I even teared up 💙 xx
i feel similarly about dating. i’m 25 and want marriage, pregnancy, children, etc., but at the same time i’m on the aroace spectrum so it’s very rare for me to even experience actually liking someone.
High five to you, my fellow ace 🥹🖐️ I don’t want to have children or go through childbirth, but damn, it can get lonely out here…
Oh the way that I feel you girl. I am 25 yo. I feel like all the people around me are getting married. Meanwhile I am living alone with my cat having only few close friends. Last 2 relationships I had ended super quickly, like those men just got over me in a blink of an eye. I know my value and I am unwilling to play games and accept bare minimum. I guess I am just starting to accept that it is what it is and I am on my own and all I got is me. Alsoooo I do suffer from insomnia too exept I usually cannot fall asleep. But there have been times when if I wake up in the night I will not fall asleep again. I need to take meds for that but they are not strong enough. Insomnia is an awful issue and IT IS A REAL DIFFICULT PROBLEM. Hugs from Poland
I relate to seeing all your friends dating and you being alone. I’ve only really had 3 relationships but none of them are good and healthy. I haven’t tried to date in so long I don’t know if I could.
so important for everyone, especially young people, to save as much as they can when they have excess income. you never know when your circumstances are going to change or inflation is gonna kick in really bad, and we still gotta hang around for half a century.
Loving your videos. Thank you. Love you California Joanna