Actually, my husband told my ex-girlfriend (that he was having the affair with), " If Janet ever finds out about us, it will break her heart". He continued to meet her for sex after he told her this. We were in bad shape financially. But he paid for hotel rooms for them, rather than pay his bills with what little income we had at the time. He had sex with her in our marital bed and her marital bed. Needless to say after she confessed everything they did to me, we are no longer friends. She wanted him to leave me for her. She was in love with him. She did her best to bust us up. It did not work in her favor. She is now divorced again. I am still married to the same man for 45 years. It has been mentally challenging for me. God Bless each and every one of you that goes through any type of affair.
It takes incredible strength to endure what you have described. 45 years of marriage speaks volumes about your resilience. Healing is possible, even after profound hurt. Remember, you're not alone. I hope the following article can be of support: What is Healing? www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founders/after-an-affair-what-is-healing
Man it took me over 3 yrs to heal from the crazy emotional and mental pain i went thru from being cheated on. Hearing and watching this video is traumatizing! Affairs is horrible!
It's understandable that you're still feeling the pain of betrayal even after three years. Healing from infidelity takes time, and it's not uncommon to feel triggered by reminders of the affair. Remember, you're not alone. We at Affair Recovery have helped countless individuals and couples navigate the aftermath of infidelity. Our resources, like the online course "Harboring Hope" or the intensive "EMS Weekend," can provide the tools and support you need to continue healing. Feel free to explore our website or call us at 888-527-2367. We're here to help you find a path toward healing and a life filled with meaning and purpose.
I had a difficult time getting through this video, in all honesty. After uncovering my wife's second affair this October, I'm done trying to understand her motivations or even caring about what trauma may have led her down those paths. She can work out her hurtful dysfunction on her own time... This time, I'm going to prioritize protecting myself and healing from her life-altering and devastating actions, rather than foolishly protecting the relationship itself. If, in the unlikely event, I meet a woman who shares my values in the future, fine. If not, also fine. I'd rather suffer crippling loneliness than the agony of betrayal.
I wonder if y’all have a female unfaithful on your staff. I hear you guys take a very honest, accountable take on your own infidelity, but the only females on your team I have heard are the betrayed. In my own life I have heard females indirectly admit to infidelity but they DO NOT take direct accountability. If fact, they still get very defensive if it is framed that way .instead they find euphemisms and redirect the blame. Are there any women who take real accountability for their infidelity?
I'm two years into recovery from my husband's emotional affair. Im doing OK but I will never be the same person again or love him the same way again. My vision of him and our marriage is forever shattered.
I totally understand I’m three years in this and all most every day is a struggle for me. I’m still so broken headed. I feel like all of my little girl dreams have been destroyed.
@kimwolf8472 I totally understand. Everything that you thought about love, loyalty, and growing old together in love is, poof!, gone. The veil has been lifted and you have to go through this awful life without your rose colored glasses!
My son passed away. 2 days after his funeral H was online chatting. Sent gift cards. Yes, I was grieving my son. I did spend some time by myself praying and getting used to the fact he was gone and left two children. Instead of being supportive to me, he was asking for hook ups, complaining and lying about me. Being nicer to these romance scammers than he ever was to me. I saw it as a childish temper tantrum. He wasn't center of my attention, so he had to be the center of someone else's. I thought I should be allowed to process and being given the grace to do so. I was still functioning, making dinner and so on. So he was thinking about me enough to lie and complain about me. Marriage counseling provided no help. Neither did individual.
You are absolutely right !!! They are absolutely thinking about their spouse, they call you right before they hook up with the affair partner to see where you are, then to tell you their thinking about you and they love you. Then they hop into bed with the affair partner. Telling the affair partner, we better be careful, we do not want the wife to find out about us or your husband. Why do these video's call them the AP, just call it what it is...the Affair Partner!! It does not change what they did just by calling them AP. Right? It is just as triggering to them to hear AP as Affair Partner.
I think the same thing. Not sure how therapists can say that means they aren't thinking about you during the affair, sex, etc. especially when the wayward actually says things like "I was angry with you"or "I felt rejected by you so I did it ". There was obvious thoughts about the betrayed spouse.
It's a cruel manipulation to express love and concern for a spouse while actively betraying them. These actions highlight the deceit and disregard for the pain inflicted on the betrayed partner. And you're spot on about the term "AP." We shouldn't shy away from calling it what it is - an affair partner. Sugarcoating it doesn't diminish the hurt and betrayal. At Affair Recovery, we believe in honesty and transparency. Facing the truth, no matter how painful, is crucial for healing. Maybe the following article can be of assistance. www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founders/responding-to-affair
but how many unfaithful spouses are actually willing to put the needs of their spouse above their own? I feel like most of the time it’s just placating and bare minimum to keep their partner satisfied. this is the behavior my wife exhibited and all of the men that I’ve talked to that have cheated on their wives have never gotten to a point where they stop blaming others and look at their own behavior as the issue that it is.
We're so glad this information was helpful. Remember, you're not alone, and healing is possible. Feel free to reach out to us through our website, AffairRecovery.com, if you need further support or resources. We're here to help you find a path toward healing and a life filled with meaning and purpose.
I am so sick of everything being all about why they did it and trying to understand the unfaithful. What about the betrayed? Is the unfaithful trying to understand their betrayed partner?
It's absolutely valid to feel that way. Healing from infidelity must include understanding the impact on the betrayed partner. We can't just focus on the 'why' behind the affair. True healing involves both partners understanding the pain, rebuilding trust, and finding a path forward together. We have more information here: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/why-couples-fail-after-an-affair-not-knowing-what-happened
@@maykiirwin9894 no, sadly most unfaithful don’t really care to understand the betrayed partner. Taking the time to truly understand someone comes from a place of unconditional love which is usually not present. Also by understanding the betrayed spouse, they would have to actually think about what they did which they hate doing because it brings shame and sadness. It’s “easier” to not think about it.
@maykiirwin9894 This! Spent thousands on marriage counceling just to be told i had to put it in the past and move forward. No one cared what I went through. Just that he had an "addiction" that lasted 3 months. I saw that chats where he "loved her" told her she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Wanted to live with her. All the counceling revolved around him.
Actually, my husband told my ex-girlfriend (that he was having the affair with), " If Janet ever finds out about us, it will break her heart". He continued to meet her for sex after he told her this. We were in bad shape financially. But he paid for hotel rooms for them, rather than pay his bills with what little income we had at the time. He had sex with her in our marital bed and her marital bed. Needless to say after she confessed everything they did to me, we are no longer friends. She wanted him to leave me for her. She was in love with him. She did her best to bust us up. It did not work in her favor. She is now divorced again. I am still married to the same man for 45 years. It has been mentally challenging for me. God Bless each and every one of you that goes through any type of affair.
It takes incredible strength to endure what you have described. 45 years of marriage speaks volumes about your resilience. Healing is possible, even after profound hurt. Remember, you're not alone. I hope the following article can be of support: What is Healing? www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founders/after-an-affair-what-is-healing
Man it took me over 3 yrs to heal from the crazy emotional and mental pain i went thru from being cheated on. Hearing and watching this video is traumatizing! Affairs is horrible!
😢I totally understand your pain
It's understandable that you're still feeling the pain of betrayal even after three years. Healing from infidelity takes time, and it's not uncommon to feel triggered by reminders of the affair.
Remember, you're not alone. We at Affair Recovery have helped countless individuals and couples navigate the aftermath of infidelity. Our resources, like the online course "Harboring Hope" or the intensive "EMS Weekend," can provide the tools and support you need to continue healing.
Feel free to explore our website or call us at 888-527-2367. We're here to help you find a path toward healing and a life filled with meaning and purpose.
I totally understand your pain, I'm still struggling after 40 yrs.
I had a difficult time getting through this video, in all honesty. After uncovering my wife's second affair this October, I'm done trying to understand her motivations or even caring about what trauma may have led her down those paths. She can work out her hurtful dysfunction on her own time... This time, I'm going to prioritize protecting myself and healing from her life-altering and devastating actions, rather than foolishly protecting the relationship itself. If, in the unlikely event, I meet a woman who shares my values in the future, fine. If not, also fine. I'd rather suffer crippling loneliness than the agony of betrayal.
I wonder if y’all have a female unfaithful on your staff. I hear you guys take a very honest, accountable take on your own infidelity, but the only females on your team I have heard are the betrayed. In my own life I have heard females indirectly admit to infidelity but they DO NOT take direct accountability. If fact, they still get very defensive if it is framed that way .instead they find euphemisms and redirect the blame. Are there any women who take real accountability for their infidelity?
I'm two years into recovery from my husband's emotional affair. Im doing OK but I will never be the same person again or love him the same way again. My vision of him and our marriage is forever shattered.
I totally understand I’m three years in this and all most every day is a struggle for me. I’m still so broken headed. I feel like all of my little girl dreams have been destroyed.
@kimwolf8472 I totally understand. Everything that you thought about love, loyalty, and growing old together in love is, poof!, gone. The veil has been lifted and you have to go through this awful life without your rose colored glasses!
Make affair a crime!
My son passed away. 2 days after his funeral H was online chatting. Sent gift cards. Yes, I was grieving my son. I did spend some time by myself praying and getting used to the fact he was gone and left two children. Instead of being supportive to me, he was asking for hook ups, complaining and lying about me. Being nicer to these romance scammers than he ever was to me. I saw it as a childish temper tantrum. He wasn't center of my attention, so he had to be the center of someone else's. I thought I should be allowed to process and being given the grace to do so. I was still functioning, making dinner and so on. So he was thinking about me enough to lie and complain about me. Marriage counseling provided no help. Neither did individual.
He was thinking about me when he was complaining about me, telling them we have to be careful. So...
You are absolutely right !!! They are absolutely thinking about their spouse, they call you right before they hook up with the affair partner to see where you are, then to tell you their thinking about you and they love you. Then they hop into bed with the affair partner. Telling the affair partner, we better be careful, we do not want the wife to find out about us or your husband. Why do these video's call them the AP, just call it what it is...the Affair Partner!! It does not change what they did just by calling them AP. Right? It is just as triggering to them to hear AP as Affair Partner.
I think the same thing. Not sure how therapists can say that means they aren't thinking about you during the affair, sex, etc. especially when the wayward actually says things like "I was angry with you"or "I felt rejected by you so I did it ". There was obvious thoughts about the betrayed spouse.
Yeah, especially when evading detection......
It's a cruel manipulation to express love and concern for a spouse while actively betraying them. These actions highlight the deceit and disregard for the pain inflicted on the betrayed partner.
And you're spot on about the term "AP." We shouldn't shy away from calling it what it is - an affair partner. Sugarcoating it doesn't diminish the hurt and betrayal.
At Affair Recovery, we believe in honesty and transparency. Facing the truth, no matter how painful, is crucial for healing. Maybe the following article can be of assistance. www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founders/responding-to-affair
but how many unfaithful spouses are actually willing to put the needs of their spouse above their own? I feel like most of the time it’s just placating and bare minimum to keep their partner satisfied. this is the behavior my wife exhibited and all of the men that I’ve talked to that have cheated on their wives have never gotten to a point where they stop blaming others and look at their own behavior as the issue that it is.
Wow this was sooo helpful. Information so clear, just like you really get it and helping us understand. Thank you so much!
We're so glad this information was helpful. Remember, you're not alone, and healing is possible. Feel free to reach out to us through our website, AffairRecovery.com, if you need further support or resources. We're here to help you find a path toward healing and a life filled with meaning and purpose.
"I didn't tell you because I knew you'd ne mad." That should have been your gut telling you what you were doing was a betrayal.
I am so sick of everything being all about why they did it and trying to understand the unfaithful. What about the betrayed? Is the unfaithful trying to understand their betrayed partner?
It's absolutely valid to feel that way. Healing from infidelity must include understanding the impact on the betrayed partner. We can't just focus on the 'why' behind the affair. True healing involves both partners understanding the pain, rebuilding trust, and finding a path forward together. We have more information here: www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/why-couples-fail-after-an-affair-not-knowing-what-happened
@@maykiirwin9894 no, sadly most unfaithful don’t really care to understand the betrayed partner. Taking the time to truly understand someone comes from a place of unconditional love which is usually not present. Also by understanding the betrayed spouse, they would have to actually think about what they did which they hate doing because it brings shame and sadness. It’s “easier” to not think about it.
@maykiirwin9894 This! Spent thousands on marriage counceling just to be told i had to put it in the past and move forward. No one cared what I went through. Just that he had an "addiction" that lasted 3 months. I saw that chats where he "loved her" told her she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Wanted to live with her. All the counceling revolved around him.
I was taking care of his dying sister, and he was cheating ,