Many of us ladies get stuck with shi**y men because of our childhood indoctrination. The only way I found relief was staying single for 10 years, developing my own checklist of bs that were dealbreakers, and developed the strength to know that I needed no man to be happy. I found my voice. You are a brilliant lady and I wish you all the best.
I agree. Listening to her story, although not to that extreme, could be many of our stories. Childhood experience shows up throughout your life. It doesnt end at "adulthood".
I dont think so. There is plenty women who also got stuck withput any indoctrination. Plenty that got out of intoctrination and broke through it. And others. It's a bit of character qualities and bit of lack of love and support system.
@@awareclueless When the people you are closest to treat your accomplishments as though they are nothing, a message is sent: You and your accomplishments mean nothing. I went through the same thing with my mother. I know exactly how she felt. Clear to my bones.
My wife went all through her childhood with crushing religious trauma from her parents. She rose above it an now is a compassionate RN working with seriously sick cancer patients.
A lot of Narcissists hide under the guise of Religion/Churches. Many abused wives are coming out of the shadows of abuse from Narc husbands. Right now in 2022. It’s crazy!
Your wife is an amazing person to have overcame and then devoted her life to service. Nurses are the real backbone of the Healthcare industry. Sending love to your wife.
I love how Mark knew that the last thing Jill needed in order to tell her story would be questions from a man. The physical and mental safe space to talk, without any other voice, is enough and is everything.
You can hear little blips of parts he cut out of his questions (I think that’s what that sound was). I think he wanted her and just her to tell her powerful story. She deserved this, all of this. Well done Mark @softwhiteunderbelly
Yes!!! This conclusion of hers in the end about love was isss sooo profound!!!! Real Love does not require conditions!! U know I hear religious fn BS alll the gd time but they always manage to leave out the most important parts!!! About LOVE!!! Like the 13th Chap of Cor!! Where God clearly spells out what TRUE UC LOVE IS!!!! AND WHAT BEING AN ADULT IS!! THE GREATEST CHAP OF ALL ALWAYS GETS PUSHED ASIDE!!! AND THE JUDGE NOT LES YE BE JUDGED!!! YE WHO IS WO SIN CAST THE 1ST STONE!!! OR FORGIVE OTHERS AS I FORGIVE U!! THEY PICK OUT THESE WEIRD PASSAGES AND THEY TWIST THEM AND TURN THEM SO MUCH AND SOOO TIGHTLY TO FIT THEIR SICK SELFISH BELIEFS OF WHAT THEY HAVE DECIDED IT MEANS! I MEAN I JUST SEE ALL THE VERSES OF THE BIBLE SOOO FN TWISTED TO FIT THE KKK CULTS PSYCHOS ETC.....I TRULY DESPISE RELIGION AND SEE IT ALL AS A RECEIPE FOR THIS RT HERE!!!
@Shitchlover551 Yeah but those conditions are like "don't kick puppies", not like "your skirt has to be exactly three and a half millimeters over your ankle". 😅
Evil people that mask their actions behind religion, are the worst kind This was an incredibly sad interview I hope you find your happiness - you deserve it
Evil people that mask their actions behind any principle of decency, are the worst kind. Doesn't matter whether that is patriotism, socialism, freedom, liberty, loving everybody, diversity and inclusivity, or religion. Traitors are the worst.
I am a survivor of both physical and psychological abuse and what I know is that the body will heal, but the mind-fvcking is something which can take a lifetime to work through because the wounds run so deeply. It's so hard to learn self-love when it's been beat into your head that you're worthless. You got this, Jill. You're a beautiful person
I don't think that self-love is learned by ourselves, but it is taught by others loving us. Besides that, it is also a mind fck, i believe. Try to feel proud of yourself, as that is a good step towards caring about yourself. ❤
I love Jill. I want someone from the admissions board of Oxford to see this, reach out to her and extend their prior offer to her. Jill and her story were fascinating!
I was thinking the same thing. If they saw this.. the work she could do.. she could really go places. But her trauma will need to be worked on. This woman is incredible. She will make such a mark on the world!
i’m sure your TH-cam comment will help her get a scholarship to Oxford! how about you actually email or contact the institution instead of commenting something you know will get you some Internet points and not to do anything to actually help her?
@@Natharsus that’s what I’m saying lol go find a better way, cuz comments on TH-cam won’t help. BUT if you do, I suggest you record your progress, because it’ll be nice to see it come to fruition.
@@Natharsus I did email them on her behalf. What have you done Brandon? Why don't you do something to help this woman rather than just posting negative and bullying comments just to get "internet points"? Hypocrite much??
@@xdmztryvsvedine2773 Why don't you do something to help this woman rather than just posting negative and bullying comments just to get "internet points"? Hypocrite much??
I was abused as a child I was terrified of going to hell. Was told women are supposed to be pure but guys can't control their urges. I had desires very very painful. It was hell. It also mixed me up and made me angry at God. Actually believed that God loves men more then women and they would get away with sins of the flesh but I would burn in hell because I was a woman. I had always intended on waiting until marriage. But I didn't and I always feared this. Felt really bad dirty. I never developed psychosis thank God but I went through all that trauma with religion roles of women. However I was fortunate enough to never have had that kind of trauma forced abortions. She is indeed strong and blessed to have survived and come through all that.
I've watched dozens of these videos. Jill's story was the most astonishing, eloquent and powerful of all. I am writing this six months after the video was posted after nearly 3,000 other comments have been made, so it might get lost, but I really do hope the message gets through that I wish her the best as she picks up the pieces and moves ahead. And, yes, Jill, I think you should write a book. So many people would benefit from hearing your story, and I am convinced you'd tell it masterfully.
This is like a textbook description of what can happen to someone after being brainwashed/gas-lit and traumatized for a lifetime...literally nothing was wrong with her it was just her brain trying to cope with such toxic and repetitively abusive environments...
And then some go on to repeat the behavior and abuse done to them. What led her first husband at the ripe old age of 19 to be such a horrible & abusive person, or her mother to treat her own child so absolutely terribly.
@Dzs M religion is mind control which is mental abuse and Jesus said follow your own spirit cuz “ye are gods” & your body is the temple. That’s why when the beg for tithes money using guilt and shame saying you’re robbing god if you don’t give them 10% of all your money that’s a form of mind control. You are the temple so 10% needs to go to your own personal savings.
Of all the abuse I’ve endured, gaslighting has been the absolute hardest thing to “un-do”. It’s insidiously psychologically damaging. I questioned every thought I had. It’s taken me 12 years of time and therapy to finally start to free myself from that mental hell. I can’t even imagine that compounded with all the other abuse she has suffered. She’s an extremely strong woman.
Mark is the greatest interviewer i have ever seen. He lets the person share there story without interrupting and just listens. He understands it's not about him but the one who is sharing their painful and sad story. Bravo Mark!
She had a total mental and physical breakdown due to trauma. This interview made my blood boil with the religious trauma turned physical turned mental. I come from a very religious family and they traumatized me mentally for longer than I care to admit. So this hit home hard for me. I'm so glad she is back on her feet and hopefully really working through things. What a brave woman. It's so hard when things happen that really aren't your fault, bit you carry the guilt of all the wrong done to you. I truly hope she wins in her next round of life.
I sincerely hope those ER nurses who commented and laughed when Jill was admitted to hospital see this interview. I also think it would (with Jill’s permission of course), be an interview that could be used for education in the health sector as well as in family services/domestic violence organisations.
Some medical professionals in hospital settings don’t know how to treat patients or they just lost the ability to be compassionate. I’ve brought family members to the hospital or stayed with them while they were there (in the ER, ICU, and regular rooms), and I feel a minor sense of medical trauma from how they were treated and how I was treated. I filed two complaints and received positive responses to those, but I doubt anything changed. It’s so sad to think about how people are being treated when they are scared and need help.
She's quite the warrior. I appreciate her ability to tell her story so well, I hung onto each word! It's hugely relatable for me. Much love to you both!
She told her story SO incredibly well. Seriously one of the best story-tellers that I personally have seen on this channel. I was so engaged the entire time. She obviously has such a strong spirit - being able to tell her story with such awareness at this time after everything she’s been through. A beautiful piece of art encapsulating an even more beautiful person with a fascinating story. Thank you
I agree , it was painful, haunting and completely free of.. ..artifice ?.. no... I can't think of the word but many traumatised people have recounted their misfortunes more than a couple of times. The awful lack of continuity of social workers and support workers means repeated tellings are the norm for many seeking help . Their stories can, whilst being so painful sound ...practiced?...not the right word either .... I worked in a project with 22 residents in 2000s , some had social workers , I was there four years , I never saw the same sw twice . I think for some weaving a cohesive narrative honed from repeated tellings is a way of having agency over the lives they had where they had none or very little
I can't begin to explain how helpful this episode was. My mother suffered from a similar psychosis after trauma and sadly didn't make it but hearing such an incredible description of how it feels to experience psychosis like this from someone who pushed through, really helped me feel more grounded in my memories of that time. Thank you Jill. You are incredible.
This unpacked so much more than I was expecting, as usual. If this woman wrote a book, I’d read it. I think it could also be healing for her and help her process everything that’s happened
This is what I was thinking. I think she has been through so much and I look up to her for finally finding her own way in the world. I hope she continues to share her story!
Hello Jill. I'm am 17 year old Albanian girl in Greece, hearing your life experiences and the way you've have been treated made me feel Very vulnerable and I truly don't know how you are still standing there and talking about this. Your soo strong Jill, I wish I could talk to you and learn from you . From this 56 minute interview I have grown big respect and love for you . And as for Christianity since I was 7 years old I was brainwashed with wrong beliefs about sex , homosexuality, abortion ect and even though I want to have a good relationship with God , I don't know if I can believe in a god that supports those kind of beliefs . Most importantly though all I want for you is the best in the world for you and your kids. I hope god or whoever rules this universe will always be by your side. Virtual hugs and kisses 🤗
Hi Klea, I know it’s kinda hard to understand when you’ve been conditioned to believe Christianity and certain beliefs others push upon us when we’re young and impressionable. I can assure you you’re relationship with GOD or whichever higher power you believe in is personal and no one else’s business. Whether you decide to have sex, abortions, smoke, gay, and etc that is you and GOD’s business and no one else’s. You are his child above all and you’re going to go through these things because it’s life in the end you will align with your path. He will always love you! A lot of people try to dictate GOD’s words and teachings that they have no right to. GOD will be with you in each step, loving, and guiding you. I can promise you that because I am living proof. I wish you all of the best my love 🥺💕
There are thousands and thousands of people who have died and seen heaven and Jesus. Muslims, toddlers, kids, atheists, addicts, murderers, Buddhists, people who never knew God before and never trusted in Him and they all have the same theme in there NDE, most of them had no inclination to even think about seeing heaven. That can't all be making it up. People from every corner of this earth have had this happen and live to tell about it. I am reading a book right now about tons and tons of different stories of people dying and seeing heaven, he'll and Jesus, so many of them never even believed in it. Heaven is very very real and so is Jesus. About 3 years ago when I was at my worst and lowest place. I was so empty and so confused and was going through a faith crisis and severe depression and addiction. Many times I held a gun in my hand contemplating suicide. I cried out to the creator of the universe to reveal himself to me and to show me the truth. God showed up and I instantly felt a peace I cannot explain. I felt a joy that no drink, no drug, no human has ever given me. I wasn't led to Buddha, Allah, Krishna, I wasn't led to some inner divinity inside of me, I was led to the one and only truth, Jesus. I began to get these instant downloads in my spirit, it was incredible. Suddenly I just knew and my eyes were open to why this that way and why this is wrong and this is right. In that time I finally understood that Jesus is not a religion. All Religions says do but Jesus says done. I began to study religions and how they are a distraction from the truth, they are all flawed and an endless ladder to climb of trying to be good enough.Nothing in this world has given me the internal peace and joy that Jesus has given to me. I cant explain it, I could not muster up this kind of peace myself, believe me I've tried. This kind of peace is not circumstantial, its not of this world and it cannot be replaced. Jesus is not a religion, hes not a theological concept, hes not an angry boss, hes not an energy, hes not a consciousness, hes not a respecter of persons, hes not a genie, hes not a tyrant and lastly hes not one of many ways, He is the only way. Jesus is a personal loving Father who created you, loves you and knows everything about you. Everything Jesus said would happen in the last days is literally coming to pass right before our eyes, biblical end times prophecy is being fufilled so fast I cannot even keep up with it. All other religions have so much error and failed prophecy but the Bible is the only one that has not one failed prophecy and is happening perfectly and accurately right in front of us. Most people don't even see it. I encourage you to look into this and you'll see to the convergence, the intensity and the frequency of biblical prophecy that has dramatically accelerated in the last 5 years. I open up the book of Daniel or the book of revelation in thThere are thousands and thousands of people who have died and seen heaven and Jesus. Muslims, toddlers, kids, atheists, addicts, murderers, Buddhists, people who never knew God before and never trusted in Him and they all have the same theme in there NDE, most of them had no inclination to even think about seeing heaven. That can't all be making it up. People from every corner of this earth have had this happen and live to tell about it. I am reading a book right now about tons and tons of different stories of people dying and seeing heaven, he'll and Jesus, so many of them never even believed in it. Heaven is very very real and so is Jesus. About 3 years ago when I was at my worst and lowest place. I was so empty and so confused and was going through a faith crisis and severe depression and addiction. Many times I held a gun in my hand contemplating suicide. I cried out to the creator of the universe to reveal himself to me and to show me the truth. God showed up and I instantly felt a peace I cannot explain. I felt a joy that no drink, no drug, no human has ever given me. I wasn't led to Buddha, Allah, Krishna, I wasn't led to some inner divinity inside of me, I was led to the one and only truth, Jesus. I began to get these instant downloads in my spirit, it was incredible. Suddenly I just knew and my eyes were open to why this that way and why this is wrong and this is right. In that time I finally understood that Jesus is not a religion. All Religions says do but Jesus says done. I began to study religions and how they are a distraction from the truth, they are all flawed and an endless ladder to climb of trying to be good enough.Nothing in this world has given me the internal peace and joy that Jesus has given to me. I cant explain it, I could not muster up this kind of peace myself, believe me I've tried. This kind of peace is not circumstantial, its not of this world and it cannot be replaced. Jesus is not a religion, hes not a theological concept, hes not an angry boss, hes not an energy, hes not a consciousness, hes not a respecter of persons, hes not a genie, hes not a tyrant and lastly hes not one of many ways, He is the only way. Jesus is a personal loving Father who created you, loves you and knows everything about you. Everything Jesus said would happen in the last days is literally coming to pass right before our eyes, biblical end times prophecy is being fufilled so fast I cannot even keep up with it. All other religions have so much error and failed prophecy but the Bible is the only one that has not one failed prophecy and is happening perfectly and accurately right in front of us. Most people don't even see it. I encourage you to look into this and you'll see to the convergence, the intensity and the frequency of biblical prophecy that has dramatically accelerated in the last 5 years. I open up the book of Daniel or the book of revelation in the Bible and I feel like I am reading all the recent news headlines. Jesus is real and is the only way. Heres a really crazy fact...the chances of a one man fulfilling 8 prophecies is 1 in 100,000,000,000,000,000 and Jesus did that and not only that but He fufilled over 300 of them!! Only Jesus did that and only Jesus died for your sins and shed His blood for you. Jesus is the only way to heaven!! Please ask Jesus to show you, He will reveal the truth to you. Love you. I really mean that!Bible and I feel like I am reading all the recent news headlines. Jesus is real and is the only way. Heres a really crazy fact...the chances of a one man fulfilling 8 prophecies is 1 in 100,000,000,000,000,000 and Jesus did that and not only that but He fufilled over 300 of them!! Only Jesus did that and only Jesus died for your sins and shed His blood for you. Jesus is the only way to heaven!! Please ask Jesus to show you, He will reveal the truth to you. Love you. I really mean that!
It has become my morning routine to listen to these people's life stories. Jill is an amazingly strong woman and I hope she finds happiness and fulfillment every day for the rest of her life!
Religious Trauma Syndrome is a type of Complex PTSD. It very often is in tandem with every type of trauma. Most religious trauma survivors experience physical, sexual, emotional, psychological trauma, on top of the spiritual trauma. Having spiritual trauma on top of all the other types of trauma is a type of devastation that people who have never gone through it can't understand. It destroys you on every level. And often times psychopaths are drawn to those environments because they have the utmost control over their victims. She is so articulate and empathetic. Thank you for sharing your story. You're not alone in these experiences, and you sharing your story gives voice to so many. I hope you find an amazing trauma therapist and can reprogram your brain from all the brainwashing and trauma. Because you deserve good. You deserve love. You matter. You are such a beautiful soul.
The way her mom responded about her not being submissive enough- heartbreaking. Religion and politics have no right tearing families apart. Family comes first.
evil and false and deceptive teachings have infiltrated most churches and turned them into hellish places. the real gospel and jesus are simplistically kind and uncomplicated, These control freaks that she encountered are the opposite of Jesus real teachings. I am so sorry she had to go through all that. It is videos like this that will scare atheists away from Jesus. Jesus himself warned, when asked what the end times shall be like......... to not be deceived. Many will preach a false jesus. Terrible. Luk 21:8 And he said, Take heed that ye be not deceived: for many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and the time draweth near: go ye not therefore after them.
@@crossing3790 People make up their own version of Christianity and people follow them instead of reading about Christ for themselves. Then people think Christianity is whatever a false profit proclaims it is.
@@NeiveVeve very true. One of the first verses I learned was. 2Ti 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
I have listened to hundreds of Marks videos. This is one of my favorites. Those people that saved her on the freeway; Saw a fellow human being needing HELP and they fought with her for her life. Incredible Story and you are inspiration Jill!
@@kariconant3488 Angels? After all the trauma she received from religious nuts, you think an angel saved her? Where were the angels at the start of her abuse? Pfffft
i agree!! i really want to see a part two as a follow up or any life updates. i wish there would be some type of way to support these individuals. i hope she’s okay
As horrible it is to know that others have gone through this and more, it does help me in knowing that I’m not alone and that my thoughts and feelings are validated by others who think & feel the same. I get really upset when people who have no idea of the trauma I’ve been through tell me I need therapy. It’s so fuc*ed up to me to even think of the thousands & thousands of dollars I spent on therapy just to be able to cope.
Organised religion is rubbish. My father is obsessed with it and I keep confronting him about it and he jus gets worse in his madness his ruined the whole family and now he wants everyone to be like him and his garbage church. It's important to have a relationship with God not a human like a priest professing lies before you in the name of the lord. The millennial generation and gen z we are definitely knocking down these colonial walls.... Even podcasting or streaming a spiritual talk with friends or strangers is doing Ng more good than these tithing institutions
I love this channel, it humanizes people that are marginalized and pushed to the wayside, I wish more people would watch these, the world needs more empathy.
I agree! I think this is one of my favorite channels because of the light that it sheds. My only disappointment when I watch is sometimes that I don’t know the outcome for someone later and the mom in me is a worrier late at night… And also disappointment sometimes that we don’t get to hear very many positive endings or outcomes as a consequence of his positioning Close to skid row or going into communities where he is specifically seeking trauma survivors. It’s nice to hear stories where people get to talk at their own pace and in their own way. But I sometimes walk away with a very negative impression overall of the state of events in the world. I wonder sometimes if he positioned himself on rodeo drive if the stories would look just as pathetic or sad at times. Or in average suburbia. The extremity of the stories we hear on this channel it was heartbreaking.
This story shook me to my core. What an absolute powerhouse of a human being. I will always keep her story in my mind when I need to recognize my own strength as a woman and as a person. Much love
"The main thing I've learned is that real love doesn't have conditions on it. Real love doesn't require adherence to rules & that was something I had to de-program from my whole life..." So true. Thanks so much for sharing your journey. Wishing you the very best!
She sounds like such a beautiful, truly beautiful genuine soul. And so articulate and well spoken. So sad to see someone so beautiful and thoughtful have to deal with so much pain and suffering. Jill if you see this I hope you have peace and love in your life. You are so so strong hon. Thank you so much for sharing your story
I can only imagine the amount of strength it has taken for Jill to survive all this and get this far. What an incredible woman. I'm so glad there are good people in her life now. I hope things will continue to get better for her.
Omg rarely do i ever sit and listen to someone's interview with full attention, but I couldn't stop listening. Nearly an hour and to tell you the truth I could have listened alot more. What a story! Wow! I'm so glad you survived all this so we could hear your story. Thank you for sharing, I know it couldn't have been easy to tell. I wish I personally was there to tell you these things and that your life does matter to lots of us. I hope you find complete happiness and peace to make up for all the trama you had to endure.
I was so mesmerized with her story. What a brave patient woman. Sounds like she was married to a malignant narcissist with sadistic tendencies. Her story could really be a movie. She so smart so I think she should write a book about it all. Which actress should play her part?
As a young man of 22, I just listen to women who have such stories like her, and my heart just hurts. I don’t want my own future daughter to go through any mental anguish like this. Understanding the balance between not coddling too much and not being too over bearing either is a delicate thing. I could only pray that I don’t see my own child go through something that they think of as tyrannical, and no such spiral of a troubled life takes place. Even though Jill doesn’t know me, and will never see me. I would just like to say, you’re very strong for even talking about this. I pray for you, I pray for you.
I believe Chris Rock has a great quote about his female friends and their bad relationships with their dads. He says you show boys you love them, you tell girls you do.
@@aliehawhite8616 I have to understand things like this if I seriously want to raise kind compassionate, and genuine people, which will outlast my existence. So I’m educating myself as much as I can while I’m young honestly. I’m consciously aware of my power in a child’s life. I just want peace for them, and no trauma cycles like this!
There is an old Jewish saying . When you are the father of boys , you worry . When you are the father of girls you do more than that . You pray. You have to be the ultimate loving father . You have to be the example of the man she may need later in her life .
This is what you call a strong person. Super strong. This is the other side of the coin. A person who, despite all of their hardships and abuse, they persevere and succeed in life. I’m so impressed. What an amazing woman.
She is really beautiful. You would never think looking at her if you passed in the street that she had been through all that trauma. Wish her all the best for the future..
It’s amazing how alone she was when she lost her mind. Check on your friends and family who don’t reach out. Maybe it’s not you, maybe they need someone.
It is not about religion. It is about having true relationship with God. Jesus Himself abhorred the hypocrisy of religious leaders such as the Scribes and Pharisees
Here are links to videos of well-educated atheists who became believers after experiencing God in the Spirit realm during their NDE. One atheist neurosurgeon, one atheist orthopedic surgeon and one atheist college professor th-cam.com/video/4GsoQRqnwV4/w-d-xo.html th-cam.com/video/h8W7cD820f0/w-d-xo.html th-cam.com/video/kLimoqZUWgw/w-d-xo.html
People will automatically abandon you when you need them the most. Like she said, "black is white & white is black". What's right is deemed wrong & vice versa. That is the work of the devil himself to feast on the targeted one's misery.
She’s the best example of heart and gut driven warrior! Thank you Jill for sharing your story, you are a beautiful human being and you deserve all the love in this planet
Àwe.. Jill . One life plus another half a life... my Mom read my journal too when i was young. 50 years later and i never violated anyone's privacy... not one time. It has an impact on a person especially when it's your Mom. You're beautiful, darlin'. *hugs;)*
my sister, 2 yrs younger, found my diary when I was 14 , read it and attempted to translate to my mom...then made fun of by both. ..betrayal and invasion of privacy
Same. Not a journal persay but a book of poems that substitute for a journal. And both of my parents tore apart my room and found it where I kept it, under my bed. Not only that they did not encourage my creativity instead shot me down. The betrayal has never left and i have never been able to express myself through writing in the same way
This really touched me in a way no other interview has. I had tears streaming at the end. When she said the nurses talk like you're not there, and laugh when you're a psych patient- it reminded me of when I was in that bed at the ER in her position. When she spoke about wandering the streets, and people pretending you're not there- I felt that. And then when she spoke on how giving somebody basic human kindness, and love can change somebody's life; I went to hug my fiance immediately after this interview- because he's the only one that has. Thank you, Jill for touching my life today- and sharing your story.
The worst thing for me, in a way, was Jill's mother's betrayal of her, choosing her sick natured, quasi religious second husband over her own daughters' needs (we didn't hear anything about how Jill's sister fared?) Also her father, who belatedly "unconditionally loved her", essentially abandoned her throughout her teenage years, choosing his "bachelor lifestyle" over his 2 daughters' needs. Had he been there for Jill during those teenage years, she might have been able to take up her Oxford scholarship, not meet her penpal & things might have ended very differently! Just goes to show that even people who enjoyed what Jill described as an "idyllic childhood" can have their lives derailed by the selfishness of the adults around them! 😢😢 Good luck with getting your life back on an even keel, Jill, and regaining your mental good health 🙏🙏.
As much as it's easy to blame the other people involved the main abuser was that religious man and he really should be held accountable for all of it. The mom has a responsibility too but she was also a victim of his abuse and manipulation
@@MellowJelly The mother literally chose her abuser from an Ad in the Paper. I realize her husband abandoning her created a Trauma response, that’s the only way I can wrap my head around mom choosing this diabolical abuse. It’s sad.
Jill's dad was there for the first part of the life , the part she enjoyed. I think her successful recovery draws heavily from this period where she was getting unconditional love and making healthy connections in her brain. It's so sad when a family fractures and those bonds break not because of the children but the adults who separate use a blunt tool for extraction that cuts and bruises the whole family
@@MellowJelly i disagree wholeheartedly. not that the man abusing her mother doesn't have responsibility for his own actions, but her mother is responsible for herself as well. she was a woman with children who decided to run after a man who advertised in the paper to live out some fantasy of being a tradwife and forced that on her daughter in spite of the fact that she hated it and begged her to leave. she deserves to be blamed for that, it's inexcusable.
Please if anyone is reading this and is living a similar life style please reach out, there is caring people who can help you. If you know in your heart someone is mis treating you there are other options. The outside world doesn’t know what hell your living in until we share with them. You deserve a better life💗💗 I hope this extremely intelligent woman is receiving the physiological services to free her mind of the horrific experiences she survived. I would love follow ups, as I have so many questions and hope she frees herself from the past and lives her future independently💗
I am in floods of tears after watching this. Jill, you are an incredible person who deserves so much joy and happiness. I’d love to know you in real life, you are clearly a gem. I’m so so so sorry this horrendous stuff happened to you. Life is just awful sometimes.
I was absolutely in awe watching Jill tell her story. The beauty, intelligence and calm aura mixed together was an uncommon trifecta. Jill, you’re such an inspiration!
Just wonderful how she allowed herself to become so open, honest and vulnerable about her psychosis. This video can help, not only those who struggle with psychosis, but family, friends, and mental health professionals who don't quite understand what they are dealing with. Big respect to you, Jill. And as always, thank you for what you are bringing us here, Mark... _/|\_
I can't believe you got a letter from Oxford, that is so amazing! And they reached out to you, you didn't have to apply! I'm so sorry that your mom didn't realize what a huge accomplishment this was but I'M PROUD OF YOU! Like someone else said, I would love to see Oxford reach out to you to make the offer again. You deserve it and you deserve to be happy.
That story is almost certainly a fabrication inspired by a Saved By the Bell episode that make people suddenly think that that's a normal practice. By her own account, she scored around the 90-95% percentile on the ACT. She didn't release her scores. Oxford has way more applicants who meet what they're looking for than they could ever hope to sort through. This charade reminds me of lumpen/working class people thinking that "pre-law" or "pre-med" are real degrees. There's no such thing. You can major in anything that you want. It's just recommended that people take classes that are helpful. So for med school, you're going to need all of the lower division math classes, an A required in organic chemistry, and physics up to quantum (one level past general). You can otherwise get into med school with a philosophy degree if you kill the MCAT. The issue here is that most aspiring doctors don't choose that route since they've already taken so many science and math classes that it's an easy transition to biochemistry. Law only requires the LSAT, though most at my college took meta-logic, which deals with second order questions, since it's helpful for that test. When I was at the community college, where my transcript would blow any high school student in that area out of water, no school offered me anything, yet I'd hear that "Duke offered Amber a free ride," who was this trailer park girl out in the boonies. I had a class with her. She was a serial liar. Had I never applied anywhere, I would have simply been forgotten about. I applied, then got into UCLA, 1 of 18 from North Carolina to transfer there for that class. Some of my contemporaries went to ivy league doctorate programs. They didn't get offers from Princeton. They had to apply. Oxford isn't going to look for candidates with strong ACT scores out of small boonie Christian schools. My husband also went to UCLA from a similar school and didn't get offers like that. Ben Carson didn't get an offer from West Point either. I feel bad for her, but I don't get why people lie like that except out of vanity or because they've been gaslit into thinking that they're dumb and so want to prove a point.
This was one of the most beautiful and well-spoken stories on this channel. She was able to tell her story in such a meaningful and captivating way. The interview didn’t even have to interject with any questions. This interview would read like a well-written book. I think Jill would be a wonderful author.
The fact that you are here today, telling your story, is a true indication of your incredible strength. So many young women will find themself under the fists of horrible men like your first husband. Hope this interview can be the HUGE sign they need to get out before things get much worse. Never believe an abuser when they say that they will change for you, they must change for themselves because the problem lies deep within them. Monsters hide behind religion every day
My mom gave me the same advice - don't think he's going to change after you marry him. If he has a bad habit, like alcohol, have him stop before going any farther in the rel.
Jill, thank you so much for telling your story. Many lessons to learn from your life experiences. Especially for parents.Religion should be a personal choice for every individual and never ever forced upon anyone , even children. Thanks Mark.
Misogynistic trauma. Jill is a survivor of misogynistic trauma. That Jill has maintained her voice and her sanity is absolutley incredible! Thank you!!
@@rev.jimjonesandthekool-aid4488 Ahh a predictable privileged moron (probably male you are) who has never been a victim of any kind of abuse, blaming a victim. You're such a stereotype
@@rev.jimjonesandthekool-aid4488 Imagine being such a bitter person with such a shitty life, the only way you can seek relief from your negative feelings is to attempt to hurt other people. Couldn't be me. I went to therapy. Works wonders for self-hatred. Because honestly, show me how you insult people and I'll show you what you're *most insecure about*.
I love the comment, “people need to talk with people who are psychotic like they’re there”. When ER nurses, treated her like she wasn’t there, and laughed…love and support and basic kindness helped. Real love doesn’t have conditions on it, real love doesn’t adhere to the rules.
I totally get her body breaking down. When you are in such high stress for so long and then get relief, your body just says stop. I know I didn't explain that correctly, so I hope someone understands what I mean. This lady is strong. I am so glad she got out of that relationship. Everyone needs a friend like hers. She couldn't do it herself, so he just did it for her. Had he not, who know how long she would have continued. I had a friend go through something similar. She literally collapsed when he was convicted and sentenced. If I remember correctly she slept for about 2 weeks. Just didn't have the energy to get out of bed. We (friends and I) took care of her and made sure her kids got to school, fed, bathed etc.
Yet another reason to be emotionally open and kind. No one chooses to have a mental breakdown... I'm so glad she appears to be healthy and working through her trauma and the hard life it fostered. ❤️ Hang in there. Everyday is a new day ..a chance to do and feel differently then the days before
Thank you for giving Jill the space and time to tell her story - no interruptions, no questions, just being with her and listening. You seriously couldn't have done more.
Such a powerful story to remind us how parenting shapes children’s lives. I think most of us now understand how childhood abuse can more often than not lead to a lifetime struggle with addiction but in this story I was reminded of how vital it is for a child to learn what a healthy relationship actually looks.
This is exactly what im going through and have been going through for the past 5 or 6 years. The mom, the dad, the pastor. Im still struggling everyday, and the hyper independence I have, just like her, is definitely a trauma response from all the gaslighting, brainwashing & betrayal. Watching this made me feel like im not alone. Thanks Jill, and i hope youre thriving!
I too have been through psychosis in 2021. It was scary and a silent battle. One of the hardest things I've ever been through. I've been through much trauma and abuse and lost my dad while I was going through my pyschosis which breaks my heart. Your a strong women and your story inspired me. ❤️
At the end when Jill said all the things she suffered through she then did to herself made sense. Survivors often believe there’s something inherently wrong with them and turn on themselves. It acts like a curse, affecting you long after your trauma. God bless Jill and all the survivors.
That was one of the most compelling interviews of SWU that I’ve seen. Jill is so intelligent and thoughtful that she’s able to describe trauma-induced psychosis - her own - in an almost clinical manner. She strikes me as a warm and decent soul. I wish her well.
I have chills because some of her experiences are a MIRROR of my own life. My biological father runs a cult in Tucson Arizona called Christ connection Chaplaincy. He left our family and abused us because she was not “open enough” and pursued his cult with a younger wife. My father delegated how we should behave and interact. It was very confusing for me. Women were submissive, skirt wearing tools for men who said thank you as they served men. Sexuality is a big proponent of this cult. My father has sexually abused multiple women and been accused of rape multiple times. He actually has his followers infiltrate marriages and rescue members (make partners cheat). He continues to practice his religion now.
This interview is profoundly moving. Jill, you were betrayed by so many, those who were most supposed to support you, but who seemed above all, to try to take power and control over every aspect of your life - physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual. I would guess that psychosis was an effort, in part, at least to have some sense of control over it, but how tragic you punished yourself so horribly. I can imagine - and this is personal experience speaking, too - that trust (in others and in your own judgment, which was only the result of what you knew) will likely take a long time to rebuild. I can see why it was so devastating when your dad, the only adult around you who had not abused you, suddenly passed away. 😢 I truly expected, given your articulate, intelligent, sensitive delivery, for this to end with your telling us you were writing a book. That could be therapeutic and help others, too, as your story here no doubt did. Kudos for your courage. I hope you find healing, strength, love ... and, yes, life-giving faith, in whatever form (even secular) you need to be fully you again. Please be kind to yourself. In my own trauma therapy, I've benefited from, yes, journaling, but also from EMDR (eye movement and desensitization reprocessing), which the VA uses to treat war veterans for PTSD or C-PTSD. I wonder if you could benefit? Something to ask your therapist. And thank you, Mark. I've seen maybe 40 or 50 videos, but this here is my first comment. Moving portrait of a life. And I noticed, too, you gave Jill air to talk and express herself, which she expressed she's rarely had. She is powerful on her own.
That's truck load of trauma! No wonder Jill had a breakdown when her one true person of unconditional love passed away. She carried that avalanche of pain until there was space to set it down. I wish her courage in her healing journey. I'm working on my own as well.
She is an amazing human being but her father's absence was the catalyst for all of the negativity going forward. Fathers, no matter how bad things get with your child's mother, never leave the physical proximity of your children. That just opens the doors for step-daddies, predatory boyfriends, etc.
Yeah but this guy straight up abandoned them for the entirety of their teenage years, like damn, he couldn't have done a checkup every few months...? That alone would've likely concerned him enough to get his kids out of that damn house. This guy was selfish though, and enjoyed being away from the responsibility of family
Doing exactly this and trust me when I say I've had it as bad or worse than the lady being interviewed by my daughters mom. People keep talking about mysogeny but there is the opposite of it being strongly encouraged and lived out by multiple generations of women raised by single moms... Sometimes the result isn't a poor helpless woman it's an extremely abusive and controlling woman. Although the root cause is the same... Sometimes though you need to leave for safety.. I left her for a couple years (thinking it would be forever. And rightly so) but the effect the divorce (well the lack of a family) was hard on my daughter. But at the same time even though the divorce depressed her, it helped ultimately because for one I got my freedom that was stolen (freedom isn't given only taken away) and seeing that the monolith of MOM was in fact wrong in many ways and people like that ONLY respond to consequences. Nothing short of consequences can change them and even so, guess what. Now that I've decided to live with her so we could have a family again, she's slipping back to her old ways a little bit although way less intense than it used to be.... But I still think now is better than it's ever been for our daughter. Even though compared to a "healthy" family we look like shit. But hey it's the beginning of breaking the cycle for our daughter .. may she not begin the 5th known generation of matriarchal abuse in this bloodline
The way she tells her story is like it was yesterday. She remembers EVERYTHING. In so much detail. I hope that sharing this helped her. I hope anyone watching this, who is in a similar situation will see that you CAN get OUT. I hope the dads seeing this will recognize how important you are to your daughters, to protect them; and to your sons, to show them how to respect and care for every woman you come in contact with. Mark, I’m a huge fan… I love you even more for just letting her tell her story and not interrupting or asking any questions. I think it was liberating for her. Would love an update on her if she wants to share more in the future. I hope she sees all these comments of support for her. ❤️❤️❤️
As someone who is dealing with religious trauma…this was very healing and triggering to watch. I struggle with OCD(paranoia/delusions) too. Lots of love and healing to you Jill…btw love all your jewelry and healing crystals💜
Abusive adults can really put kids on a path of so much pain and suffering as they grow up. I hope she’s thriving. It’s seriously incredible what she’s survived.
Hoping the best for her. Thank you for allowing her to share her story. People are so dismissive of the psychological effects of the abuse that is religious in nature.
I’ve listened to many of your episodes. This one left a profound effect. I really feel for her. Sometimes your own family can do the most damage. I hope she can shed the guilt she feels. None of us are perfect people. I hope she can find peace.
@@Reijiiee Where are you getting that from? Slavery existed long before Christianity, in MANY cultures unfortunately. The Hebrews were enslaved by the Egyptians, and not fans of slavery. And Jesus' apostles taught, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:28) At a time when slavery was common and women were basically property, that was an incredibly progressive and revolutionary message. Certainly, people have used quotes from the Bible to justify doing evil, in some cases even to support slavery, but these were usually taken out of context and twisted, with those perpetrating the evil blatantly ignoring scripture that opposed and denounced their actions. I'd also point out that many abolitionists specifically denounced slavery BECAUSE of the Christian concept that humans are all equal and deserving of love and respect. The concepts of equality and justice enshrined in the US constitution are rooted strongly in Christian concepts, and if they had truly been carried out to a Biblical standard, the US would never have had slavery.
Stop cherry picking the bible , the bible endorsed slavery and that’s a fact , you are also aloud to beat your slave as long as you don’t kill your slave and if you want to deny It I could cherry pick a heap more of the immoral weird crap that your book of lies endorses , like rape and murder .
The control structures of organized religion (Guilt and Shame) and the irrational fear of eternal damnation is a nearly impossible to break free from. Keep the vibration high sister! You're not crazy, society is. It's not easy to become real.
Spot on, especially when indoctrination starts at a young age. Children believe what they're told and indoctrination runs deep. It's a terrible way to live. I thankfully broke free from Christianity and life is so much better. Everything makes sense now.
@@opinionsarentfacts3515 It's really not fair to claim that the things in the bible are "fact", as there is absolutely no objective evidence for and gods, including the god of the bible. As your user name suggests, opinions aren't facts. I was a believer for nearly 50 years and took part in several different sects of Christianity, all of which foundations are guilt and shame. The bible says much more than to love one another. It also says to kill people that don't follow certain laws. Personally, I just cannot support, let alone worship, a being who is believed to have set up such a flawed world where such horrible things happen. I love people just as much as I did when I was a believer. Nothing in my personality changed. I just no longer have the questions I used to have that didn't make sense. Now everything makes sense.
So you believe we shouldn't feel guilt and shame when we lie, covet, steal, and kill? What is your standard as a good person? And what are you defining that standard by?
@@NeiveVeve I don’t think that’s what she meant. But when humans think they are in the position to be judge, jury and executioner they are standing on dangerous ground. Humans have no right to treat others as irredeemable. Humans do not have that kind of insight. They have no idea what kinds of atrocities others have had to bear. My mother thought lies were sport, stood in the same room while my stepfather showed me the grossest pornography imaginable from the time I was 6 and killed every dog I ever had. I can tell you that had a marked effect on my developing brain and made walking your chalkmark quite difficult. Walk a mile in my shoes.
@@opinionsarentfacts3515 please reread your username on here because you're presenting your religion as a fact! You unwittingly don't realize that you're part of the problem.
Between this interview and Clover's interview, this is one of the most hard-hitting videos I've ever seen. I appreciate so much these people and their experiences and their willingness to share that with the world. It has made a very positive influence on this 1 person. Thank you. I thank you very much.
This was so heartbreaking.. I too have experienced religious trauma and and I know how it just sets you up for additional trauma down the road. I also had a nervous breakdown, mine happened in college. I've never been so scared. I could literally feel my sanity slipping away. It is terrifying when you feel like you are losing your mind. If I didn't get the mental health treatment I received I don't know where I would be now. Now I'm a therapist and I help people like me. Thank you for your story, Jill. It really moved me. And my God that had to take such balls to work 3 jobs to leave that marriage. That had to be scary entering the workforce again and entering the unknown. A lot of courage.
Same on the "feeling your sanity slip away" ... it is the saddest and craziest thing in the world. I still find myself trying to hold on to my sanity 3 years later, every day is an adventure and challenge
Ok so I don't usually listen or watch anything if it mentions religion. But wow I am so glad I am walking home listening to this. What a warrior she is!! To go through what she has and she is an amazing human being. Xx
Wow. This was both mesmerizing and heartbreaking, Jill, if you're reading this, I wish you all the best and am so sorry for everything you've gone through. Take care. You're a wonderful person.
Many of us ladies get stuck with shi**y men because of our childhood indoctrination. The only way I found relief was staying single for 10 years, developing my own checklist of bs that were dealbreakers, and developed the strength to know that I needed no man to be happy. I found my voice. You are a brilliant lady and I wish you all the best.
I agree. Listening to her story, although not to that extreme, could be many of our stories. Childhood experience shows up throughout your life. It doesnt end at "adulthood".
I dont think so. There is plenty women who also got stuck withput any indoctrination. Plenty that got out of intoctrination and broke through it. And others. It's a bit of character qualities and bit of lack of love and support system.
I went through hell with $#1tty women. It's not restricted to one gender.
So your still single is what your saying..
@@Dive-Bar-Casanova wtf bro when did anybody say it was restricted to one gender?? she's just speaking on her own experience
I cried for her when she said she got the scholarship to Oxford.. You can hear the pain in her voice 💔
I did the same. What a waste. I can't believe this happens in the USA.
Me, too. I was treated the same with my academic success. I felt every word to the bone.
so fucking sad she decided against it in that moment, imagine what she could have accomplished. sad to see her scared by her own family.
@@awareclueless When the people you are closest to treat your accomplishments as though they are nothing, a message is sent: You and your accomplishments mean nothing. I went through the same thing with my mother. I know exactly how she felt. Clear to my bones.
@@fidesedquivide3486 This happens much more often in the US than you would think.
This is perhaps the most powerful episode I've watched from Soft White Underbelly. We see you, Jill. We hear you, and we wish you the very best.
I agree with you. This seems at top of unfair.
@@Instramark you're joking.
My wife went all through her childhood with crushing religious trauma from her parents. She rose above it an now is a compassionate RN working with seriously sick cancer patients.
A lot of Narcissists hide under the guise of Religion/Churches. Many abused wives are coming out of the shadows of abuse from Narc husbands. Right now in 2022. It’s crazy!
Your wife is an amazing person to have overcame and then devoted her life to service. Nurses are the real backbone of the Healthcare industry. Sending love to your wife.
@@tcoker0416 I love nurses :)
Bless her 💜
Wow, nursing makes someone a really good person!
I love how Mark knew that the last thing Jill needed in order to tell her story would be questions from a man. The physical and mental safe space to talk, without any other voice, is enough and is everything.
I do agree. Well done Mark!
You can hear little blips of parts he cut out of his questions (I think that’s what that sound was). I think he wanted her and just her to tell her powerful story. She deserved this, all of this. Well done Mark @softwhiteunderbelly
Ive seen a lot of these now
and Mark is always close to perfect
at saying just enough to get the story out.
Oh yea Mark is a gift to us. Nothing but love for him❤️
Good insight; I hadn’t understood why his Thankyou to her was seemingly abrupt and ended it just like that.
“Real love doesn’t require conditions”
Thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom, you are loved
Yes!!! This conclusion of hers in the end about love was isss sooo profound!!!!
Real Love does not require conditions!!
U know I hear religious fn BS alll the gd time but they always manage to leave out the most important parts!!! About LOVE!!! Like the 13th Chap of Cor!! Where God clearly spells out what TRUE UC LOVE IS!!!! AND WHAT BEING AN ADULT IS!! THE GREATEST CHAP OF ALL ALWAYS GETS PUSHED ASIDE!!! AND THE JUDGE NOT LES YE BE JUDGED!!! YE WHO IS WO SIN CAST THE 1ST STONE!!! OR FORGIVE OTHERS AS I FORGIVE U!!
THEY PICK OUT THESE WEIRD PASSAGES AND THEY TWIST THEM AND TURN THEM SO MUCH AND SOOO TIGHTLY TO FIT THEIR SICK SELFISH BELIEFS OF WHAT THEY HAVE DECIDED IT MEANS!
I MEAN I JUST SEE ALL THE VERSES OF THE BIBLE SOOO FN TWISTED TO FIT THE KKK CULTS PSYCHOS ETC.....I TRULY DESPISE RELIGION AND SEE IT ALL AS A RECEIPE FOR THIS RT HERE!!!
Totally disagree. Everyone has conditions for love, as it should be.
@Shitchlover551 Yeah but those conditions are like "don't kick puppies", not like "your skirt has to be exactly three and a half millimeters over your ankle". 😅
Evil people that mask their actions behind religion, are the worst kind
This was an incredibly sad interview
I hope you find your happiness - you deserve it
Evil people that mask their actions behind any principle of decency, are the worst kind. Doesn't matter whether that is patriotism, socialism, freedom, liberty, loving everybody, diversity and inclusivity, or religion. Traitors are the worst.
you got THAT right
Evil people always hide behind nice appearances.
@@SaneAsylum Well said. Exactly!
@@maxmaxwell4211 The scary truth.
I am a survivor of both physical and psychological abuse and what I know is that the body will heal, but the mind-fvcking is something which can take a lifetime to work through because the wounds run so deeply. It's so hard to learn self-love when it's been beat into your head that you're worthless. You got this, Jill. You're a beautiful person
I don't think that self-love is learned by ourselves, but it is taught by others loving us. Besides that, it is also a mind fck, i believe. Try to feel proud of yourself, as that is a good step towards caring about yourself. ❤
It's what you do or have done that defines that...
So sorry. Sounds like we we're raised the same way.... God Bless you.🙏🏽
th-cam.com/video/GfJ8zBbUN1k/w-d-xo.html
@@EchoBravo370 that's just silly
"I didn't have a framework for that type of cruelty"
Thank you so much for sharing. Sending so, so, SO much love and peace to you, Jill.
she must be a really old soul.
Sorry i didn't look in her eyes.... yes she is an old soul.
I love Jill. I want someone from the admissions board of Oxford to see this, reach out to her and extend their prior offer to her. Jill and her story were fascinating!
I was thinking the same thing. If they saw this.. the work she could do.. she could really go places. But her trauma will need to be worked on. This woman is incredible. She will make such a mark on the world!
i’m sure your TH-cam comment will help her get a scholarship to Oxford! how about you actually email or contact the institution instead of commenting something you know will get you some Internet points and not to do anything to actually help her?
@@Natharsus that’s what I’m saying lol go find a better way, cuz comments on TH-cam won’t help. BUT if you do, I suggest you record your progress, because it’ll be nice to see it come to fruition.
@@Natharsus I did email them on her behalf. What have you done Brandon? Why don't you do something to help this woman rather than just posting negative and bullying comments just to get "internet points"? Hypocrite much??
@@xdmztryvsvedine2773 Why don't you do something to help this woman rather than just posting negative and bullying comments just to get "internet points"? Hypocrite much??
I can’t believe someone can make it through all of this. I’m rooting for her.
You will make it thru someday....
Cool name
@@pfossful Goth Bosch Incarnate...Maybe i'll update it to Goth Bosch Incarnate 2.0?
yep men are constantly trying to kill us.
I was abused as a child I was terrified of going to hell. Was told women are supposed to be pure but guys can't control their urges. I had desires very very painful. It was hell. It also mixed me up and made me angry at God. Actually believed that God loves men more then women and they would get away with sins of the flesh but I would burn in hell because I was a woman. I had always intended on waiting until marriage. But I didn't and I always feared this. Felt really bad dirty. I never developed psychosis thank God but I went through all that trauma with religion roles of women. However I was fortunate enough to never have had that kind of trauma forced abortions. She is indeed strong and blessed to have survived and come through all that.
I've watched dozens of these videos. Jill's story was the most astonishing, eloquent and powerful of all. I am writing this six months after the video was posted after nearly 3,000 other comments have been made, so it might get lost, but I really do hope the message gets through that I wish her the best as she picks up the pieces and moves ahead. And, yes, Jill, I think you should write a book. So many people would benefit from hearing your story, and I am convinced you'd tell it masterfully.
This is like a textbook description of what can happen to someone after being brainwashed/gas-lit and traumatized for a lifetime...literally nothing was wrong with her it was just her brain trying to cope with such toxic and repetitively abusive environments...
That’s it in a nutshell alright
And then some go on to repeat the behavior and abuse done to them. What led her first husband at the ripe old age of 19 to be such a horrible & abusive person, or her mother to treat her own child so absolutely terribly.
Omg yes
@Dzs M religion is mind control which is mental abuse and Jesus said follow your own spirit cuz “ye are gods” & your body is the temple. That’s why when the beg for tithes money using guilt and shame saying you’re robbing god if you don’t give them 10% of all your money that’s a form of mind control. You are the temple so 10% needs to go to your own personal savings.
What does gas lit mean?
Of all the abuse I’ve endured, gaslighting has been the absolute hardest thing to “un-do”. It’s insidiously psychologically damaging. I questioned every thought I had. It’s taken me 12 years of time and therapy to finally start to free myself from that mental hell. I can’t even imagine that compounded with all the other abuse she has suffered. She’s an extremely strong woman.
I just can't re condition my mind to erase the gas lighting and shame and self hate
@@petakucas7389 ..don't give up..u can be your true self no matter how long it takes!♥️
Sounds like your the one mentally unstable picking these men. You should seek therapy about your issues. Then maybe a better man will pick you.
@@petakucas7389 It’s very difficult, but it is possible. I don’t think I’ll ever truly unravel it completely, but therapy has helped so much.
@@mtbiker4life918 wow super helpful. Thank your mom for raising you so well!
Mark is the greatest interviewer i have ever seen. He lets the person share there story without interrupting and just listens. He understands it's not about him but the one who is sharing their painful and sad story. Bravo Mark!
Did he even say anything in this interview? Not sure it's fair to say someone is a great interviewer if the format is basically just a monologue.
Omg. This poor woman. She is the epitomy of a survivor. Hold your head up and be proud
Is that sarcasm lmao
She had a total mental and physical breakdown due to trauma. This interview made my blood boil with the religious trauma turned physical turned mental. I come from a very religious family and they traumatized me mentally for longer than I care to admit. So this hit home hard for me. I'm so glad she is back on her feet and hopefully really working through things. What a brave woman. It's so hard when things happen that really aren't your fault, bit you carry the guilt of all the wrong done to you. I truly hope she wins in her next round of life.
it usually is....1 bad ...1 good...1 bad...1 good... But i will refuse my life review... no matter how good my next life is.
I sincerely hope those ER nurses who commented and laughed when Jill was admitted to hospital see this interview. I also think it would (with Jill’s permission of course), be an interview that could be used for education in the health sector as well as in family services/domestic violence organisations.
definitely a good idea
I agree so much!!!
Some medical professionals in hospital settings don’t know how to treat patients or they just lost the ability to be compassionate. I’ve brought family members to the hospital or stayed with them while they were there (in the ER, ICU, and regular rooms), and I feel a minor sense of medical trauma from how they were treated and how I was treated. I filed two complaints and received positive responses to those, but I doubt anything changed. It’s so sad to think about how people are being treated when they are scared and need help.
It could be also that they have never experience anything like this and naively handled the situation wrongly.
See Prof Sam Vaknin "virtue signalling/ communal npd" they do it for kudos with no comensurate effort. Have only cold empathy. Ditto Religious...
She's quite the warrior. I appreciate her ability to tell her story so well, I hung onto each word! It's hugely relatable for me. Much love to you both!
I agree!👍👏👏👏❤️
She sure is! Reminds me so much of Latonia - th-cam.com/video/bnA0yOjKpdw/w-d-xo.html
Me too!
Who is both??? Significant other?
@@carioca56 Her & Mark (the guy behind the camera who's interviewing her)
She told her story SO incredibly well. Seriously one of the best story-tellers that I personally have seen on this channel. I was so engaged the entire time. She obviously has such a strong spirit - being able to tell her story with such awareness at this time after everything she’s been through. A beautiful piece of art encapsulating an even more beautiful person with a fascinating story. Thank you
How well she talked and told her story, I would never thought she had mental problems
I agree , it was painful, haunting and completely free of.. ..artifice ?.. no...
I can't think of the word but many traumatised people have recounted their misfortunes more than a couple of times. The awful lack of continuity of social workers and support workers means repeated tellings are the norm for many seeking help . Their stories can, whilst being so painful sound ...practiced?...not the right word either ....
I worked in a project with 22 residents in 2000s , some had social workers , I was there four years , I never saw the same sw twice .
I think for some weaving a cohesive narrative honed from repeated tellings is a way of having agency over the lives they had where they had none or very little
She should write a book, I'm not kidding.
I can't begin to explain how helpful this episode was. My mother suffered from a similar psychosis after trauma and sadly didn't make it but hearing such an incredible description of how it feels to experience psychosis like this from someone who pushed through, really helped me feel more grounded in my memories of that time. Thank you Jill. You are incredible.
❤
This unpacked so much more than I was expecting, as usual. If this woman wrote a book, I’d read it. I think it could also be healing for her and help her process everything that’s happened
This is what I was thinking. I think she has been through so much and I look up to her for finally finding her own way in the world. I hope she continues to share her story!
Then I suggest you read Tara Westover' s Education.
She seems so likable maybe it's a Midwestern thing lol
Write the book! Help her write the book
Hello Jill. I'm am 17 year old Albanian girl in Greece, hearing your life experiences and the way you've have been treated made me feel Very vulnerable and I truly don't know how you are still standing there and talking about this. Your soo strong Jill, I wish I could talk to you and learn from you . From this 56 minute interview I have grown big respect and love for you . And as for Christianity since I was 7 years old I was brainwashed with wrong beliefs about sex , homosexuality, abortion ect and even though I want to have a good relationship with God , I don't know if I can believe in a god that supports those kind of beliefs . Most importantly though all I want for you is the best in the world for you and your kids. I hope god or whoever rules this universe will always be by your side. Virtual hugs and kisses 🤗
I hope you find a way to love. That is love for yourself first of all.
You will find your way. Trust your intuition.
Hi Klea, I know it’s kinda hard to understand when you’ve been conditioned to believe Christianity and certain beliefs others push upon us when we’re young and impressionable. I can assure you you’re relationship with GOD or whichever higher power you believe in is personal and no one else’s business. Whether you decide to have sex, abortions, smoke, gay, and etc that is you and GOD’s business and no one else’s. You are his child above all and you’re going to go through these things because it’s life in the end you will align with your path. He will always love you! A lot of people try to dictate GOD’s words and teachings that they have no right to. GOD will be with you in each step, loving, and guiding you. I can promise you that because I am living proof. I wish you all of the best my love 🥺💕
Read the Bible and do not depend on religion/religionist ... God is life and the truth.
There are thousands and thousands of people who have died and seen heaven and Jesus. Muslims, toddlers, kids, atheists, addicts, murderers, Buddhists, people who never knew God before and never trusted in Him and they all have the same theme in there NDE, most of them had no inclination to even think about seeing heaven. That can't all be making it up. People from every corner of this earth have had this happen and live to tell about it. I am reading a book right now about tons and tons of different stories of people dying and seeing heaven, he'll and Jesus, so many of them never even believed in it. Heaven is very very real and so is Jesus. About 3 years ago when I was at my worst and lowest place. I was so empty and so confused and was going through a faith crisis and severe depression and addiction. Many times I held a gun in my hand contemplating suicide. I cried out to the creator of the universe to reveal himself to me and to show me the truth. God showed up and I instantly felt a peace I cannot explain. I felt a joy that no drink, no drug, no human has ever given me. I wasn't led to Buddha, Allah, Krishna, I wasn't led to some inner divinity inside of me, I was led to the one and only truth, Jesus. I began to get these instant downloads in my spirit, it was incredible. Suddenly I just knew and my eyes were open to why this that way and why this is wrong and this is right. In that time I finally understood that Jesus is not a religion. All Religions says do but Jesus says done. I began to study religions and how they are a distraction from the truth, they are all flawed and an endless ladder to climb of trying to be good enough.Nothing in this world has given me the internal peace and joy that Jesus has given to me. I cant explain it, I could not muster up this kind of peace myself, believe me I've tried. This kind of peace is not circumstantial, its not of this world and it cannot be replaced. Jesus is not a religion, hes not a theological concept, hes not an angry boss, hes not an energy, hes not a consciousness, hes not a respecter of persons, hes not a genie, hes not a tyrant and lastly hes not one of many ways, He is the only way. Jesus is a personal loving Father who created you, loves you and knows everything about you. Everything Jesus said would happen in the last days is literally coming to pass right before our eyes, biblical end times prophecy is being fufilled so fast I cannot even keep up with it. All other religions have so much error and failed prophecy but the Bible is the only one that has not one failed prophecy and is happening perfectly and accurately right in front of us. Most people don't even see it. I encourage you to look into this and you'll see to the convergence, the intensity and the frequency of biblical prophecy that has dramatically accelerated in the last 5 years. I open up the book of Daniel or the book of revelation in thThere are thousands and thousands of people who have died and seen heaven and Jesus. Muslims, toddlers, kids, atheists, addicts, murderers, Buddhists, people who never knew God before and never trusted in Him and they all have the same theme in there NDE, most of them had no inclination to even think about seeing heaven. That can't all be making it up. People from every corner of this earth have had this happen and live to tell about it. I am reading a book right now about tons and tons of different stories of people dying and seeing heaven, he'll and Jesus, so many of them never even believed in it. Heaven is very very real and so is Jesus. About 3 years ago when I was at my worst and lowest place. I was so empty and so confused and was going through a faith crisis and severe depression and addiction. Many times I held a gun in my hand contemplating suicide. I cried out to the creator of the universe to reveal himself to me and to show me the truth. God showed up and I instantly felt a peace I cannot explain. I felt a joy that no drink, no drug, no human has ever given me. I wasn't led to Buddha, Allah, Krishna, I wasn't led to some inner divinity inside of me, I was led to the one and only truth, Jesus. I began to get these instant downloads in my spirit, it was incredible. Suddenly I just knew and my eyes were open to why this that way and why this is wrong and this is right. In that time I finally understood that Jesus is not a religion. All Religions says do but Jesus says done. I began to study religions and how they are a distraction from the truth, they are all flawed and an endless ladder to climb of trying to be good enough.Nothing in this world has given me the internal peace and joy that Jesus has given to me. I cant explain it, I could not muster up this kind of peace myself, believe me I've tried. This kind of peace is not circumstantial, its not of this world and it cannot be replaced. Jesus is not a religion, hes not a theological concept, hes not an angry boss, hes not an energy, hes not a consciousness, hes not a respecter of persons, hes not a genie, hes not a tyrant and lastly hes not one of many ways, He is the only way. Jesus is a personal loving Father who created you, loves you and knows everything about you. Everything Jesus said would happen in the last days is literally coming to pass right before our eyes, biblical end times prophecy is being fufilled so fast I cannot even keep up with it. All other religions have so much error and failed prophecy but the Bible is the only one that has not one failed prophecy and is happening perfectly and accurately right in front of us. Most people don't even see it. I encourage you to look into this and you'll see to the convergence, the intensity and the frequency of biblical prophecy that has dramatically accelerated in the last 5 years. I open up the book of Daniel or the book of revelation in the Bible and I feel like I am reading all the recent news headlines. Jesus is real and is the only way. Heres a really crazy fact...the chances of a one man fulfilling 8 prophecies is 1 in 100,000,000,000,000,000 and Jesus did that and not only that but He fufilled over 300 of them!! Only Jesus did that and only Jesus died for your sins and shed His blood for you. Jesus is the only way to heaven!! Please ask Jesus to show you, He will reveal the truth to you. Love you. I really mean that!Bible and I feel like I am reading all the recent news headlines. Jesus is real and is the only way. Heres a really crazy fact...the chances of a one man fulfilling 8 prophecies is 1 in 100,000,000,000,000,000 and Jesus did that and not only that but He fufilled over 300 of them!! Only Jesus did that and only Jesus died for your sins and shed His blood for you. Jesus is the only way to heaven!! Please ask Jesus to show you, He will reveal the truth to you. Love you. I really mean that!
It has become my morning routine to listen to these people's life stories. Jill is an amazingly strong woman and I hope she finds happiness and fulfillment every day for the rest of her life!
Religious Trauma Syndrome is a type of Complex PTSD. It very often is in tandem with every type of trauma. Most religious trauma survivors experience physical, sexual, emotional, psychological trauma, on top of the spiritual trauma.
Having spiritual trauma on top of all the other types of trauma is a type of devastation that people who have never gone through it can't understand. It destroys you on every level.
And often times psychopaths are drawn to those environments because they have the utmost control over their victims.
She is so articulate and empathetic. Thank you for sharing your story. You're not alone in these experiences, and you sharing your story gives voice to so many.
I hope you find an amazing trauma therapist and can reprogram your brain from all the brainwashing and trauma. Because you deserve good. You deserve love. You matter. You are such a beautiful soul.
Yes excatly
No evidence of a soul whatsoever superstitious nonsense
@@matimus100 😂😂 i guess you are a robot then
@@matimus100 okay bud lol.
spiritual trauma...like seeing ghost then...
The way her mom responded about her not being submissive enough- heartbreaking.
Religion and politics have no right tearing families apart. Family comes first.
No family doesn't come first. A person's mental health does.
@Nikki She’s saying that. Her mother should’ve put her daughter first, before her religion or politics.
evil and false and deceptive teachings have infiltrated most churches and turned them into hellish places.
the real gospel and jesus are simplistically kind and uncomplicated,
These control freaks that she encountered are the opposite of Jesus real teachings.
I am so sorry she had to go through all that.
It is videos like this that will scare atheists away from Jesus.
Jesus himself warned, when asked what the end times shall be like......... to not be deceived. Many will preach a false jesus. Terrible.
Luk 21:8
And he said, Take heed that ye be not deceived: for many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ;
and the time draweth near: go ye not therefore after them.
@@crossing3790 People make up their own version of Christianity and people follow them instead of reading about Christ for themselves. Then people think Christianity is whatever a false profit proclaims it is.
@@NeiveVeve very true. One of the first verses I learned was.
2Ti 2:15
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
As someone who has also experienced religious trauma this interview meant a lot
Dido
Mark, you've certainly found your calling. Jill, you're an incredibly strong person. I wish nothing but greatness for you
Fuck religion it's a scourge on the world
@@chadshepherd4691 indeed
I have listened to hundreds of Marks videos. This is one of my favorites. Those people that saved her on the freeway; Saw a fellow human being needing HELP and they fought with her for her life. Incredible Story and you are inspiration Jill!
Amen.
Angels came to help her in the form of a mother and daughter.
@@kariconant3488 Angels? After all the trauma she received from religious nuts, you think an angel saved her? Where were the angels at the start of her abuse? Pfffft
We need a part 2 when she wants because she looks like she's doing soooo much better and she's inspiring. She went through so much. ♥️
i agree!! i really want to see a part two as a follow up or any life updates. i wish there would be some type of way to support these individuals. i hope she’s okay
Agreed!
I can’t even begin to imagine how many people watching this have been/are going through similar experiences. My heart goes out to all of you ❤️
As horrible it is to know that others have gone through this and more, it does help me in knowing that I’m not alone and that my thoughts and feelings are validated by others who think & feel the same. I get really upset when people who have no idea of the trauma I’ve been through tell me I need therapy. It’s so fuc*ed up to me to even think of the thousands & thousands of dollars I spent on therapy just to be able to cope.
Organised religion is rubbish. My father is obsessed with it and I keep confronting him about it and he jus gets worse in his madness his ruined the whole family and now he wants everyone to be like him and his garbage church. It's important to have a relationship with God not a human like a priest professing lies before you in the name of the lord. The millennial generation and gen z we are definitely knocking down these colonial walls.... Even podcasting or streaming a spiritual talk with friends or strangers is doing Ng more good than these tithing institutions
I love this channel, it humanizes people that are marginalized and pushed to the wayside, I wish more people would watch these, the world needs more empathy.
I agree! I think this is one of my favorite channels because of the light that it sheds. My only disappointment when I watch is sometimes that I don’t know the outcome for someone later and the mom in me is a worrier late at night… And also disappointment sometimes that we don’t get to hear very many positive endings or outcomes as a consequence of his positioning Close to skid row or going into communities where he is specifically seeking trauma survivors. It’s nice to hear stories where people get to talk at their own pace and in their own way. But I sometimes walk away with a very negative impression overall of the state of events in the world. I wonder sometimes if he positioned himself on rodeo drive if the stories would look just as pathetic or sad at times. Or in average suburbia. The extremity of the stories we hear on this channel it was heartbreaking.
This story shook me to my core. What an absolute powerhouse of a human being. I will always keep her story in my mind when I need to recognize my own strength as a woman and as a person. Much love
"The main thing I've learned is that real love doesn't have conditions on it. Real love doesn't require adherence to rules & that was something I had to de-program from my whole life..."
So true.
Thanks so much for sharing your journey.
Wishing you the very best!
She sounds like such a beautiful, truly beautiful genuine soul. And so articulate and well spoken. So sad to see someone so beautiful and thoughtful have to deal with so much pain and suffering. Jill if you see this I hope you have peace and love in your life. You are so so strong hon. Thank you so much for sharing your story
Could we please have a follow up with her, that was such a sad compelling story my heart broke. Thank you for giving her a voice.
I can only imagine the amount of strength it has taken for Jill to survive all this and get this far. What an incredible woman. I'm so glad there are good people in her life now. I hope things will continue to get better for her.
Omg rarely do i ever sit and listen to someone's interview with full attention, but I couldn't stop listening. Nearly an hour and to tell you the truth I could have listened alot more. What a story! Wow! I'm so glad you survived all this so we could hear your story. Thank you for sharing, I know it couldn't have been easy to tell. I wish I personally was there to tell you these things and that your life does matter to lots of us. I hope you find complete happiness and peace to make up for all the trama you had to endure.
Fascinating how she is able to tell her story so well. She takes you on her journey, very well spoken.
She is acting. I don’T believe a word she says.
um yes, um indeed.
Why?
I was so mesmerized with her story. What a brave patient woman. Sounds like she was married to a malignant narcissist with sadistic tendencies. Her story could really be a movie. She so smart so I think she should write a book about it all. Which actress should play her part?
Rebecca Ferguson
Julianne Moore
Yes that would be amazing if it was made into a film
Julianne Moore
Julia Roberts 😍🤞
As a young man of 22, I just listen to women who have such stories like her, and my heart just hurts. I don’t want my own future daughter to go through any mental anguish like this. Understanding the balance between not coddling too much and not being too over bearing either is a delicate thing. I could only pray that I don’t see my own child go through something that they think of as tyrannical, and no such spiral of a troubled life takes place. Even though Jill doesn’t know me, and will never see me. I would just like to say, you’re very strong for even talking about this. I pray for you, I pray for you.
I believe Chris Rock has a great quote about his female friends and their bad relationships with their dads. He says you show boys you love them, you tell girls you do.
Do the Right Thing.
Good to hear this understanding and amazing perspective from a male. Good for you!!!! Your future wife and children are lucky,.
@@aliehawhite8616 I have to understand things like this if I seriously want to raise kind compassionate, and genuine people, which will outlast my existence. So I’m educating myself as much as I can while I’m young honestly. I’m consciously aware of my power in a child’s life. I just want peace for them, and no trauma cycles like this!
There is an old Jewish saying . When you are the father of boys , you worry . When you are the father of girls you do more than that . You pray. You have to be the ultimate loving father . You have to be the example of the man she may need later in her life .
I hope so much that Jill is living life with fulfillment and joy. She so deserves it.
This is what you call a strong person. Super strong. This is the other side of the coin. A person who, despite all of their hardships and abuse, they persevere and succeed in life. I’m so impressed. What an amazing woman.
She is really beautiful. You would never think looking at her if you passed in the street that she had been through all that trauma. Wish her all the best for the future..
That’s why you never judge a book by its cover.
This is why we must always be kind to everyone. We never know what anyone is going through or has endured.
It’s amazing how alone she was when she lost her mind. Check on your friends and family who don’t reach out. Maybe it’s not you, maybe they need someone.
It is not about religion. It is about having true relationship with God. Jesus Himself abhorred the hypocrisy of religious leaders such as the Scribes and Pharisees
Here are links to videos of well-educated atheists who became believers after experiencing God in the Spirit realm during their NDE. One atheist neurosurgeon, one atheist orthopedic surgeon and one atheist college professor
th-cam.com/video/4GsoQRqnwV4/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/h8W7cD820f0/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/kLimoqZUWgw/w-d-xo.html
so true,yes!🤍
People will automatically abandon you when you need them the most. Like she said, "black is white & white is black". What's right is deemed wrong & vice versa. That is the work of the devil himself to feast on the targeted one's misery.
@@aegoaway or targeted one’s intended ministry. Thank you.
She’s the best example of heart and gut driven warrior! Thank you Jill for sharing your story, you are a beautiful human being and you deserve all the love in this planet
Absolutely.
Àwe.. Jill . One life plus another half a life... my Mom read my journal too when i was young. 50 years later and i never violated anyone's privacy... not one time. It has an impact on a person especially when it's your Mom. You're beautiful, darlin'. *hugs;)*
Or even ones siblings!
Here here.
I never invade privacy either for the same reason!
my sister, 2 yrs younger, found my diary when I was 14 , read it and attempted to translate to my mom...then made fun of by both. ..betrayal and invasion of privacy
Same. Not a journal persay but a book of poems that substitute for a journal. And both of my parents tore apart my room and found it where I kept it, under my bed. Not only that they did not encourage my creativity instead shot me down. The betrayal has never left and i have never been able to express myself through writing in the same way
This really touched me in a way no other interview has. I had tears streaming at the end. When she said the nurses talk like you're not there, and laugh when you're a psych patient- it reminded me of when I was in that bed at the ER in her position. When she spoke about wandering the streets, and people pretending you're not there- I felt that. And then when she spoke on how giving somebody basic human kindness, and love can change somebody's life; I went to hug my fiance immediately after this interview- because he's the only one that has. Thank you, Jill for touching my life today- and sharing your story.
Thank you Mark for allowing Jill to talk. I would imagine getting to do this totally uninterrupted has most likely been the best form of therapy.
This felt like a hour therapy session. I don't know who it helped more. The person giving their life story or us listeners.
This hits way too close to home for me. I’m so sorry you went through all of that!
The worst thing for me, in a way, was Jill's mother's betrayal of her, choosing her sick natured, quasi religious second husband over her own daughters' needs (we didn't hear anything about how Jill's sister fared?)
Also her father, who belatedly "unconditionally loved her", essentially abandoned her throughout her teenage years, choosing his "bachelor lifestyle" over his 2 daughters' needs.
Had he been there for Jill during those teenage years, she might have been able to take up her Oxford scholarship, not meet her penpal & things might have ended very differently!
Just goes to show that even people who enjoyed what Jill described as an "idyllic childhood" can have their lives derailed by the selfishness of the adults around them! 😢😢
Good luck with getting your life back on an even keel, Jill, and regaining your mental good health 🙏🙏.
As much as it's easy to blame the other people involved the main abuser was that religious man and he really should be held accountable for all of it. The mom has a responsibility too but she was also a victim of his abuse and manipulation
@@MellowJellyThe mother was an adult though, she should have known better and put her kids first, instead she became indoctrinated by that hypocrite
@@MellowJelly The mother literally chose her abuser from an Ad in the Paper. I realize her husband abandoning her created a Trauma response, that’s the only way I can wrap my head around mom choosing this diabolical abuse. It’s sad.
Jill's dad was there for the first part of the life , the part she enjoyed.
I think her successful recovery draws heavily from this period where she was getting unconditional love and making healthy connections in her brain.
It's so sad when a family fractures and those bonds break not because of the children but the adults who separate use a blunt tool for extraction that cuts and bruises the whole family
@@MellowJelly i disagree wholeheartedly. not that the man abusing her mother doesn't have responsibility for his own actions, but her mother is responsible for herself as well. she was a woman with children who decided to run after a man who advertised in the paper to live out some fantasy of being a tradwife and forced that on her daughter in spite of the fact that she hated it and begged her to leave. she deserves to be blamed for that, it's inexcusable.
Please if anyone is reading this and is living a similar life style please reach out, there is caring people who can help you. If you know in your heart someone is mis treating you there are other options. The outside world doesn’t know what hell your living in until we share with them. You deserve a better life💗💗
I hope this extremely intelligent woman is receiving the physiological services to free her mind of the horrific experiences she survived. I would love follow ups, as I have so many questions and hope she frees herself from the past and lives her future independently💗
I had a similar experience. The damage stemming from psycho religious cults is truly criminal.
Amen. Spiritually, it is criminal.
Sadly it is the people of the religious groups that have perverted the situation. They are not godly people imo
its a huge criminal enterprise making billions of dollars
@@janedoe3648 No all religion is criminal, brainwashing garbage.. especially for females.. Awomen
She speaks so eloquently. I hope she knows her story will touch so many hearts. She is the epitome of strength. May She heal little by little.
I am in floods of tears after watching this. Jill, you are an incredible person who deserves so much joy and happiness. I’d love to know you in real life, you are clearly a gem. I’m so so so sorry this horrendous stuff happened to you. Life is just awful sometimes.
"Living a wild and degenerate life while imposing strict rules on his followers" - she describes so many hyper-religious people so so well.
Hypocrites plain and simple
I was absolutely in awe watching Jill tell her story. The beauty, intelligence and calm aura mixed together was an uncommon trifecta. Jill, you’re such an inspiration!
Just wonderful how she allowed herself to become so open, honest and vulnerable about her psychosis. This video can help, not only those who struggle with psychosis, but family, friends, and mental health professionals who don't quite understand what they are dealing with. Big respect to you, Jill. And as always, thank you for what you are bringing us here, Mark... _/|\_
I can't believe you got a letter from Oxford, that is so amazing! And they reached out to you, you didn't have to apply! I'm so sorry that your mom didn't realize what a huge accomplishment this was but I'M PROUD OF YOU! Like someone else said, I would love to see Oxford reach out to you to make the offer again. You deserve it and you deserve to be happy.
That story is almost certainly a fabrication inspired by a Saved By the Bell episode that make people suddenly think that that's a normal practice. By her own account, she scored around the 90-95% percentile on the ACT. She didn't release her scores. Oxford has way more applicants who meet what they're looking for than they could ever hope to sort through. This charade reminds me of lumpen/working class people thinking that "pre-law" or "pre-med" are real degrees. There's no such thing. You can major in anything that you want. It's just recommended that people take classes that are helpful. So for med school, you're going to need all of the lower division math classes, an A required in organic chemistry, and physics up to quantum (one level past general). You can otherwise get into med school with a philosophy degree if you kill the MCAT. The issue here is that most aspiring doctors don't choose that route since they've already taken so many science and math classes that it's an easy transition to biochemistry. Law only requires the LSAT, though most at my college took meta-logic, which deals with second order questions, since it's helpful for that test. When I was at the community college, where my transcript would blow any high school student in that area out of water, no school offered me anything, yet I'd hear that "Duke offered Amber a free ride," who was this trailer park girl out in the boonies. I had a class with her. She was a serial liar. Had I never applied anywhere, I would have simply been forgotten about. I applied, then got into UCLA, 1 of 18 from North Carolina to transfer there for that class. Some of my contemporaries went to ivy league doctorate programs. They didn't get offers from Princeton. They had to apply. Oxford isn't going to look for candidates with strong ACT scores out of small boonie Christian schools. My husband also went to UCLA from a similar school and didn't get offers like that. Ben Carson didn't get an offer from West Point either. I feel bad for her, but I don't get why people lie like that except out of vanity or because they've been gaslit into thinking that they're dumb and so want to prove a point.
We know the stories are good when Mark barely asks any questions during
And when the interviewees are more open and good speakers
Not stories man these are people lives
or they are tweaking and cant stop talking
@@thecrownoffusion8420 it's the story of their lives
@@eridiance9818 realism
What a lovely, intelligent, well-spoken woman. Thank you for sharing your vulnerable story with the world.
This was one of the most beautiful and well-spoken stories on this channel. She was able to tell her story in such a meaningful and captivating way. The interview didn’t even have to interject with any questions. This interview would read like a well-written book. I think Jill would be a wonderful author.
The fact that you are here today, telling your story, is a true indication of your incredible strength. So many young women will find themself under the fists of horrible men like your first husband. Hope this interview can be the HUGE sign they need to get out before things get much worse. Never believe an abuser when they say that they will change for you, they must change for themselves because the problem lies deep within them.
Monsters hide behind religion every day
My mom gave me the same advice - don't think he's going to change after you marry him. If he has a bad habit, like alcohol, have him stop before going any farther in the rel.
Jill, thank you so much for telling your story.
Many lessons to learn from your life experiences.
Especially for parents.Religion should be a personal choice for every individual and never ever forced upon anyone , even children.
Thanks Mark.
Amen.
Absolutely agree religion should never be indoctrinated into young minds
i think its one thing to practice your religion with your children. using your religion as a bludgeon to abuse your children is its own thing.
So relatable in many ways, trauma from abuse has lifelong effects. You’re a warrior Jill.
Misogynistic trauma. Jill is a survivor of misogynistic trauma. That Jill has maintained her voice and her sanity is absolutley incredible! Thank you!!
Jill makes poor mate choices.
@@rev.jimjonesandthekool-aid4488 Ahh a predictable privileged moron (probably male you are) who has never been a victim of any kind of abuse, blaming a victim. You're such a stereotype
@@rev.jimjonesandthekool-aid4488 Imagine being such a bitter person with such a shitty life, the only way you can seek relief from your negative feelings is to attempt to hurt other people.
Couldn't be me. I went to therapy. Works wonders for self-hatred. Because honestly, show me how you insult people and I'll show you what you're *most insecure about*.
Her biggest "blessing "/ blessing was that her parents got a divorce
@@MellowJelly actually you are also a feminist stereotype and don't even notice. Funny how blind spots work.
I love the comment, “people need to talk with people who are psychotic like they’re there”. When ER nurses, treated her like she wasn’t there, and laughed…love and support and basic kindness helped. Real love doesn’t have conditions on it, real love doesn’t adhere to the rules.
I totally get her body breaking down. When you are in such high stress for so long and then get relief, your body just says stop. I know I didn't explain that correctly, so I hope someone understands what I mean. This lady is strong. I am so glad she got out of that relationship. Everyone needs a friend like hers. She couldn't do it herself, so he just did it for her. Had he not, who know how long she would have continued. I had a friend go through something similar. She literally collapsed when he was convicted and sentenced. If I remember correctly she slept for about 2 weeks. Just didn't have the energy to get out of bed. We (friends and I) took care of her and made sure her kids got to school, fed, bathed etc.
I wanna know how many women get in these horrible situation?!
@@SuperSlimshady1 the number would make your stomach turn
@@lacey892 oh I know it would sadly I know it would
As a survivor of abuse, I appreciate this ladies articulation of her story. She's a true warrior. All the best to this intelligent woman.
It is absolutely the most heart-wrenching feeling to not even be backed up or feel safe with your own parents. I feel for her.
Yet another reason to be emotionally open and kind. No one chooses to have a mental breakdown... I'm so glad she appears to be healthy and working through her trauma and the hard life it fostered. ❤️ Hang in there. Everyday is a new day ..a chance to do and feel differently then the days before
Never been this early. I'm addicted to the perspective these videos give me.
The definition of "humanizing".
This story is so relatable to anyone who grew up in childhood trauma and abuse, religious or not. I just want to hug her.
Thank you for giving Jill the space and time to tell her story - no interruptions, no questions, just being with her and listening. You seriously couldn't have done more.
Such a powerful story to remind us how parenting shapes children’s lives. I think most of us now understand how childhood abuse can more often than not lead to a lifetime struggle with addiction but in this story I was reminded of how vital it is for a child to learn what a healthy relationship actually looks.
This is exactly what im going through and have been going through for the past 5 or 6 years. The mom, the dad, the pastor. Im still struggling everyday, and the hyper independence I have, just like her, is definitely a trauma response from all the gaslighting, brainwashing & betrayal.
Watching this made me feel like im not alone.
Thanks Jill, and i hope youre thriving!
GET OUT NOW.
Yes, get out, do you have a trusted person not in the religion to help you?
I too have been through psychosis in 2021. It was scary and a silent battle. One of the hardest things I've ever been through. I've been through much trauma and abuse and lost my dad while I was going through my pyschosis which breaks my heart. Your a strong women and your story inspired me. ❤️
WOW JILL!!!!!!! What a life you have had....and so much more life to live. You are a true SURVIVOR!!!!!!! Much love to you
At the end when Jill said all the things she suffered through she then did to herself made sense. Survivors often believe there’s something inherently wrong with them and turn on themselves. It acts like a curse, affecting you long after your trauma. God bless Jill and all the survivors.
That was one of the most compelling interviews of SWU that I’ve seen. Jill is so intelligent and thoughtful that she’s able to describe trauma-induced psychosis - her own - in an almost clinical manner. She strikes me as a warm and decent soul. I wish her well.
I have chills because some of her experiences are a MIRROR of my own life. My biological father runs a cult in Tucson Arizona called Christ connection Chaplaincy. He left our family and abused us because she was not “open enough” and pursued his cult with a younger wife.
My father delegated how we should behave and interact. It was very confusing for me. Women were submissive, skirt wearing tools for men who said thank you as they served men. Sexuality is a big proponent of this cult. My father has sexually abused multiple women and been accused of rape multiple times. He actually has his followers infiltrate marriages and rescue members (make partners cheat).
He continues to practice his religion now.
I also live in Tucson. I’m disgusted to hear that. Sending healing for you and your family 🫶🫶
Most' born again' bible believers don't realize how brainwashed they are, especially when raised in it.
Wow! That horrible. Sorry you have to be subjected to his madness. Stay safe and well 🙂
God is not religion. Is knowledge through bible studying with holy spirit revelation and a personal relationship in Jesus Christ.
Just looked it up. Creepy.
This interview is profoundly moving. Jill, you were betrayed by so many, those who were most supposed to support you, but who seemed above all, to try to take power and control over every aspect of your life - physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual. I would guess that psychosis was an effort, in part, at least to have some sense of control over it, but how tragic you punished yourself so horribly. I can imagine - and this is personal experience speaking, too - that trust (in others and in your own judgment, which was only the result of what you knew) will likely take a long time to rebuild. I can see why it was so devastating when your dad, the only adult around you who had not abused you, suddenly passed away. 😢 I truly expected, given your articulate, intelligent, sensitive delivery, for this to end with your telling us you were writing a book. That could be therapeutic and help others, too, as your story here no doubt did. Kudos for your courage. I hope you find healing, strength, love ... and, yes, life-giving faith, in whatever form (even secular) you need to be fully you again. Please be kind to yourself.
In my own trauma therapy, I've benefited from, yes, journaling, but also from EMDR (eye movement and desensitization reprocessing), which the VA uses to treat war veterans for PTSD or C-PTSD. I wonder if you could benefit? Something to ask your therapist.
And thank you, Mark. I've seen maybe 40 or 50 videos, but this here is my first comment. Moving portrait of a life. And I noticed, too, you gave Jill air to talk and express herself, which she expressed she's rarely had. She is powerful on her own.
That's truck load of trauma! No wonder Jill had a breakdown when her one true person of unconditional love passed away. She carried that avalanche of pain until there was space to set it down. I wish her courage in her healing journey. I'm working on my own as well.
She is an amazing human being but her father's absence was the catalyst for all of the negativity going forward. Fathers, no matter how bad things get with your child's mother, never leave the physical proximity of your children. That just opens the doors for step-daddies, predatory boyfriends, etc.
And s😥x trafficked
Yeah but this guy straight up abandoned them for the entirety of their teenage years, like damn, he couldn't have done a checkup every few months...? That alone would've likely concerned him enough to get his kids out of that damn house. This guy was selfish though, and enjoyed being away from the responsibility of family
Maybe single moms should stay single until their kids are grown.
Doing exactly this and trust me when I say I've had it as bad or worse than the lady being interviewed by my daughters mom. People keep talking about mysogeny but there is the opposite of it being strongly encouraged and lived out by multiple generations of women raised by single moms... Sometimes the result isn't a poor helpless woman it's an extremely abusive and controlling woman. Although the root cause is the same... Sometimes though you need to leave for safety.. I left her for a couple years (thinking it would be forever. And rightly so) but the effect the divorce (well the lack of a family) was hard on my daughter. But at the same time even though the divorce depressed her, it helped ultimately because for one I got my freedom that was stolen (freedom isn't given only taken away) and seeing that the monolith of MOM was in fact wrong in many ways and people like that ONLY respond to consequences. Nothing short of consequences can change them and even so, guess what. Now that I've decided to live with her so we could have a family again, she's slipping back to her old ways a little bit although way less intense than it used to be.... But I still think now is better than it's ever been for our daughter. Even though compared to a "healthy" family we look like shit. But hey it's the beginning of breaking the cycle for our daughter .. may she not begin the 5th known generation of matriarchal abuse in this bloodline
@@jacobjohnson2714 Would you hold yourself to the same standard? I doubt it.
As much as I love hearing Mark's voice, I enjoyed listening to Jill's story she's a good talker and storyteller.
What an amazing woman. She has so much insight and depth. So very sorry for her trauma. Thank you for sharing her story.
The way she tells her story is like it was yesterday. She remembers EVERYTHING. In so much detail. I hope that sharing this helped her. I hope anyone watching this, who is in a similar situation will see that you CAN get OUT. I hope the dads seeing this will recognize how important you are to your daughters, to protect them; and to your sons, to show them how to respect and care for every woman you come in contact with. Mark, I’m a huge fan… I love you even more for just letting her tell her story and not interrupting or asking any questions. I think it was liberating for her. Would love an update on her if she wants to share more in the future. I hope she sees all these comments of support for her. ❤️❤️❤️
As someone who is dealing with religious trauma…this was very healing and triggering to watch. I struggle with OCD(paranoia/delusions) too. Lots of love and healing to you Jill…btw love all your jewelry and healing crystals💜
I developed OCD from the JW's doctrine.
@@mushuchicken8256Wishing you peace and healing too❤️
hey, non of my biz but look into
the rewind technique by the human
givens
Best!
Abusive adults can really put kids on a path of so much pain and suffering as they grow up. I hope she’s thriving. It’s seriously incredible what she’s survived.
Hoping the best for her. Thank you for allowing her to share her story. People are so dismissive of the psychological effects of the abuse that is religious in nature.
I’ve listened to many of your episodes. This one left a profound effect. I really feel for her. Sometimes your own family can do the most damage. I hope she can shed the guilt she feels. None of us are perfect people. I hope she can find peace.
There are so many religious trauma victims in our country!
So moved and affected by Jill’s story and I hope she has found the love and the healing in her life now 🙏🇬🇧
One of the most important stories that needs to be shared, people usually question everything, except the religion imposed on them.
For me, it was God who helped me heal after years of abuse and a psychotic break. I would have remained broken without His help. ✝️🙏
Religion is the 1 thing that absolutely needs questioning
Due to the literal fact that religion, specifically Christianity was created to enslave people... it makes me question religion completely.
@@Reijiiee Where are you getting that from?
Slavery existed long before Christianity, in MANY cultures unfortunately. The Hebrews were enslaved by the Egyptians, and not fans of slavery. And Jesus' apostles taught, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3:28) At a time when slavery was common and women were basically property, that was an incredibly progressive and revolutionary message.
Certainly, people have used quotes from the Bible to justify doing evil, in some cases even to support slavery, but these were usually taken out of context and twisted, with those perpetrating the evil blatantly ignoring scripture that opposed and denounced their actions.
I'd also point out that many abolitionists specifically denounced slavery BECAUSE of the Christian concept that humans are all equal and deserving of love and respect. The concepts of equality and justice enshrined in the US constitution are rooted strongly in Christian concepts, and if they had truly been carried out to a Biblical standard, the US would never have had slavery.
Stop cherry picking the bible , the bible endorsed slavery and that’s a fact , you are also aloud to beat your slave as long as you don’t kill your slave and if you want to deny It I could cherry pick a heap more of the immoral weird crap that your book of lies endorses , like rape and murder .
The control structures of organized religion (Guilt and Shame) and the irrational fear of eternal damnation is a nearly impossible to break free from. Keep the vibration high sister! You're not crazy, society is. It's not easy to become real.
Spot on, especially when indoctrination starts at a young age. Children believe what they're told and indoctrination runs deep. It's a terrible way to live.
I thankfully broke free from Christianity and life is so much better. Everything makes sense now.
@@opinionsarentfacts3515 It's really not fair to claim that the things in the bible are "fact", as there is absolutely no objective evidence for and gods, including the god of the bible. As your user name suggests, opinions aren't facts.
I was a believer for nearly 50 years and took part in several different sects of Christianity, all of which foundations are guilt and shame.
The bible says much more than to love one another. It also says to kill people that don't follow certain laws. Personally, I just cannot support, let alone worship, a being who is believed to have set up such a flawed world where such horrible things happen.
I love people just as much as I did when I was a believer. Nothing in my personality changed. I just no longer have the questions I used to have that didn't make sense. Now everything makes sense.
So you believe we shouldn't feel guilt and shame when we lie, covet, steal, and kill? What is your standard as a good person? And what are you defining that standard by?
@@NeiveVeve
I don’t think that’s what she meant. But when humans think they are in the position to be judge, jury and executioner they are standing on dangerous ground. Humans have no right to treat others as irredeemable. Humans do not have that kind of insight. They have no idea what kinds of atrocities others have had to bear. My mother thought lies were sport, stood in the same room while my stepfather showed me the grossest pornography imaginable from the time I was 6 and killed every dog I ever had. I can tell you that had a marked effect on my developing brain and made walking your chalkmark quite difficult. Walk a mile in my shoes.
@@opinionsarentfacts3515 please reread your username on here because you're presenting your religion as a fact! You unwittingly don't realize that you're part of the problem.
Between this interview and Clover's interview, this is one of the most hard-hitting videos I've ever seen. I appreciate so much these people and their experiences and their willingness to share that with the world. It has made a very positive influence on this 1 person. Thank you. I thank you very much.
This was so heartbreaking.. I too have experienced religious trauma and and I know how it just sets you up for additional trauma down the road. I also had a nervous breakdown, mine happened in college. I've never been so scared. I could literally feel my sanity slipping away. It is terrifying when you feel like you are losing your mind. If I didn't get the mental health treatment I received I don't know where I would be now. Now I'm a therapist and I help people like me. Thank you for your story, Jill. It really moved me. And my God that had to take such balls to work 3 jobs to leave that marriage. That had to be scary entering the workforce again and entering the unknown. A lot of courage.
Same on the "feeling your sanity slip away" ... it is the saddest and craziest thing in the world. I still find myself trying to hold on to my sanity 3 years later, every day is an adventure and challenge
Ok so I don't usually listen or watch anything if it mentions religion. But wow I am so glad I am walking home listening to this. What a warrior she is!! To go through what she has and she is an amazing human being. Xx
So intense. Oh my heart. I hope she is in a better place in life and has managed to heal from this.
Wow. This was both mesmerizing and heartbreaking, Jill, if you're reading this, I wish you all the best and am so sorry for everything you've gone through. Take care. You're a wonderful person.
She is a sick idiotic egoist, such people should be sterilized.
@@marcelinoperez2926 wtff is your problem??
@@jaydariley5768 "Religious Trauma is my problem, she is my trauma now
@@marcelinoperez2926 who tf r u😳u really oughta hop off the d pal- go find something else to do wit ur time. gotta love wen a tru pos hops in😏