When Your Partner Owns Too Much
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ก.ย. 2024
- Joshua and Ryan discuss how to best address a partner's tendency to hoard. Listen to the full episode on Patreon: / theminimalists
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Oh my! That last sentence! “As soon as we judge we lose the ability to love.” So true. I’ve never really thought about why being judged feels so crummy. You hit the nail on the head. Being judged for even the slightest thing let’s you abruptly realize that someone doesn’t like/love you exactly as you are. Like with 99% of life, communication is the answer. I’m going to write this down and read it everyday this week. I want to thoughtfully be less judgmental to the ones I love. I don’t want the people dearest to my heart to ever get the idea that I don’t love them just exactly as they are. Thank you.
My partner is actually a hoarder. And I'm not saying that because it seems like it but because his original house actually had trails to get through and there are items you couldn't see because of the piles. But over time I have talked to him about his feelings on keeping certain items and the thoughts that go through his head on keeping trash and he is getting much better at finding homes for items. We have learned to say no when people want to give him things as he has a reputation for taking items that should be discarded, such as old laptop computers which is one of his weak points. We moved into a house together and I started with having areas that he could not encroach into, and that has helped. It is going to be a lifetime struggle, I'm not going to lie. If we decide which vehicle to ride in mine or his it's usually mine because there is somewhere for him to sit whereas his vehicle he has unload the passenger seat. As you can imagine most of the anxiety comes from my side because of the stuff, and I express that to him to help him understand where I'm coming from. Your topic is an important one.
My moms husband just passed and the EMTs when they took him out of the house said they are contacting code enforcement to report her house as unsafe & unlivable. On top of that she is disabled and has trouble getting around. I’m trying to find her an apartment closer to me as I am her only family now but I’ve already told her I’m getting four large boxes from Home Depot, put everything you deem important & essential in there and we will have to get a professional boarding cleaning service to clean out the rest. I know hoarding is mental OCD related but I’m not a psychologist. My question for people in this tribe is what would you do?
Am I approaching this correctly? I don’t want to be mean to my mom of course but I’m not dealing with all her hoarded stuff…
My husband was a hoarder ( really ! ) and it was very very very difficult for ten years but now he loves our minimalist home 💪💖💖
Love wins 💪
How did you get him to get rid of all the stuff?
@@justadudeintheworldman.120 it takes me lot of time, love and patience ( sorry my English is bad ) to declutter our home
I'm the one who has "more enough" and my wife has "less enough". Ironically, my enough is kept neater than her enough. I have been listening to you guys for several weeks and started decreasing my enough.
My husband and are pike this - he has way more stuff than I do. I'm not sure how to explain it: we have different cleaning patterns (and definitions of clean). He thinks it's clean/tidy if his stuff is piled together, but I don't think it is until everything is put away neatly. The result is I see his "tidy" pile and feel like the house is a mess, so no point in putting my stuff away if his is out. So I have stuff out often, even though I have little of it. He thinks his suff is always picked up, but I just see piles of stuff by his work bag or shoved in his side of the bookshelf, etc. It may help to talk to your wife about your definitions of tidy. You may find a better middle ground where you don't feel like the status quo is so disparate.
Oops, phone typos!
Great convo, great insights. Im the more than enough one 😂thanks!
Yesterday I've reached a point where I've hit "enough stuff" in my home. But as part of a family, I know that "enough" will be ever changing. But personally, I did hit a point of tranquility and I'm hoping to keep this jive for a bit.
I started renting a studio due to covid lockdown as my partner and I were driving each other nuts. It is pretty minimalist, my partner is a hoarder. He is not allowed a say in how I style my studio and quite often I escape there to enjoy the tranquility.
Oh boy. So very much needed. Thank you! 💖
TARA thank you. I have always had plants. My husband of 49 years has always had telescopes. We accept those things. Tina
I do not like excess things, I like cleaning in a snap and having what I do not need ties me down to additional home chores.
Being a maximumalist is comforting because I know no matter how much I hoard, there is always more I can get.
Being a Maximumalist It's never a question in my mind if I've gone "too far".......this brings me much peace. Namaste'
Great listening
I like your videos.
Wow so beautiful thanks you sir
It is not proper to force any view on others... when they see how much better owning less is, they'll change
Thank you for this piece of advice!
You both seemed tired in this video, I hope you're okay?
Loved this ❤️