This is the bad part of golden child. Parents spend so much time excusing and enabling that they up miserable as adults. She didn’t just bail on your life events. My sister is like this. She flaked on her best friends wedding and she was MOH. One week notice. Her friend replaced her and my sister didn’t even go to the wedding. I went to the wedding! That’s how close we were. My parents went. My sister bailed on my baby shower that she was hosting. (Still can’t believe this one). She said she would help me host my wedding reception which I did myself to save money. My sisters bestie (same one) ended up coming over to help me because my sister went out drinking the night prior and was hung over. So many times. We don’t talk now.
That is so common these days. Couples get married, have kids, and then dump their kids on their parents to raise while they go to work. They assume and act like their parents have a duty to raise their grandkids since they are "free".
The only time my mom and step dad watched our daughter was when I was in the hospital having twins. My MiL has never watched our kids. Not everyone does this. We paid a lot for nanny care when they were little and continued paying for preschool and after school care. I worked part time for 15 years for child care. It hit my pension hard. I went back to FT when they could drive but it was a big hit. So when my MiL wanted us to support her financially, after turning down a place with an accessory dwelling unit that was offered to her for the cost of being home when the kids got off the bus and for two hours being around until I got off work - we said no. It goes both ways. You don’t get to assume your adult children will support you while you have fun when you never worked. My pension would be 50% higher if she had been willing to do that. She didn’t want to live where there was no gambling. She had free housing utilities and food offered for 10 hours of very light work a week.
You act like this is some new thing This generation has come up with while it was this way for a long time. This is part of the reason for multi-generational homes. Maybe it's not a thing for your generation or culture but it's certainly not anything new.
@@HubiKoshi it’s not new but grandparents expect to be supported financially and physically now without contributing. If grandma gets free room and board and all expenses paid and she’s physically able then she needs to pull her weight. The disconnect is that they expect us to send them money but don’t want to help
@@BusArch42 Ah I see. It just struck me as a weird statement because that's basically how I grew up. My grandparents were farmers while my parents worked jobs so I spent a lot of time under the care of my grandparents during my early childhood. We all lived in the same house.
@@HubiKoshi exactly. Your grandparents contributed to the house by watching the kids. In return their financial and physical needs were met. They were not just parasites on the family. This communal living works very well when everyone is pulling their weight. It falls apart when some parts of the family leave and just expect to be handed money. This was my MiL. She contributed nothing to us but expected us to support her. The generations prior to boomers and some boomers were great about contributing to the household. As they aged the kids had grown and the rest of the family took care of them in their years of need. My boomer MiL has an entitled attitude that she is owed being cared for without doing anything. She did not care for my husband growing up - his dad did. His dad left when he was 16 and by age 18 my husband was going to school and caring for his mom and baby half sister financially and physically. Yes she had a baby at age 40 with no father in the picture. These same people are the ones crying that their children have deserted them in their old age. Nope. You bailed long ago and don’t deserve care and support. She lives with my SiL and watched their kids but as soon as she cannot help out they are planning to dump her in a nursing home. My SiL feels she robbed her of a father her entire life and was a terrible mother (she’s not wrong) and she owes her nothing
Story 2: HOW are folks like this serious??
One night stand wants nothing to do with the child. Curious how she's so certain this person is the father.
Story 1, the sister is a 304. Move on
This is the bad part of golden child. Parents spend so much time excusing and enabling that they up miserable as adults. She didn’t just bail on your life events. My sister is like this. She flaked on her best friends wedding and she was MOH. One week notice. Her friend replaced her and my sister didn’t even go to the wedding. I went to the wedding! That’s how close we were. My parents went. My sister bailed on my baby shower that she was hosting. (Still can’t believe this one). She said she would help me host my wedding reception which I did myself to save money. My sisters bestie (same one) ended up coming over to help me because my sister went out drinking the night prior and was hung over. So many times. We don’t talk now.
That is so common these days. Couples get married, have kids, and then dump their kids on their parents to raise while they go to work. They assume and act like their parents have a duty to raise their grandkids since they are "free".
The only time my mom and step dad watched our daughter was when I was in the hospital having twins. My MiL has never watched our kids. Not everyone does this. We paid a lot for nanny care when they were little and continued paying for preschool and after school care. I worked part time for 15 years for child care. It hit my pension hard. I went back to FT when they could drive but it was a big hit. So when my MiL wanted us to support her financially, after turning down a place with an accessory dwelling unit that was offered to her for the cost of being home when the kids got off the bus and for two hours being around until I got off work - we said no. It goes both ways. You don’t get to assume your adult children will support you while you have fun when you never worked. My pension would be 50% higher if she had been willing to do that. She didn’t want to live where there was no gambling. She had free housing utilities and food offered for 10 hours of very light work a week.
You act like this is some new thing This generation has come up with while it was this way for a long time. This is part of the reason for multi-generational homes. Maybe it's not a thing for your generation or culture but it's certainly not anything new.
@@HubiKoshi it’s not new but grandparents expect to be supported financially and physically now without contributing. If grandma gets free room and board and all expenses paid and she’s physically able then she needs to pull her weight. The disconnect is that they expect us to send them money but don’t want to help
@@BusArch42 Ah I see. It just struck me as a weird statement because that's basically how I grew up. My grandparents were farmers while my parents worked jobs so I spent a lot of time under the care of my grandparents during my early childhood. We all lived in the same house.
@@HubiKoshi exactly. Your grandparents contributed to the house by watching the kids. In return their financial and physical needs were met. They were not just parasites on the family. This communal living works very well when everyone is pulling their weight. It falls apart when some parts of the family leave and just expect to be handed money. This was my MiL. She contributed nothing to us but expected us to support her. The generations prior to boomers and some boomers were great about contributing to the household. As they aged the kids had grown and the rest of the family took care of them in their years of need. My boomer MiL has an entitled attitude that she is owed being cared for without doing anything. She did not care for my husband growing up - his dad did. His dad left when he was 16 and by age 18 my husband was going to school and caring for his mom and baby half sister financially and physically. Yes she had a baby at age 40 with no father in the picture. These same people are the ones crying that their children have deserted them in their old age. Nope. You bailed long ago and don’t deserve care and support. She lives with my SiL and watched their kids but as soon as she cannot help out they are planning to dump her in a nursing home. My SiL feels she robbed her of a father her entire life and was a terrible mother (she’s not wrong) and she owes her nothing
Sister is a pain. Let her sit on a tall stool to cook food for her own children. Isn't she well enough to go home now so she can cook what she wants.