I think being Ijeoma in all your seasons was the identity I subscribed to. So I’m open to your evolution even if it means stepping away from your online platforms. Peace over everything Dr Ijeoma Kola. You are my silent guide. Your vulnerability is helping others be open about their emotions about the juggle. Sometimes you can drop a ball or two and your world will not fall apart💗
My husband is in the military and gone for work a lot. I have done A LOT of solo parenting over the past 5 years of my daughters life. It didn’t bear down on me until I began working on my Master’s 2 years ago. We are 3 hours away from our family and don’t have regular family support. We do have a preschool she’s been going to for a long time. Everything you’ve said has put my situation into so much perspective. What I have accomplished (working, getting my masters, caring for my child, solo parenting 50% of the time). Has been nothing short of a MIRACLE.
You have nothing to prove, I was married while single parenting 3 children because he wouldn’t lift a finger and I’m currently separated still single parenting and a postdoc. Let me tell you, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone but I also don’t encourage anyone to stay in any abusive relationship because of children.
PODCAST!!!! Please even if it’s a 10min chat. this felt like secondhand therapy from the ladies in the comment section. Thank you all for sharing your stories. Much love 💗 We see you, we are proud of you!
Your honesty is always refreshing! And that's the one thing I really love about you. I've always been impressed with how well you are able to juggle things. And you do challenge me to do/be more. This video is just a reminder that even as I try to take on more to know when it's time to ask for help. Or time to drop something to make time for what is important.
Thank you for sharing. I struggle a lot in the comparison department when it comes to work, side aspirations, and motherhood. I go online and I always feel like I should be doing more. I do have other goals outside of my family and motherhood but right now, I have to put them on hold. My husband and I have no support team or family close by. I work nights at the hospital part-time and my husband works full time during the day. I solo parent a large portion of the time because my husband is working. Don't get me wrong my husband is amazing and a wonderful dad but, I'm primarily responsible for our daughter who has autism. We also don't qualify for some of the therapies she needs so I bought books on speech and occupational therapy to fill in the gaps. I work with her a lot and take care of all the administrative work that comes with having a special needs child along with the cooking and cleaning. So after spending a 12-14 hour day working with my special needs toddler and taking her to appointments, the last thing I want to do is crack open my laptop to work on my side hustle. At that point I'm exhausted! Then I still have to balance going my 12 hour overnight shifts at the hospital. I wish we could hire some help but, it's not in the budget right now. Even selfcare sometimes feels like another task but, I know I have to do it because if I break it all breaks. I definitely appreciate your honesty and transparency on this topic ❤
Hey Ijeoma, It's great that you share about all the things you juggle as a source of inspiration but, sometimes I feel like this can feed into the opposite spectrum by making other women feel like they may not be doing enough. I've followed you for a while but the more the "I can do it all" narrative is pushed, the more I feel like it feeds into the toxic busy culture that society has created. I truly admire what you've built and your resilience, but it's easy to get lost in the social media space to feel like you have to keep proving you can do it all...when it's human not to. What draws me to your brand is the stories about your journey, sharing black-owned brands, and style/home inspo. Just here to give perspective on what it seems like of late, but you're definitely a top-tier content creator with great intent and we love seeing the growth! xx
Thanks so much for sharing this! I agree that I’m feeding into that toxic always busy lifestyle and I’m actively trying to break away from that. My personal goal is to be happy that I have multiple areas of my life that bring me joy and fulfillment, without feeling like I have to be busy and stressed all the time. And I’d love to be able to better share that message with others
Hi Ijeoma, I've been following your journey since 2019. I think yes, you are the person that seemingly juggles alot of projects and does them all well. Atleast that's how I perceive you. I think it's so healthy to lay some things down for a season. In general, life happens in seasons. We don't have to be omnipresent all the time. I appreciate your perspective on this. Thanks for sharing. This is so real for so many of us. I'm not a parent or anything, I'm a 21 year old student but I can relate 😭❤
I think when it comes to solo childcare, you have not given yourself enough time to adjust. 3 weeks is a very short time to draw certain conclusions. I believe if you had about 6 weeks to 3 months, you would settle into it (whatever ‘it’ looks like for you). It may not be comfortable even then but I think we expect ourselves to instantly get a hang of things and when they don’t work out immediately we start drawing conclusions that it may not work ever. You went from having so much help to having very little help. I do agree that something else has to give.
Please prioritize yourself! Your desires! And keeping up with a reflection of yourself is almost as bad as comparing yourself to others. If it ain’t you, it ain’t you. Take care, sis!
Hi, I am a little late watching the video but I truly 💗 the honesty and the vulnerability that you have or deal with. This is the reason why I started watching you so many years ago. I was like she's smart, educated, smart,purpose driven,cute,natural sis and truthful. You are a woman of 12 different 👒 but I am so impressed. I have said before whatever you set your mind to do you do it well. You're always achieving, knocking down barriers and door and always being a creator. No and can't is not in your blood. I know that being a solo parent for a person like is probably hard because you are a winner in everything that you do.
To be honest I do believe it's possible to juggle all things for a period of time. I actually enjoy your contents basically because you do seem to harmonize playing the different roles. Its also so much great that you sharing the challenges and how you navigating them... You got this 👏🏾
Ijeoma, I have been following you for years and see you as a multifaceted and multi-passionate woman. I do sense perfectionist vibes. It’s not a bad thing to pursue excellence in everything you do. That’s why you’re successful. But I am SO glad you realized that you needed to lay some things down in this season. To go with the juggling reference, even jugglers have a limit. Some juggle 2 items and that’s still juggling. Some juggle more than that and it’s still called juggling. The same goes for moving through life. We all go through cycles and it’s impossible to always be ON without our wellness suffering. I’m looking forward to this season for you.
How awesome it is that you have help! So many women don't have support and are doing it on their own. It's no shame in asking for help especially if they are offering it to you. I can understand wanting to prove to yourself that you got it but you don't have to. Take that stress off yourself! You got this! Stay strong and know asking for help takes nothing away from you! You are a awesome person and mom! 💐🦋🌹
Regarding the perception of your brand, for me it is exactly what you described: intelligent black woman who wears several hats, and wears them well, but beyond that, I see you as a real person. I love how matter-of-fact and occasionally blunt you are about certain topics, especially when presenting your standpoint (the video where you discussed the decision to not show your son’s face on the internet comes to mind - I honestly enjoyed that video). To me it doesn’t even matter how many hats you wear - just keep being you. You are the brand.
I had more peace once I realized the only constant is change. Once everything is as you want, kids move to new stages and phases. Also Kenya has built in help like you said. In America, you’re without those extra hands. Don’t feel bad. Do what’s best for you and your family and allow for how things change.
I've been following you for many years. I can't believe I didn't know you had a blog:) I can say that you seem very genuine. I am glad that you are realizing it is okay to give less in some areas than others. Thanks for allowing us to be a part of your journey!
Thank you for being open to this conversation. I know as a mother, PhD candidate and author I feel like the juggling game is so constant and precarious. I personally really struggle with guilt when I am not the primary caregiver of my daughter, even for the 3 hours a day when the nanny is here. I'm just really grateful to see the different ways moms approach their multiple identities.
This was really great! Thank you for sharing and being honest and vulnerable with us. I truly appreciate that about you. Whatever decision you take, know that you have many people cheering you on! ❤️
Definitely take up those offers of help 🥰. Your brand: fashion, food, fitness, travel, & chit chat. You shared your fertility struggles and your labour but said you wouldn’t be sharing baby stuff and you haven’t. Love seeing hubby but he’s not into it 😁 so it’s mostly for me, enjoying insights into the life of a black woman that’s thriving. Love to see it 💕
I am a mom to a 4yr old and my husband is disabled and I work fulltime. It has not been easy at all. My son's behavior definitely changed due to the lack of attention I gave him. I do feel I can handle all these things at one time but parenting started to suffer. However, I believe kids are resilient and my son was able to adapt while I worked. That being said, your son will survive being in Indiana and wherever else you take him to.
My mum travelled alot when I was young and I was raised by great nannies and family all around and when she was back from her travels it's like she never left. Your son will be fine whichever decision you make concerning his environment
Thank you so much for sharing. I totally get what you mean about keeping up with that online persona. You are totally allowed to let other things take the back seats for a while…different seasons require different focusses.
Hi Ijeoma I think you are a person who pursues multiple passions or interests, and you are a modern and balanced woman! By balanced I mean you take an interest in and nurture all areas of your life, even if you feel ‘off-balance’ in some situations. Your identity and content is inspiring and definitely feels authentic and relatable to me, that’s why I’m here 💕 Would you say that the move, new job and decorating your new home then single parenting all at once is a lot at the moment. There are a lot of new and major responsibilities right now in your life.
I loved this video❤. You are an inspiration to me that I can pursue my 'traditional' career as a Lawyer and still do content creation (so that is how I view you) and I relate on the need to always keep up with the digital identity I have created.
Such needful content as usual... For the most, mom's feel the need to be present. Maybe it's inbuilt 🤔 Either way, self care remains essential. Also it's important to note that some seasons of life can be hectic but it sure does get better. I'm glad you do have a support system to rely on when you decide to take time out. Awesome conversation. Really appreciate it.
Hi Dr. Kola! Regarding the keeping up of online personas, I hope that we can all feel comfortable enough to embrace change as it feels comfortable to us, not just to provide “consistency” to other people (who don’t even know us know us) lol. I think this comes up a lot for natural hair vloggers who initially decide to grow their hair, and when they decide to cut it or do something potentially damaging to it (like color) the audience gets all rowdy. Lol like the audience does not own the influencer! Do what you want & f%ck “consistency” or whatever promise or persona you feel like you made to others! I hope this made sense lol. Here for whatever content you put out. ❤️
Woow, that was worth a siddownnn and exhale moment. Thank you for sharing these reflections with us, Ijeoma. I would suspect that being in the public eye, via social media, you were trying to fully express all aspects of your persona - I doubt anyone has the wheel of life fully pumped up and balanced. If this will help: I ask myself a question - must it be done? Or, must it be done by me? That always helps to put things in perspective to not overwhelm myself with a Superwoman mentality. Grace, strength and more balancing. 🌺🌺
We should learn in life to delegate and delegate at the end of the day its balance and have enough time to actually do nothing but yet leave a best life .. we all deserve that resting time and doing just nothing ...
I think I am missing you. I have been here checking in for new uploads.
Unfortunately there will be no more uploads at least for the near future😢
@@IjeomaKolaYT How sad! But I hope you are well and I honestly understand.
I love that you mentioned you had SUPPORT,like the saying goes, it takes a village. 😍😍
Yes it does!
I think being Ijeoma in all your seasons was the identity I subscribed to. So I’m open to your evolution even if it means stepping away from your online platforms. Peace over everything Dr Ijeoma Kola. You are my silent guide. Your vulnerability is helping others be open about their emotions about the juggle. Sometimes you can drop a ball or two and your world will not fall apart💗
My husband is in the military and gone for work a lot. I have done A LOT of solo parenting over the past 5 years of my daughters life. It didn’t bear down on me until I began working on my Master’s 2 years ago. We are 3 hours away from our family and don’t have regular family support. We do have a preschool she’s been going to for a long time. Everything you’ve said has put my situation into so much perspective. What I have accomplished (working, getting my masters, caring for my child, solo parenting 50% of the time). Has been nothing short of a MIRACLE.
I feel you sis. And you got this!👏🏾
You have nothing to prove, I was married while single parenting 3 children because he wouldn’t lift a finger and I’m currently separated still single parenting and a postdoc. Let me tell you, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone but I also don’t encourage anyone to stay in any abusive relationship because of children.
Thanks so much for sharing!
PODCAST!!!! Please even if it’s a 10min chat. this felt like secondhand therapy from the ladies in the comment section. Thank you all for sharing your stories. Much love 💗 We see you, we are proud of you!
Im not married or a mommy yet but Im enjoying watching your experience and growth!
Thanks so much for watching
Your honesty is always refreshing! And that's the one thing I really love about you. I've always been impressed with how well you are able to juggle things. And you do challenge me to do/be more.
This video is just a reminder that even as I try to take on more to know when it's time to ask for help. Or time to drop something to make time for what is important.
I'm so glad it resonated with you!
Thank you for sharing. I struggle a lot in the comparison department when it comes to work, side aspirations, and motherhood. I go online and I always feel like I should be doing more. I do have other goals outside of my family and motherhood but right now, I have to put them on hold. My husband and I have no support team or family close by. I work nights at the hospital part-time and my husband works full time during the day. I solo parent a large portion of the time because my husband is working. Don't get me wrong my husband is amazing and a wonderful dad but, I'm primarily responsible for our daughter who has autism. We also don't qualify for some of the therapies she needs so I bought books on speech and occupational therapy to fill in the gaps. I work with her a lot and take care of all the administrative work that comes with having a special needs child along with the cooking and cleaning. So after spending a 12-14 hour day working with my special needs toddler and taking her to appointments, the last thing I want to do is crack open my laptop to work on my side hustle. At that point I'm exhausted! Then I still have to balance going my 12 hour overnight shifts at the hospital. I wish we could hire some help but, it's not in the budget right now. Even selfcare sometimes feels like another task but, I know I have to do it because if I break it all breaks. I definitely appreciate your honesty and transparency on this topic ❤
Hey Ijeoma, It's great that you share about all the things you juggle as a source of inspiration but, sometimes I feel like this can feed into the opposite spectrum by making other women feel like they may not be doing enough. I've followed you for a while but the more the "I can do it all" narrative is pushed, the more I feel like it feeds into the toxic busy culture that society has created. I truly admire what you've built and your resilience, but it's easy to get lost in the social media space to feel like you have to keep proving you can do it all...when it's human not to. What draws me to your brand is the stories about your journey, sharing black-owned brands, and style/home inspo. Just here to give perspective on what it seems like of late, but you're definitely a top-tier content creator with great intent and we love seeing the growth! xx
Thanks so much for sharing this! I agree that I’m feeding into that toxic always busy lifestyle and I’m actively trying to break away from that. My personal goal is to be happy that I have multiple areas of my life that bring me joy and fulfillment, without feeling like I have to be busy and stressed all the time. And I’d love to be able to better share that message with others
Hi Ijeoma, I've been following your journey since 2019. I think yes, you are the person that seemingly juggles alot of projects and does them all well. Atleast that's how I perceive you. I think it's so healthy to lay some things down for a season. In general, life happens in seasons. We don't have to be omnipresent all the time. I appreciate your perspective on this. Thanks for sharing. This is so real for so many of us. I'm not a parent or anything, I'm a 21 year old student but I can relate 😭❤
Thank you so much for watching and sharing!
I think when it comes to solo childcare, you have not given yourself enough time to adjust. 3 weeks is a very short time to draw certain conclusions. I believe if you had about 6 weeks to 3 months, you would settle into it (whatever ‘it’ looks like for you). It may not be comfortable even then but I think we expect ourselves to instantly get a hang of things and when they don’t work out immediately we start drawing conclusions that it may not work ever. You went from having so much help to having very little help. I do agree that something else has to give.
Please prioritize yourself! Your desires! And keeping up with a reflection of yourself is almost as bad as comparing yourself to others. If it ain’t you, it ain’t you. Take care, sis!
Thank you
Hi, I am a little late watching the video but I truly 💗 the honesty and the vulnerability that you have or deal with. This is the reason why I started watching you so many years ago. I was like she's smart, educated, smart,purpose driven,cute,natural sis and truthful. You are a woman of 12 different 👒 but I am so impressed. I have said before whatever you set your mind to do you do it well. You're always achieving, knocking down barriers and door and always being a creator. No and can't is not in your blood. I know that being a solo parent for a person like is probably hard because you are a winner in everything that you do.
Beautiful sis 🙌🏾👸🏾. Found your channel from the credit karma commercial 😆
To be honest I do believe it's possible to juggle all things for a period of time. I actually enjoy your contents basically because you do seem to harmonize playing the different roles. Its also so much great that you sharing the challenges and how you navigating them...
You got this 👏🏾
Thank you so much!
Ijeoma, I have been following you for years and see you as a multifaceted and multi-passionate woman. I do sense perfectionist vibes. It’s not a bad thing to pursue excellence in everything you do. That’s why you’re successful. But I am SO glad you realized that you needed to lay some things down in this season. To go with the juggling reference, even jugglers have a limit. Some juggle 2 items and that’s still juggling. Some juggle more than that and it’s still called juggling. The same goes for moving through life. We all go through cycles and it’s impossible to always be ON without our wellness suffering. I’m looking forward to this season for you.
Thank you so much for the encouragement!
How awesome it is that you have help! So many women don't have support and are doing it on their own. It's no shame in asking for help especially if they are offering it to you. I can understand wanting to prove to yourself that you got it but you don't have to. Take that stress off yourself! You got this! Stay strong and know asking for help takes nothing away from you! You are a awesome person and mom! 💐🦋🌹
Thank you so much Deidre!
Regarding the perception of your brand, for me it is exactly what you described: intelligent black woman who wears several hats, and wears them well, but beyond that, I see you as a real person. I love how matter-of-fact and occasionally blunt you are about certain topics, especially when presenting your standpoint (the video where you discussed the decision to not show your son’s face on the internet comes to mind - I honestly enjoyed that video). To me it doesn’t even matter how many hats you wear - just keep being you. You are the brand.
You're far too kind! Thank you!
I had more peace once I realized the only constant is change. Once everything is as you want, kids move to new stages and phases. Also Kenya has built in help like you said. In America, you’re without those extra hands. Don’t feel bad. Do what’s best for you and your family and allow for how things change.
You're absolutely right!
I've been following you for many years. I can't believe I didn't know you had a blog:) I can say that you seem very genuine. I am glad that you are realizing it is okay to give less in some areas than others. Thanks for allowing us to be a part of your journey!
I'm so glad that you know now😊
Thank you for being open to this conversation. I know as a mother, PhD candidate and author I feel like the juggling game is so constant and precarious. I personally really struggle with guilt when I am not the primary caregiver of my daughter, even for the 3 hours a day when the nanny is here. I'm just really grateful to see the different ways moms approach their multiple identities.
I'm with you on the juggling game. Mom guilt is so real😩. Thank you for sharing!
I see you as a confident black woman! You bring your full self to everything you do, regardless of what it is
Thanks so much for he kind words!
This was really great! Thank you for sharing and being honest and vulnerable with us. I truly appreciate that about you. Whatever decision you take, know that you have many people cheering you on! ❤️
Thank you so much!
A nanny share is something to consider to make sure your son interacts with other kids but limits exposure to too many germs at once.
I will look into that. Thanks
Its not weird people who wake up early , Yes its totally important to represent yourself online truthfully with your actual real life .
Definitely take up those offers of help 🥰.
Your brand: fashion, food, fitness, travel, & chit chat. You shared your fertility struggles and your labour but said you wouldn’t be sharing baby stuff and you haven’t. Love seeing hubby but he’s not into it 😁 so it’s mostly for me, enjoying insights into the life of a black woman that’s thriving. Love to see it 💕
Thanks Mary!
I am a mom to a 4yr old and my husband is disabled and I work fulltime. It has not been easy at all. My son's behavior definitely changed due to the lack of attention I gave him. I do feel I can handle all these things at one time but parenting started to suffer. However, I believe kids are resilient and my son was able to adapt while I worked. That being said, your son will survive being in Indiana and wherever else you take him to.
Thank you so much for sharing! And I hope you find a great balance as well!
My mum travelled alot when I was young and I was raised by great nannies and family all around and when she was back from her travels it's like she never left. Your son will be fine whichever decision you make concerning his environment
Thanks for the kind words!
This was such a great conversation Ijeoma, I'm really loving your conversations of late. I relate a lot with what you are sharing.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you so much for sharing. I totally get what you mean about keeping up with that online persona. You are totally allowed to let other things take the back seats for a while…different seasons require different focusses.
Absolutely!!
Hi Ijeoma
I think you are a person who pursues multiple passions or interests, and you are a modern and balanced woman! By balanced I mean you take an interest in and nurture all areas of your life, even if you feel ‘off-balance’ in some situations.
Your identity and content is inspiring and definitely feels authentic and relatable to me, that’s why I’m here 💕
Would you say that the move, new job and decorating your new home then single parenting all at once is a lot at the moment. There are a lot of new and major responsibilities right now in your life.
Thank you so much! And I agree that everything happening at the moment is quite a lot to handle. But something's gotta give😩
Thank you so much for your honesty Dr. Kola.
My pleasure and thank you for watching!
I loved this video❤. You are an inspiration to me that I can pursue my 'traditional' career as a Lawyer and still do content creation (so that is how I view you) and I relate on the need to always keep up with the digital identity I have created.
Go for it! You got this.
Such needful content as usual... For the most, mom's feel the need to be present. Maybe it's inbuilt 🤔
Either way, self care remains essential. Also it's important to note that some seasons of life can be hectic but it sure does get better.
I'm glad you do have a support system to rely on when you decide to take time out.
Awesome conversation. Really appreciate it.
Self care is def essential. And thanks for watching
🤔 Single motherhood is a very specific term
Good point. I’ve changed the title to reflect that
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this
Any time!
Hi Dr. Kola! Regarding the keeping up of online personas, I hope that we can all feel comfortable enough to embrace change as it feels comfortable to us, not just to provide “consistency” to other people (who don’t even know us know us) lol. I think this comes up a lot for natural hair vloggers who initially decide to grow their hair, and when they decide to cut it or do something potentially damaging to it (like color) the audience gets all rowdy. Lol like the audience does not own the influencer! Do what you want & f%ck “consistency” or whatever promise or persona you feel like you made to others! I hope this made sense lol. Here for whatever content you put out. ❤️
This right here!! 👏🏾 Thanks so much!
Very important lessons, thank you for your vulnerability!
Thank you for watching Simone!
Woow, that was worth a siddownnn and exhale moment. Thank you for sharing these reflections with us, Ijeoma. I would suspect that being in the public eye, via social media, you were trying to fully express all aspects of your persona - I doubt anyone has the wheel of life fully pumped up and balanced. If this will help: I ask myself a question - must it be done? Or, must it be done by me? That always helps to put things in perspective to not overwhelm myself with a Superwoman mentality. Grace, strength and more balancing. 🌺🌺
That is such a great tip! Thank you so much!
Oh girl, you scared me! 😅😅😅
Don't be scared 😊
I feel you on so many levels lol well done momma!
So glad you can relate! Thank you for watching
I see you as a person who works really hard .
Thanks!
I really appreciate u sharing ur experiences 🙂
Thanks for watching!
I just stay away from that parenting thing seems like too much.
Going through the same thing.
I am so glad you relate!
Let’s do a collab! Love your person :)
We should learn in life to delegate and delegate at the end of the day its balance and have enough time to actually do nothing but yet leave a best life .. we all deserve that resting time and doing just nothing ...
I completely agree with you!
For me, your brand has not been about you doing all the things. It has been about the evolution of a woman.
😊😊
this was perfectly said!
Every once in a while you gotta just siddown! Ain’t no shame in that.
Absolutely!
Those lips are so gorgeous and luscious
Super privileged. Stop Complaining.