I noticed that I do at least one thing - I share my knowledge with people I trust. When I see that someone is not interested or does not appreciate my effort to help them, I just stop sharing. I don't like wasting time.
I’m about to open up an Etsy shop of my own and I was starting to get into the spiral of researching but never taking action, as well as getting overwhelmed and overstimulated with ideas. However I am coaching myself through the process and trying to give myself baby steps so I actually take action and don’t get stressed out.
As a five, my emotions aren’t channeled out toward anything or anyone except into chasing deeper understanding of the world and myself. Channeling emotions outward towards people only makes them channel their energy toward you which we try to avoid. Five feel misunderstood because they are by non fives.
Well stated. I put my emotions under a microscope and study them, almost as a separate part of myself. My therapist has mentioned this is known as compartmentalization and apparently isn’t healthy. I also tend to reserve my emotions until I can express them when I am alone and no one is watching.
growing up the only emotions I knew was just good or bad but as I got older and have conversations about feelings with others, all kinds of emotions gotten more clear to me now. Most of the times Fives are unsure of how they're actually feeling so it is nice to have someone break it all down. Thank you SO much for this video it made my problems a lot more obvious
Great episode H! I'm a solid 5. I relate to every word. From fear of energy depletion to observing instead of participating; getting stuck in research (so enlivening!) instead of expressing and sharing (fear of not relating to others). And... on my bookshelf is "The Emotion Thesaurus" yikes. Thank You! I'll be diving into the healthy 8. You rock!
I feel like there’s not as much stuff about growth for enneagram types, compared to content about identifying traits, strengths and weaknesses etc. I really liked that bit about participating more because observing from afar leads to you missing out. Thanks for the video!
I’m pretty certain that I’m a 5w4. I feel my emotions and I can sometimes be reactive. I’ve been in therapy for 1.5 years and I’m still learning how to allow myself to process them. Writing helps.
Most of the time for me I know pretty well what I am feeling. But I have learned since childhood that you never ever share what you feel. This is an ongoing struggle for me. I am making a lot of progress though. But, I still have a long way to go.
Yes, I agree. I am a 5, too and I have many emotions inside. I can quite easily name them. My brother told me they are visible on my face and I cannot hide them. I think I am a sensitive and empathic person, but I do not like talking about my feelings, because I do not trust people, and I do not feel accepted.
As a 5 I’ve noticed I tend to feel anger only in “productive” ways (mostly). Like that fire in my belly that makes me get off my ass and do something about whatever’s bothering me. So yeah, it feels good (in a dopaminey way) riding the wave of assertion that comes with it. It’s nice to know I can access it and use it responsibly since I’ve been very reserved for most of my life.
I saw this on my subscription feed and I thought “FINALLY!!!!!” * watching now * 1. Going for it rather than learning forever-yes I’ve been doing that and it does help 2. Your energy won’t be catastrophically depleted-I *do* get depleted though!!! But yes speaking up about needs is good but sometimes ppl don’t respect your needs. So I have to set up my own boundaries and I have to ignore people sometimes. Literally I’ve been fretting over things lately and then I got two weeks to be at home completely alone…lo and behold I figured it out :) and my life is on a positive trajectory now 3. Emotional expression-haha I get angry a lot but yeah I feel like the more I learn to identify my emotions the better. As a female I’m expected to share my emotions often so I’m not that bad at this I feel. But I do see my non-5 female friends being better at it. They can just admit to liking someone for example 😂 that’s hard for me
I have just discovered your videos today. I love your explanations. I came across the Enneagram about 3 years ago and absolutely love how it gets me perfectly. I love being a 5! On the energy side of things, every social interaction drains my energy, even the beautiful ones. I cannot socialise for 2 consectutive days without being exhausted. But, when I am ready to socialise with anybody in my inner circle, I love it. So, I'm not sure your tip 2 is right for everyone who is a 5. I am not sure which wing is dominant for me, I think it's 6 but, I can also fit into 4 a little. I'm looking forward to checking out some more of your 5 videos. Thank you Hillary.
Thank you so much. Out of all the videos I saw so far, nobody explains growth as simply as you did. And yeah.. It took me a long time to come to terms with my emotions and learning how to process them. I literally studied psychology for this very reason. I learnt socializing the same way too. I tried so many things only to find that I do it the best through art or reading because people drain me, but it's still better than angry outbursts I had before. Still a long way to go but I guess I can start with your tips. :)
I'm a counterphobic 5. You mentioned the chart with emotions listed on it. I about fell out of my chair when I heard that. A friend whose a counterphobic 6 and I will resort to imago for resolving issues and during the process will break out the emotions chart to describe what we are feeling. It works very well to help us understand what our emotions are.
I think the fear is lack of patience with extroverts and people who just don't understand that we don't really have a great need to socialize. I get panicky when I don't have enough time alone and just retreat more and more.
I relate to this so much! They think that you're ignoring them but it's not about them. And for me personally, the more I'm pushed to socialise the more I shut myself off.
💻Need to book a typing session? enneagramandcoaching.com/get-started/p/discoveryourtype 👋Say Hello on Instagram! instagram.com/enneagramandcoaching/ ✨Subscribe for more videos every week! th-cam.com/users/hillarymccaskey
Being INFP-T and Type 5, I figured what My growth path is, I knew what needed to be done all along. But then, why Can't I act on it. Why don't I feel that constant hunger, that burning desire to succeed in life? If I do these 3 things, My life will be so much better but all in vain.
The thing non 5s don’t understand is how little energy we have and how quickly it deteriorates. I’m finding the older I get, the less energy I have so it’s actually going in reverse. The energy depletion is real.
I like this. I'm currently working on the last tip, the other two oh my,I guess I'll try but one step at a time 😅. Also I thank you for the print out idea
I’m a 5w4 (sexual) (INTP-A Fe/Si) I tended to bounce around emotions a lot over the past until recently I had a massive depression which has pushed me into a state where I’m very close to my emotional state (which is freaky) I still do the vacant stare but I can really express my emotions. It’s funny people still want more though when I simply say “no really I am happy”
I'm a 5w6 sp. I spent months studying my classic car break system and gathering all the tools and parts. I completely disassembled the system and restaured it in 3 hours. Seasoned mechanics I know were appalled. I never did any type of break job before, no matter how small.
Most people don't know or realize this but instincts are often wrong. Whether you call them instincts or intuition, whatever, They sound like the same thing to me, scientists have done experiments concerning this almost near-intangible thing, and found that intuition, or instinct is kind of like a cheat code that is quick-thinking, sure, but often falty because it is so fast. They did this experiment where people were watching a sports video where they had to track where the ball went, but almost all of them missed the person in a gorilla suit pass by the camera for about ten seconds. This has been repeated several times. It's quite interesting. Also, and most people don't tell you this, but emotions are just sensations in the body. Just look within the body when sad, angry, etc, and you'll probably find a tenseness or a tightness within the chest or somewhere else within the body. This almost makes me wonder if emotions aren't actually what people think. For instance, take anger for a second. If anger is just a kind of tightness in the body, does that actually mean you are angry, or does that just mean you have a tightness within your body somewhere. This kind of takes away the meaning of emotions if you think about it.
(Lighting cracks overhead and thunder rumbles throughout the Intellectual Sphere) (The camera zooms through the opening, swerving wildly through the tunnels and platforms until it arrives at the catacombs where emotions are being squished into a prison cell) Look, I know this is uncomfortable for you. I don't care. You don't want to be in there, I don't want you out here. (More pushing and straining, being bit by happiness in reply) Stupid emotion! I gave you an option to go be with an Enneagram 4. I had a great deal, a box of ham sandwiches and a cold drink for the whole lot of ya! You could have had fun, saw the world, did anything else other than annoy me! (pushing the prison door shut) There! That'll keep you for a while. Wing 4! Next time don't open this gate. Ever. Do you-- (Snapping up to see the camera) Ah, yes... I didn't expect to see you here! I was... I was... (Grabs a makeshift curtain and hangs it over the door. It falls to the floor) I was making sure I didn't have the unwanted emotions escaping. We don't want anything we can't tolerate. (Camera turns to Sorrow, Grief, Sadness, and Anger) Yeah, I keep those ones out. I tolerate them because they keep Wing 4 and Wing 6 on the straight and narrow. If there's one thing we don't need around here are PEOPLE who decide to FREE emotions when they aren't ALLOWED TO DO SO. (Wing 4 winces at every escalated pitch) You disappoint me. Go get me a ham sandwich and-- (The 5 drifts off, stops, droops forward, and goes limp) *The master's battery has run out again. I should go get the charger cable for the master.* As an honest statement: I don't think there are people who want to hear me. They come to me so I can listen and absorb. They come to have me offer whatever advice I can give them that is neutral and solicited, but rarely do people want to get my opinion on anything. I am okay with that. My opinions often make people uncomfortable. My sharing, even uninformed, can be overwhelming for a lot of people. Someone told me once it would be the best thing if I could turn down my thinking to a 1 as I was too deep for them and they didn't want to be around me. That's sort of my thing. I don't change for people like that, and I know a lot of people look and say things like that to me all the time. Better to let them wander off and get themselves in trouble. I already have enough of my own, as it were. Still, great advice for everyone else to follow for sure!
I am Type 5 and INFP-T, for me expressing my emotions is most tiring. Also, most of the time I find people don't get what I am trying to explain. Maybe because they cannot step-in in someone's shoes like I can.
I noticed that I do at least one thing - I share my knowledge with people I trust. When I see that someone is not interested or does not appreciate my effort to help them, I just stop sharing. I don't like wasting time.
❤️❤️
I’m about to open up an Etsy shop of my own and I was starting to get into the spiral of researching but never taking action, as well as getting overwhelmed and overstimulated with ideas. However I am coaching myself through the process and trying to give myself baby steps so I actually take action and don’t get stressed out.
“Stop operating from a place of insufficiency.” That was beautifully put.
As a five, my emotions aren’t channeled out toward anything or anyone except into chasing deeper understanding of the world and myself. Channeling emotions outward towards people only makes them channel their energy toward you which we try to avoid. Five feel misunderstood because they are by non fives.
Well stated. I put my emotions under a microscope and study them, almost as a separate part of myself. My therapist has mentioned this is known as compartmentalization and apparently isn’t healthy. I also tend to reserve my emotions until I can express them when I am alone and no one is watching.
@@chemtrooper1 I completely understand and relate.
I’m a 5, and I like the tip of getting into your body and listening to your gut instincts.
❤️
growing up the only emotions I knew was just good or bad but as I got older and have conversations about feelings with others, all kinds of emotions gotten more clear to me now. Most of the times Fives are unsure of how they're actually feeling so it is nice to have someone break it all down. Thank you SO much for this video it made my problems a lot more obvious
Great episode H! I'm a solid 5. I relate to every word. From fear of energy depletion to observing instead of participating; getting stuck in research (so enlivening!) instead of expressing and sharing (fear of not relating to others). And... on my bookshelf is "The Emotion Thesaurus" yikes. Thank You! I'll be diving into the healthy 8. You rock!
Thanks Lisa! Wow. I like the title of that book. Thank you for sharing 😀
“The Emotion Thesaurus” by Angela Ackerman & Becca Puglisi
I feel like there’s not as much stuff about growth for enneagram types, compared to content about identifying traits, strengths and weaknesses etc. I really liked that bit about participating more because observing from afar leads to you missing out. Thanks for the video!
I’m pretty certain that I’m a 5w4. I feel my emotions and I can sometimes be reactive. I’ve been in therapy for 1.5 years and I’m still learning how to allow myself to process them. Writing helps.
Most of the time for me I know pretty well what I am feeling. But I have learned since childhood that you never ever share what you feel. This is an ongoing struggle for me. I am making a lot of progress though. But, I still have a long way to go.
Thank you for sharing. Good job on progress. It’s so hard but it’s worth it.
Yes, I agree. I am a 5, too and I have many emotions inside. I can quite easily name them. My brother told me they are visible on my face and I cannot hide them. I think I am a sensitive and empathic person, but I do not like talking about my feelings, because I do not trust people, and I do not feel accepted.
As a 5 I’ve noticed I tend to feel anger only in “productive” ways (mostly). Like that fire in my belly that makes me get off my ass and do something about whatever’s bothering me. So yeah, it feels good (in a dopaminey way) riding the wave of assertion that comes with it. It’s nice to know I can access it and use it responsibly since I’ve been very reserved for most of my life.
I saw this on my subscription feed and I thought “FINALLY!!!!!” * watching now *
1. Going for it rather than learning forever-yes I’ve been doing that and it does help
2. Your energy won’t be catastrophically depleted-I *do* get depleted though!!! But yes speaking up about needs is good but sometimes ppl don’t respect your needs. So I have to set up my own boundaries and I have to ignore people sometimes. Literally I’ve been fretting over things lately and then I got two weeks to be at home completely alone…lo and behold I figured it out :) and my life is on a positive trajectory now
3. Emotional expression-haha I get angry a lot but yeah I feel like the more I learn to identify my emotions the better. As a female I’m expected to share my emotions often so I’m not that bad at this I feel. But I do see my non-5 female friends being better at it. They can just admit to liking someone for example 😂 that’s hard for me
Yay! thank you for sharing your thoughts! Loved reading this!
@@enneagramandcoaching omg thanks for taking the time to read haha
I have just discovered your videos today. I love your explanations. I came across the Enneagram about 3 years ago and absolutely love how it gets me perfectly. I love being a 5! On the energy side of things, every social interaction drains my energy, even the beautiful ones. I cannot socialise for 2 consectutive days without being exhausted. But, when I am ready to socialise with anybody in my inner circle, I love it. So, I'm not sure your tip 2 is right for everyone who is a 5. I am not sure which wing is dominant for me, I think it's 6 but, I can also fit into 4 a little. I'm looking forward to checking out some more of your 5 videos. Thank you Hillary.
Love this! Welcome! Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insight! ❤️
This is pretty relatable, you summed up most of my weak spots.
I'm a type 5 and this is very on point. Thank you for the video.
You are welcome!
Thank you so much. Out of all the videos I saw so far, nobody explains growth as simply as you did.
And yeah.. It took me a long time to come to terms with my emotions and learning how to process them. I literally studied psychology for this very reason. I learnt socializing the same way too.
I tried so many things only to find that I do it the best through art or reading because people drain me, but it's still better than angry outbursts I had before. Still a long way to go but I guess I can start with your tips. :)
I'm a counterphobic 5. You mentioned the chart with emotions listed on it. I about fell out of my chair when I heard that. A friend whose a counterphobic 6 and I will resort to imago for resolving issues and during the process will break out the emotions chart to describe what we are feeling. It works very well to help us understand what our emotions are.
Wow! Love this!
I hear "process your emotions" all the time. How do you process them??
I think the fear is lack of patience with extroverts and people who just don't understand that we don't really have a great need to socialize. I get panicky when I don't have enough time alone and just retreat more and more.
I relate to this so much! They think that you're ignoring them but it's not about them. And for me personally, the more I'm pushed to socialise the more I shut myself off.
💻Need to book a typing session? enneagramandcoaching.com/get-started/p/discoveryourtype
👋Say Hello on Instagram! instagram.com/enneagramandcoaching/
✨Subscribe for more videos every week! th-cam.com/users/hillarymccaskey
With me it feels like the emotions just come out of the nothing. Overwhelmingly. Mostly there is nothing and than suddenly...EMOTIONS
Being INFP-T and Type 5, I figured what My growth path is, I knew what needed to be done all along. But then, why Can't I act on it. Why don't I feel that constant hunger, that burning desire to succeed in life? If I do these 3 things, My life will be so much better but all in vain.
The thing non 5s don’t understand is how little energy we have and how quickly it deteriorates. I’m finding the older I get, the less energy I have so it’s actually going in reverse. The energy depletion is real.
I like this. I'm currently working on the last tip, the other two oh my,I guess I'll try but one step at a time 😅. Also I thank you for the print out idea
Awesome!
Great video
Glad you enjoyed it
I’m a 5w4 (sexual) (INTP-A Fe/Si) I tended to bounce around emotions a lot over the past until recently I had a massive depression which has pushed me into a state where I’m very close to my emotional state (which is freaky) I still do the vacant stare but I can really express my emotions. It’s funny people still want more though when I simply say “no really I am happy”
When you tell me I need to learn to process my emotions, my first thought is “okay, so how long is that going to take” lol 😂😂
😂🤣😂
I was thinking the same thing LOL
I'm a 5w6 sp. I spent months studying my classic car break system and gathering all the tools and parts. I completely disassembled the system and restaured it in 3 hours. Seasoned mechanics I know were appalled. I never did any type of break job before, no matter how small.
Thank you so much for this 💜💜💜
You’re so welcome! ❤️
Most people don't know or realize this but instincts are often wrong. Whether you call them instincts or intuition, whatever, They sound like the same thing to me, scientists have done experiments concerning this almost near-intangible thing, and found that intuition, or instinct is kind of like a cheat code that is quick-thinking, sure, but often falty because it is so fast. They did this experiment where people were watching a sports video where they had to track where the ball went, but almost all of them missed the person in a gorilla suit pass by the camera for about ten seconds. This has been repeated several times. It's quite interesting.
Also, and most people don't tell you this, but emotions are just sensations in the body.
Just look within the body when sad, angry, etc, and you'll probably find a tenseness or a tightness within the chest or somewhere else within the body.
This almost makes me wonder if emotions aren't actually what people think.
For instance, take anger for a second.
If anger is just a kind of tightness in the body, does that actually mean you are angry, or does that just mean you have a tightness within your body somewhere.
This kind of takes away the meaning of emotions if you think about it.
I want to work on all but at the same time they look like they require a lot of energy
They do require energy. I'd just tackle one at a time. Thanks for sharing 😀
OMG!!! Tip 1 is SO me! I get stuck here every time 🤔😒
So I can just my energy?
What does it mean to "hold space for your own emotions"?
I think it means to accept how they feel and accommodate them.
I have a lot of 5 energy, and I can always leave for the bathroom in quiet. I just need to show up at least.
(Lighting cracks overhead and thunder rumbles throughout the Intellectual Sphere)
(The camera zooms through the opening, swerving wildly through the tunnels and platforms until it arrives at the catacombs where emotions are being squished into a prison cell)
Look, I know this is uncomfortable for you. I don't care. You don't want to be in there, I don't want you out here.
(More pushing and straining, being bit by happiness in reply)
Stupid emotion! I gave you an option to go be with an Enneagram 4. I had a great deal, a box of ham sandwiches and a cold drink for the whole lot of ya! You could have had fun, saw the world, did anything else other than annoy me!
(pushing the prison door shut)
There! That'll keep you for a while.
Wing 4! Next time don't open this gate. Ever. Do you--
(Snapping up to see the camera)
Ah, yes... I didn't expect to see you here! I was... I was...
(Grabs a makeshift curtain and hangs it over the door. It falls to the floor)
I was making sure I didn't have the unwanted emotions escaping. We don't want anything we can't tolerate.
(Camera turns to Sorrow, Grief, Sadness, and Anger)
Yeah, I keep those ones out. I tolerate them because they keep Wing 4 and Wing 6 on the straight and narrow. If there's one thing we don't need around here are PEOPLE who decide to FREE emotions when they aren't ALLOWED TO DO SO.
(Wing 4 winces at every escalated pitch)
You disappoint me. Go get me a ham sandwich and--
(The 5 drifts off, stops, droops forward, and goes limp)
*The master's battery has run out again. I should go get the charger cable for the master.*
As an honest statement: I don't think there are people who want to hear me. They come to me so I can listen and absorb. They come to have me offer whatever advice I can give them that is neutral and solicited, but rarely do people want to get my opinion on anything. I am okay with that. My opinions often make people uncomfortable. My sharing, even uninformed, can be overwhelming for a lot of people. Someone told me once it would be the best thing if I could turn down my thinking to a 1 as I was too deep for them and they didn't want to be around me. That's sort of my thing. I don't change for people like that, and I know a lot of people look and say things like that to me all the time.
Better to let them wander off and get themselves in trouble. I already have enough of my own, as it were.
Still, great advice for everyone else to follow for sure!
I can identify my emotions, but I can't express them properly
I am Type 5 and INFP-T, for me expressing my emotions is most tiring. Also, most of the time I find people don't get what I am trying to explain. Maybe because they cannot step-in in someone's shoes like I can.