lol I'm sorry it's been such a long time!! I just hadn't been in the right headspace to be dating this past year.... I didn't want to push my mental health just for online content, you know? 😅
Instead of sparks, I would ask myself..."do we share the same values?" because that is what makes or breaks a relationship. And finding the answer to that takes quite a while.
A lot of time the feelings develop over time...sparks are over-rated 😋 when I first met my now-husband I thought he was a creep and wanted nothing to do with him...cut to being together almost 17 years and married for almost 15. Your person is out there...even if you may not realize he is your person right away! ♡
I agree..I thought my hubby was so weird and annoying that I had intended to never see him again. We've bern together 22 years and have 2 girls. He is my best friend and I seriously couldn't imagine life without him. First impressions aren't everything..
The fact you could talk to each other for 3 hours straight seems like a good sign. It would have been easy for one of you guys to cut it shorter and leave.
The "spark" is what people expect because of film and movies. It's not always how it works. My husband and I were not each other's typical "type" at first anyways... We have been together 10 years. The "spark" came later and I'm so glad it did. There's too many expectations of what is or should look like right at the start and it's unrealistic.
I am shocked to see how many girls didn't feel sparks/butterflies with their partners at first. I gotta say: me too! I needed two months of dating before I started falling in love with my boyfriend. My advice: if he's a good person and treats you right, give him a chance. Sparks are overrated. Edit: he turned out to be a dumbass and I left him, but it was the easiest break up ever. I didn't even sleep with him because I realised that I am still not really attracted to him. Best decision ever. The lack of spark is a good thing after all 😂 makes you see things clearly.
Totally agree! If your typical ‘type’ isn’t working then try someone new. I gave someone a chance I normally wouldn’t, even friend zoned them for a couple months. Then all of a sudden all the feelings came. 15yrs later, we’ve been married almost 10yrs and have 3yr old twins. ☺️
I loved reading your replies. ❤️ I guess this is something common that no one really talks about. There's just one thing that I really want to know: what happened between Cassie and that guy 😄
I feel more sparks with my boyfriend now, 6 years in, than I did during the dating process. I know him so well and love the small things you don't get to learn immediately. =)
I agree that I felt more sparks as time went on with my boyfriend. We got together when I was 20, and at first he was just my good friend and party buddy. Until we started going to parties and I realized that when he was flirting with other girls that I wanted to be the girl he flirted with. Soon after I found out he felt the same way and I am now 34 going on to 35. We are still going strong, but I think having sparks right away might be very rare. I also think that can easily misinterpreted with lust and sexual attraction. Good for you getting out there and mustering up the courage.
When I first started dating my boyfriend I didn't have butterflies at all, no fireworks even when we kissed. It worried me lol that I almost stopped seeing him. Fast forward a year and I am so in love with him. Give it a chance, text him first if he wants to go out again if you thought he was a good person and had a good conversation going. I love these videos so much and wish you so much luck in finding your person!
3 hr walk and the conversation was flowing...that's a great start. Wouldn't have lasted that long had he not found you interesting and enjoyable company and vice versa, so that's a good sign or chalk it up to a nice afternoon walk with nice company and that's great too. Proud of you for going and having a nice time.
I was friends with my husband for the first year, we were then together for 8 years and have recently been married. No “sparks” from meeting but we have such a deep and beautiful connection now and that develops over time.
There aren’t always sparks at first. Evaluate him in other ways…is he an adult that fulfills ALL adult responsibilities? Most important and I don’t know why people don’t say this more often. When I first met my partner, the best thing about him is I felt calm and heard. As if he carefully considered every word I said. I’m an empath so I get fired up easily, emotionally dragged into the toxic drama of others, so this is a rare but perfect fit for me. It allows me to use my energy to be the best person I can be and that is good for him…and us.
I met my husband on a dating app in 2015. I was so into him when we were just talking, but I did NOT feel him on our first date. In fact, I planned to not see him again. I was just about to tell him that I wasn’t interested in being more than friends, when he texted me saying he was just in a car accident. It wasn’t severe, but I didn’t want to make his day worse and I agreed to go out with him again when he asked. I’m happy I did! Each date got better and better and we got married in 2019!
I think having a friend vibe is really good. My husband and I have been together for 9 years… our first date was a hang out and talking about bad dates we’ve been on! 😂 he’s still my absolute best friend and I think that’s great. A romantic relationship can’t be all about the sparks, you need good communication and mutual respect.
Here is my test. Imagine him sick with a heavy cold or tummy upset. Do you still like him? Would you want to take care if him? If so then it's a keeper. After 33 years I have been through family deaths, multi sicknesses, redundancy, good times and bad and I can't and don't want to imagine life without him. He's family. On our second date he got flu and could not drive home I had to take care if him. Three months later we got engaged.
My partner and I have been together for almost 5 years, and before we got together, we were friends for I wanna say six months? I can't remember exactly, but it felt very slow burn, and in my opinion, I think those are often the best beginnings. We got to know each other as people first without the pressure of romantic expectations and were able to establish a great relationship before feelings had a chance to muddy our perceptions of each other and situations we were going through at the time. Also, I just have to say, I love these types of videos. It makes me feel like we're bffs just hanging out haha
People have so many romanticised feelings about first dates (thanks rom coms) that people expect to fall in love right then and there, but most of them are super awkward (including awkward hugs) you never know!
The first date is always weird. If you both agree, then I think you should try a second date. I wasn't head over heels for my husband when we first started dating. Once we got over the jitters, we could relax and get comfortable together
In my experience whenever I felt immediate attraction and sparks, the relationship turned out to be extremely toxic. Every. Single. Time. Honestly I think it’s healthier for the relationship to have to build. I’m happy for you 💕
My friend is a licensed relationship therapist who I go to for a lot of advice on dating. She said sparks is just lust or limerance. It is temporary, therefore ltr cant be built or founded on it. Love at first sight is also a big lie, I'm often shocked with how many people actually believe in it and base on whether someone is "the one" on this.
Hey Cassie! I met my engineer partner on bumble. We also walked around for hours on our first date and I felt this instant feeling like we’ve been friends for years, like a warm cozy feeling. I tried another date and sparks developed , 4 years later and we have a daughter, a house and I’m so so glad I went on another date ❤️
Cassie,my friend who is a licensed relationship therapist with a PhD and did research in online dating said it is extremely normal for guys to quit messaging after the initial meetup, even when they were whole hog, gung ho texting you before. Why? Because meeting made everything real and now so much more is at stake. Before it was easy and virtual so messaging was effortless but now feelings and real people are involved . Yes, not every guy will react this way and I know from personal experience it is HIGHLY discouraging when this happens to you so I get where you are coming from. I think its 50/50, sometimes the guy truly is no longer interested for whatever reason and sometimes its like what she said, the dynamic s of meeting in person made it change which doesnt truly signify whether he likes you or not.
I definitely didn’t feel a spark at all the first date but it’s been 2 years and I love his face so much. With that said, never try to FORCE something. Things develop naturally if they’re meant to.
Cassie get on that Adapalene 4 times a week, benzoyl peroxide 2-3 times a week, and a day of just moisturizer regimen. Something with 5% Niacinamide in it during the day would give you even more brightening, and switching the benzoyl peroxide/adapalene for a night for a textured stridex pad would naturally pop some pimples in the process. Then some needles & alcohol for actual extractions and a 3 squeeze policy. If I squeeze gently 3 times and nothing happens I call it quits and put some ointment on the thing and call it a night. I went from being super broken out for years to relatively clear skin from that, as long as I don't try new products or have too much dairy. You also have those pimple patches you could use to avoid scratching them. Im super acne prone; I use these: Vanicream Light lotion The Ordinary Moisturizing factors (mixed with the lotion) Clinique Jelly sometimes Elta Md UV Clear Tinted spf Paulas Choice Youth Extending spf 50 Paulas Choice calm serum Stridex pads (red) Zero breakouts from those Hope its helpful. XOXO
Especially as Cass is Demi, a few of my friends are demisexual and they didn't have a spark with their SOs either, it's a gradual thing and those feelings of love, intimate or otherwise, grow with time as you get to know the person more.
Girl, the first time I went out with my BF I didn't think it was anything. I even went home and updated my dating profile after the date. But, we talked for a long time and when he expressed interest in another date I agreed. That was three years ago and now we live together. We're talking about marriage. Don't be too quick to write a guy off just because it isn't love at first sight. Being able to keep a conversation going for three hours is impressive.
You're entitled to your own emotions, you can't force anything. For me i fell in love with my partner with the first conversation and so did he. Love is what it is, theres no manual or instructions booklet, you just have to feel it out. No-one commenting on this video was there on your date, we don't know how you and him were feeling in those moments so i say trust your gut instinct and you'll be happy even if it's not in the way you thought.
I really do get the sparks thing. With all of the serious relationships I've been in within my 32 years, there was always some kind of spark, some kind of pull or interest. For one of those the spark was just immediate friendship and a kindredness, but there was always something otherwise I don't believe I would have continued seeing the person, and that's okay! There is no rule book to this stuff, you have to go with your gut. Whatever is meant for you will be for you regardless. Best of luck Cassie! Love these videos 😁
Totally get what you’re saying! I was in the same boat with my fiancé at first. He wasn’t my typical “type” on paper, but my dad made a good point (clearly your type isn’t working for you, so maybe you should give the nice guy a chance). Thank God I listened to my dad, because I would have missed out on such an incredible man. I was definitely attracted to my fiancé on our first date, but I wasn’t sure if we could get past that “lust” phase. On our third date, we experienced a somewhat unfortunate/funny situation, and from that moment on, I knew he was the one. I never believed in “when you know you know”, but dang girl, it’s so true!! I used to be the type that would write off a guy if I didn’t feel an immediate spark - looking back, I could have missed out on some decent men, but I’m beyond blessed for how things turned out. You’ll get there, I promise. It takes time and that’s okay ❤️
When I met my husband, I wasn't in an emotional place to be very open to "sparks." I liked him well enough and knew he was a good person. It was a slow-growing fire. We met in February, dated very casually, and then became an official couple the following July. We've been married for 15 years. There are plenty of sparks now!
I think you should give him some more chances first dates are always so awkward. Have to get the nerves out of the way. It could turn out to be more if you give him a chance. Love doesn’t always start on the first date. It grows once you get to know each other! Best wishes girl hope it works out for you ♥️
I went on a first date and I got that friendship vibe right off the bat, but as we went on more dates I started to like him more and more. I think being friends first is a great foundation for a relationship :)
Enjoyed watching this. Love how candid you are. May I just say, it’s a little unrealistic expecting sparks on a walk date? If he’s great might as well try dinner the next time.
I've definitely had sparks fly on first dates before (a few that I can recall) so I don't personally think it's unrealistic to want those sparks! That being said, I don't think that sparks on a first date are the only indicator of whether feelings can develop so I've not written this guy off just from the first date 😃
@@thriftthick Oh for sure. Sparks on first dates are possible and definitely fun. I’ve had those myself. I just don’t think a walk would be very conducive to sparks. But maybe I haven’t had that before. I wish you all the best! ❤️
My husband didn't give me butterflies, wasn't my 'type' but we became the best of friends and I wouldn't trade him for all the butterflies in the world.
I think sparks and all that at first is really more infatuation than love. I feel like Love really grows as you get to know someone and learn the things about them that make you love them. My husband and I were just friends first, and I love that man more than I could ever say. Happy together since 2003 ♥️ But it wasn't an instant firework.
I gave my boyfriend a high five after our first date and we’ve now been dating for almost 1.5 years hahaha. I think it’s a good idea to always try a second date if you didn’t hate him on the first date. Try something a little more “date-y” for your second date than a walk like dinner or drinks or something. Also PS, I always forget how pretty your eyes are!
When I met my now-fiancé back in high school, he had a huge crush on me from the beginning, but I had only friend feelings for him. Feelings can develop long afterwards!
On my first two dates with my now boyfriend, I wasn’t feeling it so I told him I just wanted to be friends. I wasn’t attracted to him but I liked him as a person. Fast forward a week later, and we hung out as friends and I had an amazing time, at the end of the night I asked him if we could date again and he said yes. We have been together for 8 months and we have so much in common it’s unbelievable and we are falling in love with each-other so quickly and fully we are talking about living together next year. The first time I met him I had no clue I’d ever develop feelings so strong for him.
Omgg I’m watching this and I just want to skip to the end to see if there is an update at the end. But I can’t do it. I must watch it allll!! I’m so excited for you
I did not like my boyfriend at ALL after the first date. I thought he was boring and had no personality. He apparently felt the opposite about me though and was so excited to ask me for a second date so I obliged... and I'm so grateful I did. Turns out he was just insanely nervous for the first date and therefore didn't show his personality. Four years later we are still together. I agree with everyone else saying that sparks are over rated and a lot of times love grows slowly without any sparks.
my first 3 dates with my partner werent romantic at all and definitely felt strictly friendly. my feelings for him developed very slowly and are so strong now! if he asks you out again, go for it! you never know what will develop :)
This may be harsh but after consoling my own friends and even after I had failed relationships I needed someone to tell me the truth instead of saying "Oh you'll find someone" or "there are tons of fish in the sea". After seeing many of these date videos, it just seems like you're looking for something that doesn't actually exist. Words used like sparks, is an immature feeling to strive for. Life isn't hallmark movie. I think your body language and your words definitely give off a negative vibe. You've got a "f off" kind of attitude and maybe it's humor but for someone who doesn't know you that's a huge turn off. Instead of constantly judging someone (which they can feel when you do that) go into a date excited instead of analyzing how it's going. The odds are you're not going to end up in a taylor swift music video after one date, love at first sight doesn't happen all that often and relationships that grow from friendships are actually more likely to last.
Thank you for doing these videos, they're so relatable for those of us in the dating scene right now. What I will never understand is when they are so into the date, extend the date, tell you they really want to see you again (without being asked) and then you don't hear from them again. What the hell is that? And the last date I went on he was acting like we were already a couple then told me in the middle of it that he's moving to another state. Like dude, what are we even doing here then? Honestly what is wrong with men these days? lol
I just think you've got this perfect, cute, tall, lanky nerd in your mind that you compare to all dudes. I say try to let that go and see what happens. I know it's easier said than done but it might help. 🤷♀️
I really don't have an ideal person in mind lol not sure why I give off that impression? I certainly have a 'type' I suppose but I don't write off people who don't fit that type (the last two guys I've dated have certainly not been perfect, tall, or lanky... one of them not even very nerdy).... I just look for someone I click with in terms of personality and hope that it's mutual 🤷♀️
Sooo….yeah, I am definitely one of those that my worst date ever turned into my husband of 24 years…and still going strong. You just never know. One thing that was very different with my husband then other people I had dated was that I felt 💯 comfortable and safe with him immediately. Of course there was an attraction or we wouldn’t have gone out together in the first place (it was the 90’s so we didn’t have dating apps), but it wasn’t the “being so nervous I couldn’t be myself” with him deal. But, yeah, our first date was not good and very awkward! But, a few months later we decided to see if there was anything and we ended up married 7 months later. I love your attitude about not trying to push anything…it will happen when it is supposed to. Much love and Happy Holidays! ❤️🌲😘
I know as I’ve gotten older that nerves and sparkles isn’t a good indicator anymore. If you’re nervous it can lead to worse communication. Idk if you can see friends, there’s always just sticking to friends and seeing what happens. There’s no downside to it, you just get a new friend!
Honestly the ones u feel sparks with are always the ones to break your heart. My current bf I guess u could say I sort of forced myself to like him at first but now I love him more than anything and we've been together for 5 years.
Sparks are definitely a concept sold to us by romcoms and other media. It can happen for sure, but it's certainly not the be-all end-all. Passion, like joy, is temporary, but the feelings of comfort, trust and love you can feel for a person, those are long-lasting and hold a lot more weight than sparks imho
Just wondering do any of the 1st dates that you go on that end up feeling more like a friend do you end up keeping them as friends and talking to them in that way or not.
Met my husband in mid July, I only saw him as a friend and we semi chatted off and on until December of that year. He invited me to hang for New Years and something just clicked & changed for me and the rest is history ❤️
I definitely did not feel sparks with my husband when we first started hanging out. I knew it was a good time hanging out, but I wasn't thinking it was romantic at all. Even the first time he tried to hold my hand (and a few times after), I swatted his hand away 😂. We just got married this year and celebrated four years together. I know that may not be the case for everyone, but it's never bad to see where things can go unless you get bad vibes. Wishing you luck, Cassie! I would love to see you find someone you feel excited about ❤
Isn't the side hug a kinda covid thing.. I think we've got used to the weird hi/goodbye gestures when we're super close.. I dunno. When I met my husband my first thought was "wtf! Why is this guy sticking his head through my car window!" It was a bit weird/awkward, but we're so in tune to one another now. I think it's good to just see how things go, esp if you get along anyway x
Psychologist say that if you feel a spark when you first meet someone that’s your brain warning you that this isn’t the right person for you.You should feel at ease and comfortable because that means the person will be caring and safe.
I know people who have been married for decades who felt a spark at first and continue to feel a spark. These things play out differently for different people, and any psychologist who would generalize the statement you made is irresponsible.
It's ok to have dates in the middle of the week. I have one on Monday. Well, its more of a making dinner, watching This is Earth kind of date. Though I have known him for years now. Actually every guy lately for the passed several years I have known. So I haven't had to go out or on any dating apps for a while. It's just in my life right now, I don't want anyone new. lmao Its just easier for me in life right now, if they already know me. Right now I don't think I have the mental energy to get to know someone new. lol
I came across your channel out of NOWHERE!! So glad I did!! 🥰 I totally needed to see/hear the world of “dating”!! I am a widowed 44-year “YOUNG” woman who lost my soul mate (kids father) on 10-10-10. I have been SINGLE SINCE!! Also have NEVER, EVER been on a date in my LIFE!!😬 Not even with my late hubby, we always just met at a mutual friends houses when we “hung out” & mind u, we met when we were 15. So I am LOST WHEN IT COMES TO DATING!!🤷🏽♀️ Actually TERRIFIED!! ANYWAYS!!! Glad I found you!! (Hope I’m not to old for this)😬
You're not too old at all. You make me feel human. I haven't dated in what feels like forever. I too need to hear more of the world of dating...and get on the dating bandwagon. I want to be more open and have that companionship again. I believe we can meet someone great as long as we're ready and open a door for it.
About the height thing, If he's gonna lie about your height... just don't. It's not the height that matters, its the honesty. Big red flag in my opinion!!! It's such a turn off, gotta be confident and be honest.. That's my perspective. Anyway, Loved these videos. You seem to be at peace with it! It's so hard to get back to dating, when you haven't for months.. so nerve wracking.
I agree! I dated someone about 5 inches shorter than he said he was and about 50 lbs heavier than his pictures. Did he really think I wasn't going to notice lol? Big turn off.
@@rodemates ohhh boy yup! Or when all the photos they have turn out to be from 2015, they don't look the same at all! No excuse for not having updated photos, it's almost 2022
My husband and I went to high school together but definitely were NOT high school sweethearts. 🙂 We got together a few years later and it was definitely a “grow to love” type of thing and the sparks did come… just not initially. I think there are so many nerves the first few times you meet up with someone… it’s hard to get to know the real them. I wouldn’t count him out!!
First dates are always nerve racking. I was always so nervous on a first date. I went on many Match dates before I met my husband. It took a lot of kissing some frogs to get him. It is good to know what you want. If you feel incline to give him a second date-go for it. And if not, that is cool too. You do you boo. Love that saying.
I know you have heard this alot but it is very true my husband and I were not each other's type 🤷♀️ but we spent hours talking and talking and got along so well something eventually clicked and we're 14 years still happily married.
I love your dating videos. You are right not to force it. When my ex asked me out, I was not excited. Our first date was coffee, and by the end of it, I definitely felt a spark. What started as nothing became an emotional, physical, and spiritual attraction on the first date. If you don't feel at least one of those, he's not the one and that's OK!
My first date with my partner went good but after I felt as though it was more of a friendship vibe. 4.5 years later he is my boyfriend/best friend! Remember the best relationships often start as friendships… maybe friendship vibes is what you should be looking for!
i didn’t even like my bf when we first met lmao. we met at work just over a year ago, one time he gave up his seat so i could sit by my fave work pals, thats when i started having butterflies and those nice feelings you get. but we were friends for 7 months before being together. i didn’t expect us to be where we are now, its crazy. the world works in mysterious ways✨ btw i love u xox
I met my fella off POF , my 1st date I wasn't to fussed , I found him drab & boring , talked to much!! And so on... almost 5yrs later I'm still with him , he not my type & I'm glad I decided to stick it out. 🙂
I love your nailpolish. 😍 Thanks for listing it in your description. :) I really like these vids too. Makes me feel not alone re: nerves before a date, but this one seemed a good one. You never know. Looking forward to an update, if he ever got in touch with you again, if you've seen each other again... That's so cute, Fig coming up to you in bed. 🥰
Cassie I'm glad to know you went the safe way to date. You hear so many horror stories about females. I lost my dad about 15 years ago and I decided I hated dating. I'm older than you so I understand you looking for a partner is important. Can't find if you don't look. And it won't happen if you don't invest time. Just be safe and trust no one no matter how nice they seem. Never ever invite a man into your home or you into his home or vehicle. I don't mean to scare you or any women but there are scary men everywhere.
Fyi, I am the queen of side hugs for any and everyone. I'm just not a big hugger. This could also come from the fact that I come from a family that does not hug. If we hug we hug on birthdays or holidays, pretty much any big occasion. The rest of the time you just get a hey how are you.
I think I speak for most people, THIS WAS THE CONTENT WE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!
Totally agree!!
lol I'm sorry it's been such a long time!! I just hadn't been in the right headspace to be dating this past year.... I didn't want to push my mental health just for online content, you know? 😅
@@thriftthick and we love and appreciate that about you most! You stay true to yourself and mental health comes first! 💗
Yes!!! Love these type of videos!!!
Instead of sparks, I would ask myself..."do we share the same values?" because that is what makes or breaks a relationship. And finding the answer to that takes quite a while.
Totally agree!
A lot of time the feelings develop over time...sparks are over-rated 😋 when I first met my now-husband I thought he was a creep and wanted nothing to do with him...cut to being together almost 17 years and married for almost 15. Your person is out there...even if you may not realize he is your person right away! ♡
This is my story exactly!!!! lol
This makes me nervous. I get the ick so easily at this point! 😣
@@erin_2292 I did too!!!
SAME!!! And an engineer!!! I ended up feeling so safe. Better than sparks.
I agree..I thought my hubby was so weird and annoying that I had intended to never see him again. We've bern together 22 years and have 2 girls. He is my best friend and I seriously couldn't imagine life without him. First impressions aren't everything..
The fact you could talk to each other for 3 hours straight seems like a good sign. It would have been easy for one of you guys to cut it shorter and leave.
The "spark" is what people expect because of film and movies. It's not always how it works. My husband and I were not each other's typical "type" at first anyways... We have been together 10 years. The "spark" came later and I'm so glad it did. There's too many expectations of what is or should look like right at the start and it's unrealistic.
Nobody falls in love with their "type", do they? ☺️
I am shocked to see how many girls didn't feel sparks/butterflies with their partners at first. I gotta say: me too! I needed two months of dating before I started falling in love with my boyfriend. My advice: if he's a good person and treats you right, give him a chance. Sparks are overrated.
Edit: he turned out to be a dumbass and I left him, but it was the easiest break up ever. I didn't even sleep with him because I realised that I am still not really attracted to him. Best decision ever. The lack of spark is a good thing after all 😂 makes you see things clearly.
Same! Sparks are overrated. I need to get to know the person and be around him for a while before I feel a connection.
This! And sparks is just something they say in the movies anyway 😉 A friendship is the perfect foundation for something special to blossom.
Totally agree! If your typical ‘type’ isn’t working then try someone new. I gave someone a chance I normally wouldn’t, even friend zoned them for a couple months. Then all of a sudden all the feelings came. 15yrs later, we’ve been married almost 10yrs and have 3yr old twins. ☺️
I loved reading your replies. ❤️ I guess this is something common that no one really talks about. There's just one thing that I really want to know: what happened between Cassie and that guy 😄
@@anneg7773 No 2nd date video yet . . . 😆
I feel more sparks with my boyfriend now, 6 years in, than I did during the dating process. I know him so well and love the small things you don't get to learn immediately. =)
I agree that I felt more sparks as time went on with my boyfriend. We got together when I was 20, and at first he was just my good friend and party buddy. Until we started going to parties and I realized that when he was flirting with other girls that I wanted to be the girl he flirted with. Soon after I found out he felt the same way and I am now 34 going on to 35. We are still going strong, but I think having sparks right away might be very rare. I also think that can easily misinterpreted with lust and sexual attraction. Good for you getting out there and mustering up the courage.
When I first started dating my boyfriend I didn't have butterflies at all, no fireworks even when we kissed. It worried me lol that I almost stopped seeing him. Fast forward a year and I am so in love with him. Give it a chance, text him first if he wants to go out again if you thought he was a good person and had a good conversation going. I love these videos so much and wish you so much luck in finding your person!
3 hr walk and the conversation was flowing...that's a great start. Wouldn't have lasted that long had he not found you interesting and enjoyable company and vice versa, so that's a good sign or chalk it up to a nice afternoon walk with nice company and that's great too. Proud of you for going and having a nice time.
I was friends with my husband for the first year, we were then together for 8 years and have recently been married. No “sparks” from meeting but we have such a deep and beautiful connection now and that develops over time.
There aren’t always sparks at first. Evaluate him in other ways…is he an adult that fulfills ALL adult responsibilities? Most important and I don’t know why people don’t say this more often. When I first met my partner, the best thing about him is I felt calm and heard. As if he carefully considered every word I said. I’m an empath so I get fired up easily, emotionally dragged into the toxic drama of others, so this is a rare but perfect fit for me. It allows me to use my energy to be the best person I can be and that is good for him…and us.
I met my husband on a dating app in 2015. I was so into him when we were just talking, but I did NOT feel him on our first date. In fact, I planned to not see him again. I was just about to tell him that I wasn’t interested in being more than friends, when he texted me saying he was just in a car accident. It wasn’t severe, but I didn’t want to make his day worse and I agreed to go out with him again when he asked. I’m happy I did! Each date got better and better and we got married in 2019!
I think the best relationships start as friends first.
I think having a friend vibe is really good. My husband and I have been together for 9 years… our first date was a hang out and talking about bad dates we’ve been on! 😂 he’s still my absolute best friend and I think that’s great. A romantic relationship can’t be all about the sparks, you need good communication and mutual respect.
Here is my test. Imagine him sick with a heavy cold or tummy upset. Do you still like him? Would you want to take care if him? If so then it's a keeper. After 33 years I have been through family deaths, multi sicknesses, redundancy, good times and bad and I can't and don't want to imagine life without him. He's family. On our second date he got flu and could not drive home I had to take care if him. Three months later we got engaged.
If you are solely focused on “sparks” you are going to continue to be disappointed. Sparks are in the movies and fairy tales.
My partner and I have been together for almost 5 years, and before we got together, we were friends for I wanna say six months? I can't remember exactly, but it felt very slow burn, and in my opinion, I think those are often the best beginnings. We got to know each other as people first without the pressure of romantic expectations and were able to establish a great relationship before feelings had a chance to muddy our perceptions of each other and situations we were going through at the time. Also, I just have to say, I love these types of videos. It makes me feel like we're bffs just hanging out haha
People have so many romanticised feelings about first dates (thanks rom coms) that people expect to fall in love right then and there, but most of them are super awkward (including awkward hugs) you never know!
Sounds perfect for how you like to be friends before liking someone romantically!
My thoughts exactly. I’m guessing she just didn’t find him physically attractive…
The first date is always weird. If you both agree, then I think you should try a second date. I wasn't head over heels for my husband when we first started dating. Once we got over the jitters, we could relax and get comfortable together
First dates can be weird and awkward. Sometimes we have to give it time.
In my experience whenever I felt immediate attraction and sparks, the relationship turned out to be extremely toxic. Every. Single. Time.
Honestly I think it’s healthier for the relationship to have to build. I’m happy for you 💕
Yep sparks = anxiety, no sparks = feeling safe and secure
I loved watching this. I feel like if a walking date turned into a three hour walk that is *huge* and a really good sign!!
My friend is a licensed relationship therapist who I go to for a lot of advice on dating. She said sparks is just lust or limerance. It is temporary, therefore ltr cant be built or founded on it. Love at first sight is also a big lie, I'm often shocked with how many people actually believe in it and base on whether someone is "the one" on this.
I think a 3 hour conversation sounds like a good start.
Hey Cassie! I met my engineer partner on bumble. We also walked around for hours on our first date and I felt this instant feeling like we’ve been friends for years, like a warm cozy feeling. I tried another date and sparks developed , 4 years later and we have a daughter, a house and I’m so so glad I went on another date ❤️
congrats Amber!!! You're living the dream 💕
Cassie,my friend who is a licensed relationship therapist with a PhD and did research in online dating said it is extremely normal for guys to quit messaging after the initial meetup, even when they were whole hog, gung ho texting you before. Why? Because meeting made everything real and now so much more is at stake. Before it was easy and virtual so messaging was effortless but now feelings and real people are involved . Yes, not every guy will react this way and I know from personal experience it is HIGHLY discouraging when this happens to you so I get where you are coming from. I think its 50/50, sometimes the guy truly is no longer interested for whatever reason and sometimes its like what she said, the dynamic s of meeting in person made it change which doesnt truly signify whether he likes you or not.
I definitely didn’t feel a spark at all the first date but it’s been 2 years and I love his face so much.
With that said, never try to FORCE something. Things develop naturally if they’re meant to.
Cassie get on that Adapalene 4 times a week, benzoyl peroxide 2-3 times a week, and a day of just moisturizer regimen. Something with 5% Niacinamide in it during the day would give you even more brightening, and switching the benzoyl peroxide/adapalene for a night for a textured stridex pad would naturally pop some pimples in the process. Then some needles & alcohol for actual extractions and a 3 squeeze policy. If I squeeze gently 3 times and nothing happens I call it quits and put some ointment on the thing and call it a night. I went from being super broken out for years to relatively clear skin from that, as long as I don't try new products or have too much dairy. You also have those pimple patches you could use to avoid scratching them.
Im super acne prone; I use these:
Vanicream Light lotion
The Ordinary Moisturizing factors (mixed with the lotion)
Clinique Jelly sometimes
Elta Md UV Clear Tinted spf
Paulas Choice Youth Extending spf 50
Paulas Choice calm serum
Stridex pads (red)
Zero breakouts from those
Hope its helpful. XOXO
Love adapelene!!
It takes time to feel comfy with someone, not everyone is built for immediate intimacy.
Especially as Cass is Demi, a few of my friends are demisexual and they didn't have a spark with their SOs either, it's a gradual thing and those feelings of love, intimate or otherwise, grow with time as you get to know the person more.
Girl, the first time I went out with my BF I didn't think it was anything. I even went home and updated my dating profile after the date. But, we talked for a long time and when he expressed interest in another date I agreed. That was three years ago and now we live together. We're talking about marriage. Don't be too quick to write a guy off just because it isn't love at first sight. Being able to keep a conversation going for three hours is impressive.
You're entitled to your own emotions, you can't force anything. For me i fell in love with my partner with the first conversation and so did he. Love is what it is, theres no manual or instructions booklet, you just have to feel it out. No-one commenting on this video was there on your date, we don't know how you and him were feeling in those moments so i say trust your gut instinct and you'll be happy even if it's not in the way you thought.
I really do get the sparks thing. With all of the serious relationships I've been in within my 32 years, there was always some kind of spark, some kind of pull or interest. For one of those the spark was just immediate friendship and a kindredness, but there was always something otherwise I don't believe I would have continued seeing the person, and that's okay! There is no rule book to this stuff, you have to go with your gut. Whatever is meant for you will be for you regardless. Best of luck Cassie! Love these videos 😁
Texting works both ways. If you enjoyed the walk then let him know....
Right? It's not that complicated. What's the harm in...I dunno...communicating that you had fun?
Totally get what you’re saying! I was in the same boat with my fiancé at first. He wasn’t my typical “type” on paper, but my dad made a good point (clearly your type isn’t working for you, so maybe you should give the nice guy a chance). Thank God I listened to my dad, because I would have missed out on such an incredible man. I was definitely attracted to my fiancé on our first date, but I wasn’t sure if we could get past that “lust” phase. On our third date, we experienced a somewhat unfortunate/funny situation, and from that moment on, I knew he was the one. I never believed in “when you know you know”, but dang girl, it’s so true!! I used to be the type that would write off a guy if I didn’t feel an immediate spark - looking back, I could have missed out on some decent men, but I’m beyond blessed for how things turned out. You’ll get there, I promise. It takes time and that’s okay ❤️
When I met my husband, I wasn't in an emotional place to be very open to "sparks." I liked him well enough and knew he was a good person. It was a slow-growing fire. We met in February, dated very casually, and then became an official couple the following July. We've been married for 15 years. There are plenty of sparks now!
I think you should give him some more chances first dates are always so awkward. Have to get the nerves out of the way. It could turn out to be more if you give him a chance. Love doesn’t always start on the first date. It grows once you get to know each other! Best wishes girl hope it works out for you ♥️
yup, I certainly haven't written him off!! Time will tell if anything blossoms between us 😊
I went on a first date and I got that friendship vibe right off the bat, but as we went on more dates I started to like him more and more. I think being friends first is a great foundation for a relationship :)
I reframe “nerves” to be excitement or anticipation or something positive. And as a good thing. That really helps me.
Good point. It's better then going into a date feeling indifferent or blah. Lol.
Enjoyed watching this. Love how candid you are. May I just say, it’s a little unrealistic expecting sparks on a walk date? If he’s great might as well try dinner the next time.
I've definitely had sparks fly on first dates before (a few that I can recall) so I don't personally think it's unrealistic to want those sparks! That being said, I don't think that sparks on a first date are the only indicator of whether feelings can develop so I've not written this guy off just from the first date 😃
@@thriftthick Oh for sure. Sparks on first dates are possible and definitely fun. I’ve had those myself. I just don’t think a walk would be very conducive to sparks. But maybe I haven’t had that before. I wish you all the best! ❤️
My husband didn't give me butterflies, wasn't my 'type' but we became the best of friends and I wouldn't trade him for all the butterflies in the world.
I think sparks and all that at first is really more infatuation than love. I feel like Love really grows as you get to know someone and learn the things about them that make you love them. My husband and I were just friends first, and I love that man more than I could ever say. Happy together since 2003 ♥️ But it wasn't an instant firework.
I gave my boyfriend a high five after our first date and we’ve now been dating for almost 1.5 years hahaha. I think it’s a good idea to always try a second date if you didn’t hate him on the first date. Try something a little more “date-y” for your second date than a walk like dinner or drinks or something.
Also PS, I always forget how pretty your eyes are!
When I met my now-fiancé back in high school, he had a huge crush on me from the beginning, but I had only friend feelings for him. Feelings can develop long afterwards!
On my first two dates with my now boyfriend, I wasn’t feeling it so I told him I just wanted to be friends. I wasn’t attracted to him but I liked him as a person. Fast forward a week later, and we hung out as friends and I had an amazing time, at the end of the night I asked him if we could date again and he said yes. We have been together for 8 months and we have so much in common it’s unbelievable and we are falling in love with each-other so quickly and fully we are talking about living together next year. The first time I met him I had no clue I’d ever develop feelings so strong for him.
Omgg I’m watching this and I just want to skip to the end to see if there is an update at the end. But I can’t do it. I must watch it allll!! I’m so excited for you
I did not like my boyfriend at ALL after the first date. I thought he was boring and had no personality. He apparently felt the opposite about me though and was so excited to ask me for a second date so I obliged... and I'm so grateful I did. Turns out he was just insanely nervous for the first date and therefore didn't show his personality. Four years later we are still together. I agree with everyone else saying that sparks are over rated and a lot of times love grows slowly without any sparks.
Yayy! Love to see these back again on your channel. I’ve been dating again so it’s nice to see other peoples experiences. Best wishes😘😍
Seeing this makes me miss dating. I think I need to start dating again too.
Awe keep trying Cassie keep searching he's out there! I'm fresh out of 13yr relationship but will keep searching for my match in the future 🤗
my first 3 dates with my partner werent romantic at all and definitely felt strictly friendly. my feelings for him developed very slowly and are so strong now! if he asks you out again, go for it! you never know what will develop :)
It will happen..u r beautiful inside n out…friendship first is the best way to go 😊
This may be harsh but after consoling my own friends and even after I had failed relationships I needed someone to tell me the truth instead of saying "Oh you'll find someone" or "there are tons of fish in the sea". After seeing many of these date videos, it just seems like you're looking for something that doesn't actually exist. Words used like sparks, is an immature feeling to strive for. Life isn't hallmark movie. I think your body language and your words definitely give off a negative vibe. You've got a "f off" kind of attitude and maybe it's humor but for someone who doesn't know you that's a huge turn off. Instead of constantly judging someone (which they can feel when you do that) go into a date excited instead of analyzing how it's going. The odds are you're not going to end up in a taylor swift music video after one date, love at first sight doesn't happen all that often and relationships that grow from friendships are actually more likely to last.
I don't get a "f off" vibe from her. I get one from you though.
@@squirrel_of_mistri8565 Aw I'm sorry your feelings got hurt
@@orangeswild3699 "F off" vibe confirmed. 🤦♀😂
Who the hell are you, bud? A relationship therapist? You need to chill
Thank you for doing these videos, they're so relatable for those of us in the dating scene right now. What I will never understand is when they are so into the date, extend the date, tell you they really want to see you again (without being asked) and then you don't hear from them again. What the hell is that? And the last date I went on he was acting like we were already a couple then told me in the middle of it that he's moving to another state. Like dude, what are we even doing here then? Honestly what is wrong with men these days? lol
I just think you've got this perfect, cute, tall, lanky nerd in your mind that you compare to all dudes. I say try to let that go and see what happens. I know it's easier said than done but it might help. 🤷♀️
I really don't have an ideal person in mind lol not sure why I give off that impression? I certainly have a 'type' I suppose but I don't write off people who don't fit that type (the last two guys I've dated have certainly not been perfect, tall, or lanky... one of them not even very nerdy).... I just look for someone I click with in terms of personality and hope that it's mutual 🤷♀️
I really loved reading these comments. Please do more of these videos...! You should make a series..!
Sooo….yeah, I am definitely one of those that my worst date ever turned into my husband of 24 years…and still going strong. You just never know. One thing that was very different with my husband then other people I had dated was that I felt 💯 comfortable and safe with him immediately. Of course there was an attraction or we wouldn’t have gone out together in the first place (it was the 90’s so we didn’t have dating apps), but it wasn’t the “being so nervous I couldn’t be myself” with him deal. But, yeah, our first date was not good and very awkward! But, a few months later we decided to see if there was anything and we ended up married 7 months later. I love your attitude about not trying to push anything…it will happen when it is supposed to. Much love and Happy Holidays! ❤️🌲😘
I know as I’ve gotten older that nerves and sparkles isn’t a good indicator anymore. If you’re nervous it can lead to worse communication. Idk if you can see friends, there’s always just sticking to friends and seeing what happens. There’s no downside to it, you just get a new friend!
Honestly the ones u feel sparks with are always the ones to break your heart. My current bf I guess u could say I sort of forced myself to like him at first but now I love him more than anything and we've been together for 5 years.
Sparks are definitely a concept sold to us by romcoms and other media. It can happen for sure, but it's certainly not the be-all end-all. Passion, like joy, is temporary, but the feelings of comfort, trust and love you can feel for a person, those are long-lasting and hold a lot more weight than sparks imho
Just wondering do any of the 1st dates that you go on that end up feeling more like a friend do you end up keeping them as friends and talking to them in that way or not.
Met my husband in mid July, I only saw him as a friend and we semi chatted off and on until December of that year. He invited me to hang for New Years and something just clicked & changed for me and the rest is history ❤️
I definitely did not feel sparks with my husband when we first started hanging out. I knew it was a good time hanging out, but I wasn't thinking it was romantic at all. Even the first time he tried to hold my hand (and a few times after), I swatted his hand away 😂. We just got married this year and celebrated four years together. I know that may not be the case for everyone, but it's never bad to see where things can go unless you get bad vibes. Wishing you luck, Cassie! I would love to see you find someone you feel excited about ❤
I really love your dating videos. You deserve a great guy. You are a true gem!!
thank you so much Nicole, that's very sweet of you 🥰
I met my husband at 30, married at 35. I am so happy I didn't settle for less. ❤ We talked for hours when we met and ended with a quick hug.
I just got out of a 7 year relationship and am so nervous to start the dating game again.
Ohh Cassie ❣️ I am so happy yaay! I hope it goes really nice!!! I'm dying to find out how it goes!! Let us know 🤓🥂
Isn't the side hug a kinda covid thing.. I think we've got used to the weird hi/goodbye gestures when we're super close..
I dunno. When I met my husband my first thought was "wtf! Why is this guy sticking his head through my car window!" It was a bit weird/awkward, but we're so in tune to one another now. I think it's good to just see how things go, esp if you get along anyway x
I honestly didn't even think about that, you could be right!!
Psychologist say that if you feel a spark when you first meet someone that’s your brain warning you that this isn’t the right person for you.You should feel at ease and comfortable because that means the person will be caring and safe.
I know people who have been married for decades who felt a spark at first and continue to feel a spark. These things play out differently for different people, and any psychologist who would generalize the statement you made is irresponsible.
I’m another example of not feeling sparks until like month 2 of talking to my now bf of 3 years that I can’t imagine life without!
Meeting for breakfast is alwaysy favorite first date. Then if it goes well you still have the rest of the day to take a walk in the park etc
It's ok to have dates in the middle of the week. I have one on Monday. Well, its more of a making dinner, watching This is Earth kind of date. Though I have known him for years now. Actually every guy lately for the passed several years I have known. So I haven't had to go out or on any dating apps for a while. It's just in my life right now, I don't want anyone new. lmao Its just easier for me in life right now, if they already know me. Right now I don't think I have the mental energy to get to know someone new. lol
I’m so glad you’re back!!! Hope you’re safe with the storms we had yesterday!! Much love ❤️❤️❤️
I'm glad it at least wasn't a disaster date. Maybe there will be sparks in future dates with him!
exactly!! Only time will tell 😊
I came across your channel out of NOWHERE!! So glad I did!! 🥰 I totally needed to see/hear the world of “dating”!! I am a widowed 44-year “YOUNG” woman who lost my soul mate (kids father) on 10-10-10.
I have been SINGLE SINCE!! Also have NEVER, EVER been on a date in my LIFE!!😬 Not even with my late hubby, we always just met at a mutual friends houses when we “hung out” & mind u, we met when we were 15. So I am LOST WHEN IT COMES TO DATING!!🤷🏽♀️ Actually TERRIFIED!! ANYWAYS!!! Glad I found you!! (Hope I’m not to old for this)😬
You're not too old at all. You make me feel human. I haven't dated in what feels like forever. I too need to hear more of the world of dating...and get on the dating bandwagon. I want to be more open and have that companionship again. I believe we can meet someone great as long as we're ready and open a door for it.
About the height thing, If he's gonna lie about your height... just don't. It's not the height that matters, its the honesty. Big red flag in my opinion!!! It's such a turn off, gotta be confident and be honest.. That's my perspective.
Anyway, Loved these videos. You seem to be at peace with it! It's so hard to get back to dating, when you haven't for months.. so nerve wracking.
I agree! I dated someone about 5 inches shorter than he said he was and about 50 lbs heavier than his pictures. Did he really think I wasn't going to notice lol? Big turn off.
@@rodemates ohhh boy yup! Or when all the photos they have turn out to be from 2015, they don't look the same at all! No excuse for not having updated photos, it's almost 2022
Oh my gosh yes this happened before I found my perfect match! This guy lied about age, height, job, all the things! Ridiculously lame. Huge red flag.
@@AlyseNicolettaHolder exactly! I have a huge thing about honesty.. Once I find one lie.. done. over. I've checked out lol No chances
I love following along with your dates! I'm single and never married and 36 so I relate
ahhhh i was so excited to see this pop up on my feed!!!
I love you Caissie! I’m glad you did it, you looked very pretty.. but.. you know what feels right👍❤️
the first date with my now boyfriend there were DEFINITELY sparks it just felt so right. go with your gut!
Wish it went better and if you don't end up seeing him again.... better for me cuz I love these types of videos! But fingers crossed he calls you 🤗
My husband and I went to high school together but definitely were NOT high school sweethearts. 🙂 We got together a few years later and it was definitely a “grow to love” type of thing and the sparks did come… just not initially. I think there are so many nerves the first few times you meet up with someone… it’s hard to get to know the real them. I wouldn’t count him out!!
First dates are always nerve racking. I was always so nervous on a first date. I went on many Match dates before I met my husband. It took a lot of kissing some frogs to get him. It is good to know what you want. If you feel incline to give him a second date-go for it. And if not, that is cool too. You do you boo. Love that saying.
Oh man your eyes looked amazing! You have a real talent with your eye makeup!!
I know you have heard this alot but it is very true my husband and I were not each other's type 🤷♀️ but we spent hours talking and talking and got along so well something eventually clicked and we're 14 years still happily married.
Glad you’re going on dates again! I love seeing your dating videos. Hope you’re doing well Cassie!
I feel like you say "lets see" but have already made up your mind and you're not open to anything than what you've decided
I love your dating videos. You are right not to force it. When my ex asked me out, I was not excited. Our first date was coffee, and by the end of it, I definitely felt a spark. What started as nothing became an emotional, physical, and spiritual attraction on the first date. If you don't feel at least one of those, he's not the one and that's OK!
I have a problem with skin picking too. I’ve found that stick foundations are the thickest and fill in any texture if you use a lot
My first date with my partner went good but after I felt as though it was more of a friendship vibe. 4.5 years later he is my boyfriend/best friend! Remember the best relationships often start as friendships… maybe friendship vibes is what you should be looking for!
Great and true point re friends first.
i didn’t even like my bf when we first met lmao. we met at work just over a year ago, one time he gave up his seat so i could sit by my fave work pals, thats when i started having butterflies and those nice feelings you get. but we were friends for 7 months before being together. i didn’t expect us to be where we are now, its crazy. the world works in mysterious ways✨ btw i love u xox
The world definitely works in mysterious ways. And I love it when love happens unexpectedly.
Yay!! So happy to see this!! These are my fav videos 🥺🥰
Your realness is so refreshing. Awesome personality!
I met my fella off POF , my 1st date I wasn't to fussed , I found him drab & boring , talked to much!! And so on... almost 5yrs later I'm still with him , he not my type & I'm glad I decided to stick it out. 🙂
Yeah I fist bumped my parter at the end of our first date haha, we’ve been together very happily for over 1.5 years now
maybe you get ghosted because guys find your youtube channel and videos.
Why do I always feel anxious when I watch these videos? Its like I am the one going on the date! haha
So excited to see you dating again! Missed these videos ❤️
I love your nailpolish. 😍 Thanks for listing it in your description. :) I really like these vids too. Makes me feel not alone re: nerves before a date, but this one seemed a good one. You never know. Looking forward to an update, if he ever got in touch with you again, if you've seen each other again... That's so cute, Fig coming up to you in bed. 🥰
Cassie I'm glad to know you went the safe way to date. You hear so many horror stories about females. I lost my dad about 15 years ago and I decided I hated dating. I'm older than you so I understand you looking for a partner is important. Can't find if you don't look. And it won't happen if you don't invest time. Just be safe and trust no one no matter how nice they seem. Never ever invite a man into your home or you into his home or vehicle. I don't mean to scare you or any women but there are scary men everywhere.
Fyi, I am the queen of side hugs for any and everyone. I'm just not a big hugger. This could also come from the fact that I come from a family that does not hug. If we hug we hug on birthdays or holidays, pretty much any big occasion. The rest of the time you just get a hey how are you.
You look beautiful! At least it wasn't a bad experience 💖