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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ส.ค. 2024
- 'Avoidant personality disorder is when people feel inadequate and are extremely sensitive to what others think about them. Someone with an avoidant personality disorder will appear shy and timid. They may avoid people because they feel inadequate, even though they secretly wish to have company'
In this video, I discuss the diagnostic criteria of Avoidant personality disorder. This video is for informational purposes only - not medical advice!
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▶ TH-cam: / @drsyl
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About me:
Hi there, I'm Syl. I'm a final year medical student from Sydney, Australia. I'm just starting out in the TH-camr space. I would love it if you reach out with feedback or suggestions!
Disclaimer: These videos are my opinion only and should be treated as such. They are not medical advice. I try my best to avoid any errors but if you feel something I said was incorrect please let me know.
I dont want to self-diagnose but all 7 of these slapped me harder than when my doctor told me I have GAD. This is simultaneously terrifying and relieving for me. Terrifying that I hard-checked on all 7 traits and relieving that for once something has described my daily struggle (which I am reluctant to share to anyone). Like, I cannot express to people how I feel because of how silly I might sound but these traits listed here just called me out so hard like a goddamn psychic.
As a teen, I was told through a diagnosis that I have a chance of developing AvPD. It's been 3 years, and even with the massive progress I've made through therapy, I still resonate with all but one of these points. At least now I can say that I'm better at functioning
I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder when I was around 50. I'm 70 now. My feeling is that the therapist needed a diagnosis code so that my insurance would pay. The therapy came out of couples counseling with my new (second) wife. We divorced after 10 months.
I was 18 years between marriages, and my first wife and I were in counseling 6 weeks after we wed. We divorced after 3 years and one daughter.
I was in industrial equipment sales for 30 years, loved it, and was very successful. For about 10 years I covered 10 states and relished all the time I had by myself. I usually stayed in the same hotels, ate at the same restaurants, and shopped at the same book, tobacco, and clothing stores. I was friendly with the folks who worked in these places and was always glad to catch up with what was going on with them. No problems with customer presentations or with the independent reps the company contracted with.
I just didn't like being married. It wasn't that I wanted more than one sexual partner; I never strayed on either wife. It was just that I preferred being alone, and people around me in the intimacies of home life made me profoundly uncomfortable. Sex was fine, but sitting in front of the TV together made me antsy as hell. What do you call someone with such "weird" traits? I'm simply happiest alone.
Psychiatrist/ DSM 5: “shows restraint within intimate relationships or with their partner”
Patient: “Lol, “partner” - are you trolling me?”
Ahah right? What partner? 😅
Dear Syl, I recently found your channel and applaud your videos! I struggle with Avoidant Personality Disorder, depression and alcohol dependence, and I feel like Avoidant Personality Disorder is a diagnosis that many people haven't heard about, so I was very happy when I found this video, and the same goes for your video on agoraphobia. I am really scared that I might never get better, since AvPD is called a "personality disorder"... So I want to ask you: If you could say one thing to people with personality disorders in order to give them hope, what would it be? Thank you for all of your help. Take care ❤
Yay a video of my disorder. I feel it doesn’t get talked about much. It’s usual one of the other personilty disorders.
I got my diagnosis when I was around 20 but I’m 31 now and still have it. They did say I was technically too young for the diagnosis but they were spot on. 🥲
Something I would like to note is how much the criteria are focussed on issues in social interactions, which are usually the most obvious signs but not the only area in which it affects. Having avoidant personality disorder affects your entire life. Basically your automatic kneejerk reaction yo any (perceived) stressor is avoidance. So not only social situations, but also incoming mail (which could be bills or otherwise bad news), phone calls, the fridge with the food that’s about to expire or maybe already a stinking rotting mess. Your brain is conditioned to think it can’t handle whatever stressor you come across so you have to avoid it all costs.
And believe me, at first you are completely unaware you are even doing this. A huge part of therapy is recognising this pattern. The next step is managing as best you can, and finding peace with the reality that this is who you are. You can’t completely cure a personality disorder.
I will always have to watch out for me avoiding my stressors, and sometimes allow myself to do so. It will always be a part of me.
I’d like you to make a course on parenting. I’m an Aspie and a parent of aspies…. I’m very interested in attachment styles and I’d like to learn more about how to foster a healthy attachment style for my kids. I believe I’ve struggled with attunement unfortunately due to my social quirks. So a course geared towards constructive parenting info would be awesome!
Or as the Cruxshadows song says, "there is nothing left but me."
"The sounds of yesterday, still echo in my head."
"Watching from the outside looking down, I feel so helpless."
"I see angels trapped beneath the ice, and strangers in my bed at night. Cloudy skies to cover up, the feelings buried in the dark."
"but the greatest virtue belongs to those who will give everything to love again." ..."It is a test"
As a guy on my own I have given my all to overcome this damn non-diagnosed so called "you're just shy" thing I have, but I am sure that it was more than just being shy. If I think I have overcome it, is that enough? I still feel lacking by decades. To put it in perspective, imagine being a teenager in your forties.
I don’t wanna be the person that diagnoses themselves from a TH-cam video but this literally just described me and now I’m concerned
Great video really informative. I've never officially been diagnosed with AVPD, but after watching this video, I'm sure I have it.
Thanks, Dr. Syl. It's really hard for me to connect and finding the right people. Hoping I can overcome this.
I was diagnosed with APD a few years ago and I'm still struggling with it. I thought that I made progress getting back into social media, but then I had a conflict with a couple on Tumblr, to the point of deleting my Tumblr account indefinitely and am now even more hesitant when talking.
Do you work
Finally another one, thanks
Hello Dr Syl! Great video and very interesting, I just subscribed to the channel. I would love a video detailing why people struggle with procrastination
I love it! That’s a great idea - thank you!! Hopefully I won’t procrastinate too long before putting it together haha
@@DrSyl hopefully so lol but whenever you do put it together I will be watching :)
Great video, wonderful bedside manner :) I hope you're doing well in your career.
I think I am a potpourri of what can be seen like mental disorders or maybe it is an evolution not yet recognized...
never been diagnosed or going to the psy. My abrupt changes in behaviors has me confused for a long time on who is the real me.
Thanks for your videos, it helps to see patterns in different mental
*disorders *
Who can say what is normal and adequate on the search of ones soul ? ;)
Dr Joseph Gordon Levitt
Interesting, my Mum was very shy and I think I have a bit of this, it seems to fit me the most. But on the other hand some people think I'm the life of the party. Weird, I don't know.
Sounds pretty similar to social anxiety
I don't know if you check comments on your older videos, like this on, from almost 3 years ago. I found your channel through the reaction you did on Hi Ren! Then I found this older video of yours.
I actually would like to see an updated, a more experience based version of this video - by now you must have some insight about this type of disorders and how it might present to others, possibly even what are some things, that would make a psychiatrist to suspect this kind of problems and to take a closer look.
Also other cluster C personality disorders are interesting, as I know there can often be a thin line between a personality trait and a personality disorder. I didn't see you cover any other cluster C pd's
I was diagnosed with APD and OCPD (a kind of inflexible perfectionism which has harmful effects in most or all areas of life - one can learn to manage it in a way, that minimises the harmfulness, but the traits will never really go away, they're a part of the personality after alln) alongside with severe clinical depression in 2016.
The situation had gotten out of hand years before I even was gently suggested to contact a local mental healthcare provider. It required a burnout with a barely (medically) maintained insomnia that had lasted for over 2 years, and I was falling apart. I was exhausted and went to see a GP in spring 2015, who announced a diagnosis before I even could close the door on my way in. She had decided it before we even met! I suspect she and my employer had had a conversation about me - my employer had but a week earlier told me I was a person no employer would ever want to hire, because I had just told her I was not coming to work on my sick leave, which she didn't approve of. All of that is not just unethical, it's actually against the law!
Getting the proper diagnosis' were not shocking, but it was a huge relief to realise that this thing I had been struggling with for so long had a name, and thus it was common enough to experts having researched it. That it was a real thing and not just something I was supposed to snap out of.
This was just over 7 years ago, after a year I had struggled a lot just to survive life in general and all the demands of the society. I did not even know (or understand) that the way I felt wasn't normal or that it was something the medical professionals would be interested about. I truly thought it was something I was supposed snap out of, and I was failing miserably! I felt like a defective human being, broken in a way that wasn't possible to ever mend, and I didn't even know what I was doing wrong!
So a name and a description was huge deal, a true life saver for me. Suddenly I was taken seriously and felt validated for the first time in my life! I'm still just learning to listen to myself and actually make my feelings count. The imposter syndrome is alive and well, but getting less dominance over my life.
To this day I struggle with my everyday life, but at least I know it's not imagined or faked, "all in my head" (although it kinda is 😜), and I don't have to doubt my sanity - because that is really scary!
I need to know more about malign narcisissm and the borderline/narcissist mixed PD
This is helpful, but I'm still not clear what's really going on with my (ex?) partner. 🤔
Can an individual have this if the thought of having to be around other people in prolonged or daily social makes you feel uneasy to the point of dread but there are no fear of rejection or embarrassment ?
What if my fear is being murdered by a family member, a stranger, or a psychopath?... If you're a psychopath, I don't think all psychopaths are bad and that everyone wants to murder me... Maybe I don't have the courage to be disliked or I fear judgment, but it's more because maybe I'll mysteriously die in my sleep, I sometimes volunteer and put myself into uncomfortable situations, maybe public speaking or teaching, I can face my fears but sometimes I get the feeling of putting myself or a part of myself into a lions mouth. I understand that people do it regardless in judging, criticizing, and so on but I just don't wanna put myself in their purview for them to do that all the time... If I could wear a mask for the rest of my life, like a superhero (Batman) or an actor I probably would, that way they can judge the mask even though I'm the one behind it in a sort of detached and anonymous way just like with the Satoshi Nakamoto situation and bitcoin... I'll probably come back and delete this comment after I get some insight...
If during your childhood you get humiliated and beaten 4 times a day, can you get Avoidant Personality Disorder?
@@joepss7946 I discovered a new disorder that I think I better fit in than Avoidant Personality Disorder. It is called Complex PTSD, which typically occurs by long duration of bullying or abuse during childhood.
@@joepss7946 I will do that for sure. Thanks alot bro!
is AVPD the same as an avoidant attachment style? my guess is no but if someone can confirm that would be great.
Nope
So, what's the problem? After dealing with psychopathic narcs my whole life, I see nothing wrong with wanting to spend a LOT more time with my dogs! ;)