NFL Asst Coach & Players On The Funniest Phrases They Heard From Coaches - AND USING THEM NOW
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.พ. 2025
- Seattle Seahawks assistant coach Daren Bates tells former Eagles and Chargers offensive lineman King Dunlap, NFL veteran cornerback Jalen Collins, and 2023 Rec League champion Alex Sweet about some of the funniest coaching terms and phrases he can use in the facility now as a coach. Full Raw Room episode "Where's My Bike?": • Raw Room - Ep 177 - Wh...
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High school coach said to me "I've seen better hands on a digital clock!"
I think about it most days.
🤣😭
💀🤣
Everytime you drop something , that immediately comes to mind.
🤣😂🤣😂 goat comment
Our coach used to tell our D Lineman “If you get into the backfield too fast, it’s a screen, you’re not that good dummy” 😂😂😂
😂😂😂
Or a guard pulling to trap yo ass 😂
😭
Ha!!!
😂😂😂
One game our rb missed his blocc , came to the sidelines with an excuse coach said "your the type to shit the bed and blame the baby"
W coach 🤣😭
LMAO LEGEND. Shoutout coach
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
🤣🤣
Coach used to tell us "yall gon run til im tired and i got plenty of rest last night." And proceeded to sit in his lawn chair. "Get gone."
Had a coach tell one of our WR’s “you couldn’t catch a cold butt naked in a snow storm”
Yeah mine told me once that I couldn’t catch one butt naked in the cold with a fan blowing on me 😂
Butt naked in Alaska
I heard a coach tell a player, "you couldn't catch AIDS if you went bareback in Africa" 😂🤣😂🤣😂
“Son you not a bad player, you just unskilled!”….that one still hurt till this day
Damn that must have really hurt 😂😂
😂😭😭
Yikes
We had this full back on scout team and he would always miss his block..coach would say “I can tape a grape to your helmet and you wouldn’t bust it” 😂😂
Had a scout team RB in college who would never step up in pass pro or would half ass it cuz he hated blocking. Our head coach told him "Straub next time you miss a fucken blocking assignment I just might have to start drinking again"
" You slow or you weak? Pick a struggle" 😂
I had a drill instructor tell us in boot camp “you all hype and no results y’all must be playing for the Dallas cowboys”
😂 god damn
W drill instructor 😂😭
@@KWillo I ain’t given out no names but parris island is unforgiving 🤣
@@metalfan4u I heard and thought damn you talking unusual right now 🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
I got the wind knocked outta me and my coach said "Get up, you're killing my grass." and it hurt to laugh but I couldn't help it, that shit was funny and I never heard him say it to anyone before or after he said it to me.
😂😂
💀💀
😂😂😂
Bruh at Morgan State.. Our head coach told our starting qb.. "Gotdammit #1 you the worst qb I ever coached, but you the best one I got." Bruh criinne 😂😂😂😂.
Yooooooo!!! I played at Morgan state too! What years were you there?
I had this African teammate. Coach hill told him if he were the king in his country, his people would DIE 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@Kayobracey bruh 💀💀💀💀
@@Kayobracey😂😂😂 ain't no way
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadamn 😂
@@Kayobraceyfuck! 😂
I remember Coach told my homie “Boy you got the IQ of a cookie” 😂😂😂😂😂😂
W coach 😂😭
😂😂 coaches be the funniest when you know they serious
🤣🤣 aye coach valid
*JALEN CAN’T EVEN RESPOND HE SO HIGH HIS RESPONSE TIME SO SLOW*
@@noeldimaggiojr101 coach was dead ass serious too 😭
My coach told the running back. " If a rented a bus full of dumbasses and only got you I would've got my money's worth. 😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
Ion even kno what this mean it just sounds funny😂😂😂😂😂😂
Damn!
This is how boys became men on the field. Also how we all learned to talk shit
@@Vari___ The RB was a big enough idiot to be considered a "bus full of dumbasses."
I remember coach told us “you can’t sprinkle sugar on shit and call it a brownie” 🤣🤣
😂😂
Lmfao
HS coach told my homeboy “PULL YOUR SKIRT DOWN, QUIT SHOWING YOUR PUSSY, AND HIT SOMEBODY!!!” We all had to run after that because we lost it laughing 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Naaaa this shit fucked uppp
Bates gone be one of them coaches they tell funny stories about lol we need him on hard knocks atleast once lol
*JALEN CAN’T EVEN RESPOND HE SO HIGH HIS RESPONSE TIME SO SLOW*
@@Nothingisonyourscreen facts he stay gone off the pack but what ever he rolled up this time is something serious 😂😂
Our “tree” we had to go run to for punishment or the hell of it, was called “Jamaica” one freshman was dumb enough to ask why it’s called that.. “cuz it makes me feel like I’m in paradise watching ya’ll suffer” 💀😂
coach said”your just a big ass fukkn decoration on my sideline”😂😂
Nah DB you got to him em with the “ if I put ya brain in a bird it would fly backwards!”
That’s some down south shit my grandma told me this many times in my young wild days
@@mobtown2518 I’m from Mississippi so I’ve heard nothing but these sayings since I was 5 and more in sports lol
🤣😭
😂😂😂
My college coach had a million…“You can’t chew gum and run at the same time”…”wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first” 😂😂😂
W coach😂😭
We’ve all heard the first one but the second one is too creative😭
*JALEN CAN’T EVEN RESPOND HE SO HIGH HIS RESPONSE TIME SO SLOW*
@@mileshii
That second one is older than the United States. It was in a book of well-known proverbs and colloquialisms that was written in 1736. It's definitely older than the first one because chewing gum wasn't invented until 1869.
That coach was just repeating something he heard someone else say.
There's even something in Homer's Illiad from 800 B.C. that says; "Wish in one hand, and spit in t'other."
@@mykull666 I was just tryna laugh man, but thanks for the information
🤣🤣🤣funniest I heard a coach say is “you’ll f*** up a wet dream”””
😂😭
Lmfao
Mine told me "you could fuck up a one car funeral"
Bro🤣🤣🤣 I’m throwing hands
"Weaker than puppy piss" was a favorite of my DB coach in HS.
My high school coach use to say if you messed up on a play......" DID THE VAN BRING YOU HERE THIS MORNING" The Vans is what the Special Ed kids rode in to come to school.😂😂
My coach told our QB “he needs hooked on phonics to read the play sheet” cause he stuttered in the huddle 😂😂
"If I pat you on the ass, don't shit in my hand" 😂😂😂😂
My old coach used to say before conditioning “the faster you run, the quicker youll be done!”
"Playin softer than medicated cotton!!" Was my coaches favorite line. 😅
You must be Bobby F-kin Wagner! 😂😂😂 I would've went through a wall for 'Coach B'!!!!
*JALEN CAN’T EVEN RESPOND HE SO HIGH HIS RESPONSE TIME SO SLOW*
"If being wrong was an Olympic sport, you'd finally be good at something"
Jalen had war flashbacks when he said “go get a switch” mans said “Ion like that one” lmaooooo
He must’ve been getting lit up back in the day 😂
It was 02 and i kept messing up a play at practice and everybody was walking back to huddles and I'm at the 50 like "what happened" my coach yells "Where's the gotdamn D.C. sniper when you need him!!!" He told one guy he was moving like a broke dick dog, and my favorite waswhen he called a guy a soup sandwich, dude said "What's a soup sandwich?" and coach sprints from 30 yards away and gets in his face and says "ITS A HOT FUCKING MESS!!!"
Oline coach once told somebody" You look like you run the 40 in about march" 😂😂😂😂😂
“He might fuck some shit up, on accident”
shit had me thinking of Darrell Taylor when he thought Jared Goff still had the ball 4 weeks ago. 😭😂💀
Miss one catch and all of a sudden, "Boy you got hands like feet"
W quote 🤣😭
Our high school linemen coach (served in the marines) #1 “ Y’all move slower than two old people fucking!” #2 Why are you looking at me? Are you queer for my gear?!??” 😂
My freshman coach said on team orientation day my freshman year "some of you are gonna be hammers, some of you are gonna be scalpels, and some of you are pu$$ies who *think* they wanna play football, Freshman football is where we figure that out" That kinda thing flew in 2003 lmao
“if I bought a truck full of dumb***es and all I got was you (enter the number), I would’ve got my damn moneys worth” 😂😂😂. Reminds me of the army lmao. Best quotes ever
Head coach: “you’re pissin in my shoe and tellin me it’s rain”😂
Funniest one I heard, I was the starting RB and coached said dammit Bryant if you don't hit the hole quicker, I swear your gonna be the fastest MFr pulling guard in the state.
🤣😭
😂😂
Lmao
😂😂😂
my Hs basketball coach use to tell us on bad plays that we were “trying to put two pounds of crap in a one pound bag” 😂😂😂
“You out here at 12 o’clock lunch” 😂😂😂” !
They way y'all talking about the coaches makes me remember how my drill sergeants used to talk to us in the Army. Lmao
Thanks for the time you put in bro
drills were mad disrespectful lol.
Real talk, Coaches and Drill Sergeants say a lot of the same s*it!
Bruh real rap
Imagine the marines 😂
Only the mailman walk gentleman 😂😂😂😂
W quote 😂😭
I’d rather hear this kind of talk than some talking heads that never played arguing about who is the goat every week 😂
“You gotta be the dumbest smart som bitch on earth” that was one of my favorites from coach
High school Basketball Coach used to make every substitution in anger. Yell at us mid play then walk down the bench grab a player and say get his ass out the game lol. When we came off the court he'd give us the "son, you embarrassing me in public" look
"Go get a switch" "ion like that one." Shiiiiiidddd, me either JC, me either. #memories 😅
i had a coach in college blow up on the D-line in the film room when they were talking.. he said “y’all in here talkin’, thats why you don’t know what to do on the field.. You got a bunch fools back here, when you add up their IQs dont even get to double digits”.. needless to say my ass end up running too because i bust dafuq out laughing.. til this day that is the funniest shit i done ever heard
Thats the fucked up part. How coaches would hit the best one liners during film sessions and absolutely go off in a dead silent room.
I once made the mistake of laughing while one of my teammates was getting chewed out. My coach turned at me and with a straight face said “What the hell are you laughing about you played so terrible you wouldn’t make a special Ed team.” Needless to say that was the last time I laughed during film study.
"go to the fish market and buy you some guts"
🤣😭
Damn lol
Had a coach who would yell “John Brown” loud as hell on mistakes. We still be saying that shit 😂😂😂
Had a coach say “Son, you got that dunlap disorder. Your stomach done lap over your jeans”
High school coach told us that in the huddle the QB is the only one talking. His exact quote was, “it better be so quiet that the QB can hear a rat piss on cotton!”
W Coach.😂😭
LOL Some of those saying I heard while I was in the Military
My drill instructor from marine corps boot camp when we messed up knowledge “ since we don’t want to be smart marines, we going to be strong marines then. Get out to the pit!”
Any time we had a lil small injury. “You’ll be ok when it stops hurting, get back in there !”
Man ah good one is “son ima be on you like stank on shit, all day today” 😂😂
W quote 🤣😭
“I don’t like that” 😂
Bro I say ”Fuck me running” DAILY
But “THOSE MFS EAT PAINTCHIPS!”
GOT ME WHEEZINN 😂
oh yeah, "f-ck me runnin'" is old school, it's like "i'm running from you and you're still f-cking me!"
“SON OF A BEAN DIP MOTHER FRITO!”
Not a coaching term, but my coach said it so much it’s stuck😂 funny & clean
😂😂😂
This took me back to HS... GO GET ME A LEAF AND IT BETTER BE PRETTY... one Day I got pissed.. I brought back a branch and said pick one MF....
Son last week, you were All American now you're just American
My former high school D-Line Coach had many phrases. His best one was "Let me tell you something son. You're soft son." and tell him to go back to the line for the next play!
I can remember a good handful of things said from boot camp 😅
"Yall are slower, than the MUF*CKIN GALLEY WORKERS!"
Galley employees at Great Lakes Naval Training are all special needs/handicapped to some capacity folks 💀😅
Next day, Chief came back and had a whole mini brief about respecting everyone, both enlisted and civilian, on base 😂😂
Oh shit 😂 💀
So that means somebody snitched because they lil feelings got hurt
When we would do conditioning coach would say
“Do it right do it light do it wrong do it long”
I have heard coaches say "You were a waste of a recruit"
My pop Warner coach would say “diamond formation” and make a shape of a diamond with his hands- thumb tips together and pointer finger tips together…. That was his way of calling us pussies with all the parents watching us practice lol
W coach🤣😭
OLine coach to our 6’7” 320lb tackle that kept getting bull rushed “you’re like an old toothless pitbull”
God bless Coach Locc at fresno state.. "if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass"
I had another coach tell this wideout boy the way u ran that route made my balls itch 😂😂😂😂
Lol my wr coach used to tell one of the guys you cant catch a cold in Siberia lol
🤣😭
"making a block on special teams is like fucking a fat girl if you're there you might as well do it" - I think about that line regularly lol
Bruh Coaches are some of the most disrespectful people God ever created🤣😂🤣😂
I ain't gone say his name but at OU Coach Stoops told my Patna, Son you musta left all your talent in the weight room b/c you look like Tarzan and play like Jane & after that verbal assault I was sure it was about to be a physical one by the look on my patna face coach was 1 mo word away from a 2peice🤣😂
“If I tell you a duck can pull a truck, you better hook his azz up”
“Go get me another stick” is crazyyyy😂😂😂
“That sound like rape” 🤣🤣🤣 DB a foo
Coach told me once that denile isn't just a river in Egypt
High school coach. "we got a game tomorrow. So get your rest. Don't be out late messing around with Mary Jane Rottencrotch."😆 In college Ms. Rottencrotch got married and her name turned to Harkenfuker🤷🏿♂️ 😁 college coach wasn't as funny as he thought.
My coach would always yell “THIS IS A HELL OF A STAND AROUND” if we were scrimmaging and there was .1 seconds in between snaps
I remember taking the ball back against the varsity kickoff on kick return my sophomore year the coach goes your the either the bravest football player i know or the dumbest. 😂
“If you ain’t cheating you ain’t trying” 😂😂😂
“Smoke em if you got em” is military as shit 😂
Our LB coach Billy Drake used to say, " Run your asssss to the ball or get your assssss off the field" but the way he said it was so calm and drawn out until the shit was hilarious if it wasn't you he was talking about.
We had a coach call us a Cheese Liner. To this day I don’t know what that means 🤷🏻♂️😂
*JALEN CAN’T EVEN RESPOND HE SO HIGH HIS RESPONSE TIME SO SLOW*
Cheese liner is thin paper hope you weren't on d line or o line lol
@@llmic23 both! 🤣
Coach used to say "hit it like you're married to it" but had to change it to "hit it like it owe you money" cuz people got mad lol
Junior year of HS our RB coach yelled at the starter “you out here running like a wet bologna sandwich” 😂😂😂😂
Dawg this shit hit home i had Coach Rock at Tennessee DB bro😂😂😂 he used to say if you aint getting blocced , get out the stacc mf you aint ballin!😂😂😂
Love Bates. Praying for him to have this new successful career. I barely watch seahawks. I wish he could come to Bengals.
Nah “fuck me running” and “that sounds like r***😂” lost me lmaoo
We had an o lineman keep messing up a drill and the o line coach kicked him out of the drill and said “your dad should have pulled out and shot on the wall” 😵
Coach one told us “ I’m gonna up down yo ass till your muthafuckin knees bleed” I laughed for 45mins…doing up downs
"Will you just run the fckn play... I done forgot more about football than you'll ever learn" 😂
"We ain't got no time for bitchassness" -Coach Trenton 🤣🤣
Two instances come to mind. Both were towards a teammate and not me. Both were in basketball. RIP to both coaches that said it.
Number one: “Son you playing like someone shot you up with some dope!”
Number two: “I’m a put you so far at the end of the bench. You gon think you in Mexico!”
Coach used to tell some of our players. "Damn son you could mess up a shit sandwich"
You guys are gonna run till I get tired was always a favorite one of mine lol
Coach Young would yell at EVERY player no matter what position
"DRIVE EM, DRIVE EM"
it works for all players lol
I remember plying AAU basketball an our big man wasn’t getting no rebounds when we lost our couch told told him “you played like a punk ass bitch tonight” I was laughing so hard tryna hide it cuz couch was mad ash
Hahaha dam that coach has no chill.
Yo Bates, when I was in college and I made a quick move to get into the backfield and missed the tackle, my coach would be like. You like a blind dog in a meat house!
“Y’all think yall must be good….the cheer team is good they got a championship and yall play like yall got the Pam-pams” lol change my whole outlook at coaches
My coach use to say “They’re handing out hard diiicck n bubblegum & they alllllll outta bubblegum “ 😂 whenever the special teams would give up a big play