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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ม.ค. 2023
- This is my reaction to Prince Harry's new book 'Spare'
Specifically, I discuss his 1) psychological health 2) relationship with the Royal Family, and 3) decision to leave his post.
#Harry #PrinceHarry #Spare
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I really do think you need to address what CPTSD is and why you don't or do think this would apply in this case.
I am only reacting to the book - I am not a Harry expert. But, in the book, I did not think he discussed intrusive thoughts - that’s why, technically, he does not meet the PTSD diagnosis. Regarding the ‘complex’ piece - it doesn’t really matter what the events are - it matters how he receives them. Certainly, Henry has experienced numerous events that could cause trauma. But again - he needs to have intrusive thoughts to meet the criteria.
To be clear, as I mentioned in my video - he is certainly bereaved. I am not minimizing his symptoms.
I am just trying to teach my audience how clinical diagnoses are made.
@@PopPsych Thanks for the reply, I was thinking that might be your answer. I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of questions about PTSD in the comments here. Love your videos and your explanations!
Harry found his true love, he was so over the moon in love at first sight. Meghan was Bridgevilla over the wedding, it would be very difficult for her. So Harry stepped up and announced that whatever she wants she gets. Every woman wants a perfect wedding and she was no different. The sheer size of the wedding was intimidating. North American women get what they want while being a future bride. It was Meghans day, why argue over it?
Complex PTSD is a mental illness in which the person has suffered from either a lifetime of abuse or Ann abundance of trauma. In Harry’s case, having to endure the death of his mother in such a public manner was probably more than a 12 year old CHILD could handle. And then for his father to break in Camilla was a slap in the face. I don’t think he ever got any grief counseling and has had to live with this his entire life. Then the entire family dismisses the woman he loves because of her race. That is another trauma. I do believe him that Willingly was always reminding him that he was going to be king and not Harry. That’s emotional abuse. No one seemed to even care or notice that they left England. Another harsh blow, especially from the Queen who he said he was very close to. Another slap in the face. He is clearly dealt with a lot of emotional pain and suffering in writing this book hope has helped him to get some of that pain out. Because it starts off as pain and as time goes on and nothing changes, it turns into anger and resentment. My mother never wanted me and she let me know it. I was psychologically abused mom y entire childhood. I didn’t know what love was, so when a man said he would take care of me, I married him. The abuse continued, I thought it was normal. I stayed with him for almost 19 years before I got out of there. I’m still being abused by my mother any time she calls, which, thankfully, is not that often. She forgets about me and focuses on my brother who molested me my entire childhood starting at age 3 at least. They all had to protect him, but what about me? Call CPS, that would be my aunt and her boss was my mother. Think that’s going anywhere? So unless you have dealt with the pain and the trauma of death of the only people who love you, so you are now alone, shut up.
@@PopPsych what about when he said he is always thinking of his mother. My father died 20 years ago and when I think of him, I start to cry because he was the one person who loved me. He showed it, Diana showed it, don’t you think he feels a little depressed while he thinks about her at time. Or is he one who can think about the only parent who showed him love and he can just be okay with it?
NO ONE has an identity. We all have to find it. Being the heir to a throne is hyper rare.
I thought my family was “normal” until I grew up and the abuse became more ramped up because they always had control, I let them have it, I loved them, but once I had my own family and life, the dynamic changed. I was no longer under their control and they treated me like crap until one day I snapped and walked away. That’s what Harry experienced. He is grown now and fiercely protecting his wife and kids from the cold of the royals. Totally understood why he sees it now just how dysfunctional his family really always was.
@Glass-happy nana 1115 Just because everyone in the RF treats one another coldly doesn't make it healthy, let alone ideal. Let's not throw the whistle blower under the bus.
@Glass-happy nana 1115 There's always one person who suffers the most emotionally in a dysfunctional family, and that person becomes the whistle blower, the one who can no longer tow the line, who cannot ignore the abuse any longer, the one who brings the abuse out into the light of day. You see privilege in that family. Money and status have no bearing in dysfunction families.
@Glass-happy nana 1115 you sound like your probably the bully in your family! That’s how narcissists do, blame the truth teller for calling out your crap! So cold, no heart, just anger!
@@curiousobserver97 well,said Christina!
I think that this book is written for an American audience. Aristocratic families and probably any family of great wealth and power are not going to look like the typical Mom and Dad asking the grandparents to babysit the kids kind of family. Families who have full time nannies and send their children to boarding schools (no matter how fancy the name or who the children will be rubbing elbows with) are not typically going to have a “huggy” family structure. It’s cultural. And as I believe was said “With great privilege and power comes great responsibility”. I think Harry is playing to a middle class American family.
Well yes, LOL. He even quoted Stan Lee!
IMO, we're only getting one side and it's highly skewed. Harry has struggled for most his life which has played out in crazy news stories. I have little doubt he would have left the royal family eventually. Once he brought Meghan into the family it was like adding fuel to the fire.
When I heard they were getting married I remember thinking how I hope she knows what she's marrying into and she's prepared to walk the line. Unfortunately things started imploding immediately. It's not surprising really. She's not the first person who couldn't handle the royal requirements. Fergie interviewed with Oprah too. She told how she couldn't handle all the traditions and requirements so she left.
What I detest about this couple is their entitlement. They want the financial backing, but not the royal duties.
I applaud William and Kate seeing how Harry has grasped for purpose all his life and decided to change course for their younger children. Instead of raising Charlotte to be a part of the working royals they're guiding her towards a career. Hopefully she grows up more self-assured than her uncle.
No one knows what really happens behind closed doors.
You should watch the Queen and Prince Philip barbecuing and setting out tubs of Tupperware on a picnic for a bunch of grandchildren running around. Phillip was big on barbecuing and playing with the kids.
I think Dianna showered her sons with love and caring to compensate for those things they would not get from the family. She knew very well how they operated and had no qualms on throwing you under the bus in order to survive opinion polls. I have a family that is cold and unloving on one side and it does breed some resentment--you wonder what you did so wrong so as not to earn their love and acceptance. When Dianna was gone. so was that buffer. Harry realized his true situation in a tragic way. If you're sensitive--this type of family will destroy you. And they kind of did. I get why he's putting out his side. After the constant vicious lies being spread, I'd want my pound of flesh. Not the most adjusted response, but understandable.
I live in the UK. You are right about so many things. The royal family have always put duty before anything else. The queen was not an emotional woman. She went on a tour for 6 mths when her son Charles was a young boy. He was greeted with a handshake from his mother the queen when she returned. To show emotion is simply not done. I could write a book myself lol. Just one thing Harry would never be interviewed by Piers Morgan. Piers Hates Megan to the point where he stormed off camera when someone tried to defend her on his morning show.👏👑🇬🇧
I was going to point out the fact that Charles had a cold upbringing. You can't give what you don't have.
Harry must have known from the get-go that he would be brought up and educated differently from his brother by the mere fact that one was the heir and the other the spare. That continues with William's kids.
Yep Piers Morgan is the last person on the planet Harry would interview with. Morgan is beyond disdainful, hateful and insulting about Meghan.
He hugged Harry. And, as for the Queen she did put duty first a lot of the time. But when Diana died she kept the kids in Scotland and got flak from the public because she didn’t come rushing back. She and her family were vilified both she and her husband were ill, because of those two jokers. Ask yourself this, do you think any of this wouid have happened if HMTQ had said ‘yes’ to their demand of half in half out? You wouldn’t have heard a dicky bird. All this was them chucking their toys out of the pram.
The heir and the spare is a lot like the golden child and the scapegoated. The scapegoated is treated differently, but grows up knowing no better, so of course we love those that treat us less than. Then when things ramp up as we mature and grow, gain independence out of their grip, we start to step back and look at just how lopsided and dysfunctional it all was and realize we deserve to be treated better and so does OUR family. It’s part of maturing and evolving, nothing stays the same. If it’s broken, try to fix it, but with controllers use to having it their way, there is no “fixing it” instead they rage and rebel against you wanting to be apart of something healthy. Then they turn all against you and you the victim become the villain for standing in truth. In narcissistic families the truth tellers always get smeared with demonic lies and power. that’s what Harry is enduring.
This is so true….. I’ve experienced the same thing, I think that’s why I have such empathy for Harry 💕
I don't necessarily agree with you that Harry was scapegoated by his family. He was scapegoated by the diabolical British popular press. He was neglected by his family. Finding a warmer wife & getting some geographical distance between him & the family makes sense to me.
In one of your last videos you pointed out that Harry had a staffer help him with his career options. I was telling one of my kids about this and they pointed out that this is what I did. Their mother along with people in our family chiming in. That is what parents are for. I wouldn't consider Harry privileged in this respect at all. Of course, going to boarding school and not having ordinary family dinners would make it hard to do that kind of parenting. The scary thing is, compared to Queen Elizabeth's parenting, Charles was like a toasty fire. Apparently, unlike his mother, Charles was determined to be home to tuck the boys in every night. I bet you wouldn't want your kids to marry into that family!
Love this comment!
Almost any therapist would agree that abuse thrives and festers in secret. Harry is shedding light on the neglect and lack of (off camera) familial nurturing that is pervasive in his family. The RF acts more like a system, a business. If a business has something fundamentally wrong, there is a whistle blower. The family cannot act hurt or surprised after decades of acting like an uncaring business.
I think you have made some good points but it’s a one sided story which a lot of it is being dismissed as fiction
I think that Harry must get all of this out of his system so that he can move past it and find his way in life. He has lived a lifetime where he wasn't allowed to have a voice against the lies written about him, and about his mother, in the press. He is overcompensating because of all the pent up anger from being forced to be silent for so long. I think the attacks on his wife, and the monarchy's usual stance on the news fodder, have filled him with so much rage that he can't help but go overboard. Especially if the monarchy is behind the leaks attacking his wife, as that betrayal has to have caused him so much pain and anger that he just has to hurt them back as much as possible.
And I do believe him about the monarchy leaking the information themselves. I've thought that for years. Long before William and Harry were born. How has there been so many leaks over the years, yet nothing has been done to stop it? Do they not have contracts that prevents their employees from talking? I also think that Charles was planning on kicking Harry out of the main group of royals. He has stated many times that once he was king he would slim down the monarchy. I think Harry realized he would be cut, and decided to leave before the Queen died to try and get on his feet before Charles became king.
I never cared about the monarchy before Princess Diana. And when Diana passed away, I then cared about the boys as they were growing up. Once the boys were adults, I lost interest in the monarchy again. Until Meghan Markle. She is why I started following the monarchy once again. The monarchy's treatment of Princess Diana, and now of Meghan Markle, is why I side with Harry and Meghan. I have never cared for the monarchy, and never will.
A family with such a strict pecking order and high expectations couldn’t be anything but dysfunctional, in my opinion.
I agree...You mean Im suppose to live my life for my older sibling? That is some bullshit if you ask me. You basically have a child from birth being told they are special and that is a problem. I think that is why Queen Elizabeth wasnt a problem, because she didnt grow up knowing she was going to be queen, it just happened to her so that made her not such a pain in the ass.
True, but a skilled parent can help. If it were me, I would make it clear that in the family, all the kids are equally important. The job (inheritance of a role) should be kept separate as much as possible. But yeah, I get it, that will be hard to do. We'll see what happens with William and Catherine's kids, but I would guess they'll be able to create a healthier family atmosphere.
If we’re living in a perfect world then Harry’s frustrations would have been answered. I think we can be resilient and flexible, why don’t you try that first to get along with the majority around us.
I think it's very easy for any of us to pigeonhole him into certain boxes depending on our own bias to certain issues and situations. I don't think ANYONE, can possibly understand how it feels to be HIM, to have lived what he has gone through emotionally & physically. I would suggest every Phycologist could have differing opinions about someone they have never actually met or spoken to in a professional setting, just like we are all sitting on the sidelines judging him, judging his wife and the entire Royal family at large. A blind man can see what has happened to this man from the time he was born and it is my belief and will always be my belief that the SITUATIONS he has been in, by birth, by situation or by accident, his upbringing wouldn't have been good for anyone! You only have to look at his father, the late Queen etc......cold as fish to their offspring. The Royals are messed up emotionally in the UK. It's sad and whether it was because of centuries of inbreeding or manipulation of relationships, they try to come off as "a normal family" and they are ANYTHING BUT! The UK media has always crucified anyone in the public eye especially the royal family and I'm so happy that he has turned the tables on them for how they treated his mother, his wife and the entire family. Best thing he could ever have done was get out of there!
THANK YOU! 100% AGREE! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Long time royal family watcher. His depiction of King Charles is more positive than it has ever been in the media. It's very difficult to diagnose someone who wore a tracking device and had an armed body guard his whole life. The paparazzi hunt all celebs like a pack of hyenas. How would anyone deal with knowing they were snapping photos of her body in the car? In this family Philip walked three steps behind the Queen their entire marriage. One of the saddest things for me was reading that they sat down to breakfast with the tabloids on the table. Being royal is dehumanizing.
People never seem to consider this.
Agreed 100%!! The sheer weirdness of how this “family” demands control over parts of his person/life, yet doesn’t prepare him w/any advice or tools to be successful. It’s the opposite of a family, b/c he was treated like an understudy his whole life. He was given expectations, but no clue how to get to them at all. He was raised by freaking wolves.
It really makes you wonder, doesn't it? Having all that junk ironed & fanned out before you first thing in the morning, then telling your teenaged sons "Just ignore it. We don't respond to all the lies & nonsense."
I think he transferred those thoughts onto his wife and how could he ever avoid the media? The book doesn’t help but leaving the Royal’s he felt he wasn’t being protected emotionally and that triggered him about his mother and when his wife was experiencing this especially, wife Racist bodily threats of murder, nothing was said. Royals didn’t respond. She was left also, abandoned and he wasn’t going to let happen to his wife, what happened to his mother at any cost.
What do you think the difference is between William and Harry? William seemed to be able to grow up in the same family and with the same experiences, yet he is thriving. Is it simply the label of Spare for Harry?
You assume William is thriving. William is fully caught in all it means to be in the royal family, especially being heir to the throne. Harry has a freedom to speak William will never have. I fully think there was a time when William felt and believed everything Harry did/does but there came a point, probably as he approached getting married, when the duty of being the heir became very real and had to be completely bought in to and that's where he and Harry diverged :/
William, I believe, was three years older when they were forced to walk behind their mother's coffin. Those three years are huge in being able to deal with that kind of trauma. Harry talks about how they always looked like great friends when they were in public even though their relationship was nothing like that. No one knows how William really feels about his life because he knows he can't change it. Now poor George knows he will be king some day. Such a huge burden for a young child.
@@joanklein960 Honestly I'd be amazed if the monarchy was still around by the time George would be king.
@@joanklein960My grandsons are three years apart and in photos and at times, they look like they get along great. Not really true. They fight much of the time with the older one always trying to correct the younger one even when he’s not wrong. It drives me crazy. I’m sure that the princes were together in their grief, but, as you said, Harry is 3 years younger, which makes a huge difference, especially when he was only super special to his mother. On the other hand, William was a boy as well and not up to being the nurturing adult who Harry needed in his life.
Youre unfamiliar w the golden child and scapegoat arent you
Dad never took him on bike rides. Pictures of them riding bikes together. Dad never hugged him. Pictures of him being hugged by his Dad. Told that the Queen Mother had passed away by staff at Eton. He was, in fact, on holiday with his father and brother at the time. The Oprah interview was full of lies. If you’re taking all at face value to illustrate a hypothetical point, fair enough. If you’re judging a family based on someone’s complaints because they didn’t get the half in, half our deal that they wanted, it would be a mistake.
Just bc he was w his father n brother doesn't mean he was told by them ..pics don't show day to day that's how he felt doesn't mean his dad never hugged him or took him on a bike ride
@@kellietaylor9913 The Queen Mother was 101. Her death was front page news but a shock to no one..... not telling Harry was never an option.
Besides there was no reason to keep this from him.
I was young and living in a nearby country when everything happened between Lady Diana and Charles: he publicly (the tapped phonetapes where the news of that time)said he wanted to be a tampax to be closer to (then only mistress) Camilla, while still married to Diana...and so much more humiliation publicly for his beloved mum, long time before paparazzi caused her deadly accident in Paris. I imagine lot if resentment of Harry towards his dad and gramdmother specifically for how they treated his mum.
I disagree with you on your point with doing the Opra interview. Because the British Media is somehow on another level. I feel like every media interaktion they choose to do they are in controle of whats happening, which is understandably because paparazzi and press do not seek the truth just the next clickbait or moneycrab. I grew up in europe, I was a child when Diana died but I remember always seeying these negative headlines about her, and what she ist doing, and it always confused me. And then she died and I was confused why everybody was sad because before her death it seemed like everybody hated her. I really dont understand why there is so much hate around them, it scares me.
I saw your video about Britney Spears and her book pop up on my YT home page, and after watching you respond to her book, I KNEW I was interested in hearing your thoughts about Prince Harry’s book, “Spare”.
YESSSS !!! You did and here it is!
I am SO stoked you did a reaction video on his book - I am eager to hear (read) whether or not we had the same views/reactions/thoughts about it!
Starting to watch your video now :)
Harry mentioned in several interviews that every word in his book is from him and only him.
I think he means the thoughts and opinions. There was a ghost writer.
Thank you for seeing the obvious in his change of life. People glob onto “he was happy in other interviews” yatta yatta. He matured and grew up, what he thought the family was vs what he realized once he had a family….two very different perceptions, because it’s out of the fog and into reality!
I love your content, my only complaint is that they are too short. Ever consider doing longer format on TH-cam and saving shorter videos for TikTok and Facebook?
I think a lot of times you don’t realize how dysfunctional your family is as a child because you don’t know any better and you kind of repress/forget your trauma but when you are older, away from the situation, and see that most people live differently, it starts to make you rethink things. Then when you have your own children and you are doing your best to give them the childhood you didn’t have, it wears on you that you didn’t have the same. It’s especially hard when the family members that treated you the worst “remember it differently” I feel for Harry. I really do. And I am impressed that he had the strength to leave that situation behind and move to California and put his own family first, something none of his other family does. I am rooting for him and Meghan.
😅😅😅😅😅
True difference in Grief which is life long, it if dealt with in a healthy way evolves and changes over time.
I think many people think PTSD is what they have vs complicated grief. Just my observation as a hospice nurse the last 11 years.
I think you hit the nail on the head!! Happy finally has a purpose other than the dejected Spare which was what the Royal family made of him. His role s of caregiver, father, husband- those are of utmost importance to him!!
That fits...I see his fervor to defend his wife and children as his passionate expression of this.
Until Megan leaves him
I have a question: what do you think about the reaction from Harry about the infamous South Park episode doing the parody of the world wide privacy tour?
That was an interesting point re Harry's propensity to define who he is via whatever activity he is immersing himself in. It possibly sheds some light on how he could call his book "Spare" which seems to be putting on blast the role that was placed upon him in his family, yet also say that his children have a "birthright" to the Prince and Princess titles. It seemed he's lamenting and very angry about what being the "spare" meant for his life. While also insisting his children have birthrights to titles. By insisting on the titles, I thought he was missing the point that he's acknowledging Prince William's birthrights within this family, as the heir to the throne and his own as the spare. But both being the unhappy spare, AND being entitled to his own birthrights for his family, are both just parts of an identity that he immerses himself in. As discordant as those two aspects of identity seem to be.
Love your take on Harry and I agree with you
I think you analyze this just right. There is no side to take in this. He told his story and I hope he finds the peace he is looking for with his beautiful wife and kids. Harry deserves the loving family he has created.
Angela Levin is a respected author, she wrote a biography of Harry ‘ Harry:A biography of a prince in 2018. She spent almost 18 months interviewing and travelling with Harry before writing the book.
Prince Harry Told Biographer It Was Prince William Who ‘Saved’ Him and Convinced Him to Go to Therapy, Not Meghan. Angela Levin also spoke about how the Duke of Sussex is saying something different than what he has stated in the past about why he entered therapy.
During an appearance on Good Morning Britain, Levin recalled the conversation she had with Harry when she asked him: “Are you going (to therapy)
because Meghan suggested it?” To which the prince responded: “Absolutely not, she had nothing to do with it, it was William. He was the one who saved me.” Thinking back now Levin added: “Either he told me something that was not true or he’s saying something not true now.”
Angela Leven
William is a very caring brother, he was very worried about him and recommended he seek some professional help. William is the only other person who can understand what Harry went through with the loss of their mother. I think people forget sometimes that William also lost his Mum at a young age.
This.
Well said
I don’t care. I’ll believe Harry speaking on his own life. I’m not believing a lady that profits from writing wtf she wants to about him. The RF is completely dysfunctional & the opposite of an actual family. Yes, you should hug your kids, talk to them, & be the reliable/consistent person that supports your kids always. Call him a liar if you want, but every person has the right to tell their own story…. He’s an actual person that isn’t committing a crime. He’s done no worse than his mother or father, before & after their divorce.
@@reginalatson79 Treating killing 25 human beings like they are nothing but chess pieces is a war crime, and brings major security threats, not to mention major disrespect to everyone in his mission and their families...
@@jolene6607 He didn’t treat soldiers or war, as anything… You don’t like the language he used, say that. My Dad & Grandfather were Veterans, they spoke much more gutturally about “killing the enemy”… Harry didn’t invent “soldier mindset or talk”, it’s been around forever.
Are the Invictus Games an insult or disrespect to his fellow veterans too? Seriously calm down w/your judgement.
Thank you so much for that insightful interpretation. Your take makes me much more sympathetic to Prince Harry. I couldn't get past the first episode of the documentary, but I see so much media commentary, and got a very bad impression of him and couldn't bare to read his book. Now I understand how he got to the breaking point with the situation and why he seems so angry.
Im a kiwi and a bit distant from it all. I can see all of his points. The royal family have always been about duty and the british press have been diabolical and intrusive. Even here in NZ articles were always putting Kate in a good light and Megan in a bad one. So many British friends hate Megan and Harry for trashing the family and portraying themselves as victims. I dont think all of the comments by Harry about his family have helped, but as he put it he was saying it himself rather than leaking it via a source. I hope they can all let things settle down now and just be happy.
Why didn't they go quietly to South Africa away from the press. Do good work but not have the press around live off the grid.
Lol peirce Morgan hates meghan
I wonder also if he did a interview with Oprah because she is black and that’s been a big problem with his marriage and his family
Oooh! I'm excited about your reaction! I just finished this audio book and even though I'm not a royals fan I found it VERY interesting! (Aside from the "Harry at war" part. That was meh for me.)
Ok, will report back after the video! :)
Spot on I can't imagine living as a child or young adult feeling like my purpose is only to stand in the winds as a possible understudy. I grew up with a wonderful grandmother who always loved & supported me I wish his experience had been the same. She didn't always approve of my actions or speech but I definitely knew that didn't effect her belief & love for me. I think his experiences deserve to be validated as each of the characters in the play deserve. Their reality is unique to them & until the group can accept that no breakthrough is possible.
None of his family/upbringing explains their near-constant lying, nor his glum face when with his wife and his happy grins whenever he's away from her though. The random person (at the award show before their "near-catastrophic car chase in NYC) who yelled at her "how does it feel to be in two broken families?" hit the nail on the head. If he'd hit his early 20s and realized that his family was toxic and cut them off, fine, a LOT of us have done that. But he was almost 40 when he got married to someone who joined him in praising his family. Then their staff turnover skyrocketed and even Harry admitted that their staff were bent over their desks sobbing from the stress of working for him and his wife. Strange that he'd never had a problem with his staff before he married, and none of the other members of the royal family have turnover anywhere near that high. It's almost like he married a narcissist and it has ruined his life.
That's ridiculous. Plenty of people go no contact after 40, because they are more stable and have now a family of their own.
I appreciate what you do and look forward to your content, but on this one I wish you would have looked at it less biased. It would be helpful if you addressed that the book is only one side of the story and challenged his arguments more. A counter argument would have been appreciated. I also would be interested in your thoughts about the parallels he draws from his mum to his wife. It seems like he sought a self-fulfilling prophecy to counter the past. I feel so badly for him. However, there is no consideration of his family either. He doesn't look at them as whole people just thr image he jas given them. He didn't address Williams response to his mother's passing and how that has shaped their current interactions. He blames the institution and the family without taking any responsibility for his own role. He seems like he is stunted emotionally. I think he should have taken his time and let years pass before writing a book... he just doesn't have a lot of perspective yet. It's a sad story all around
Not sure I agree with the concept of Bars VS speaking etc....big difference of going into a bar and self medicating and getting up and delivering a speech. Even interviewing is different then appearing in person.
So based on that definition, I have PTSD from my entire childhood 😬
He didn't mourn though. He wouldn't allow it. Isn't that intrusive? Also William wanted to talk about their mom and Harry was unable to. His vendetta with the media and going thru years and years of court hearing to punish the meida is his blame for them killing his mother.
I listened to his book. I think you should never be a therapist for anyone with PTSD. He sounds very much like me, and I have Complex PTSD.
I thought the same thing. I was diagnosed with ptsd and are trigged in so many ways. Years later I still have flashbacks but now I’m on meds and doing better.
Same here!
I’m confused why he’s being called prince still if he decided to leave and also it’s interesting that Megan would join a family with such a dark history especially cause she has black in her. I do understand you can’t control who you love but marrying that person can be controlled.
I find validity with your view. However, if so, isnt this marriage and his acts anotger extension. If so, how does one ever know their identity
Thank you I like your comments. It seems like Harry isn’t as mature as you’d expect from a 38 year old. I think he acts more like someone in their early 20s (Admittedly I’m no expert, just a mother of 5 kids in their 30s now) Thoughts!?
Harry has a "cold family" according to Harry. He didn't always feel that way about them, look at old interviews. He became truly distant from his family once Meghan systematically started to isolate and alienate him from his family. Listen to his old interviews.
His interviews pre-Meg show his issues with the insitution & the British media. He’s had time to grow, and been able to watch how much his family is willing to offer he and his wife up as sacrifices - which would sour anyone on their family. Its clear he had issue w/his fam before Meg, but didn’t feel able to take action or speak on it. People are allowed to evolve and get healthy, like he is doing.
I don't understand why everyone is blaming meghan for everything. No one is perfect but she doesn't strike me as the manipulator she is made out to be.
@@Pjanny100 it's racism and xenophobia... The common British citizens can be very anti American.
You know, I didn’t see all the issues with my extended family until I married my husband. I couldn’t see them because it was all I knew. Just because Meghan came into the picture doesn’t mean it’s all her fault.
Exactly, she manipulated him in not marrying her, she has his kids so he won’t want to leave but why would he want to leave bc Meghan has him wrapped around her finger.
As a mom it broke my heart him being so alone and sent away. I just wanted to gather him up and hug him and never let him go. And I think his dad deserves everything that Harry wrote about him. The Royal Family are all Genociders, I really wonder how he will face his children and answer how his family is responsible for the Genocide of their people....
I loved the book…and your channel
I would like to hear more on your perception of it all. I, like yourself didn't know much about them. I think its facinating how peoole want to shame him for what he beleives is his truth. The royals put out what they want us to beleive is their life. They both should be able to share their truthes. Im interested in hearing your perspective as a trained individual that does not have to pick sides.
He is alone watching his father parading around with the other woman and he has to be happy about it. Poor Harry alone triggered 24/7
Which brother was the envious one growing up? Did Harry say it was William?
The envy probably went back and forth between them...
When Prince William was born, he was the spare as the now King Charles was the heir. It was Diana, Princess of Wales who called Harry the spare 🤷🏻♀️
There’s plenty of footage of the royals being family when they’re off-duty.
To be fair Oprah lives in his neighborhood and probably was easier… also Pierce Morgan is weirdly obsessed with Meghan.
He didn’t believe she was really dead for such a long time.
Would you not consider him not being able to remember his mom well, until he went to therapy, him avoiding it? Does it not count if he’s not actually actively choosing to avoid it?
I felt like you could really feel the love for his dad in the book. Yes, not everything was pretty, but it’s his story. It’s not like he was telling stories that weren’t his to tell.
Him putting everything out there for everyone, to me feels like he would be less sought after. He’s gotten ahead of it??
I don't understand why Harry revenge from this family with this book. Actually why he say " I love my father and brother" but his actions says something diferent
Love sometimes is calling people out on their bullshit.
The differences between duty making up the majority of your identity and how you relate to others because the weight of a thousand of years of history resting on your shoulders and the needs of an individual who wants a functioning family but has no idea how to go about getting that and in the process likely has deeply damaged the relationships he wanted. Add a thanksgiving dinner and you have my family at the holidays.
"Recollections may vary" read this book with a skeptical mind frame....not all Harry states is necessarily reality...it may yes be his reality from his point of view but not necessarily fact
Did she really have a hysterectomy about 5-6 years before they met.if so where did the babies come from
Sometimes when youre being abused from all sides, exploited etc and safety is on the line your only de3fense is offense. British tabloids are notoriously awful. Im glad Haz is out, and I believe the blame lies on the adults in the lives of H and W when they were children. Now its on them. Will is a documented bully, Charles too.
William and Harry (and Catherine) often looked so happy together in pics… for years. Hard to hear how unhappy Harry was when he seemed so happy in many of these pics. Unfortunately he doesn’t seem to look very happy lately… 😞
They are called The Institution for a reason. I can't honestly call them a family.
You should analyze Darcey and Stacey 😂
Diana loved the paparazzi. She courted them and told them where she was going to be. Harry is in denial about the cause of his mother’s death. The paparazzi were not the cause of her death. Their actions at the accident site were inexcusable but Diana chose to get into a car that was driven by someone 4 times the legal alcohol limit.
The royal family was extremely happy about Harry marrying Meghan and welcomed her with open arms. It was only when her behavior was proven to be abusive and her actions self-serving did they pull away. Harry and Meghan are cut from the same cloth - everything is the fault of someone else. They are always the victims.
Was he really drunk?
@@sweetpea22000 Yes. There is no drama or conspiracy. Young people die every day. People get into cars with drunk drivers every day. Sometimes the two things happen at the same time. Shit happens.
@@1019lms Did I hit a nerve, everyone understands things happen. I understand young people die every day, my cousin died at the hands of a drunk driver. But, Princess Diana's death was not handled correctly. There were too many unexplained factors. In the hotel video footage of the driver before the accident, he appears sober even bending down to tie both shoes. No, one was allowed to retest any of the samples, two witness heard a strange noise once the vehicle entered the tunnel and they say it sounded like the car going into neutral and the engine being gunned. The drive had a high level of carbon monoxide per the autopsic. Why? What about the white vehicle that was supposedly driven by the paparazzi photographer that after committed "suicide" by setting himself on fire. Why did it take England years to open of inquest into her death then it is the law and should be held as soon as practicable? Or that two of the players and contracted for MI6? Or, that Princess Diana said she was going to be killed in a car accident? We will never know what really happened that night.
I love the way you are not afraid to discuss issues. I must say Queen Elizabeth was Queen. You don’t discuss these things with children. The royal family was a whole lot different than other families. England and stiff upper lip!
Exactly! And as he so clearly demonstrated, when someone on the inside gets a bee in their bonnet they decide to leak personal details of the monarchy...why would she have put herself at risk of that just for him not to feel more insecure?!
He does make a comment in the book that his mother over mothered at times and was absent for long periods. Only negative comment that he made about his mother that I remember. Isn't that connected to anxious ambivalent attachment? So perhaps it wasn't just his father's behavior that affected him in a negative way?
What I view is Harry focusing on just the negative aspects of his life. There are ample pictures that display signs of affection from his Dad. When his mom passed the Queen went MIA in order to focus on William and Harry grieving so much so the media called her out for not making a public statement. Realize your analysis is solely based on Harry’s view although may be distorted. IMO
You're viewing his experience through you're own experiences, we all are
@@SchmeesCrotchFruit - Agree, although makes one wonder why some dwell on the negative and others don’t. Guess that’s why we are all different!
Panic attacks are fear by association. The trigger is what ever you’re most afraid of, or very insecure.
wrong
Am I the only one that sees the total switch in his behavior might have a lot to do with all the weed he’s smoking and the anti-anxiety meds he’s taking?
2:17 I don’t get why you and other don’t differentiate between the media that a person choose to cooperate with to promote a book or a cause, and being followed around by the paparazzis? The first type of media you choose the time, place and the topics. The second part is intrusive and does not seem to respect boundaries and privacy.
I think because choosing to put so many (conflicting) stories out there makes all the media & bloggers & paparazzi interested in you again perpetuating the very thing he said he didn’t want. I don’t think he did not want paparazzi attention, I think he wanted what he perceives as positive paparazzi (and all media) attention.
@@LeahSessions Is there such a thing?
I disagree. His grandmother always appeared to be fond of him and until he began being really aggressive, they did many things together. He and Prince William used to do things together. Most of the drama appears to be from and around Harry.
Death of his mother “could be an event”. He has described that every time he hears a camera flashlight he is overwhelmed and it makes him fear for his wife. You should never treat anyone with PTSD
I think you're looking at this from a typical world view. I'm not sure you understand the priority that is placed on tradition in the UK. As a British citizen I view some of your points as culturally limited. You'd have to live here to understand how and why the "institution" takes precedence over all. In addition, this is a high society that we simply cannot understand having not lived in it. There is a different reality is this elite world and perhaps most of his struggle comes from trying to straddle two worlds and while he is apparently happier in the world he has chosen, his roots are always there. He has left the royal family but can't leave it alone, that is not an indication imo of a happy, peaceful person.
Harry has always been spoilt and overindulged. He was the spare? He doesnt have the mental or emotional capacities for leadership. His own mother even said how worried she was because he was jealous of William since they were kids. He is also jealous of his brother because of the relationship he had with Diana, she made William her confidante. A young man havinv to listen to his mothers marital and relationship problems whilst she is an emotonal wreck. Harry was spared from that. He was also spared from his life being predetermined. He could have done anything he wanted. Some of these commenters were probably absent when harry spent most of his twenties drinking and partying all over the world. Not to mention the las vegas scandal. So if he had freedom to party and be wild - he had freedom to carve the life he wanted- his cousins have all done that. The other problem is that Harry isnt bright - he wasnt academic , so in his class what are you to do if you cant fulfil a professional or white collar job? He has no skills acquired. His best bet was to stay in the family and do humanitarian work, whilst getting paid. He and Megan as mirrors of each other- she too has no great acting talent so what will they fall back on? Two adults that expect the family to support them?
I really think you need take Harry's narrative with a grain of salt. He has too often been caught lying.
Reading Harry's book is not a good example of what has happened with Harry or a good example of what living with his family necessarily was like, although I'm sure it was not perfect. Harry has constantly contradicted himself, and Meghan has slowly isolated him from anyone he ever loved or that loved him.
The royal family has had multiple generations of difficult childhoods. There is an interesting documentary on youtube about Queen Victorias grandson Charles Edward, Duke of Saxe-Coberg, whose father died before he was born in 1884, and when he was 16, in 1900, his grandmother, over the objections of his widowed mama, forced him to go to Coberg and become a German Duke. He didn't want to go, his uncle selected a wife for him, and then he was pretty much forced to participate in the German military which put him in opposition to the UK and he was a traitor and couldn't go home. So he ended up joining the Nazis & his name has been mud ever since.
Or consider the refusal of George V to allow his cousin Czar Nicholas to take refuge in the UK. The royals are not nice to each other. Never have been.
Interesting about the Colberg prince. Yeah, George V's decision to refuse his family's request for asylum has always bothered me (I have yet to read anything that indicates George was more troubled by it than I, you would hope I'm just not well read). Bad enough to say no when first asked but once they were "exiled", how could anyone assume it wasn't going to end the way it did? The British government did nothing. Of course what do you expect from imperialists and people who value appearances-over-sentiment?
Finally….a kind and caring word for Harry❣️Thank you!
I liked Harry and thought he seemed like an affable guy and that he appeared to be sincere when he was playing with or around children. I never knew what to make of Meghan. When she poked fun at having to curtsy and the formality of the Royals, I was embarrassed for her and thought it was shocking when she said that. Harry looked upset. She just always comes across as so pretentious in interviews that I am not sure if I read her very well. I wanted to like her but she just seems so put on that I can't believe her.
It would have been a bigger shit show in England. They hold The Royal Family for Hundred’s of years to an even Higher standard!
I really think Harry has a lot of contradictions. He distances himself from the royal family but wants the benefits of security and royal titles, his explanations in the book place him as the victim, but he does not accept any mistake on his part, and there is a narcissistic aspect to the things he says, he complains about the paparazzi but does the same...
In Britain there is a law that the paparazzi can’t stalk the royals and have to be a certain amount of steps away. The law was passed after Diana’s death. If Harry wanted to keep his family safe he should have stayed in Britain.
Imo, you need to study more on this situation. You are missing so much in the two videos you have done. Just an observation.
I don't think it's any different from being a middle child, or 3rd or 4th. Harry says he was the closest to the Queen. I don't understand how your saying he never had anyone. His family welcomed Meghan with open arms. It was only when she started abusing staff that they had a problem.
I agree with almost all you say apart from the comment about the Oprah interview. He had to do this outside of the UK as the media there is complicit and very biased…he doesn’t trust them.
I lived in the UK. It's not. He's being dramatic. Meg it the one who wanted the interview as it was 'hers' & Hary showed up for a small bit. She did it for fame.
He was never told no, diana died and poor harry..... they gave him everything he was allowed to get away with poor pity me. Drank drugs and went to the bottom, never studied. William was told no he would be king, he couldn't do drugs with Harry as he said he thought would of brought them closer. Diana wanted and did raise them the same, the Queen mother and the older royals said not to do this. It is royalty there is rank. He should of adjusted much earlier. Once meetings took place about the Dutchy and the money and really becoming king. Which Harry was told no you are not in these discussions. You see the real divide. Till that point it was not cemented in his mind as it should of been in years of practice. That is why the children of the heirs are treated differently from the others. Now you see why. Harry should of been taught of supporting royal not told Good king Harry by Diana really messed with his head. Imo, from what I have witnessed watching and said all along. You could see it coming. Meghan was a surprise though
The ghostwriter apparently quit part-way tho. He liked some tweets suggesting so. And the 'flowery' writing is the same style Megan used on. her blog the tig. Thus the stuff like 'Kate didn't want to lend Mag her lipgloss!"
What about the “William had the bigger room” living in a palace…it’s ok, everybody suffers but c’mon dude, you need therapy. Your privilege goes beyond borders.
He wrote a whole book and that is the one thing you took from it?
Have u pondered maybe meghan deserved whatever treatment she got? You sound like someone newly into them that doesnt know about a lot of how they spin stories and some of the unhinged things theyve done.
Have you seen now where harry says tue RF was never racist and acts like he doesnt even know what anyone is talking about?
Harry & Meg are the people/couple that say "I don't like drama" but they are the drama
Everyone is looking for negative about Harry like saying he had a ghost writer FOR the book…who cares!!! EVERYONE is talking about that, it’s petty.
William was a child too, stop blaming his brother they both suffered!! JS
I think it would be terrible to grow up knowing that you were conceived only as a backup to your brother. I'm sure the royal family is not a warm and cuddly place to grow up. It's very difficult for me to understand why behind closed doors her grandchildren weren't allowed to hug the queen. That's going too far, but that was undoubtedly how she was raised. But I don't understand is the reason for writing the book. He isn't going to change the British monarchy. All the nastiness in the book, Netflix, and the Oprah interview just weren't necessary. They wanted to leave the royal family, and I don't blame them for wanting that, but they went about it all wrong. They thought they could dictate the terms, and that was never going to work. They could have worked together with the Queen, but they chose not to. Either way, leave the family, go and have your own private life, and be happy with your choice. Most people could live comfortably on the amount of money Harry has. He needs to adjust his standards, as I believe does Meghan. Then they wouldn't have to be doing all this nonsense to make money.
We only know what goes on behind closed doors because Harry says so. How do you know he is saying anything that is the truth? Look at pictures of them on vacation together. Look at how Prince Williams kids are with their grandfather . You will see a different story.
Thank you for the fair and level headed look at Prince Harry. I think he is an amazing person who has worked tirelessly on self-improvement and isn’t afraid to tell it like it is!
How do we know that Harry was never shown affection by his royal side of the family. Just because we see the formal side on the outside of the 4 walls doesn't mean it's the same inside them. I've seen many a photo of the royal family in different groups with true smiles on their faces. I for one don't believe Harry's book is all fact and truths.
I disagree with your comments with regard to PTSD from his mum's death. He mirrored mine when he becomes so big your brain just switches off the memory of that person I think that's the worst form of torture because you don't really get to grieve and it's always there.