One of the biggest obstacles I've learned as a step dad of a 13 year old is based around hygiene. His bio-dad couldn't' care less about the parental aspects of being a "dad." I've stepped up and have been with him since he was 8. Anyway, he refuses to wear deodorant or wash his face. He ends up smelling bad and his acne is...prominent. I don't want to shame him at all. However, explaining to him the importance of good hygiene seems to fall on deaf ears. I've explained to him that becoming a man means a lot more maintenance than he's used to and requires a bit of upkeep to avoid being smelly and greasy. Little things like brushing his teeth, washing his face, and wearing deodorant are small and important steps. But he still will avoid these things like they're a chore. Any advice. Also, thank you for the videos. You've been so helpful in my journey as a (step) dad. I found out I have a little one (a first for me) on the way and have been consuming your advice on that front too.
First, he is totally normal. So many boys at that age are the same. This typically evolves as his friends become more important and he starts caring about how he looks. You may consider getting a book and reading it together. It may then be coming from someone else instead of you but you still get to share in the experience.
If younger children ask about adolescence and the facts of life, there are two beautiful books by Mick and Brita Manning called Where did I begin and How Will I Grow. They use proper scientific terms for all of the organs and activities. They are great tools especially for same sex parents who are fielding questions about the opposite sex.
My son is gay and 16. He's super hyper Sexualized and over focused on penises and balls. My dad owned a Gay night club so I don't care he's gay. He's so Hyper focused on sex its really bad. He don't live with me and was abused in foster care in Idaho. Idaho did nothing at all and his adopted family never hugged him or showed him affection. So he's lashing out getting older men's attention now. Idk what to do besides just give him the advice he needs and not concentrate on this Hyper sexual world. I didn't know he was alive till he was two and already in cps custody in Idaho and Idaho is a terrible place. They literally have no one that over sees the cps dept of Idaho at all.
It's normal for conservative parents to shy away from having these discussions, and even in 'liberal' families a parent may only want to answer questions of things that they have experienced first hand (specific to their gender). If a couple has a son and daughter, it puts both parents in a position to educate, because each child will most likely want (or be encouraged) to go to the parent of their gender to ask about gender-specific questions about puberty. That being said, I think both parents should have basic knowledge of human sexual development in order to be able to talk to either child (at an appropriate age and time) about something general. But should you wait for the child to ask?
6:20 I get your point, but that example is odd/very weird. Why on planet Earth would your child (not a baby anymore) be in the bathroom at the same time you are? How about just locking the door for privacy? Thats general social etiquette.
That is an opinion. Your labeling that as social etiquette when not everyone feels the same way. Levels and comfort of privacy span a very wide range. How old are your children?
Public bathrooms for men in most of the world is a row of not very private urinals. It takes effort to not see another man's genitals when you walk into a men's room. Society says peeing in front of people is only weird if you make it weird.
My Mom did not give the heterosexual sex talk . Mom never did give me thr bisexual talk. Mom did not let me know that there were transvestite people. Mom didn't talk to me about people who are intersexual. Lastly, I learned that my Mom was HOMOPHONIC. I lived every day as a proud HOMOSEXUAL i could getaway with🏳️🌈🇨🇦
I was never educated in any way whatsoever. For a long time I thought there was something seriously wrong with me.
One of the biggest obstacles I've learned as a step dad of a 13 year old is based around hygiene. His bio-dad couldn't' care less about the parental aspects of being a "dad." I've stepped up and have been with him since he was 8. Anyway, he refuses to wear deodorant or wash his face. He ends up smelling bad and his acne is...prominent. I don't want to shame him at all. However, explaining to him the importance of good hygiene seems to fall on deaf ears. I've explained to him that becoming a man means a lot more maintenance than he's used to and requires a bit of upkeep to avoid being smelly and greasy. Little things like brushing his teeth, washing his face, and wearing deodorant are small and important steps. But he still will avoid these things like they're a chore. Any advice.
Also, thank you for the videos. You've been so helpful in my journey as a (step) dad. I found out I have a little one (a first for me) on the way and have been consuming your advice on that front too.
First, he is totally normal. So many boys at that age are the same. This typically evolves as his friends become more important and he starts caring about how he looks. You may consider getting a book and reading it together. It may then be coming from someone else instead of you but you still get to share in the experience.
@@DadUniversity Thanks so much, Jason. I appreciate it. Keep the great advice coming! It seriously helps!
If younger children ask about adolescence and the facts of life, there are two beautiful books by Mick and Brita Manning called Where did I begin and How Will I Grow. They use proper scientific terms for all of the organs and activities. They are great tools especially for same sex parents who are fielding questions about the opposite sex.
How early should we start it? My brother is 12 years and I haven't done it
Qu 😅😅 0:52
Yes
which books on puberty would you recommend?
My son is gay and 16. He's super hyper Sexualized and over focused on penises and balls. My dad owned a Gay night club so I don't care he's gay. He's so Hyper focused on sex its really bad. He don't live with me and was abused in foster care in Idaho. Idaho did nothing at all and his adopted family never hugged him or showed him affection. So he's lashing out getting older men's attention now. Idk what to do besides just give him the advice he needs and not concentrate on this Hyper sexual world. I didn't know he was alive till he was two and already in cps custody in Idaho and Idaho is a terrible place. They literally have no one that over sees the cps dept of Idaho at all.
Do you have the opportunity to be a parent to him? Being there for support, love, time, etc?
It's normal for conservative parents to shy away from having these discussions, and even in 'liberal' families a parent may only want to answer questions of things that they have experienced first hand (specific to their gender). If a couple has a son and daughter, it puts both parents in a position to educate, because each child will most likely want (or be encouraged) to go to the parent of their gender to ask about gender-specific questions about puberty. That being said, I think both parents should have basic knowledge of human sexual development in order to be able to talk to either child (at an appropriate age and time) about something general. But should you wait for the child to ask?
No, do not wait.
6:20 I get your point, but that example is odd/very weird. Why on planet Earth would your child (not a baby anymore) be in the bathroom at the same time you are? How about just locking the door for privacy? Thats general social etiquette.
That is an opinion. Your labeling that as social etiquette when not everyone feels the same way. Levels and comfort of privacy span a very wide range. How old are your children?
@@DadUniversity A child (13+) should definitely know social etiquette about privacy
Public bathrooms for men in most of the world is a row of not very private urinals. It takes effort to not see another man's genitals when you walk into a men's room. Society says peeing in front of people is only weird if you make it weird.
Changing rooms after sports/gym/swimming?
My Mom did not give the heterosexual sex talk . Mom never did give me thr bisexual talk. Mom did not let me know that there were transvestite people. Mom didn't talk to me about people who are intersexual.
Lastly, I learned that my Mom was HOMOPHONIC.
I lived every day as a proud HOMOSEXUAL i could getaway with🏳️🌈🇨🇦
And people wonder why therapist are a joke. Yhis craps funny as hell !
I am a here as a mom with twin 9 year olds. So yeah not a dad. Thank you is what I have to say. Helpful. Again not a dad. Lol still helpful though