💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.
As a kid emotions got people hurt or killed. Showing love for something would be used against you. Showing ager would be used against you. Always stay calm and in control. No emotions were helpful in that time. I used to tell my therapist I just wanted to be treated as a human when the sad part is I wasn't even looking at myself as a human. I'm able to cry now but still trying to teach myself how to breathe without holding my breath. Letting myself feel is still new and uncomfortable but it is helpful. Thank You Tim.
But you only think you can’t feel it. The pain can be locked away but it waits…sometimes a long time before it returns to haunt you. You must face it to shed that pain.
Grew up being told I had to harden up and handle the bs! Learned how to just survive through life, became emotionally numb from an early age…. Coasted through things and was told I’d never amount to anything important. Been trying to cope, and through therapy am working on acknowledging my feelings
There are so many people who grew up being told to 'deal with it' and be tough. Being strong is important, but acknowledging how you feel is also an indicator of strength. It sounds like you've done some great work so far.
Be compassionate to yourself. Allow yourself to feel but be kind to yourself as well. I'm learning to re-parent myself. Addressing myself with loving kindness.
Being groomed as a child by a narcissistic parent you want to please unconsciously trained me to put myself away. Becoming aware that I was “allowed” to actually feel and not turn all my concerns (emotions) to focus on what others demand is still a big step for me. I now stop and consciously consider what is going on in situations. It was uncomfortable at first, but now I no longer need approval to feel what is mine to feel.
This is so timely. I just recently became aware of this within myself, and have been going through a grieving process, allowing myself to feel EVERYTHING I have been running from, and hiding from for years. It's so challenging to allow myself to just cry, and weep, without judging myself for it. I have to consciously shut down the negative voices of my past that creep up, mocking and belittling me for being overly sensitive or "throwing myself a pity party", and just sit with it and let it out. No more self harming to escape. It's been very healing.
Bingo, Jack!!! Growing up, my mother told me that kids don't have emotions. Kids don't have feelings. Kids don't have rights. Basically kids are just robots that do what parents, teachers, and other grown-ups tell them to do without question. Kids don't need appreciation. Kids don't need to be apologized to if somebody does something to them. Kids aren't suppose to think, they are just suppose to do.
Wow, what a denial of your very existence. How incredible that you were able to survive all that and now be able to voice it. You are alive! You are a real boy!
hi Tim thanks 4 all yr teachings. bless you. my childhood was very traumatic + i wish i could say my marriage was better. i am busy healing, however i am becoming whole, praise God Almighty.
Thanks for your help and blessings for sharing light on the darkness in hurting people. The Holy Spirit helped me so much on my path. You awake and help so many who are looking and seeking truth for healing. Let our light shine to help others. Hang in there family and be good to yourself 😊
What do I do with this after I've identified this is what I do? I repress and sit too much in my emotions. It is troubling. I think I feel too much but I don't want to address the emotional feelings
Everyone has a different way of confronting how they feel, but many find that journaling or automatic writing is a healthy way to let things flow and explore. Finding a person you can talk openly with and trust is also a good way to go, but starting on your own can be easier if you're not used to sharing.
@victoryamartin9773 I'm trying to get to a point where I can afford to stop blocking emotions, but the majority of the information out there seems to be "this is a bad thing" with no explanation of how to stop or what to replace it with. It gets frustrating to look for help and get a dozen different versions of "that problem you have is a problem, you should probably fix it."
Thank you Tim, I think I am in the process of feeling all of the repressed feelings. It can be quite overwhelming. I just realised while watching that I do actually expect people to find me 'unworthy' and I fully imagine that they are slowly realising that I'm hopeless and soon they'll leave me. It is where RSD comes from? I think. (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) How do you re-program that mess of feelings? sigh.
I can so relate to what you said. Don't give up and trust in the Lord as he will direct your path. That's what I am trying to do. But... last night my lab stole my rib eye steak sitting on the counter waiting to go on the grill. He ate the whole thing in just seconds. At first I quietly sent him for a time out. But later that night he came over to me and I pushed him away and sent him out of the room in an unexpected rage that came out of me. Then I cried and asked for forgiveness. The anger is always just at the surface. But we can't give up. I think the more we realize what is happening, the more can start to control it. The shame is the worst part of it as it lingers for quite some time. Even this morning I haven't as much as looked at my dog, and my guilt is overwhelming. Stay strong
I'd rather be a robot any time than be an emotional wreck. Emotions made things worse always. Man up and move on is the best advice i got. In the end, nobody cares
@victoryamartin9773 doc got some good points, but it's super idealistic. For me, emotions will not make you rich, powerful, or respected. If you want something, you have to be ruthless in these times. Why bother with emotions when you got God and the gym on your side. No body cares in the end. Move on.
@@lonesome273 The why comes down to a few things: They are still in your subconscious negatively affecting your behavior when you suppress them and they can even cause physical illness in these cases. Also, because you cannot ENJOY whatever success you manage to gain while suppressing them because the capacity for enjoyment is shut down at worst and turned way down at best. And God cannot be on your side when you are shutting down your emotions because HE created them in you, his image-bearer which means you are literally denying a part of God's image and also not living in truth (and the only one who advocates living in a lie is Satan). That, and being ruthless just ensures you hurt the next generation, too and then it's on them to break a cycle you could have broken yourself if you applied your strength in the right place. Also, the gym is not likely to be on your side as long as it could be either if you repress and suppress stuff because you are more likely to either weaken your immune system and therefore your body befire its time or end up with an addiction that will ultimately weaken your body befoee its time (you may indeed still train and be strong for a time, but that time would be longer and possibly strength greater as well if you did deal with your stuff).
💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.
As a kid emotions got people hurt or killed. Showing love for something would be used against you. Showing ager would be used against you. Always stay calm and in control. No emotions were helpful in that time. I used to tell my therapist I just wanted to be treated as a human when the sad part is I wasn't even looking at myself as a human. I'm able to cry now but still trying to teach myself how to breathe without holding my breath. Letting myself feel is still new and uncomfortable but it is helpful.
Thank You Tim.
Keep showing yourself and your inner child the love that you need now, today.
Can't heal what you can't feel
@@albertskoczylas2233 Love that
😢
But you only think you can’t feel it.
The pain can be locked away but it waits…sometimes a long time before it returns to haunt you. You must face it to shed that pain.
Profound words
@@edsal26true! It will erupt if suppressed. It needs to be released. You are human. Think about rage and aggression. Big boys don't cry bs.
Grew up being told I had to harden up and handle the bs! Learned how to just survive through life, became emotionally numb from an early age…. Coasted through things and was told I’d never amount to anything important. Been trying to cope, and through therapy am working on acknowledging my feelings
There are so many people who grew up being told to 'deal with it' and be tough. Being strong is important, but acknowledging how you feel is also an indicator of strength. It sounds like you've done some great work so far.
Be compassionate to yourself. Allow yourself to feel but be kind to yourself as well. I'm learning to re-parent myself. Addressing myself with loving kindness.
Being groomed as a child by a narcissistic parent you want to please unconsciously trained me to put myself away. Becoming aware that I was “allowed” to actually feel and not turn all my concerns (emotions) to focus on what others demand is still a big step for me. I now stop and consciously consider what is going on in situations. It was uncomfortable at first, but now I no longer need approval to feel what is mine to feel.
This is so timely. I just recently became aware of this within myself, and have been going through a grieving process, allowing myself to feel EVERYTHING I have been running from, and hiding from for years. It's so challenging to allow myself to just cry, and weep, without judging myself for it. I have to consciously shut down the negative voices of my past that creep up, mocking and belittling me for being overly sensitive or "throwing myself a pity party", and just sit with it and let it out. No more self harming to escape. It's been very healing.
Bingo, Jack!!! Growing up, my mother told me that kids don't have emotions. Kids don't have feelings. Kids don't have rights. Basically kids are just robots that do what parents, teachers, and other grown-ups tell them to do without question. Kids don't need appreciation. Kids don't need to be apologized to if somebody does something to them. Kids aren't suppose to think, they are just suppose to do.
Wow, what a denial of your very existence. How incredible that you were able to survive all that and now be able to voice it. You are alive! You are a real boy!
@@ScottBecker-c1k 😥
'Children should be seen and not heard' was a regular in our house. I never felt 'seen' even. I can relate mate. We have permission to feel now.
TY. And my smile shows it. 😊😢 I will overcome 😊
Blessings from Sweden 🇸🇪
hi Tim
thanks 4 all yr teachings. bless you. my childhood was very traumatic + i wish i could say my marriage was better. i am busy healing, however i am becoming whole, praise God Almighty.
Thank you...
Thank you, Tim. You're a remarkable man. I dont know you but you just explained my entire life😢
Thank you
This was my dad.. then he opened up later.. he was like a waterfall of emotions once the floodgates opened.. I had no idea how traumatized he was.
hardening their heart and causing hardening of their arteries and causing high blood pressure, leading to heart attack and stroke.
Thanks for your help and blessings for sharing light on the darkness in hurting people. The Holy Spirit helped me so much on my path. You awake and help so many who are looking and seeking truth for healing. Let our light shine to help others. Hang in there family and be good to yourself 😊
I did that with alcohol drugs & sex when I was younger
Couldn’t cry for a long time until I went to therapy when I was late 30’s
Such great information Thank You!!🙏💕✝️
🤷♂️
I just feel like giving up on everything
I am praying for you 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 do not give up !!!
Me 2 I want to be dead
Life is useless
Love doesn’t exist
What do I do with this after I've identified this is what I do? I repress and sit too much in my emotions. It is troubling. I think I feel too much but I don't want to address the emotional feelings
Everyone has a different way of confronting how they feel, but many find that journaling or automatic writing is a healthy way to let things flow and explore. Finding a person you can talk openly with and trust is also a good way to go, but starting on your own can be easier if you're not used to sharing.
I used to get shouted at don't talk don't comment when I was hurt as a child
Yes, but there needs to be a viable alternative. Explaining the downsides of a coping strategy doesn't remove the need for it.
True, but the hope is that you will grow and individuate to a point where you won't need it anymore.
@victoryamartin9773 I'm trying to get to a point where I can afford to stop blocking emotions, but the majority of the information out there seems to be "this is a bad thing" with no explanation of how to stop or what to replace it with. It gets frustrating to look for help and get a dozen different versions of "that problem you have is a problem, you should probably fix it."
Thank you Tim, I think I am in the process of feeling all of the repressed feelings. It can be quite overwhelming. I just realised while watching that I do actually expect people to find me 'unworthy' and I fully imagine that they are slowly realising that I'm hopeless and soon they'll leave me. It is where RSD comes from? I think. (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) How do you re-program that mess of feelings? sigh.
I can so relate to what you said. Don't give up and trust in the Lord as he will direct your path. That's what I am trying to do. But... last night my lab stole my rib eye steak sitting on the counter waiting to go on the grill. He ate the whole thing in just seconds. At first I quietly sent him for a time out. But later that night he came over to me and I pushed him away and sent him out of the room in an unexpected rage that came out of me. Then I cried and asked for forgiveness. The anger is always just at the surface. But we can't give up. I think the more we realize what is happening, the more can start to control it. The shame is the worst part of it as it lingers for quite some time. Even this morning I haven't as much as looked at my dog, and my guilt is overwhelming. Stay strong
I'd rather be a robot any time than be an emotional wreck.
Emotions made things worse always. Man up and move on is the best advice i got. In the end, nobody cares
@@lonesome273 Sorry, but a real man is in touch with his feelings
You bought the lie. We all did.
@victoryamartin9773 doc got some good points, but it's super idealistic. For me, emotions will not make you rich, powerful, or respected. If you want something, you have to be ruthless in these times.
Why bother with emotions when you got God and the gym on your side.
No body cares in the end. Move on.
@@lonesome273 The why comes down to a few things: They are still in your subconscious negatively affecting your behavior when you suppress them and they can even cause physical illness in these cases. Also, because you cannot ENJOY whatever success you manage to gain while suppressing them because the capacity for enjoyment is shut down at worst and turned way down at best.
And God cannot be on your side when you are shutting down your emotions because HE created them in you, his image-bearer which means you are literally denying a part of God's image and also not living in truth (and the only one who advocates living in a lie is Satan). That, and being ruthless just ensures you hurt the next generation, too and then it's on them to break a cycle you could have broken yourself if you applied your strength in the right place.
Also, the gym is not likely to be on your side as long as it could be either if you repress and suppress stuff because you are more likely to either weaken your immune system and therefore your body befire its time or end up with an addiction that will ultimately weaken your body befoee its time (you may indeed still train and be strong for a time, but that time would be longer and possibly strength greater as well if you did deal with your stuff).
Yup
My ex boyfriend totally
Stuffs down emotions with alcohol
Yup