You and your son have so much joy and contentment together, being a parent is sooooo worthwhile xxx This is the first video of yours that I have seen, watched to the end x
I just came across your channel for the first time. My heart goes out to you and your precious baby. I am happy you have a great support system. Look forward to seeing you on the other side of this.
The same thing happened to a few of my best friends. I could never live with someone that didn’t want our baby. Take a deep breath and move forward with your life
I'm sorry your husband turned out to be a cruel, selfish child. I know it's awful now, but in the long run it might be a blessing that he showed his colors now, before the baby could have a chance to form strong feelings for him that could be hurt or expectations that could be broken. I'm glad that you have a supportive family, and I hope you can find a healing, happy new situation very soon.
Sister I was married 17 years one day it was over, 11 years later my life is beautiful it was the best blessing. What we think we need may not be what are path holds…. Trust in the father he had you🙏🏻
You know what love, you will so get through this. You are probably feeling so lost right now, but trust me, you WILL get through this, come out the other side, and be better for it. You are so young, you and your precious child have a long and happy life ahead of you. I know, I've been through it xxx
You happened to be in my feed today. Just subscribe and I am going to go through your play list...but I am not going to mute them. I can't even imagine. You have a good therapist...listen to her/him. You'll make it through. Big hug!
Sometimes these things are a blessing in disguise. I was married 25 years when my husband decided he didn’t want any “responsibility”. My life after him, liberated me and made me a better person. Stay strong and lean on God (if you know Him). Things WILL get better. Blessings ❤
Kaye, Sorry to hear about your recent troubles. I wish the best for you and your family. I first watched your videos years ago for advice on poetry. Its surreal to have seen your journey through videos to this point. Here's a wish for better tomorrows for you and the kiddo.
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. This year has been difficult for me too, but I don't have a kid to take care of, so I can only imagine. If it helps, you are a fantastic poet, and a great parent!
This video came up in my feed and I'll watch all the way through and subscribe. Be strong and patient and do your best and you'll be so happy it turns out.
Hi, Kaye! You just popped up on my feed. You seem like such a kind and intelligent person. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Becoming a new mom and then being treated so poorly by your husband is terrible. It is not any failure on your part. Sometimes, in a relationship one person grows and another dies not. You are a loving mother and your son will always know that. You will get through this and I am sure that a year from now, you will be happy and living a better life and Kai will be thriving. Sending you and your son prayers and hugs and well wishes. Oh, and your hair looks great!! The pixie is the in thing this fall! ❤️❤️
First time seeing you! I’ve been where you’re at-it’s sad and ALL the feels (and with a little one😢) so easy to feel alone in it, BUT you have a close support system-make sure to reach out and not isolate because that will be your saving grace. God bless you and your little one♥️
Hey Kaye, I just came across your video for the first time. I am a new subscriber. I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I am sending you thoughts and prayers 🙏🙏 Stay strong, your son needs his mom.❤❤
Live near your family, that support system will be invaluable. My daughter just went through this with 3 small children and lives a thousand miles away but can’t leave because of ex. I truly wish he had just left their lives with his new girlfriend and my daughter and grandchildren could be near her family.
Oh no! That sounds like such a difficult situation. The one thing that's been good about this awful divorce is that he doesn't want any custody at all so that's been easy enough to sort out for me. I hope your daughter has really good friends nearby to help her since she's so far away!
I am so so sorry. I am no expert, but I work for a family attorney and my #1 recommendation to anyone going through something like this is that you get a therapist. I'm glad you are doing that! I am so sorry again.
This is the first introduction to you and I'm glad I landed here. Not sure what the references were to the election, but really appreciated your sharing of what you have garnered from therapy thus far. Such a good choice to have gotten right into therapy. Trust in yourself. Love your baby. Though others may need to hate on your husband for his behavior, you don' t have to. You can, of course, but it's okay to love him as you leave him. Your child shares half his genes. Too bad he's not ready for parenting. You're going to be a wonderful mom! (Ordered your books and look forward to spending time with them and giving as gifts.)
sending you all the love and strength to you. glad your baby is doing great and your family is supportive. watching you love on your baby is so sweet. hoping for all the lights in the dark times for you!! 🕯
Kaye, you mentioned a poetry book? Can you tell us a little bit more about it and how to purchase it. You are a sweet thing and now a new mother…have faith in yourself, your worth and your future…love and hugs.
I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through. Divorce is not fun! I love hearing babies talk. I hear you, watch time is the hardest part of TH-cam. I’m separated after 29 years of marriage. Financially I can only help by watching your videos to the end. Not on mute, just low volume. ❤❤ That’s a good idea with the children’s book to help him understand. I’m here for you. Hopefully we can be friends ❤
I just found your channel and I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time, I can relate when I had my baby her father didn't want to be a dad lucky for me I had a supportive family too. I found out that it was best not to have her father in our lives because it's not good for the baby. You are an amazing mom with a precious baby boy . Hugs
People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Lean on your family, get a good lawyer, be very protective over your son. It is easier to rent if you don't have pets, you have to be tough right now but you can get through this. Any treasures you have get them out and to a trusted friend. I went thru this, i got the kids and my grandma's silver. I knew over time i could replace everything else i left behind. Finally keep your you tube channel. There is potential for it to payoff. It could be a good second job. Jamerrill Stewart supports her nine kids off TH-cam.
I hope things workout I will watch all your videos hope it helps just remember things usually work out for the best it’s hard now but it will get easier and you have a beautiful baby to pour all your love into
First let me say I'm so sorry this is happening to you! My heart goes out to you! As a divorced father of two great sons I will never understand any man who abandons his wife and child! I can't think of a more selfish cruel act! He will never know the love and joy children bring into your life. Like others have said, it's better that your baby is young and won't form an attachment to this loser of a man-child. You will get through this no matter how much you're scared and hurting. Lean on family and friends for support. Also whether he likes it or not he's financially responsible for supporting your child so don't let him off the hook in that regard! I'll pray that God watches over you and your baby and uplifts and strengthens you and comforts you during this difficult time! Hugs!
God bless you, Kaye. Please be encouraged that all this trauma will eventually work for your advantage and you are being blessed for doing the right thing and enduring what is absolutely outside your control. Take courage, God has this.... He will not let you fall, He does have a plan for your life--- far beyond what you can ever imagine! Get close to God, stay there, pray a lot, and wait for God to do what He does best - - love and take care of His own. You absolutely will be better than OK, please trust God to take care of you as you travel along a painful, unknown path. You are on a journey of magnanimous proportion. Trust, there is a grand life ahead for you and your son. Keep a journal, you will be able to look back and see where your were being carried when you haven't the energy or direction, have no discernment of how, where, or when this situation will be resolved. Unfortunately, you will have to feel the pain for a while. There will be tears, but you will heal and not only heal, but eventually find true happiness. Hold on, keep the faith... God loves you and know there are prayers going up on the behalf of you and your son. Take comfort in knowing there indeed is a merciful, gracious, kind power watching over you.
P.S. Kaye, you need to be encouraged that there are many, many new friends out there who have you in prayer and will be praying for you and supporting you every step of the way - - so many friends you never realized you had. Lean on your family, lean on your friends, lean on God. You will get though this and be a better, stronger person for the journey.
Kaye, so very sorry to hear of this. Sounds like he really doesn’t deserve the title of dad. On another note so many decent men would adore having you and being a real dad. I think in the end it may be better while the baby is young and you don’t have to explain. Stay strong and cling to that beautiful baby God blessed you with. Get a good lawyer and stand your ground financially…….please. God bless you.
1:20 in... and already so sorry for you. It angers me that guys that "get together" with someone doesn't want to be a dad. Does no one have any foresight anymore? I am so sorry for your situation.
Honestly if I look back there are signs I could see now, but at the time it never even occurred to me, especially while I was pregnant. But I had a lot of memory problems during pregnancy so even if things seemed wrong I couldn't have reliably addressed them. :(
@ Then, dear girl, you have your answer. Thank the dear Lord that you can be done with person. Hug your beautiful baby and your beautiful self and don’t look back. God has a plan for you. Watch it unfold. BTW don’t be a sap. Get a good attorney and make him pay. Stay strong.
Girl. Get off social media until your divorce is over. Do not provide ammunition that your spouse might use against you. 1-INTERVIEW atty's. Don't settle. Get a really strong one that will help you and your child long term. 2-Create a plan and a plan B.
Oh Kaye - I know nothing anyone can say will make this any easier but as a long-time viewer my heart is with you. You seem like such a wonderful person and no doubt an incredible mama. All my love to you. It will be OK. ❤
Oh, I love babies! Being a dad can be tough on a man who feels like a core part of his identity will be lost (especially if that core part was yet to be realized) now that the obligations of paternity are taking up even more of his time and energy. I don't know that this what's going on with your guy, but it's the gist of what I've seen and heard from other dads who leave because they "don't want to be a dad." What they're really saying is, "I wouldn't mind being a dad if I could only also be this other thing too." And, like I said, usually that other thing isn't actually a thing they are. It's an aspiration, and because of that, they feel that now they'll never reach it. So they leave (and unless they're an exceptional individual, they won't become the thing they wish to be anyway). Obviously, this isn't advice. Just an observation on why a men may run from parenthood. From his perspective, leaving is self-preservation. Usually it's the case that had he actually already been able to achieve or embody whatever it is he thinks he'll lose now that he's a father, he'd see that the child will not redirect the journey of his dreams, rather a child will enrich the path. I say this because I'm a fulltime dad. Yes, I adjust and readjust my schedule so I can also write a few hours almost every day, but the adjustments are time management, not identity. Identity is why I manage my time. If such men would already embody their ideal self, already be in active and happy pursual of their dreams, then they wouldn't make such selfish decisions. Or perhaps if they weren't so selfish, they'd see their child and say, "I wish my my offspring to see me in a certain way, to see me accomplished in my goals," and use that as a catalyst to either begin the journey toward their dreams or to manage their time more wisely. I'm sorry for so many words. Brevity eludes me today. Just know that everything will end up great for you and your baby. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm pulling up your 71 video playlist while I go take care of and play with my daughter. Cheers!
Thank you! Yes, I have been self publishing them. It's a bit more difficult to get in with a legit and helpful small press that doesn't screw you over than you'd think, but I'll probably head more toward that route for my next collection.
I don't know what your husband is going through, and I don't know your history together as I just came across this channel. What I will say is this. He is going to regret this decision for the rest of his life. My ex bailed. A few years later he came back, apologized, blew a bunch of smoke up our daughters behind, made some promises, broke them all. Gone again, different state. On marriage number 4 now. Family and children are precious gifts. But you have to do a whole lot of work, effort, love, time, time, time, Children teach us how to love someone more than ourselves. His relationship will us damaged if he abandons his child. My heart goes out to you for having to do it on your own, it's hard, but I wouldn't trade my memories for anything. And today the relationship we have is amazing. Because I was there. Every single day. I was the parent. Now she is 30 and thanks me all the time and tells me how much she appreciates the childhood I gave her. I busted my ass. She was worth it, and I'd do it 100x's over.
How incredibly selfish and thoughtless he is. He probably is jealous of the baby and the time it takes away from him. You will be fine. You don't need 2 babies right now.
There's someone else out there who will love you. One day this will be over and your life will be wonderful and filled with mommy memories 😊 As you go thru this, you will learn and you will grow. For now, just embrace the suck.
Hear me young lady, nobody who's supposed to be with you can walk away from you. They don't "leave" so much as they are sent. Because there's something higher than you who has heard conversations that you haven't, and seen activities that you didn't. Pain and suffering have been sent away from your and I know that sounds like a bunch of crap but one you'll look back and you'll see. Not just this but all the people you thought would be there and weren't, it was good they went their own way. It also makes room for people who are supposed to be there, to be there. You'll be fine. This is an important time in your baby's life. Maximize his potential in terms of secure attachment. You can do this...
Most men never grow up. Don’t want to take responsibility for anything. They just want a mommy they can sleep with. It’s not your fault. Better off without him. Stay strong n God bless
He still has responsibility for the baby. Sorry you’re going through this. My husband’s daughter was in the same situation. She had a baby and a year later the father moved out. 🤷♀️ She prospered subsequently got remarried a few years later. Not a fan of this hairstyle 🫢
I'm sorry divorce is a bad thing I've been through it Raised 2 on my own while working a full-time job Just remember the world will turn and you will get through this 🙏 for you
I’m sorry you’re having to go through this! Why do they just think they have a choice about being a father? I have a friend whose husband did the same thing. They had 5 or 6 biological kids and then they adopted 2 handicapped kids. One of the boys just had a double lung transplant when the husband left and said he couldn’t do it anymore (be a father). I will pray for you, God has a plan! BTW, your hair is adorable! ❤️🙏
Focus on you and baby and develop the idea to move forward alone, land work, set up babysitting, and a support system so you child can get day care while you work, it does work out ,trust me I know.
Hello Kaye I'm really sorry to hear that you and your beautiful baby have been abandoned in such a selfish way It grieves me that we have produced so many lazy thoughtless self centered alpha males in the last few decades Future dads have a full nine months to mentally prepare themselves for parenthood and I know that it isn't easy but that's no excuse My life collapsed in a similar way some years ago and it was pure anger that got me out of bed every morning for the next five years !!!! Anger can be an energy for good so don't be afraid to use it I never thought my life could be good but now it is and I have a brilliant son who I love more than life itself It may feel that your world has come to an end but things will improve and one day........ I wouldn't worry too much about the blue hair turning grey - it's kinda cool !
Please listen to what he’s telling you. He doesn’t want to be a Dad, end of story. Get out fast. Your child and I do mean YOUR child should not ever know that kind of rejection. Count your blessings and make him pay!!! It will be the best decision you ever made. God plants us where we bloom; but we have to pull the weeds and this loser is a weed. Place your trust in God, this will all work out. By the way think about this for a minute… he wants his cat but not his child???? Run!
You should watch my other video. XD That's not anything that actually happens. Cats aren't only safe around babies, they're typically great around them! My cats will still live with us, just Korra is my husband's cat so she won't be coming with me unfortunately.
🤷♀️Wait please, I don't understand something-- Previous video you said your husband was actually building a crib during your pregnancy. I assume he CHOSE to build a crib, an "extra" endeavor that indicates enthusiasm about the baby. Yet after THAT, NOW your husband wants to be TOTALLY un-involved in his son's life? He's not willing to co-parent (with the divorce)?? I suggest you tell him that since he had time to build a crib, he can NOW carve out time to see a therapist (1st research to find a GOOD, EFFECTIVE therapist) to figure out how to become "ready" to be a dad to his son. If your husband has some belief that he's not ready/cut out to be some idealized/unrealistic version of what a dad "should" be, then a good therapist (AND you his wife?) could help him adjust his expectations (of himself as a "should be" dad) into realistic and do-able self-expectations of being a dad that he COULD live with. Your son needs to know his actual dad, who's flawed but trying his best-- not some perfect/idealized dad (which doesn't exist for any family, anyway). TH-cam has many adult content creators who describe feeling incomplete due to having NO relationship with their biological dad: SOME kind of relationship with one's biological dad is almost always better than NO relationsip. I agree with commenters here who advise you to pursue child support from your husband, regardless-- If he decides to permanently leave you, his consequence is that he must step up to his financial responsibility of child support (which might cost him more money than if he'd stay & just be the best dad he's capable of being). Sincere Best Wishes & Prayers🙏🙏for you, your son and your husband.
Oh I completely agree. We were constantly making plans for our future with our baby and this came out of nowhere to me. I tried talking through and counseling and giving space and yet by then he had already filed for divorce. :( But he wants no contact so I guess that's the way it's going to be.
My husband left me when I cut my hair off. He told me it looked ugly and the thought of making live to me looking like that made him sick. I grew my hair back out and colored it back to normal. Guess who came crawling back 2 years later? Yuppers. Him. Just take one guess what I told him. 😂
My husband encouraged me to cut my hair and said he liked it even though I didn't at the time. xD I shaved it all off because it was hot and I was going through ppd. Now it's great because the baby has started grabbing things and can't pull my hair. Hair grows back so I'm not too worried about it. Leaving you over your haircut is ridiculous! I hope you slammed the door in his face! XD
Please listen to what he’s telling you. He doesn’t want to be a Dad, end of story. Get out fast. Your child and I do mean YOUR child should not ever know that kind of rejection. Count your blessings and make him pay!!! It will be the best decision you ever made. God plants us where we bloom; but we have to pull the weeds and this loser is a weed. Place your trust in God, this will all work out.
No clue how this video showed up in my feed, and I've never heard of you before (no offense), but if I may: this kind of loss, especially a bomb like "I'm not ready to be a father" two months after your baby was born is tough to take. I am listening to this video as I type and just learned that the family will split. I am hoping some remedy can be found. Forcing things to be "okay", especially when things can still be healed and grown from will only lead to wounds that will carry over into future relationships - been married and divorced four times and have lost four children. Your husband, not your husband's cat will be your biggest loss in the years to come. Things won't be okay without healing and healing does not happen once the bond is finally severed for real. I'd advocate for supporting you by encouraging you to fight to keep your marriage and family intact.
Unfortunately I tried keeping the family together and this is where we're at. I don't think I could trust him again and he has no interest in staying together any longer.
@KayeSpivey Understood. The home and family I had with my ex was destroyed by her own hands because she was "tired of being a wife" and didn't want to become a "baby factory" (about six months after the birth of our second child). Sad to see, and not the best outcome, but when someone just wants to burn everything down on their way out the door, precious little will change their minds unless they have a change of heart.
Your video appeared and it resonated quite a bit. I am so sorry you're having to go through this grief, especially with a new baby. My daughter just went through a divorce and what your counselor told you about expectations from others rings so true for her. She's shed a lot of tears, but is moving on with her life and feels freedom in not walking on eggshells. Fortunately, there were no children and she kept the house. We were grateful that the divorce went through faster than we thought it would. I am glad you have family support, as it's essential. Best wishes to you! My daughter learned to just take it one day at a time.
You don’t realize this now, but this is a blessing for you. That’s going to open up a ton of new opportunities over the course of your life that you would not have had if you were with your husband. I know I’m just some random person, but trust me, I’ve been right about a lot and you’re gonna be more than just OK, after a rough time you’re going to soar 🫂
You and your son have so much joy and contentment together, being a parent is sooooo worthwhile xxx This is the first video of yours that I have seen, watched to the end x
Please listen to what he’s telling you. He doesn’t want to be a Dad, end of story. Get out fast. Your child and I do mean YOUR child should not ever know that kind of rejection. Count your blessings and make him pay!!! It will be the best decision you ever made. God plants us where we bloom; but we have to pull the weeds and this loser is a weed. Place your trust in God, this will all work out. By the way think about this for a minute… he wants his cat but not his child???? Run!
The second he says he doesn’t want to be a dad, turn around and never look back, respect your child.
You and your son have so much joy and contentment together, being a parent is sooooo worthwhile xxx
This is the first video of yours that I have seen, watched to the end x
A man that can walk away from his son is not worth having! Consider yourself lucky💜💜💜💜💜
I just came across your channel for the first time. My heart goes out to you and your precious baby. I am happy you have a great support system. Look forward to seeing you on the other side of this.
The same thing happened to a few of my best friends. I could never live with someone that didn’t want our baby. Take a deep breath and move forward with your life
I get the feeling this is a blessing in disguise for you. Stay strong during this difficult season.
Thank you
Stay strong. Being a mother is the best thing in life
Thank you. I love being a mom. I wouldn't trade that for anything!
I'm sorry your husband turned out to be a cruel, selfish child. I know it's awful now, but in the long run it might be a blessing that he showed his colors now, before the baby could have a chance to form strong feelings for him that could be hurt or expectations that could be broken. I'm glad that you have a supportive family, and I hope you can find a healing, happy new situation very soon.
Sister I was married 17 years one day it was over, 11 years later my life is beautiful it was the best blessing. What we think we need may not be what are path holds…. Trust in the father he had you🙏🏻
You know what love, you will so get through this. You are probably feeling so lost right now, but trust me, you WILL get through this, come out the other side, and be better for it. You are so young, you and your precious child have a long and happy life ahead of you. I know, I've been through it xxx
♥️ love the idea of you writing a children’s book to help communicate some of what’s happening right now. Could be cathartic too!
Oh bless you sweetheart. I am so sorry you had a horrible partner, but you have a beautiful baby. Take care and lots of love. Lots of love xxx
Thank you
You happened to be in my feed today. Just subscribe and I am going to go through your play list...but I am not going to mute them. I can't even imagine. You have a good therapist...listen to her/him. You'll make it through. Big hug!
Best comment! I agree!
Thank you
Omg. You talking about being a loving person is so relatable. I feel silly sometimes because i feel like im too emotional and caring. Thank you!
Sometimes these things are a blessing in disguise. I was married 25 years when my husband decided he didn’t want any “responsibility”. My life after him, liberated me and made me a better person. Stay strong and lean on God (if you know Him). Things WILL get better. Blessings ❤
Kaye, Sorry to hear about your recent troubles. I wish the best for you and your family. I first watched your videos years ago for advice on poetry. Its surreal to have seen your journey through videos to this point. Here's a wish for better tomorrows for you and the kiddo.
Thank you
Thank-you for being an open and honest person,we need more of you!! good things are coming!!
been there done that several and MANY times,..not exactly the same,..no married ,..but bad guys for sure!
something great is coming, and hang on.
Thank you
I pray for you to have the strength to go through this! ❤
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.
This year has been difficult for me too, but I don't have a kid to take care of, so I can only imagine.
If it helps, you are a fantastic poet, and a great parent!
Thank you
This video came up in my feed and I'll watch all the way through and subscribe. Be strong and patient and do your best and you'll be so happy it turns out.
I just san you for the first time. With a treasure like you have in your arms, who needs a bad person around.
Divorce can be a good thing. Give yourself time to get use to it and you will be happier. I raised my daughter by myself.
❤
Hi, Kaye! You just popped up on my feed. You seem like such a kind and intelligent person. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Becoming a new mom and then being treated so poorly by your husband is terrible. It is not any failure on your part. Sometimes, in a relationship one person grows and another dies not. You are a loving mother and your son will always know that. You will get through this and I am sure that a year from now, you will be happy and living a better life and Kai will be thriving. Sending you and your son prayers and hugs and well wishes. Oh, and your hair looks great!! The pixie is the in thing this fall! ❤️❤️
Thank you
so sorry you and your little guy are going through this
First time seeing you! I’ve been where you’re at-it’s sad and ALL the feels (and with a little one😢) so easy to feel alone in it, BUT you have a close support system-make sure to reach out and not isolate because that will be your saving grace. God bless you and your little one♥️
Hey Kaye, I just came across your video for the first time. I am a new subscriber. I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I am sending you thoughts and prayers 🙏🙏 Stay strong, your son needs his mom.❤❤
Sorry for all that you’re going through! ❣️
You seem like such a lovely person!!
I just found your channel- subscribed & liked. 🥰
Live near your family, that support system will be invaluable. My daughter just went through this with 3 small children and lives a thousand miles away but can’t leave because of ex. I truly wish he had just left their lives with his new girlfriend and my daughter and grandchildren could be near her family.
Oh no! That sounds like such a difficult situation. The one thing that's been good about this awful divorce is that he doesn't want any custody at all so that's been easy enough to sort out for me. I hope your daughter has really good friends nearby to help her since she's so far away!
I am so so sorry. I am no expert, but I work for a family attorney and my #1 recommendation to anyone going through something like this is that you get a therapist. I'm glad you are doing that! I am so sorry again.
Please take care of yourself. That was my point, but my brain is stupid.
Thank you! I am talking with a counselor and it's helping so much.
You are going to be fine. You are a strong lady. If he doesn’t want to be a dad, make sure he at least supports you financially. Don’t waver in that.
This is the first introduction to you and I'm glad I landed here. Not sure what the references were to the election, but really appreciated your sharing of what you have garnered from therapy thus far. Such a good choice to have gotten right into therapy. Trust in yourself. Love your baby. Though others may need to hate on your husband for his behavior, you don' t have to. You can, of course, but it's okay to love him as you leave him. Your child shares half his genes. Too bad he's not ready for parenting. You're going to be a wonderful mom! (Ordered your books and look forward to spending time with them and giving as gifts.)
Praying for your heart to mend. And when this door closes, another to open.
sending you all the love and strength to you. glad your baby is doing great and your family is supportive. watching you love on your baby is so sweet. hoping for all the lights in the dark times for you!! 🕯
Thank you
Kaye, you mentioned a poetry book? Can you tell us a little bit more about it and how to purchase it. You are a sweet thing and now a new mother…have faith in yourself, your worth and your future…love and hugs.
I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through. Divorce is not fun!
I love hearing babies talk.
I hear you, watch time is the hardest part of TH-cam.
I’m separated after 29 years of marriage.
Financially I can only help by watching your videos to the end.
Not on mute, just low volume.
❤❤ That’s a good idea with the children’s book to help him understand.
I’m here for you. Hopefully we can be friends ❤
I just found your channel and I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time, I can relate when I had my baby her father didn't want to be a dad lucky for me I had a supportive family too.
I found out that it was best not to have her father in our lives because it's not good for the baby.
You are an amazing mom with a precious baby boy .
Hugs
Thank you
Your latest post came on my feed today. Divorce can be painful. Even if I was the one who wanted it. I'll be praying for you.
So sorry to hear that you are dealing with.
My kid is 15 and it goes so fast. A dad being that selfish for such a short piece of life is tragic. Karma will get him.
People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Lean on your family, get a good lawyer, be very protective over your son. It is easier to rent if you don't have pets, you have to be tough right now but you can get through this. Any treasures you have get them out and to a trusted friend. I went thru this, i got the kids and my grandma's silver. I knew over time i could replace everything else i left behind. Finally keep your you tube channel. There is potential for it to payoff. It could be a good second job. Jamerrill Stewart supports her nine kids off TH-cam.
Hello Kaye, sorry to hear this especially being new. 💕NonnaGrace 🐓
I hope things workout I will watch all your videos hope it helps just remember things usually work out for the best it’s hard now but it will get easier and you have a beautiful baby to pour all your love into
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think it's a great idea to write some childrens books. It'll be good for you and good for your baby.
First let me say I'm so sorry this is happening to you! My heart goes out to you! As a divorced father of two great sons I will never understand any man who abandons his wife and child! I can't think of a more selfish cruel act! He will never know the love and joy children bring into your life. Like others have said, it's better that your baby is young and won't form an attachment to this loser of a man-child. You will get through this no matter how much you're scared and hurting. Lean on family and friends for support. Also whether he likes it or not he's financially responsible for supporting your child so don't let him off the hook in that regard! I'll pray that God watches over you and your baby and uplifts and strengthens you and comforts you during this difficult time! Hugs!
❤
God bless you, Kaye. Please be encouraged that all this trauma will eventually work for your advantage and you are being blessed for doing the right thing and enduring what is absolutely outside your control. Take courage, God has this.... He will not let you fall, He does have a plan for your life--- far beyond what you can ever imagine! Get close to God, stay there, pray a lot, and wait for God to do what He does best - - love and take care of His own. You absolutely will be better than OK, please trust God to take care of you as you travel along a painful, unknown path. You are on a journey of magnanimous proportion. Trust, there is a grand life ahead for you and your son. Keep a journal, you will be able to look back and see where your were being carried when you haven't the energy or direction, have no discernment of how, where, or when this situation will be resolved. Unfortunately, you will have to feel the pain for a while. There will be tears, but you will heal and not only heal, but eventually find true happiness. Hold on, keep the faith... God loves you and know there are prayers going up on the behalf of you and your son. Take comfort in knowing there indeed is a merciful, gracious, kind power watching over you.
P.S. Kaye, you need to be encouraged that there are many, many new friends out there who have you in prayer and will be praying for you and supporting you every step of the way - - so many friends you never realized you had. Lean on your family, lean on your friends, lean on God. You will get though this and be a better, stronger person for the journey.
Kaye, so very sorry to hear of this. Sounds like he really doesn’t deserve the title of dad. On another note so many decent men would adore having you and being a real dad. I think in the end it may be better while the baby is young and you don’t have to explain. Stay strong and cling to that beautiful baby God blessed you with. Get a good lawyer and stand your ground financially…….please. God bless you.
1:20 in... and already so sorry for you. It angers me that guys that "get together" with someone doesn't want to be a dad. Does no one have any foresight anymore? I am so sorry for your situation.
And a question… this didn’t happen overnight… you had to have had some inkling that he was not fully committed?
Honestly if I look back there are signs I could see now, but at the time it never even occurred to me, especially while I was pregnant. But I had a lot of memory problems during pregnancy so even if things seemed wrong I couldn't have reliably addressed them. :(
@ Then, dear girl, you have your answer. Thank the dear Lord that you can be done with person. Hug your beautiful baby and your beautiful self and don’t look back. God has a plan for you. Watch it unfold. BTW don’t be a sap. Get a good attorney and make him pay. Stay strong.
Girl. Get off social media until your divorce is over. Do not provide ammunition that your spouse might use against you. 1-INTERVIEW atty's. Don't settle. Get a really strong one that will help you and your child long term. 2-Create a plan and a plan B.
Oh Kaye - I know nothing anyone can say will make this any easier but as a long-time viewer my heart is with you. You seem like such a wonderful person and no doubt an incredible mama. All my love to you. It will be OK. ❤
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
Oh, I love babies!
Being a dad can be tough on a man who feels like a core part of his identity will be lost (especially if that core part was yet to be realized) now that the obligations of paternity are taking up even more of his time and energy. I don't know that this what's going on with your guy, but it's the gist of what I've seen and heard from other dads who leave because they "don't want to be a dad." What they're really saying is, "I wouldn't mind being a dad if I could only also be this other thing too." And, like I said, usually that other thing isn't actually a thing they are. It's an aspiration, and because of that, they feel that now they'll never reach it. So they leave (and unless they're an exceptional individual, they won't become the thing they wish to be anyway).
Obviously, this isn't advice. Just an observation on why a men may run from parenthood. From his perspective, leaving is self-preservation. Usually it's the case that had he actually already been able to achieve or embody whatever it is he thinks he'll lose now that he's a father, he'd see that the child will not redirect the journey of his dreams, rather a child will enrich the path. I say this because I'm a fulltime dad. Yes, I adjust and readjust my schedule so I can also write a few hours almost every day, but the adjustments are time management, not identity. Identity is why I manage my time. If such men would already embody their ideal self, already be in active and happy pursual of their dreams, then they wouldn't make such selfish decisions. Or perhaps if they weren't so selfish, they'd see their child and say, "I wish my my offspring to see me in a certain way, to see me accomplished in my goals," and use that as a catalyst to either begin the journey toward their dreams or to manage their time more wisely.
I'm sorry for so many words. Brevity eludes me today. Just know that everything will end up great for you and your baby. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm pulling up your 71 video playlist while I go take care of and play with my daughter. Cheers!
Look up covert narcissists. I understand exactly what you’re saying. It sucks to love someone who doesn’t love you back.
I love you and im so sorry , youre my best friend and thats my adorable nephew. Remember youre so strong.
Thank you!
Do you self publish all your books? A small press might be able to help get your work out there.
Thank you! Yes, I have been self publishing them. It's a bit more difficult to get in with a legit and helpful small press that doesn't screw you over than you'd think, but I'll probably head more toward that route for my next collection.
I don't know what your husband is going through, and I don't know your history together as I just came across this channel. What I will say is this. He is going to regret this decision for the rest of his life. My ex bailed. A few years later he came back, apologized, blew a bunch of smoke up our daughters behind, made some promises, broke them all. Gone again, different state. On marriage number 4 now. Family and children are precious gifts. But you have to do a whole lot of work, effort, love, time, time, time, Children teach us how to love someone more than ourselves. His relationship will us damaged if he abandons his child. My heart goes out to you for having to do it on your own, it's hard, but I wouldn't trade my memories for anything. And today the relationship we have is amazing. Because I was there. Every single day. I was the parent. Now she is 30 and thanks me all the time and tells me how much she appreciates the childhood I gave her. I busted my ass. She was worth it, and I'd do it 100x's over.
Take care❣️
Thank you
What most people don't know is men can get post partum depression as well. Something to consider.
It was something I considered, but he isn't willing to get help or change his mind.
How incredibly selfish and thoughtless he is. He probably is jealous of the baby and the time it takes away from him. You will be fine. You don't need 2 babies right now.
Lol that's a good point!
There's someone else out there who will love you. One day this will be over and your life will be wonderful and filled with mommy memories 😊
As you go thru this, you will learn and you will grow. For now, just embrace the suck.
Hear me young lady, nobody who's supposed to be with you can walk away from you. They don't "leave" so much as they are sent. Because there's something higher than you who has heard conversations that you haven't, and seen activities that you didn't. Pain and suffering have been sent away from your and I know that sounds like a bunch of crap but one you'll look back and you'll see. Not just this but all the people you thought would be there and weren't, it was good they went their own way. It also makes room for people who are supposed to be there, to be there. You'll be fine. This is an important time in your baby's life. Maximize his potential in terms of secure attachment. You can do this...
When he said he does not want kids you should of turn 180° and run !
Most men never grow up. Don’t want to take responsibility for anything. They just want a mommy they can sleep with. It’s not your fault. Better off without him. Stay strong n God bless
He still has responsibility for the baby. Sorry you’re going through this. My husband’s daughter was in the same situation. She had a baby and a year later the father moved out. 🤷♀️ She prospered subsequently got remarried a few years later. Not a fan of this hairstyle 🫢
I'm sorry divorce is a bad thing
I've been through it
Raised 2 on my own while working a full-time job
Just remember the world will turn and you will get through this
🙏 for you
Hugs!
I’m sorry you’re having to go through this! Why do they just think they have a choice about being a father? I have a friend whose husband did the same thing. They had 5 or 6 biological kids and then they adopted 2 handicapped kids. One of the boys just had a double lung transplant when the husband left and said he couldn’t do it anymore (be a father). I will pray for you, God has a plan! BTW, your hair is adorable! ❤️🙏
Oh my god that's awful! Your poor friend! I don't know why they think they can just opt out. It's cruel and immature. :(
Focus on you and baby and develop the idea to move forward alone, land work, set up babysitting, and a support system so you child can get day care while you work, it does work out ,trust me I know.
Hello Kaye
I'm really sorry to hear that you and your beautiful baby have been abandoned in such a selfish way
It grieves me that we have produced so many lazy thoughtless self centered alpha males in the last few decades
Future dads have a full nine months to mentally prepare themselves for parenthood and I know that it isn't easy but that's no excuse
My life collapsed in a similar way some years ago and it was pure anger that got me out of bed every morning for the next five years !!!!
Anger can be an energy for good so don't be afraid to use it
I never thought my life could be good but now it is and I have a brilliant son who I love more than life itself
It may feel that your world has come to an end but things will improve and one day........
I wouldn't worry too much about the blue hair turning grey - it's kinda cool !
The worst thing about my divorce was losing my dog. Other than that, I love being single again. You will be OK.
Thank you
4B movement ?
Starting to sound appealing ngl
Hugs, but you will be happier without him
congrats on the baby. Im sorry :(
Please listen to what he’s telling you. He doesn’t want to be a Dad, end of story. Get out fast. Your child and I do mean YOUR child should not ever know that kind of rejection. Count your blessings and make him pay!!!
It will be the best decision you ever made. God plants us where we bloom; but we have to pull the weeds and this loser is a weed. Place your trust in God, this will all work out.
By the way think about this for a minute… he wants his cat but not his child???? Run!
💜huuuuuuuuuuugs💜
It’s good the cat will not stay around the baby they like to suffocate them for the milk ! How old is your little one ?
You should watch my other video. XD That's not anything that actually happens. Cats aren't only safe around babies, they're typically great around them! My cats will still live with us, just Korra is my husband's cat so she won't be coming with me unfortunately.
🤷♀️Wait please, I don't understand something-- Previous video you said your husband was actually building a crib during your pregnancy. I assume he CHOSE to build a crib, an "extra" endeavor that indicates enthusiasm about the baby. Yet after THAT, NOW your husband wants to be TOTALLY un-involved in his son's life? He's not willing to co-parent (with the divorce)?? I suggest you tell him that since he had time to build a crib, he can NOW carve out time to see a therapist (1st research to find a GOOD, EFFECTIVE therapist) to figure out how to become "ready" to be a dad to his son. If your husband has some belief that he's not ready/cut out to be some idealized/unrealistic version of what a dad "should" be, then a good therapist (AND you his wife?) could help him adjust his expectations (of himself as a "should be" dad) into realistic and do-able self-expectations of being a dad that he COULD live with. Your son needs to know his actual dad, who's flawed but trying his best-- not some perfect/idealized dad (which doesn't exist for any family, anyway). TH-cam has many adult content creators who describe feeling incomplete due to having NO relationship with their biological dad: SOME kind of relationship with one's biological dad is almost always better than NO relationsip. I agree with commenters here who advise you to pursue child support from your husband, regardless-- If he decides to permanently leave you, his consequence is that he must step up to his financial responsibility of child support (which might cost him more money than if he'd stay & just be the best dad he's capable of being). Sincere Best Wishes & Prayers🙏🙏for you, your son and your husband.
Oh I completely agree. We were constantly making plans for our future with our baby and this came out of nowhere to me. I tried talking through and counseling and giving space and yet by then he had already filed for divorce. :( But he wants no contact so I guess that's the way it's going to be.
@KayeSpivey I'm so sorry that your husband is doing this. Thank you for graciously replying to my post. 🙏🙏Praying for you & your precious son☀️🤍
My husband left me when I cut my hair off. He told me it looked ugly and the thought of making live to me looking like that made him sick. I grew my hair back out and colored it back to normal. Guess who came crawling back 2 years later? Yuppers. Him. Just take one guess what I told him. 😂
My husband encouraged me to cut my hair and said he liked it even though I didn't at the time. xD I shaved it all off because it was hot and I was going through ppd. Now it's great because the baby has started grabbing things and can't pull my hair. Hair grows back so I'm not too worried about it. Leaving you over your haircut is ridiculous! I hope you slammed the door in his face! XD
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🙏💙
Please listen to what he’s telling you. He doesn’t want to be a Dad, end of story. Get out fast. Your child and I do mean YOUR child should not ever know that kind of rejection. Count your blessings and make him pay!!!
It will be the best decision you ever made. God plants us where we bloom; but we have to pull the weeds and this loser is a weed. Place your trust in God, this will all work out.
What he thought you have sex babies might come he wanted fun with no responsibility
I came here for the poetry tips but ma’am you will shine without him I promise you.
Thank you
No clue how this video showed up in my feed, and I've never heard of you before (no offense), but if I may: this kind of loss, especially a bomb like "I'm not ready to be a father" two months after your baby was born is tough to take. I am listening to this video as I type and just learned that the family will split. I am hoping some remedy can be found. Forcing things to be "okay", especially when things can still be healed and grown from will only lead to wounds that will carry over into future relationships - been married and divorced four times and have lost four children. Your husband, not your husband's cat will be your biggest loss in the years to come. Things won't be okay without healing and healing does not happen once the bond is finally severed for real. I'd advocate for supporting you by encouraging you to fight to keep your marriage and family intact.
Unfortunately I tried keeping the family together and this is where we're at. I don't think I could trust him again and he has no interest in staying together any longer.
@KayeSpivey Understood. The home and family I had with my ex was destroyed by her own hands because she was "tired of being a wife" and didn't want to become a "baby factory" (about six months after the birth of our second child). Sad to see, and not the best outcome, but when someone just wants to burn everything down on their way out the door, precious little will change their minds unless they have a change of heart.
Children are a blessing from God
Look up established family, rejoice marriage ministries. There are options to heal and move forward not on
Don’t care if you’re getting divorced I raised my daughter myself 😂
That's a horrible thing to say
Your video appeared and it resonated quite a bit. I am so sorry you're having to go through this grief, especially with a new baby. My daughter just went through a divorce and what your counselor told you about expectations from others rings so true for her. She's shed a lot of tears, but is moving on with her life and feels freedom in not walking on eggshells. Fortunately, there were no children and she kept the house. We were grateful that the divorce went through faster than we thought it would.
I am glad you have family support, as it's essential. Best wishes to you! My daughter learned to just take it one day at a time.
You don’t realize this now, but this is a blessing for you. That’s going to open up a ton of new opportunities over the course of your life that you would not have had if you were with your husband. I know I’m just some random person, but trust me, I’ve been right about a lot and you’re gonna be more than just OK, after a rough time you’re going to soar 🫂
Thank you. I really really hope so!
𝓘'𝓶 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓻𝔂.
You and your son have so much joy and contentment together, being a parent is sooooo worthwhile xxx
This is the first video of yours that I have seen, watched to the end x
Thank you!
Please listen to what he’s telling you. He doesn’t want to be a Dad, end of story. Get out fast. Your child and I do mean YOUR child should not ever know that kind of rejection. Count your blessings and make him pay!!!
It will be the best decision you ever made. God plants us where we bloom; but we have to pull the weeds and this loser is a weed. Place your trust in God, this will all work out.
By the way think about this for a minute… he wants his cat but not his child???? Run!