The Last of Us Episode 3 - a gay man’s perspective
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
- This essay originally appeared in my Substack newsletter in February 2023: probablyworths...
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As a cisgender, heterosexual white man, I need to express something. I found myself brought to tears watching this episode, and seeing the emotional responses from others only amplified my own. Although I can't fully "appreciate" (for the lack of a better word) what it's like to navigate life as a gay man, this deeply moved me, particularly from a love story perspective. Yet, I can't overlook the extraordinary emotional intensity that comes with the idea of two gay men discovering themselves in a society that often fails to accept them, or want them to thrive. And I say this, knowing that I'm blurring the lines between the show and real life.
For me, this has been the most profound and emotionally striking one-hour episode I've ever encountered. The acting was remarkable, and the execution was sublime. While I don't wish to experience the hardships endured by gay men (or anyone from that community that has been 'othered') firsthand, I do acknowledge the painful trials they face for being seen as 'different'. I can only begin to fathom the emotional impact you might have felt watching this.
Your explanation was illuminating... you managed to articulate what I couldn't - your perspective as a gay man. Though I've tried to imagine it, it was both enlightening and heartrending to hear it from you.
I admire your strength. Despite my achievements, I am reminded of my privilege when I hear these narratives. The outspoken bigoted minority exhausts me.
Stay strong, you are stellar. And I have no doubt you have a massive entourage of friends, who just love to 'hang with you'.
Thanks for sharing this, it’s so important to hear these perspectives from all communities - especially the words of kindness and support from allies. It’s been an intense year for the LGBTQ+ community, and words of support like this are great to hear. Thank you.
Dude, I came for the cauliflower and then got this beautiful and moving essay. Many thanks for both. I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts and trying more of your recipes.
Thank you - really appreciate you sharing that, and staying for the essay content too! I’m taking a bit of a break right now as I open a bakery, but will be back with more recipes and stories soon.
Your decency sir made you different...and I admire you for that...decency in all of us inspite of whatever gender orientation that we are is what not all can see and separates us from the things normal people fear...
Thank you for sharing. I am sorry you experienced some hardships. I am glad you know who you were and are. I went to U W T 30 yo. I met a younger guy there who wanted to get together, but I wasn't ready to come out as my brother had recently died of an HIV related disease.
I came out at forty and met my husband 13 years after that. He passed now eight weeks ago, and I must learn to live alone again. I would never trade what we had and would still wish to find a life partner.
I’m so sorry for your losses, I can’t even imagine how hard this must be for you.
Thank you.
Really enjoyed this video. I loved The Last of Us games, but put off watching the show, because I was worried that it might not be that good, as adaptations of games to screen often struggle. Never been more wrong! It is a wonderful production. A Long, Long Time ruined me... I swear I was dehydrated after watching it.
I'm straight, but have no issue with other people's sexuality and I knew Bill was gay from playing the games, so I wasn't surprised by the direction this episode took, although I have to admit thinking that I hoped it wouldn't be "too" gay... turns out it was the middle aged gay post apocalyptic love story I didn't know I needed!
I really hope that some people out there, who may not be empathetic to others, watched this show and had a change of heart.
Thank you for sharing this, it’s really great to hear how the show has been impacting people.
_The Last of Us_ is one of those shows I would show kids some day. On Ep 3 I'd be like "Yeah, the guys love each other, that happens." And on Ep 7 I'd be like "Yeah, Riley is a bad girlfriend who walked into an easily-avoidable death despite numerous warnings."
What an interesting and heart felt analysis of the episode. I'm so very happy this popped up in my feed. Excellent video. Thank you for putting the work in to share your thoughts.
Thanks for the kind words!
The show is some of the best tv I've ever seen, and that episode was absolutely some of the most impactful storytelling I've ever witnessed. That ending just gut-punched me. I cried. And I don't cry (it's not a toxic masculinity thing, I just don't really cry, last time before this show was when I was at my brother's funeral). That whole episode was practically a world unto itself. And they fit it inside an hour. If they got it to 100+ minutes, it would have stood on its own as a movie.
Thanks for sharing, Bob. It was truly something special.
I don't watch TV anymore...haven't for three years. Prior to those three years, I was streaming for 2-3 years. I really appreciate this episode--just found your roasted cauliflower video. Subscribed. Took a chance on this video.
Thank you for speaking to us as human beings. I'm so tired (I'm 75 years old) of the games, histrionics, and narcissism which define our age today. People are people, and I'm interested in their motivations, desires, and dreams. I want to be approached as a human and not presented with a caricature, which actually expresses their hatred for themselves. Can we look at the human and see the love story? Your words could be spoken about me--even at my age, and I'm your heterosexual white woman. We simply live in difficult times, the 4th turning/Kali Yuga/you name it, and the divisions within society are deliberately aggravated and, unfortunately, far less choice presented to live a life which fulfills our inner needs and dreams. Best of luck to you.
Thank you for this kind and thoughtful comment 💖
I think you're adorable ♥
🥰
As a single late 30’s bisexual woman this episode was so incredibly moving for me. I really resonate with your points about remembering growing up in a different time where people were a lot more homophobic, and feeling like straight people expect LGBT people to fit into a specific role. It was so wonderful seeing the depiction on a huge programme really humanising these men, showing them as complex people rather than just stereotypes.
I didn’t come out until I was 30 because I had grown up in a small town where hardly anyone was gay or bi, and to me in media gay or bi women were just seen as being hyper sexual and only doing it to get men, or as a spectacle. Like you, I found watching this so emotional, seeing a depiction of gay love as being about the love itself. Love IS love.
As a side note, just found your channel from Reddit and your videos are fantastic! You’ve earned a new subscriber.
I think you're still too young to be middle aged yet, but other than that, nice video!
I’m 37, and middle aged begins at 35 according to the American Psychological Association!
And also I forgot to say thanks for the kind words!
@@ProbablyWorthSharing True. Though I agree more with the definitions stated in the works of researchers like Erik Erikson, who sets the beginning of middle age after 40+. If true, you still have a few more years, 😁
Oh you sweet man! “I need you to improve and be a better man and you know what I mean!” You don’t need to improve you’re just fine the way you are. And also… occasionally it’s ok to be sexualized… I think you’re cute as the dickens!
Hi fellow middle aged gay, well spoken dear! You were a far better son than I. I couldn’t make myself small enough to be ok in the presence of my midwestern family, but boy did I try. Please know you’re speaking for me too, as all the categories, all the linguistic fences we find, have eluded me as well, happily. Much gratitude. John
Thanks John. I appreciate the thoughtful comment.
For me it’s not about making myself small, I never changed who I am or how I act, so much as I accepted both things to be true - so I could have the fewest regrets in a bad situation. Having said that, it’s different for everyone and every family and there is no right or wrong, better or worse, when it comes to these things. Only what we choose to carry.
@@ProbablyWorthSharing indeed
Honestly it never occurred to me how the history of what Bill would've lived through beforehand would affect him; damn that adds a whole other level.
The way he cry-laughs eating that delicious strawberry hits me hard every time.
That you were treated in such a way by your mother, who should have been your strongest familial supporter, was criminal. We are nothing if not the sum of our parents and family lines; is that not cause enough to love offspring unconditionally? I do hope for you that you have a strong enough support group whose love heals the damage of a non-supportive parent and that you have reconciled it all to heal that wound, my friend. The crushing self doubt of your deserving to be loved must have broken your heart for many years. I am from a First Nations community, where we Two Spirit people identify ourselves to the world as our nation of origin, not through our sexuality. For this reason, I've never been a part of the LGBT community. I agree with your logic and your sensibilities feel very familiar. I have been to Kitchener and have a friend in Toronto who is from Kitchener. From afar, I wish you all the best.
Thank you, appreciate the kind words.
omg i cant believe ..you r speaking my mind and also...DM never let me down again - one of my all time favs kudos for your channel just discovered it today
Thanks for the kind words!
1:28: I hope you did improve, and became a better person ... not on your mother's terms, but on your own ... and on your "Frank's" terms. Good luck, guys. May you grow old, satisfied and purposeful together.
Working on being the best version of me every day!
I realize this is off topic, but the love and support you provided for your mom were laudable and rare. An entire life’s worth of esteem and contributions to society can be earned or lost in how we treat our parents when they need us. (And I second the comment below: you’re too young to be “middle-aged”.)
Thank you, that’s very nice of you to say.
While I appreciate your comment, some parents don’t deserve the care and love of their adult children-and it’s okay of them to refuse.
@@jen.g. ,
Your comment made me wince. I maintain that the majority of parents do, but it takes hardly any thought to realize just how right you are.
❤
Very appropriate clothes
It took a long, long time to find that shirt!
@@ProbablyWorthSharing haha, I imagine.
My gay friend told me that for straight people this TLOU episode was like watching Melissa Mccarthy and Amy Schumer making out... sooo yeah!
He said if instead it was Henry Cavill and Chris Hemsworth it would be a whole different story!! 🤣🤣🤣
Real question, so I click on this video because I think you look good, but you said you don’t like being objectify so what’s the different being attracted to a stranger and objectifying a stranger?
It’s a good question. I’ve struggled with using my face in thumbnails for that reason. Objectification is when you separate someone’s looks from their humanity, degrading their value until they exist like an object on a shelf. Finding someone attractive is natural, the difference is in how you engage with them. Objectifying online is the social media equivalent of catcalling in the streets, which is becoming worse with AI/deepfakes that take away someone’s agency over their own face/body. On Instagram there’s a set of guys who follow me who only engage with me on posts that are selfies with comments like “daddy.” I once asked what I should include in a kitchen tools giveaway and the reply was “nudes.” I have a Short on TH-cam where I show people how to clean a blender and half the comments are about how I look - it’s not a sexy video, I’m wearing a long sleeve shirt. And yet. In real life gay communities its worse because there are a lot of men who don’t respect physical boundaries, like going out for a drink with friends means you’re okay to be touched, groped, and paraded around. I look the way that I look, I’m grateful for that, but it shouldn’t be an invitation to harassment.
@@ProbablyWorthSharing thanks for the in-depth reply, I don’t fully comprehend the difference in term of hitting on someone you never met before, at what point does a compliment become an objectification, Is it intent of the person vs perception of the recipient? And if it make you feel better, I don’t think you are a daddy.
@@ProbablyWorthSharing It's funny it's this exact problem that made me back out of watching _Bros._ The scene in the trailer where the friend is perving out over the old guy in the club I was just thinking "is this _really_ how you think of other people?" Just in terms of bridging the gap between disparate cultures by way of humor, the thing that gets me to respect people is witty wordplay and roasting ability, not "lol, here I go perving"
❤ the series