This topic title is my mantra as well. I took enough metaphoric punches in the last 40 years. In my 30's, both middle fingers went up and I walked away and focused on doing my own thing. I genuinely do not care what people think about me anymore. I don't think it's an age thing but more about experiences and realizing that you can't please everybody, you don't have to agree with anybody, and you don't have to put up with anyone's crap.
I have learned this just in the past few weeks…I thought I was finished with people pleasing, but I was actually doing it in a more “acceptable” manner among the Judeo-Christian community and I was totally miserable doing it, until I realized that I am just fine the way I am
Lower self esteem is higher among gay men, a byproduct being highly attuned to negative emotions (hypervigilance). I think that's why there's quite a bit a self doubt. At the same time gay men rank higher on empathy/compassion traits which means gay men make for others the room they were denied
Matt, get up there on the stage and sing your heart out. I can't imagine my life where I haven't sung. Been at it since age 6! That's a lot of years in solo work, large and small groups and several church choirs!! One of my groups got to open for the Rock and Roll group Sha Na Na a few years ago. What fun. It was only one time, but a memorable one. I have a fear of public speaking, but not singing. I have always said I could sing at Carnegie Hall to a full house, but don't ask me to introduce the songs I am singing! Great Episode, guys. Learning to not give a f**k is a hard one. I actually have made it one of my tenets of 2023 to "not give a crap what people think of me anymore." I even posted it on my Facebook page. Got some comments, too. And, to all of 3 of you, you are making a difference in the lives of many! Thank you!!
First off, I just discovered your podcast series here on youtube a few weeks ago and have listened to about 5 or 6 of them and I've gotten so much out of all of the hosts sharing their personal experiences and perspectives on each topic so I'm finally leaving the first comment I've EVER left on ANY youtube video after decades of watching thousands of streamed videos! The work each of you have done, the knowledge you have, the open, specific & articulate way of communicating thoughts & feelings is wonderful and strange as it seems from thousands of miles apart, I really do feel that I've stumbled upon a "community" and realize how important & empowering that can be (especially for a "lone wolf" freelancer who spends most of his time home alone). I've already mentioned your podcast to friends and will probably share it on Facebook. Thank you all for the gift of what you've created.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experience! It means a lot to us to hear how our podcast has resonated with you and how it's helped you feel connected. Your support and sharing with friends are truly appreciated. We're thrilled to have you as part of our growing community!🏳🌈❤
Another super discussion. Leadership takes caring and daring. Thank you. Michael, a thought: taxes are a drawing away our resources but it is also sharing our resources for the community. We are a community and need to support it. Taxes are a part of sharing.
Came here for tips on tax evasion, stayed for the healing. Started listening just before the new year and I'm feeling more and more invested in Calan's concept of the year of fear. Loved this topic and it had me questioning my hesitation in setting up a call with a therapist who seems like such a great fit. I've been deterred by the price tag and wonder whether there's going to be an ROI for me, but listening to the podcast has really inspired me to start talking to my friend's about their journeys and start with therapy. The consensus so far: it's going to be uncomfortable, but it's going to be worth it. Looking forward to more episodes in the year ahead.
HAHA I hope the tax authorities didn't hear my comment on that episode. Yes, Fraser you know what to do. In my experience, therapy is an investment not a cost. Think of it that way and maybe it will help with taking those first steps.
I think you guys did an awesome job with this podcast. It was a treat listening to each of you share your stories and thoughts with one another and all of us. That said, I want to come out and say, going forward, I will no longer apologize or feel guilty about loving and caring for people the way that I do. I should never apologize for choosing to lead with love, instead of hatred or hurt. This is who I am and the world will deal!
What I don't get is, ... Why didn't Matthew's friends read the subtext of the conversation and ask him to sing Happy Birthday to Calan. Seem the natural progression of this entire podcast. Perhaps reading between the lines is a gift only I possess
OMG best topic ever! now I have to think about my own goals for the future. It is funny because in many ways I clearly do not give a fuck (like moving to a different country to be with the love of my life, thirst traps on Insta and sex positivity, wearing a little make up or "girly" items for clubbing, or freelancing), but in other aspects I give so many fucks (like comparing myself with more attractive strangers or more successful friends, aging or the fear of being a bad partner), so I guess I should start there, right? Thanks as usual, peace love, rainbows back!
Happy (verrrry belated) birthday Calan from a very old fart who loves being in his fifties every single day...and buy the way your creativity peak is still ahead of you! Matt is is just so astonishing to hear you talk. You give words to my thoughts in ways that it makes me gasp. The whole "easy talking about vulnerability but the shame of joy" hit right home. And Michael... I think I'll schedule some coaching with you to learn to go from a people pleaser to a not giving a f*ck-teaser!
This is for Matt. What is the "Gay man" Brotherhood and how do I become part of it? I am having a hard time not with transvestic people but more so with those who are paying enormous amounts of money to have their bodies change when only the outside can be changed, but the inside remains the same. Why not just enjoy being gay and not throwing away money that can be used to help those that need it the most.
This topic title is my mantra as well. I took enough metaphoric punches in the last 40 years. In my 30's, both middle fingers went up and I walked away and focused on doing my own thing. I genuinely do not care what people think about me anymore. I don't think it's an age thing but more about experiences and realizing that you can't please everybody, you don't have to agree with anybody, and you don't have to put up with anyone's crap.
Something about age does that to us, doesn't it?
I have learned this just in the past few weeks…I thought I was finished with people pleasing, but I was actually doing it in a more “acceptable” manner among the Judeo-Christian community and I was totally miserable doing it, until I realized that I am just fine the way I am
Lower self esteem is higher among gay men, a byproduct being highly attuned to negative emotions (hypervigilance). I think that's why there's quite a bit a self doubt.
At the same time gay men rank higher on empathy/compassion traits which means gay men make for others the room they were denied
Matt, get up there on the stage and sing your heart out. I can't imagine my life where I haven't sung. Been at it since age 6! That's a lot of years in solo work, large and small groups and several church choirs!! One of my groups got to open for the Rock and Roll group Sha Na Na a few years ago. What fun. It was only one time, but a memorable one. I have a fear of public speaking, but not singing. I have always said I could sing at Carnegie Hall to a full house, but don't ask me to introduce the songs I am singing! Great Episode, guys. Learning to not give a f**k is a hard one. I actually have made it one of my tenets of 2023 to "not give a crap what people think of me anymore." I even posted it on my Facebook page. Got some comments, too. And, to all of 3 of you, you are making a difference in the lives of many! Thank you!!
❤❤❤ thanks 🙏🏼
First off, I just discovered your podcast series here on youtube a few weeks ago and have listened to about 5 or 6 of them and I've gotten so much out of all of the hosts sharing their personal experiences and perspectives on each topic so I'm finally leaving the first comment I've EVER left on ANY youtube video after decades of watching thousands of streamed videos! The work each of you have done, the knowledge you have, the open, specific & articulate way of communicating thoughts & feelings is wonderful and strange as it seems from thousands of miles apart, I really do feel that I've stumbled upon a "community" and realize how important & empowering that can be (especially for a "lone wolf" freelancer who spends most of his time home alone). I've already mentioned your podcast to friends and will probably share it on Facebook. Thank you all for the gift of what you've created.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experience! It means a lot to us to hear how our podcast has resonated with you and how it's helped you feel connected. Your support and sharing with friends are truly appreciated. We're thrilled to have you as part of our growing community!🏳🌈❤
This made me wonder why telling people they don't look their ages is such a compliment and what it says about people who do.
Another super discussion. Leadership takes caring and daring. Thank you. Michael, a thought: taxes are a drawing away our resources but it is also sharing our resources for the community. We are a community and need to support it. Taxes are a part of sharing.
You're 100% right, Rene. At a rational and intellectual level, I agree. I just said the first thing that came to my mind in the moment!
Came here for tips on tax evasion, stayed for the healing. Started listening just before the new year and I'm feeling more and more invested in Calan's concept of the year of fear. Loved this topic and it had me questioning my hesitation in setting up a call with a therapist who seems like such a great fit. I've been deterred by the price tag and wonder whether there's going to be an ROI for me, but listening to the podcast has really inspired me to start talking to my friend's about their journeys and start with therapy. The consensus so far: it's going to be uncomfortable, but it's going to be worth it. Looking forward to more episodes in the year ahead.
HAHA I hope the tax authorities didn't hear my comment on that episode. Yes, Fraser you know what to do. In my experience, therapy is an investment not a cost. Think of it that way and maybe it will help with taking those first steps.
17:33 - Loved everything you said there, Michael. You are a very self-realized person.
Thank you for touching upon ageism within the gay community.
When I see Matt I swoon
Happy Birthday to you Calan
I think you guys did an awesome job with this podcast. It was a treat listening to each of you share your stories and thoughts with one another and all of us. That said, I want to come out and say, going forward, I will no longer apologize or feel guilty about loving and caring for people the way that I do. I should never apologize for choosing to lead with love, instead of hatred or hurt. This is who I am and the world will deal!
YASSSS! Own it :) The right people will be drawn to you, and the rest don't matter
yes. to "Crabs in the bucket" . I experience that on a massive scale!!!
What I don't get is, ... Why didn't Matthew's friends read the subtext of the conversation and ask him to sing Happy Birthday to Calan. Seem the natural progression of this entire podcast. Perhaps reading between the lines is a gift only I possess
Happy Belated Birthday, Calan! 🎂🎈All the best to you all for 2023, and I will happily share this video on my Instagram!
Even before watching the entire video, I want to wish a very Happy Birthday to Calan, a true Aquarius! Have a wonderful year!
OMG best topic ever! now I have to think about my own goals for the future. It is funny because in many ways I clearly do not give a fuck (like moving to a different country to be with the love of my life, thirst traps on Insta and sex positivity, wearing a little make up or "girly" items for clubbing, or freelancing), but in other aspects I give so many fucks (like comparing myself with more attractive strangers or more successful friends, aging or the fear of being a bad partner), so I guess I should start there, right? Thanks as usual, peace love, rainbows back!
Happy Birthday Calan! You're only 11 months older than me.
Happy birthday Calan!
Happy Birthday, Calan! 🎂
Happy birthday, Calan 🌈❤
Happy Birthday, Calan! **bear hug**
Happy (verrrry belated) birthday Calan from a very old fart who loves being in his fifties every single day...and buy the way your creativity peak is still ahead of you!
Matt is is just so astonishing to hear you talk. You give words to my thoughts in ways that it makes me gasp. The whole "easy talking about vulnerability but the shame of joy" hit right home.
And Michael... I think I'll schedule some coaching with you to learn to go from a people pleaser to a not giving a f*ck-teaser!
Thank you for your continued support of our work Peter 🙏❤️
Happy birthday Calan!🎉💋Continue to get your “cake” an’ eat it too!🎂👍🏻
Five Stars Given :D
This is for Matt. What is the "Gay man" Brotherhood and how do I become part of it? I am having a hard time not with transvestic people but more so with those who are paying enormous amounts of money to have their bodies change when only the outside can be changed, but the inside remains the same. Why not just enjoy being gay and not throwing away money that can be used to help those that need it the most.