The kicker for me was my level of denial about being gay. I watched straight corn. Soft core. I always thought the woman where beautiful, but very critical of the men. I got a hold of and adult magazine, just nudity and just guys. I looked at it to prove to myself I wasn't gay, because if didn't get excited, I was straight. I wasn't attracted to other men, I was just jealous. 🙄 While knowing I was gay the whole, but refusing to accept it and hoping I was confused. Thankfully I discovered TH-cam and came across gay vloging couples. It was the first time in my life I relieved gay men dated, fell in love, and got married. I was early 30's. (Representation matters.) This is already long enough, but I just want to say thanks to you two and couples like you. Who are showing an educating gay men about what a healthy relationship looks like and your medical advice too. For example, as a germaphobe, I had no intrest in sex with another man. After your topic on anal sex and how it works. I'm significantly less apprehensive. (Also really appreciated the PREP and PEP video.) I know I said it before, but thank you. I'm so glad I came across this channel. You guys are awsome.
Having been raised Roman Catholic in the 1950s and 1960s doesn't sound much different from what you much younger guys went through, sad to say. I was lucky to find the love of my life, recover from my Catholic upbringing and make a good life as a progressive openly gay man surrounded by a wonderful LGBTQ+ community. It breaks my heart that many parts of our country seems to be going backward in many ways, and I am grateful that you two speak so honestly and calmly about your lives which serves as a beacon to younger members of the LGBTQ+ community who may not have role models in close proximity to their own lives. Thank you.
The Adam and Eve story should never be brought into a biological-medical ambiance like we see here. The Almighty God ruined the couple's tuition by giving in to their silly Shame-- handing out body coverings! No! Millions of Dr Tyler fans will never understand what Noodity means! (because Dr Tyler and his patient don't show it) Fortunately, there are many classic paintings where you see the two proto-humans with their first two children going naturalist again. Yes!(obviously the world beyond the Eden Garden had a pleasant climate too). Cornelis van Haarlem, f.i., made ia great post-Eden scene, where Adam sits with his back to God's camera and showing off a SPECTACULAR @ss! (In the Garden days, Adam hadn't discovered gayness yet. A pity; Homo sapiens could have evolved in a much more interesting way.) Google it up, Van Haarlem's 17th century image "The First Family" is in the Public Domain, which means that there's no reason for TH-cam Headquarters to explode... ☺
Unfortunately it’s very much a cycle of abuse that needs more willpower and persistence to break. Things generally seem to have improved (particularly as far as law is concerned) but the narratives that are rooted in homophobia still persist in varying degrees and communities.
My parents are Catholic but they never judged me harshly, they were a little hesitant when they found out that I was gay but they got over it quickly.My parents were always very natural when talking about sex, I already knew how the whole biological thing worked from the age of 12, my brothers too, I also already knew that there were gay and lesbian people because several of my relatives were like that. I always found the explanations of gender and sex funny, I already knew I was gay since I was 8 years old, so I was like "yeah, that will never be me lol" I knew in some way how my brothers and cousins felt about the opposite sex because I always had butterflies with handsome men, I guess they felt that way too with women
I used to go dancing every weekend. Didn’t /don’t drink. But love music. It’s been probably 5 years since I’ve been. 67 now. Got Guillian barre. So have neuropathy really really bad. Uuugh. But blessed to walk. I still listen to music everyday. Some music makes me cry. Memories. So many memories…
This is such a HUGE topic. I am a 55 year old gay black man and I have never enjoyed sex because of the shame that I still carry from childhood. It was made clear to me at a very young age that any expression of my burgeoning sexuality was not OK, so I learned early on that I needed to suppress it. Now, every time I attempt to have a sexual encounter, I am too in my head about it and unable to stay in the moment. Of course, this utterly ruins the encounter and reinforces the negative feelings that I have around sex.
I'm 61 and recovering today from a night out dancing to 80s music at the Black Eagle in Toronto. Dancing is Great! I had all the kinds of feelings about shame and guilt that you did. It's comforting to hear.
We are born into heterosexuality and have that shoved down our throats. There was no one to talk to. All I kept hearing is that I'm going to have hell for all of it.
This is a topic that many of the LGBT community went through, especially those born before the 90s. I remember my childhood as happy, I didn't care about exploring my body, or sex, or anything... and I thank my parents for that. But reaching puberty... everything changed. Discovering that you're gay back on '93, with no internet, no talking to your parents in fear of them throwing you out of the house, no talking to your friends in fear of more bullying at middle/high school. I felt so alone at that time, and I desperately wanted to NOT be gay, while my hormones were raging up, and all that expectation of my parents and everyone to get a GF (which I refused thorough all my life). My internalized homophobia grew at an exponential rate, and my paranoia of anyone discovering I was gay prevented me to have any meaningful relationship, even friends. To me, everyone is homophobic out to stab me in the back as soon as they know. And remnants of this feeling still linger today, at my 44 years. There's always this suspicion of people betraying me as soon as they know... sigh, I'm working through that now. It didn't get better at University, I isolated even more, having sex by cruising restrooms or paying sex workers, even though I was quite attractive at that age. They often ask me why I had to do that, being so attractive at that age. But my paranoia only festered and made it worse. When I had the talk with my mother this year (I came out of the closet to her and my sister a few months ago) she deeply regretted she wasn't there for me. I don't blame her though, even if she tried, I was so closed and so paranoid that I would never admit I was gay at that age. Even today I'm not sure if it gets better, anytime.
What a breath of fresh air you two are to my senses. Your genuine character shines through some of most sensitive times of your lives. It’s encouraging and reassuring to watch you together as a couple, friends, lovers ,collègues.
Wish I could be a fly on the wall when you guys are dancing in the garage! Thanks, Gabriel, for taking off the hat....now please convince Tyler to do the same.
New to the channel, couldnt sleep and somehow stumbled here. Anyways, I'm about the same age as you both and grew up in Indiana. My experience is so incredibly similar to what you both described. Except that I never had the courage to eventually hit a rebellious phase and I didnt come out until a few years ago when i became overwhelmed by regret. Anyways, just wanted to share how comforting it is to hear you both share and to relate so heavily. I look forward to watching more videos!
You guys are wonderful. I feel a lot of love and positivity from your discussions and that is so refreshing. Appreciate your taking the time to share on this channel. Hugs
❤ This episode is outstandingly important for LGBTQ+ community members of all ages. My attraction to men blossomed during puberty. There was no internet at that time, so, my porn was photographs of men wearing swimming shorts in diving or boating magazines. I had to use my imagination more than young Gays do now. Luckily, my high school was a performing and visual arts school filled with open-minded students and faculty which made life for a young Gay feel welcomed and relaxed. I first had sex during my sophomore year in college and had a plethora of boyfriends and one-nighters. I've had three long-term relationships during my lifetime. Thanks for your exceptional leadership for our communities' welfare. ❤
Thank you guys for discussing this topic! I feel like a lot of us can relate. I wish when I was in school that they had an optional class discussing LGBTQ+ sexual health in more detail. It was at most a 5 minute topic that everyone made fun of.
I remember as a young kid, maybe 12-14, I didn't even want to show my legs. I never wore shorts because I was extremely hairy and I didn't like that. I remember I didn't start wearing shorts and feeling comfortable in them until I was in my early 20s. I eventually got laser hair removal and that helped me feel confident too. I agree that the gay community focuses too much on the male physique and the standards are too high.
Tell me about it my husband and I would love to go out but we don't drink. Everyone that drinks wants you to be on their level, intoxicated. I like to dance, as a former ballet student it is important. Y'all should start dance parties for non intoxicated people. I would love to come. Your the couple that I wished that is the hardest to find. Intelligent, good sense of humor, gay, married, and just want to live the best version of y'all. My husband and I have a very small and tight group of friends. When you're old like us, it's tiring going out partying all night. Yes when we were younger it was great. Now it's not. I wish y'all were close to become friends with. We are in St Augustine. Do you ever make down this way?
I grew up Queer (Bisexual) in small town Pennsylvania in the 1970's and 80's. I was comfortable with who I was, but confused about how to express it because nobody talked about it then. I actually dated a guy and girl at the same time in high school.
Went to see my dream artist last night P!nk 🥰 And the song Never gonna not dance again resonates so much with turning 30 ❤ Never stop yourself from feeling yourself as long as you can!
Dr Tyler and Gabriel you guys always talk about how your bodies were different as teenagers …. Do you guys have pictures of yourselves before you started your gym lifestyle? Before / After transformation picture. Also, love to see you guys do a podcast about your love of drag queens and RPDR.
What they talk about is so important to hear most of us feel the same way. Its important as a gay man or woman to love yourself, be kind to yourself ,and learn to be proud of yourself. Don't be afraid to get professional help froma lbgtq trained therapist, if you need help,don't be ashamed, your beautiful just as you are!
Thank you for talking about this openly online. Seems silly but I feel it really helped just listening to you two talk about this and reflect upon my own story.
Listening to your conversation, suddenly remembered how embarrassed i was when I knew myself to be queer. I spent a lot of time in the library looking up homosexuality, trying to understand, and never have. My one time relationship, sexuality fantastic, however, also became educated about his meth use, and the difficulties of addiction. I finally moved away, but miss the intimacy, something I yearn for but seldom achieve?
I came out in 1982. The first person I told was a close friend who I met at my first job. We were the same age, she was a tall, striking girl who when she walked in a room, everyone looked. After being friends with her and another girl she was friends with, I decided I would come out to her first. It turned into a shocking evening. When I told her about myself, she said “it’s o.k. John, my friend and I are gay too.”. I was stunned. I had been dating a man for several months, she was curious about my new “friendship”. It opened a new life for the 3 of us. One where we were going out clubbing most nights of the week. There was a place to dance almost every night back then. It was exciting, glamorous, we met new friends. One night when we were out dancing, my friend bumped into her father’s attorney. He was shocked to see her, he said he was going to tell her father where she was. She answered by asking him how he would back up being at a gay club. He turned around in a huff and left. I miss those evenings, it was just as shiny, glittery, and fun as you can imagine. And soon enough we were at our first Halloween at a gay club. 41 years later, we can still remember some of the costumes. I loved all the music, you could feel it vibrate through your body. Nobody knew who Madonna was, but everyone flocked to the dance floor when the screen dropped and her “Burnin’ Up” video began. Dead or Alives “You Spin Me Round Like a Record” was played all summer the year it came out, we loved Culture Club, WHAM!, and one of my favorites was Human League and their hit “Dont You Want Me?”. Bronski Beat was another British act everyone loved “Tell Me Why?”, and just about every night, somewhere in the clubs, The Weather Girls “It’s Raining Men!” was playing. After the clubs closed at 2, everyone would rush to a gay deli that was open until 4, to get a table before the line was out the door. It was a fun time. I met someone at Tiffany in 1990. We dated for 3 years, moved in together after that. In 2005 we moved 800 miles away for a new career. After 8 years we bought a house. We got married the following year, 2 years later I was diagnosed with stage3 cancer. He held my hand through everything, including a second cancer diagnosis. We’ve been together 34 years. I love him so much. We lost our dog to a pit bull attack a few months ago. Last week he came home with a new Yorkie puppy. I miss going out clubbing all the time, but the life we share now is everything I ever dreamt of.
One of the best podcasts. Open honest and informed on every topic. Sharing your own experiences brings back all the same feelings and shame as I grew up. Hopefully many young queer people find this podcast 👍 Hopefully
as a kid i never felt like i was ashamed of my body i never thought about it. until i was a teenager but even now as a adult I'm really ashamed of my body and i knew i was gay super early on as a kid i just knew seeing parts were wrong being taught myself what sex was my parents never taught us sex tbh
Love your videos, growing up in the 80s and 90s was beginning of researched on the internet was just coming up; we would have been amazed to have strong, educated black, Caribbean talk about positivity of gay. However, gay was synonymous of something was evil or wrong about me. Interesting, still we have come long way, but the shame is still there.
I grew up in the 40s and 50s I knew I was different. We were raised by our mother, my father was institutionalized when I was 5. She did not know how to talk to her four sons about sex other than to tell us if we like a girl we should not touch her. Being the oldest of four sons I was expected to do many things that a daughter would be expected to do. As a result w was very confused about my sexuality. I married because it was expected of me, had children that I love dearly. They have given me grandchildren that I adore. My wife passed four years ago and I am trying to be me and it is very confusing to me.
I loved the music of the 80s! For 6 years I had my gay awakening in Orlando, going to the gay bars 5 or 6 nights a week. Besides meeting my friends, I danced for hours. Drug and alcohol free here. Music is one of my natural drugs and helps ward off depression. Great workout and no need for alcohol, lol, all the dancing worked the alcohol off.
Dang am I listening to myself to a tea? It took me throughout my entire 20s to finally digest and rid religeon from my life. I am 33 now and still have generalized anxiety from all of it. Fun stuff.
I haven't discovered that I'm gay until my late 20s and I had to wait to "lose my virginity" with my boyfriend until early 30s, because we're in a long-distance relationship. I'm happy with him and proud of myself that I was able to figure out what I want in life, but at the same time I mourn all the lost years, that I could've lived a happier life much sooner. Sadly, when I was growing up, sex education was non-existent, my parents haven't mentioned sex, orientation or gender even once, and being gay or lesbian (back then those were the only two non-straight orientations that people commonly knew about in my country) was a suicide. In both social and tragically often even literal sense.
Great topic I went through alot when i was young but I learned the hard way but I'm better now god bless u guys u motivated me every time I listen to your life journey blessings hunnies❤❤❤❤
In San Diego there used to country bar called Kickers. Toward the end of my dancing days, I found that my group of friends enjoyed drinking club sodas to hydrate ourselves while dancing.
There is nothing more attractive than two hot guys who value sobriety and the liberating feeling of dancing. I would like to know if the dancing in the garage went any further than dancing??? LOL OXOXOXOXO
Okay, since my previous comment got automatically deleted because I provided TH-cam links and I can see that could be interpreted as suspicious links, here are the description and titles of those cool house mixes for you boys to try. Keep in mind I am proud to be super discriminating and selective when it comes to my house blends. And I hope you enjoy the following on their respective TH-cam channels: Hell’s Couch Sessions “Soulful Disco House Mix 2024” (Ep. 7); DJ Wouk “Megamix Disco House 2023”; most anything by DJ FinnJoe. House music perfect for any occasion. Enjoy!!
I recommend you listen to the 1984 album "Bolero" by Raffaella Carrà. If you're into dance, synth-pop, and disco this album is the way to go. Some songs are in Italian, but it has some Spanish and English songs as well. Plus, Raffaella Carrà is a gay icon so you can't go wrong ❤
'used to think homosexual activities would question our male hood ... turns out it's the utter opposite. Never got into the queer stuff though... have queer friends who I all love and care for, but it's not my character. So outside my social circle, queer strangers would make me feel ashamed for quote "acting" straight and heteronormative, wich I find kind of ironic because I'd be the first person who would make out in public or who'd beat up any guy who'd be harassing my boyfriend. Most queer people I've met have unfortunately no idea on how to stand up and defend for themselves, I mean literally and physically, not just the words and preaching, ... wich is very dangerous.
I'm glad to hear that you guys don't drink much. I'm not a drinker but alcohol is so prevalent in the gay community that it can be difficult to find social outlets that don't revolve around alcohol.
My absolute favorite band is Beach House, whose music I describe as "distilled emotions." It's not uncommon for fans to describe the feelings they experience when listening as "nostalgia for a time I never experienced."
A music suggestion. I always dance to ABBA (I hope you know the band 🤨) and I have more than 50 of their songs in my playlist and omg their songs are always such a banger. Sad, slow, happy, dance, rock, they have it all. Really though, try some songs of ABBA and not just SOS or Dancing Queen 😂. Try So Long, Hole In Your Soul, Our Last Summer, As Good As New and Does Your Mother Know to begin with. And if you guys like it then you can always check the other songs in their albums 😁
To me, the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s were a golden age of modern music and creativity in musicianship. With respect to house / dance music, you can start with the following mixes which include all-time favorites such as: "Gypsy Woman" (by Crystal Waters), "Show Me Love" (by Robin S), "Finally" (by Cece Peniston), etc. -> • th-cam.com/video/-CtaxnL38Hc/w-d-xo.html • th-cam.com/video/cMUg75-X7fY/w-d-xo.html
Im laughing deeply at the one minute use of porn and shame filled coverup. So TRUE!! I had girl pals at age six we played doctor too… but with the boys it was either “ inspector” under the sheets on sleepovers, or “ boy- girl” where we took turns at the roles the one underneath being the girl. It felt so good to be naked with the boys and rub our bodies together, usually out in the woods..Our world is so unique, its like were from another planet. The hardest thing growing up was and still is the ALONENESS. Not lonely. ALONE. The wonderful thing about Tiggers is that Im the only one..Well now i lnow Im not. Its amazing how completely alike our experiences and feelings are on this. Liberating! Thanks for sharing, guys! ( PS hard to imagine either of you as scrawny, but I was too so I get it.)
I remember my teenage years - i never had any interest in wanting to have sex with a woman... i had girlfriends because I'd get asked why arent I dating, or why am I not dating "insert on of my female friends names" as I'm always hanging out with them - surely I like them. I had a friend that was really curious about p*rn...he'd always want to find some regardless of whose house we were at - we'd never do anything, he just wanted to see it... all I remember is thinking how fake and awkward it all looked - but that's when I realised I wasn't really looking at the woman. Eventually I looked at gay p*rn and I seriously tried to convince myself I was just being curious and I just wanted to be these men with such confidence, but that of course never made me gay. I even had a friend whereby in school we'd never talk but outside of school we'd hang out - probably around the age of 11 (I think that's when it start) we somehow convinced ourselves we could use each other to practice for when we got a real girlfriend. Let's just say clothes stayed on, there was thrusting but technically it was dry humping, eyes stayed closed - and because we did it this way it meant it wasn't gay. We'd have months of not talking - my mind was so conflicted because the moment I started questioning I was gay i'd stop hanging out with him... i felt I was wrong, dirty, disgusting, and that I would bring shame if people found out etc. -- looking back I wished we had talked more about what was going on but I think we were both afraid that ultimately it could mean we were actually gay. I remember my dad seeing the search history - I blamed that on another friend saying he probably did it as a joke My dad found a floppy disc with images (let's be honest, dial up was slow so I'm not gonna keep downloading everything) - but I said this must be a friends There was so much denial going on... even now it's hard to push through and say there's nothing wrong with being gay - it's still there in the back of my mind shaping myself to be what I thought society wanted me to be. Constantly second guessing yourself, lying about what you lie - I like a good show tune but even to this day to most people I say I don't like music because it's easier and feels less of a lie. Unfortunately p*rn has given me a very scary image of sex... it makes it look terrifying ... I've had a handful of sexual partners and each time it was terrifying -- I've never liked my body, I'm short, I wonder if i'd be enough for someone, but then I also have the thoughts in the back of my mind that it's wrong and what if god is watching :-( Seeing TH-camrs open up and normalise certain things...realising that whilst you may have felt alone you weren't the only one going through the same things. But then I'm reminded that I've not found that special someone, I've not found a group of gay friends or support network etc - it still feels very lonely and me against the world
The kicker for me was my level of denial about being gay.
I watched straight corn. Soft core. I always thought the woman where beautiful, but very critical of the men.
I got a hold of and adult magazine, just nudity and just guys. I looked at it to prove to myself I wasn't gay, because if didn't get excited, I was straight.
I wasn't attracted to other men, I was just jealous. 🙄
While knowing I was gay the whole, but refusing to accept it and hoping I was confused.
Thankfully I discovered TH-cam and came across gay vloging couples.
It was the first time in my life I relieved gay men dated, fell in love, and got married. I was early 30's. (Representation matters.)
This is already long enough, but I just want to say thanks to you two and couples like you.
Who are showing an educating gay men about what a healthy relationship looks like and your medical advice too.
For example, as a germaphobe, I had no intrest in sex with another man. After your topic on anal sex and how it works. I'm significantly less apprehensive. (Also really appreciated the PREP and PEP video.)
I know I said it before, but thank you. I'm so glad I came across this channel.
You guys are awsome.
Having been raised Roman Catholic in the 1950s and 1960s doesn't sound much different from what you much younger guys went through, sad to say. I was lucky to find the love of my life, recover from my Catholic upbringing and make a good life as a progressive openly gay man surrounded by a wonderful LGBTQ+ community. It breaks my heart that many parts of our country seems to be going backward in many ways, and I am grateful that you two speak so honestly and calmly about your lives which serves as a beacon to younger members of the LGBTQ+ community who may not have role models in close proximity to their own lives. Thank you.
The Adam and Eve story should never be brought into a biological-medical ambiance like we see here. The Almighty God ruined the couple's tuition by giving in to their silly Shame-- handing out body coverings! No! Millions of Dr Tyler fans will never understand what Noodity means! (because Dr Tyler and his patient don't show it)
Fortunately, there are many classic paintings where you see the two proto-humans with their first two children going naturalist again. Yes!(obviously the world beyond the Eden Garden had a pleasant climate too). Cornelis van Haarlem, f.i., made ia great post-Eden scene, where Adam sits with his back to God's camera and showing off a SPECTACULAR @ss! (In the Garden days, Adam hadn't discovered gayness yet. A pity; Homo sapiens could have evolved in a much more interesting way.)
Google it up, Van Haarlem's 17th century image "The First Family" is in the Public Domain, which means that there's no reason for TH-cam Headquarters to explode... ☺
I feel LGB, never TQ+, so the perception of this alphabet community can differ a lot. And I am a very openly gay man.
Unfortunately it’s very much a cycle of abuse that needs more willpower and persistence to break. Things generally seem to have improved (particularly as far as law is concerned) but the narratives that are rooted in homophobia still persist in varying degrees and communities.
My parents are Catholic but they never judged me harshly, they were a little hesitant when they found out that I was gay but they got over it quickly.My parents were always very natural when talking about sex, I already knew how the whole biological thing worked from the age of 12, my brothers too, I also already knew that there were gay and lesbian people because several of my relatives were like that.
I always found the explanations of gender and sex funny, I already knew I was gay since I was 8 years old, so I was like "yeah, that will never be me lol"
I knew in some way how my brothers and cousins felt about the opposite sex because I always had butterflies with handsome men, I guess they felt that way too with women
Two amazingly handsome men. Gabriel w/o a ball cap is so fine. As usual, your conversation is full of insight.
I used to go dancing every weekend. Didn’t /don’t drink. But love music. It’s been probably 5 years since I’ve been. 67 now. Got Guillian barre. So have neuropathy really really bad. Uuugh. But blessed to walk. I still listen to music everyday. Some music makes me cry. Memories. So many memories…
Sorry you have Gullian Barre. I have ALS
This is such a HUGE topic. I am a 55 year old gay black man and I have never enjoyed sex because of the shame that I still carry from childhood. It was made clear to me at a very young age that any expression of my burgeoning sexuality was not OK, so I learned early on that I needed to suppress it. Now, every time I attempt to have a sexual encounter, I am too in my head about it and unable to stay in the moment. Of course, this utterly ruins the encounter and reinforces the negative feelings that I have around sex.
I'm 61 and recovering today from a night out dancing to 80s music at the Black Eagle in Toronto. Dancing is Great!
I had all the kinds of feelings about shame and guilt that you did. It's comforting to hear.
I love how open you guys are . Your conversations are so thought provoking and cause so much expansion.
We are born into heterosexuality and have that shoved down our throats. There was no one to talk to. All I kept hearing is that I'm going to have hell for all of it.
The Heterosexual Dictatorship
this
Yep being 14 I worry about that and I feel like a creep and I can’t live with myself knowing
This is a topic that many of the LGBT community went through, especially those born before the 90s. I remember my childhood as happy, I didn't care about exploring my body, or sex, or anything... and I thank my parents for that.
But reaching puberty... everything changed. Discovering that you're gay back on '93, with no internet, no talking to your parents in fear of them throwing you out of the house, no talking to your friends in fear of more bullying at middle/high school. I felt so alone at that time, and I desperately wanted to NOT be gay, while my hormones were raging up, and all that expectation of my parents and everyone to get a GF (which I refused thorough all my life). My internalized homophobia grew at an exponential rate, and my paranoia of anyone discovering I was gay prevented me to have any meaningful relationship, even friends. To me, everyone is homophobic out to stab me in the back as soon as they know. And remnants of this feeling still linger today, at my 44 years. There's always this suspicion of people betraying me as soon as they know... sigh, I'm working through that now.
It didn't get better at University, I isolated even more, having sex by cruising restrooms or paying sex workers, even though I was quite attractive at that age. They often ask me why I had to do that, being so attractive at that age. But my paranoia only festered and made it worse.
When I had the talk with my mother this year (I came out of the closet to her and my sister a few months ago) she deeply regretted she wasn't there for me. I don't blame her though, even if she tried, I was so closed and so paranoid that I would never admit I was gay at that age.
Even today I'm not sure if it gets better, anytime.
amen to that. I told a friend in 1980 and soon ALL my friends left me and called me sick!
@@crs7937I’m so sorry
You’re strong
What a breath of fresh air you two are to my senses. Your genuine character shines through some of most sensitive times of your lives. It’s encouraging and reassuring to watch you together as a couple, friends, lovers ,collègues.
So interesting to hear your past experiences. It's sad how society shames us for natural, normal behavior.
It's not natural for men to act like bitchy women or have sex that results in fecal incontinence 🤷♂
Wish I could be a fly on the wall when you guys are dancing in the garage!
Thanks, Gabriel, for taking off the hat....now please convince Tyler to do the same.
New to the channel, couldnt sleep and somehow stumbled here. Anyways, I'm about the same age as you both and grew up in Indiana. My experience is so incredibly similar to what you both described. Except that I never had the courage to eventually hit a rebellious phase and I didnt come out until a few years ago when i became overwhelmed by regret.
Anyways, just wanted to share how comforting it is to hear you both share and to relate so heavily. I look forward to watching more videos!
My parents told me absolutely nothing about sex of any sort.
KC and The Sunshine Band, Get Down Tonight always kicked off dance time after the drag show in Pensacola!
YALL are so chill I love it
I love you guys. All the topics you are bringing up are so insightful. Thanks for all of that
You guys are wonderful. I feel a lot of love and positivity from your discussions and that is so refreshing. Appreciate your taking the time to share on this channel. Hugs
❤ This episode is outstandingly important for LGBTQ+ community members of all ages. My attraction to men blossomed during puberty. There was no internet at that time, so, my porn was photographs of men wearing swimming shorts in diving or boating magazines. I had to use my imagination more than young Gays do now. Luckily, my high school was a performing and visual arts school filled with open-minded students and faculty which made life for a young Gay feel welcomed and relaxed. I first had sex during my sophomore year in college and had a plethora of boyfriends and one-nighters. I've had three long-term relationships during my lifetime. Thanks for your exceptional leadership for our communities' welfare. ❤
Thank you guys for discussing this topic! I feel like a lot of us can relate. I wish when I was in school that they had an optional class discussing LGBTQ+ sexual health in more detail. It was at most a 5 minute topic that everyone made fun of.
This has been my favorite video so far ... I could relate to ALL of it. Thanks so much! :)
Grew up during the times of AIDS epidemic it really suppressed my sexuality
I remember as a young kid, maybe 12-14, I didn't even want to show my legs. I never wore shorts because I was extremely hairy and I didn't like that. I remember I didn't start wearing shorts and feeling comfortable in them until I was in my early 20s. I eventually got laser hair removal and that helped me feel confident too. I agree that the gay community focuses too much on the male physique and the standards are too high.
Tell me about it my husband and I would love to go out but we don't drink. Everyone that drinks wants you to be on their level, intoxicated. I like to dance, as a former ballet student it is important. Y'all should start dance parties for non intoxicated people. I would love to come. Your the couple that I wished that is the hardest to find. Intelligent, good sense of humor, gay, married, and just want to live the best version of y'all. My husband and I have a very small and tight group of friends. When you're old like us, it's tiring going out partying all night. Yes when we were younger it was great. Now it's not. I wish y'all were close to become friends with. We are in St Augustine. Do you ever make down this way?
I grew up Queer (Bisexual) in small town Pennsylvania in the 1970's and 80's. I was comfortable with who I was, but confused about how to express it because nobody talked about it then. I actually dated a guy and girl at the same time in high school.
Went to see my dream artist last night P!nk 🥰
And the song Never gonna not dance again resonates so much with turning 30 ❤ Never stop yourself from feeling yourself as long as you can!
Almost interesting conversation, guys! Thanks for your thoughts, past & video!!
Dancing is great. It's a great way to move and bond with others. shame was huge for me. So let LOVE envelope you.
Be whom you want to be! Blessings to all.
Dr Tyler and Gabriel you guys always talk about how your bodies were different as teenagers …. Do you guys have pictures of yourselves before you started your gym lifestyle? Before / After transformation picture.
Also, love to see you guys do a podcast about your love of drag queens and RPDR.
What they talk about is so important to hear most of us feel the same way. Its important as a gay man or woman to love yourself, be kind to yourself ,and learn to be proud of yourself. Don't be afraid to get professional help froma lbgtq trained therapist, if you need help,don't be ashamed, your beautiful just as you are!
This is a great podcast! Very informative and helpful. Dr. Tyler and Gabriel have such great rapport too. Love it.
Thank you for talking about this openly online. Seems silly but I feel it really helped just listening to you two talk about this and reflect upon my own story.
You too are just awesome. Thanks for the videos and topics.
Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, anything by the BeeGees.
Listening to your conversation, suddenly remembered how embarrassed i was when I knew myself to be queer. I spent a lot of time in the library looking up homosexuality, trying to understand, and never have. My one time relationship, sexuality fantastic, however, also became educated about his meth use, and the difficulties of addiction. I finally moved away, but miss the intimacy, something I yearn for but seldom achieve?
Your Renaissance tank top looks AMAZING. You both are so gorgeous. ❤❤
charli's new album is perfectionnnnn
Interesting discussion and handsome guys!
The Beegees! Awesome songs for dancing and there’s some great remixes out there too.
I came out in 1982. The first person I told was a close friend who I met at my first job. We were the same age, she was a tall, striking girl who when she walked in a room, everyone looked. After being friends with her and another girl she was friends with, I decided I would come out to her first. It turned into a shocking evening. When I told her about myself, she said “it’s o.k. John, my friend and I are gay too.”. I was stunned. I had been dating a man for several months, she was curious about my new “friendship”. It opened a new life for the 3 of us. One where we were going out clubbing most nights of the week. There was a place to dance almost every night back then. It was exciting, glamorous, we met new friends. One night when we were out dancing, my friend bumped into her father’s attorney. He was shocked to see her, he said he was going to tell her father where she was. She answered by asking him how he would back up being at a gay club. He turned around in a huff and left. I miss those evenings, it was just as shiny, glittery, and fun as you can imagine. And soon enough we were at our first Halloween at a gay club. 41 years later, we can still remember some of the costumes.
I loved all the music, you could feel it vibrate through your body. Nobody knew who Madonna was, but everyone flocked to the dance floor when the screen dropped and her “Burnin’ Up” video began. Dead or Alives “You Spin Me Round Like a Record” was played all summer the year it came out, we loved Culture Club, WHAM!, and one of my favorites was Human League and their hit “Dont You Want Me?”. Bronski Beat was another British act everyone loved “Tell Me Why?”, and just about every night, somewhere in the clubs, The Weather Girls “It’s Raining Men!” was playing. After the clubs closed at 2, everyone would rush to a gay deli that was open until 4, to get a table before the line was out the door. It was a fun time. I met someone at Tiffany in 1990. We dated for 3 years, moved in together after that. In 2005 we moved 800 miles away for a new career. After 8 years we bought a house. We got married the following year, 2 years later I was diagnosed with stage3 cancer. He held my hand through everything, including a second cancer diagnosis. We’ve been together 34 years. I love him so much. We lost our dog to a pit bull attack a few months ago. Last week he came home with a new Yorkie puppy. I miss going out clubbing all the time, but the life we share now is everything I ever dreamt of.
One of the best podcasts. Open honest and informed on every topic. Sharing your own experiences brings back all the same feelings and shame as I grew up. Hopefully many young queer people find this podcast 👍
Hopefully
The shame is terrifying and fearful. I wished you would've talked more about the shame
as a kid i never felt like i was ashamed of my body i never thought about it.
until i was a teenager but even now as a adult I'm really ashamed of my body and i knew i was gay super early on as a kid i just knew seeing parts were wrong being taught myself what sex was my parents never taught us sex tbh
Love your videos, growing up in the 80s and 90s was beginning of researched on the internet was just coming up; we would have been amazed to have strong, educated black, Caribbean talk about positivity of gay. However, gay was synonymous of something was evil or wrong about me. Interesting, still we have come long way, but the shame is still there.
Thank you for this conversation.
I grew up in the 40s and 50s I knew I was different. We were raised by our mother, my father was institutionalized when I was 5. She did not know how to talk to her four sons about sex other than to tell us if we like a girl we should not touch her. Being the oldest of four sons I was expected to do many things that a daughter would be expected to do. As a result w was very confused about my sexuality. I married because it was expected of me, had children that I love dearly. They have given me grandchildren that I adore. My wife passed four years ago and I am trying to be me and it is very confusing to me.
I loved the music of the 80s! For 6 years I had my gay awakening in Orlando, going to the gay bars 5 or 6 nights a week. Besides meeting my friends, I danced for hours. Drug and alcohol free here. Music is one of my natural drugs and helps ward off depression. Great workout and no need for alcohol, lol, all the dancing worked the alcohol off.
i will miss this so much!!! love y'all
Dang am I listening to myself to a tea? It took me throughout my entire 20s to finally digest and rid religeon from my life. I am 33 now and still have generalized anxiety from all of it. Fun stuff.
Love the Renaissance shirt!
I haven't discovered that I'm gay until my late 20s and I had to wait to "lose my virginity" with my boyfriend until early 30s, because we're in a long-distance relationship.
I'm happy with him and proud of myself that I was able to figure out what I want in life, but at the same time I mourn all the lost years, that I could've lived a happier life much sooner.
Sadly, when I was growing up, sex education was non-existent, my parents haven't mentioned sex, orientation or gender even once, and being gay or lesbian (back then those were the only two non-straight orientations that people commonly knew about in my country) was a suicide. In both social and tragically often even literal sense.
@@Atria636 oh where are you from and where did you moved after having a partner? how long have you been married?
Looooove this video. I appreciate the personal experiences. I guess we all have the sane experiences and feelings!!!!
Love the content. Very relatable. And I’m literally on the other side of the planet😂[South Africa]
Great topic I went through alot when i was young but I learned the hard way but I'm better now god bless u guys u motivated me every time I listen to your life journey blessings hunnies❤❤❤❤
Me loving you guys' podcast then also seeing you wear a renaissance shirt is AMAZING!!!! #HIVE
Love watching you guys
Great topic
In San Diego there used to country bar called Kickers. Toward the end of my dancing days, I found that my group of friends enjoyed drinking club sodas to hydrate ourselves while dancing.
I really appreciate this presentation its so insightful.
I can relate to it very much as a gay guy .
Thank you.
Thank you boys for sharing - important topic
There is nothing more attractive than two hot guys who value sobriety and the liberating feeling of dancing. I would like to know if the dancing in the garage went any further than dancing??? LOL OXOXOXOXO
Okay, since my previous comment got automatically deleted because I provided TH-cam links and I can see that could be interpreted as suspicious links, here are the description and titles of those cool house mixes for you boys to try. Keep in mind I am proud to be super discriminating and selective when it comes to my house blends. And I hope you enjoy the following on their respective TH-cam channels: Hell’s Couch Sessions “Soulful Disco House Mix 2024” (Ep. 7); DJ Wouk “Megamix Disco House 2023”; most anything by DJ FinnJoe.
House music perfect for any occasion. Enjoy!!
Hat-free Gabriel you’re GORGEOUS, with beautiful hair! Work on doc and see if you can convince him to ditch the baseball cap!
Can you talk about STI's please if u can. How to look after yourself and protection
I recommend you listen to the 1984 album "Bolero" by Raffaella Carrà. If you're into dance, synth-pop, and disco this album is the way to go. Some songs are in Italian, but it has some Spanish and English songs as well. Plus, Raffaella Carrà is a gay icon so you can't go wrong ❤
17:23 LOL sitting in a tweety bird t shirt
Love the beyonce shirt!!
'used to think homosexual activities would question our male hood ... turns out it's the utter opposite. Never got into the queer stuff though... have queer friends who I all love and care for, but it's not my character. So outside my social circle, queer strangers would make me feel ashamed for quote "acting" straight and heteronormative, wich I find kind of ironic because I'd be the first person who would make out in public or who'd beat up any guy who'd be harassing my boyfriend.
Most queer people I've met have unfortunately no idea on how to stand up and defend for themselves, I mean literally and physically, not just the words and preaching, ... wich is very dangerous.
interesting shirt Tyler
Love Orville Peck - his current collab with Kylie Minogue is chefs kiss! The Noah Cyrus collab is slow but brilliant!
I'm glad to hear that you guys don't drink much. I'm not a drinker but alcohol is so prevalent in the gay community that it can be difficult to find social outlets that don't revolve around alcohol.
The renaissance shirt!
Love dancing - check out Book Club radio mixes, Jojo and Tinzo create great mixes with 80s and 90s House music.
My absolute favorite band is Beach House, whose music I describe as "distilled emotions." It's not uncommon for fans to describe the feelings they experience when listening as "nostalgia for a time I never experienced."
im from india and learning about teen episodes of other country people make me feel like
check out lola palmer dj sets. she's a really good dj
I know how you feel. Raised Full Gospel.
A music suggestion. I always dance to ABBA (I hope you know the band 🤨) and I have more than 50 of their songs in my playlist and omg their songs are always such a banger. Sad, slow, happy, dance, rock, they have it all. Really though, try some songs of ABBA and not just SOS or Dancing Queen 😂. Try So Long, Hole In Your Soul, Our Last Summer, As Good As New and Does Your Mother Know to begin with. And if you guys like it then you can always check the other songs in their albums 😁
A good show topic may be what do you tell your doctor about being gay.
SONG RECOMMENDATION: Touch me - Touch This Mix by Cathy Dennis , let me know what you think😁😁
To me, the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s were a golden age of modern music and creativity in musicianship. With respect to house / dance music, you can start with the following mixes which include all-time favorites such as: "Gypsy Woman" (by Crystal Waters), "Show Me Love" (by Robin S), "Finally" (by Cece Peniston), etc. ->
• th-cam.com/video/-CtaxnL38Hc/w-d-xo.html
• th-cam.com/video/cMUg75-X7fY/w-d-xo.html
Omg I had one of those with a cousin also and they blamed me for him being gay, I’m openly bisexual and he ended up gay. But we were like 5
Im laughing deeply at the one minute use of porn and shame filled coverup. So TRUE!! I had girl pals at age six we played doctor too… but with the boys it was either “ inspector” under the sheets on sleepovers, or “ boy- girl” where we took turns at the roles the one underneath being the girl. It felt so good to be naked with the boys and rub our bodies together, usually out in the woods..Our world is so unique, its like were from another planet. The hardest thing growing up was and still is the ALONENESS. Not lonely. ALONE. The wonderful thing about Tiggers is that Im the only one..Well now i lnow Im not. Its amazing how completely alike our experiences and feelings are on this. Liberating! Thanks for sharing, guys! ( PS hard to imagine either of you as scrawny, but I was too so I get it.)
I love dancing to Last Dance by Donna Summer
Check out Roisin Murphy. SHE IS AMAZING. Lots of good dance music.
i am dancer but i dance only the traditional dance of my country,,southern thai
I remember my teenage years - i never had any interest in wanting to have sex with a woman... i had girlfriends because I'd get asked why arent I dating, or why am I not dating "insert on of my female friends names" as I'm always hanging out with them - surely I like them.
I had a friend that was really curious about p*rn...he'd always want to find some regardless of whose house we were at - we'd never do anything, he just wanted to see it... all I remember is thinking how fake and awkward it all looked - but that's when I realised I wasn't really looking at the woman. Eventually I looked at gay p*rn and I seriously tried to convince myself I was just being curious and I just wanted to be these men with such confidence, but that of course never made me gay.
I even had a friend whereby in school we'd never talk but outside of school we'd hang out - probably around the age of 11 (I think that's when it start) we somehow convinced ourselves we could use each other to practice for when we got a real girlfriend. Let's just say clothes stayed on, there was thrusting but technically it was dry humping, eyes stayed closed - and because we did it this way it meant it wasn't gay. We'd have months of not talking - my mind was so conflicted because the moment I started questioning I was gay i'd stop hanging out with him... i felt I was wrong, dirty, disgusting, and that I would bring shame if people found out etc. -- looking back I wished we had talked more about what was going on but I think we were both afraid that ultimately it could mean we were actually gay.
I remember my dad seeing the search history - I blamed that on another friend saying he probably did it as a joke
My dad found a floppy disc with images (let's be honest, dial up was slow so I'm not gonna keep downloading everything) - but I said this must be a friends
There was so much denial going on... even now it's hard to push through and say there's nothing wrong with being gay - it's still there in the back of my mind shaping myself to be what I thought society wanted me to be. Constantly second guessing yourself, lying about what you lie - I like a good show tune but even to this day to most people I say I don't like music because it's easier and feels less of a lie.
Unfortunately p*rn has given me a very scary image of sex... it makes it look terrifying ... I've had a handful of sexual partners and each time it was terrifying -- I've never liked my body, I'm short, I wonder if i'd be enough for someone, but then I also have the thoughts in the back of my mind that it's wrong and what if god is watching :-(
Seeing TH-camrs open up and normalise certain things...realising that whilst you may have felt alone you weren't the only one going through the same things.
But then I'm reminded that I've not found that special someone, I've not found a group of gay friends or support network etc - it still feels very lonely and me against the world
Try Illuminate by VIOLETS, pays homage to 80’s synth pop.
Never felt comfortable going to my parents either!!!
👏👏❤️❤️
I had all the same body insecurities!!!
❤❤❤
Who are these guys?
The one in the right is so familiar
U guys should try listening to doja cat song which called Agora hills trust me it has the best vibe ever just try it and see
What a hot couple, you two look so in love
I love you guys. Let me know if you’re ever open for a third. 😂😅
I danced till I was 45 😊😊😊👌👌👌
check out B(if)tec '2020' album recorded in Australia 1999/2000
Loose the shame as soon as possible.