I get lonely when you're not here And this darkness appears, leaving me stranded My whole world shuts down You never lived here And I never found what I thought I did There's a million things There's a million things I could say But you never really knew that But you never really knew I felt this way Wanna take it back Wanna take it back to when we Had it just like that had it right on track And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up I never had thoughts that controlled me Until something bad left me so lonely And I want it back, I want the old me I'm trying to forget, but things just remind me There's a million things There's a million things I could say But you never really knew that But you never really knew I felt this way Wanna take it back Wanna take it back to when we Had it just like that had it right on track And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up There's a million things There's a million things I could say But you never really knew that But you never really knew I felt this way Wanna take it back Wanna take it back to when we Had it just like that had it right on track There's a million things There's a million things I could say But you never really knew that But you never really knew I felt this way Wanna take it back Wanna take it back to when we Had it just like that had it right on track And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up
I’ve never had someone like that love me back. I’ve never been with anyone physically and I sit here watching people I love internally and knowing they would never feel the same way about me. It always makes me beg the question, is it better to love and lose it, or never truly feel it at all. In some strange way, I feel like I suffer both.
[Verse 1] I get lonely when you're not here And this darkness appears, leaving me stranded My hope washes down You never lived here And I never found whatever I did [Pre-Chorus] There's a million things There's a million things I could say But you never really knew that But you never really knew I felt this way Wanna take it back Wanna take it back to when we Had it just like that Had it right on track [Chorus] And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up To bright it up, yeah And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up To bright it up, yeah And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up To bright it up, yeah And I keep falling in this darkness And there's no one to light it up To bright it up [Verse 2] I never had Thoughts that control me Until something bad Left me so lonely And I want it back I want the old me I'm trying to forget But things just remind me Arici 🌙
I'm trying to lose 19 pounds cause I want the old me back when I was skinny and this song when it said I had it right on track that's kinda describing me cause that's how I feel and I'm not popular either and I will get popular one day and will be skinny old me again and bad me too
You know what’s funny? Well I guess funny is relative at this point, but I was kinda fat ngl when I was like 14/15. I was like, what 150cm or whatever and weight 80kg. Had cellulitis. And not that strong fat if u will, more of that weak skinny but fat. Then I got to training. Diets. 177cm 69kg. Wasn’t that strong but pleasing for the eyes i guess. And all that time i was thinking „I’m gonna show them, everyone picked on me, and now I’m stronger und skinnier than them“, just to realize, that beauty und happiness comes from within. I was catching myself in many ways, where I wanted something to get that happiness from the outside. Form different people etc. But you have to come into that peace with you, doing great not for the sake of the final result, but because you like the process und you like that you became someone who likes the person you had to become to like the process and yourself. Not someone who is liked. Because, being liked, is there really a reason? Or a benefit? In the end there is no one but you living your life. There is no one other who lives YOUR life for you. So there is no benefit and no reason to be liked. But there is every reason and every benefit in the world to do the things you think are RIGHT. To not let others down, but to let YOURSELF DOWN. That. That’s the greatest sin there is to do in one’s life. Don’t die thinking you didn’t actually live how you wanted. I’m imagining myself in my dying bed pretty often: would i be happy having made this and that, or would I regret? And that’s how I figure out if something’s right for me. Or if something makes me feel good and that good feeling is justified. Maybe you can take something from that with you
I keep hooking up with guys hurting my body and self worth just because I hope they will make me feel alive. It’s not bad (the hookups) but in the moment I can already tell that it’s not working out. I feel broken. Or maybe I was born without the piece that makes you feel pleasure with someone. Since I was young all I wanted was sex. To please men. To be adored. And as I’ve been adored by men and pleased them it left me empty. More empty than when I was alone. They were my only solution for not unaliving myself and now I’m realizing sex/hookups don’t work. It doesn’t help. I have to go through this life knowing nothing sticks with me. Nothing is fulfilling. Every laugh is close to a breakdown of tears. I’m due for a breakdown but nothing happens. This guy has been manipulating me and I spent all my pocket money on him. Dumb I know. It was sketchy from the start but I took the risk bc he was hot and I was desperate as I always am. Quite stupid. I wish I couldn’t feel so I don’t have to ponder the absence of joy anymore. (lol I don’t think that made sense). This song is amazing ❤
Choose Jesus, he became man so you would know true love from one. Humans are fickle, here one day, gone the next. But He’ll never leave nor forsake you, and the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy one is understanding. Hope this helps ❤️🔥.
@@kenny4900 I will be honest, God is very mysterious. It says in proverbs that it’s his glory to conceal things but the glory of kings (his children) to search it out. It says in another text that he is a rewarder though for those who diligently seek him. And in another text that we press toward to our high mark in Christ Jesus. (So our true identity is inside him) I got saved at 14, and ever since I’ve been feeling his presence but at different extents depending on the atmospheres I’m in. To sum it up, create a atmosphere for his presence to come and fill you. Play worship songs, find an old crate flip it over to the back side, put a veil or towel over it, and use it as an altar to bow on. Anoint yourself and the altar with pure olive oil as you pray and do these acts of worship consistently. Not as a religion but earnestly seek for his presence for relationship. It says if you draw near to God he’ll draw near to you. All these things are just symbols that represent his glory. When I was 14, I lifted my hands for the first time in my room after I accepted Jesus as my savior and I felt fire hit them and immediately consume my whole body. It was so wonderfully amazing, but the next day I got back into his presence and I didn’t feel him. But It didn’t mean he’s wasn’t there, but as I sought and sought, his presence as a “feeling” would come back. Truthfully he was always there but he chose not to make his presence known to just my feelings so I wouldn’t be bound by them but to be lead by my faith in him. It says faith is the only thing that pleases him. So as time went on he would come back in that form as my faith increased, now? I feel him 24/7. Glory in my hands and throughout my body. I pray this helps ❤️🔥.
I’m really sorry about all you’ve gone through. I can’t really fully understand everything since I’m not in the same situation but I’ve often felt the feeling of this…emptiness as well. More so when it comes to just about anything in life. I grew up in social isolation and depended on pleasing people (not in a sexual way, just in general) to live by, and how they’d treat me would determine my worth. I kept doing that for a good part of my childhood until about a few months back when I finally broke my own cycle. Some friends I knew for years were toxic and it took a while until I realized it and the harm it was doing. When I found healthy, good friendship for the first time I learned that it’s not about pleasing one person unconditionally, it’s a two way street. Nowadays I still feel that feeling of emptiness, and honestly a lot of stuff doesn’t matter to me much. The thrill of adventure, careers, wealth, they still don’t and likely won’t ever rid me of this empty feeling. I still get days where I see myself as worthless and undeserving of love. But I was so fortunate to have found an amazing friend that taught me how to view myself in a positive light. To not treat myself as a commodity to be judged and used but as a person with my own thoughts and emotions. I don’t know if any of this helps but, I just want you to know that there’s so much more to life than people pleasing. By no means is my struggle similar to yours but I know well enough that hopping in and out of new relationships is tiring and draining, it only provides a short spark of joy but in the long run just leaves you more and more frustrated. I was able to find my joy in forming healthy relationships, tho it took a lot of pain and effort I eventually found the one thing that truly matters to me; deep, intimate connections. So whether it be through finding that truly special person who supports you in your highs and lows, or a passion project, I hope you’re able to find the love and joy you deserve. Much love and wishes ❤
@@mookiess🥲 Tysm that means a lot. And I agree. I need to build relationships that are stable and healthy. I never rly had a place where I could express myself. So I resorted to bad things when I was younger. I suppose I’m just reacting to it. Sometimes I feel like my own pain and misery isn’t worth to scream and cry abt. So I just watch characters on TV cry instead. Yes I want intimate deep relationships that actually mean something. I want a friend I can talk to. Rly talk too I don’t wanna feel like I’m taking up too much space. I hate how I felt back then. The anxiety, the self-hatred. Life has been so draining these past four years that I no longer car for my adulthood. (I’m 18). It all feels pointless and dull. My despair can be so overwhelming I forget why I haven’t kms. But alas I’m still here. It can get better. I can meet ppl. Find a friend. (How do you find a friend 😭😭😭) I’m happy that you’re doing better and for your friend. ❤❤ thanks again. I need a gay friend :(. Someone like me. Or for someone to just like me
You know God loves you and doesn’t want to see you like this. Trust him with your life and you’ll see the change. I was there and now I’m free.Who ever is behind this screen , I love you but not as much as Jesus.
![clara la san - in this darkness [ slowed + reverb + looped ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/P_Kg9JYxrpc/mqdefault.jpg)
1:28 “I want it back, I want the old me I’m trying to forget but things just remind me” ~ ouch
hits way too hard
rebirth vibes😣
I want my old me back
This sounds so good with headphones omg
Astro A50s
I actually feel bad for the song artist. She’s dealing with so much pain 😢
I get lonely when you're not here
And this darkness appears, leaving me stranded
My whole world shuts down
You never lived here
And I never found what I thought I did
There's a million things
There's a million things I could say
But you never really knew that
But you never really knew I felt this way
Wanna take it back
Wanna take it back to when we
Had it just like that had it right on track
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up
I never had thoughts that controlled me
Until something bad left me so lonely
And I want it back, I want the old me
I'm trying to forget, but things just remind me
There's a million things
There's a million things I could say
But you never really knew that
But you never really knew I felt this way
Wanna take it back
Wanna take it back to when we
Had it just like that had it right on track
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up
There's a million things
There's a million things I could say
But you never really knew that
But you never really knew I felt this way
Wanna take it back
Wanna take it back to when we
Had it just like that had it right on track
There's a million things
There's a million things I could say
But you never really knew that
But you never really knew I felt this way
Wanna take it back
Wanna take it back to when we
Had it just like that had it right on track
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up yeah
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up, to bright it up
everyone keeps making thirst trap edits to this song when she’s literally describing depression 💀
no bc tht is gunna be her 13th reason😭
IKR 💀💀
Ah depression, the thirstiest trap 😂
@@Magical_Trash YESSS
I dont even know if she gas depression or not
My respect for this song❤️>>>>
It HURTS
I’ve never had someone like that love me back. I’ve never been with anyone physically and I sit here watching people I love internally and knowing they would never feel the same way about me. It always makes me beg the question, is it better to love and lose it, or never truly feel it at all. In some strange way, I feel like I suffer both.
It's better to love. It can hurt, but when it's good... it's GOOD.
this song tells so much about me and the one i love that will never come back..
I love this song
can u do at night by the cure ?
[Verse 1]
I get lonely when you're not here
And this darkness appears, leaving me stranded
My hope washes down
You never lived here
And I never found whatever I did
[Pre-Chorus]
There's a million things
There's a million things I could say
But you never really knew that
But you never really knew I felt this way
Wanna take it back
Wanna take it back to when we
Had it just like that
Had it right on track
[Chorus]
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up
To bright it up, yeah
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up
To bright it up, yeah
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up
To bright it up, yeah
And I keep falling in this darkness
And there's no one to light it up
To bright it up
[Verse 2]
I never had
Thoughts that control me
Until something bad
Left me so lonely
And I want it back
I want the old me
I'm trying to forget
But things just remind me
Arici 🌙
1:20
fr 😭
Floating
This fire !
I’ve been in this place before DONT wanna go back
Love it
I listen to this song everyday because I be sad 😢😭
u just like me fr
Addictive
i feel so empty since this person left
Real. 😕
Same
forreals
Real...
I'm trying to lose 19 pounds cause I want the old me back when I was skinny and this song when it said I had it right on track that's kinda describing me cause that's how I feel and I'm not popular either and I will get popular one day and will be skinny old me again and bad me too
You know what’s funny? Well I guess funny is relative at this point, but I was kinda fat ngl when I was like 14/15. I was like, what 150cm or whatever and weight 80kg. Had cellulitis. And not that strong fat if u will, more of that weak skinny but fat. Then I got to training. Diets. 177cm 69kg. Wasn’t that strong but pleasing for the eyes i guess. And all that time i was thinking „I’m gonna show them, everyone picked on me, and now I’m stronger und skinnier than them“, just to realize, that beauty und happiness comes from within. I was catching myself in many ways, where I wanted something to get that happiness from the outside. Form different people etc.
But you have to come into that peace with you, doing great not for the sake of the final result, but because you like the process und you like that you became someone who likes the person you had to become to like the process and yourself. Not someone who is liked. Because, being liked, is there really a reason? Or a benefit? In the end there is no one but you living your life. There is no one other who lives YOUR life for you. So there is no benefit and no reason to be liked. But there is every reason and every benefit in the world to do the things you think are RIGHT. To not let others down, but to let YOURSELF DOWN. That. That’s the greatest sin there is to do in one’s life. Don’t die thinking you didn’t actually live how you wanted. I’m imagining myself in my dying bed pretty often: would i be happy having made this and that, or would I regret? And that’s how I figure out if something’s right for me. Or if something makes me feel good and that good feeling is justified. Maybe you can take something from that with you
I wish you the very best for your life, on your journey. If you really want, you will figure everything out 🤍🤙🏻
Omg
I keep hooking up with guys hurting my body and self worth just because I hope they will make me feel alive. It’s not bad (the hookups) but in the moment I can already tell that it’s not working out. I feel broken. Or maybe I was born without the piece that makes you feel pleasure with someone. Since I was young all I wanted was sex. To please men. To be adored. And as I’ve been adored by men and pleased them it left me empty. More empty than when I was alone. They were my only solution for not unaliving myself and now I’m realizing sex/hookups don’t work. It doesn’t help.
I have to go through this life knowing nothing sticks with me. Nothing is fulfilling. Every laugh is close to a breakdown of tears. I’m due for a breakdown but nothing happens.
This guy has been manipulating me and I spent all my pocket money on him. Dumb I know. It was sketchy from the start but I took the risk bc he was hot and I was desperate as I always am. Quite stupid. I wish I couldn’t feel so I don’t have to ponder the absence of joy anymore. (lol I don’t think that made sense).
This song is amazing ❤
Choose Jesus, he became man so you would know true love from one. Humans are fickle, here one day, gone the next. But He’ll never leave nor forsake you, and the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy one is understanding. Hope this helps ❤️🔥.
@@coveredbygod_ how do you feel Jesus. I don’t understand it. I don’t know how to feel his love. Or anyone’s. Thx tho ❤️🩹
@@kenny4900 I will be honest, God is very mysterious. It says in proverbs that it’s his glory to conceal things but the glory of kings (his children) to search it out. It says in another text that he is a rewarder though for those who diligently seek him. And in another text that we press toward to our high mark in Christ Jesus. (So our true identity is inside him) I got saved at 14, and ever since I’ve been feeling his presence but at different extents depending on the atmospheres I’m in. To sum it up, create a atmosphere for his presence to come and fill you. Play worship songs, find an old crate flip it over to the back side, put a veil or towel over it, and use it as an altar to bow on. Anoint yourself and the altar with pure olive oil as you pray and do these acts of worship consistently. Not as a religion but earnestly seek for his presence for relationship. It says if you draw near to God he’ll draw near to you. All these things are just symbols that represent his glory. When I was 14, I lifted my hands for the first time in my room after I accepted Jesus as my savior and I felt fire hit them and immediately consume my whole body. It was so wonderfully amazing, but the next day I got back into his presence and I didn’t feel him. But It didn’t mean he’s wasn’t there, but as I sought and sought, his presence as a “feeling” would come back. Truthfully he was always there but he chose not to make his presence known to just my feelings so I wouldn’t be bound by them but to be lead by my faith in him. It says faith is the only thing that pleases him. So as time went on he would come back in that form as my faith increased, now? I feel him 24/7. Glory in my hands and throughout my body. I pray this helps ❤️🔥.
I’m really sorry about all you’ve gone through. I can’t really fully understand everything since I’m not in the same situation but I’ve often felt the feeling of this…emptiness as well. More so when it comes to just about anything in life. I grew up in social isolation and depended on pleasing people (not in a sexual way, just in general) to live by, and how they’d treat me would determine my worth.
I kept doing that for a good part of my childhood until about a few months back when I finally broke my own cycle. Some friends I knew for years were toxic and it took a while until I realized it and the harm it was doing. When I found healthy, good friendship for the first time I learned that it’s not about pleasing one person unconditionally, it’s a two way street.
Nowadays I still feel that feeling of emptiness, and honestly a lot of stuff doesn’t matter to me much. The thrill of adventure, careers, wealth, they still don’t and likely won’t ever rid me of this empty feeling. I still get days where I see myself as worthless and undeserving of love. But I was so fortunate to have found an amazing friend that taught me how to view myself in a positive light. To not treat myself as a commodity to be judged and used but as a person with my own thoughts and emotions.
I don’t know if any of this helps but, I just want you to know that there’s so much more to life than people pleasing. By no means is my struggle similar to yours but I know well enough that hopping in and out of new relationships is tiring and draining, it only provides a short spark of joy but in the long run just leaves you more and more frustrated. I was able to find my joy in forming healthy relationships, tho it took a lot of pain and effort I eventually found the one thing that truly matters to me; deep, intimate connections. So whether it be through finding that truly special person who supports you in your highs and lows, or a passion project, I hope you’re able to find the love and joy you deserve.
Much love and wishes ❤
@@mookiess🥲
Tysm that means a lot. And I agree. I need to build relationships that are stable and healthy. I never rly had a place where I could express myself. So I resorted to bad things when I was younger. I suppose I’m just reacting to it.
Sometimes I feel like my own pain and misery isn’t worth to scream and cry abt. So I just watch characters on TV cry instead.
Yes I want intimate deep relationships that actually mean something. I want a friend I can talk to. Rly talk too I don’t wanna feel like I’m taking up too much space. I hate how I felt back then. The anxiety, the self-hatred.
Life has been so draining these past four years that I no longer car for my adulthood. (I’m 18). It all feels pointless and dull. My despair can be so overwhelming I forget why I haven’t kms.
But alas I’m still here. It can get better. I can meet ppl. Find a friend. (How do you find a friend 😭😭😭)
I’m happy that you’re doing better and for your friend. ❤❤ thanks again.
I need a gay friend :(. Someone like me. Or for someone to just like me
Nah bro the edits that I see are the assetto corsa edits
You know God loves you and doesn’t want to see you like this. Trust him with your life and you’ll see the change. I was there and now I’m free.Who ever is behind this screen , I love you but not as much as Jesus.
Amen thank you 🙏🏾❤️
Would that mean I would have to stop listening to this song to trust him?
Im here to make a cod clip not bc im sad😂
hello
hi
1:19
1:20
3:19