EA Invents Surprise Robberies

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 10K

  • @mrjohnnyk
    @mrjohnnyk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4826

    "I didn't crash your car, I gave you a surprise reshaping of the metalwork."

    • @saintpoli6800
      @saintpoli6800 5 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      I unexpectedly realigned your car’s axel.

    • @tankaddict9147
      @tankaddict9147 5 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      I simply remodeled the frame of your vehicle.

    • @adrock_sokolov6570
      @adrock_sokolov6570 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Ignore the corpse left inside...

    • @aaronhoran4585
      @aaronhoran4585 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      it’s ok cause he done it for free

    • @aaronjiang1574
      @aaronjiang1574 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      @@adrock_sokolov6570 what you talking about the corpse is a prepaid DLC

  • @junielthegamer2845
    @junielthegamer2845 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5138

    Your honor, those weren't bombings.
    They were *surprise fireworks.*

    • @ryanstewart531
      @ryanstewart531 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@debatingyouth *comment with literally 600 likes*
      People in youtube comment section: underrated!

    • @Drillengineer
      @Drillengineer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      that's fun and ethical

    • @gooby8953
      @gooby8953 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Defendant, you literally said Tiocfaidh ár lá before the bombs went off. 30 people were killed.

    • @MrTurtleThief
      @MrTurtleThief 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      It's not a crater, it's dynamic topography!

    • @kemoni221
      @kemoni221 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@gooby8953 *I think you're recharacterizing my language*

  • @someboi3968
    @someboi3968 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8224

    OFFICER THAT WASNT MASSIVE GENOCIDE IT WAS "SUPRISE EXTINCTION"

    • @kevo300
      @kevo300 5 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      You would be telling that to the supreme court 😂

    • @someboi3968
      @someboi3968 5 ปีที่แล้ว +155

      @@kevo300 what if I committed genocide on the supreme court?

    • @tealdrum5687
      @tealdrum5687 5 ปีที่แล้ว +159

      some boi Well by that logic if you yell “surprise” before the genocide then it’s completely ethical

    • @michaelmendez7441
      @michaelmendez7441 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Haha thats ea for sure

    • @falsetitle6940
      @falsetitle6940 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@kevo300 The officer has to arrest him first.

  • @loganfillmore3057
    @loganfillmore3057 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2234

    charlie: forgets "millennium falcon"
    his first instinct: "millennium assbeater"

    • @SpaceMissile
      @SpaceMissile 3 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      to be fair, that's exactly what it looks like.

    • @methegamerx
      @methegamerx 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Wow I was scrolling down the comments and right after he said that I saw this comment.

    • @TheCooldog
      @TheCooldog 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Well considering it was the ship that destroyed the second Death Star... yeah it’s an assbeater

    • @dapotatoguy7019
      @dapotatoguy7019 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Nevertheless his comebacks are still high tier ranking even top 1 percentile among the intentional jokes out there

    • @danielsandwhichpants1391
      @danielsandwhichpants1391 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Mildly surprised he didn’t say Millennium Goatze

  • @carlosfred8673
    @carlosfred8673 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3168

    Your honor, it wasn't a mugging.
    It was an *Involuntary Donation*

  • @bigjamal5229
    @bigjamal5229 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6771

    FBI: Why'd you blow up that building.
    Terrorist: I didn't blow it up, it was a surprise deconstruction.

    • @GodActio
      @GodActio 4 ปีที่แล้ว +154

      Surprise deconstruction is also the actual real term used for when rockets blow up, lmao

    • @viderevero1338
      @viderevero1338 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      No offense Alien sir, but it kind of looks like your recalling a conversation

    • @bigjamal5229
      @bigjamal5229 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      @@viderevero1338 I'm not, it's just surprise repeated linguistics

    • @yourdailydoseofdumb
      @yourdailydoseofdumb 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Understandable, have a great day

    • @djak4803
      @djak4803 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      yikes

  • @element1192
    @element1192 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13149

    Patient: It’s cancer isn’t it?
    EA employee as a doctor: it’s not cancer it’s surprise cell growth

    • @newhandle_2552
      @newhandle_2552 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      saw that meme on reddit before

    • @element1192
      @element1192 5 ปีที่แล้ว +217

      QUALITY COLLECTOR Of course you did

    • @theterribleanimator1793
      @theterribleanimator1793 5 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Now thats a wholesome christian meme.

    • @IQFZ
      @IQFZ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      1100th like

    • @lukenichols8219
      @lukenichols8219 4 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      "It's not Downs Syndrome, your genes just have extra content."

  • @bengunderson712
    @bengunderson712 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1238

    EA Games: "Challenge Everything!"
    UK parliament: "Okay. Let's start with you."

    • @SqualidsargeStudios
      @SqualidsargeStudios 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      BOOM! Got em

    • @petercowie5213
      @petercowie5213 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      What a sick fucking name you have good sir

    • @Cairo40000
      @Cairo40000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Ben Gunderson is a badass name

    • @quandale_dingle6353
      @quandale_dingle6353 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Its actually the belgian government
      When there was sill a government

    • @saumyatandon9229
      @saumyatandon9229 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ben Gunderson oh okay

  • @ricedanan
    @ricedanan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4419

    I didn't kill this man. I just gave him a surprise vacation to Heaven.

    • @sebas8225
      @sebas8225 5 ปีที่แล้ว +157

      I didnt pirate that game, I just downloaded a free unrestricted demo.

    • @Zyrodil
      @Zyrodil 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Op made me fucking giggle. Good shit.

    • @darrelsam419
      @darrelsam419 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Perminant vacation.

    • @dankbudski
      @dankbudski 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Alayjo I read the ops comment in Paulie Gualtieri’s voice from The Sopranos

    • @dankbudski
      @dankbudski 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Alayjo suits it pretty well lol

  • @glipglop1412
    @glipglop1412 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3022

    EA: Stop harassing our social media accounts
    Me: It’s not harassment, it’s surprise truth

    • @EliezPaulino
      @EliezPaulino 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      You’re not wrong.

    • @unlimited8410
      @unlimited8410 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      They gonna need a surprise comaback after such a suprise barbeque

    • @jerrymcbride5589
      @jerrymcbride5589 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Me:No no officer i was merely borrowing this lady in my trunk

    • @theMyouknow
      @theMyouknow 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jerrymcbride5589 Surprise Bitch !

  • @MiM1Cx
    @MiM1Cx 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2129

    "I didn't stab you, I just gave you a surprise body piercing"

    • @blackjesus476
      @blackjesus476 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      ‘I didn’t participate in the drive by officer, I just sat in the car driving it’.

    • @chenchangpo
      @chenchangpo 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      That’s deep.

    • @captainfalcon3554
      @captainfalcon3554 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Surprise acupuncture with a knife

  • @ognjensinjeri837
    @ognjensinjeri837 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1577

    "Kim Jong Un doesn't fart, he passes winds of peace"

    • @yatharthagarwal1813
      @yatharthagarwal1813 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      This might have accidentally bolstered his online presence

    • @rubbersoul8830
      @rubbersoul8830 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I literally read this comment as he said it and it felt oddly surreal

    • @SpaceMissile
      @SpaceMissile 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@rubbersoul8830 better than having smelled it as he said it.

    • @Truck-kun_01
      @Truck-kun_01 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Better than winds of destruction.

    • @patricksteinsen1147
      @patricksteinsen1147 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      omg read it right when he said it lmao

  • @smonkwade8191
    @smonkwade8191 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16147

    I don't pirate EA games, I just get a "Surprise Discount" on them.

    • @equalssign44
      @equalssign44 4 ปีที่แล้ว +683

      Surprise Coupon

    • @tilburg8683
      @tilburg8683 4 ปีที่แล้ว +348

      Yeah for real I'm always gonna pirate them from now on. And if they go bankrupt I'll have a party about it, not that there arent 5 billion companies just as bad, but the franchises that used to be good deserve to get left alone with what little dignity they still have left if any.

    • @tilburg8683
      @tilburg8683 4 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      @Robin nigba I played heat for 2 days And havent touched it since release, It mean I don't like them and they don't deserve money and at this rate I'd be glad if they go bankrupt and nfs and battlefield could die with what little dignity if they have any left at all.

    • @fusk7799
      @fusk7799 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      I only pay for indie games. not gonna give my money to multi-billion aaa games

    • @tilburg8683
      @tilburg8683 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @Robin lets use EAs logic, people like surprises and people like free stuff or cheaper stuff so EA is fine with me not paying. Also you can't defendnd the its not rR@ApP3e it's struggle snuggle argument its dumb.
      And ea don't deserve money they deserve to go bankrupt. I'll never see those 80 euros again.

  • @notnothaze
    @notnothaze 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2066

    No officer you've got it all wrong... I didn't break into their home.
    It was a surprise visit!

    • @pilinszkibarni1070
      @pilinszkibarni1070 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Genius

    • @caliapster8720
      @caliapster8720 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Jake B. 😂😂😂😂

    • @lukefurno1151
      @lukefurno1151 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      No I didn’t murder this man! I gave him a surprise funeral....

    • @bretta.6926
      @bretta.6926 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lol you break in my house and you wont be able to tell the officer anything

    • @jerrythedweller2957
      @jerrythedweller2957 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Turn this into a meme now

  • @Capricegirl_
    @Capricegirl_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2417

    *The entire time that lady looks like she’s getting ready to cry and guilt trip everyone in that room.*

    • @overshotprince
      @overshotprince 4 ปีที่แล้ว +122

      It’s cause she’s try to fight for something that is so clearly wrong it’s like fighting a war alone

    • @jasjfl
      @jasjfl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      She looks like Pam's landlord that she sets up Michael with to help him get over Jan.

    • @josephjack4365
      @josephjack4365 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Imagine if a Karen worked at EA

    • @thejobosaurus7649
      @thejobosaurus7649 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Extra Aesthetic youb 😂😂😂 I'm sorry but I love that

    • @nicolemelo8994
      @nicolemelo8994 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      I'm actually kinda sorry for her tbh because you can tell she does not believe what she's saying but she's still gotta say it or she's getting fired.

  • @CRMN805
    @CRMN805 3 ปีที่แล้ว +262

    If they wanted an actual human they would have to pay for that DLC

    • @melroysojan
      @melroysojan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Again... That surprise mechanism at work🙂

  • @TheLastDaysOfSorrow
    @TheLastDaysOfSorrow 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2136

    Even the Nazis blatantly called it "Blitzkrieg" and not "Surprise War".

    • @shadowranger937
      @shadowranger937 5 ปีที่แล้ว +123

      surprise war actually wouldn't sound like a dishonest thing to do unless it breaks some kind of treaty.

    • @jas6919
      @jas6919 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Karl Friedrich the germans use dat term

    • @KiruMiru90
      @KiruMiru90 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@EMOTION-ENGINE lolwat, wrong

    • @WhatIThoughtChannel
      @WhatIThoughtChannel 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Cinderbrooke Surprisingly, he’s actually not wrong - look it up. It of course is a German word, created by the Germans, but the way in which it is used in the English language and its use during the Second World War was indeed an invention of the allies.

    • @wisemankugelmemicus1701
      @wisemankugelmemicus1701 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Dante B. I mean it’s pretty much the same thing. Meaning “lightning war”.

  • @wiIIiamfancyson
    @wiIIiamfancyson 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1975

    My uncle didn't molest me, he just gave me a suprise prostate exam

    • @thesuperfatty
      @thesuperfatty 5 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      With his dong

    • @danialshahmi
      @danialshahmi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      And his tongue

    • @thereisnochannel9416
      @thereisnochannel9416 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      And elbows

    • @YourDadYoda
      @YourDadYoda 5 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      Seems like a nice guy he must really care for your general health

    • @ethank.6602
      @ethank.6602 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @Unqiue Keys i think anyone who isnt asian with an anime avatar needs to visit a therapist

  • @w0ody16
    @w0ody16 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9203

    Bill Cosby offered surprise mechanics in his drinks.

    • @greysomething4421
      @greysomething4421 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Oof

    • @reckedhail176
      @reckedhail176 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      El Don lol

    • @fumomofumosarum5893
      @fumomofumosarum5893 5 ปีที่แล้ว +121

      @@pipon941 it was not free of charge - you had to pay with it with sex.

    • @buckylarson7630
      @buckylarson7630 5 ปีที่แล้ว +166

      Surprise sore ass in the morning

    • @hantalg
      @hantalg 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Worst thing about Bill Cosby was that he was a hypocrite

  • @troloosauhund8747
    @troloosauhund8747 4 ปีที่แล้ว +288

    Kinder Egg sounds a bit creepy when you speak German

    • @turtle2678
      @turtle2678 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      Child egg

    • @otherssingpuree1779
      @otherssingpuree1779 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Is that why they changed it to Kinder Joy?

    • @Morrov
      @Morrov 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      @@otherssingpuree1779 kinder egg and kinder joy are 2 separate things though, at least where I live

    • @YISTECH
      @YISTECH 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Morrov PL same

    • @phil_zupra_b5880
      @phil_zupra_b5880 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      They are called "Überraschungs Eier"
      What translates to "Surprise Egg"
      So this is literally a Surprise mechanic.

  • @spirate7182
    @spirate7182 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3482

    Cop: you're under arrest
    EA: I disagree
    Cop: alright have a nice day

    • @fatalhug5998
      @fatalhug5998 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Taylor Jones what did they do?

    • @AizonLightning
      @AizonLightning 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      My fucking stomach hurts from laughing at this.

    • @fatalhug5998
      @fatalhug5998 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Nikolas Frost EA: I will sue you for slander if you pay me 99.99.99 dollars don’t worry you can get dlc for you not to repay me forever but you can only get that dlc with a loop box which cost 100,00,000 dollars each loop box

    • @fatalhug5998
      @fatalhug5998 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I like my own comments you should like them too Cop: Nope
      *puts you in handcuffs*

    • @arizonarangerwithabigirono1520
      @arizonarangerwithabigirono1520 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Aaliyah Kelly always someone that gotta ruin the joke

  • @gavinpennycuff4407
    @gavinpennycuff4407 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3439

    "You buy kinder eggs for the surprise"
    Yea but I didn't need to buy the Target just to buy the kinder eggs now did I?

    • @tatujuntunen7668
      @tatujuntunen7668 4 ปีที่แล้ว +156

      Gavin Pennycuff also kinder eggs are at least damn good chokolate

    • @lukedevlin5948
      @lukedevlin5948 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Tatu Juntunen nah kinder eggs are unreal

    • @mononokehime3182
      @mononokehime3182 4 ปีที่แล้ว +91

      I buy them for the chocolate and throw the surprise into the trash.

    • @Thelonious_
      @Thelonious_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@mononokehime3182 same here

    • @thedarkside1254
      @thedarkside1254 4 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      Also you dont have to buy the kinder egg and then 2.50 for a key to open the fucking egg

  • @PeachDragon_
    @PeachDragon_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1478

    "So this is basically gambling for children"
    "Well yes but actually no we don't call it that"

    • @pixxilutia6108
      @pixxilutia6108 5 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      "we like to call it surprise gambling"

    • @kosog6584
      @kosog6584 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Why do people always refer to children when it comes to microtransactions? Lol

    • @iP3RFEKTIONoO
      @iP3RFEKTIONoO 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Kosog0NG because a lot of children ask their parents for their CCs just to gamble on overwatch, csgo, and other crates. (Some adults can be children as well)

    • @vulekv93
      @vulekv93 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Americans are obsessed with language gymnastics... In the 70s Joe Weider, founder of IFBB, made a NON SANCTIONING POLICY, it meant that they sanctioned anyone who competed in any other rival association, but if you competed only in IFBB you got nothing, you just didn't get sanctioned... Why didn't they just call it sanctioning policy, since it's all about sanctioning people... Americans really enjoy their pseudo intellectual word salads... Hemingway and Georg Orwell are turning in their graves...

    • @kosog6584
      @kosog6584 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Griffith did everything wrong but Donovan not I agree, but it seems like people keep mentioning child consumers purely for moral gratification and not for any bare concern for them.

  • @cooperkellis2659
    @cooperkellis2659 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    The big difference between stuff like kinder eggs and digital loot boxes is at least with random toys you own a physical object, while with loot boxes you just get a random chance at limited rights to access content, with no right to resell or modify

    • @StreakyBaconMan
      @StreakyBaconMan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Also people don't buy 10 kinder eggs and hope that one of them contains a PS5, and not the crappy cheap toys that they have 1000 of already. All the surprise toys tend to be of equal value, you don't get one REALLY expensive toy every now and then.

    • @novemberblake9505
      @novemberblake9505 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Also people but Kinder eggs for the chocolate aspect as well, no?
      Like you at least get something even if the toy wasn’t what you wanted

    • @robertbernard7844
      @robertbernard7844 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      And even if the toys aren't the ones you wanted, you can at least carry them to school or your friend's house and trade toys between each other. Something I haven't seen in ANY EA game.

    • @CryosisOfficial
      @CryosisOfficial ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@StreakyBaconMan While that may be true in the case of kinder eggs, most blind bag type products usually have rare figures (or cards, etc.) that are purposefully shortpacked.

  • @VideoGamesRus100
    @VideoGamesRus100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4449

    EA Logic: Getting shot is fun because it's a surprise and people like guns.

    • @johayes7529
      @johayes7529 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I'd love to own a gun. BUT I'd be tempted to shoot the people who make poker machine's. I'm the only non gambler living in Australia.

    • @hisokamorow1816
      @hisokamorow1816 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Jo Hayes I hate sport gambling ads in Australia. They’re everywhere

    • @Grey-The-Skeleton
      @Grey-The-Skeleton 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      School shooters be like

    • @rhn122
      @rhn122 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@johayes7529 gambling is such a stupid system anyway. If you learn statistics or data science then you would see much worse. Sadly people aren't quite probability-literate, or have been addicted to this piece of shit

    • @lred1383
      @lred1383 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@rhn122 Gamblers are fully aware of how unlikely they are to win. But it's this promise of a big payoff that keeps them going, they feel like the next time will be "the one" and they'll get millions. It really is an addiction.

  • @PinchOfLuck
    @PinchOfLuck 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1726

    OK. FROM NOW ON:
    It's not boycotting EA, It's performing a Surprise Money Saving.

    • @otterwingate7581
      @otterwingate7581 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I feel like a dumbass. I fell for the trap that is Sims 4, spent almost all of my first paycheck ever just to get half of the DLC. Thieving pricks

    • @aduzzz3322
      @aduzzz3322 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @Clay Goeke smart boi out here with the smarts

    • @dabalo3995
      @dabalo3995 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Clay Goeke It was a joke.

    • @otterwingate7581
      @otterwingate7581 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @Clay Goeke Jesus, man I was 17 and I was fond of the other Sims games growing up. Yeah I know I was an idiot for buying the DLC but that's called a mistake, one I regret dearly. There's no need to start having a go. Calm your tits

    • @bazooka93
      @bazooka93 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I want to believe.

  • @VahisMX
    @VahisMX 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5006

    I miss the old times when you could earn all in game things just by playing the game.

    • @PANZERFAUST90
      @PANZERFAUST90 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Yeah but the games were a lot smaller. Even the base games today have more content than the older games that didn't have anything extra to buy. Your argument Is invalid.

    • @VahisMX
      @VahisMX 4 ปีที่แล้ว +452

      @@PANZERFAUST90 Wut? How is it relevant which size the game is? That doesnt justify that you put items behind paywall.
      For example Halo3 didnt have a lot of customization options but all of them were achievable by playing challenges etc. If it Halo3 would be bigger game by modern standard doesnt mean you have to put those items in loot boxes, doesnt matter how many there are. Or if that is really the problem then maybe reduce the number of those items because they are irrelevant anyway.

    • @PANZERFAUST90
      @PANZERFAUST90 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@VahisMX because the games are still bigger overall
      If you don't think the game is adequate don't buy it.

    • @VahisMX
      @VahisMX 4 ปีที่แล้ว +291

      @@PANZERFAUST90 But what the size of the game has to do with loot boxes and paywall?

    • @PANZERFAUST90
      @PANZERFAUST90 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@VahisMX because you're still getting more for the same as you paid in the past for a smaller game

  • @peppermintmiso4341
    @peppermintmiso4341 3 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    She really tried to pull the "Ackshually they are not called lootboxes"
    then got slapped with the "Whatever you call them"

  • @itsme_nathan6301
    @itsme_nathan6301 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8280

    EA: They're not loot boxes, they're surprise mechanics
    Hitler invading poland: This isn't an invasion, its a surprise visit.

    • @thewrongcolor_1074
      @thewrongcolor_1074 5 ปีที่แล้ว +187

      Suprise move in

    • @mangored209
      @mangored209 5 ปีที่แล้ว +234

      Suprise occupation

    • @tenacity25
      @tenacity25 5 ปีที่แล้ว +101

      Nono, you've got it wrong.
      You're thinking of when he invaded Bohemia after taking the Sudetenland.
      That was L I T E R A L L Y a "surprise annexation, not war!" thing in history. No consent, no war, just SURPRISE! You're part of Germany now!

    • @tenacity25
      @tenacity25 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      @/dev/etresevo yes im stupid

    • @sewlfn
      @sewlfn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      lmao suprise we are here to move in

  • @YannerEeryoot
    @YannerEeryoot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +552

    "Do you consider lootboxes to be an ethical part of your business?"
    "Toys are popular"

    • @sigil3d
      @sigil3d 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Solid argument right there

    • @danielmarsden4573
      @danielmarsden4573 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Illegal drugs are also very popular

  • @ChiefDoggingfood
    @ChiefDoggingfood 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2128

    "It's not rape, it's surprise sex" is literally a 10 year old internet meme.
    EA's top lawyer has determined that a 10 year old internet meme is the best possible defense she can mount. Think about that one, boys.

    • @mista_fur3346
      @mista_fur3346 5 ปีที่แล้ว +70

      They're spending that money wisely.

    • @earthhuman192
      @earthhuman192 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      No

    • @JoeyJordison97
      @JoeyJordison97 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@earthhuman192 Yes

    • @earthhuman192
      @earthhuman192 5 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      @@JoeyJordison97 You're right, forgive me brother, I was blind to the truth.

    • @BandoBrando94
      @BandoBrando94 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Lmfao

  • @agamerstell
    @agamerstell 3 ปีที่แล้ว +214

    its oddly fitting that the girl who is defending ea looks like a sims charater

    • @Caleb_Squatongim
      @Caleb_Squatongim 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Why can’t they like, halve the prices of sims dlcs. They are so damn expensive.

    • @SylverScourge
      @SylverScourge 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Caleb_Squatongim they do often host sales for the EPs. Buying the bundles while on sale is much more reasonable (3 packs for 40$ give or take.)
      But to OP yes she does look exactly like an auto generated sim lmao.

    • @zuskull1
      @zuskull1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The only way I will ever support them is if I really want to play The Sims 4

    • @stormz9899
      @stormz9899 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      She looks cracked out.

    • @nikiindzhiev5369
      @nikiindzhiev5369 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Caleb_Squatongim anadius is your friend

  • @purpleperson417
    @purpleperson417 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3620

    A kinder egg doesn’t have insane loot tables, all of the toys are equal, you don’t keep getting a car toy, but then after 30 times you get a rare rubixs cube

    • @iM7SnaKe
      @iM7SnaKe 4 ปีที่แล้ว +196

      Actually you are paying for the chocolate and the surprise is something more

    • @darkin1484
      @darkin1484 4 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      bit bad comparison. Should've gone with, youu dont keep getting a car toy, but after 50 times get an a Lambroghini Aventador.

    • @BlueTroll
      @BlueTroll 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      @@iM7SnaKe I pay for the wrapper.

    • @NahImBats
      @NahImBats 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@BlueTroll they come with wrappers?

    • @ArtisticallySpoken
      @ArtisticallySpoken 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Except with Kinder eggs you're paying for the candy rather than the toy.

  • @toddfromaccounting2034
    @toddfromaccounting2034 5 ปีที่แล้ว +729

    No officer that wasn’t a kidnapping, that was a surprise adoption

    • @rhyleymaster
      @rhyleymaster 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      No officer is wasn't rape, it was surprise sex!

    • @PerilousPrey
      @PerilousPrey 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      A wise man once said, "Surprise Buttsecks".

    • @Swagceus
      @Swagceus 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      #stolencomment

    • @madas1435
      @madas1435 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Swagceus why did you use a pound key

    • @f.b.lagent1113
      @f.b.lagent1113 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Texandeerhunter strangle snuggle

  • @RosieAnims
    @RosieAnims 5 ปีที่แล้ว +576

    “Are you letting children into this casino”
    “We don’t call it a casino, we call it a surprise mechanic building.”

    • @rib7236
      @rib7236 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      RosieAnims surprise! We're robbing you

    • @ryleygriggs9840
      @ryleygriggs9840 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      *Surprise Money Games

    • @KinreeveNaku
      @KinreeveNaku 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Surprise! We’re enabling your bad habit for business!

    • @creeperhunterD
      @creeperhunterD 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Murtons Because kids and mentally ill adults are the only people dumb enough to buy lootbox shit

    • @therecklessengineer5796
      @therecklessengineer5796 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      chucky chance

  • @gravity3412
    @gravity3412 3 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    “EA Sports, you pay to play”

    • @spicy_taco2267
      @spicy_taco2267 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      EA sports, it’s not in the game unless you pay for it

    • @Deitz153
      @Deitz153 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      “EA sports, it’s all the same”

    • @Pikpikcarrotzz
      @Pikpikcarrotzz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      EA sports, pay

    • @acidpoptart4270
      @acidpoptart4270 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      EA Sports, It's in the money!

    • @benjaminschmitt1562
      @benjaminschmitt1562 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      EA sports, you pay to pay

  • @DammitSinged
    @DammitSinged 5 ปีที่แล้ว +959

    _I hate it when a Kinder Egg turns my child into a pseudo gambling addict._

    • @cain_i_guess2541
      @cain_i_guess2541 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      And then just starts going to reservation casino and becomes a complete drunkard, bruh moment

    • @Kankooro
      @Kankooro 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      At least you get some good chocolate with your disappointment.

    • @MegaNightmare4
      @MegaNightmare4 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      I spend roughly $28000 a year on kinder eggs. I really want the action figure that comes with a parachute but I just keep getting race cars. I have to be getting closer though. I think at this point I'm limiting their stock.

    • @Luissv72
      @Luissv72 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Then parent your kid properly

    • @hazydoom69
      @hazydoom69 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yours too

  • @diagorasofmelos4345
    @diagorasofmelos4345 5 ปีที่แล้ว +802

    No officer, I did not stab this man. It was surprise surgery.

    • @MajesticHorseTongue
      @MajesticHorseTongue 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Sir, you obviously gave him an extra pocket.

    • @tdog5993
      @tdog5993 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That’s funny & savage as hell at the same time

    • @jetmaneheart3605
      @jetmaneheart3605 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      *surprise acupuncture*

    • @drunkdrop9193
      @drunkdrop9193 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      surprise incision*

    • @Gehegehee
      @Gehegehee 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      surprise blood extraction

  • @whyareyougae6031
    @whyareyougae6031 4 ปีที่แล้ว +252

    It's not perversion it's "surprise gentle caress at the inner thigh"

    • @lordlofus1399
      @lordlofus1399 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thats sexual harassment

    • @litlooees1884
      @litlooees1884 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@lordlofus1399 that’s what he said

    • @sillylittlejit
      @sillylittlejit 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Blizzard moment

  • @EvinlethCVorbelt
    @EvinlethCVorbelt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +463

    Officer: why did you attack this man?
    EA: I didnt attack that man, I simply suprise defended myself.

  • @noahgreczkowski7154
    @noahgreczkowski7154 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1559

    EA is like my Nigerian prince cousin
    You give them money and you get nothing back

    • @cyrille7490
      @cyrille7490 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      You get sadness

    • @dannyboy2005
      @dannyboy2005 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Just gotta wait a few years
      My cousin died I think but you will for sure get your money when he gets back on his feet

    • @KoolRanch
      @KoolRanch 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I remember watching a special on TV where a lady fell for that, gave people money for years and ended up taking out multiple mortgages. She still didn’t get the memo.

    • @romanbellic810
      @romanbellic810 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      At least I go bowling with my cousin.

    • @romanbellic810
      @romanbellic810 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@KoolRanch No Kate died.

  • @mjdjoy
    @mjdjoy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1928

    Kidnap? I prefer the term "surprise adoption".

    • @Dogfrey
      @Dogfrey 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Joy bruhhhh 😂

    • @alanflores2809
      @alanflores2809 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂😂😂😂

    • @btnagasaki3029
      @btnagasaki3029 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      imagine saying bruh and having a laughing emoji. get your fucking beta ass out of the way. us fucking alpha males say XD

    • @j.r.2674
      @j.r.2674 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      BTNagasaki Fr mans needs to update his system we ain’t on the BETA no more

    • @Oldboy2305
      @Oldboy2305 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Stolen comment

  • @arod762
    @arod762 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Her eyes are so wide open. You’d think she just saw Jesus driving a Jeep with an M16 in his left hand

    • @Evil481
      @Evil481 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You just explained America in that sentence

  • @dream1430
    @dream1430 5 ปีที่แล้ว +754

    “Kim doesn’t fart, he passes winds of peace “
    Lmaooo

    • @kevo300
      @kevo300 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Ask any north korean its facts 🤪

    • @burner1303
      @burner1303 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Surprise wind

    • @joshkilluminadi7158
      @joshkilluminadi7158 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lmao that made me laugh so hard i drooled

  • @alim.lateef4162
    @alim.lateef4162 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2766

    "Officer, it's wasn't rape, it was a surprise romantic time"

    • @metalrebel7506
      @metalrebel7506 5 ปีที่แล้ว +341

      Surprise struggle snuggle

    • @PHAToregon
      @PHAToregon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +170

      It’s not rape if you yell surprise first.

    • @roberts3423
      @roberts3423 5 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      Just a prank bruh!

    • @ivancuellar4290
      @ivancuellar4290 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Forcey fun time

    • @6213111566
      @6213111566 5 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      Ah yes the *struggle snuggle*
      *the bucker mcfucker*
      *surprise sex*
      *the Theodore Roosevelt supreme bonus*
      *dlc joke*
      *The anti vax re population procedure*
      *and lastly the little immigrant we all hold dearly in our pants from time to time*

  • @taxcollector6959
    @taxcollector6959 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4454

    Me: *kidnaps a 7 year old*
    Cops: we have a kidnapping
    Me: it's not a kidnapping, it's a surprise adoption.

    • @march.6323
      @march.6323 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      meme miester underrated

    • @stongray4893
      @stongray4893 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Surprise relocation*

    • @justaamateur6533
      @justaamateur6533 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      No one gives a fuck but this was copied from a 9 month old comment lol

    • @taxcollector6959
      @taxcollector6959 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@justaamateur6533 chill, this comment probably ain't gonna be noticed by like, 90% of this comment section

    • @limitless_j
      @limitless_j 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@justaamateur6533 literally found this comment liked it, scrolled down, found the old comment from 9 months ago which Id apparantly liked 9 months ago, scrolled back up, unliked this one

  • @redsteyexpert797
    @redsteyexpert797 3 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    I love the surprise of losing 500 dollars.

  • @kendalltisinger2587
    @kendalltisinger2587 5 ปีที่แล้ว +680

    "Do you think they're ethical"
    "Yes I think they're ethical"
    "So you think they're ethical"
    "You're recharacterizing my language"

    • @kevo300
      @kevo300 5 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      Being ethical is a suprise mechanic?

    • @tomshraderd4915
      @tomshraderd4915 5 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      "You make it sound like I said they're ethical, when all I said was that they were ethical."

    • @PHAToregon
      @PHAToregon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Kendall Tisinger 😂

    • @vulekv93
      @vulekv93 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tomshraderd4915 *not unethical

    • @blazeofglory4053
      @blazeofglory4053 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Don't make fun of her, she's *"SPECIAL"*

  • @kriskropd
    @kriskropd 5 ปีที่แล้ว +271

    With any luck, eventually,
    Feds: "It's not a lawsuit and criminal charges - it's a surprise obstacle."

    • @berserkerpride
      @berserkerpride 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Surprise federal taxes.

    • @dominus9366
      @dominus9366 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@berserkerpride lol im dead

  • @HTPCYMC
    @HTPCYMC 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1473

    _You can’t spell “steal” without EA._

    • @samotto9596
      @samotto9596 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      How to properly clean your metal computer I saw you on H3H3 video. Love you

    • @massivelegend3599
      @massivelegend3599 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      R E A L L Y

    • @notajtag4568
      @notajtag4568 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      You can’t spell “steal” without comment...Oh wait.

    • @GermaphobeMusic
      @GermaphobeMusic 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      you can't spell steal without stal, the worst minecraft music disc

    • @CarnageExecutioner
      @CarnageExecutioner 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      How to properly clean your metal computer, Justin Y, and somali pirate whos actually somali are the holy trinity of the youtube comment section.

  • @yashganar9794
    @yashganar9794 3 ปีที่แล้ว +185

    "Kim Jong-un doesn't fart, he just passes winds of peace"
    ------ A Wise TH-camr

  • @subwolfe5296
    @subwolfe5296 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4011

    I didn’t kill anyone officer I just made post birth abortion

    • @stfuRq
      @stfuRq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      I love that name

    • @chrizze6542
      @chrizze6542 3 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      "Post birth abortion" Funniest shit my guy.

    • @Subpar1224
      @Subpar1224 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Surprise post birth abortion for all the random ran over civilians

    • @cacophonousantiquarian8803
      @cacophonousantiquarian8803 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Virginia already coined that term

    • @walrusnation2496
      @walrusnation2496 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Free of charge as well

  • @VinceTheCreatorr
    @VinceTheCreatorr 5 ปีที่แล้ว +330

    Also EA:
    "That cocaine in my nostril isn't mine. I don't accept that as evidence against me."

    • @kevo300
      @kevo300 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      The cocaine is a suprise mechanic for the CEO and that lawyer woman

    • @ah.1190
      @ah.1190 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      "First, We don't call it cocaine. We prefer the term powdered dopamine supplements"

    • @simpingfornahida8603
      @simpingfornahida8603 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ah.1190 This one killed me! 😆

  • @gamerito100
    @gamerito100 5 ปีที่แล้ว +475

    "It's not gambling is 'Surprise Addiction' "

  • @zoltankiss3737
    @zoltankiss3737 4 ปีที่แล้ว +149

    Microtransactions then:
    "Oh, you bought our model castle? We have since created a decorative moat for it, which you can buy directly from us!"
    Microtransactions EA style:
    "Oh, you bought our model castle? Surprise! That's only 5% of it! You can buy the rest of the castle from us, but you have a chance to buy the same parts over and over! Isn't that fun?

    • @CygnusTheSilly
      @CygnusTheSilly 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Actually EA invented microtransactions so they were always bad it's just that other companies decided to not be as horrible as EA

    • @carlwheezerofsouls3273
      @carlwheezerofsouls3273 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@CygnusTheSilly im pretty sure mobile games invented microtransactions, but yes.

    • @CygnusTheSilly
      @CygnusTheSilly 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@carlwheezerofsouls3273 no fifa 9 did it

    • @carlwheezerofsouls3273
      @carlwheezerofsouls3273 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@CygnusTheSilly shit u rite

    • @stankobarabata2406
      @stankobarabata2406 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@carlwheezerofsouls3273 No way in hell did mobile games do that first. I remember crossfire, not many westerners know this game but it's quite popular in asian countries, and that game already had lootboxes and exorbitant microtransactions. Mind you this is like 2008-2010. Most mainstream companies didn't even know microtransactions existed, let alone lootboxes.
      Asian games primarily did that shit, they *love* pay to win models. And Asian gamers for some reason don't say anything about it.

  • @JayMiV
    @JayMiV 5 ปีที่แล้ว +535

    Still like Yong's analogy best (paraphrased) "I'm not robbing a bank, this is a surprise withdrawal".

    • @Sizifus
      @Sizifus 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Unsanctioned and unorthodox borrowing scheme from a local credit deposit, known as a bank, of an undefined sum of $1.02's that is frowned upon by the personnel of such facility.

    • @lemmegetuuh7716
      @lemmegetuuh7716 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Dude I loved that one

    • @brunop.8745
      @brunop.8745 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I laughed the most at "surprise funeral"

    • @burgbass
      @burgbass 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Yong is that gamer circlejerk dude right?

    • @christiancinnabars1402
      @christiancinnabars1402 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      3biscuit 2 Impossible. You can’t steal a joke. That was a surprise borrowing.

  • @AK-es9dn
    @AK-es9dn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +716

    In the words of Forrest Gump:
    "Life is like surprise mechanics. You never know what you're gonna get."

    • @mv3380
      @mv3380 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This should have more likes, awesome comment.

    • @alexanderm8975
      @alexanderm8975 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      EA is more like, you’ll never get what you wanna get

    • @alterego9791
      @alterego9791 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I swear i thought he said "Life's" not "Life is" (ik he said the latter i checked it but it seems so candid)

    • @zackpowers8488
      @zackpowers8488 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Bruno from jojo

    • @alexanderm8975
      @alexanderm8975 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Zack Powers
      yare yare

  • @nazauwu6431
    @nazauwu6431 5 ปีที่แล้ว +521

    the game wasnt rushed the devs just had a surprise release date

    • @rambu3013
      @rambu3013 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      About your name...
      Why?

    • @dankdank7088
      @dankdank7088 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@rambu3013 lolololol

    • @forbiddenyang
      @forbiddenyang 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@dankdank7088 look at all these fake accounts lol

    • @MrBuash
      @MrBuash 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      -and people enjoy it.

    • @fluffyjello
      @fluffyjello 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's a surprise release.

  • @savysmarty8621
    @savysmarty8621 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    “I don’t know what your version of target is”
    I don’t know why but that sentence hit me weird

    • @monkydance2880
      @monkydance2880 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yea wtf

    • @IceBlueLugia
      @IceBlueLugia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      In fairness that was the most reasonable thing she said. I have no clue whether Target exists in the UK, so I’d say the same thing

  • @shidelerdantheogre8487
    @shidelerdantheogre8487 5 ปีที่แล้ว +575

    When Ted Bundy was representing himself in court he should’ve just said “everything I did was fun and ethical”

    • @this_is_patrick
      @this_is_patrick 5 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      Don't forget the "Your Honor, I disagree with the evidences the police found against me"
      Guaranteed they gon release him.

    • @wooshifdumb3637
      @wooshifdumb3637 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Shidelerdan The ogre it’s surprise afterlife

    • @philmccracken9553
      @philmccracken9553 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      69TH LIKE!!!

    • @nathanialfrancis4645
      @nathanialfrancis4645 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Omg people that remember "married with children"
      God's in my eyes

    • @basedokadaizo
      @basedokadaizo 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nathanialfrancis4645 no, not Al Bundy. Al Bundy was close to snapping into a serial killer though.

  • @TheHipisterDeer
    @TheHipisterDeer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +700

    Officer : Is that a gun?
    Guy : No it's a confetti lead dispenser

    • @retard3448
      @retard3448 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      It's a surprise rock dispenser

    • @LaskyLabs
      @LaskyLabs 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      A surprise funeral starter.

    • @Pineconic
      @Pineconic 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I refrained from liking due to a quite epic number being there that symbolizes a quite not-evil beast

  • @DannySMAllenSJ
    @DannySMAllenSJ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +333

    Casinos are now opening for children. An owner had this to say "They're not gambling, it's a surprise."

    • @iridescentdemon
      @iridescentdemon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Omg your dp gave me elementary school flashbacks

    • @metalrebel7506
      @metalrebel7506 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Casino dlc gta V

    • @DannySMAllenSJ
      @DannySMAllenSJ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@metalrebel7506 Fallout: New Vegas 3, because we gambled, I mean, surprised 2 away.

    • @DannySMAllenSJ
      @DannySMAllenSJ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Murtons Children, adults, elderly all can suffer from gambling addiction. But loot boxes are aimed for everyone. Why do you think EA removed them? They had a lot of backlash from it.

    • @DannySMAllenSJ
      @DannySMAllenSJ 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Murtons That's because nobody wants a child to get an addiction. They're too young and they have a life ahead of them. Gambling addiction, or many other forms of addiction will drag them down and it's hard for them to get back up.

  • @horaryzappy
    @horaryzappy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    "We don't call them loot boxes"
    *yes, yes you do. Everyone does*

  • @reoshuu
    @reoshuu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2360

    Me: Stop robbing banks
    EA logic: Its not called robbing banks, its called a surprise withdraw

  • @sky10456
    @sky10456 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1473

    "EA game, its in your ass."
    Thank you, someone that meets my vision.

    • @SRTyler392
      @SRTyler392 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Apparently you've never seen the "EA's dick....its in your ass" meme from long before this video

  • @nominis4523
    @nominis4523 4 ปีที่แล้ว +842

    I thought "surprise mechanics" was just a meme, I didn't know an EA representative actually said that.

    • @owenc585
      @owenc585 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Yeah same

    • @MisterSchitt
      @MisterSchitt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      It is a meme. Because her stupid ass actually thought calling it something else would work.

    • @Blappy1000
      @Blappy1000 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same

    • @lenarratorsocietyofsuperio2731
      @lenarratorsocietyofsuperio2731 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      it's not a meme, it's an internet joke

    • @j.g.3293
      @j.g.3293 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Charge full price for a burger but only get the buns and the patty. Cheese and toppings are DLCs. Additional seasonings and condiments from randomized “surprise packets”. It’s usually salt but if you’re lucky a buy a shitload, you might get chili flakes. You can only get ketchup if purchased from Best Buy OR mustard if from GameStop. Not both. You can only qualify for fries if you preorder

  • @mrmeowsermoney
    @mrmeowsermoney 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    John Wilks Booth: It's not assassination, it's a surprise change in leadership!

  • @kabobawsome
    @kabobawsome 5 ปีที่แล้ว +356

    "I'm not mugging you, this is a surprise donation."

  • @platonzarykhta6940
    @platonzarykhta6940 5 ปีที่แล้ว +228

    Court: Where's your lawyer
    EA: Oh, that's in the deluxe edition pre-order bonus

    • @Guts_Brando
      @Guts_Brando 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lmfao

    • @caccreasey9315
      @caccreasey9315 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      True

    • @HolyPetRel
      @HolyPetRel 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      these replies are just as robotic as the lady in the video

    • @user-mq1ng6sj7b
      @user-mq1ng6sj7b 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@HolyPetRel They are not replies, they are surprise responses

  • @orangedonut
    @orangedonut 5 ปีที่แล้ว +663

    I think Yong's example is hilarious,
    "It's not murder, its a surprise funeral"

    • @MarcellDAvis1103
      @MarcellDAvis1103 5 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Or "It's not a robbery, it's a suprise withdrawl!"

    • @muhammadfauzan5916
      @muhammadfauzan5916 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Its not pizza... its di... no...
      *Its GIORNO GIOVANNA and we wish him good luck on his adventure upon gaining a GANG-STAR profile in Passione*

    • @blakechandler167
      @blakechandler167 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      That one is actually really good

    • @wufflemuffin9197
      @wufflemuffin9197 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Muhammad Fauzan is that a JoJo reference?

    • @BrandonAltz
      @BrandonAltz 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Muhammad Fauzan you ruined it

  • @PopLadd
    @PopLadd 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    3:22
    "Let's say you buy the Star Wars K'Nex set that has the Millennium..."
    *Come on Charles*
    "eh-"
    *You got this buddy*
    "b- the Millennium Ass-Beater"
    *You tried*

  • @Whispurer
    @Whispurer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +874

    I wasn't brutally assaulted and disfigured, my body was 'surprise altered'.

    • @GIitchclan12
      @GIitchclan12 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Surprise cultural enrichment.

    • @CrittingOut
      @CrittingOut 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@GIitchclan12 yes

    • @mookapooka9408
      @mookapooka9408 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      My body underwent a surprise alteration* that way you sound more intellectual

    • @Meeuuw
      @Meeuuw 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@mookapooka9408 " that way you sound more intellectual", and that way you sound more like an asshole.

    • @kakarrotcake6991
      @kakarrotcake6991 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Meeuuw it’s only an asshole move if you announce that you’re an intellectual after constructing a decent sentence.

  • @jacobibarra4175
    @jacobibarra4175 5 ปีที่แล้ว +612

    " I did not rob this bank, I only made a surprise withdrawal" cmon EA 😭😂

    • @earrapemusic3190
      @earrapemusic3190 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Yongyea!

    • @jacobibarra4175
      @jacobibarra4175 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@earrapemusic3190 what is yongyea?😂 am I missing something here lmao

    • @serryjeinfeld1829
      @serryjeinfeld1829 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Coincidental Yongyea reference?

    • @briateloyt
      @briateloyt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      yongyea c:

    • @tokisugar
      @tokisugar 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jacob Ibarra TH-camr

  • @yuzumaxwell
    @yuzumaxwell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2004

    As Hitler once said:
    "The Holocaust isn't a genocide, it's a surprise relocation of an entire race!"

    • @bremea8975
      @bremea8975 4 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      A surprise final solution

    • @ABCefgy
      @ABCefgy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      @Schicksal Schicksal highway to hell

    • @aa-to6ws
      @aa-to6ws 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@ABCefgy *rock music **_intensifies_*

    • @lefftee9721
      @lefftee9721 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      6 million heaven content creator codes

    • @nahboi483
      @nahboi483 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Schicksal Schicksal to hell*

  • @LordyT34
    @LordyT34 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Sometimes I come back to this just to see this guy absolutely dunk on EA

  • @FillsGoodMan
    @FillsGoodMan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +387

    I believe this is "lawyer" talk, basically not saying specific words so that others can't use it against them in court.

    • @benny_lemon5123
      @benny_lemon5123 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      "You're mischaracterising my words. I didn't say that" - corpspeak
      "Correct. In fact, it took you fifteen goddamn minutes to say *nothing at all* " -me reacting to corpspeak
      In reality I was shocked to hear she actually admitted to the negative in the end. I wonder how flustered or done she had to be before she spat that out.

    • @GeorgeCowsert
      @GeorgeCowsert 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Honestly I hate the fact that lawyerspeak has gotten so pervasive in things like terms of service.
      I wish all laws, rules, regulations, contracts, etc were legally required to be written and organized in an understandable and comprehensive fashion.
      Unfortunately the cutthroat lawyers up at the top won't let that kinda crap fly since it makes it easier to spot loopholes or where someone paid for a loophole.

    • @jaguarr314
      @jaguarr314 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      yep

    • @shibahyperion7635
      @shibahyperion7635 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      By no means do I agree with anything EA is doing, but I noticed what she pointed out as well. "Recharacterizing my words" was in the sense that, unlike what Charlie said "Do you believe these are ethical?" He asked something with a more imposing and negative connotation and tone "so you have no qualms *whatsoever* about this being unethical?"
      Charlie's way of saying it is more subjective and fair. I can tell that the one questioning her was probably someone on the prosecuting side.

  • @DannyBlazor
    @DannyBlazor 5 ปีที่แล้ว +633

    No I did not forget to pull out
    It was a surprise pregnancy

    • @smolder6366
      @smolder6366 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      underrated comment.

    • @nathanialfrancis4645
      @nathanialfrancis4645 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@smolder6366
      Not like it has 200+ likes or anything

    • @car8740
      @car8740 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@nathanialfrancis4645 there's more liked comments with unfunny jokes than this, is underrated

    • @ZarisWhiteFoot
      @ZarisWhiteFoot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It's not sexual assault. It's surprise butt secks

    • @jeromeevans8501
      @jeromeevans8501 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      All the incels smashing that like button

  • @K4rmalApples
    @K4rmalApples 5 ปีที่แล้ว +836

    "Sir it seems that all evidence points to you committing this crime, how do you plead?"
    "Your honor, I disagree with the evidence so I plead innocent"
    "Well shit, you're free to go then, impeccable logic my friend."

    • @mrjohnnyk
      @mrjohnnyk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      This was a good presentation of "if civil court worked like corporate court"

    • @ILikeToLaughAtYou
      @ILikeToLaughAtYou 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      “See, in my opinion, those car radios already belonged to me, therefore I was not stealing, rather was retrieving back personal property stolen from ME.”

  • @itsmejcaleb4279
    @itsmejcaleb4279 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    "Kim Jung-Un doesn't fart, he only passes winds of peace"
    One of my favorite quotes from charlie.

  • @HarrisBoe
    @HarrisBoe 5 ปีที่แล้ว +551

    “We disagree with the evidence”
    *Thats not how evidence works*

    • @the_furry_inside_your_walls639
      @the_furry_inside_your_walls639 5 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      @@user-oh6gz9er6h That's not how bitches work.

    • @KinreeveNaku
      @KinreeveNaku 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That’s not how facts work!

    • @KipForce
      @KipForce 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Warren Mulvaney there's a suburb outside my city named after u

    • @mrjohnnyk
      @mrjohnnyk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      *police find a bloody knife with your fingerprints on it after they responded to a stabbing
      "sorry officer but I disagree with that evidence so you have to let me go"

    • @inoob26
      @inoob26 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Technically that's how it works but doesn't matter when EA is wrong in every possible way about it

  • @benjamindenac172
    @benjamindenac172 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1640

    OJ Simpson: it’s not murder
    it’s surprise divorce

  • @shaunlevin5081
    @shaunlevin5081 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8737

    US: Its not an invasion. Its surprise democracy.

    • @lebruv915
      @lebruv915 4 ปีที่แล้ว +563

      its not communism, its mandatory sharing

    • @alperakyuz9702
      @alperakyuz9702 4 ปีที่แล้ว +441

      @@lebruv915 its not communism, its surprise lack of food.

    • @plutarchvonpluto6439
      @plutarchvonpluto6439 4 ปีที่แล้ว +361

      It's not colonialism, it's surprise exploitation.

    • @alperakyuz9702
      @alperakyuz9702 4 ปีที่แล้ว +253

      @@plutarchvonpluto6439 it is not invasion, it is surprise change of management

    • @jx7945
      @jx7945 4 ปีที่แล้ว +137

      Just passing through boys. Pay me no heed.

  • @deadizbetter
    @deadizbetter 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Kids: Spend 1000$ to get a rare weapon.
    EA: omg your being so healthy

    • @Type75Advance
      @Type75Advance 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Parents be like: But you are poor with discipline

    • @lamegamertime
      @lamegamertime 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Type75Advance EA: Why, it's an educational game. It's teaching him discipline! And how to spend money properly >:)

  • @Charles37400
    @Charles37400 5 ปีที่แล้ว +640

    As a great comedian once said "we'll stop beating this dead horse when it stops spitting out money"

    • @Longsword.
      @Longsword. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      i think that's Bo Burnham's quote.

    • @Longsword.
      @Longsword. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      @V-Rex >implying Bo isn't great

    • @Longsword.
      @Longsword. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Its sad that you have nothing to do in your life but to harass people for your taste for comedy

    • @Longsword.
      @Longsword. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      @V-Rex atleast im not being petty and baiting people lol

    • @hahahaha-ut6ir
      @hahahaha-ut6ir 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      You can always tell when someone doesn't know enough good comics by the way the reference george carlin and steve Martin. Two of the biggest comics ever. Dug deep in the archives for those names right?

  • @Eira_
    @Eira_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +265

    "Ah yes the Surprise Mechanics™ are very Ethical™ and very Fun™"

  • @tylerraven4597
    @tylerraven4597 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2441

    EA: remember when the racing games and stuff we made were fun?
    Everyone: yea
    EA: that’ll be $5.99 for the nostalgic memories package

    • @shronkler1994
      @shronkler1994 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      oof

    • @laynedoe3455
      @laynedoe3455 4 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      @Keigan Noel ""we are sorry, your card has been declined- and in turn, so is your subscription to the virtual MMORPG game titled: "your pathetic fucking life".
      You will receive an email containing the date and time of your death, thank you for playing our game!
      ~EA"

    • @BunsGlazing768
      @BunsGlazing768 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@shronkler1994 How did you get that name >:c
      I want

    • @Urban_Goose
      @Urban_Goose 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Another 59.99$ to read a comment and 19.99$ to post a comment and 29.99$ to reply to a comment

    • @Urban_Goose
      @Urban_Goose 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@BunsGlazing768 then y don't u make that your name

  • @SpaceMissile
    @SpaceMissile 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    "Surprise! _You've been robbed."_ -EA

  • @wonderbread5565
    @wonderbread5565 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2258

    It's not Pirating EA Games, It's utilising FREE Demos. 👍

    • @gordonschnick12
      @gordonschnick12 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Free demos you have to be careful not to trip the anti piracy software, like the nonstop drunk cam in GTA 4

    • @Tezmex77
      @Tezmex77 5 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      @@gordonschnick12 Usually those anti piracy things are bypassed really fast

    • @CordellPotts
      @CordellPotts 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    • @jakdaxter6033
      @jakdaxter6033 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @Flare Already been pirating their stuff for a few years lol. Only thing I bought from them was BF4 for like $10 and, well I got bf1 for free with my xbone so I guess that doesn't count...

    • @Slimy_Rat
      @Slimy_Rat 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Surprise sales losses!

  • @Dungpie64
    @Dungpie64 5 ปีที่แล้ว +245

    "It's not piracy your honour! It's just a surprise discount!"

    • @MCLegionaire
      @MCLegionaire 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This made me laugh way too much xD

    • @metalema6
      @metalema6 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      EA has officially launched surprise discounts for everyone!

    • @adeldell8275
      @adeldell8275 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      god bless piracy it's better to try garbage games for free before you waste 60$

  • @joonefps
    @joonefps 4 ปีที่แล้ว +840

    “Dismissed, come back tomorrow for the verdict.”
    “Actually sir, we’re charging $15.99 to come to tomorrow’s verdict.”

    • @TheContinuation
      @TheContinuation 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Damn it, this was a good one, for me at least

    • @thebeyonder8814
      @thebeyonder8814 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂 good one 👍

    • @jgsh8062
      @jgsh8062 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is a UK parliament select committee meeting, not court

    • @j.c._gaming4671
      @j.c._gaming4671 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Verdict DLC

    • @yestheinternetexplorer
      @yestheinternetexplorer 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thats how they get 'em

  • @jayb9310
    @jayb9310 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Nowhere is safe.
    The Sims. Plants Versus Zombies. StarWars BattleFront. Damn, they might even take over Slime Rancher or Subnautica soon.
    Ea consumes all.

    • @ScaredCat4
      @ScaredCat4 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Not my favourite bouncing, smiling, jelly slimes.

    • @sir5434
      @sir5434 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Star wars battlefront 2 is actually pretty good now

  • @captainep38
    @captainep38 5 ปีที่แล้ว +224

    “I play pot of greed and draw two cards!”
    He says as he draws pot of greed twice.

    • @barrontrump3943
      @barrontrump3943 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Also plays Jar of Greed

    • @James11111
      @James11111 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Atleast you can then play them both and know you won't get Pot Of Greed again since you can only have up to 3 of the same card in a deck.

    • @brunop.8745
      @brunop.8745 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@James11111 yeah, drawing 2 Pot of Greeds is actually a good thing, you get 4 cards for free

  • @N00BSYBORG
    @N00BSYBORG 5 ปีที่แล้ว +591

    "Loot boxes aren't gambling. They're surprise mechanics."
    You mean like slot machines?
    "UUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

    • @AfferbeckBeats
      @AfferbeckBeats 5 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      The surprise is crippling debt!

    • @oxitape1563
      @oxitape1563 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Executive Producer
      Larry David

    • @VoidBL
      @VoidBL 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's technically not gambling you don't get anything monetary out of them. If you end up buying them you should know you get nothing it's basically you lost money automatically.

    • @MrAndor982
      @MrAndor982 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      G found the jew

    • @Anisometry
      @Anisometry 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Texandeerhunter if only the disappointment was a surprise

  • @michaelmcarthur2944
    @michaelmcarthur2944 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1102

    The way she says "we" makes her sound like she's part of a hive mind.

    • @powerlifting1012
      @powerlifting1012 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      People do that with sports to

    • @zhizhao7915
      @zhizhao7915 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      Well shes representing EA???

    • @pikihoes4345
      @pikihoes4345 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      T H E F L O O D (im halo trash)

    • @maxieprimo2758
      @maxieprimo2758 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Or a company?

    • @antwall9890
      @antwall9890 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      what says she isnt

  • @blacksaltscotland
    @blacksaltscotland 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Either the USA has some different kinder chocolate or Charlie has officially lost at least 78% of his marbles.

    • @RepressedMemories16
      @RepressedMemories16 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      The ones I had while growing up, were often left on the shelf so long that the chocolate no longer really tasted sweet, more chalky. Plus most kids would shake them (I cannot say I didnt do this at one point) would shake them to try guess the prize. So you would also often find a shattered egg. Granted havent had them in over a decade but that was my experience.

  • @zetabravo
    @zetabravo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +164

    EA: We didn't shutdown the well known and competent video game companies that we bought, its just "surprise unemployment."

    • @sebjink.9037
      @sebjink.9037 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You can't make that sound good in any way.

    • @x3seal133
      @x3seal133 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Pirating isnt stealing,It just sharing.
      *Soviet Anthem Plays*

    • @taloob493
      @taloob493 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@sebjink.9037 it's surprise redistribution of labor

    • @PDuo
      @PDuo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@sebjink.9037 Surprise vacation

  • @mrpantshitter
    @mrpantshitter 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2065

    My friend is genuinely addicted to CSGO. He's spent thousands of dollars on it in one sitting before. It's absolutely gambling

    • @lukeevans1945
      @lukeevans1945 4 ปีที่แล้ว +256

      I spent £1.47 on a key to a box got a shit thing worth 20 pence and can't bring myself to spend any more on the crates hope your friend gets help though.

    • @avramcs
      @avramcs 4 ปีที่แล้ว +137

      @@lukeevans1945 Thats honestly what it is, the lucky ones that don't get case opening addictions rolled dogshit on their first case

    • @Smokey298
      @Smokey298 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      That is absurd.

    • @SqualidsargeStudios
      @SqualidsargeStudios 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Csgo is a shit game, fortshite is a decease that is really damn hard to get rid of it, and high possibility to return when gone temporarily.

    • @dickyarya8204
      @dickyarya8204 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Now that makes me think, does lootboxes in free to play games acceptable? I mean that's the only way the dev can get revenue, and in csgo case it wouldn't make no differences to the game

  • @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache
    @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache 5 ปีที่แล้ว +587

    *"It's not genocide, I call it mercy."*

    • @alexflorczyk6531
      @alexflorczyk6531 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Get a moustache fool

    • @oxitape1563
      @oxitape1563 5 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      “The strongest choices require the strongest wills.”

    • @MonsieurBig
      @MonsieurBig 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Not liking the new pfp

    • @everardosalvador-martinez49
      @everardosalvador-martinez49 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Surprise extinction

    • @km5405
      @km5405 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ''what did it take?''

  • @skyr3x
    @skyr3x 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I didnt commit third degree vehicular manslaughter, it was a surprise driveby

  • @taylorsmurphy
    @taylorsmurphy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +250

    I disagree with the evidence that our product is bad.
    "So you recognize that there is evidence that your product is bad."