My wife and I are very open with each other about our finances - mind you we don't quiz each other on every purchase, either. We NEVER tell anyone else about our savings or expenses. If we did, our families would start a conversation "well if you have that much, why don't you buy ...". Or it can bring smirks or other petty jealousies. It saves a lot of conflict.
My wife and in-laws are naturally frugal and very organized people. I understand the tradition to not openly discuss specifics of money for extended family unless there is a need to know. I have no doubt that my wife's parents have done well and have a decent retirement portfolio. They have no idea what our specifics are financially but they know we are doing ok and have a paid off house and no debt.
The other piece of context to consider is that generally when younger guys (which is the only demographic I can speak to authoritatively) have this conversation, there is an IMPLIED comparison going on. Rounding up income, investments, savings, or the price paid for things is part of that verbal duel. It's not good, or healthy, but it's the way it kinda goes sometimes. If you admit to bargain shopping, or say that you make a penny less than the person you're talking to, the conversation changes in a way that is not favorable for the honest person. Guys can get REAL didactic and condescending REAL quick. Best to just say whatever gets you out of the room. Great stuff as always, Erin! Thank you!
I absolutely agree about being on the same page with your partner. We had a VERY pointed conversation when we were first married after a generous gift was bestoyed on a family member and I was informed AFTER it happened. Its never happened again!..:)
Nope, nope, nope, none of those or any others I can recall. As you said Erin, it's either the truth or I won't discuss the matter with that particular individual . That is typically online, where I won't give details. I don't think that is smart or safe.
Erin, Love your show!!! I have a question for you. Is there a difference between a money market account and a high yield saving account? Is one better than the other? Would love to have your input and opinion. Thanks!
Kinda funny how during my younger years I would ROUND UP my salary/income if I was talking to close family/friends….I guess to show off maybe?…..but as I got older and income/Net worth went UP…..by a lot….I did the total opposite……I would actually want them to not be jealous or not try to expect “more” out of me……example is I’ve been mortgage free since 2010 but still bring up my $800 monthly mortgage payment……(even though that is still an extremely LOW mortgage payment to come to think of it….haha)……is it getting wiser with age?
Taking on debt without telling your partner seems self-defeating. It would obviously be better to let them know where the household finances are so they can help come up with a plan with you. Same with the secret joint savings dipping.
I was on a business trip years ago and there was a woman ahead of me at the rental counter. She was dressed head to toe in Gucci and had an expensive purse. When it came time to pay for her rental all her cards were denied and she was just plain stuck...
I am guilty of being inaccurate or giving ball park information due to my own vague memories. I have incorporated using words indicating I'm inaccurate like "about" or "approximately." I have also kept how much I make at work secret or rounded down as I make more than most. We are doing well financially but yes I definitely make it a point to talk to my wife about any decisions or financial matters even if she doesn't seem to want to know. I just strive to keep it honest and concise.
We (my wife and I) have lied to ourselves a few times about our income and when our home will be paid off. It is just a little game we play to not over spend.
Interesting list. We have multiple accounts that can be divided into 3 buckets (his, hers, ours). The "Ours" accounts are joint accounts where we each put money for things like mortgages, grocery shopping, joint-owned properties and investments, etc. The individual accounts are for individual savings, checking, and investments. It lets us handle our personal spending and investment habits without friction. We both have access to each other's statements, so there are no secrets. Our salaries have been identical for decades. This division has worked for us for over 40 years, so we are not changing. BTW, we have been deciding which chairs to buy for our formal living room for over a year. The room is hardly ever used so we both want something nice, but not too expensive. But we have had a disagreement over colors.
Actually Pasties come from Cornwall in the UK (first mentioned the 1200s). They were backed by the Wives of the tin miners so their Hubbies could hold them easily with dirty hands. Cornish pasties are also delicious..:)
I remember first hearing about pasties on a trip to the UK, so was suprised when Erin mentioned them in the US. I have never hear the term used in the US.
They have as Cornish pasties even to AZ --- several shops have them here. while i don't know anyone specifically from Michiga, I will have to ask my friends from Wisconsin if they have them.
Another unique and informative video with some great advice. Thanks Erin! (And I agree wholeheartedly about the pasties. Well made, they are delicious!)
Oh no! We have an agreement to keep my savings a secret. He is paycheck to paycheck spender. When a big emergency happens, he knows I'll have it, and he'll pay back his half in payments. If he knew, there would be nothing in savings lol
Same here! She's not a great saver, we both know that, so that's a place I can contribute to our relationship. Doesn't feel like a LIE so much as a...mutually agreed removal of temptation.
If my partner (not married) knew what I had in savings, he would find some emergency to extract it. Nope....he figures things out and I'll kick in my half if it's a household need
I also keep a savings account on the side, my wife sometimes goes berserk with her online shopping so I can be sure we can easily cover those expenses.
Same here. Finally came to an agreement to strictly use a budget and that saved my sanity. I am the cheapest person alive so I am probably difficult to live with for a person who likes to spend if its "in the budget". The budget protects me while simultaneously permitting the spender of the relationship to access some goodies.
With the exception of getting out of social events, all of these are bad ideas. My wife and I have a series of checks and balances built into our financial life. For example, I pay the bills, and she balances the accounts. So everyone has eyes on the money. We don't spend a lot of money without discussing it first. I can't imagine trying to have a relationship while lying about money. That seems like the wrong way to build a life!
It's no wonder that finances are a leading cause of divorce - so many feel the need to lie about it. I get not divulging personal matters to those outside your household, but when it's between partners in a marriage, there can be no substitute for 100% transparency... because, even then, there will be challenges around priorities, values, etc. But you at least have a fighting chance to address those challenges when you're open about the facts.
Before I got engaged to my now ex-wife, I made sure we had an honest discussion about where we were financially and where we wanted to go. If I ever remarry I'll do the same.
I was saving for retirement through my work 403B…. I wasn’t really keeping my wife updated on the growing balance until one day she looked at the computer screen while I was looking at it… needless to say she was pleasantly surprised.
Nah. Not in me to lie. You look good. Being a mom agreeing with you I gather? I’m in Portugal headed out on a 2 week cruise. Bargains are great when you find them 😎
Honesty is the best policy, but you can avoid a lot of awkward discussions by practicing stealth wealth. I pass as an ordinary human pretty well, IMO, so folks rarely ask and I rarely have to answer.
great phrase - i've always been frugal and very up front about money spent with my friends, most of whom I've known for 20-40+ years --- they know when i'm considering cost so we normally will shift to lower cost (sometimes - rarely - higher cost) alternatives, so not sure I can use it myself.
I’m totally guilty of telling my husband that something costs less than it actually does because he still thinks everything is priced in 1980’s pricing and I’m not exaggerating! I don’t often have to fudge but I do at times. We do very well, save at least 60-70% of our income and have no debt including our home. We’re pretty simple and our expenses are low. I handle the finances like a hawk which is why we’ve done well. If he knew I spent $100 on a pair of shoes for example I think he might pass out! What you don’t know can’t hurt you 😉 Cheers!
😂😂 I remember asking my dad for a new pair of running shoes when I as in high school - they were about $100. "He was like no-way! Who would spend $100 on a pair of shoes?" I will happily spend on good running shoes - I want to protect my feet! You enjoy your shoes!
@@ErinTalksMoney Amen to that! It’s how we get around so in my/our estimation, good supportive shoes are an essential investment. Particularly our workout shoes! I learned this the hard way (maybe you too) when I was trying to be frugal buying my workout shoes at TJ Maxx and Marshals trying to stay within my $50.00 perceived reasonable price range. Almost damaged my feet permanently before I got smart and had my feet properly measured and fitted at my local running store. My husband does know how much I spend on my workout shoes and has thankfully accepted the cost! Thanks Erin for your financial wisdom and insight. You produce helpful, thought provoking content and I’ve recommended your channel to family and friends who will listen! Keep up the great work!
When I misrepresent my finances, it’s equivalent to saying it’s none of your business. I’m transparent with my spouse but she has no interest. I don’t go out of my way to update her but she can look or ask whenever she wants. She trusts me to handle fixed costs and saving/investing, and I give her a set monthly amount to independently manage household expenses.
women out live men and divorce is more probable than staying married. my spouse doesn't really have any interest either, but I have to force her to be interested. Why? Because of the fact that women out live men. Having seen my dad die before my mom and my mom having zero clue, that is not something I would want for my spouse. I managed my mom's finances, but if you don't have kids, or don't have kids that are financially responsible or knowledgeable, it's a recipe for disaster.
A coworker memorized her credit card numbers and put away the cards but she could still use them . Her husband didn’t know their credit balances until talking with finance officer at point of buying a new car. She talked about this at work a lot. Don’t know what happened.
My wife and I were very poor when we started off but worked together to get ahead and not a soul knows about our finances except us. Money is only a tool not yardstick.
We have our own checking/savings accounts, but they are linked so we can see everything the other is doing. That has made everything way less stressful. I normally don’t go further than checking her overall balance, unless I suspect we’ve been scammed or something like that. I don’t lie about it or try to hide my investments, but she’s not really that interested.
I think you'd be better to cut out those "harmless" lies you tell your husband. You're millionaires. The difference between 165 and 150 is negligible. Would he really be mad if he knew your clothes were 10% more? Or do you personally feel like you overspent? Either way, it's healthier to be completely honest. You're still very young but I think you'll find if you have any reason to knowingly lie, you or he/her is doing something wrong. My wife and I pretty much talk ALL purchases. I'll be like "can I buy this $4 VR game?" Yesterday I went to Home Depot to get lights and ended up getting a $12 dog light for our dog. I came in and showed it to her. It just seems respectful to ask ahead of time. But we've been together since we were dirt poor college students shacking up in the ghetto, so I don't think that will ever change. Thank God. I'd hate to be married to a liar, no matter how "white lie" they think it is.
A couple of comments. First, I don't understand why USA society especially, thinks talking about money is taboo. I think the secrecy hurts people in so many ways. From employers underpaying some people, to people resenting others because they assume things that just are not true. I do agree with you, if you are uncomfortable discussing, don't lie, just state that its not something you feel comfortable discussing. But again, I do wish money wasn't held in such secrecy. Now on to your "its not in the budget" comment. Sooner or later, people dealing with you, are going to figure out, that is just an ":excuse": for you. They will recognize you are prudent and successful and you "could:" do the thing, if you wanted to. I know that is true for me, and from what I can tell it will be true for you too.
@@ErinTalksMoney Well if it's something you're not willing to spend money on, you don't account for it in your budget, so "it's not in the budget" is true.
My wife wants nothing to do with finances but I make her sit down every three months and go over everything with her. In 2006 I bought a 94K sports car when I was 50, (I told my wife it was around 90K) I drove it on the track, went to car shows, and sold it four years later for 90K I know it was not a great investment but I got it out of my system. So I still think it was a smart move. I'm with you never lie it always comes back to bite you in a relationship.
Gotta disagree with the "not in the budget" lie. Our best friends have used this excuse numerous times to not go out to dinner with us and then spent a large chunk of money on something. It hurts to know that they valued that thing more than spending time with us. I'm sure they thought it was ok, but when the other person realizes what you did, it damages the relationship. If you don't want to spend time with someone, it's better to say so than to use your financial goals as an excuse.
Perhaps they prefer to send the message indirectly. Some relationships aren’t worth the awkward honest conversation. I agree they weren’t as good of friends as you once thought.
or they don't have the money and don't want to have their credit card declined in front of you. perhaps they valued the thing that they can reuse or share more than spending money for a one off meal out, not that they valued the thing more than spending time with you. I think it says more about you that you'd be hurt that someone wouldn't spend money to spend time with you. Spending time doesn't require spending money. Considering this obviously rubs you wrong, the real question is why are you continuing the relationship if the values don't align?
They're great friends, it was just strange that they decided to tell a little lie instead of just saying the truth. I thought we had a better relationship than that, but maybe they didn't think it would be found out.@@chemquests
Married, second time, our finances are TOTALLY separate. Being married isn't a bed of roses all the time, either. But, each of us has our own money and are together by choice, not necessity. I wouldn't ever have it any other way.
I intentionally didn't tell my wife much about my finances when we were dating. I did this with all of the women I dated back in my single days. I didn't want a woman to date me because of my finances. We completely combined our finances when we got married back in '05. That was when she found out what she had married into. She was pleasantly surprised. I manage all the money and investments because she just isn't interested in it. But I do try to get her opinion on what our goals should be and how we should approach things from a broad strokes perspective even if I handle all the little details. We also always discuss major purchases and neither of us will spend more than about $80 without talking to the other one first.
You sound a lot like me and my wife except we both started out making very little. We share everything even though I make about 3-4 times more than her. It has never been an issue.
You brought it up so... what car are you driving? I'm pretty sure you have enough money to buy a Ferrari with cash so.. I don't feel bad asking. I'm so curious...
One secret trick to having enough money to buy a Ferrari with cash is to not buy a Ferrari. More generally, being a millionaire requires not spending $1M that you could have spent.
Find a good,working class,life partner who shares the same mindset and does'nt spend foolishly.A fool with money will sink you like a Nortel stock.Yikes!
Forget about outward lying: inward lying to yourself is the real problem, especially when you are in debt. I think openly talking about and acknowledging you are in debt is the first necessary step to get out of debt. The whole hiding the fact you are a millionaire next door is still exerting useless energy to give off an impression about yourself to others. It's silly.
I definitely agree with your first point. Many people in debt are putting their heads in the sand, which isn’t helping. Not being ostentatious with your wealth is perfectly fine.
Constantly use "It's not in the budget" to get out of any sort of obligation or purchase the wife comes up with She knows it's a running joke and usually gets what she wants (with-in reason)
![[Gegagedigedagedago] NEW Help Gegagedigedagedago Nugget escape from Nikocado Avocado Challenge](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/hJWnwRC2Fz8/mqdefault.jpg)
My wife and I are very open with each other about our finances - mind you we don't quiz each other on every purchase, either. We NEVER tell anyone else about our savings or expenses. If we did, our families would start a conversation "well if you have that much, why don't you buy ...". Or it can bring smirks or other petty jealousies. It saves a lot of conflict.
I can definitely understand that!
Because she's a woman that's what they do getting married as a guy is extremely stupid in this day and age your a simp
My wife and in-laws are naturally frugal and very organized people. I understand the tradition to not openly discuss specifics of money for extended family unless there is a need to know. I have no doubt that my wife's parents have done well and have a decent retirement portfolio. They have no idea what our specifics are financially but they know we are doing ok and have a paid off house and no debt.
I hate the “you can afford it”… from my broke friends. Yes I can, however I choose not to spend my money that way.
The other piece of context to consider is that generally when younger guys (which is the only demographic I can speak to authoritatively) have this conversation, there is an IMPLIED comparison going on. Rounding up income, investments, savings, or the price paid for things is part of that verbal duel. It's not good, or healthy, but it's the way it kinda goes sometimes. If you admit to bargain shopping, or say that you make a penny less than the person you're talking to, the conversation changes in a way that is not favorable for the honest person. Guys can get REAL didactic and condescending REAL quick. Best to just say whatever gets you out of the room.
Great stuff as always, Erin! Thank you!
I walked away from an engagement last April over finances. It wasn't worth going broke over.
Smart move.
She’s a lucky woman!
Smart man .
I absolutely agree about being on the same page with your partner. We had a VERY pointed conversation when we were first married after a generous gift was bestoyed on a family member and I was informed AFTER it happened. Its never happened again!..:)
Nope, nope, nope, none of those or any others I can recall. As you said Erin, it's either the truth or I won't discuss the matter with that particular individual . That is typically online, where I won't give details. I don't think that is smart or safe.
Erin, Love your show!!!
I have a question for you. Is there a difference between a money market account and a high yield saving account? Is one better than the other? Would love to have your input and opinion. Thanks!
Kinda funny how during my younger years I would ROUND UP my salary/income if I was talking to close family/friends….I guess to show off maybe?…..but as I got older and income/Net worth went UP…..by a lot….I did the total opposite……I would actually want them to not be jealous or not try to expect “more” out of me……example is I’ve been mortgage free since 2010 but still bring up my $800 monthly mortgage payment……(even though that is still an extremely LOW mortgage payment to come to think of it….haha)……is it getting wiser with age?
Taking on debt without telling your partner seems self-defeating. It would obviously be better to let them know where the household finances are so they can help come up with a plan with you. Same with the secret joint savings dipping.
LOL, it’s not in the budget…love this one…I’ll plan to use it…thanks Erin!
I was on a business trip years ago and there was a woman ahead of me at the rental counter. She was dressed head to toe in Gucci and had an expensive purse. When it came time to pay for her rental all her cards were denied and she was just plain stuck...
I am guilty of being inaccurate or giving ball park information due to my own vague memories. I have incorporated using words indicating I'm inaccurate like "about" or "approximately." I have also kept how much I make at work secret or rounded down as I make more than most. We are doing well financially but yes I definitely make it a point to talk to my wife about any decisions or financial matters even if she doesn't seem to want to know. I just strive to keep it honest and concise.
We (my wife and I) have lied to ourselves a few times about our income and when our home will be paid off.
It is just a little game we play to not over spend.
Interesting list. We have multiple accounts that can be divided into 3 buckets (his, hers, ours). The "Ours" accounts are joint accounts where we each put money for things like mortgages, grocery shopping, joint-owned properties and investments, etc. The individual accounts are for individual savings, checking, and investments. It lets us handle our personal spending and investment habits without friction. We both have access to each other's statements, so there are no secrets. Our salaries have been identical for decades. This division has worked for us for over 40 years, so we are not changing.
BTW, we have been deciding which chairs to buy for our formal living room for over a year. The room is hardly ever used so we both want something nice, but not too expensive. But we have had a disagreement over colors.
Actually Pasties come from Cornwall in the UK (first mentioned the 1200s). They were backed by the Wives of the tin miners so their Hubbies could hold them easily with dirty hands. Cornish pasties are also delicious..:)
I remember first hearing about pasties on a trip to the UK, so was suprised when Erin mentioned them in the US. I have never hear the term used in the US.
They have as Cornish pasties even to AZ --- several shops have them here. while i don't know anyone specifically from Michiga, I will have to ask my friends from Wisconsin if they have them.
I have visited Cornwall a couple of time and LOVE the pasties we get! Yum
Another unique and informative video with some great advice. Thanks Erin!
(And I agree wholeheartedly about the pasties. Well made, they are delicious!)
To lie about money is the worst purchase. Buying someone’s opinion is a investment bound to go to zero at some point in time.
Oh no! We have an agreement to keep my savings a secret. He is paycheck to paycheck spender. When a big emergency happens, he knows I'll have it, and he'll pay back his half in payments.
If he knew, there would be nothing in savings lol
Same here! She's not a great saver, we both know that, so that's a place I can contribute to our relationship. Doesn't feel like a LIE so much as a...mutually agreed removal of temptation.
If my partner (not married) knew what I had in savings, he would find some emergency to extract it. Nope....he figures things out and I'll kick in my half if it's a household need
I also keep a savings account on the side, my wife sometimes goes berserk with her online shopping so I can be sure we can easily cover those expenses.
Same here. Finally came to an agreement to strictly use a budget and that saved my sanity. I am the cheapest person alive so I am probably difficult to live with for a person who likes to spend if its "in the budget". The budget protects me while simultaneously permitting the spender of the relationship to access some goodies.
Ha! In Wisconsin here, just packed myself a pasty for lunch today😀
With the exception of getting out of social events, all of these are bad ideas. My wife and I have a series of checks and balances built into our financial life. For example, I pay the bills, and she balances the accounts. So everyone has eyes on the money. We don't spend a lot of money without discussing it first. I can't imagine trying to have a relationship while lying about money. That seems like the wrong way to build a life!
It's no wonder that finances are a leading cause of divorce - so many feel the need to lie about it. I get not divulging personal matters to those outside your household, but when it's between partners in a marriage, there can be no substitute for 100% transparency... because, even then, there will be challenges around priorities, values, etc. But you at least have a fighting chance to address those challenges when you're open about the facts.
Before I got engaged to my now ex-wife, I made sure we had an honest discussion about where we were financially and where we wanted to go. If I ever remarry I'll do the same.
I was saving for retirement through my work 403B…. I wasn’t really keeping my wife updated on the growing balance until one day she looked at the computer screen while I was looking at it… needless to say she was pleasantly surprised.
Nah. Not in me to lie.
You look good. Being a mom agreeing with you I gather?
I’m in Portugal headed out on a 2 week cruise. Bargains are great when you find them 😎
Enjoy!!! Steve and I are starting to talk about our next cruise - have to wait until baby boy is at least 6 mo old. (and thank you!!)
My wife handles our finances - couldn’t think of a better person to handle it. I don’t tell anyone about anything financial.
Honesty is the best policy, but you can avoid a lot of awkward discussions by practicing stealth wealth. I pass as an ordinary human pretty well, IMO, so folks rarely ask and I rarely have to answer.
great phrase - i've always been frugal and very up front about money spent with my friends, most of whom I've known for 20-40+ years --- they know when i'm considering cost so we normally will shift to lower cost (sometimes - rarely - higher cost) alternatives, so not sure I can use it myself.
It's not in the budget is a magical phrase.
it really is!
I LOVE pasties... There are a couple of places near me that sell them.
Just so you know, good UP food definitely makes it to the mitten 😂
Erin, Great channel.
Thank you! 🙏
I’m totally guilty of telling my husband that something costs less than it actually does because he still thinks everything is priced in 1980’s pricing and I’m not exaggerating! I don’t often have to fudge but I do at times. We do very well, save at least 60-70% of our income and have no debt including our home. We’re pretty simple and our expenses are low. I handle the finances like a hawk which is why we’ve done well. If he knew I spent $100 on a pair of shoes for example I think he might pass out! What you don’t know can’t hurt you 😉 Cheers!
😂😂 I remember asking my dad for a new pair of running shoes when I as in high school - they were about $100. "He was like no-way! Who would spend $100 on a pair of shoes?" I will happily spend on good running shoes - I want to protect my feet! You enjoy your shoes!
@@ErinTalksMoney Amen to that! It’s how we get around so in my/our estimation, good supportive shoes are an essential investment. Particularly our workout shoes! I learned this the hard way (maybe you too) when I was trying to be frugal buying my workout shoes at TJ Maxx and Marshals trying to stay within my $50.00 perceived reasonable price range. Almost damaged my feet permanently before I got smart and had my feet properly measured and fitted at my local running store. My husband does know how much I spend on my workout shoes and has thankfully accepted the cost! Thanks Erin for your financial wisdom and insight. You produce helpful, thought provoking content and I’ve recommended your channel to family and friends who will listen! Keep up the great work!
Oh yes, on the car. Its 21 years old. Still saving up for a newer car. Loans aren't in my budget :-).
When I misrepresent my finances, it’s equivalent to saying it’s none of your business. I’m transparent with my spouse but she has no interest. I don’t go out of my way to update her but she can look or ask whenever she wants. She trusts me to handle fixed costs and saving/investing, and I give her a set monthly amount to independently manage household expenses.
women out live men and divorce is more probable than staying married. my spouse doesn't really have any interest either, but I have to force her to be interested. Why? Because of the fact that women out live men. Having seen my dad die before my mom and my mom having zero clue, that is not something I would want for my spouse. I managed my mom's finances, but if you don't have kids, or don't have kids that are financially responsible or knowledgeable, it's a recipe for disaster.
Now I have to get the stuff to make some pasties (They are not generally available here in Pennsylvania.)
Yes! you generally get the choice to top with gravy or ketchup - I say ketchup all the way!
Pasties are a Montana mining legacy here, so yummy with brown gravy!
I like them with ketchup soooo much better! (PS my grandpa was a miner :-) )
$4 Bucks 😂 “They were delicious!” 😂
A coworker memorized her credit card numbers and put away the cards but she could still use them . Her husband didn’t know their credit balances until talking with finance officer at point of buying a new car. She talked about this at work a lot. Don’t know what happened.
my dad memorized his cc numbers and did the same thing...definitely not a great spending plan!
My wife and I were very poor when we started off but worked together to get ahead and not a soul knows about our finances except us. Money is only a tool not yardstick.
We have our own checking/savings accounts, but they are linked so we can see everything the other is doing. That has made everything way less stressful. I normally don’t go further than checking her overall balance, unless I suspect we’ve been scammed or something like that.
I don’t lie about it or try to hide my investments, but she’s not really that interested.
...hmmm, interestinng (???? LOL ) or interested in finance ...
@@kevinkanter2537 damn lol. Interested in finance.. autocorrect strikes again!
Zero financial secrets between my wife and me.
Happy to discuss financial stuff with friends, but never discuss actual amounts.
OG is ME!
My baby just got engaged. Do you think the "Not in my budget" excuse will work?????
😂😂 I doubt it...good luck trying! And congrats!!!
Not me - any of them. No conducive to trust in a relationship.
I think you'd be better to cut out those "harmless" lies you tell your husband. You're millionaires. The difference between 165 and 150 is negligible. Would he really be mad if he knew your clothes were 10% more? Or do you personally feel like you overspent? Either way, it's healthier to be completely honest. You're still very young but I think you'll find if you have any reason to knowingly lie, you or he/her is doing something wrong. My wife and I pretty much talk ALL purchases. I'll be like "can I buy this $4 VR game?" Yesterday I went to Home Depot to get lights and ended up getting a $12 dog light for our dog. I came in and showed it to her. It just seems respectful to ask ahead of time. But we've been together since we were dirt poor college students shacking up in the ghetto, so I don't think that will ever change. Thank God. I'd hate to be married to a liar, no matter how "white lie" they think it is.
6:43 🤯some friend of Erin’s that got married 4 years ago seeing this video😅😅😅
Your income and assets are nobody’s business but yours and spouse.
A couple of comments. First, I don't understand why USA society especially, thinks talking about money is taboo. I think the secrecy hurts people in so many ways. From employers underpaying some people, to people resenting others because they assume things that just are not true. I do agree with you, if you are uncomfortable discussing, don't lie, just state that its not something you feel comfortable discussing. But again, I do wish money wasn't held in such secrecy. Now on to your "its not in the budget" comment. Sooner or later, people dealing with you, are going to figure out, that is just an ":excuse": for you. They will recognize you are prudent and successful and you "could:" do the thing, if you wanted to. I know that is true for me, and from what I can tell it will be true for you too.
Ah way too many liars out there.
After this video, you probably can't use your "it's not in the budget" lie anymore!
I am definitely going to keep using it! haha
@@ErinTalksMoney Well if it's something you're not willing to spend money on, you don't account for it in your budget, so "it's not in the budget" is true.
What kind of couch is that????
Lazy Boy so comfy!!
@@ErinTalksMoney We have new Living Room Furniture in the budget for the first of the year - I'll be sure to check that out.
Holy moly, I’ve spent 10 minutes of my life on this and I’m never gonna get it back…
Oh goodess.....number one lol.
haha
I am guilty of only 1, stating I made less money than I actually did. Protection.
My wife wants nothing to do with finances but I make her sit down every three months and go over everything with her.
In 2006 I bought a 94K sports car when I was 50, (I told my wife it was around 90K) I drove it on the track, went to car shows, and sold it four years later for 90K I know it was not a great investment but I got it out of my system. So I still think it was a smart move. I'm with you never lie it always comes back to bite you in a relationship.
Looks like I'm in that 6% minority, but that doesn't surprise me with the way the world is today.
Gotta disagree with the "not in the budget" lie. Our best friends have used this excuse numerous times to not go out to dinner with us and then spent a large chunk of money on something. It hurts to know that they valued that thing more than spending time with us. I'm sure they thought it was ok, but when the other person realizes what you did, it damages the relationship. If you don't want to spend time with someone, it's better to say so than to use your financial goals as an excuse.
Perhaps they prefer to send the message indirectly. Some relationships aren’t worth the awkward honest conversation. I agree they weren’t as good of friends as you once thought.
or they don't have the money and don't want to have their credit card declined in front of you. perhaps they valued the thing that they can reuse or share more than spending money for a one off meal out, not that they valued the thing more than spending time with you. I think it says more about you that you'd be hurt that someone wouldn't spend money to spend time with you. Spending time doesn't require spending money. Considering this obviously rubs you wrong, the real question is why are you continuing the relationship if the values don't align?
They're great friends, it was just strange that they decided to tell a little lie instead of just saying the truth. I thought we had a better relationship than that, but maybe they didn't think it would be found out.@@chemquests
“Going out to dinner is not in the budget” should be followed immediately by “but why don’t y’all come over for dinner instead?”
Being single sucks but im happy im totally responsible for my finances
Married, second time, our finances are TOTALLY separate. Being married isn't a bed of roses all the time, either. But, each of us has our own money and are together by choice, not necessity. I wouldn't ever have it any other way.
E-N-G-A-G-E-M-E-N-T
They left out the millionaire next door lie: Oh, I'm doing OK, I have a little bit of money saved. Then he dies and leaves $20 million.
I intentionally didn't tell my wife much about my finances when we were dating. I did this with all of the women I dated back in my single days. I didn't want a woman to date me because of my finances. We completely combined our finances when we got married back in '05. That was when she found out what she had married into. She was pleasantly surprised.
I manage all the money and investments because she just isn't interested in it. But I do try to get her opinion on what our goals should be and how we should approach things from a broad strokes perspective even if I handle all the little details. We also always discuss major purchases and neither of us will spend more than about $80 without talking to the other one first.
You sound a lot like me and my wife except we both started out making very little. We share everything even though I make about 3-4 times more than her. It has never been an issue.
You brought it up so... what car are you driving? I'm pretty sure you have enough money to buy a Ferrari with cash so.. I don't feel bad asking. I'm so curious...
I have a Jeep - and I still love it
One secret trick to having enough money to buy a Ferrari with cash is to not buy a Ferrari.
More generally, being a millionaire requires not spending $1M that you could have spent.
The ones who do not appear wealthy are the ones to look out for. Trust me.
Find a good,working class,life partner who shares the same mindset and does'nt spend foolishly.A fool with money will sink you like a Nortel stock.Yikes!
Biggest lie, money can’t buy happiness! Okay, money can make happiness possible!
Money can't buy happiness. But it can buy you a boat, big enough that you can sail right up next to it.
~David Lee Roth
Comedian, Daniel Tosh always had the phrase money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a JetSki. And have you ever seen a sad person on a JetSki? 😂
Forget about outward lying: inward lying to yourself is the real problem, especially when you are in debt. I think openly talking about and acknowledging you are in debt is the first necessary step to get out of debt. The whole hiding the fact you are a millionaire next door is still exerting useless energy to give off an impression about yourself to others. It's silly.
I definitely agree with your first point. Many people in debt are putting their heads in the sand, which isn’t helping.
Not being ostentatious with your wealth is perfectly fine.
You are your grandmother’s granddaughter…😂
A lie Gen Z and young Millennials tell themselves…soft saving is a viable retirement strategy to justify overspending.
Buy a new car. The safety features are worth it
It's not in the budget :-)
What is TH-cam doing? I know you have more than 0 likes on your video. You have 58 comments!
Constantly use "It's not in the budget" to get out of any sort of obligation or purchase the wife comes up with
She knows it's a running joke and usually gets what she wants (with-in reason)