"Uncle Sam Sees a Shrink"

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"Uncle Sam Sees a Shrink"
By Ben Grosscup
So what brought me here, shrink
Is I started to think
That perhaps I’ve gone into decline
I almost forget
When the sun never set
On countries whose rules I define
My unrivaled power
Meant nations would cower
And help my vast wealth to accrue
If one wasn’t supine
Or they got out of line
Well, I’d just take them out in a coup
And I have, by far, the best nuclear warheads
Each one is on trigger alert
My hundreds of foreign bases are spread
To maintain the control I exert
So doctor, help me. I can’t understand
Why wielding this power feels pointless and bland
Even with all my arms, my wealth, and grandeur
I still feel so insecure
And be frank with me, please
I’m down on my knees
Your words come with weighty credentials
Why am I in this pain?
Can you help me regain
The status of being essential?
It just makes me irate
When erstwhile client states
Demand that I honor their borders
I feel anxious and sick
Check the Diagnostic
Manual of Mental Disorders
Hey Doctor,
What’s the assessment at which you’ve arrived?
And where’s it described in this text?
I’m paging up there right now in the DSM Five
[Spoken] For . . . what’s it called again?]
The military industrial complex?
Hmmm . . .
It says the symptoms are fraudsters and hacks
Win the biggest contracts
Building jet fighters and drones
Economies go down
In the cities and towns
Once lenders start calling in loans
Doc, my global franchise
Runs on free enterprise
Your missing my problem’s causation
Just help me to see
All the threats facing me
Like the meddling done by foreign nations
Or do you mean to imply that the very armed forces
Key to the power I’ve known,
Empty me of my best resources,
And cause me to feel so alone?
My consultants attested
That you were the best but
I clearly see now you’re a phony
I pay you too well
To be left in this hell
Of the stress that comes with hegemony
This session has only made me feel more ill
And thrown your prestige into doubt
You should have known I’m a shining city on a hill
We’re done now, and I’m walking out

[@overlordnat]

Hilarious! I’m glad YT recommended this comic masterpiece, well done mate! 😂 I literally lolled at the ‘military industrial complex’ line.

[@BenGrosscup]

so glad you caught the humor and enjoyed it so much!