@@jamstonjulian6947 He likely would have have flipped exiting the car, but would have ended up landing upside down facing front. Back flips out of a car would have made a spectacular scene. Insert public service advertisement about the need to wear seat belts.
Her oneliners seem to be from 80s PSAs. That _"You could learn a lot from a dummy"_ is from those Crash Test Dummies advisory commercials. I'd like to see the Critical Drinker work that guy's finger cutting scream into his reviews.
I mean.. tax fraud and money laundering are a big part of all movie budgets. Including the big ones. It's all about how much you can both inflate and obscure the expense of creating them.
"You can learn a lot from a dummy" is a reference to a series of PSAs from the US Dept. of Transportation telling you to buckle your seat belt. It featured two living crash test dummies, Vince and Larry. One of them was voiced by Lorenzo Music (Garfield).
Love the subtitle that show up when you played the Star Wars Music. "The Subtitles really can not do justice to this wonderful piece of John William music".
I'm amazed they could afford even those guys. I was also surprised Robin didn't namecheck Waggoner. The random gaps in his knowledge of obscure American pop culture are hard to predict.
I enjoyed that review immensely. It's kind of hard to come up with bottom five movies I've ever seen because if that was bad, I probably either blotted it from my memory or didn't sit through the whole thing. But I''ll give it a shot (not necessarily in order): 1. Drawing Restraint 9 2. Zombies Lake 3. Out for Justice (paid $1.50 to see that and still felt cheated) 4. Godzilla's Revenge 5. The Devil Within Her
"You can learn a lot from a dummy." Yeah, well, you can't learn how to a double and a half axle after being ejected from a car from a crash test dummy, that was all him.
I love how almost every video starts with someone screaming, or getting dragged out a window with tentacles, or making some smart-ass remark that plays perfectly into Robin's intro. In fact, a mashup of nothing but intros would be hilarious!
Lyle Waggoner also has a small (though speaking) part in "Journey to the Center of Time" (1967), a fact with which Robin is undoubtedly aware as Dark Corners posted a review of that film on July 21, 2014. Mr. Waggoner unfortunately died March 17, 2020.
Man, does this movie deserve the RiffTrax/MST3k treatment! In fact, you’ve done such a fantastic job on this film you should really do the long form on this one. Please.
You have such a plethora of material. 10 years! How can there be so many bad movies? This one wasn't even fun as review....not your fault, Robin, but as I say, I'm glad you watched it so I don't have to. I wish you another stellar 10 years to get us through the deeper depths of bad film history, and perhaps answer the question: Why?
@@pechugaslarou3433 I'm pretty sure it is Martha Hackett. The actress is credited as "Martha Kincare" who has no other credits nor is there any personal info on. IMDB is usually excellent in putting pseudonyms on the correct page, but they do occasionally miss one here and there. Kincare appears to be the right age to be Hackett, she looks exactly like her, she has some of the exact same mannerisms (I'm thinking of the half smirk/smile that Hackett does frequently as Seska which Kincare used several times during the movie), and this movie was made at a time when Hackett was a theatre actress. Her only screen credits prior to this movie were a couple of episodes of Hill Street Blues 3 years before this movie. Theatre actors/actresses at the time looked down upon their brethren who took paydays to be in TV shows/movies that they considered to be unworthy of an artist. I can definitely see Hackett as a young, unproven actress wanting to take the lead role in any movie (even one this terrible) for the exposure and ability to add to her demo reel while at the same time using a pseudonym not wanting to be ridiculed by her theatre friends.
This movie hurt my head. And I just saw the review. If I saw the full movie I probably start throwing things outside the window in anger of how bad it is.
These last ten years have been pretty bleak, but I can honestly say that watching your channel for that amount of time has at least made my outlook a little .....brighter, perhaps? I mean....I know I at least can count on you guys to find the fecal matter of film and faithfully critique the countless corn-nuts within said cinematic crap. Don't ever change..
There are some films that are so vile, I wouldn't even want to mention them by title. Not only would I be drawing attention to films that are best forgotten, but I would also have to explain why I saw them in the first place. That being said, one film that defies the logic of existence is "Swamp Freak" (2017). Featuring three horror actresses who are all just audio cameos (no joke), this rambling, plotless film just has people walking alone around a swamp (looking for each other) and getting attacked one at a time for 70 minutes.
@@DarkCornersReviews That British covid strain must be real bad if you're not even allowed to go to your dark corner anymore. Must be because of all the bats down there.
@5:47 Um, because it's difficult to keep a gun pointed at someone's head and pay attention to the road at the same time. If you want to avoid this, have an accomplice handy that can either di the driving or keep the victim restrained.
Dan Heggarty lines from Elves (1989) "What are you a godamn nazi or something? Is that elf yours?" then later on " I wanna know the connection between nazis and elves"
Sweet fancy Moses!!! Dan Haggerty AND Lyle Waggoner???!!!! What did we ever do to earn this blessing??? If they just added Donnie Most, Andrew Prine, and Gil Gerard we might have had a movie worthy of inclusion in the Criterion Collection!!!
3:33-the most realistic explosion in movie history 3:47-I thought you guys did the voice over. Seriously 7:11-accurate 8:38-Wait what? Drek it may be but Dan Haggerty!
I still think _Red Zone Cuba_ is the worst film ever made. Having seen this review, though, I’m almost tempted to see how much worse this film is when you watch the whole thing... but maybe I won’t punish myself this time around.
Here's My Five Worst (alphabetically arranged): 1. BILLY JACK (1971) 2. MYRA BRECKENRIDGE (1970) 3. SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND (1978) 4. SKIDOO (1968) 5. VALLEY OF THE DOLLS (1967)
It's pretty hard to sit through SGT PEPPERS LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND. It stared the beegees and was narrated by George burns. And absolutely painful to watch.
Have you ever seen the movie "The Evil Within"? Holy S××T. It's probably one of the creepiest/interesting films I have Ever seen. It's not the greatest movie but it's something you'll never forget. Also, the story behind the movie, about the guy who made it makes it even CRAZIER!
Where are all these "dreck" actors now? [Like that word] These movies appear to cause permanent damage and death to actors careers. Love this guy's narration. I watch these reviews and start laughing which causes my wife [who has much better taste than I do] to ask "what's so funny"? She just rolls her eyes,lol.
OK the bad guy crashes through the windshield and makes a midair 180 degree turn or flip, so he can fall back on something sticking out of the garbage (tailpipe?) getting impaled. Did I miss anything? You have to know this was staged!
@7:35 Well he did it, because they probably threatened to cut off a finger each day until he did join them. And he's down to nine! How many fingers would you sacrifice for your country?
Having been reminded of *Darkman* in the Snob’s *The Stand (2020)* review: (after chopping off 2 fingers already) Point 3? I have 7 more points to make!
The movie Tekken, like the video game. There's a reason why you've never heard of it even though its a billion dollar video game franchise and it's for free right here on TH-cam
Ancient history. Now we have dementia "Beijing" Joe Biden, Chinese Communist Party shuffling old man puppet, and his partner, "super spreader" "heels up" Harris!
The film was shot before the end of the USSR. It is impossible to compare the geopolitical relations of that period with the current. At that time, the Russians were literally communists living in a state where private ownership of the means of production* was illegal. Currently, Russia is basically an authoritarian and reactionary state. * edit
Thanks for another fun review of a bad movie. It seems makers of bad movies cut their own throats by making them R-rated. With a PG or PG-13 rating they are great for late night fare.
Seen worse. Darkness Falls (also known as Anderson Falls) from last year. Primal Rage, Halloween II (the Rob Zombie one), Michael Bay's Transformers films all come to mind.
Wow,you’ve got Grizzly Addams and Col.Steve Trevor.
My favorite line is "I love you, but I'm going to be dead again soon."
"You know your father was an accomplished ventriloquist"
WHAT?!
How does that fit in this movie?
It really doesn't.
It's amazing how he flew out the car face down but ended up being impaled through his back. Movie physics strike again.
He did a nice little twist mid-air. Off screen of course.
@@jamstonjulian6947 He likely would have have flipped exiting the car, but would have ended up landing upside down facing front. Back flips out of a car would have made a spectacular scene. Insert public service advertisement about the need to wear seat belts.
Her oneliners seem to be from 80s PSAs. That _"You could learn a lot from a dummy"_ is from those Crash Test Dummies advisory commercials. I'd like to see the Critical Drinker work that guy's finger cutting scream into his reviews.
I wouldn't be surprised to find out that this was made solely for the purposes of tax avoidance.
At least they didn't make it just to secure the rights for a future high budget production, a la The Fantastic Four!
Basically The Asylum studio in a nutshell
I mean.. tax fraud and money laundering are a big part of all movie budgets. Including the big ones.
It's all about how much you can both inflate and obscure the expense of creating them.
@@devastatedbaby Now now, Samurai Cop was a tour de force of...something or other!
"You can learn a lot from a dummy" is a reference to a series of PSAs from the US Dept. of Transportation telling you to buckle your seat belt. It featured two living crash test dummies, Vince and Larry. One of them was voiced by Lorenzo Music (Garfield).
Love the subtitle that show up when you played the Star Wars Music.
"The Subtitles really can not do justice to this wonderful piece of John William music".
Wow. Not exactly Lyle (Steve Trevor) Waggoner's finest hour, then?
Dan Haggerty delivering his worst ever? That's saying a lot.
‘Do you have any books about elves?’
When your star power is Dan Haggerty and Lyle Waggoner, you know your movie's in big, big trouble.
Lyle should've done his best to make his scenes funny. No matter how often he was the straight man, he could be very funny.
I'm amazed they could afford even those guys.
I was also surprised Robin didn't namecheck Waggoner. The random gaps in his knowledge of obscure American pop culture are hard to predict.
I enjoyed that review immensely. It's kind of hard to come up with bottom five movies I've ever seen because if that was bad, I probably either blotted it from my memory or didn't sit through the whole thing. But I''ll give it a shot (not necessarily in order):
1. Drawing Restraint 9
2. Zombies Lake
3. Out for Justice (paid $1.50 to see that and still felt cheated)
4. Godzilla's Revenge
5. The Devil Within Her
2:23 Worst line? Even worse than "I wanna know the connection between the elves and the Nazis"? Wow.
"There is a heard of killer rabbits heading this way and I need your help." - but not by Dan Haggerty.
I like “ that’s the bravest thing I’ve ever seen a tomato do” George Clooney
"You can learn a lot from a dummy."
Yeah, well, you can't learn how to a double and a half axle after being ejected from a car from a crash test dummy, that was all him.
Haha! Yeah man!!!
I love how almost every video starts with someone screaming, or getting dragged out a window with tentacles, or making some smart-ass remark that plays perfectly into Robin's intro. In fact, a mashup of nothing but intros would be hilarious!
it is a little old but... th-cam.com/video/zRB7UQc32s0/w-d-xo.html
@@DarkCornersReviews Thanks, mate - I needed that!
One of the best reviews ever. I laughed throughout.
Robin must not know who Lyle Waggoner was. He was Steve Trevor in the 1970s Wonder Woman series
To be fair he was very overshadowed by Lynda Carter whom majority still remember..
Lyle Waggoner also has a small (though speaking) part in "Journey to the Center of Time" (1967), a fact with which Robin is undoubtedly aware as Dark Corners posted a review of that film on July 21, 2014. Mr. Waggoner unfortunately died March 17, 2020.
@@carn9507 Lynda Carter could overshadow just about anyone!
I remember him from The Carol Burnett Show -
@@beemo1 Token handsome guy for token handsome guy roles.
Man, does this movie deserve the RiffTrax/MST3k treatment! In fact, you’ve done such a fantastic job on this film you should really do the long form on this one. Please.
You have such a plethora of material. 10 years! How can there be so many bad movies? This one wasn't even fun as review....not your fault, Robin, but as I say, I'm glad you watched it so I don't have to. I wish you another stellar 10 years to get us through the deeper depths of bad film history, and perhaps answer the question: Why?
And he's staying away from most things made by big studios......
Did you notice that actress is a star trek regular guest. usually plays an alien including Seska from Voyager.
mmmm, she is very look alike, but she is not seska (Martha Hackett)
@@pechugaslarou3433 I'm pretty sure it is Martha Hackett. The actress is credited as "Martha Kincare" who has no other credits nor is there any personal info on. IMDB is usually excellent in putting pseudonyms on the correct page, but they do occasionally miss one here and there. Kincare appears to be the right age to be Hackett, she looks exactly like her, she has some of the exact same mannerisms (I'm thinking of the half smirk/smile that Hackett does frequently as Seska which Kincare used several times during the movie), and this movie was made at a time when Hackett was a theatre actress. Her only screen credits prior to this movie were a couple of episodes of Hill Street Blues 3 years before this movie. Theatre actors/actresses at the time looked down upon their brethren who took paydays to be in TV shows/movies that they considered to be unworthy of an artist. I can definitely see Hackett as a young, unproven actress wanting to take the lead role in any movie (even one this terrible) for the exposure and ability to add to her demo reel while at the same time using a pseudonym not wanting to be ridiculed by her theatre friends.
This movie hurt my head. And I just saw the review. If I saw the full movie I probably start throwing things outside the window in anger of how bad it is.
Lyle Wagner was in this? You poor man. How id they blackmail you?
4:19 Where is Wonder Woman when you need her.
Trapped in a twirling loop while trying to spin out of her Navy uniform.
These last ten years have been pretty bleak, but I can honestly say that watching your channel for that amount of time has at least made my outlook a little .....brighter, perhaps? I mean....I know I at least can count on you guys to find the fecal matter of film and faithfully critique the countless corn-nuts within said cinematic crap. Don't ever change..
Wow that's fainting scene in the opening, now that's some grade A bad acting. But I'm sure I ain't seen nothing yet.
I'm like 99% sure I watched this...yet, I remember NOTHING about it.
Wow surely that was grizzly adams in there , didnt even shave his beard !
You _know_ your father was an accomplished ventriloquist!
What did the Mime say to the accomplished ventriloquist?
Check out 'Suburban Gothic' found here on the Tubes. Feels like something that would end up on this channel. Rock on.
Can you do Lair of the White Worm please?
I love the bagpipes scene!
How selfish of Shanna, not wanting to be kidnapped.
This is addictive, I'm so ashamed of myself.
More beach movies!!!!!
There are some films that are so vile, I wouldn't even want to mention them by title. Not only would I be drawing attention to films that are best forgotten, but I would also have to explain why I saw them in the first place.
That being said, one film that defies the logic of existence is "Swamp Freak" (2017). Featuring three horror actresses who are all just audio cameos (no joke), this rambling, plotless film just has people walking alone around a swamp (looking for each other) and getting attacked one at a time for 70 minutes.
martha kincare really looks like Martha Hackett.
I'm hoping you might someday review Hand of Night aka Beast of Morocco, please and thank you.
“An accomplished ventriloquist...” words fail me! Worst films of all time? Meet the Fockers - makes me squirm.
Yeah that explosion, I thought her snatch had exploded as in she put a bomb in there. In this kind of movie it wouldn't surprise me.
"Welcome back to my dark corner of this sick world" just doesn't have the same gravitas since you started recording in front of your attick window.
Hopefully lockdown will ease soon and we get back to normal.
@@DarkCornersReviews That British covid strain must be real bad if you're not even allowed to go to your dark corner anymore. Must be because of all the bats down there.
@@bambufan3636 Problem is we live in different cities. If it was down the road it would be a different story.
@@DarkCornersReviews I always assumed he lived in your cellar. #cellardweller
What the hell is Steve Trevor doing here? With this and Wonder Woman 1984 I'm really starting to dislike Steve... :O
@5:47 Um, because it's difficult to keep a gun pointed at someone's head and pay attention to the road at the same time. If you want to avoid this, have an accomplice handy that can either di the driving or keep the victim restrained.
Catatonic: A condition which allows you complete freedom of movement
Dan Heggarty lines from Elves (1989) "What are you a godamn nazi or something? Is that elf yours?" then later on " I wanna know the connection between nazis and elves"
Shayna played Seska on “Star Trek: Voyager”. She made a pretty good femme fatale!
Is the actor at 00:40 the same one who played Steve Trevor in the 1970's Wonder Woman series?
Yes, that is actor Lyle Waggoner, who also was in the comedy troupe of Carol Burnett and had a long career of many other performances..
Geez. I could make a better movie than this and I have absolutely no money (or talent) for it at all!
10 years! WOW!!!🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
9.08 Wow! I didn't know Russell Crowe was in this!
Sweet fancy Moses!!! Dan Haggerty AND Lyle Waggoner???!!!! What did we ever do to earn this blessing??? If they just added Donnie Most, Andrew Prine, and Gil Gerard we might have had a movie worthy of inclusion in the Criterion Collection!!!
Oh my gosh! Steve Trevor!
3:33-the most realistic explosion in movie history
3:47-I thought you guys did the voice over. Seriously
7:11-accurate
8:38-Wait what?
Drek it may be but Dan Haggerty!
1989? REALLY!?! I expected better.
The opening had me in stitches hahahaha
C'mon; someone must remember Lyle Waggoner co-starred with Lynda Carter in Wonder Woman.
Martha Hackett took me a second to identify, a young Ceska.. :)
I still think _Red Zone Cuba_ is the worst film ever made. Having seen this review, though, I’m almost tempted to see how much worse this film is when you watch the whole thing... but maybe I won’t punish myself this time around.
The MST3K treatment of it is one of my favorite episodes in the series!
Whip out my Perestroika. All righty then. Moving right along.
Martha Kincare aka Martha Hackett - I thought I recongnized Seska from Star Trek Voyager.
I gotta see this movie! For real.
I would like to see the chap review The Attack Of The giant moussaka.
Seska takes revenge
Here's My Five Worst (alphabetically arranged):
1. BILLY JACK (1971)
2. MYRA BRECKENRIDGE (1970)
3. SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND (1978)
4. SKIDOO (1968)
5. VALLEY OF THE DOLLS (1967)
I can think of "Flashdance" as a crappy movie without much thinking. I could get disagreements but I can live with it.
So many hilariously bad quotes 😂
Lyle Waggoner- a sure sign that the movie is not going to be a Shakespearean classic!
I've been re-binge-watching DC's back catalogue for the last week and indignant Robin is my favourite Robin
Bad movies are day after day getting dangerously close to the ''Zardoz'' bottom's bottom.
I usually avoid very bad movies by watching show like yours
Alien Covenant was pretty funny.
Alien Covenant isn’t great but the latest Predator was easily worse
Do a review of "The Chooper", by Ray Dennis Steckler from 1971
4:41 - That did not age well.... Anyway, I have been binge watching your channel and loving it!
It's pretty hard to sit through SGT PEPPERS LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND. It stared the beegees and was narrated by George burns. And absolutely painful to watch.
Martha Hackett, is kickass in Star Trek. So glad to see her at least.
Have you ever seen the movie "The Evil Within"?
Holy S××T.
It's probably one of the creepiest/interesting films I have Ever seen.
It's not the greatest movie but it's something you'll never forget.
Also, the story behind the movie, about the guy who made it makes it even CRAZIER!
The human bug one with Bibi Besch from Star Trek II?
Where are all these "dreck" actors now?
[Like that word]
These movies appear to cause permanent damage and death to actors careers.
Love this guy's narration.
I watch these reviews and start laughing which causes my wife [who has much better taste than I do] to ask "what's so funny"?
She just rolls her eyes,lol.
Danger USA is about as bad as this "film".
Check out "The Brain Machine." Similar ideas, but not quite as awful and confusing. Also, Lyle Waggoner?
You should check out Desert Warrior (1988) with Lou Ferrigno if you haven't seen it yet. It's an interesting movie for your channel.
You know it's a bad movie when you see Dan Haggerty and think this looks too bad even for him.
Is it worse than Elves?
OK the bad guy crashes through the windshield and makes a midair 180 degree turn or flip, so he can fall back on something sticking out of the garbage (tailpipe?) getting impaled. Did I miss anything? You have to know this was staged!
@7:35 Well he did it, because they probably threatened to cut off a finger each day until he did join them. And he's down to nine! How many fingers would you sacrifice for your country?
Having been reminded of *Darkman* in the Snob’s *The Stand (2020)* review:
(after chopping off 2 fingers already)
Point 3? I have 7 more points to make!
On a double feature blu ray with AMERICAN RAMPAGE....
can you review 'The Incredible Shrinking Man'
You think The Incredible Shrinking Man is a bad movie?
Incredible Shrinking Man is far from a bad movie.
"Mind trap"....That's what this movie needs to keep people from turning it off. I believe that's where the sex scenes serve their purpose.
wow, this is a level of nastiness and overkill so awful that modern audiences would undoubtedly find it hilarious
The movie Tekken, like the video game. There's a reason why you've never heard of it even though its a billion dollar video game franchise and it's for free right here on TH-cam
4:41 "Because the ultra right-wing commie-hating conservative is the natural ally of the Russians."
Bad movie, or 30 years ahead of its time?
Ancient history. Now we have dementia "Beijing" Joe Biden, Chinese Communist Party shuffling old man puppet, and his partner, "super spreader" "heels up" Harris!
The film was shot before the end of the USSR. It is impossible to compare the geopolitical relations of that period with the current. At that time, the Russians were literally communists living in a state where private ownership of the means of production* was illegal. Currently, Russia is basically an authoritarian and reactionary state.
* edit
Both. Why not both.
Remarkably prescient
But Lyle Waggoner is in it.
Wow. Not quite Dangerous Men level, but not far from it.
Wow. Good shit...
No offense, who would want to see more of this vile garbage? Patreon subscribers should get an even more heavily edited look at this review. LOL
4:40 ?
Check out Life Tracker or Canaan Land for similar dreck.
Thanks for another fun review of a bad movie. It seems makers of bad movies cut their own throats by making them R-rated. With a PG or PG-13 rating they are great for late night fare.
Mardi Gras Massacre is THE most inept film ever made. Outdoes anything Robin has or ever will review.
Worse than Las Vegas Massacre? Shot on video....the first half mostly women watching wrestling on TV?
Worse than "The Las Vegas Strangler versus The Skid Row Slasher", by Ray Dennis Steckler?
Worst film I ever saw? Factotum, a film about a guy who lives a boring life. Riveting.
Blood sucking freaks is easily the worst film I've ever seen. You guys should totally do a review
Fanboy Flicks does a funny review of this Movie
Seen worse. Darkness Falls (also known as Anderson Falls) from last year. Primal Rage, Halloween II (the Rob Zombie one), Michael Bay's Transformers films all come to mind.
Aren't debauched show biz friends just the worst?
Definitely one of the worst you've reviewed...meaning I need to check it out, lol!