@@Rorschachqp Most women do not know how to comfort a grieving man. It wasn't about being lazy, it was about them thinking he wanted to or needed to shoulder that burden alone.
@@spencerallen8084 Nah it was just laziness and lack of care. Most women do know how to care for a suffering man…whether they choose to do so or not is the question. Women are the mothers.
@@GreenTea-vf7sg Woah, that is dark even for me... ut from the looks of it, might be possible. But the 11 year old would have spilled the beans for sure.
The 11 year old was not as oblivious as OP thought. But she was only 11 and this was beyond her years. But she was a little trooper. Kids are amazing little people.
She's cheating. She also said she lost him when his mom died. That already enough reason for her to cheat. Also, when she answered the last segg was on February where OP said back, they never had segg at the month. Furthermore, she gave him segg like once a year. Like people always said, if she ain't get it from you, she got it elsewhere.
There are many women who end up married to partners that don't satisfy them but are good in many other areas. They get married for the good 90%. After a while since they don't enjoy the segges, they don't miss it. She could be cheating or just not that interested after 3 kids.
Sounds like cheating is likely. Her comments about his mom’s death and the gaps in their intimacy raise serious concerns. If she’s not getting it from him, she might be finding it elsewhere.
I don’t think she had a affair partner since he would have been able to find texts and emails eventually. But I do think she may have cheated through one night stands. Maybe she had gone out with friends and fooled around while she was out but it was nothing meaningful to ask for a number. So unless someone steps forward then she’ll probably get away with it.
Usually I would think she was cheating in most cases but in this case she probably almost went to asexual or menopause stage due to her age(I was not sure because lot of woman who came near to her menopause in my surroundings often show a typical mood swing and it was chronic😂).And it convince me more when OP state that lately in one year she often hanging out with her children than her husband(another sign of that stage I mention).Meanwhile OP was suffering from mid life crisis and it didn't went well when he got that cold treatment from his family.
@@amoghlad9792- He waited too long to check. He accused her first. This gave her time to wipe her phone and cover her tracks. If you think they are cheating, then gather evidence first. Don't yell it out and then try to get evidence afterwards. The guy messed up the order of things.
NTA. She cheated on op. I don't have doubts about that. I think she cheated around the time op was struggling emotionally everything that happened with his mom. The best thing op did for himself was walk away. It's a good lesson for his kids not to take the people they love for granted. Op's wife wasn't sorry. She's scared to lose her saftey net.
He should finish the divorce and demand paternity. She probably was cheating, so I doubt the kids were his. Even if they are, he should ask for less than 50% custody for now while he is doing therapy. On the end, he might want 0 custody.
It’s honestly hard to let go of an Affair Partner as the closer they are to home the easier it is to cheat. So unless she’s been texting his cousins more than usual then my theory is she had at least some one night stands. Cause I definitely think she cheated probably on a girls night out.
That thing is really sad. Adn from all I know I am sure there is more to the wife's behaviour than she let's on. Her not realising how long they weren't intimate plus her sudden mood change? No way there was nothing else but "stress"...
The damage is done. No matter how much therapy session u get. In the back of your head, you be like "They are just pretending cause i told them" the trust and love was lost
This is the same story for many men. They're treated like a taxi and an atm and basically left to get on with it. Yes, men struggle with mental health and never feel appreciated. Yet men are simple creatures, you don't need to do much for us to be happy. If you love and appreciate a man, he'll do everything to give you the world.
OP might be too messed up mentally to completely trust his wife and family again, this is the sort of thing where everyone needs years more of therapy and all it's gonna take is one slip-up from any of the major players (OP, Wife, Daughters) to send him back over the deep-end. the 11-year old is the hero of the story by demanding they look for OP, because everyone else deciding they need to "give him his space" might as well be them saying "We're too afraid to deal with him or just dont want to deal with him right now, and its less effort and awkwardness to wait-and-see than it is to search him out and try to interact with a broken man.
Wow is all i can say to that. Feel like u must be a long lost brother of mine cause im going through the same thing without children. Actually no children or even the chance to make 1 is nonexistent and the absolute reason for my wasted marriage. I got married to have children in wedlock but my wife lied to me for 15 years telling me she wanted 3 kids just like me until 5 years after we got married and she infrormed me she never wanted any and marriage isnt about just having children, no obviously its about her spending every dime she can on worthless crap that lays in a pile until its donated to goodwill. Im nothing more then an ATM and i am sick of it. I 00% only got mrried to have children in wedlock turns out i was simply lied to by the person i believed i knew everything bout.
@@kathywallace704 if it wasnt for my farm and my dad passing away after i got married leaving the farm to me i think it would of already been done and over with. Really if ibknew i could get out of this without having to hand half of my 5th generation farm over to a women that truly has done nothing to deserve any of it let alone half. When it was transferred to me it started in a trust but the trustees board told me if i didnt sell the farm they would close it. So thats what they did cause i wasnt selling the farm not then not ever. They wanted to liquidate it so they could use the cash to build wealth but i was unwilling so the trust was closed. Dont know if simply because it started ina trust if that will protect it or not. My money is protected but not sure abaout the farm. If i was id be out looking for a younger women that isnt a only child to self absorbed to care about anyone besides herself and what benefits her. Dont get married is the only advice i offer to anyone anymore. Cause it basically the most important fact that needs told to every man. Its like an entire generation of women thinking they are in competition to out do one another while doing nothing.
@@kathywallace704 if i didnt own a 400 acre farm thats been in my family for 5 generations 1 year after i got married i wouldnt think twice about it. Shed be gone already but handing a women who has done nothing but lie our entire relationship to me doesnt deserve half of my family farm. It started in a trust but the land trust had to be closed because i wouldnt sell like the trustee board wanted me to do. It was sell or close the land trust which would of just tirned into another cash trust i guess.if i knew for sure she couldnt take half my farm her shit would be outside tmrw. And i would not hesitate even for a second. But if i have to sell this farm because of a women i dont know how that will end up.
@@kathywallace704 put to many hours in and saw my father grandfather and great grandfather blood sweat and tears have been into this farm for almost 100 years. To think i got tricked into handing half of it over would really really make me lose it. If not for that fact if i only owned the 1 house in the city that we started in then sure take it bye bye theres the door just leave me alone. If i can somehow make her take the 2md property and leave my farm alone id do it tmrw.
There is accountability that needs to be acknowledged on both sides but I can see how this acceptance of negative behavior escalated. My mom has had serious depression and I wittnessed this causing poor decision making. Apathy and self hate can make you ignore or even believe bad behaviors from others is justified. You start to ignore the little things and grow numb to the hurt it may cause and, as things escalate, you make excuses or think its deserved punishment. Its a dark mood that can cage you before you know it and usually takes you hitting rock bottom to notice how bad everything has gotten. His wife should have been his rock but ended up being nonexistent. I feel for OP.
I not trying to be harsh but what do these types of people expect? You silently accept bad behavior and disrespect over and over again and are surprised when you don’t get any respect? Whether OP stays with his family or ends up moving on I hope he learns to call out bad behaviors on the spot. That way, things will never even get to this point.
I see what you mean and I agree. However people who feel worthless will constantly doubt themselves and thinking maybe they're overreacting or that it'd bother the other person to bring things up for their needs yk
@@zepedro6234 look. this is gonna sound harsh but I don't mean it to be. You can only feel worthless, if YOU think you're worthless. As long as I am alive, I will never feel my life is worthless. I have friends, I have family, I have a PURPOSE. OP should've got some hobbies, got some friends, started staying out of the house a bit more and finding his purpose for life again. Maybe instead of him emotionally exploding on his wife, she comes running back to him after she feels the distance between them.
@stillscrimmaging283 I think what you say has value, however not everyone can just pull themselves up by their boot straps I have friends and family and I can't help but feel they deserve a better son or a better friend, it's not a matter I can flip a switch on my brain and change those thoughts by acting differently, but yes ofc that's a problem that has to be addressed and what you say is what should happen
%1000. Not saying the guy is the original cause of whatever the issues were. But THIS is what happens when a man is too passive. U can't wait until you're considering sefl deletion to finally address there's a problem in the house. This isn't uncommon when a man isn't leading and present in the household. I'm sure the disrespect hurt him, but respect has to be earned. If respect is deserved but still withheld?? Then that's when u have to immediately address it and communicate that disrespect won't be tolerated. Glad this guy is finally getting the help he needs
Because when you are in the middle of it you can't see the big picture. You are busy with work and you keep going thru life and by the time it hits you, you realize it's not an isolated incident and some people are fragile so they can't face the reality of what they are actually going thru.
Bro got stomped over and walked over like a doormat and still held on without wanting to divorce. there's a fine line between being brave and being a fool
Dude is too forgiving. Could only make it half way for that. Divorce and sue for alienation of affection - you are not a resource, you are a person. Damn.
Dude is not forgiving at all 😂😂 he rejects or second-guesses every single thing his wife does to try and make it up to him, tells her and his children that they hurt him so badly he wants to commit suicide, then whines that they’re “walking on eggshells” him. Nothing will ever be good enough, so maybe he should just leave.
@@sgv0719 my parents are my heroes. I felt really sad for this dude at the beginning and was totally rooting for him, but then his behaviour and attitude just started grating.
@@Owl_beeMy bet here Is that he Is going throw depression. That either his moms dead initiated It witch lead to a vicius cicle of him checking out of the family and the family checking out of him, or that the family checked out first and them he got depressed. He really seens to be viewing everything from a very nialistic view point.
I wish him good luck, but personally I have never, in my entire life, seen a single case where the declining effort from a wife ended up making a comeback. Maybe my experience is too anecdotal, but I think if a woman lets things decline this far, then this already proves, that she doesn't really want to make an effort anymore.
Wife needs to take a polygraph test. You just suggesting it and her reaction will probably tell you everything you need to know. I would be shocked if she wasn't cheating. You are right you are nothing but an atm and taxi. OP's weakness caused a lot of his own problems
Polygraphs are scams. They test the pulse and blood pressure.ofnthe person, which can rise from being nervous even if you're telling the truth. Yeah, the wife most definitely cheated, but polygraphs don't do shit
What's the point of a family if they aren't there for you when you need it? And this guy seriously needed it after his mom died, but instead, they treated him worse. When he quit trying because he was hurting, it became clear to him that he was the only one trying, the only one putting any effort into their bonds. His wife's an anchor, and she'll always drag him down. Once a relationship is gone, it's gone. That trust ain't ever coming back. Their relationship died with his mom.
This guy allowed disrespect for so long and started feeling sry for himself instead of addressing it. This is where things can go when a man is too passive. I mean u don't wait until u consider self deletion to address issues
some people here i guess don't understand how alimony works and why he is staying. he has been married for 15 years, in most states in the USA that entitles her to full alimony which is 50% of everything he makes for about half the time they were married. that doesn't include the extra 30%ish for child support. so she would gain 80% of his income, unless she was working then its 50% of the difference between the incomes. all this does vary state to state but roughly is the same. even if she did sleep around it still doesn't matter most of the time cause if she a STHW it only reduces her alimony that she would receive not take it away. this is why its better to not get married at all now-a-days.
That is a very simplistic analysis of what would happen in a divorce, and it assumes that the wife is not working outside the home and/or has a substantially lower income than Op. Also, alimony, or spousal support, is finite, not open-ended, and so is child support, so in the long term they both take a financial hit, but the higher earning spouse still comes out better in the end, no matter how much they bitch and moan about it.
OP allowed this to happen. That doesn’t mean his family’s neglect is his fault, but it is his fault that it got so bad and lasted so long. Never reward undesired behavior. His wife and kids came to dismiss and ignore him, and he responded by giving them all his attention and love regardless. That’s stupid. They dismiss him because they’ve lost respect for him. His enabling just made them lost even more respect.
I hope that he is okay i feel bad for the guy. Also honestly what work does he need todo he did everything for them was a great dad while they just ignored and treated poorly. All the work needs to come from wife and kids.
Yall don't know how long I've looked for this video 💀💀💀 legit all the tiktoks and shorts that have a "part 2" is just the same beginning part just rephrased
I'm glad OP hit every point he wanted to talk to his wife about despite her bringing the kids, even using it as an example of how he's been ignored. Manipulation tactics like that are always better faced head-on. If the truth makes someone look bad, it's not the truth's fault.
About OP’s wife cheating… if she enjoys sex and it’s been 18 months since they’ve been conjugal, the likeliness of her cheating is close to 100%. People don’t simply go without sex for that long without a REALLY good reason.
Men need to be strong enough to deal with problems with or without family. But the worst thing what can happen is when we have family and they completely ignoring us and not suporting us at all. If something can actually break us i think its this situation because in that case we would be better alone and know that we have noone than be with someone and expecting something what will never happen
@@ahmadradwan5423 if you look right before the score, on the top right corner, there is a x2⭐. This is the multiplier. It multiplies how many points you earn per meter runned. The bigger the multiplier, the faster your points increase during the run. When you first play the game, it starts with x1. As long as you finish the missions (ex. Hit signal lights, dodge barriers, pick magnets, jump over trains), your multiplier increases. It may reach x30 eventually. Then, the points will increase quickier during a run. This gameplay is probably the first run since the app was downloaded.
I always see stories like this and people always ask for space and when they get it they always break up or fail to reconcile. Its pretty obvious that while some space is needed, its not much at all. And beyond a couple days it becomes self reinforcing. The little kid was right to push. Man should be disobeyed when he is wrong, and obeyed when he is right or when right is not a big concern.
I understand that very much I am 61 years old growing up kept to myself moved all over Canada to stay clear of family friends treat me better than my own family even my only son is grown up and don't talk to me in 8 years my siblings are much the same only chat with me when they need money
She can't undo the damage. It will all seem very hollow and orchestrated. There will be no way to know either. OP should just move out. Find his own place and find himself. Go NC and let them all stew. Those apples all fell off the same tree. Prison would be better than this. If wife wants a divorce. Then she can chase that. But I would make if very hard to find me.
Sad the wife took the shot and blamed OP with that "losing you" comment. If she truly cared then this wouldn't have happened. I agree with the rest, she's cheating and the kids are covering for her.
When I was in school I got put with a counselor and she tried to say I needed to go to a mental hospital because apparently kids are not supposed to be depressed so Mom told me I needed to start going to school start acting better and I couldn't say I was depressed of the counselor because Mom said "they'll pump you with dr*gs" and hear me out here now I'm only 12 so I'm not supposed to be depressed?! I have emotions too? But what do they do they ignore them they just say 'oh you're going through a phase' AND THEN THE HOSPITAL THREATS COME IN- AND THEN THEY EXPECT ME TO GO TO SCHOOL AND FEEL SAFE WHEN I CAN'T EVEN FEEL SAFE AT HOME?! COME ON NOW WISCONSIN!! AND THIS WAS IN ST. MARCUS MIDDLE SCHOOL.. NOW I HAVE TO BORROW MY EMOTIONS UP BECAUSE I'M SCARED TO TELL MY PARENTS OR TELL ANYBODY CUZ THEY'LL BE LIKE OH YOU NEED TO GO TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL! WELL MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO GO MAYBE I'M JUST TRYING TO LET MY EMOTIONS OUT ONLY TO GET SHUT DOWN AGAIN. MAYBE I'M JUST A CHILD WHO NEEDS SOMEBODY TO JUST SAY THAT I AM SAFE! BUT NO YOU KNOW WHAT MY PARENTS DO OR YOU KNOW WHAT ANYBODY DOES?! THEY JUST SAY I'M GOING THROUGH A PHASE OR THAT I NEED TO GO TO A FREAKING MENTAL HOSPITAL!!
Many people just seem to have a hard time understanding mental issues, so don't give up on trying to reach your mom, I'm sure she loves you, she just doesn't get it and think they're helping you like this. Maybe is time to see a therapist, if possible, to help you navigate this time in your life, and help you communicate your fears to your parents. I'm sorry you are going through such a dark time and I hope you can heal soon. Remember everything you need inside you. Every day is a new opportunity. You are and will be loved ❤
Poor guy. Everyone says she cheated but I think it's more a case of a marriage that is taken over completely by the kids and a Mum who got absorbed. As a Mum I know there were times when I was so busy running around after the kids and their friends, the house, my job and our mutual friends that there was no room for my husband and I as a couple. Teenage kids are exhausting. But even then I knew when we hadn't had sex for a while. I always told him I loved him thought, and I never forgot birthdays or father's day. If it's not cheating then the wife needs to have a hard look at herself and for ignoring their relationship. Marriage needs work. And maybe OP needs to be not so loving to everyone. He finally showed them that he was a person with needs. I don't think he's shown that side in a long time. Older girls do turn from their father to their mother though, because Mum's love shopping and spa days, while Dad's don't. That's why his 11 years old is still so loving. I know my husband got upset when the kids turned away from him because they used to idolize him so much. It was only a teenage stage because they are now in their 20s and they love spending time with him again. The wife needs to plan days that include OP and stop being so wrapped up in the kids and girly things., or she'll turn around one day and not have a marriage. I suggest board games and fun, movie nights. Invite their friends over if you want. That's how we've kept our family so close even though the eldest is now 30.
Okay... He still feels that she has cheated. Smart cheaters have two phones, and their main phone is never used for the affair. He should hire a private detective to search her past. At present, the trigger event was his mother's death. Taking the story as it is: she truly may not be 'cheating,' nor 'emotionally cheating' with a living person. I'm a prude, and even I know porn ticks off some boxes. There could be porn in all sorts of accounts in her name, and he doesn't know where to look. She could be addicted to it. For certain, SHE HAS EMOTIONALLY CHECKED OUT, AND SHE'S BLAMING IT ON HIS GRIEF AFTER HIS MOTHER'S DEATH! ding ding ding ding! We have a winner. She is an entitled person, who doesn't like being emotionally supportive for other people. She lost her husband, when his mom died! HE WAS GRIEVING, AND YOU DID NOTHING TO COMFORT HIM? To help him carry those burdens, or at the very least, step up and take more responsibility to lessen his load. Nope! He is the foundation of that family and he is NEVER allowed to not support them. With MOM checking out during dad's grief, the girls will simply follow her lead, until it becomes habit, and/or Mom is always there to be the older friend who can take them fun places. Mom alienated those girls from their father, because SHE NEEDED THEM TO EMOTIONALLY SUPPORT HER. Since her husband won't do it. Forced therapy won't work. If you aren't committed, you don't do the homework to get better. He cannot trust her until he knows why she checked out, and she thought they were intimate, when they hadn't been. That is a major red flag. What would I tell him to do: take a one year sabbatical from his job to get his mental health back in shape. He needs to do this ALONE, and in a different city than his family. The Family needs to cut back on their spending, so the rent of their large home can pay all their bills. Yes, they will be moving to a smaller apartment. The Girls need to FEEL THE ACHE OF NOT HAVING ALL THEIR WONDERFUL STUFF, IF DAD ISN'T THERE; and the very real possiblity, that their parents could be divorced, and their lives will be more like this. Mom, needs to have the future perectly imprinted on her brain: this is her new reality. He needs her to understand, he might not ever be able to work in that stressful job, again. She will need to get a job. This would tell him more information, in 3 months, that 2 years of therapy: just how committed is his wife is to him; instead of his paycheck? She will barely last three months, when she texts him: I'm going to my parents house, you need to come take care of the girls. I will get lawyers to draw up the divorce papers. He needs to reply, I had already put the house up for sale, and purchased a small 4 bedroom house, and put the rest into trust funds for the girl's college fund. I will not press abandonment charges, if you don't demand anything, and I will not seek child support.
Maybe I’m mean but this guy sounds kind of like a jerk when it comes to his kids. You have pre teen and teenage kids, they’re gonna treat you like a taxi service. They’re not gonna remember Father’s Day. They’re not gonna tell you how good of a job you’re doing as their dad or how much they love you. It’s like he’s expecting his children to fill in the hole made by his wife. He should only be asking his wife to change and not put it on his kids.
Around 9:10 i know that pain except for me its me being a bad son. Yes i do seek help and found out it do to deep issues but i know this pain all too well
It's not your fault it's your wife's fault because she was ignoring him for years and I think she is cheating and that's not right and she should pay for her actions and go to hell for what she has done to him and if you guys can't see that then you guys are delusional and she doesn't deserve anything.
Dude is so pathetic, your not happy and your treated like trash and just accept. On top of that it sounds like he’s staying. Some people are just too soft .
Can you please write a story where the good guy or good girl has a backbone? A least something believable, this is just pathetic, and no one to root for.
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Poor guy wore a dad mask after his mom passed and instead of his family rallying, it took him for granted starting with the wife and eldest kid.
They gave him space to grieve, but unfortunately that alienated him in their minds and they never tried to mend that gap.
@@spencerallen8084 Lazy and insensitive does not equal “giving space”.
@@Rorschachqp Most women do not know how to comfort a grieving man. It wasn't about being lazy, it was about them thinking he wanted to or needed to shoulder that burden alone.
@@spencerallen8084 Nah it was just laziness and lack of care. Most women do know how to care for a suffering man…whether they choose to do so or not is the question. Women are the mothers.
wife definitely cheating, and the oldest know about it. their action speaks so loud about it.
Now that you mention it. They might be with AP on father's day.
Probably
@@GreenTea-vf7sg Woah, that is dark even for me... ut from the looks of it, might be possible. But the 11 year old would have spilled the beans for sure.
@@GreenTea-vf7sg oof.. thats tough man
@@Asperger0815 not if they were bribed.
The 11 year old was not as oblivious as OP thought. But she was only 11 and this was beyond her years. But she was a little trooper. Kids are amazing little people.
They can be but they can also be lil monsters as well. It’s a case by case thing
She's cheating. She also said she lost him when his mom died. That already enough reason for her to cheat. Also, when she answered the last segg was on February where OP said back, they never had segg at the month. Furthermore, she gave him segg like once a year. Like people always said, if she ain't get it from you, she got it elsewhere.
Fr
There are many women who end up married to partners that don't satisfy them but are good in many other areas. They get married for the good 90%. After a while since they don't enjoy the segges, they don't miss it. She could be cheating or just not that interested after 3 kids.
Sounds like cheating is likely. Her comments about his mom’s death and the gaps in their intimacy raise serious concerns. If she’s not getting it from him, she might be finding it elsewhere.
I don’t think she had a affair partner since he would have been able to find texts and emails eventually. But I do think she may have cheated through one night stands. Maybe she had gone out with friends and fooled around while she was out but it was nothing meaningful to ask for a number. So unless someone steps forward then she’ll probably get away with it.
Usually I would think she was cheating in most cases but in this case she probably almost went to asexual or menopause stage due to her age(I was not sure because lot of woman who came near to her menopause in my surroundings often show a typical mood swing and it was chronic😂).And it convince me more when OP state that lately in one year she often hanging out with her children than her husband(another sign of that stage I mention).Meanwhile OP was suffering from mid life crisis and it didn't went well when he got that cold treatment from his family.
She is cheating and does not want gravy train to stop.
100%
She definitely had sex in February
Just not with op
He literally looked into it and found nothing.
@@amoghlad9792 Nah, he checked her phone. Didn't even check for a burner phone. He would need to pay a PI to do a better check.
@@amoghlad9792 He checked after leaving, so she definitely had time to cover her tracks if she cheated.
@@amoghlad9792- He waited too long to check. He accused her first. This gave her time to wipe her phone and cover her tracks.
If you think they are cheating, then gather evidence first. Don't yell it out and then try to get evidence afterwards.
The guy messed up the order of things.
NTA. She cheated on op. I don't have doubts about that. I think she cheated around the time op was struggling emotionally everything that happened with his mom. The best thing op did for himself was walk away. It's a good lesson for his kids not to take the people they love for granted. Op's wife wasn't sorry. She's scared to lose her saftey net.
He should finish the divorce and demand paternity. She probably was cheating, so I doubt the kids were his. Even if they are, he should ask for less than 50% custody for now while he is doing therapy. On the end, he might want 0 custody.
It’s honestly hard to let go of an Affair Partner as the closer they are to home the easier it is to cheat. So unless she’s been texting his cousins more than usual then my theory is she had at least some one night stands. Cause I definitely think she cheated probably on a girls night out.
That thing is really sad. Adn from all I know I am sure there is more to the wife's behaviour than she let's on. Her not realising how long they weren't intimate plus her sudden mood change? No way there was nothing else but "stress"...
She is 100% cheating on him, and the kids probably know
The damage is done. No matter how much therapy session u get. In the back of your head, you be like "They are just pretending cause i told them" the trust and love was lost
This is the same story for many men. They're treated like a taxi and an atm and basically left to get on with it. Yes, men struggle with mental health and never feel appreciated. Yet men are simple creatures, you don't need to do much for us to be happy. If you love and appreciate a man, he'll do everything to give you the world.
She cheated for sure. Then got called out and wiped her phone and covered her tracks.
OP might be too messed up mentally to completely trust his wife and family again, this is the sort of thing where everyone needs years more of therapy and all it's gonna take is one slip-up from any of the major players (OP, Wife, Daughters) to send him back over the deep-end. the 11-year old is the hero of the story by demanding they look for OP, because everyone else deciding they need to "give him his space" might as well be them saying "We're too afraid to deal with him or just dont want to deal with him right now, and its less effort and awkwardness to wait-and-see than it is to search him out and try to interact with a broken man.
Wow is all i can say to that. Feel like u must be a long lost brother of mine cause im going through the same thing without children. Actually no children or even the chance to make 1 is nonexistent and the absolute reason for my wasted marriage. I got married to have children in wedlock but my wife lied to me for 15 years telling me she wanted 3 kids just like me until 5 years after we got married and she infrormed me she never wanted any and marriage isnt about just having children, no obviously its about her spending every dime she can on worthless crap that lays in a pile until its donated to goodwill. Im nothing more then an ATM and i am sick of it. I 00% only got mrried to have children in wedlock turns out i was simply lied to by the person i believed i knew everything bout.
Dude, just divorce her
Sorry for all the pain you're going through. Life is to short not to reach out for our dreams. It's time to move on if you don't get support.
@@kathywallace704 if it wasnt for my farm and my dad passing away after i got married leaving the farm to me i think it would of already been done and over with. Really if ibknew i could get out of this without having to hand half of my 5th generation farm over to a women that truly has done nothing to deserve any of it let alone half. When it was transferred to me it started in a trust but the trustees board told me if i didnt sell the farm they would close it. So thats what they did cause i wasnt selling the farm not then not ever. They wanted to liquidate it so they could use the cash to build wealth but i was unwilling so the trust was closed. Dont know if simply because it started ina trust if that will protect it or not. My money is protected but not sure abaout the farm. If i was id be out looking for a younger women that isnt a only child to self absorbed to care about anyone besides herself and what benefits her. Dont get married is the only advice i offer to anyone anymore. Cause it basically the most important fact that needs told to every man. Its like an entire generation of women thinking they are in competition to out do one another while doing nothing.
@@kathywallace704 if i didnt own a 400 acre farm thats been in my family for 5 generations 1 year after i got married i wouldnt think twice about it. Shed be gone already but handing a women who has done nothing but lie our entire relationship to me doesnt deserve half of my family farm. It started in a trust but the land trust had to be closed because i wouldnt sell like the trustee board wanted me to do. It was sell or close the land trust which would of just tirned into another cash trust i guess.if i knew for sure she couldnt take half my farm her shit would be outside tmrw. And i would not hesitate even for a second. But if i have to sell this farm because of a women i dont know how that will end up.
@@kathywallace704 put to many hours in and saw my father grandfather and great grandfather blood sweat and tears have been into this farm for almost 100 years. To think i got tricked into handing half of it over would really really make me lose it. If not for that fact if i only owned the 1 house in the city that we started in then sure take it bye bye theres the door just leave me alone. If i can somehow make her take the 2md property and leave my farm alone id do it tmrw.
There is accountability that needs to be acknowledged on both sides but I can see how this acceptance of negative behavior escalated. My mom has had serious depression and I wittnessed this causing poor decision making. Apathy and self hate can make you ignore or even believe bad behaviors from others is justified. You start to ignore the little things and grow numb to the hurt it may cause and, as things escalate, you make excuses or think its deserved punishment. Its a dark mood that can cage you before you know it and usually takes you hitting rock bottom to notice how bad everything has gotten. His wife should have been his rock but ended up being nonexistent. I feel for OP.
I not trying to be harsh but what do these types of people expect? You silently accept bad behavior and disrespect over and over again and are surprised when you don’t get any respect? Whether OP stays with his family or ends up moving on I hope he learns to call out bad behaviors on the spot. That way, things will never even get to this point.
I see what you mean and I agree. However people who feel worthless will constantly doubt themselves and thinking maybe they're overreacting or that it'd bother the other person to bring things up for their needs yk
@@zepedro6234 look. this is gonna sound harsh but I don't mean it to be. You can only feel worthless, if YOU think you're worthless. As long as I am alive, I will never feel my life is worthless. I have friends, I have family, I have a PURPOSE. OP should've got some hobbies, got some friends, started staying out of the house a bit more and finding his purpose for life again. Maybe instead of him emotionally exploding on his wife, she comes running back to him after she feels the distance between them.
@stillscrimmaging283 I think what you say has value, however not everyone can just pull themselves up by their boot straps
I have friends and family and I can't help but feel they deserve a better son or a better friend, it's not a matter I can flip a switch on my brain and change those thoughts by acting differently, but yes ofc that's a problem that has to be addressed and what you say is what should happen
%1000. Not saying the guy is the original cause of whatever the issues were. But THIS is what happens when a man is too passive. U can't wait until you're considering sefl deletion to finally address there's a problem in the house. This isn't uncommon when a man isn't leading and present in the household. I'm sure the disrespect hurt him, but respect has to be earned. If respect is deserved but still withheld?? Then that's when u have to immediately address it and communicate that disrespect won't be tolerated. Glad this guy is finally getting the help he needs
Because when you are in the middle of it you can't see the big picture. You are busy with work and you keep going thru life and by the time it hits you, you realize it's not an isolated incident and some people are fragile so they can't face the reality of what they are actually going thru.
Wife is cheating for sure. She is having intimacy, OP isn't.
She’s already riding the carrousel, run
“Peace, love and chicken grease” EPIC
Bro got stomped over and walked over like a doormat and still held on without wanting to divorce. there's a fine line between being brave and being a fool
It's amazing how people don't give an F until you either try to off yourself or succeed at it. That's guilt they are feeling. Not love or concern.
Dude is too forgiving. Could only make it half way for that. Divorce and sue for alienation of affection - you are not a resource, you are a person. Damn.
Dude is not forgiving at all 😂😂 he rejects or second-guesses every single thing his wife does to try and make it up to him, tells her and his children that they hurt him so badly he wants to commit suicide, then whines that they’re “walking on eggshells” him.
Nothing will ever be good enough, so maybe he should just leave.
@@Owl_bee So much empathy. I guess we know how you treated your daddy 😂
@@sgv0719 my parents are my heroes. I felt really sad for this dude at the beginning and was totally rooting for him, but then his behaviour and attitude just started grating.
@@Owl_beeMy bet here Is that he Is going throw depression.
That either his moms dead initiated It witch lead to a vicius cicle of him checking out of the family and the family checking out of him, or that the family checked out first and them he got depressed.
He really seens to be viewing everything from a very nialistic view point.
@@Owl_beeBecause they were freeloading. There weren't apologising out of heart
How do you forget Father's Day and His Birthday!!?? Smell like cheating to me!!!But the kids there have to be more to the STORY!!!
Wife 100% cheated. The daughters too are terrible ppl except the 11 yo.
Kinda wish there's more to the story since whenever I hear this one I'm expecting more but it's always been the same story from different YT accounts
I wish him good luck, but personally I have never, in my entire life, seen a single case where the declining effort from a wife ended up making a comeback.
Maybe my experience is too anecdotal, but I think if a woman lets things decline this far, then this already proves, that she doesn't really want to make an effort anymore.
Wife needs to take a polygraph test. You just suggesting it and her reaction will probably tell you everything you need to know. I would be shocked if she wasn't cheating. You are right you are nothing but an atm and taxi. OP's weakness caused a lot of his own problems
Polygraph tests are not that reliable... lots of false positives
Polygraphs are scams. They test the pulse and blood pressure.ofnthe person, which can rise from being nervous even if you're telling the truth. Yeah, the wife most definitely cheated, but polygraphs don't do shit
You know easy it is to beat a polygraph?
What's the point of a family if they aren't there for you when you need it? And this guy seriously needed it after his mom died, but instead, they treated him worse. When he quit trying because he was hurting, it became clear to him that he was the only one trying, the only one putting any effort into their bonds.
His wife's an anchor, and she'll always drag him down. Once a relationship is gone, it's gone. That trust ain't ever coming back. Their relationship died with his mom.
This guy allowed disrespect for so long and started feeling sry for himself instead of addressing it. This is where things can go when a man is too passive. I mean u don't wait until u consider self deletion to address issues
Operation blame the victim is a go!
@ZenoDovahkiin Operation "I'm a weak man and everything is always everyone else's fault" is a go👍
I finally found this story it is all over my shorts recommended for a while but I could not find the whole story thank you so much
some people here i guess don't understand how alimony works and why he is staying. he has been married for 15 years, in most states in the USA that entitles her to full alimony which is 50% of everything he makes for about half the time they were married. that doesn't include the extra 30%ish for child support. so she would gain 80% of his income, unless she was working then its 50% of the difference between the incomes. all this does vary state to state but roughly is the same. even if she did sleep around it still doesn't matter most of the time cause if she a STHW it only reduces her alimony that she would receive not take it away. this is why its better to not get married at all now-a-days.
That is a very simplistic analysis of what would happen in a divorce, and it assumes that the wife is not working outside the home and/or has a substantially lower income than Op. Also, alimony, or spousal support, is finite, not open-ended, and so is child support, so in the long term they both take a financial hit, but the higher earning spouse still comes out better in the end, no matter how much they bitch and moan about it.
@@shells500tutubo you do know that 7 states have permanent alimony, so the idea that it is not "open ended" is false depending on where you live.
Not marrying isn't necessaripy enough due to common law marriage.
OP allowed this to happen. That doesn’t mean his family’s neglect is his fault, but it is his fault that it got so bad and lasted so long. Never reward undesired behavior. His wife and kids came to dismiss and ignore him, and he responded by giving them all his attention and love regardless. That’s stupid. They dismiss him because they’ve lost respect for him. His enabling just made them lost even more respect.
The takeaway here is to get a new job in and move to a state that has favorable divorce laws.
I hope that he is okay i feel bad for the guy. Also honestly what work does he need todo he did everything for them was a great dad while they just ignored and treated poorly. All the work needs to come from wife and kids.
Yall don't know how long I've looked for this video 💀💀💀 legit all the tiktoks and shorts that have a "part 2" is just the same beginning part just rephrased
She is cheating and he needs to divorce her ASAP
I'm glad OP hit every point he wanted to talk to his wife about despite her bringing the kids, even using it as an example of how he's been ignored. Manipulation tactics like that are always better faced head-on. If the truth makes someone look bad, it's not the truth's fault.
About OP’s wife cheating… if she enjoys sex and it’s been 18 months since they’ve been conjugal, the likeliness of her cheating is close to 100%. People don’t simply go without sex for that long without a REALLY good reason.
Men need to be strong enough to deal with problems with or without family.
But the worst thing what can happen is when we have family and they completely ignoring us and not suporting us at all.
If something can actually break us i think its this situation because in that case we would be better alone and know that we have noone than be with someone and expecting something what will never happen
Once the money stopd coming in they'll come begging
This has nothing to do with the story but how the hell at 13:31 he has 1684 coins but his score is 31407
the multiplier is very low yet... only x2. Lots of missions to come until x30.
P.S. I'm playing Subway Surfers while hearing this story 😁
@@GoianoAmazonia could u explain it in a simpler way pls I’m dumb
@@ahmadradwan5423 if you look right before the score, on the top right corner, there is a x2⭐. This is the multiplier. It multiplies how many points you earn per meter runned. The bigger the multiplier, the faster your points increase during the run.
When you first play the game, it starts with x1. As long as you finish the missions (ex. Hit signal lights, dodge barriers, pick magnets, jump over trains), your multiplier increases. It may reach x30 eventually. Then, the points will increase quickier during a run.
This gameplay is probably the first run since the app was downloaded.
star number low makes score go up slow which means takes time
which means u get coins faster
I always see stories like this and people always ask for space and when they get it they always break up or fail to reconcile. Its pretty obvious that while some space is needed, its not much at all. And beyond a couple days it becomes self reinforcing. The little kid was right to push. Man should be disobeyed when he is wrong, and obeyed when he is right or when right is not a big concern.
*If There's Any New Updates, Please Upload A Video With The New Updates!*
Tbh I'm one of those people who didn't give second chance so I'll said divorce and LC with kiddo
I understand that very much I am 61 years old growing up kept to myself moved all over Canada to stay clear of family friends treat me better than my own family even my only son is grown up and don't talk to me in 8 years my siblings are much the same only chat with me when they need money
Hope things keep getting better ❤
She can't undo the damage. It will all seem very hollow and orchestrated. There will be no way to know either.
OP should just move out. Find his own place and find himself. Go NC and let them all stew. Those apples all fell
off the same tree. Prison would be better than this. If wife wants a divorce. Then she can chase that. But I would
make if very hard to find me.
Would leave and never return.
Sad the wife took the shot and blamed OP with that "losing you" comment. If she truly cared then this wouldn't have happened. I agree with the rest, she's cheating and the kids are covering for her.
Probs have 2nd phone & a credit card you don't know about.
When I was in school I got put with a counselor and she tried to say I needed to go to a mental hospital because apparently kids are not supposed to be depressed so Mom told me I needed to start going to school start acting better and I couldn't say I was depressed of the counselor because Mom said "they'll pump you with dr*gs" and hear me out here now I'm only 12 so I'm not supposed to be depressed?! I have emotions too? But what do they do they ignore them they just say 'oh you're going through a phase' AND THEN THE HOSPITAL THREATS COME IN- AND THEN THEY EXPECT ME TO GO TO SCHOOL AND FEEL SAFE WHEN I CAN'T EVEN FEEL SAFE AT HOME?! COME ON NOW WISCONSIN!! AND THIS WAS IN ST. MARCUS MIDDLE SCHOOL.. NOW I HAVE TO BORROW MY EMOTIONS UP BECAUSE I'M SCARED TO TELL MY PARENTS OR TELL ANYBODY CUZ THEY'LL BE LIKE OH YOU NEED TO GO TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL! WELL MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO GO MAYBE I'M JUST TRYING TO LET MY EMOTIONS OUT ONLY TO GET SHUT DOWN AGAIN. MAYBE I'M JUST A CHILD WHO NEEDS SOMEBODY TO JUST SAY THAT I AM SAFE! BUT NO YOU KNOW WHAT MY PARENTS DO OR YOU KNOW WHAT ANYBODY DOES?! THEY JUST SAY I'M GOING THROUGH A PHASE OR THAT I NEED TO GO TO A FREAKING MENTAL HOSPITAL!!
Are you ok
@@hoshimaruhajime7933 no.. I'm scared...
@@hoshimaruhajime7933 seems that you're fueling his point
@@justisolated5621 I'm concerned
Many people just seem to have a hard time understanding mental issues, so don't give up on trying to reach your mom, I'm sure she loves you, she just doesn't get it and think they're helping you like this.
Maybe is time to see a therapist, if possible, to help you navigate this time in your life, and help you communicate your fears to your parents.
I'm sorry you are going through such a dark time and I hope you can heal soon. Remember everything you need inside you. Every day is a new opportunity. You are and will be loved ❤
I really wonder if there will be any more updates.... for me this thing doesn't feel like it's over.
This is rough
She was sure she had sex on February but he said they never had sex in more than a year! 🤔🙄😳🥴
This simp just forced them to pretend they loved him. No matter what, he is just an ATM to them.
Poor guy. Everyone says she cheated but I think it's more a case of a marriage that is taken over completely by the kids and a Mum who got absorbed. As a Mum I know there were times when I was so busy running around after the kids and their friends, the house, my job and our mutual friends that there was no room for my husband and I as a couple. Teenage kids are exhausting. But even then I knew when we hadn't had sex for a while. I always told him I loved him thought, and I never forgot birthdays or father's day. If it's not cheating then the wife needs to have a hard look at herself and for ignoring their relationship. Marriage needs work. And maybe OP needs to be not so loving to everyone. He finally showed them that he was a person with needs. I don't think he's shown that side in a long time. Older girls do turn from their father to their mother though, because Mum's love shopping and spa days, while Dad's don't. That's why his 11 years old is still so loving. I know my husband got upset when the kids turned away from him because they used to idolize him so much. It was only a teenage stage because they are now in their 20s and they love spending time with him again. The wife needs to plan days that include OP and stop being so wrapped up in the kids and girly things., or she'll turn around one day and not have a marriage. I suggest board games and fun, movie nights. Invite their friends over if you want. That's how we've kept our family so close even though the eldest is now 30.
Nah, she doesn't give a F about him.
bruh i wanted him to leave them FUCKING homeless
BOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Okay... He still feels that she has cheated. Smart cheaters have two phones, and their main phone is never used for the affair. He should hire a private detective to search her past. At present, the trigger event was his mother's death.
Taking the story as it is: she truly may not be 'cheating,' nor 'emotionally cheating' with a living person. I'm a prude, and even I know porn ticks off some boxes. There could be porn in all sorts of accounts in her name, and he doesn't know where to look. She could be addicted to it.
For certain, SHE HAS EMOTIONALLY CHECKED OUT, AND SHE'S BLAMING IT ON HIS GRIEF AFTER HIS MOTHER'S DEATH! ding ding ding ding! We have a winner. She is an entitled person, who doesn't like being emotionally supportive for other people. She lost her husband, when his mom died! HE WAS GRIEVING, AND YOU DID NOTHING TO COMFORT HIM? To help him carry those burdens, or at the very least, step up and take more responsibility to lessen his load. Nope! He is the foundation of that family and he is NEVER allowed to not support them.
With MOM checking out during dad's grief, the girls will simply follow her lead, until it becomes habit, and/or Mom is always there to be the older friend who can take them fun places. Mom alienated those girls from their father, because SHE NEEDED THEM TO EMOTIONALLY SUPPORT HER. Since her husband won't do it.
Forced therapy won't work. If you aren't committed, you don't do the homework to get better. He cannot trust her until he knows why she checked out, and she thought they were intimate, when they hadn't been. That is a major red flag.
What would I tell him to do: take a one year sabbatical from his job to get his mental health back in shape. He needs to do this ALONE, and in a different city than his family. The Family needs to cut back on their spending, so the rent of their large home can pay all their bills. Yes, they will be moving to a smaller apartment. The Girls need to FEEL THE ACHE OF NOT HAVING ALL THEIR WONDERFUL STUFF, IF DAD ISN'T THERE; and the very real possiblity, that their parents could be divorced, and their lives will be more like this. Mom, needs to have the future perectly imprinted on her brain: this is her new reality. He needs her to understand, he might not ever be able to work in that stressful job, again. She will need to get a job.
This would tell him more information, in 3 months, that 2 years of therapy: just how committed is his wife is to him; instead of his paycheck? She will barely last three months, when she texts him: I'm going to my parents house, you need to come take care of the girls. I will get lawyers to draw up the divorce papers.
He needs to reply, I had already put the house up for sale, and purchased a small 4 bedroom house, and put the rest into trust funds for the girl's college fund. I will not press abandonment charges, if you don't demand anything, and I will not seek child support.
Maybe I’m mean but this guy sounds kind of like a jerk when it comes to his kids. You have pre teen and teenage kids, they’re gonna treat you like a taxi service. They’re not gonna remember Father’s Day. They’re not gonna tell you how good of a job you’re doing as their dad or how much they love you. It’s like he’s expecting his children to fill in the hole made by his wife. He should only be asking his wife to change and not put it on his kids.
Around 9:10 i know that pain except for me its me being a bad son. Yes i do seek help and found out it do to deep issues but i know this pain all too well
Not sure wife was cheating. I suspect she just got too comfortable and it bit her in the arse.
Hey dude, good story but it could do without the brain rot background
Totally cheating wife.
It's not your fault it's your wife's fault because she was ignoring him for years and I think she is cheating and that's not right and she should pay for her actions and go to hell for what she has done to him and if you guys can't see that then you guys are delusional and she doesn't deserve anything.
HE IS AN EDJOOT FOR STAYING
BUT YOU ARE AN EDJOOT FOR BLAMING GHADDD
Dude is so pathetic, your not happy and your treated like trash and just accept. On top of that it sounds like he’s staying. Some people are just too soft .
Can you please write a story where the good guy or good girl has a backbone?
A least something believable, this is just pathetic, and no one to root for.
Mop of a guy
Oh shut UP, pity party. If you hate your family, then go permanently. Maybe they’re going through things too??
Gentlement this is the sole reason why marriage isn't worth it for us guys. Unless you want ti be a wafe slace for a narc female 😂😂😂