You are absolutely right, sir. My wife and I were married 28 years (together for a total of 30) and she suddenly and unexpectedly passed away 3 years ago December 6th (a dreaded anniversary in a couple of days.) Cherish all the moments you can, learn from the valleys and enjoy the peaks. It goes much faster than one can imagine!
In case his comment gets deleted, Dry Creek was responding to The Tunnell Take who said "To over half of the population that vowl is a joke." and not OP, so there's no confusion with that
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had a lot of loss myself throughout my life and I tell people all the time how precious life is. Honor and love the people in your life. Life can turn on a dime and tomorrow may never come. May the Lord keep you Tim, may you rest in His peace.
@@TheTunnellTake When did DeWayne state that he was here to listen to every stranger on the internets life experiences? Especially the ones who are just spewing constant negativity? You’re the one here listening to HIM. The fact that you think you can tell a woman is behind a comment that any woman or man could make shows your ignorance. Like DeWayne said in his previous video - “No one cares if your butt hurts”. You’re starting to sound like a child begging for their parents attention and it’s not a good look.
42 year marriage, wife died 2 years ago. I will never remarry. I was her home nurse for the last 5 years, changing diapers, giving medication, showers, and cooking for her every day. I sat next to her bed here at home holding her hand as she passed away. I Did my duty, and fulfilled my vows above and beyond the normal. Today women like to say you are not a man if you won't take on a woman. I already served my time and won't do it again. I am tired and just ready to go be with my one and only Wife in heaven.
Bless you sir, I truly hope you find solace and peace in the remembrance of your wife. She’ll always be keeping watch over you. I hope that the remainder of your time is as pleasant as it can be. May the lord bless you and keep you, may he shine his light down upon you and be gracious to you, may he lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. And may he cover you with his son’s name; Jesus.
I would say 4 - from time to time do things you couldn't give a flying piece of dirt about but your partner enjoys doing them with you. But ye, that's just me.
Yeah! It took me a bit to realize that my wife didn’t want me to fix her problems. Just listen to her about them. For us, divorce was never in our vocabulary. Murder… yes… but divorce? No!
Fortunately I read about this years ago. They live to talk about their worries which makes them feel they're resolved just by listening. Some women almost make complaining a sport though.
@@DryCreekWranglerSchool Man, a cowboy philosopher. I wonder if you even know how much good you could accomplish in bringing young people together. They're angry and have been so misled by people with lesser minds, to hate their neighbors. Is it not true that the possibility of greatness in the UNITED States, is our capacity to unite. God bless man.
Hey Dwayne, coming from a female, I would love to hear Mom’s perspective on 5 things she had known as a new wife. Thanks for always sharing; we appreciate you.
28 years old father of 2 boys and one in the chamber. Just got back from gatlinburg with the family. 2months ago I was drinking beer way too much letting it bleed to my relationships and work ethic. I found out my Fiancé of 6 months was pregnant about a month ago half lit I stared at those pregnancy tests for hours with a different feeling then my two boys before. I talked to God for two hours straight that night I found out my sweet woman was pregnant. I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since that night like I had told God I would in result he’s blessing me more and more everyday. I found your channel literally the morning after me and God made that pact and I do feel that it was for a reason. God bless brother from your neighbors down in middle Tennessee! Your videos are just a piece of me trying to educate myself and be a man I can be proud of. Your words don’t fall on deaf ears brother I promise you that.
Mike. Keep doing right by yourself, your loved ones. And God. And you will keep going from strength to strength. Well done on the drinking, it’s no small thing. Your comment can’t be written by a bad person, you’re a good man and I wish the best for you and your loved ones in the years to come. God bless brother
Yes Here you loud and clear . Continue your journey. Take your Family on an old fashioned Picnic ! Enjoy the outdoors and the indoors with your family .
Kids won’t always save u. But stay strong as long as u can and if u end up finding out that u keep going despite telling yourself you wouldn’t, make sure you ask someone for help. Cause u won’t figure it out on ur own i promise you.
@@BigNeckSmallWaist . What is important is the correct promt non profit trained help . Surprisingly The messages and wisdom is in Folk, Music of Quality but you have go through life living or have lived to hear the words . Johnny Cash is a prime example. I feel we are on another cycle of Industrial change . Not much different to 1968 ! Get out and look at the country side away from the highway it's now a cobweb of electricity junk . ! Ride a horse or mountain bike !
1:43 I proposed on Valentines Day and got married on Valentines Day the next year. My anniversary is on every calendar and advertised by radio and television in the weeks leading up to it. I've never missed the date in 16 years of marriage and never will.
I swear, sometimes life makes me feel like I'm in a simulation, or I have FBI agent watching over me, or I'm being watched by everyone ....because this video couldn't have come at any better time. Been with the Lady 12/12/09. Struggling with nearly every issue you addressed AND remarkably relatable to what your father said. I do need to listen instead of always trying to solve everything - cant help the person i am, but i can try and be better. Truly, you've helped open my mind, which I'm grateful for.
They will work through their own problems most of the time…woman just want to know they have a soft place to fall if things go wrong. Be that soft place to fall. Keep going brother!
I’m proposing this upcoming Sunday. I feel like this was posted for me, obviously it wasn’t but it feels like it. Sometimes at church the sermon feels like the pastor is talking directly to you and this has the same vibe. Thanks Dewayne!
You don’t see lots of channels as wholesome as this one. It’s not flashy, it’s not trendy, it’s not quick. But what it IS, is it’s real. I’m a suburban from PA. And this channel is as real as it gets folks.
Coming from someone that's been with the same woman for 47 years, it's not always a bumpy road. When you find that someone that was made for you, and that you would do anything in the world for, that you want to spend the rest of your life with; it's an easy time. Sure you don't always agree about everything, but you work it out (as you said). Never for a minute did I think I had made a mistake in my choice for a wife. Of course, as everyone always told me, I married an Angel!
Thank you for sharing your story. Most people talk about marriage and make it sound like something I don’t want to partake in. I always thought that if I just marry the right person I know we will have some issues but it won’t be as hard as some make it out to be.
Love this! My husband and I have taken the worst of circumstances and used them to grow and appreciate each other more. We are still new in the game, but been through a lot!
I discovered this account while I was dating my now ex. we were polar opposites as far as politics and religion, but by watching this guy, I noticed a huge improvement in our relationship. I found ways to grow closer with her, was more understanding, and approached dating as a man should rather than carelessly navigating the relationship. Her and I mutually agreed to cut things off, but I've found great value in continuing to seek guidance from him even as a single man in preparation for my next relationship. I'm 28 and lost my dad my senior year in highschool, so hearing this wisdom from a man who's already experienced life is beyond valuable to me.
Look for your talks daily. 56 here Sir, father of 5 from 28-8 yrs of age. Wisdom comes from all places if your seeking positive influence. Jeff here Mich Resident great respects for you and your wife for the years together. YOU HAVE TO MARRY SMART AND HAVE TO HAVE INFLUENCE FROM A STRONG MOTHER WHO TEACHES YOU RESPECT FOR THE GALS. My Mom said, "You want to save a bunch of money on flowers, learn how to clean your house.
The woman in your life is the biggest decision you'll ever make. Too many men end up with whatever was out there the first time they looked and are fooled by the whole loyal to the soil thing.
My wife. The best investment I’ve ever received out side of Jesus. Had no idea 22 years ago what I was doing…but grace…she is the most giving, and forgiving human being I’ve ever met.
That comes from your father not your mother. If your mother is a good example, you won't have problems with women. If she is a mess, chances are dad is not around or not the head, and you'll have sinful relationships with women, as well.
Extremely grateful you decided to make this channel, life is the greatest teacher. Sometimes there are people who are humble enough and smart enough to sit and listen to others and follow their wisdom. It makes all the difference
My parents have been married almost 50 years, my dad is 70, and for my mom's sake I wish I could send him this video. He shows her a profound lack of kindness because he won't "get outside his comfort zone" and just listen to her when she's having a hard time. She's had to go through so many things alone. I wish these were lessons he had learned.
@Andrew Jackson My mom's parents are still alive but in poor health. A couple months ago it seemed that her dad was going to die. My mom was obviously upset. Instead of comforting her or offering assurances, my dad got annoyed and irritated that she was "too emotional".
@@LadyGlobeTrotter23 that’s the same case currently with my mom. My grandma passed recently in oct ( her mom ) and my dad is literally the same way with her right now . Telling her to stop crying and all that. But my grandma was literally my moms best friend, my moms other world etc.
Agree with all 5 points. 54 and married 31 years. Listening was a big lesson, my wife told me just listen I don’t need you to fix anything till I tell you. Also the two becoming one, the hard part is the becoming. An older couple that has mentored us for 25 years will say to to the other from time to time “I love you but right now I don’t like you”, that means give me time and space so we can process this like adults. Keep up the wonderful advice and wisdom.
I would like to add two things: 6) Never get married unless you can afford atleast 2 bathrooms. 7) Never get married unless you can afford 2 bedrooms. BONUS: It's cheaper to keeper if you are dumb enough to get married in the first place.
Sometimes You’ll Never Know the Value of a Moment Until It Becomes a Memory! Thank you Dewayne for your wisdom and Experience, keep doing what you’re doing!
Amazing. Just cut down and decorated the tree with the family. Came outside lit up a charter oak CT and this popped up. Been married going on 5 years with 2 little ones. Love all your videos.
Your timeline for when things get hard is spot on. We got together at 41, and at year seven and year fourteen it was no joke. You have to decide if you’re in or if you’re out, repeatedly. But you made a vow. And as you said, this choice can absolutely mean the difference between “growing” or “shrinking” as an individual. Like yourself I’m 55 now, and one thing I wish some wise older person had educated me on ahead of time is the degree to which menopause can turn the person you married into a person you don’t recognize at all. My own life’s experience had taught me that what I was seeing meant she needed medical intervention if our marriage was to survive it, but she absolutely did not want any drugs messing with her mind and body. I thought it was selfish to expect a husband to just tolerate Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde suddenly being in our marriage. For many years. But the wisdom of an elderly male widower friend helped me find the perspective I needed to man up to what I thought in the beginning I couldn’t take. A dozen bad days with the woman you love beats a single bad day without that woman that God took away too soon.
As someone who has also experienced how 'the change' really deoes change a woman (for those reading this later) the man also needs to consider that if the woman really does not want artificial drugs & hormones "messing with her mind and body" just so she can remain stuck in time as the "same old persona" the man originally married; and he tries to get her to take them anyway - then is that not a selfish demand as well? Humans are designed by Nature and Source to change and evolve over time. Menopause may have a bit more "outwardly dramatic" impact for the few years the transition is "in process", but Andropause is a real thing too, even though it doesn't get much air-time. I've seen more than a few dramatic personality changes over the years in male mid-life crises too :) 2nd Saturn Returns usually hit around this same time too (56-62 depending on your char), and that's another thing most people don't know about, don't think about or plan for and deal with properly. Both men and women evolve, mature and personalities change over time - for several different reasons. Take REO Speedwagon's advice: You gotta learn how to roll with them changes :)
you are so right on menopause. Split personality. She got hold of a large amount of money when her mother died and didn't need me anymore. My second wife would say that menopausal women should be taken to a desert island to safeguard society. So, you young guys listen up. Be prepared.
24 years now. I think we're right in the middle of one of those "I love you, but I don't like you very much" cycles right now. Thank you, sir. Nobody talks about this stuff, and it's info that is definitely needed.
Some one recently referred me to this channel not too long ago and im glad they did. It's good to have some fatherly advice. I didn't have my dad to guide me through anything, I had to go through everything on my own from my adolescents and through my teens to now. I'm currently 22 pushing 23 next month. And I'm currently married happily for the last 2 years also pushing 3. But im at a point in my life were so many tests and challenges are hitting me all at once. And I'm just having a real hard time adjusting and dealing with everything and just terrified to make even a slight mistake. Hearing your advice on a multiple videos really has helped me so much. I really hope you continue to do videos like these ones. Because I know im not the only one who is dealing with a situation like mine
Boy oh boy that 7th year! That is spot on. At the 10/11 year mark and we are very happy. Year seven was a doozy, year 3 was tough too but we were too clueless to really be all that miserable 😂
My husband and I had the talk about listening very early on because he's also the type to react by taking action to remedy the issue being complained about. He is a superb listener when I'm only venting, but I've learned to really appreciate his input and allow him to fix things with me when he has a solution. I am so unbelievably grateful to have such a smart and caring husband who literally treats me as if I'm an extension of himself.
Thank you man. You are the role model us 90's TV tards never had. I thank god for the internet, and I thank you for taking the risk and time to put your wisdom out there. Much appreciated, and Good Luck to you.
I wish I could have had advice like this when I first got married. It would have made things so much easier and unfortunately I learned the hard way. You were 100% right when you said the 3rd and 7th year being really hard…that’s exactly what happened with mine. Last may was our 7th yr anniversary and a month ago we separated. Unfortunately it’s too far gone and it’s a hard thing to deal with. My wife was my first relationship ever. We got married young, and we had so many “firsts” in life together. Now I’ve just turned 30, and I’m a single dad and in many ways it feels like I am starting all over again in life. I don’t know if I will ever have a serious relationship again, or at least anytime soon but between this advice and what I have already learned the hard way, I know I would approach things differently. Either way, thank you for putting this out there
What is the difference between "I like you" and "I love you" ? When you like a flower, you pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it daily. One who understands this, understands life. Buddha
If you share children, it is so important that they witness you treating the ex with nothing but respect. No bad mouthing in front of the kids. Don't make them choose a side.
I turn 50 in less than a month. Glad I found this. People change. I thought I found 'the one' at age 35. We were together for 5 years. She was a gorgeous, smart, fun mother of 4. We lived together for 4. Moving in, I lost my job. She had a solid full time job. After year two, I began to pursue a new career as did she, both going back to school. I matured. She regressed to party girl status. When the relationship ended, I had a full-time and part-time job. She had been fired from her new career law job that lasted maybe 8 months? She also got fired from two bartender jobs in over 6 months. When she 'dumped' me, I still had those two jobs. She had no job. People change, fortunately and unfortunately
I agree with everything you have said. I would however frame it a little differently. Learning how to serve each other effectively and daily is the greatest tool to create a great marriage. My wife needs a good listener and someone willing to maintain our home and work diligently to provide an income. I need her respect and someone to diligently care for me, which usually means someone to make sure I'm taking care of myself, LOL. Together we have worked to create a partnership that has lasted twenty-six years. And, just as you said, there were rocky years, years that it would have been easy to quit. But we have built a life together that is stronger than any two-edge sword and vital to each of us.
When I was a little kid my grandmother would sometimes drag me to Hobby Lobby or Micheals. Spend an hour looking at things and not buying any of it. So Every time my Fiance has even spoken of one of those places I usually say "Yeah I'm not about that, have fun." I spit laughing when you said you went into a Hobby Lobby. I guess I'll just have to cowboy up for the first time in 4 years and just go
That story about Hobby Lobby was a hoot 😂 it really is more of a women’s space, but some of my best memories are with my dad going to the framing department to get my college artwork matted and framed. The lady who did the framing did an amazing job and taught me a lot too.
Thank you for delivering sage advice to those who clearly need it in the comment section. Too many people are ready to throw in the proverbial towel when their relationship experiences even the slightest amount of difficulty. Some don't even bother to try at all for one reason or another. I hope that one day everyone will get to experience what it is like to find that person who loves them, and that they will know what it is like to find a lifelong partner and best friend.
I’m at year 8 of my marriage and your father was spot on with the 3 year and 7 year timeline. I wasn’t listening to her anymore because I was stressed out with my own stuff at work. Going strong now with my second son due any day. Thanks for your advice and talks.
I had just asked her father’s blessing about two days ago with all of those points being touched during my conversation with her father. I’m grateful to know all these points are universal and truthful across successful marriages. Thank you.
It's fascinating to see all these experienced men step up and mentor what is largely a "fatherless" generation. Most of late Millenials and GenZ either had no father figure or our father figures were not great men. Thank you, and those like you, who are taking time to invest in the young men of my and the next generation. We crave true masculinity, and men like you are beacons of what a man can and should become.
Well said man. There’s also an issue where everything masculine is inherently bad. Masculinity isn’t all about sex, violence, and self-destruction. It’s staying cool, calm, and collected even in the face of challenges. And honestly most modern women aren’t very feminine…it gets perceived as being “weak” when it’s far from it. Masculinity and femininity balance each other out nicely.
This is the first video I stumbled on from Dry Creek Wrangler. I am 35 years old and was never raised with a father. I have been married for 10 years and I am still learning how to accept many things that I have no control of. I have learned to be more patient with people and still learning. Now what this man is saying has caught my attention... SUBSCRIBING! Words of wisdom. Thank you, Sir! I will be looking forward to more of your content!
We share a similar background in that I had an above-average provider for a Carnal Father, but he was not/could not be much of a Spiritual and Emotional mature model for me to emulate. I have looked to and learned a lot from the Better Bachelor YT channel, the Order of Man YT channel and Mr Rich Cooper YT channel. These men are by no means perfect examples of manhood but I think they have important perspectives on manhood to share if you're interested and willing to listen and experiment to find out what works best for you. At worst, maybe they can help to answer any nagging questions you might still have held over from your childhood.
Just recently started watching your channel and Automatically felt like home. My wife and I have been together for 24 years, since we met at 18. The ups have been high and the downs have been low but I am proud to say we have found a way to put love and our family's goals above eachothers own wants or needs. With two kids out of the nest and one more that's 13 it's probably time we focus more on what truly makes eachother happy but to be in the position to do that is a blessing from God himself!
10 seconds into the video, and I can say without a doubt this is what a successful American looks like 😂😂 he’s got everything, the hand-cut firewood, the jeans and boots, the leather jacket and cowboy hat, the magnificent well-groomed beard, all while sitting and smoking a cigar with his southern, country accent. Freaking beautiful man right here. Love to see it
I'm sitting here watching this and you know I got married the same year but in January and I just took my wife to Hobby Lobby last weekend, first time I've ever been. So, I'm just sitting here shaking my head as I watched this. It's a small world and you never know how you may have shared experiences as others as you go through life. Thanks for articulating what we sometimes don't stop to think about or share with others. And sometimes we just need to be reminded of..
This is absolutely beautiful. We are at 27 years married and 31 together since we started dating in high school. I have to say this video is priceless! We wouldn’t have made it if we hadn’t followed very similar principles.
0:24 Rumble 1:06 I don’t have WhatsApp I Don’t Have Telegram, I don’t even know what that is. 1:33 5 Things I Wish I Had Known As A New Husband 1:44 1. Remember Your Anniversary 2:47 1. I wish I had known that I didn’t Know Anything. • Keeps you Humble 4:40 2. Stick It Out, Stay The Course (then Down Then Up Then Down) 6:53 Marriage Is Relearning each other as the marriage grows. 8:48 Take Charge and Fix It Nature of Poppa 9:49 1. Determination 2. Daily Forgiveness 3. Communication, Listening and Talking. 10:54 I did it for her, despite not wanting it myself. I took her to Hobby Lobby 😁 11:58 “If that’s all you need today make you happy.”
Those hit home, our worst years were the 3rd and 6th but we managed somehow. 16.5 years together and going strong now. I am trying to just listen her many times nowadays.
When I think of the money aspect when it comes to ANY relationship, I always think of the quote "You can always make more money, But you can't get back more time." I don't know who said it, but I am always reminded of that. Spend time with them as much as you can, who cares about the dollar amount; that will always come back, but someday they won't.
Thanks so much, Dwayne! I needed that more than ever probably right now. I like to listen to you in the mornings it is sort of like a sermon but in a friendly way. Even when you say some hard truths it doesn't come out judgmental but encouraging. I'm thankful that I found your channel, sir!
My great grandpa used to say regarding a marriage partner - "There ain't nothing better if you got the right one and there ain't nothin worse if you got the wrong one." Mama and I made it through our 3rd year about a year and a half ago and so far, everything Dewayne said here has been correct. Only thing I would add is about kids. There is nothing that can possible prepare one for raising kids together. Make sure your parenting values are aligned and don't let the kids drive a wedge between ya's.
Thank you Duane. These were amazing tip. I was 30 when I meet my wife of 10 years and she had 2 kids from another marriage. I wish you would have made this video 25 years ago. We're divorced, but still talk from time to time. Great video. Thank you my friend.
Great advice! Your Dad's words are jewels. Mine used to say "one of the worst things in life is to not be taken seriously." Listen, participate, respect. Thanks for not candy-coating the hard parts. My humble opinion; if we didn't think we had the world by the tail when we were young we wouldn't be able to wag it later. Gotta be some reason for youthful ignorance?
Thank you sir. I have been married for 20 years now. When I read the title first three things that came to my mind were 1. Just shut up and listen just like you said 2. Money. Don’t get spread too thin to make it an issue. 3. Communicate. About EVERYTHING money, joys, fears and goals. Like you said also, put your head down and get past that 7th year and things turn out better than the first year was even at its best. It’s well worth the work. Oh, thank you for mentioning what that cigar was. Always enjoy hearing what the smoke of the day is.
Cool Deanna!!! Leatherwork, cool!! I did it as a teenager, and my mom was good at it, carving, tooling & painting on it! I want to start it up again, so many creative options. We should do this!!
Dry Creek Wrangler School... I agree with you 100%. My wife and I started dating when we was 14, got married when we was 17. We are 55 now and still married.. She is my best friend, my everything. If it wasn't for her I would probably be dead.
I love your wisdom sir I am going through a tough time with my (our) 34yr marriage . Your advice is helping me See things in a clearer way . Love to you and mama x
Thanks for sharing! Great advice. I'm married for the second time, and after the first marriage failed I spent a lot of lonely nights looking inward and looking back, and much of what I discovered you covered in this video. Great job, love the video.
One of the best bits of relationship advice I ever got was to learn how to fight the problem, not the person. Nothing ever gets resolved if you're too busy trying to make eachother feel worse.
I just barely came across this video and your channel, but just wanted to say thanks! I proposed to the love of my life a couple months ago and we're beginning the planning for our big day. Your wisdom means a great deal, greetings from Texas!
Not all men (nor women) are as strong willed. I have so much love for those men and women out there who have the mindset, the morals, ethics, values, to understand what a vow means. Those of you who can are like stars, you light the way and show the rest of us what it can be like, what is should be like. Nothing in life is easy but if we can handle the pressure, you'll come out like a diamond. And you'll be enlightened enough to tell others how to do it just like this guy.
Fascinating. Not only do I agree with everything you have noted in this video, because I've experienced all of it first hand during 47 years of marriage, I noticed that you were smoking the exact same cigar that I was smoking when I first clicked on the video. Something about great minds thinking alike. Dwayne, I always appreciate your videos and have not discovered Mamma's videos as well. I am hearing much the same from you two as we learned years ago reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Besides the book, we also bought the video series on VHS (yes, it's been that long ago). These lessons need to be taught at a young adult age and should be required for ALL new relationships. And, besides marriage relationships, these lessons help tremendously in just every day relations with all the people we deal with in our lives. So, hats off to ya'll. Love and respect you both!
I think Jocko Willink's podcast with Carlos Mendez really helped my marriage, and I wish my parents had this tool. 1) I stopped trying to "fix" or change my wife, I just worked on me. What more can I do to improve for her benefit? She followed suite and it worked. 2) Extreme ownership and commitment. I am committed to taking ownership of failures that may occur in the future, so I try hard to avoid them. My marriage is included. So I told my wife, "What more can I be doing today? What would you like to see more of?" She told me to clean more. So I did. We're happy. We're content. We're a good team.
I've been married to my wife for 7 years but we have been together in total for 17 years. Living together full time for 15 years of that. We definitely had the two "bad" re-adjustment points you spoke about here. Thankfully we came out the other side much stronger. Thank you for sharing your advice here, it's really helpful and gives me some comfort in not having all the answers.
Spot on! Listening, compassion and compromising. Marriage is both people giving 100%. My marriage test came after 35yrs. I became a full time caregiver till she passed. You will find out who your friends are. No answers in a bottom of whiskey bottles. My boys and I healed up with the help of a very smart German Shepherd puppy. He’s seven and 125lb puppy now. Lol. I’ve retired, remarried she is fantastic! My boys are doing well, living on their own. Life is good. ✌️
Thank you for all your wisdom, Duane. I'm going to be marrying a very beautiful and loving gal soon, and there's so much for me to learn. I have learned some, but it's taken a lot of time and patience with each other, especially her patience with me. She's my first ever, and I pray she is my last. I love her very dearly, and will do my bets to be a good husband. Thank you for all your wisdom!
I've had a great marriage for 18 years. Dated for about 4 before that. I never even had the bad 3rd or 6th year. Maybe it was bad for her and she was just too nice to tell me. My parents were married multiple times each and the best marriage was their first, to each other, for 21 years. And it wasn't great. But I know two things that have helped my marriage tremendously. First, I make her feel safe. And second, we want the same things out of life. This is a great 5 tips, but I'd bet Dwanye has both of those things in his marriage. Guys, make your woman feel safe and you'll have a much more enjoyable relationship.
I truly appreciate this. Thank you! It seems like the recurring theme is that you communicate and you each do your part. Be a team. I think we got that so far, thank God! Your wisdom is invaluable to my generation!
Huge thing is to not have contempt for your partner. You love them unconditionally and work with them, NEVER against them. Your partner should never be your opponent
Great points! 16 years with my wife, and one of the biggest helpers is us not getting frustrated with the other one or take it personal when one of us is in a pissy mood. We also don’t stay mad at each other for long periods of time even if we don’t agree on things. If you haven’t already check out Tandy Leather online.
I highly recommend the book 'Men are from Mars Women are from Venus' by Dr John Gray. It talks about differences in men and women and how to have a happy relationship. It's really helped me appreciate and understand my partner and the reasoning behind some actions.
Outside of my office door is a sign that says, "The more I know about GIS, the less I know..." and it is so applicable in so many areas. Marriage is definitely that way. You can keep on learning. And as you learn more, you begin to realize the scope of the subject and find out more that you really don't know about the subject yet. Absolutely love listening to these talks...
I got married on my birthday! What a present! What you bet I never forget my anniversary? The wife said: "No divorce!" before we agreed to marriage. 16 yrs so far and Duane is correct!
God bless you and your family and community!! Father of five with one on the way and I couldn't do it without my wife she is the biggest blessing in my life by a mile!! Good advice as always thanks brother!!
Couldn’t agree more. Marriage is ups and downs. Married 47 years this February so I speck with authority on this. Love your channel. Always give me something to think on till the next one. Thanks again
I agree with you for the most part but when a woman starts throwing glass liquor bottles at our kids and tried to shoot the neighbor because she wanted to know if her daughter could stay and play with our daughter while she goes grocery shopping then I highly recommend getting yourself and your children out of that environment, some women can be just as or even more violent and toxic than a man...
Maybe I’m just ignorant but I’ve been married for about 6 years I’m 25 years old and I was blown away when you explained that we grow and change and that we have to relearn ourselves. Because most of our problems have been because we aren’t the same person we were when we first got married she has changed and so have I and after you said that it opened my eyes thank you man that was a damn good explanation!
Hey Dewayne, thanks for making this video. I’d like to build myself into a great husband for my future family so this talk was really helpful :) Currently, however, as a young person, I find that the majority of people I meet- regardless of how polite, kind or friendly they may initially appear- eventually treat me poorly despite my constant effort to help and provide. Although I want to, this inevitable mistreatment has began to discourage the idea of meeting new people or helping others. Any advice?
To me this reminds me of a similar yet different situation from a woman's side. In my dating years I would date guys who were always professing to care so much really fast. So in my mind I'm thinking, no one gets attached that fast, SO they probably "want something" So to ferret that out I wouldn't advance in that type of arena very fast. Sure enough by date number 3 most had moved on to their next target. So I'd say the same for you. don't be the one to offer yourself up so fast. See who sticks around for YOU and not what you can do for them. There are plenty of takers in all situations as you've seen for yourself. It's sad for sure, but it seems to be the way you have to approach things. No more giving people the benefit of the doubt. But having them earn that through their actions or non actions.
Thanks Dwayne! You’re right on par :) All great things i’m so glad my husband and I (mostly) share even though we met later in life- only 4 years married. You seem like a great husband to your wife and thanks for being honest and open and sharing your experiences. No quitting! 💕
Come across this video, just as me and my wife are in our 3rd year of marriage and going through absolute hell. Whilst it seems like all hope may be lost. I am staying the course, taking responsibility for my actions as a man and her husband. I am working on bettering myself for me and also my marriage. I am staying committed to it and proving to her that I want to grow as a man to be the one she needs and the one she was in love with when we got married. I truly do believe as you and your father said that if we can get over this, we will learn to overcome other obstacles. She may feel detached and checked out from it all at the moment and I may be taking one hell of a mental beating, but I truly believe we can do this. This video was just what I needed in some of my darkest days. Thankyou for the inspiration my friend. All the way from Australia.
Mom used to say God gave us two ears and one mouth to listen twice as much as we talk money is not evil it's the love of money that's evil it's just a means to an end like drinking water you get it you get rid of it 😊😁🐝 been there three times ain't going back
I constantly worry about the future, especially when it comes to my career and money. But I have found, as you said, honesty makes things so much easier to manage. In past relationships, I hid things because I didn't want to feel shame or judgment. But now, I can be who I want to be and I put a huge emphasis on honesty and open communication. I don't bottle things up as much as a used to and I think that goes along with that. Whenever my girlfriend and I have a disagreement, we talk about it pretty quickly. We don't leave it to fester. And we call each other out when we do each other wrong and reach an understanding. That took YEARS of hard lessons to learn, but it truly does make things so much better. It fills you with a sense of inner peace and confidence in the solid foundation of your relationship.
I really resonate with the comment about listening -- both ways. My husband can sometimes bottle things up. I won't push it if he's not ready to say, but I wouldn't be a good friend if I wasn't ready to listen. If I don't know, it can be harder to be there for him and understand him and his needs right now. In turn, I really appreciate when my husband listens to my troubles. He's my best friend. That's what friends do. It's particularly important that he not try to solve it, unless I ask for help brainstorming solutions. Firstly, because his assumption that I need a solution can undermine my own power. I'm also capable of solving many things that are frustrating. I don't need him to do it for me, but I do want him to stand with me. What I'm seeking is solidarity with my best friend in the acknowledgment that something just isn't right. Oftentimes, that's all. Lots of good thoughts here.
Dwayne . I’m a 34 year old Hispanic man . I was mostly rapping in my youth and still dabble from time to time . I played video games a lot in my youth but have slowed that down a tad bit 😂 . I have a family now and have been prioritizing them first a lot more. I just want to say thank you for these videos . We may come from different backgrounds but it’s amazing how your channel has helped me lately . Have a blessed one .
40 years together. My wife passed 3 years ago. Enjoy every bump in the journey. The vowl "until death do you part" is no joke. Love while you can.
I'm sorry for your loss.
You are absolutely right, sir. My wife and I were married 28 years (together for a total of 30) and she suddenly and unexpectedly passed away 3 years ago December 6th (a dreaded anniversary in a couple of days.)
Cherish all the moments you can, learn from the valleys and enjoy the peaks. It goes much faster than one can imagine!
In case his comment gets deleted, Dry Creek was responding to The Tunnell Take who said "To over half of the population that vowl is a joke." and not OP, so there's no confusion with that
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had a lot of loss myself throughout my life and I tell people all the time how precious life is. Honor and love the people in your life. Life can turn on a dime and tomorrow may never come. May the Lord keep you Tim, may you rest in His peace.
@@TheTunnellTake When did DeWayne state that he was here to listen to every stranger on the internets life experiences? Especially the ones who are just spewing constant negativity? You’re the one here listening to HIM. The fact that you think you can tell a woman is behind a comment that any woman or man could make shows your ignorance. Like DeWayne said in his previous video - “No one cares if your butt hurts”. You’re starting to sound like a child begging for their parents attention and it’s not a good look.
42 year marriage, wife died 2 years ago. I will never remarry. I was her home nurse for the last 5 years, changing diapers, giving medication, showers, and cooking for her every day. I sat next to her bed here at home holding her hand as she passed away. I Did my duty, and fulfilled my vows above and beyond the normal. Today women like to say you are not a man if you won't take on a woman. I already served my time and won't do it again. I am tired and just ready to go be with my one and only Wife in heaven.
Bless you sir, I truly hope you find solace and peace in the remembrance of your wife. She’ll always be keeping watch over you. I hope that the remainder of your time is as pleasant as it can be. May the lord bless you and keep you, may he shine his light down upon you and be gracious to you, may he lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. And may he cover you with his son’s name; Jesus.
Amen. God bless you and your heavenly wife
I'm 26, just getting started, and pray to be half the man you've been to yours.
I pray that I will be have the husband you have been
Damn near made me tear up. God bless you and your honey, my man!
1 - Wish I knew I knew nothing
2 - Forgiveness daily
3 - Listen
4 - Compromise to support interests
5 - Get on same page on finances
I would say
4 - from time to time do things you couldn't give a flying piece of dirt about but your partner enjoys doing them with you.
But ye, that's just me.
6. Randomly give her a foot massage without asking.
Nice summary but to those who haven't watched, if you are just coming for the crib notes, why bother?
Made my dAY!
@@SPBurt1 i’m taking a shit at work i won’t have time to finish the video right now so i’m thankful
The question: "Do you need solutions or do you need comfort?" Has been the single most important phrase in our marriage.
Literally the best thing I've learned in the past 10 years that saved a relationship for me one time
That would help with friends and kids too. Just a great thing to say and practice.
👏🥳 Seriously effective communication and solution strategy! 😃 Saving this!
I wish I had heard this years ago when I was 29 😮
I’m using that one thank you!
Yeah! It took me a bit to realize that my wife didn’t want me to fix her problems. Just listen to her about them. For us, divorce was never in our vocabulary. Murder… yes… but divorce? No!
Now that's funny. Good on you two.
Fortunately I read about this years ago. They live to talk about their worries which makes them feel they're resolved just by listening. Some women almost make complaining a sport though.
@@OffGridInvestorlol fr
Hahahaha :D
Noted
“Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends.”
That sounds uhhhhh...
Love this.
Or like the parents on everybody loves Raymond.
The only class I’m never late for
🍻
Dewayne is a natural teacher or mentor or leader.
What is your age out of curiosity?
There is no age. There is only life, and we just do the best we can
@@DryCreekWranglerSchool Man, a cowboy philosopher. I wonder if you even know how much good you could accomplish in bringing young people together. They're angry and have been so misled by people with lesser minds, to hate their neighbors.
Is it not true that the possibility of greatness in the UNITED States, is our capacity to unite.
God bless man.
Hey Dwayne, coming from a female, I would love to hear Mom’s perspective on 5 things she had known as a new wife. Thanks for always sharing; we appreciate you.
She’s actually working on that one now 😊
Oh yes, that's also very interesting!
@@DryCreekWranglerSchool I'm really excited for that video!
Same! I just got married yesterday and want to be the best for my husband
@@DryCreekWranglerSchool exciting! I look forward to it
28 years old father of 2 boys and one in the chamber. Just got back from gatlinburg with the family. 2months ago I was drinking beer way too much letting it bleed to my relationships and work ethic. I found out my Fiancé of 6 months was pregnant about a month ago half lit I stared at those pregnancy tests for hours with a different feeling then my two boys before. I talked to God for two hours straight that night I found out my sweet woman was pregnant. I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since that night like I had told God I would in result he’s blessing me more and more everyday. I found your channel literally the morning after me and God made that pact and I do feel that it was for a reason. God bless brother from your neighbors down in middle Tennessee! Your videos are just a piece of me trying to educate myself and be a man I can be proud of. Your words don’t fall on deaf ears brother I promise you that.
God speaks in many ways and He is absolutely speaking to you through technology right now. He does this all the time in my experience. 💕✝️
Mike. Keep doing right by yourself, your loved ones. And God. And you will keep going from strength to strength.
Well done on the drinking, it’s no small thing. Your comment can’t be written by a bad person, you’re a good man and I wish the best for you and your loved ones in the years to come.
God bless brother
Yes Here you loud and clear . Continue your journey. Take your Family on an old fashioned Picnic ! Enjoy the outdoors and the indoors with your family .
Kids won’t always save u. But stay strong as long as u can and if u end up finding out that u keep going despite telling yourself you wouldn’t, make sure you ask someone for help. Cause u won’t figure it out on ur own i promise you.
@@BigNeckSmallWaist . What is important is the correct promt non profit trained help . Surprisingly The messages and wisdom is in Folk, Music of Quality but you have go through life living or have lived to hear the words . Johnny Cash is a prime example. I feel we are on another cycle of Industrial change . Not much different to 1968 ! Get out and look at the country side away from the highway it's now a cobweb of electricity junk . ! Ride a horse or mountain bike !
1:43 I proposed on Valentines Day and got married on Valentines Day the next year. My anniversary is on every calendar and advertised by radio and television in the weeks leading up to it. I've never missed the date in 16 years of marriage and never will.
I swear, sometimes life makes me feel like I'm in a simulation, or I have FBI agent watching over me, or I'm being watched by everyone ....because this video couldn't have come at any better time.
Been with the Lady 12/12/09. Struggling with nearly every issue you addressed AND remarkably relatable to what your father said.
I do need to listen instead of always trying to solve everything - cant help the person i am, but i can try and be better.
Truly, you've helped open my mind, which I'm grateful for.
Women often just want the problem to be heard. And that IN ITSELF makes the problem resolved in many cases.
Same here man. My girl gets so frustrated by me trying to solve her problems instead of just simply listening to her
They will work through their own problems most of the time…woman just want to know they have a soft place to fall if things go wrong. Be that soft place to fall. Keep going brother!
Check out Esther Perel's work in this arena. She's about the best in the world, Ted talks, books, etc
john gottman of the gottman instatute and stan tatkin of the pact institute also have great materials for improving relationships
I’m proposing this upcoming Sunday. I feel like this was posted for me, obviously it wasn’t but it feels like it. Sometimes at church the sermon feels like the pastor is talking directly to you and this has the same vibe. Thanks Dewayne!
I wish you the best of luck through this journey!
God bless you
So today's the big day! I hope it went well! :)
@@spacesandy3410 SHE SAID YES!
@@lucas.likes.fishing AAAAA CONGRATULATIONS!! 🥳
You don’t see lots of channels as wholesome as this one. It’s not flashy, it’s not trendy, it’s not quick. But what it IS, is it’s real.
I’m a suburban from PA. And this channel is as real as it gets folks.
Coming from someone that's been with the same woman for 47 years, it's not always a bumpy road. When you find that someone that was made for you, and that you would do anything in the world for, that you want to spend the rest of your life with; it's an easy time. Sure you don't always agree about everything, but you work it out (as you said). Never for a minute did I think I had made a mistake in my choice for a wife. Of course, as everyone always told me, I married an Angel!
Thank you for sharing your story. Most people talk about marriage and make it sound like something I don’t want to partake in. I always thought that if I just marry the right person I know we will have some issues but it won’t be as hard as some make it out to be.
Love this! My husband and I have taken the worst of circumstances and used them to grow and appreciate each other more. We are still new in the game, but been through a lot!
I discovered this account while I was dating my now ex. we were polar opposites as far as politics and religion, but by watching this guy, I noticed a huge improvement in our relationship. I found ways to grow closer with her, was more understanding, and approached dating as a man should rather than carelessly navigating the relationship. Her and I mutually agreed to cut things off, but I've found great value in continuing to seek guidance from him even as a single man in preparation for my next relationship.
I'm 28 and lost my dad my senior year in highschool, so hearing this wisdom from a man who's already experienced life is beyond valuable to me.
Hey friend, glad you’re taking the proper time to reflect. I lost my Dad at 24, so I feel you. Happy to chat/connect if you’d like.
Look for your talks daily. 56 here Sir, father of 5 from 28-8 yrs of age. Wisdom comes from all places if your seeking positive influence. Jeff here Mich Resident great respects for you and your wife for the years together. YOU HAVE TO MARRY SMART AND HAVE TO HAVE INFLUENCE FROM A STRONG MOTHER WHO TEACHES YOU RESPECT FOR THE GALS. My Mom said, "You want to save a bunch of money on flowers, learn how to clean your house.
The woman in your life is the biggest decision you'll ever make. Too many men end up with whatever was out there the first time they looked and are fooled by the whole loyal to the soil thing.
My wife. The best investment I’ve ever received out side of Jesus. Had no idea 22 years ago what I was doing…but grace…she is the most giving, and forgiving human being I’ve ever met.
Wow I just found and you are so wise I want teach my son these values u are teaching me thank you
We need more males in the homemaking industry.
That comes from your father not your mother. If your mother is a good example, you won't have problems with women. If she is a mess, chances are dad is not around or not the head, and you'll have sinful relationships with women, as well.
Extremely grateful you decided to make this channel, life is the greatest teacher. Sometimes there are people who are humble enough and smart enough to sit and listen to others and follow their wisdom. It makes all the difference
My parents have been married almost 50 years, my dad is 70, and for my mom's sake I wish I could send him this video. He shows her a profound lack of kindness because he won't "get outside his comfort zone" and just listen to her when she's having a hard time. She's had to go through so many things alone. I wish these were lessons he had learned.
it's heartbreaking :(
@Andrew Jackson My mom's parents are still alive but in poor health. A couple months ago it seemed that her dad was going to die. My mom was obviously upset. Instead of comforting her or offering assurances, my dad got annoyed and irritated that she was "too emotional".
@@LadyGlobeTrotter23 that’s the same case currently with my mom. My grandma passed recently in oct ( her mom ) and my dad is literally the same way with her right now . Telling her to stop crying and all that. But my grandma was literally my moms best friend, my moms other world etc.
Agree with all 5 points. 54 and married 31 years. Listening was a big lesson, my wife told me just listen I don’t need you to fix anything till I tell you. Also the two becoming one, the hard part is the becoming. An older couple that has mentored us for 25 years will say to to the other from time to time “I love you but right now I don’t like you”, that means give me time and space so we can process this like adults. Keep up the wonderful advice and wisdom.
I would like to add two things: 6) Never get married unless you can afford atleast 2 bathrooms. 7) Never get married unless you can afford 2 bedrooms. BONUS: It's cheaper to keeper if you are dumb enough to get married in the first place.
Sometimes You’ll Never Know the Value of a Moment Until It Becomes a Memory! Thank you Dewayne for your wisdom and Experience, keep doing what you’re doing!
Awesome quote
I made our anniversary my password for various things, never forgot again!
Genius!
Amazing. Just cut down and decorated the tree with the family. Came outside lit up a charter oak CT and this popped up. Been married going on 5 years with 2 little ones. Love all your videos.
Your timeline for when things get hard is spot on. We got together at 41, and at year seven and year fourteen it was no joke. You have to decide if you’re in or if you’re out, repeatedly. But you made a vow. And as you said, this choice can absolutely mean the difference between “growing” or “shrinking” as an individual. Like yourself I’m 55 now, and one thing I wish some wise older person had educated me on ahead of time is the degree to which menopause can turn the person you married into a person you don’t recognize at all. My own life’s experience had taught me that what I was seeing meant she needed medical intervention if our marriage was to survive it, but she absolutely did not want any drugs messing with her mind and body. I thought it was selfish to expect a husband to just tolerate Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde suddenly being in our marriage. For many years. But the wisdom of an elderly male widower friend helped me find the perspective I needed to man up to what I thought in the beginning I couldn’t take. A dozen bad days with the woman you love beats a single bad day without that woman that God took away too soon.
As someone who has also experienced how 'the change' really deoes change a woman (for those reading this later) the man also needs to consider that if the woman really does not want artificial drugs & hormones "messing with her mind and body" just so she can remain stuck in time as the "same old persona" the man originally married; and he tries to get her to take them anyway - then is that not a selfish demand as well? Humans are designed by Nature and Source to change and evolve over time. Menopause may have a bit more "outwardly dramatic" impact for the few years the transition is "in process", but Andropause is a real thing too, even though it doesn't get much air-time. I've seen more than a few dramatic personality changes over the years in male mid-life crises too :) 2nd Saturn Returns usually hit around this same time too (56-62 depending on your char), and that's another thing most people don't know about, don't think about or plan for and deal with properly. Both men and women evolve, mature and personalities change over time - for several different reasons. Take REO Speedwagon's advice: You gotta learn how to roll with them changes :)
you are so right on menopause. Split personality. She got hold of a large amount of money when her mother died and didn't need me anymore. My second wife would say that menopausal women should be taken to a desert island to safeguard society. So, you young guys listen up. Be prepared.
24 years now. I think we're right in the middle of one of those "I love you, but I don't like you very much" cycles right now. Thank you, sir. Nobody talks about this stuff, and it's info that is definitely needed.
Thanks so much for taking the time to do these, sir!! You're always inspiring.
True,
Some one recently referred me to this channel not too long ago and im glad they did. It's good to have some fatherly advice. I didn't have my dad to guide me through anything, I had to go through everything on my own from my adolescents and through my teens to now. I'm currently 22 pushing 23 next month. And I'm currently married happily for the last 2 years also pushing 3. But im at a point in my life were so many tests and challenges are hitting me all at once. And I'm just having a real hard time adjusting and dealing with everything and just terrified to make even a slight mistake. Hearing your advice on a multiple videos really has helped me so much. I really hope you continue to do videos like these ones. Because I know im not the only one who is dealing with a situation like mine
Boy oh boy that 7th year! That is spot on. At the 10/11 year mark and we are very happy. Year seven was a doozy, year 3 was tough too but we were too clueless to really be all that miserable 😂
My husband and I had the talk about listening very early on because he's also the type to react by taking action to remedy the issue being complained about. He is a superb listener when I'm only venting, but I've learned to really appreciate his input and allow him to fix things with me when he has a solution. I am so unbelievably grateful to have such a smart and caring husband who literally treats me as if I'm an extension of himself.
Thank you man. You are the role model us 90's TV tards never had. I thank god for the internet, and I thank you for taking the risk and time to put your wisdom out there. Much appreciated, and Good Luck to you.
I wish I could have had advice like this when I first got married. It would have made things so much easier and unfortunately I learned the hard way. You were 100% right when you said the 3rd and 7th year being really hard…that’s exactly what happened with mine. Last may was our 7th yr anniversary and a month ago we separated. Unfortunately it’s too far gone and it’s a hard thing to deal with. My wife was my first relationship ever. We got married young, and we had so many “firsts” in life together. Now I’ve just turned 30, and I’m a single dad and in many ways it feels like I am starting all over again in life. I don’t know if I will ever have a serious relationship again, or at least anytime soon but between this advice and what I have already learned the hard way, I know I would approach things differently. Either way, thank you for putting this out there
I wish you the best. What you're going through definitely hard and I hope you manage to pull through and find happiness again.
@@samanhosseinzadeh442 thank you
What is the difference between "I like you" and "I love you" ?
When you like a flower, you pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it daily.
One who understands this, understands life. Buddha
If you share children, it is so important that they witness you treating the ex with nothing but respect. No bad mouthing in front of the kids. Don't make them choose a side.
I turn 50 in less than a month. Glad I found this.
People change. I thought I found 'the one' at age 35. We were together for 5 years. She was a gorgeous, smart, fun mother of 4. We lived together for 4. Moving in, I lost my job. She had a solid full time job. After year two, I began to pursue a new career as did she, both going back to school. I matured. She regressed to party girl status. When the relationship ended, I had a full-time and part-time job. She had been fired from her new career law job that lasted maybe 8 months? She also got fired from two bartender jobs in over 6 months. When she 'dumped' me, I still had those two jobs. She had no job.
People change, fortunately and unfortunately
I agree with everything you have said. I would however frame it a little differently. Learning how to serve each other effectively and daily is the greatest tool to create a great marriage. My wife needs a good listener and someone willing to maintain our home and work diligently to provide an income. I need her respect and someone to diligently care for me, which usually means someone to make sure I'm taking care of myself, LOL. Together we have worked to create a partnership that has lasted twenty-six years. And, just as you said, there were rocky years, years that it would have been easy to quit. But we have built a life together that is stronger than any two-edge sword and vital to each of us.
When I was a little kid my grandmother would sometimes drag me to Hobby Lobby or Micheals. Spend an hour looking at things and not buying any of it. So Every time my Fiance has even spoken of one of those places I usually say
"Yeah I'm not about that, have fun."
I spit laughing when you said you went into a Hobby Lobby. I guess I'll just have to cowboy up for the first time in 4 years and just go
Hobby Lobby actually has some legit leather working kits and stuff. You just need to go to the right aisle.
That story about Hobby Lobby was a hoot 😂 it really is more of a women’s space, but some of my best memories are with my dad going to the framing department to get my college artwork matted and framed. The lady who did the framing did an amazing job and taught me a lot too.
Thank you for delivering sage advice to those who clearly need it in the comment section. Too many people are ready to throw in the proverbial towel when their relationship experiences even the slightest amount of difficulty. Some don't even bother to try at all for one reason or another. I hope that one day everyone will get to experience what it is like to find that person who loves them, and that they will know what it is like to find a lifelong partner and best friend.
As a bachelor always thinking about marriage and having a wife, this helps a lot. Thank you
I’m at year 8 of my marriage and your father was spot on with the 3 year and 7 year timeline. I wasn’t listening to her anymore because I was stressed out with my own stuff at work. Going strong now with my second son due any day. Thanks for your advice and talks.
I had just asked her father’s blessing about two days ago with all of those points being touched during my conversation with her father. I’m grateful to know all these points are universal and truthful across successful marriages. Thank you.
It's fascinating to see all these experienced men step up and mentor what is largely a "fatherless" generation. Most of late Millenials and GenZ either had no father figure or our father figures were not great men. Thank you, and those like you, who are taking time to invest in the young men of my and the next generation. We crave true masculinity, and men like you are beacons of what a man can and should become.
You are worth it
Well said man. There’s also an issue where everything masculine is inherently bad. Masculinity isn’t all about sex, violence, and self-destruction. It’s staying cool, calm, and collected even in the face of challenges. And honestly most modern women aren’t very feminine…it gets perceived as being “weak” when it’s far from it. Masculinity and femininity balance each other out nicely.
Maybe their dad's should have stuck around and raised them then?
This is the first video I stumbled on from Dry Creek Wrangler. I am 35 years old and was never raised with a father. I have been married for 10 years and I am still learning how to accept many things that I have no control of. I have learned to be more patient with people and still learning. Now what this man is saying has caught my attention... SUBSCRIBING! Words of wisdom. Thank you, Sir! I will be looking forward to more of your content!
We share a similar background in that I had an above-average provider for a Carnal Father, but he was not/could not be much of a Spiritual and Emotional mature model for me to emulate.
I have looked to and learned a lot from the Better Bachelor YT channel, the Order of Man YT channel and Mr Rich Cooper YT channel.
These men are by no means perfect examples of manhood but I think they have important perspectives on manhood to share if you're interested and willing to listen and experiment to find out what works best for you.
At worst, maybe they can help to answer any nagging questions you might still have held over from your childhood.
Just recently started watching your channel and Automatically felt like home. My wife and I have been together for 24 years, since we met at 18. The ups have been high and the downs have been low but I am proud to say we have found a way to put love and our family's goals above eachothers own wants or needs. With two kids out of the nest and one more that's 13 it's probably time we focus more on what truly makes eachother happy but to be in the position to do that is a blessing from God himself!
10 seconds into the video, and I can say without a doubt this is what a successful American looks like 😂😂 he’s got everything, the hand-cut firewood, the jeans and boots, the leather jacket and cowboy hat, the magnificent well-groomed beard, all while sitting and smoking a cigar with his southern, country accent. Freaking beautiful man right here. Love to see it
I'm sitting here watching this and you know I got married the same year but in January and I just took my wife to Hobby Lobby last weekend, first time I've ever been. So, I'm just sitting here shaking my head as I watched this. It's a small world and you never know how you may have shared experiences as others as you go through life. Thanks for articulating what we sometimes don't stop to think about or share with others. And sometimes we just need to be reminded of..
Amen to all of it!!! Bless you & Momma!!! Awesome channel!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️
We share the same wedding anniversary. I'm 3 weeks into my new role as a husband. Happy Belated Anniversary to you and your wife Mr. Noel.
This is absolutely beautiful. We are at 27 years married and 31 together since we started dating in high school. I have to say this video is priceless! We wouldn’t have made it if we hadn’t followed very similar principles.
0:24 Rumble
1:06 I don’t have WhatsApp I Don’t Have Telegram, I don’t even know what that is.
1:33 5 Things I Wish I Had Known As A New Husband
1:44 1. Remember Your Anniversary
2:47 1. I wish I had known that I didn’t Know Anything.
• Keeps you Humble
4:40 2. Stick It Out, Stay The Course (then Down Then Up Then Down)
6:53 Marriage Is Relearning each other as the marriage grows.
8:48 Take Charge and Fix It Nature of Poppa
9:49
1. Determination
2. Daily Forgiveness
3. Communication, Listening and Talking.
10:54 I did it for her, despite not wanting it myself. I took her to Hobby Lobby 😁
11:58 “If that’s all you need today make you happy.”
Amen! 34 years here in 15 days- 39 if you count dating! How time flies!
Those hit home, our worst years were the 3rd and 6th but we managed somehow. 16.5 years together and going strong now. I am trying to just listen her many times nowadays.
When I think of the money aspect when it comes to ANY relationship, I always think of the quote "You can always make more money, But you can't get back more time." I don't know who said it, but I am always reminded of that. Spend time with them as much as you can, who cares about the dollar amount; that will always come back, but someday they won't.
Thanks so much, Dwayne! I needed that more than ever probably right now. I like to listen to you in the mornings it is sort of like a sermon but in a friendly way. Even when you say some hard truths it doesn't come out judgmental but encouraging. I'm thankful that I found your channel, sir!
My ex just wasn't willing to stick it out through the rough year. She just couldn't understand it would get better and nothing is ever perfect
Yeah move on. Clearly only there for the good times and not willing to get through the bad times.
My wife and I are coming up on 1 year in March, I’m really grateful for advice like this. Thank you for talking about this topic!
My great grandpa used to say regarding a marriage partner - "There ain't nothing better if you got the right one and there ain't nothin worse if you got the wrong one." Mama and I made it through our 3rd year about a year and a half ago and so far, everything Dewayne said here has been correct. Only thing I would add is about kids. There is nothing that can possible prepare one for raising kids together. Make sure your parenting values are aligned and don't let the kids drive a wedge between ya's.
Your marriage should come before the children. One day, they’ll grow up and move out.
Thank you Duane. These were amazing tip. I was 30 when I meet my wife of 10 years and she had 2 kids from another marriage. I wish you would have made this video 25 years ago. We're divorced, but still talk from time to time. Great video. Thank you my friend.
Great advice! Your Dad's words are jewels. Mine used to say "one of the worst things in life is to not be taken seriously." Listen, participate, respect. Thanks for not candy-coating the hard parts. My humble opinion; if we didn't think we had the world by the tail when we were young we wouldn't be able to wag it later. Gotta be some reason for youthful ignorance?
Thank you sir. I have been married for 20 years now. When I read the title first three things that came to my mind were 1. Just shut up and listen just like you said 2. Money. Don’t get spread too thin to make it an issue. 3. Communicate. About EVERYTHING money, joys, fears and goals.
Like you said also, put your head down and get past that 7th year and things turn out better than the first year was even at its best. It’s well worth the work.
Oh, thank you for mentioning what that cigar was. Always enjoy hearing what the smoke of the day is.
Cool Deanna!!! Leatherwork, cool!! I did it as a teenager, and my mom was good at it, carving, tooling & painting on it! I want to start it up again, so many creative options. We should do this!!
Dry Creek Wrangler School... I agree with you 100%. My wife and I started dating when we was 14, got married when we was 17. We are 55 now and still married.. She is my best friend, my everything. If it wasn't for her I would probably be dead.
Thank you for the great, inspiring videos. Always a treat.
I love your wisdom sir I am going through a tough time with my (our) 34yr marriage .
Your advice is helping me
See things in a clearer way . Love to you and mama x
This is like if Arthur Morgan never fell ill and survived RDR2
Do you think Arthur would have gotten married? He seemed like he was destined to stay single but who knows…
Lol this is great
Well said sir, my thoughts exactly.
That part at end of rdr2 made me cry
Scary isn't it? As though we can hear other words of wisdom he might have said to John...
Thanks for sharing! Great advice. I'm married for the second time, and after the first marriage failed I spent a lot of lonely nights looking inward and looking back, and much of what I discovered you covered in this video. Great job, love the video.
One of the best bits of relationship advice I ever got was to learn how to fight the problem, not the person. Nothing ever gets resolved if you're too busy trying to make eachother feel worse.
I just barely came across this video and your channel, but just wanted to say thanks! I proposed to the love of my life a couple months ago and we're beginning the planning for our big day. Your wisdom means a great deal, greetings from Texas!
Not all men (nor women) are as strong willed. I have so much love for those men and women out there who have the mindset, the morals, ethics, values, to understand what a vow means. Those of you who can are like stars, you light the way and show the rest of us what it can be like, what is should be like.
Nothing in life is easy but if we can handle the pressure, you'll come out like a diamond. And you'll be enlightened enough to tell others how to do it just like this guy.
Fascinating. Not only do I agree with everything you have noted in this video, because I've experienced all of it first hand during 47 years of marriage, I noticed that you were smoking the exact same cigar that I was smoking when I first clicked on the video. Something about great minds thinking alike. Dwayne, I always appreciate your videos and have not discovered Mamma's videos as well. I am hearing much the same from you two as we learned years ago reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Besides the book, we also bought the video series on VHS (yes, it's been that long ago). These lessons need to be taught at a young adult age and should be required for ALL new relationships. And, besides marriage relationships, these lessons help tremendously in just every day relations with all the people we deal with in our lives. So, hats off to ya'll. Love and respect you both!
I think Jocko Willink's podcast with Carlos Mendez really helped my marriage, and I wish my parents had this tool. 1) I stopped trying to "fix" or change my wife, I just worked on me. What more can I do to improve for her benefit? She followed suite and it worked. 2) Extreme ownership and commitment. I am committed to taking ownership of failures that may occur in the future, so I try hard to avoid them. My marriage is included. So I told my wife, "What more can I be doing today? What would you like to see more of?" She told me to clean more. So I did. We're happy. We're content. We're a good team.
I've been married to my wife for 7 years but we have been together in total for 17 years. Living together full time for 15 years of that. We definitely had the two "bad" re-adjustment points you spoke about here. Thankfully we came out the other side much stronger. Thank you for sharing your advice here, it's really helpful and gives me some comfort in not having all the answers.
Been married for three months . Together for 8 years before . He is right about growing and maturing. Also communication is super important
Spot on! Listening, compassion and compromising. Marriage is both people giving 100%. My marriage test came after 35yrs. I became a full time caregiver till she passed. You will find out who your friends are. No answers in a bottom of whiskey bottles. My boys and I healed up with the help of a very smart German Shepherd puppy. He’s seven and 125lb puppy now. Lol. I’ve retired, remarried she is fantastic! My boys are doing well, living on their own. Life is good. ✌️
Thank you for all your wisdom, Duane. I'm going to be marrying a very beautiful and loving gal soon, and there's so much for me to learn. I have learned some, but it's taken a lot of time and patience with each other, especially her patience with me. She's my first ever, and I pray she is my last. I love her very dearly, and will do my bets to be a good husband. Thank you for all your wisdom!
Congratulations! Hoping it all works out
Every early morning 5am when I wake up, I would listen/watch your videos. Gives me the boost I need!
72 years old lost my wife of 43 years 9 months ago so many learning experiences cherish them all
Have been married 8 years I love the advice man thank you. Definitely constantly changing as people especially getting together young.
I've had a great marriage for 18 years. Dated for about 4 before that. I never even had the bad 3rd or 6th year. Maybe it was bad for her and she was just too nice to tell me. My parents were married multiple times each and the best marriage was their first, to each other, for 21 years. And it wasn't great. But I know two things that have helped my marriage tremendously. First, I make her feel safe. And second, we want the same things out of life. This is a great 5 tips, but I'd bet Dwanye has both of those things in his marriage. Guys, make your woman feel safe and you'll have a much more enjoyable relationship.
Agreed. 100% None of the other stuff matters without the safety.
Thanks for saying this! You're spot on!
Unfortunately even when you ask for reassurance, they refuse to make you feel safe when you’re going through it
reassurance of what?@@MM-vf5qo
@MM-vf5qo Then it probably means they don't care about your well-being that much!
Wise words! Heard your Momma a couple hours ago on this topic. Thank you to both of you.
Wow I don’t know how I ended up here but I’m subscribing. This was amazing
I just love these videos, practical and wise. Im glad I came across your channel thanks Dewayne.
More power to Rumble 💪🏻the paradigm shift has well begun
I truly appreciate this. Thank you! It seems like the recurring theme is that you communicate and you each do your part. Be a team. I think we got that so far, thank God! Your wisdom is invaluable to my generation!
Huge thing is to not have contempt for your partner. You love them unconditionally and work with them, NEVER against them. Your partner should never be your opponent
Great points!
16 years with my wife, and one of the biggest helpers is us not getting frustrated with the other one or take it personal when one of us is in a pissy mood. We also don’t stay mad at each other for long periods of time even if we don’t agree on things.
If you haven’t already check out Tandy Leather online.
I highly recommend the book 'Men are from Mars Women are from Venus' by Dr John Gray. It talks about differences in men and women and how to have a happy relationship. It's really helped me appreciate and understand my partner and the reasoning behind some actions.
Outside of my office door is a sign that says, "The more I know about GIS, the less I know..." and it is so applicable in so many areas. Marriage is definitely that way. You can keep on learning. And as you learn more, you begin to realize the scope of the subject and find out more that you really don't know about the subject yet. Absolutely love listening to these talks...
What is GIS ?
@@fistfull1 Geographic Information Systems ... basically Digital Mapping, with lots of visual information.
I got married on my birthday! What a present! What you bet I never forget my anniversary? The wife said: "No divorce!" before we agreed to marriage. 16 yrs so far and Duane is correct!
I always joke with my son to find him a girl whose birthday is on Valentine’s Day, and then marry her on that day.
God bless you and your family and community!! Father of five with one on the way and I couldn't do it without my wife she is the biggest blessing in my life by a mile!! Good advice as always thanks brother!!
Stayed single. Which, in retrospect, has had it's good points and so-so points. That's life!
Couldn’t agree more. Marriage is ups and downs. Married 47 years this February so I speck with authority on this. Love your channel. Always give me something to think on till the next one. Thanks again
I agree with you for the most part but when a woman starts throwing glass liquor bottles at our kids and tried to shoot the neighbor because she wanted to know if her daughter could stay and play with our daughter while she goes grocery shopping then I highly recommend getting yourself and your children out of that environment, some women can be just as or even more violent and toxic than a man...
Obviously this advice doesn't apply if you married a criminal sociopath.
Maybe I’m just ignorant but I’ve been married for about 6 years I’m 25 years old and I was blown away when you explained that we grow and change and that we have to relearn ourselves. Because most of our problems have been because we aren’t the same person we were when we first got married she has changed and so have I and after you said that it opened my eyes thank you man that was a damn good explanation!
Hey Dewayne, thanks for making this video. I’d like to build myself into a great husband for my future family so this talk was really helpful :) Currently, however, as a young person, I find that the majority of people I meet- regardless of how polite, kind or friendly they may initially appear- eventually treat me poorly despite my constant effort to help and provide. Although I want to, this inevitable mistreatment has began to discourage the idea of meeting new people or helping others. Any advice?
To me this reminds me of a similar yet different situation from a woman's side. In my dating years I would date guys who were always professing to care so much really fast. So in my mind I'm thinking, no one gets attached that fast, SO they probably "want something" So to ferret that out I wouldn't advance in that type of arena very fast. Sure enough by date number 3 most had moved on to their next target. So I'd say the same for you. don't be the one to offer yourself up so fast. See who sticks around for YOU and not what you can do for them. There are plenty of takers in all situations as you've seen for yourself. It's sad for sure, but it seems to be the way you have to approach things. No more giving people the benefit of the doubt. But having them earn that through their actions or non actions.
Thanks Dwayne! You’re right on par :)
All great things i’m so glad my husband and I (mostly) share even though we met later in life- only 4 years married. You seem like a great husband to your wife and thanks for being honest and open and sharing your experiences. No quitting! 💕
Grow together and love one aanother. It's hard but worth it
Come across this video, just as me and my wife are in our 3rd year of marriage and going through absolute hell. Whilst it seems like all hope may be lost. I am staying the course, taking responsibility for my actions as a man and her husband. I am working on bettering myself for me and also my marriage. I am staying committed to it and proving to her that I want to grow as a man to be the one she needs and the one she was in love with when we got married. I truly do believe as you and your father said that if we can get over this, we will learn to overcome other obstacles. She may feel detached and checked out from it all at the moment and I may be taking one hell of a mental beating, but I truly believe we can do this. This video was just what I needed in some of my darkest days. Thankyou for the inspiration my friend.
All the way from Australia.
Mom used to say God gave us two ears and one mouth to listen twice as much as we talk money is not evil it's the love of money that's evil it's just a means to an end like drinking water you get it you get rid of it 😊😁🐝 been there three times ain't going back
I constantly worry about the future, especially when it comes to my career and money. But I have found, as you said, honesty makes things so much easier to manage. In past relationships, I hid things because I didn't want to feel shame or judgment. But now, I can be who I want to be and I put a huge emphasis on honesty and open communication. I don't bottle things up as much as a used to and I think that goes along with that.
Whenever my girlfriend and I have a disagreement, we talk about it pretty quickly. We don't leave it to fester. And we call each other out when we do each other wrong and reach an understanding. That took YEARS of hard lessons to learn, but it truly does make things so much better. It fills you with a sense of inner peace and confidence in the solid foundation of your relationship.
Awesome video Dwayne👍👍👍I’d rather take a beaten then go to Hobby lobby with my wife but I’ve done it before and it wasn’t that bad😂😂😂
I really resonate with the comment about listening -- both ways. My husband can sometimes bottle things up. I won't push it if he's not ready to say, but I wouldn't be a good friend if I wasn't ready to listen. If I don't know, it can be harder to be there for him and understand him and his needs right now. In turn, I really appreciate when my husband listens to my troubles. He's my best friend. That's what friends do. It's particularly important that he not try to solve it, unless I ask for help brainstorming solutions. Firstly, because his assumption that I need a solution can undermine my own power. I'm also capable of solving many things that are frustrating. I don't need him to do it for me, but I do want him to stand with me. What I'm seeking is solidarity with my best friend in the acknowledgment that something just isn't right. Oftentimes, that's all. Lots of good thoughts here.
Dwayne . I’m a 34 year old Hispanic man . I was mostly rapping in my youth and still dabble from time to time . I played video games a lot in my youth but have slowed that down a tad bit 😂 . I have a family now and have been prioritizing them first a lot more. I just want to say thank you for these videos . We may come from different backgrounds but it’s amazing how your channel has helped me lately . Have a blessed one .