Bill Redirection Failure - One Tough Hour 🥹

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ย. 2024
  • People often criticize me for telling my Dad the truth about his brother Bill. This is what often happens when I try to redirect him. This is the reality if dementia. It’s not easy to watch much less live through.

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  • @pakistaniatheist2405
    @pakistaniatheist2405 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +459

    I hope Bill’s children watch these videos and see for themselves how much grandpa loved their dad.

    • @aqueenceereid4249
      @aqueenceereid4249 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

      I wondered the same thing. I hope they see it.

    • @tag2761
      @tag2761 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      That's a good point.

    • @RileyReidMeABook
      @RileyReidMeABook 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      He would be Bill's children's uncle, not grandfather. Bill is his brother.

    • @aqueenceereid4249
      @aqueenceereid4249 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      @@RileyReidMeABook lol folks on the internet refer to him as Grandpa. We all know that bill is his brother and he is the uncle of Bill's children.

    • @dsalnorcal1434
      @dsalnorcal1434  9 หลายเดือนก่อน +69

      They do.

  • @JasonHolody76
    @JasonHolody76 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1446

    The thing people have to understand is one case of dementia is not everyone elses case of dementia. So ignore comments and do what works for you and your case. My aunt has dementia and is completely different from your dad

    • @marypettyfer4640
      @marypettyfer4640 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +69

      Absolutely agree I was mummys carer for 12 years what works for some doesn't necessarily work for you.

    • @Vikinggirl1968
      @Vikinggirl1968 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +57

      That is so very true !!! I have looked after people with dementia and they are all unique !!!

    • @bettyboop4263
      @bettyboop4263 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

      Ed is so caring about his family.

    • @lovesallanimals9948
      @lovesallanimals9948 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Amen!! Rge somethings Do Not Work for everyone, That goes fir Everything!!!

    • @CookiesandCream485
      @CookiesandCream485 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

      I totally agree, my Mother passed away from Alzeheimers in 2013, we cared for my Mom for 8 years with this terrible disease, no 2 people deals with the same when it comes to Dementia and or Alzeheimers, keep doing what you and your family is doing, you are wonderful with your Father, God's speed ❤❤❤❤

  • @stephenmiller6389
    @stephenmiller6389 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +284

    I hope that Bill is waiting at the pearly gates for his brother 💙

    • @MariaGrijalvaSacramento
      @MariaGrijalvaSacramento 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      I think Dad is preparing to go see his brother, Bill. Maybe, The spiritual connection between the two is Reigniting because its time to go see his brother❤??

    • @MikeF93
      @MikeF93 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I would like what you have been taking, some good stuff?@@MariaGrijalvaSacramento

    • @geristracener5253
      @geristracener5253 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      ​@@MariaGrijalvaSacramentoomg I think your right. I don't want to see that happen 😢. What a kind man...
      BUT he needs a hug from all of YOU. JUST DO IT BEFORE IT TO LATER. U HEAR ME DAN ? Pop needs hugs NOW. WE ALL ARE HUGGING HIM NOW. JOIN US PLEASE. 😢😢😢😢

    • @lesleymaner2851
      @lesleymaner2851 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@MariaGrijalvaSacramentoI agree. Bill is probably communicating with him in some way, telling him it won’t be much longer. I had an elderly friend during the last six months of her life telling her family that invisible people were telling her to stay put and they would come get her soon. The last being a month before she died.

    • @mikegee4922
      @mikegee4922 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @geristracener5253: you sound like a lunatic.

  • @GraceDollesin
    @GraceDollesin 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +83

    I’m a Dementia worker. There is no right or wrong answer. Patience, understanding and compassion goes a long way. ❤❤❤ Aww! Grandpa Ed, I’m so sorry. My heart is breaking.

    • @geristracener5253
      @geristracener5253 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Dr Ed totally impresses me. How he has the body at nearly 92 is amazing. I never miss a conversation with him. Long live DR ED SALINGER. 👍🌻🌻🥰... HERE COMES A HUG 🤗 FROM MINNESOTA. GOD BLESS U. 🙃

  • @adeshe22
    @adeshe22 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +157

    I observed lying to him confused him more. Maybe subconsciously he knows that Bill is not on vacation. I also observed his sadness when being told the truth. My heart goes out to Dan and to Dad.

    • @natec9395
      @natec9395 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Agree

    • @7641955
      @7641955 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      If he knew he wouldn’t ask

    • @leelaynemaynard706
      @leelaynemaynard706 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's very possible.

    • @tickledsoul
      @tickledsoul 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Ah, I see what you're trying to say, but after watching every single video for theirs over the last few years, this is definitely not the case. It's important to also apply a healthy dose of common sense. These videos only capture small snippets of their 24-hour days, seven days a week.
      Nobody can give insight based off these videos, nobody! Dan is a lovely son and intellectual man, and has picked up on his father’s patterns of dementia! They are doing everything right! Everything is in the highest entrance of his father’s comfort.

    • @JudyAdams-c3x
      @JudyAdams-c3x 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I think you did right Dan telling him the truth. He couldn’t get his brother off his mind until you did. Except it is so sad. I love you all 8:35 !

  • @lauriecarollo2169
    @lauriecarollo2169 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +389

    Retired nurse here (experienced in hospice), I also had a mother in law who had vascular dementia. Dan, God bless you for your patience. After watching the videos of you telling your dad that Bill passed 15 years ago, it seems to really calm him down knowing he doesn’t have to worry about him anymore. Please continue to tell him the truth, because that’s what works for him. God bless you all. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

    • @cherylsimmons784
      @cherylsimmons784 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      I fully agree. Ed deals with the truth much better than telling him anything else. You and your wife do a very good patient job, taking care of your father ❤😊

    • @robertacarroll8481
      @robertacarroll8481 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      I agree with you 1000% my grandpa had dementia and it is tough trying to figure out what to do.

    • @kefilwemokonyama1827
      @kefilwemokonyama1827 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      😂almost the whole day I'm sorry about that Dan,God bless you.

    • @Sol-Cutta
      @Sol-Cutta 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      I agree every time..
      Not only that , if he's being lied to and a jolt of memory does come that removes all trust.. best to just say he died ,your 92 and.was at funeral etc.

    • @ssssss7816
      @ssssss7816 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

  • @ashtonalexander2431
    @ashtonalexander2431 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +247

    He's not dumb, he's just forgetful! If you don't tell him the truth, he's naturally gonna try and figure out how to get ahold of his brother he cares so much about! He's clearly a caretaker at heart and his dementia will send him in circles if given the chance. You're doing the right thing by telling him the truth Dan. Blessings to you and yours! Your an inspiration to so many!

    • @eliettecarvajal8898
      @eliettecarvajal8898 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Excellent comment!Completly rigth!

    • @johannagarcelon9240
      @johannagarcelon9240 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I agree that you should always tell your dad the Truth.

    • @x.y.7385
      @x.y.7385 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He's not forgetful. He has dementia. Short term memory no longer exists. Please educate yourself. This is a f*cking evil disease that causes continual brain damage.

    • @eckoellenstein4306
      @eckoellenstein4306 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      He seems to respond differently (better) when you tell him the truth as opposed to lying to him.
      What a blessing you are giving your dad by allowing him to age with grace and dignity. ❤

    • @anniec7449
      @anniec7449 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      WELL SAID!! THANK YOU!!

  • @femicesmacaraeg4812
    @femicesmacaraeg4812 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +171

    He always looks for Bill. He must be a very loving and caring older brother to him..❤😢

    • @iluvcruising
      @iluvcruising 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      My heart breaks for Mr. Ed when he goes through this. 😢

    • @chris77777777ify
      @chris77777777ify 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Thing is, Bill may be taking to him, Life is strange, I’ve met many people who claim to have seen ghosts etc.
      Which ever it may be, honestly with dementia people is integral & the loving thing to do. Care workers who are employed are told to simply lie & manipulate & it’s cruel,
      Just be honest, say your old, you forget things & that’s the way it is, your safe, we love you & we care for you now etc is the best way.

    • @bird7743
      @bird7743 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Sometimes just the " physical presence"...of someone is all you need...❤

    • @kenella74
      @kenella74 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      A lot of the time when they suffer with dementia they can remember things from their childhood a lot clearer than things they did 5 mins ago so they tend to ask for the people that was around at the time they remember the most which in his case seems to be when he was a child living at home with his brother, this is very common, a lot of people ask for their parents who could have died 20 years earlier❤❤

    • @len3169
      @len3169 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@chris77777777ifyno such thing as

  • @ReneeLowery-yc1nu
    @ReneeLowery-yc1nu 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +81

    Unbelievable!!! U took that time and experience to show people what’s real. Man U got my respect. U didn’t have to do that. You know what your dad needs. ❤❤

    • @cindymata1593
      @cindymata1593 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      So true, you don't need to prove to people that how your handle things works. You're doing a great job

  • @ginamaples3571
    @ginamaples3571 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    There is something in his soul that is wanting to protect his brother.. they are kindred spirits I'm sure his brother is watching from heaven... ❤❤❤

  • @theMpath77
    @theMpath77 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +330

    Dan has to do what’s best for both he and the Dr to get through every minute, every hour, every day. It’s easy to judge or criticize when its not us in the situation. He has to live it over and over. That’s mentally draining. Instead of criticizing, better to say “There but for the grace of God, go I.” Dan really is a patient, loving, caring son and Dr Salinger is very lucky to have such wonderful kids. He obviously raised then right!

    • @emster716
      @emster716 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      perfectly said!! thank you! :)

    • @kastnostones
      @kastnostones 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      When you record your parent in their time of crisis, it seems to be a financial benefit not concern. Grab the camera let's get paid!
      ❤ Pathetic criminal attorney, you are Dan!

    • @angiepangie4518
      @angiepangie4518 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      ​@kastnostones what a horrible thing to say 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

    • @nickyleboutillier8060
      @nickyleboutillier8060 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@kastnostonesYou’re a deadset idiot. Dan brings light to a disease most don’t often get to see in its fullness dealing with it. It also helps people connect who are dealing with it. There are some hard videos to watch but many are so gorgeous and light. They deserve an award for bravery not your mean spirited comment. You see the truth and the truth is this is a beautiful family dealing with a difficult circumstance but with grace and kindness unlike your comment. I 💯 agree that it’s okay to get the financial support this way by bringing awareness and also entertainment as many love Ed and his family. This enables them to continue to care for him at home where he is treated with utmost dignity. This is at heart the essence of what true love does. We should all be so lucky to be part of such a loving family in an hour of great need.

    • @darlene9145
      @darlene9145 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@kastnostonesand what kind of a person are you??
      You enjoy being vile and trying to drag someone down.
      If you have hate in your heart for someone why do you keep inserting yourself into their life? Move on. You're not doing yourself any favors by showing what a cruel person you are.
      You insult Dan but you're the one being nasty. Good luck with reaping what you sow

  • @MorningDove
    @MorningDove 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +349

    Dan, I want to apologize as I made comments about you telling your father that his brother died. Now I see that he handles the truth better than avoiding it. He had me worried for a m8nute as his anxiety grew stronger and stronger. I appreciate more than ever all your love and hard work in caring for your father 💗

    • @JourneywithCC23
      @JourneywithCC23 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +49

      That's why you should not try to tell people how to live their lives

    • @brandongriffin3218
      @brandongriffin3218 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      @@JourneywithCC23 exactly! It’s so messed up to let him know that his brother is alive all day. That sounds so awful because he will never see him

    • @JourneywithCC23
      @JourneywithCC23 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      @@brandongriffin3218 exactly. He handled the truth much better than the lies.

    • @MorningDove
      @MorningDove 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

      @JourneywithCC23 I wasn't telling anyone how to live their lives. I am not that way. I was giving a true experience at a seniors residence. Anyway, I'm glad to have watched this. We can all learn!!

    • @jenw.1412
      @jenw.1412 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

      I think we all want to be able to help when we see someone dealing with situations like this in life. There is a huge difference in "telling people what to do or how to live their life" vs. giving someone advice or letting them know what worked for you. With my father, I have had a lot of people give me advice on how to handle his dementia. Some of the advice has been amazing and worked for us, while some of the advice didn't. By no means does that mean people have "told me how to live my life." Don't let others who don't know the difference bother you. I've been extremely grateful for some of the advice I've been giving along our journey. I don't think Dan made this video to try and make people feel bad for trying to be helpful, and I'm sure Dan is also grateful for some of the advice he's been given about others situations with his dad.

  • @gwmgbwi
    @gwmgbwi 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +183

    How pleased Bill must be to know how much his brother cares and loves him.

    • @ResinEssenceByCheri
      @ResinEssenceByCheri 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      You mean from heaven?

    • @Michelle-cz1vj
      @Michelle-cz1vj 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Yes from heaven

    • @v1sudo
      @v1sudo 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Bill is dead so he doesn't feel anything anymore. When someone does they are no longer sentient

    • @larzteedee
      @larzteedee 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Yes, from heaven ❤ 😇

    • @carollang6090
      @carollang6090 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Well, they're talking to one another... They'll meet again.

  • @joanncrawford8563
    @joanncrawford8563 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    It breaks my heart, but you are patiently showing us the bitter truth of dementia.

  • @yanniegrannie
    @yanniegrannie 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +41

    I remember the last years caring for my 94 year old dad who also spent much of his time worrying about people who passed. You know your dad, you and your dad have your own relationship your own language and your love and respect for him is clear. You're doing an amazing job be proud. 😊

  • @Irene-my3sb
    @Irene-my3sb 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +160

    Your father seems to have cared for everyone’s well being! He is a very caring person!😊

  • @laurieeierman5556
    @laurieeierman5556 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +234

    I’m an RN worked in LTCF for years and my dad had dementia . You can redirect but never lie like some are saying . What you are doing is exactly what you should be doing . So know you are doing what should be done 💕

    • @dsalnorcal1434
      @dsalnorcal1434  9 หลายเดือนก่อน +74

      ❤️ thanks for the reassuring words. Thanks for doing what you do everyday. I always say teachers and nurses are the backbone of society.

    • @norwegianvikinggranny1004
      @norwegianvikinggranny1004 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      Agree, redirect but no lies. Hugs from RN in Norway 🇸🇯

    • @tinalouise4327
      @tinalouise4327 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      Exactly! I’m an RN of 40 yrs. Never lie. Dr Ed must trust you

    • @berniceherrera5003
      @berniceherrera5003 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      DAN DID YOU NOTICE WHEN YOU TOLD HIM THE TRUTH HE SAID O OK.BUT WHEN YOU TOLD HIM A LIE HE WAS SADER.CAUSE HE WAS STILL LOOKING FOR HIM.THAT NOT GOOD HE EVEN HURTS MORE.CAUSE HE IS STILL LOOKING. NO THE TRURT WILL SET YOU FREE.IN THE BIBLE
      LOVE YOU ED AND JESUS LOVES YOU MR.ED GOD BLESS YOU.😢.

    • @tinalouise4327
      @tinalouise4327 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      @@berniceherrera5003 lol, I think that is the point that Dan made in the video. he wanted us to see for ourselves the different reactions and what actually worked the best.

  • @JasonHolody76
    @JasonHolody76 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +93

    What a glorious reunion they will eventually have.

    • @oceaneo4603
      @oceaneo4603 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      They must have an amazing bond. Bill must be very closed to him. 💘

    • @Tennesseekid08
      @Tennesseekid08 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Amen

  • @PurebloodStalker
    @PurebloodStalker 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +59

    This is so sad. You are a diamond of a son, Dan. Happy New Year, from, Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇺🇸

  • @Rjlae
    @Rjlae 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +356

    He really seems to calm down faster when you yell him the truth.

    • @michelerodgers1147
      @michelerodgers1147 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Absolutely. Always! Straight, honestly. It eliminates 1/2 of these conversations. Been thru it with 3 of our parents. Whose lived with us.

    • @kateyoung2913
      @kateyoung2913 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I was thinking the same

    • @dandipp
      @dandipp 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Agreed

    • @JC-vz9hz
      @JC-vz9hz 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I just posted the same.

    • @bojan1999
      @bojan1999 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      That's because deep down he knows he's gone. That's why he keeps asking because he knows he's lying to him.

  • @wandasuttle3772
    @wandasuttle3772 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +166

    Dan , you have to handle that situation the best way for you. Some people haven’t walked in your shoes. I’ve been in your shoes and it’s hard work. 😢

    • @marynixon9362
      @marynixon9362 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I took care of my husband with dementia and yes, there is all forms of dementia, but I never lied to him even if it was gonna calm him down I choose not to lie God says no liar would enter the kingdom of heaven I don’t wanna lie to anybody I don’t want to be called a liar and not enter the kingdom of heaven when I die

    • @jojomiller1630
      @jojomiller1630 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I would help him search….and allow him to eventually tell you what happened and where his brother may be.

    • @HF1.0
      @HF1.0 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@marynixon9362🙄🙄🙄

    • @HF1.0
      @HF1.0 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@marynixon9362sounds selfish.

    • @Terry9921
      @Terry9921 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Always so gracious.

  • @ghostpepper7350
    @ghostpepper7350 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +91

    One thing is certain he truly loved his brother. U can tell he felt responsible for him. He must of always took good care of him. Your dad is an incredibly caring and loving man.

  • @MarvaBabb-px8jy
    @MarvaBabb-px8jy 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Tell your dad the truth about his brother. Be honest with him . Your dad is a very intelligent man. He will understand, he will get the sense of it .

  • @annholland5006
    @annholland5006 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Oh my heart goes out to our pops. Sending all the love in the world 💙💙Big hugs xx

  • @mariekauhi9034
    @mariekauhi9034 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +79

    Dan, once you told him the truth, his distress slowly declined. He trusts you, and he may not remember for himself, deep inside he knows you won't lie to him. You and your family are wonderful people. Much love sent for a Happy New Year ❤️

  • @brendaturner5015
    @brendaturner5015 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +350

    I think you're doing great telling him what you think is right.

    • @jovellabrown807
      @jovellabrown807 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Don’t listen to others if it’s negative you’re all doing good your best

    • @stevencoughran6115
      @stevencoughran6115 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Well,I never lied to my father,it's just the way !, I was raised ,and yes sone of us has been threw it my father passed at 95 yrs old best father in the World ,but I never lied to him, just think if he knows in his head you lie ,? What's he going to think then

    • @NuraCaicedo-xh2ok
      @NuraCaicedo-xh2ok 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ❤💯

  • @walkingdeadbarbiedoll
    @walkingdeadbarbiedoll 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +105

    This was the hardest video to watch of any you've released about grandpa. It hurt to my core to sit back and watch, but it got your point across perfectly about why you do what you do and say what you say. Nobody knows your father better than his own seed, and we are so proud he has a son like you in his life. He really loved Bill. Its sad because when people die, all we have is our memories of them. So what if our memory gets hijacked. This is what your dad is living and what my grandparents lived through before they passed. I think its why i and so many others across the world feel so close with your dad. For many of us hes like our very own grandpa. Thank you for sharing your family with us, and happy holidays and much love to Dan and of course to grandpa Ed. ❤

    • @ssssss7816
      @ssssss7816 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Well said!

    • @yvonnemford6169
      @yvonnemford6169 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      My mom died of this dreadful disease 3 years ago this month. I simply adore how you treat your dad ❤.
      God bless you all. all.

  • @hrmfocused5106
    @hrmfocused5106 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Thank you for sharing your dad with us all and you compassionately care for him. I watch you guys a lot. You two together warm my heart, you make smile, laugh, and times cry. My heart hurts for your dad searching for his brother. I was so relieved when you told him the truth, and to hear him thank you for doing so. You along with your dad are just wonderful human beings.

  • @lynnbeowolf6106
    @lynnbeowolf6106 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    Dan, you’re doing fine! I’m a retired dementia nurse, and it’s hard when dementia patients get on a “loop”, it can sometimes go on for days! You can’t always deflect. You’re doing fine! My mum was the same!❤

  • @carladavis1473
    @carladavis1473 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +66

    Dan, your know what's best for your father. He's YOUR father and your clearly love him. Just because something works well for someone else doesn't mean it will work for him. You are living this and your do what you know to be best for your gather and your family. Ignore the critics. You're doing a great job.

  • @chaconelizabeth53
    @chaconelizabeth53 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +71

    Wow that was rough! People need to understand that you can’t deal with everyone the same way! Every person with dementia is different! I know people want to give advice, but it’s what worked for them! You guys are doing a great job for Ed! ❤

    • @francene01
      @francene01 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      You are 100 percent correct, and I agree with you! This is difficult for Dan and his family as is.

  • @mariadla7
    @mariadla7 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

    Dan, my mother is the same age as your dad. She is very forgetful but not as advanced as your father. It’s very tiring to have to remind them of so many things. I Can see what you have to go through. Sometimes I wonder if he and Bill have regular visits. You never know. I wish you all the best. You’re an amazing son. The good doctor raised you right.

  • @born2biscuit
    @born2biscuit 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    he seems more accepting when you tell him hes passed and its so great how much he loves his brother

    • @russpayne3730
      @russpayne3730 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Reap blessings from taking care of a parent

  • @sarahenglerstone2814
    @sarahenglerstone2814 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    It’s so beautiful how Bill is always on his mind. He’s always wanting to speak to and care for his younger sibling. It’s really incredible, sibling love stands the test of time!!!

  • @analogalien651
    @analogalien651 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    Right before the video ends he’s saying “ thank you Dan.”
    He is so kind and caring ..it’s , just amazing! ❤️

  • @leedee9493
    @leedee9493 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

    This was heartbreaking. He loves and misses his brother. Can you imagine what is going through his head. 😔

  • @cdmc965
    @cdmc965 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +50

    Dan,I am sorry that Ed and you have to go through this. It's heartbreaking

    • @hallieadams4225
      @hallieadams4225 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It's also heart warming. What a wonderful son he is blessed with.
      I wouldn't lie to him either. My mother went through this too, but that doesn't make me an expert.

  • @chelsreellife786
    @chelsreellife786 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Wow. That was so difficult to watch at the end. I almost teared up. I can't imagine having to relive that someone has passed and is no longer in your life, especially when you thought you just literally talk to them an hour ago. I absolutely love your dad, Dan and Danielle. He's so sweet. ❤

    • @1gbayfisher
      @1gbayfisher 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Tough one, right? Crazy

  • @angelawilson2472
    @angelawilson2472 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    You handled that so well. What a wonderful caring dad you have. You're racking up blessings every hour for being a good and patient son. 💕

  • @angelaheras5466
    @angelaheras5466 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

    "The truth will set you free". Dan you are correct telling him like it is. You have always being respectful and loving towards grandpa Ed. You are a son that every parent would love to have.❤

  • @pbj0815
    @pbj0815 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +45

    He is under your care and he is your father. The internet can be educated but they are not there and don’t know Ed personally. Just knowing that he sees Danielle as a motherly figure lets you know he feels safe and cared for which is huge.

  • @tiheshakp
    @tiheshakp 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +37

    Dan, you and your wife are doing a PHENOMENAL job with Grandpa. I pray for you all everyday. I can only imagine the daily struggles, so I wouldn't dare tell you how to handle these situations. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your lives, even on the bad days.

  • @elizabethpagan779
    @elizabethpagan779 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Your dad is a kind gentleman, who always care about others! God bless him

  • @darciereed9595
    @darciereed9595 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Dan, you know what works for Grandpa. Keep doing what you know works for your Dad. ❤

  • @jerrypass8888
    @jerrypass8888 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    No one knows how hard it is to deal with a dementia patient until they go through the same thing. I think you’re doing a great job.

  • @judywiggins5092
    @judywiggins5092 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +37

    You do YOU, Dan. You know your dad better than anyone. THANKS for the video trying to explain things. No explaining is needed. You are right in everything you tell dad.

  • @natalieedwards_0415
    @natalieedwards_0415 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

    It's always so hard to get them on another subject. You just have to tell them the truth sometimes.😢 You do an AMAZING job Dan with your Dad. Much Love you and your family 💞

    • @judywright4241
      @judywright4241 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I’ve had friends with dementia patient family members, one kept saying the truth and the other one pretended the reality he was in was happening. Because he had been a boxer, that situation got violent. No advice works because each person is different, so coping has to be individualized too.

    • @gaylahall2880
      @gaylahall2880 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@judywright4241, I totally agree with you, it seems it’s a day by day thing and caretakers have to do what’s best at the moment. Mr. Ed will probably as about his brother again tomorrow or sometime soon. My mother asked about some of the family members who had passed away before her within the last 7 years. Her husband, her son and her granddaughter (my daughter). When she asked, she would ask if they had passed away. And, then she would get a sad look on her face and shake her head and say, Lord have mercy. 😢 A few times she would ask me, what happened to her, or him, after I tell her she would sadly say, I thought he or she has passed away. I believe that perhaps she and other elderly people with dementia have dreams about their loved ones that died before them, right along with missing them as well.

  • @whoknows6493
    @whoknows6493 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    The way he always says thank you. True inspiration here. I'm going through the same thing with my 81yo grandmother whom i take care of everyday. Since her dementia progressed, it's getting harder and harder

  • @bean269
    @bean269 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    You are SO PATIENT" like a parent to a child no disrespect intended, damn memory loss it's so disruptive to the entire family ❤ God Bless you and your family especially Pop 🙏🏻

  • @MindyJuz
    @MindyJuz 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    The end of this video is so heartbreaking, its crazy how the mind works. You guys do such a great job with Ed ❤

  • @lovedaybebe5881
    @lovedaybebe5881 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    Every time you have filmed , telling him the truth , about your uncle , his reaction is very pragmatic and practical. Your father being a doctor , will likely be very practical and stoic . I think that he’s so much calmer , when you tell him the truth. So basically you know your father better than anyone else 🙏 and you know exactly what is best for him 👌

  • @MikeRay1978
    @MikeRay1978 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +45

    You’re a saint and I can only hope I live a long life and my children will take care of me like you do. Bless your family Dan.

  • @vjohnsonbarrett
    @vjohnsonbarrett 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Whew, this one got me. I've never cried watching any of your videos until this one. It's so hard on him, and on you, I know. I'm glad you've figured out what communication works best with your dad when he's stuck on something. Hoping all the best for you and your family.

  • @lindiwemaboa8805
    @lindiwemaboa8805 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    My Mother dementia too, sge passed at 81, and she stayed with me. She would look for her dad, like dad did. My heart! As you say it's life!

  • @wolverineballer3376
    @wolverineballer3376 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    The Thank You and pardon me always gets me. He’s such a polite person in spite of his condition. He’s so blessed to have wonderful children.

  • @lynnelliott9038
    @lynnelliott9038 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    Oh Dan, this must be exhausting for you and for Grandpa. How beautifully you hold grace for him and gentleness... Prayers always for you and the family as you live out these precious years with your dad. 🙏🏽

  • @p.siadoreyou9050
    @p.siadoreyou9050 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

    Only you know what to do with your family and your life. Good luck ❤

  • @mgmk1093
    @mgmk1093 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    This is so tough. You are doing such an amazing job. My grandmother never progressed this far but even the beginning stages are still with me. God bless you.

  • @josephsantos5491
    @josephsantos5491 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    What a caring man. Even confused still loving.

  • @viewer777100
    @viewer777100 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    All I can go with is what I see. I see when you try to redirect him he is anxious and unsatisfied and trying to find a feeling of completion. When you tell him the truth things aren't perfect, but there's a feeling of resolution and understanding that allows you to move on. Not every situation fits into a box and I think you have found the best way to handle yours. You never loose patience, and tell him the first time ever time. You're a good son Dan.

  • @_S.R._
    @_S.R._ 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +65

    Dan, how about gathering some pictures of Bill, and some of the personal things you might still have that used to belong to him. Then you arrange a little memorial site at a special place in your house. You could also make a poster copy of Bill's obituary and place it together at this "Memorial Site". So every time Grandpa asks about Bill you can remind him to go to there. This way Grandpa can "be" with Bill whenever he misses him.

    • @CatalinaFOIA
      @CatalinaFOIA 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      I actually like this idea. ❤

    • @zitiden4745
      @zitiden4745 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      Me too. I love this.🙏

    • @quasimonica
      @quasimonica 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      What a nice idea! And it would be interesting to see the results. I hope Dan or Danielle will get to see your advice.

    • @kathycavitt3089
      @kathycavitt3089 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      I Agree With You!!

    • @kathysenn7664
      @kathysenn7664 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      i agree..what a beautiful idea. along the same vein, a pillow with uncle Bill's picture on it might be calming and comforting. Love abounds in their home, and is being spread far and wide through them sharing Dr Ed and their experiences. Im grateful.

  • @Moose74491
    @Moose74491 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    I could tell you felt so bad lying to him, Dan but good that you proved it doesn’t work with him. Bless his heart. I had tears in my eyes watching him search and search and wearing himself out and then the look of sheer grief when he understood what you were telling him at the end. You are doing amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Love your family. Praying for God to give you patience and peace.

  • @shelwhitfield1905
    @shelwhitfield1905 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Dan, I appreciate how well you take care of your dad. I thank you for your patience. I can’t imagine how hard this is. Just know that we know how important the work you do is. My family loves you, Pop, Danielle, and all of your loved ones. Stay strong my friend. Happy New Year!

  • @Lifeworthliving425
    @Lifeworthliving425 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    Dan there’s no advice for you, you are amazing, and the way you care for and love your father is amazing!!

  • @debby891
    @debby891 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

    So glad you addressed this Dan. I’m often told “just redirect her” when caring for mom. To those that don’t do this 24/7, please know we do try this a lot, sometimes it works and most times it doesn’t so we have to do what works at the time to keep them safe and less agitated. What works for some, doesn’t work for others and even that can change on a dime. Thank you Dan for trying to explain what it’s like from the caregivers perspective. You and your family are as amazing as your dad is❤

    • @dsalnorcal1434
      @dsalnorcal1434  9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I wish you the best with mom

  • @SrikanthPRABHA7
    @SrikanthPRABHA7 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    You have so much Patience Dan ❤😢. We just watch a very tiny moments of Grandpa’s life but you live and manage his memory loss all day. 🙏🏻. I have learnt something very important today. I will ensure my siblings know how much I love them henceforth.

  • @marywallace6383
    @marywallace6383 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    That was tough to watch. Your patience is phenomenal . Thank you for showing what it is like to go through day to day with your Dad's dementia. Terrific of you and Mark the way you
    love him and keep him safe.

  • @Nanab1975
    @Nanab1975 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    My mother told anyone that would listen that we had kidnapped her and she had lived in her home over 30 years. She had dementia. She couldn't walk in the end and she would try and get up and take off one time she broke her shoulder trying to get up. I think you're doing an amazing job caring for your dad. You all have helped me so much since I lost my mom. Ty for sharing

  • @MichelleRothermund
    @MichelleRothermund 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The fragility and confusion dementia imposes ravaging a once productive, revered, professional gentleman takes immeasurable patience, understanding, and empathy. Family caregivers are never prepared for tending to the needs of a loved one or friend whom they once embraced with an altered identity. Danielle and Dan, you are a treasured and invaluable gift to Dr. Ed. ❤

  • @jennifermanian1420
    @jennifermanian1420 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    He seems calmer when you tell him the truth. Its so hard. We are going through this with my dad. He is 94.

  • @nancywindbigler6434
    @nancywindbigler6434 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    This was a heartbreaker! You are quite a guy for being so patient with dad!

  • @QueenBee81975
    @QueenBee81975 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    It was so sad to watch him going crazy looking for his brother. I love that you always give him the truth. Truth sets us free!!

  • @lutzgebel5431
    @lutzgebel5431 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Hello from Germany.... I think it's great that you took your father to take care of him, great how lovingly and patiently you answer all his recurring questions to make him a pleasant retirement, I find many of your conversations very entertaining, I find that you do everything right with your nice father.... I will continue to follow your vids and wish your whole family a happy new year and above all health.... Give your father a hug from me.....

  • @TravelsTTG
    @TravelsTTG 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It’s so beautiful sweet and heartbreaking all in the same time.

  • @cindylou2536
    @cindylou2536 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    While it’s so heartbreaking to watch Grandpa Ed mourn over and over again, he seems to settle down easier when he hears the truth. Dan … you and your family are doing a wonderful job looking after your Dad and keeping him safe. God bless you and your family. ❤

  • @CubGrylls
    @CubGrylls 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    You and the fam do a great job caring for your dad. I've supported ppl with dementia, always tell the truth no matter how hard.

  • @RhandaRidlon
    @RhandaRidlon 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    My mom asked where her dad was. Where he ex husband was. Her mom. All were dead, many years. I always told her the truth, which always made her sad. Then she'd say that she thought so. You can't do more than you're doing for him. Patience is everything

  • @aiden803
    @aiden803 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I tell my mom the truth...she's also got dementia...I understand the endless same questions over and over... sometimes for hours. Very hard. It's hard to see our parents this way. Makes me so sad.

  • @keshiamccray2173
    @keshiamccray2173 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Awww big hugs to you and your dad! You know your dad and know what is best for him in the moment ❤

  • @tkshade80
    @tkshade80 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Dan as 1 of many of the viewers who admire and commend your efforts I just have to say you do an amazing job with Grandpa, hes one of the sweetest souls Ive ever seen and he needs the support your family offers. Prayers and Love to you all❤

  • @bhumphries1360
    @bhumphries1360 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    Your father is in search of the truth in this video. Dan, I think that you handle your father's situation in the best way that works for you all. You know your father better than anybody here online. I think that you and your family do an awesome job caring for your father! This is coming from somebody who worked in long-term care for many, many years. I also currently care for my mother, who has dementia as well.
    Dan, do you by chance have a funeral announcement from Uncle Bill's funeral? You could possibly show it to him when he gets himself so upset looking for him. I, of course, am only making a suggestion. Dan, I think you should always do what you know works best.

  • @enjohgrace3331
    @enjohgrace3331 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    He got a heart of gold, worried about his brother hoping if he is fine.

  • @mapitsorangaka1030
    @mapitsorangaka1030 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love to hear how you handle your dad's condition and that calms him, I'm learning a lot from the interaction, Imagine IF you have to invent truths for every question, that would be exhausting, different truths from family members, I salute you Dan and Danielle ❤️

  • @protegesacademy
    @protegesacademy 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Grandpa is not lucky to be 91 years old. He is just blessed. We love him. Watching from Ghana, Africa.

  • @suefield5044
    @suefield5044 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Can't even imagine going through this so many times. Strength to you Dan

  • @stephaniehowes849
    @stephaniehowes849 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    😢 Poor sweet man..that just is heartbreaking to watch & I'm sure as heartbreaking to talk to him about. Hang in there ..may peace find you all.

  • @dandm20
    @dandm20 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Dan you're doing a great job. You are a wonderful son to your loving dad. You do what's best for dad and your family.

  • @annkelly8447
    @annkelly8447 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Bless you for your understanding and support and patience with your Dad.

  • @tinahernandez1367
    @tinahernandez1367 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Well said Dan. I do agree how you address when he’s looking for bill the truth every time .

  • @rozener
    @rozener 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    This makes me so sad 😢to see grandpa in such confusion.i really enjoy alllll of yall videos.DAN YOU ARE AN AMAZING SON😊

  • @glassslippergourmet
    @glassslippergourmet 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    Grandpa seemed more at ease, even if clearly saddened, with the truth. Have you tried having a photo album with pictures of Grandpa and Bill over their life together? Maybe just seeing his face, seeing themselves together and happy would give him a moment of comfort.

    • @Mmm1884
      @Mmm1884 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Great idea! I think that would be so nice.

  • @michellehart228
    @michellehart228 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    My MIL had dementia and was always asking for her daughter who had passed away 31 years prior. We told her the first time she passed away and didn't receive that news well at all. We decided we would redirect her and tell her she was on vacation, out shopping whatever it was. She seemed to accept the reasons why. Soon she'd quit asking, thank god. For your Dad it seems best for him to know and he moves on from it. Watching him continue to ask over and over is heartbreaking. Your family takes great care of him and YOU and only YOU know what's best for him. Pay no attention to what others think, it's none of their (bleeping) business.

  • @upnorthvlogs
    @upnorthvlogs 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    My grandma had tough dementia just before she passed I know how tough it is. I’m a person who hates repetition but you’re doing your best.

  • @sean9920
    @sean9920 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love how appreciative your father is when you help him understand what’s going on at the end. He really is lucky to have kids and grandkids that love him and help him instead of sticking him in a home.

  • @pamelajackson-hq2ht
    @pamelajackson-hq2ht 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    My heart goes out to you and your family. I'm in medical and health care field since 1982 and still active with people that have dementia and alhamzer and throughout the years I seen people come and go.

  • @blondieinny2010
    @blondieinny2010 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    It's so heartbreaking. You all are amazing in the care you all give him.

  • @Sara-jy3pw
    @Sara-jy3pw 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    I cannot imagine the struggles both you and pop go through daily. Thank you for being such a good son and sticking by him just like he did for you when you were small and needed him. Sending so much love

  • @dawnbaker7861
    @dawnbaker7861 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    As a daughter and sister of 3 alzheimers patients, mom (deceased), brother (deceased) and a brother fighting, it's always best to be straight up honest.

  • @kristabelle43
    @kristabelle43 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This one was extremely upsetting to watch. I can’t imagine how difficult this was for you. It’s absolutely heartbreaking 💔

  • @rocktomusic96
    @rocktomusic96 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    You do what's best for you and your family every situation is different. Telling Grandpa Ed the truth is what's best.