Thank you for this video! My therapist speaks with me a lot regarding this topic. Your video helped to cause this to happen”take root”. I’m looking forward to your video regarding “should haves”. That’s my “biggie”. Blessing to you and this community!!
Very helpful video, thank you! It made me realize that it's a very child-like thing to assume everyone else shares MY system of beliefs and rules, so I can make an inference from their actions back to their thoughts and motivations. Isn't it wonderful that every person has their very own, unique way of seeing the world? I try to be forgiving with myself though, because it was a very dysfunctional family which drilled this habit of mind-reading into my brain. Also would like to share a technique I use every time I catch myself doing the mind reading thing. I start to fantasize about a different explanation or story to explain a person's behavior, one which is more friendly. For example, the service person wasn't hostile towards me, personally, but they were insecure because they didn't know the correct answer to my question. After having found this "explanation" I noticed I can let go of the topic. This might be helpful for situations where you can't or didn't ask a person for clarification, or if it doesn't involve important people or decisions.
Actually this helps me to reconcile the election. Going to the simple fact that other people have different frameworks and different ways of of processing information gives me the opportunity to examine my illusions that we all should be thinking the same way because we all belong to a certain country and for me I interpret that as being a certain kind of citizen. Initially the shock that some people could think a different way and behave in ways that I find incredulous come down to this framework you are talking about. It has been a lesson in reality for me.
While I appreciate and learned a lot from this video, the examples you kindly shared with us assume the mind-reader was wrong. What happens when he/she is right? Take for example, the boss who was acting weird behind the back of your client. What if his mind reading was effectively reflecting that he was just about to get fired? What do you do in those scenarios? Thanks Barbara. You help so many with your content.
Hi Barbara, I'm new to your channel. I suffer from extreme anxiety. I am now currently in therapy which helps while I'm there. As soon as I leave it comes flooding back. I have been planning a trip to Asia and have thrown myself into a higher anxiety about flying. I have had panic attacks and even thou haven't for around 4 years, I fear one happening in flight. I didn't see any fear of flying videos. Any suggestions?
Hi: So sorry to hear you are suffering so much. While I don't have a video on fear of flying, I have three videos on Panic attacks - and I think they will be helpful. Learning diaphragmatic breathing (and making sure you are not "chest breathing" is super important - slow exhales, not fast, - ... There are specialized programs for fear of flying as well. EMDR therapy can also be very helpful for this. And how exciting - a trip to Asia! Keeping a focus on your goal is important too. I hope this is helpful and wish you the best: -th-cam.com/video/iaCzbxcyFOo/w-d-xo.htmlsi=wuCt6BCQTFmXzGJ0 th-cam.com/video/S60oKekQe0I/w-d-xo.htmlsi=qzerjs3soOLhyhek th-cam.com/video/kJ_ptRwHEMg/w-d-xo.htmlsi=kV7CGLc5PdWbFk4B
@@BarbaraHeffernan I have an issue in my tennis club where I feel people are speaking negatively about me behind my back and I don’t feel comfortable there because I’m constantly wondering what people are saying about me , should I leave because it’s upsetting my mental health!?
Why are you trying to justify this behavior. There's a simple solution, use moral philosophy as a filter before you make these judgments of "mind reading". This should be called out accordingly for what it is. And not looked at as an excuse
As I understand it, mind reading is ultimately a defense mechanism for low esteem conflict avoidance, and generally comes about from emotional abuse. If you criticize someone who does it, you're really just reinforcing the emotional trauma and can be very damaging. If you affirm its existence and provide behavioral changes to make when they recognize they're doing it, that's the CBT approach.
Thanks Barbara, as always, you're absolutely spot on. Very helpful and informative.❤
You are so welcome, Graham! Hope you are well!
omg! I have done this from childhood and I continue to even to! I even take pride in this self proclaimed ability!
Thank you , Barbara!❤❤
Thank you for this video! My therapist speaks with me a lot regarding this topic. Your video helped to cause this to happen”take root”. I’m looking forward to your video regarding “should haves”. That’s my “biggie”.
Blessing to you and this community!!
I felt as though you were speaking directly to me. Major mind reader here. 😊
Was I reading your mind? 😂 JK - I do hope this helps!
That's totally me in a nutshell! Looks like I have a lot of work to do! Thank you for your great video & invaluable advice Barbara 🤩
Thank you thank you thank you ❤
Very helpful video, thank you! It made me realize that it's a very child-like thing to assume everyone else shares MY system of beliefs and rules, so I can make an inference from their actions back to their thoughts and motivations. Isn't it wonderful that every person has their very own, unique way of seeing the world?
I try to be forgiving with myself though, because it was a very dysfunctional family which drilled this habit of mind-reading into my brain.
Also would like to share a technique I use every time I catch myself doing the mind reading thing. I start to fantasize about a different explanation or story to explain a person's behavior, one which is more friendly. For example, the service person wasn't hostile towards me, personally, but they were insecure because they didn't know the correct answer to my question. After having found this "explanation" I noticed I can let go of the topic.
This might be helpful for situations where you can't or didn't ask a person for clarification, or if it doesn't involve important people or decisions.
Very helpful and insightful video. Thank you very much 😊
You're very welcome! Thank you for taking the time to let me know it was helpful!
Need of the hour
Thank you 👍👍
You are welcome! I hope it is helpful!
Thank you!!!
You're welcome!
I am so guilty of mind reading. I am learning from u that not everyone thinks like me.
Actually this helps me to reconcile the election. Going to the simple fact that other people have different frameworks and different ways of of processing information gives me the opportunity to examine my illusions that we all should be thinking the same way because we all belong to a certain country and for me I interpret that as being a certain kind of citizen. Initially the shock that some people could think a different way and behave in ways that I find incredulous come down to this framework you are talking about. It has been a lesson in reality for me.
I feel the same way but from the viewpoint of someone who voted Trump/Vance.
While I appreciate and learned a lot from this video, the examples you kindly shared with us assume the mind-reader was wrong. What happens when he/she is right? Take for example, the boss who was acting weird behind the back of your client. What if his mind reading was effectively reflecting that he was just about to get fired? What do you do in those scenarios?
Thanks Barbara. You help so many with your content.
Yes my narc abuse has turned into a true crime….
Do you have any videos on obsessive thoughts? I wasn’t able to find one
Hi Barbara, I'm new to your channel. I suffer from extreme anxiety. I am now currently in therapy which helps while I'm there. As soon as I leave it comes flooding back. I have been planning a trip to Asia and have thrown myself into a higher anxiety about flying. I have had panic attacks and even thou haven't for around 4 years, I fear one happening in flight. I didn't see any fear of flying videos. Any suggestions?
Hi: So sorry to hear you are suffering so much. While I don't have a video on fear of flying, I have three videos on Panic attacks - and I think they will be helpful. Learning diaphragmatic breathing (and making sure you are not "chest breathing" is super important - slow exhales, not fast, - ...
There are specialized programs for fear of flying as well. EMDR therapy can also be very helpful for this.
And how exciting - a trip to Asia! Keeping a focus on your goal is important too. I hope this is helpful and wish you the best:
-th-cam.com/video/iaCzbxcyFOo/w-d-xo.htmlsi=wuCt6BCQTFmXzGJ0
th-cam.com/video/S60oKekQe0I/w-d-xo.htmlsi=qzerjs3soOLhyhek
th-cam.com/video/kJ_ptRwHEMg/w-d-xo.htmlsi=kV7CGLc5PdWbFk4B
Thank you. Meditation helps. Your channel is very helpful to all of us who have mental disabilities.
🙏💜🧡💙
I do mind reading all the time it gets me very upset
Yes, we can put ourselves on emotional rollercoasters that aren't helpful very easily! I hope this helps!
@@BarbaraHeffernan I have an issue in my tennis club where I feel people are speaking negatively about me behind my back and I don’t feel comfortable there because I’m constantly wondering what people are saying about me , should I leave because it’s upsetting my mental health!?
Why are you trying to justify this behavior. There's a simple solution, use moral philosophy as a filter before you make these judgments of "mind reading". This should be called out accordingly for what it is. And not looked at as an excuse
As I understand it, mind reading is ultimately a defense mechanism for low esteem conflict avoidance, and generally comes about from emotional abuse. If you criticize someone who does it, you're really just reinforcing the emotional trauma and can be very damaging. If you affirm its existence and provide behavioral changes to make when they recognize they're doing it, that's the CBT approach.