In my sick family hugging and kissing were common, they all carried the Judas DNA. Kiss and betray. I now hate being hugged or kissed, it's triggering.
@@n.n9035 Currently psychotherapy, EMDR therapy, processing my emotions by dealing with them and not running around from them, spiritual practices…. I'd like to start working out, singing again, studying for my near future career, etc! All of those are methods of healing for me.
@@n.n9035 Currently, I've been healing myself through psychotherapy, creating healthy boundaries, EMDR therapy, processing my emotions by sitting in them allowing them to pass and not suppressing them or running away from them, & spiritual practices. However, I’d like to start working out more, start back singing again, and study for my near future career.
@@n.n9035 Currently, I've been healing using Psychotherapy, and EMDR therapy, processing my emotions by sitting in them and letting them pass instead of suppressing them or running away from them, and creating healthy boundaries and spiritual practices.
My two sons are the only ones who can enter my boundaries and give me a bear hug. In thier space I'm safe - everyone else please back off and let me love you from a distance. It is what it is 😔
This is so true. I completely avoid touching people in any way, it's so disturbing to me when people get too close. I get annoyed when people insist on touching me, I don't even like shaking hands with anyone, especially with males. Sexual trauma is a big thing.
My ex husband was a self entitled narcissistic ticking time bomb. He was unpredictable and demanding. He would be cruel toward me and my children, then when we were in bed, he would slide his hand over me, and I would have a reaction that made me feel sick. Sometimes he'd kick me out of the bed. 12 years on, the on thing I miss is just companionship. Just being held without expectation.
Hi from the UK. I've just found your channel and haven't listened to all of this particular show as yet. I've just completed 2yrs of trauma therapy and I can now see why, when some of my work colleagues hug me, sometimes I freeze others I'm OK. My late hubby was the only man I've ever made love with and it was beautiful every time. I miss him so much and I'm not sure if I'm ever going to get this kind of love again. Thank you
Pets are comforting. When younger, I used to be an equestrian and never realized how regulating horses were. There is an extreme amount of touch, whether it be grooming, petting/praising or even riding. You're in contact with the horse all the time you're riding. It's a relationship that must be built - no other relationship with an animal (other than an exotic perhaps) where you can easily be killed by this large creature, and yet you must trust each other. It's a healing quality, to know your horse trusts you as much as you trust it. I see there is equine therapy now, I don't know what it entails. I've also seen some prisons in the US who utilize horses and many of the prisoners state that is the first time they've ever trusted anyone or anything. It's more of a program to "socialize" captured mustangs with humans, and I believe they are eventually sold. I watched a documentary a few years about it and it changed many lives. I also used to have parrots and they would preen me, or one in particular would crawl on me, and go to sleep cuddled in my neck every night while I was on the couch reading (pre-internet). I imagine dogs and cats are very healing as well.
For the longest time when I began to face my trauma I didn't want anyone to touch me. It took years and a car accident to let me allow people put their hands on me. Physical therapy, massage therapy and chiropractic. It actually ended up being helpful that I became comfortable with having a man's hand on my body without freaking out interiorly.
Personally I'm a big fan of chiropractic, especially being a sensory seeker with a thing for deep pressure. You learn to trust and also advocate for yourself, to tell people "don't touch me like that, you have to be more gentle" and then have that respected. It's lovely.
Massage is MUCH safer than chiropractic (which has some "problematic" philosophies, too). A search for "chiropractic paralysis" will find lots of case studies where people suffered permanent harm.
I have been in psychoanalytic therapy for about three years. Very early on, I noticed a need that I have for physical closeness, but my therapist even refused to let us have our chairs 6 inches closer together. He refuses to have any kind of touch, which he says is because of my possible sexual abuse history. I feel that I cannot completely heal without some physical touch because it represents acceptance. Lack of touch represents rejection to me. I think that he is the one with some kind of history or past experiences that he is not able to let himself relax on this topic. I trust him to not go over the boundaries, but I think that he doesn't have the self-introspection to know that he is the person who is slowing our work down. What if the therapist is the person who has the hang-ups regarding non-sexual touch? I know that I could change therapists but that would mean giving up the relationship that we have worked so hard on.
I think that's very possible. Many people get into psychology because they have issues of their own. He's got to be in deep denial. You will have to trust your gut on what to do. Very interesting. I hope the best for you, regardless of your choice. Happy New Year 🎉😊❤
I feel you are projecting yourself on him bit too much. Physical touch is very intimate thing and I don't really know why you ask it from therapist who also has their own personal boundaries regarding his clients. Also you said for you touch represents acceptance. For most people touch is important but it's not a tool for self validation. Or it shouldn't be. I know lot of people seek validation through sex. Maybe he realizes you have unhealthy approach towards touch and that's why doesn't want to reciprocate. And lastly, you are in psychoanalytic therapy. From what I remember it works for people who like to go through their issues with logic and problem solving. You might want to try some other type of therapy. I wouldn't be surprised if you chose this type of therapy unconsciously because it lets you be in a distance and makes you repeat problematic cycle with closeness and lack of it. The fact that you are more invested on analyzing him as person and his faults means the therapy is going in wrong way anyways
I cannot remember any trauma or incident. I still cannot enjoy too much physical closeness. Only my children can hug me shortly. Is this strange? I don't know.
I become sick to my stomach if someone adult hugs or touches me, especially if I can’t see the perpetrators. I either hug children when they want or I have to initiate the contact.
Even saying the word physical touch makes me feel like I ate something nasty, and my body goes into flight mold. I don't like people touching me even my nephew when he was a baby. It was hard just changing him and putting on lotion. Now that he is older, he knows to ask me but it's good since he has a sensory disorder so we both know when to ask and when to let go. Animals are fine I never have any issues it's just humans need to stay far away.
I feel that. I was beaten a lot as a kid and now I can’t stand other people touching me. How do I know the human is safe? How do I know they won’t hurt me? I don’t. At least animals are predictable.
If it's about trying to create energy and momentum or increase the impact of the words, trying to give more power to the content. That's needs to be in the delivery. I agree it's not a strategy that fits this content.
I am so sorry this traumatized you. It also hurt my sensory input. In order to glean the information, I had to put the phone down, simply listen to the content, and not look at the screen at all.
Betrayal trauma and physical touch are a big deal as well! This video correlates well with the kind of trauma I am currently healing from.
Thank you
In my sick family hugging and kissing were common, they all carried the Judas DNA. Kiss and betray. I now hate being hugged or kissed, it's triggering.
How are you healing yourself
@@n.n9035 Currently psychotherapy, EMDR therapy, processing my emotions by dealing with them and not running around from them, spiritual practices…. I'd like to start working out, singing again, studying for my near future career, etc! All of those are methods of healing for me.
@@n.n9035 Currently, I've been healing myself through psychotherapy, creating healthy boundaries, EMDR therapy, processing my emotions by sitting in them allowing them to pass and not suppressing them or running away from them, & spiritual practices. However, I’d like to start working out more, start back singing again, and study for my near future career.
@@n.n9035 Currently, I've been healing using Psychotherapy, and EMDR therapy, processing my emotions by sitting in them and letting them pass instead of suppressing them or running away from them, and creating healthy boundaries and spiritual practices.
Very helpful and on-target with trauma survivors and touch.
My two sons are the only ones who can enter my boundaries and give me a bear hug. In thier space I'm safe - everyone else please back off and let me love you from a distance. It is what it is 😔
Same! Only person I want a hug from is my son
This is so true. I completely avoid touching people in any way, it's so disturbing to me when people get too close. I get annoyed when people insist on touching me, I don't even like shaking hands with anyone, especially with males. Sexual trauma is a big thing.
My ex husband was a self entitled narcissistic ticking time bomb. He was unpredictable and demanding. He would be cruel toward me and my children, then when we were in bed, he would slide his hand over me, and I would have a reaction that made me feel sick. Sometimes he'd kick me out of the bed. 12 years on, the on thing I miss is just companionship. Just being held without expectation.
Me ❤️🩹 2
Yes❤
Hi from the UK.
I've just found your channel and haven't listened to all of this particular show as yet.
I've just completed 2yrs of trauma therapy and I can now see why, when some of my work colleagues hug me, sometimes I freeze others I'm OK.
My late hubby was the only man I've ever made love with and it was beautiful every time.
I miss him so much and I'm not sure if I'm ever going to get this kind of love again.
Thank you
Pets are comforting. When younger, I used to be an equestrian and never realized how regulating horses were. There is an extreme amount of touch, whether it be grooming, petting/praising or even riding. You're in contact with the horse all the time you're riding. It's a relationship that must be built - no other relationship with an animal (other than an exotic perhaps) where you can easily be killed by this large creature, and yet you must trust each other. It's a healing quality, to know your horse trusts you as much as you trust it.
I see there is equine therapy now, I don't know what it entails. I've also seen some prisons in the US who utilize horses and many of the prisoners state that is the first time they've ever trusted anyone or anything. It's more of a program to "socialize" captured mustangs with humans, and I believe they are eventually sold. I watched a documentary a few years about it and it changed many lives.
I also used to have parrots and they would preen me, or one in particular would crawl on me, and go to sleep cuddled in my neck every night while I was on the couch reading (pre-internet). I imagine dogs and cats are very healing as well.
When I don’t have my dog around I start getting erratic and emotionally unstable.
Horse With No Name ❤
4:28 You just popped my balloon, Doc.
Your best video yet.
Thanks
Happy it was helpful!
For the longest time when I began to face my trauma I didn't want anyone to touch me. It took years and a car accident to let me allow people put their hands on me. Physical therapy, massage therapy and chiropractic. It actually ended up being helpful that I became comfortable with having a man's hand on my body without freaking out interiorly.
Thank you Doctor Giacomucci. I enjoy learning from the videos you produce.
Glad you like them!
Personally I'm a big fan of chiropractic, especially being a sensory seeker with a thing for deep pressure. You learn to trust and also advocate for yourself, to tell people "don't touch me like that, you have to be more gentle" and then have that respected. It's lovely.
I completely agree!
Yeah male massage therapist has been really helpful for me. Especially if their trauma informed.
Massage is MUCH safer than chiropractic (which has some "problematic" philosophies, too). A search for "chiropractic paralysis" will find lots of case studies where people suffered permanent harm.
Sexual violence say the words
As a child or adult it’s sexual Abuse violence you can’t or didn’t consent to
sometimes, it's just physical violence.
Thank you for this important information.
This was very helpful. Thank you
Glad it was helpful!
Helpful video, ThankYou
Wow, what a cool name, Dr Giacomucci!
I have been in psychoanalytic therapy for about three years. Very early on, I noticed a need that I have for physical closeness, but my therapist even refused to let us have our chairs 6 inches closer together. He refuses to have any kind of touch, which he says is because of my possible sexual abuse history. I feel that I cannot completely heal without some physical touch because it represents acceptance. Lack of touch represents rejection to me. I think that he is the one with some kind of history or past experiences that he is not able to let himself relax on this topic. I trust him to not go over the boundaries, but I think that he doesn't have the self-introspection to know that he is the person who is slowing our work down.
What if the therapist is the person who has the hang-ups regarding non-sexual touch? I know that I could change therapists but that would mean giving up the relationship that we have worked so hard on.
I think that's very possible. Many people get into psychology because they have issues of their own.
He's got to be in deep denial.
You will have to trust your gut on what to do. Very interesting. I hope the best for you, regardless of your choice.
Happy New Year 🎉😊❤
I feel you are projecting yourself on him bit too much. Physical touch is very intimate thing and I don't really know why you ask it from therapist who also has their own personal boundaries regarding his clients. Also you said for you touch represents acceptance. For most people touch is important but it's not a tool for self validation. Or it shouldn't be. I know lot of people seek validation through sex. Maybe he realizes you have unhealthy approach towards touch and that's why doesn't want to reciprocate. And lastly, you are in psychoanalytic therapy. From what I remember it works for people who like to go through their issues with logic and problem solving. You might want to try some other type of therapy. I wouldn't be surprised if you chose this type of therapy unconsciously because it lets you be in a distance and makes you repeat problematic cycle with closeness and lack of it. The fact that you are more invested on analyzing him as person and his faults means the therapy is going in wrong way anyways
I cannot remember any trauma or incident. I still cannot enjoy too much physical closeness. Only my children can hug me shortly. Is this strange? I don't know.
I become sick to my stomach if someone adult hugs or touches me, especially if I can’t see the perpetrators. I either hug children when they want or I have to initiate the contact.
Narm psychotherapy is also good
Even saying the word physical touch makes me feel like I ate something nasty, and my body goes into flight mold. I don't like people touching me even my nephew when he was a baby. It was hard just changing him and putting on lotion. Now that he is older, he knows to ask me but it's good since he has a sensory disorder so we both know when to ask and when to let go. Animals are fine I never have any issues it's just humans need to stay far away.
I feel that. I was beaten a lot as a kid and now I can’t stand other people touching me. How do I know the human is safe? How do I know they won’t hurt me?
I don’t. At least animals are predictable.
I'm traumatized just by watching this. What's with the jumpy nature of the camera view & constant editing?
If it's about trying to create energy and momentum or increase the impact of the words, trying to give more power to the content. That's needs to be in the delivery. I agree it's not a strategy that fits this content.
😂
I am so sorry this traumatized you. It also hurt my sensory input. In order to glean the information, I had to put the phone down, simply listen to the content, and not look at the screen at all.
💀🤣
Very funny. Using the word “traumatized” as a hyperbole for unsettling.
Grow up.
That's me, i wont let anybody touch me.
That's me
All this is horrible :(. I had no issues with sex before and now I'm broken due to someone else. I don't want a damn yoga :/
This has a political angle....