For guests next season I think an episode about kids who didn't become stars but were still in the industry would be interesting. Maybe bring in some child extras, or supporting characters that didnt see much fame. It would be interesting to compare the effects.
Jennette McCurdy has explored this a lot on her own podcast. It's a LOT more raw than this, but if you want a less psychological, or scientific, look at these parasocial relationships, it's a good one to check out. She has personally really struggled with this and is really honest on record, which I appreciate.
@@LayingInAMeadow Yes, this one is definitely a lot more calm and educational - Jennette is just a former child actress with a lot of therapy talking about what that means day to day for her.
As a pastor's kid, I really, really related to this video. It's taken me years, decades, to begin detaching from my mask, and it's still very messy. People have such high, rigid expectations. Thanks for making this!
that's so interesting. i never thought about that...i'm sorry you went through it. are you wiling to share more? or maybe direct me to some resources. i was catholic, so no one in the leadership had children...
YES. I was raised in an extremely strict religious christian household, and was homeschooled so I was raised with a religious mask I could never take off that replaced so much of my identity that 9 years out of the church I still deeply struggle with who I am. I have so much empathy for allison on this as a small part of me knows what it was like for her.
Omg I thought the show was ending… and then you said season 2! Very happy to hear. I enjoy learning and listening to what you have to say about childhood stardom. It’s important and I try to share it with others.
I've always imagined fame would be horrible and every week I feel validated. Sad that humanity is so focused on building people up in superficial ways and then tearing down or discarding them. Consumer cannibalism.
In a future roundtable discussion, id love to hear from any child actor who has been successful in avoiding the trainwreck pipeline - what was different for them? What other resources or access did they have? What role did their guardian play, as well as the role of their producer or director? Im not sure if such an actor exists, but it would be great to hear from them if they do... There would be a lot of lessons there for sure
Hmm “avoiding the train wreck.” It would be tricky (if not impossible) to find a person. “Train wreck” initially makes me think of people who externalize their struggles, but for those who internalize, the “train wreck” is much more insidious. You’re not acting out, you’re acting inward. So it’s not going to be on the front page of a magazine.
Also it depends on how you define “train wreck.” Train wreck could mean DUIs, shaving your head, running naked, etc. Or is the real “train wreck” the exploitation of the child? I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts! I’m not meaning to argue with you fyi. Your comment made me think deeper about the topic. So thank you.
I often maladaptively daydream about being famous to escape my troubles in life. It helped me cope with abuse from parents and bullying. This idea that if one day they would turn on the TV and see me there as a famous actress it would erase all of my hurt. That I'm not the pathetic thing they bullied I'm an untouchable star that everyone admires. Also in the daydreams all of the actors and celebrities I admire are friends with me. and one is married to me. Of course...things like stalkers assaulting me were never in the daydreams. I appreciate you picking apart this idea of fame and what it really entails. Hoping I can get over this fantasy life soon. I'm grateful I can distinguish reality from fantasy and I don't have the psychotic break that stalkers have.
I would love to hear from the Olsen twins who got extremly famous before they had their first words and Miley Cyrus who had an "interesting" way to dissociate herself from her disney persona, which I think I can understand much better now thanks to Dear Hollywood
the olsen twins said everything they needed to say when they distanced themselves from full house and acting. i'm really happy for them. they lost their childhood but at least they have control now.
In regards to who else would be good to have a conversation with, both Will Wheaton and Jeannette McCurdy have written books on this topic. As for the role model question, that's a tough one. I often discuss the parasocial relationship with my kid because they watch a lot of TH-camrs and I worry about the messages they are getting. I don't know if that means that these TH-camrs also have a responsibility to be a role model, but they definitely have to at least be aware of their influence. I guess maybe the same thing applies to celebrities even if they are children.
As an open mic artist who would like to make it in comedy and songwriting/music, I think fame would be a nightmare. I'd be happy enough to just make enough money to live on, but the concept of people lurking outside my house or apartment would freak me out. I enjoy all of these episodes. I hope you continue this series!
I am autistic, and in the autistic community, the term mask basically means to hide all of your artistic behaviors and act in a way that is not natural to you. We are all tired to do this from a very young age and I did not question it because I thought the adults around me were helping me. But instead it just caused me to have horrible anxiety as an adult.. Some ways that we are forced to mask are not being allowed to have stem or being forced to make eye contact or being forced to sit still for long periods of time, etc. The reason why I bring this up is because I cannot imagine how hard it would’ve having the whole world watching me and judging me for my autistic behaviors that society has for some reason deemed rude.
I feel this. As I watched this series, I was struck by the similarities of autistic children and child actors in that the adults who supposedly had our best interests at heart were constantly telling us to behave in approved ways, thereby not being our authentic selves.
I would love to hear from the Jonas brothers. I wanna hear more about where the influence for chastity rings came from. Did it come from Disney, their parents, their agents? Maybe if we heard from Dylan and/or Cole Sprouse? That could be interesting to hear their opinion on Disney and child stardom considering they’ve been in the spotlight since they were like 4.
I'm so glad you mentioned the Jonas brothers because I immediately thought of Joe Jonas when Alyson talked about how she'd feel without fame because she doesn't know a life without stardom before the age of 8 or 9 and fame being addictive. 9:38 time stamp. 9:49. In the happiness begins Jonas brothers documentary it was mentioned that Joe was attached to their fame because their fame was tied to their livelihood, their survival...etc and anything that would threaten or risk that brought on alot of hardship among them. I think he'd be a good person to have as a guest next season.
When the Jonas Brothers did Carpool Karaoke with James Cordon, he asked about the purity rings, they said that since they grew up going to church and their dad was a minister that at a certain age you get a purity ring so they all wore one. Then reporter asked about the rings and they didn't want to talk about it and the reporter said fine I will just say you guys are in a cult. So they decided to tell the reporter about the purity rings and it blew up from there
I would love to hear more from Tiffany Thornton. There was a zoom video that you and fellow sonny with a chance stars shared with us during covid. I was particularly impressed by her choices in changing her life drastically. She seemed so down to earth and natural. It would be interesting to hear how she released her mask and chose to embrace her authentic self. This video series has been very enlightening and definitely makes me think of children in media in a very different light. My heart aches for all that they are going through. I suffer from cptsd from childhood experiences. There was much healing I had to face in my adult life to be my authentic self. Having gone through those difficulties I cannot even imagine the difficulty of finding similar healing for chil stars. No child should be carrying the levels of burden that you have described. I look forward to hearing about your solutions to such complex systematic problems.
I followed this from the first episode and I have been looking forward to Fridays the whole time! As for child stars being role models for children, I feel like it robs the star of their own childhood. What happened to being your child’s own role model? Why do parents want to latch on to celebrities so closely? Like Miley Cyrus, it felt like she was screaming that she was becoming an adult and was no longer this Hannah Montana persona. No one took her seriously until Can’t Be Tamed and Wrecking Ball. It’s sad she felt that she needed to oversexualize herself in order to be taken seriously, but I am proud of her for setting the record straight. Child stars don’t owe you a role model. They are actors and actresses. You don’t expect actors who play doctors on TV to have actual medical knowledge, why expect kids who play characters on TV to be angels? They’re kids living in a very adult world.
In terms of upcoming guests it could be interesting to have siblings on and how their experience navigating fame differed because of the map they already had- EX: Dakota and Elle Fanning, or multi generational acting families like Goldie Hawn/Kate Hudson etc... I'd be especially curious what goes through a famous parent's mind when their child wants to pursue the industry that has simultaneously given them everything they had but presented the challenges you outline across the podcast. It could also be great to bring on experts in re-parenting and/or healthy nervous system development to understand how we can all better tackle our relationship to ourselves
I know you probably have more of a pull with the 2000s Disney/Nick stars, but here are some guest suggestions: Mara Wilson, Jennette McCurdy, Lindsay Lohan, Dylan Sprouse, Macaulay Culkin, Melissa Gilbert, Ron Howard, Dante Basco, Mayim Bialik, Christina Ricci, Thora Birch, Miley Cyrus, Kirsten Dunst, Dakota Fanning, Emma Roberts, Jojo, Fred Savage, Danica McKellar, Josh Saviano (he grew up to become an attorney, so he could have some valuable legal insight), Shailene Woodley, the Mowry siblings, Haley Mills, Kurt Russell, etc. Former kid actors from ensemble projects would be cool too, like the Stranger Things kids, the Brat Pack, or any of the kids from the Brady Bunch and Partridge Family era. I think it could also be interesting to hear from children who are better known for their voice acting roles--like Francesca Marie Smith ("Helga" from Hey, Arnold!)--to see how that experience differed.
I definitely have followed you throughout your career. Not weirdly bc we are the same age but you were always on TV for me growing up. I definitely admire everything you have ever given. You are not your character you're greater than that. Alyson stoner you are a human being with talent, intelligence, your dancing out of this world. You have always been a favorite of mine in every aspect. ♥️ I'm so happy to continue this journey with you and help you spread the word! You got this! You're so strong is every way!
I think the role model standards have changed for me as I've aged. As a child and well into my adolescence, it was upheld that if a celeb made a mistake they were immediately shamed or "cancelled". I have worked to keep the standards that I uphold for my peers and friends the same as for celebs. Because we are all just people. I try to take into consideration the stresses that are added and think critically about the things I'm holding them accountable for. I ask myself if I'm so perfect? Sadly, society is still narrow minded on this, but I think that what adult child stars are doing is helping so much! Thank you Alyson!
I've never seen someone respond to notoriety with so much chaotic grace. I know recognizing how wide our blind spots are can be incredibly daunting. The gambit of integrating those things, while depersonalizing the situation in order to really feel the weight of our honest impact, tempers a person undeniably into leaning into pettiness or purpose. It gives me courage to see you not succumbing to the cynicism of your conditioning. Your love of learning, and willingness to further forge your concept of purpose through crowd sourcing,. It's nothing short of inspiring. Inspiration, in its' components means breath of God. This podcast feels like a collective sigh of relief. I'm grateful for you and all the invisible efforts of all the people it took to make it. Your intent has a humble fluidity to it, but I believe it really is to crowd source insight into yourself and your own blind spots, then amplify that, to lend to the metric of problem solving and greater benefit of others with yourself. The fact that you're striving so hard to not leave behind the people who are still affected by this, instead of trying to shed your former self with prejudice. I have no rational right to the parasocial pride I feel when I see you pivot in real time towards inclusion. Knowing that, I still want to do my level best to lend to that purpose. So that I, too, can overcome my futility and positioning.
I’m also gonna say Demi. That human has had a rollercoaster. Bless them. 🥰 That’s a survival viewpoint right there. I second someone else’s comment about those who were in the industry but not exactly famous, that could be an interesting viewpoint. Someone mentioned those who were famous but escaped the trauma. I agree that knowing their influences and factors may add to the conversation. And Macauley Culkin, Haley Joel Osment… And maybe even some younger humans who are living it right now? If you felt there were any able to speak on it. I don’t know if there’s another person who would have the sensitivity to handle this topic that you do.
It would be interesting if you brought in Pod Meets World because they talk about this often and it seems like being a child actor in the 90s was similar yet very different. Jennette McCurdy too as others have suggested. This would be a reach but maybe Rose McGowan, Shannon Doherty, Alyssa Milano, Lawerence Brothers, Mayim Balik, a mix of actors who are well recognised either from working as a kid actor and continue to currently, or actors known and familiar but are still able to live a life privately.
You should have a round table with the Harry Potter cast. I know they’re experience is filtered through the British Film Industry, but I feel like they would have so many thoughtful things to say about this topic and the UK aspect would only serve to give more thoughtful comparison and insight. Thank you for this wonderful series. I’ve been watching every week. It’s wonderful and so informative.
Alyson this series is fantastic and this episode was especially freeing for me! I hope the notoriety and respect you gain from sharing your process, journey, and knowledge will quickly out shadow the limiting mask childhood stardom placed on you. You have a unique perspective and the ear of so many people who adore you. Keep speaking truth, we are listening.
Yeahhhh I'm glad you're making more episodes ,my favorite part of Friday's. How scary about you're stalker hopefully he stopped.Alyson you should have Alex Nokilas she been through so much too. You come out with great stuff can't wait.. Have a Great Day!!!
From a typical non artist background saying "you are a wash out / hasbeen" as a retort of reality but after understanding that your fame is your Identity, saying such throw away line to an artist cuts really deep.
Thank you SO much Alyson for your lovely effort on these podcasts, we really need to think and talk about all of this as media is consumed! Someone mentioned that Jennette McCurdy would be a nice addition to season two and I totally agree. Same with Demi Lovato, Raven Symone, and Selena Gomez. I feel like the intersections of child stardomme with the development of identity is really important to talk about when trying to answer the last question you posed about role model responsibility (esp for kids). I don’t have an answer of my own , necessarily, but I feel listening to more first hand experiences on how being underdeveloped and not knowing of one’s identity led to certain situations in hollywood or health issues (mental/physical). p.s. this series has created a new “alyson stoner mask” that I think about - I hope you take comfort in knowing that’s the case for some and we don’t all think of that 8year old in music videos still.
Thank you for this. As someone who started performing at a young age, this really helps me better understand my relationship with my self and the world, and it’s a much needed therapy.
Also having medical experts to mediate or comment on. would be great for accoutability for how to change the system. Having the other side with producers/ casting, directors also dont stop the discussion at villanize retoric of the industry.
I’d love to hear anything you have to say for season 2! Your voice and perspective is so unique and valuable, can’t wait to continue following your career🖤
Subscribed and notifications on. Waiting for the action plan. I ran into this because I was thinking about all the years of hearing artists dieing and turning to drugs. And the relation between them being child stars. It got the hamster on the wheel turning in my brain. Thanks for sharing
I’ve studied actors, the craft of acting and their art for this exact purpose 😅 Multiple sets of behavioral expectations for performance 🎭 in all spaces
Looking forward to season 2! You have given me a lot to think about and a new perspective to consider. I've never been one to fangirl, or at least have been more cynical of parasocial relationships. However, you have helped me realize that I do often hold famous people to a different standard than the people I actually know. Thanks for your hard work to put this all together and looking forward to more great thought provoking content!
After tuning in week after week I just have to say this is one of the most insightful and informative series on TH-cam right now. It feels like I’m stepping into university discourse but with a modern more introspective twist. Thanks for all the work you’ve put into this and I’m very much looking forward to seeing your continued work in this area.
It's important to note, that more times than not we are objects of projection irl as well. So many ppl change their names so others don't associate them with the stereotypes, ppl have treated me differently positively and negatively because they were projecting so much on me. I think we all do it. Hence the phrase: I don't know why but I just dont like him... It's the curse of living in a global village. When we find ppl that look like ppl that bullied us we just don't like them...
Thank you for continuing this series. They're a great insight into the reality of growing up in that environment. And im sorry for what you went through because of it. You are definitely part of my childhood but I'd never stalk you, that's horrible behavior.
Such a great series! I have loved listening every week. It would be great to have some psychologists on to talk about what happens in the brain and their suggestions
Hi Alyson, is it possible to interview athletes since they are so similar to dancers? Especially athletes that are children of famous athletes? The situation is very similar. I’m very sad because more than one athlete ended up in jail because he surrounded himself with yes people. The stalkers can be yes people. It’s extremely stressful, and sometimes the police say “you put yourself out there” if the stalked person legitimately calls for help
What about actors like Melissa Joan Hart and Mayim Bialik? A variety of child/adult actors would be a great way to get different insights and how their experiences pertain to the topics discussed in your series.
There are so many different directions a round table can go, and I hope you do mutltiple ones! I'd love to see something directed towards traditional fame vs social media fame. I would hope it could shed light on continuing to make changes toward the future.
Holding an influential figure, whether they became famous overnight or throughout a career, to your own subjective standard of a "positive role model" is impractical and removes your responsibility for critical thinking. When celebrities are not our version of a positive role model we still have the autonomy to decide what we and our children consume. We also have to ask ourselves: what is a positive role model? In my opinion, the power and influence generated from witnessing a celebrity make a mistake, take accountability, and make reparations is far more impactful than an inauthentic vague reputation.
Been on a Dear Hollywood marathon! Just in time for the season finale 😊 I love this educational series and I’m glad there will be a second season! It’ll be interesting to hear more about what it’s like in the industry and learning more about the dangers of said industry (and how Alyson is surviving through it all)
Jeanette McCurdy, Alexa Nikolas, Miley Cyrus, the Olsen twins, Hilary Duff, the Spouse twins, Jennifer Stone, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Macaulay Cuklin, Drew Barrymore, Britney Spears are all people I think of that would be AMAZING to bring on as guests as long as they're willing and speak personally and honestly.
For guests/topics next season it would be interesting to hear about how typecasting affects child actors. Maybe you could bring in guests who were typecasted as villains to see how that played a role in the pipeline.
I feel that every human, famous or not, has a responsibility of being a role model, but celebrity have this responsibility on a much larger scale and can make a much larger impact
woaw, thank you for your work, this podcast is amazing i’m listening to it entirely during a white night at my art school working alone from france you’re reaching people, you’re making the difference and thank you for using your platform that way, thank you for the grow you have done and the care you give to yourself and people surrounding yourself, it’s making a difference 💗
I would LOVE to see Raven & Alexa Nikolas in season 2! Also, I think stars CAN be role models, but they don't HAVE to. We shouldn't expect that much from any 1 person unless they decide to take on that role themselves, and even then, people change, so we have to be understanding if that changes for them.
I have heard that too regarding stalkers who thought they were married or related to the person. A girl I used to hang out in high school constantly thinks she is related to some famous star. Luckily, it never got out of control and never lead to stalking. She has been struggling with mental health for many years.
Refered to this site from a New York Times article . Amazing ! Where did such Psychological insight and observation come from ? Took me years and I'm still struggling to get to this level . Keep up the good work you are definitely on the right road ...
I really feel bad for any child star that had to deal with being stalked especially at such a young age i remember hearing about what danielle harris and emma Watson went through
This has been incredible! I have been watching each week but I am also excited to binge through the whole season a second time when its all been released!! I am excited for a season 2 as well!! I think it would be cool to dig deeper with everyones experience including yours. But of course that is up to you. I think it would be really cool to have Miley Cyrus on the podcast, as well as Selena Gomez, Demi, the Jonas Brothers and Jojo Siwa would be a good one as well. I know there are so many more that it would be so cool to see them dig deep into their journey as well.
As an older cousin to many - the only positive thing i can model, teach, encourage more of - is for the younglings to keep exploring the world, their identities and beliefs further till the end As for parasocial relations of their projection on me, pedestals, golden and dark shadows etc …. - and how i do that with others -- the hedgehog effect is real, even if I’m living with someone, i think it’s part of my job daily to actively focus my attention on loving and be grateful for what’s there Like programming into myself that “this is thing is so great that i think there’s something more to come out of it” - as my signal to appreciate it for what it is and maybe bring it to others, and that’s about it….
Hey Alyson, as you were mention “the mask” reminded me how my psychologist mentioned this while describing mental health.i don’t recall exactly what you said, but you mentioned something that made me realize I had experience “the mask” but with my mental health experiences. In some way is the best way I can make it make sense 😂 But as you said towards the end I wouldn’t wish this kind of thing on a child. I’m sorry you and your fellow co-stars have experience this. It’s not right. A child should just worry to be a child nothing else. It’s heart breaking to imagine children going through this.
while im not a child actor i def grew up with your show, and find this beginning message very helpful for my own mental problems , im at the point where i think child acting should be illegal but that aint happening so trying to improve it is better than nothing
I genuinely recommended checking the interviews where Becky G talks about working to provide for her family at a young age in the performing industry. Even if you can't have her on the show you'll love to hear her point of view. Also as she's latin american and mixed race she would have an amayzing insight on the topic as in latin american at times families are expecting their children to help parents get some necessities covered.
Thrusting such great responsibility onto children is such a wildly inappropriate thing for adults to do. YES these child celebrities are responsible for their fans and that's exactly the problem.
Your last point about role models…I really don’t know what to make of that impulse if I may be honest . For one, whether we like it or not, child stars do have an enormous amount of influence on their public, but at the same time they themselves are kids who are just as fallible as the kids that they purport to inspire . My intuition though is that it is wrong. No kid should be held up to those standards. But then, I have to ask… how can we even change course now since the train -sort of speak-has long left the station?
I know the Olsen Twins don't do social media, but I would love to hear from them I know they struggled being the in the public eye and I think that's a voice I would like to hear from.
I think that if a child says they want to be a star the parent should say ok but you’ll have to set an example for all the people younger than you because they’ll put you on a pedestal if you’re famous. I was about to say that I’m confused why any parent would choose this life, without their child asking for it but i just remembered my mum signed me up to stagecoach and stagecoach agency to boost my confidence when I was 7 which it did for a little while. I’m not sure if it was the industry that wrecked my confidence or all the other things that were going on in my life at the time. Maybe a bit of both because it definitely didn’t help my body confidence but it did and still does motivate me to look after my teeth.
A child's first role model should be their parents. It's crazy that grown adults will get mad at celebs for not setting a good example when that is YOUR JOB as a PARENT to be that for your children. It's not the world's job to set anything for anyone besides the people who brought you into this world and sometimes the community of people who are apart of that tribe. Btw, excited for season 2! Season 1 was an eye opener, thanks for sharing your thoughts, experiences, knowledge and vulnerabilities! ❤
Yes this. Also, parents should be reminding children that the people they see in movies etc are not real. In that, yes, the person is playing the role. Even if it's a role as a youtuber. But like.. that's not THEM. and they have no responsibility to live some perfect life just because they are famous.
What we should expect of kids is very little, perhaps simply working and doing their best to perform. In terms of virtues, they're still developing that and kids shouldn't have the burden of being a role model. Adults should be a role model and have virtues which will help kids they interact with also inherit those virtues. To expect kids to be more than the adults surrounding them is unreasonable.
Hey there Alyson, thanks so much for doing this. I’ve enjoyed season one, and not to be forward, but what’s the season two release date 😉? Regarding potential guests for season two, I’d LOVE to see you in conversation with Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice and/or Demi Lovato (#LatinaTrinity). Would this be possible?
Princess Diana wasn’t a child when she became internationally famous, but she was nineteen going on twenty. Do you think that the discussion around fame also applies to her to an extent even though she wasn’t a child star?
For guests next season I think an episode about kids who didn't become stars but were still in the industry would be interesting. Maybe bring in some child extras, or supporting characters that didnt see much fame.
It would be interesting to compare the effects.
And find out why we walked away.
@@desmondgutierrez yes !! 🥰
this is an excellent idea. I second this comment! :)
Jennette McCurdy has explored this a lot on her own podcast. It's a LOT more raw than this, but if you want a less psychological, or scientific, look at these parasocial relationships, it's a good one to check out. She has personally really struggled with this and is really honest on record, which I appreciate.
This doesn't trigger me the way Janettes does . I think because it sounds more calm and educational to me. Different for everyone though.
@@LayingInAMeadow Yes, this one is definitely a lot more calm and educational - Jennette is just a former child actress with a lot of therapy talking about what that means day to day for her.
Sounds like an opportunity to collab!
@@oldasyouromenswell put
Her book, I'm glad my mom died, was so illuminating to read. She really got into some gritty details.
As a pastor's kid, I really, really related to this video. It's taken me years, decades, to begin detaching from my mask, and it's still very messy. People have such high, rigid expectations. Thanks for making this!
that's so interesting. i never thought about that...i'm sorry you went through it. are you wiling to share more? or maybe direct me to some resources. i was catholic, so no one in the leadership had children...
YES. I was raised in an extremely strict religious christian household, and was homeschooled so I was raised with a religious mask I could never take off that replaced so much of my identity that 9 years out of the church I still deeply struggle with who I am. I have so much empathy for allison on this as a small part of me knows what it was like for her.
Omg I thought the show was ending… and then you said season 2! Very happy to hear. I enjoy learning and listening to what you have to say about childhood stardom. It’s important and I try to share it with others.
I've always imagined fame would be horrible and every week I feel validated. Sad that humanity is so focused on building people up in superficial ways and then tearing down or discarding them. Consumer cannibalism.
In a future roundtable discussion, id love to hear from any child actor who has been successful in avoiding the trainwreck pipeline - what was different for them? What other resources or access did they have? What role did their guardian play, as well as the role of their producer or director? Im not sure if such an actor exists, but it would be great to hear from them if they do... There would be a lot of lessons there for sure
she could get Mara wilson! She's a great example of avoiding the pipeline
Hmm “avoiding the train wreck.” It would be tricky (if not impossible) to find a person. “Train wreck” initially makes me think of people who externalize their struggles, but for those who internalize, the “train wreck” is much more insidious. You’re not acting out, you’re acting inward.
So it’s not going to be on the front page of a magazine.
Also it depends on how you define “train wreck.” Train wreck could mean DUIs, shaving your head, running naked, etc.
Or is the real “train wreck” the exploitation of the child?
I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts! I’m not meaning to argue with you fyi. Your comment made me think deeper about the topic. So thank you.
I often maladaptively daydream about being famous to escape my troubles in life. It helped me cope with abuse from parents and bullying. This idea that if one day they would turn on the TV and see me there as a famous actress it would erase all of my hurt. That I'm not the pathetic thing they bullied I'm an untouchable star that everyone admires. Also in the daydreams all of the actors and celebrities I admire are friends with me. and one is married to me. Of course...things like stalkers assaulting me were never in the daydreams. I appreciate you picking apart this idea of fame and what it really entails. Hoping I can get over this fantasy life soon. I'm grateful I can distinguish reality from fantasy and I don't have the psychotic break that stalkers have.
I would love to hear from the Olsen twins who got extremly famous before they had their first words and Miley Cyrus who had an "interesting" way to dissociate herself from her disney persona, which I think I can understand much better now thanks to Dear Hollywood
Yes, I'd love to hear from the Olsen twins. What an extreme situation. Miley Cyrus too, she seems to be handling fame a lot better than most.
the olsen twins said everything they needed to say when they distanced themselves from full house and acting. i'm really happy for them. they lost their childhood but at least they have control now.
@@aceshigh5157 that’s great, I’m not familiar. I’ll look it up. Of course no one has to show up but I do think they would bring a unique perspective.
In regards to who else would be good to have a conversation with, both Will Wheaton and Jeannette McCurdy have written books on this topic. As for the role model question, that's a tough one. I often discuss the parasocial relationship with my kid because they watch a lot of TH-camrs and I worry about the messages they are getting. I don't know if that means that these TH-camrs also have a responsibility to be a role model, but they definitely have to at least be aware of their influence. I guess maybe the same thing applies to celebrities even if they are children.
I totally agree with you about TH-camrs they do need to be aware that they have an influence on kids
As an open mic artist who would like to make it in comedy and songwriting/music, I think fame would be a nightmare. I'd be happy enough to just make enough money to live on, but the concept of people lurking outside my house or apartment would freak me out. I enjoy all of these episodes. I hope you continue this series!
I am autistic, and in the autistic community, the term mask basically means to hide all of your artistic behaviors and act in a way that is not natural to you. We are all tired to do this from a very young age and I did not question it because I thought the adults around me were helping me. But instead it just caused me to have horrible anxiety as an adult.. Some ways that we are forced to mask are not being allowed to have stem or being forced to make eye contact or being forced to sit still for long periods of time, etc. The reason why I bring this up is because I cannot imagine how hard it would’ve having the whole world watching me and judging me for my autistic behaviors that society has for some reason deemed rude.
I feel this. As I watched this series, I was struck by the similarities of autistic children and child actors in that the adults who supposedly had our best interests at heart were constantly telling us to behave in approved ways, thereby not being our authentic selves.
I read it the same way.
I would love to hear from the Jonas brothers. I wanna hear more about where the influence for chastity rings came from. Did it come from Disney, their parents, their agents? Maybe if we heard from Dylan and/or Cole Sprouse? That could be interesting to hear their opinion on Disney and child stardom considering they’ve been in the spotlight since they were like 4.
I'm so glad you mentioned the Jonas brothers because I immediately thought of Joe Jonas when Alyson talked about how she'd feel without fame because she doesn't know a life without stardom before the age of 8 or 9 and fame being addictive. 9:38 time stamp. 9:49.
In the happiness begins Jonas brothers documentary it was mentioned that Joe was attached to their fame because their fame was tied to their livelihood, their survival...etc and anything that would threaten or risk that brought on alot of hardship among them.
I think he'd be a good person to have as a guest next season.
When the Jonas Brothers did Carpool Karaoke with James Cordon, he asked about the purity rings, they said that since they grew up going to church and their dad was a minister that at a certain age you get a purity ring so they all wore one. Then reporter asked about the rings and they didn't want to talk about it and the reporter said fine I will just say you guys are in a cult. So they decided to tell the reporter about the purity rings and it blew up from there
I would love to hear more from Tiffany Thornton. There was a zoom video that you and fellow sonny with a chance stars shared with us during covid. I was particularly impressed by her choices in changing her life drastically. She seemed so down to earth and natural. It would be interesting to hear how she released her mask and chose to embrace her authentic self.
This video series has been very enlightening and definitely makes me think of children in media in a very different light. My heart aches for all that they are going through.
I suffer from cptsd from childhood experiences. There was much healing I had to face in my adult life to be my authentic self. Having gone through those difficulties I cannot even imagine the difficulty of finding similar healing for chil stars. No child should be carrying the levels of burden that you have described.
I look forward to hearing about your solutions to such complex systematic problems.
This is amazing, Alyson! Please tell me there will be a season two of Dear Hollywood
I followed this from the first episode and I have been looking forward to Fridays the whole time!
As for child stars being role models for children, I feel like it robs the star of their own childhood.
What happened to being your child’s own role model? Why do parents want to latch on to celebrities so closely?
Like Miley Cyrus, it felt like she was screaming that she was becoming an adult and was no longer this Hannah Montana persona. No one took her seriously until Can’t Be Tamed and Wrecking Ball. It’s sad she felt that she needed to oversexualize herself in order to be taken seriously, but I am proud of her for setting the record straight.
Child stars don’t owe you a role model. They are actors and actresses. You don’t expect actors who play doctors on TV to have actual medical knowledge, why expect kids who play characters on TV to be angels?
They’re kids living in a very adult world.
In terms of upcoming guests it could be interesting to have siblings on and how their experience navigating fame differed because of the map they already had- EX: Dakota and Elle Fanning, or multi generational acting families like Goldie Hawn/Kate Hudson etc... I'd be especially curious what goes through a famous parent's mind when their child wants to pursue the industry that has simultaneously given them everything they had but presented the challenges you outline across the podcast.
It could also be great to bring on experts in re-parenting and/or healthy nervous system development to understand how we can all better tackle our relationship to ourselves
It would he amazing if you have Macaulay Culkin as a guest on S2!
I know you probably have more of a pull with the 2000s Disney/Nick stars, but here are some guest suggestions: Mara Wilson, Jennette McCurdy, Lindsay Lohan, Dylan Sprouse, Macaulay Culkin, Melissa Gilbert, Ron Howard, Dante Basco, Mayim Bialik, Christina Ricci, Thora Birch, Miley Cyrus, Kirsten Dunst, Dakota Fanning, Emma Roberts, Jojo, Fred Savage, Danica McKellar, Josh Saviano (he grew up to become an attorney, so he could have some valuable legal insight), Shailene Woodley, the Mowry siblings, Haley Mills, Kurt Russell, etc. Former kid actors from ensemble projects would be cool too, like the Stranger Things kids, the Brat Pack, or any of the kids from the Brady Bunch and Partridge Family era. I think it could also be interesting to hear from children who are better known for their voice acting roles--like Francesca Marie Smith ("Helga" from Hey, Arnold!)--to see how that experience differed.
I definitely have followed you throughout your career. Not weirdly bc we are the same age but you were always on TV for me growing up. I definitely admire everything you have ever given. You are not your character you're greater than that. Alyson stoner you are a human being with talent, intelligence, your dancing out of this world. You have always been a favorite of mine in every aspect. ♥️ I'm so happy to continue this journey with you and help you spread the word! You got this! You're so strong is every way!
I think the role model standards have changed for me as I've aged. As a child and well into my adolescence, it was upheld that if a celeb made a mistake they were immediately shamed or "cancelled". I have worked to keep the standards that I uphold for my peers and friends the same as for celebs. Because we are all just people. I try to take into consideration the stresses that are added and think critically about the things I'm holding them accountable for. I ask myself if I'm so perfect? Sadly, society is still narrow minded on this, but I think that what adult child stars are doing is helping so much!
Thank you Alyson!
I've never seen someone respond to notoriety with so much chaotic grace.
I know recognizing how wide our blind spots are can be incredibly daunting.
The gambit of integrating those things, while depersonalizing the situation in order to really feel the weight of our honest impact, tempers a person undeniably into leaning into pettiness or purpose.
It gives me courage to see you not succumbing to the cynicism of your conditioning.
Your love of learning, and willingness to further forge your concept of purpose through crowd sourcing,.
It's nothing short of inspiring.
Inspiration, in its' components means breath of God.
This podcast feels like a collective sigh of relief.
I'm grateful for you and all the invisible efforts of all the people it took to make it.
Your intent has a humble fluidity to it, but I believe it really is to crowd source insight into yourself and your own blind spots, then amplify that, to lend to the metric of problem solving and greater benefit of others with yourself.
The fact that you're striving so hard to not leave behind the people who are still affected by this, instead of trying to shed your former self with prejudice.
I have no rational right to the parasocial pride I feel when I see you pivot in real time towards inclusion.
Knowing that, I still want to do my level best to lend to that purpose.
So that I, too, can overcome my futility and positioning.
This is like a fireside chat for young Hollywood 11/10
You did such a great job with this series, Alyson! We are all very proud of you!! 💗
You’re so right! All of these children getting masks so young that by the time they’re adults they feel as if they have to wear it always.
I’m also gonna say Demi. That human has had a rollercoaster. Bless them. 🥰 That’s a survival viewpoint right there.
I second someone else’s comment about those who were in the industry but not exactly famous, that could be an interesting viewpoint.
Someone mentioned those who were famous but escaped the trauma. I agree that knowing their influences and factors may add to the conversation.
And Macauley Culkin, Haley Joel Osment…
And maybe even some younger humans who are living it right now? If you felt there were any able to speak on it. I don’t know if there’s another person who would have the sensitivity to handle this topic that you do.
It would be interesting if you brought in Pod Meets World because they talk about this often and it seems like being a child actor in the 90s was similar yet very different. Jennette McCurdy too as others have suggested. This would be a reach but maybe Rose McGowan, Shannon Doherty, Alyssa Milano, Lawerence Brothers, Mayim Balik, a mix of actors who are well recognised either from working as a kid actor and continue to currently, or actors known and familiar but are still able to live a life privately.
for sure shannon doherty
DEF. the hate she faced was no joke
You should have a round table with the Harry Potter cast. I know they’re experience is filtered through the British Film Industry, but I feel like they would have so many thoughtful things to say about this topic and the UK aspect would only serve to give more thoughtful comparison and insight. Thank you for this wonderful series. I’ve been watching every week. It’s wonderful and so informative.
Alyson this series is fantastic and this episode was especially freeing for me! I hope the notoriety and respect you gain from sharing your process, journey, and knowledge will quickly out shadow the limiting mask childhood stardom placed on you. You have a unique perspective and the ear of so many people who adore you. Keep speaking truth, we are listening.
Yeahhhh I'm glad you're making more episodes ,my favorite part of Friday's. How scary about you're stalker hopefully he stopped.Alyson you should have Alex Nokilas she been through so much too. You come out with great stuff can't wait.. Have a Great Day!!!
From a typical non artist background saying "you are a wash out / hasbeen" as a retort of reality but after understanding that your fame is your Identity, saying such throw away line to an artist cuts really deep.
Fascinating & insightful. Food for thought. Thank you for this series.
Thank you so much for the work you put into this. This is not “just another podcast”, it is literally a high quality audiobook!
Next season I'd like it if you addressed Child Athletes that become stars, especially in the world of tennis (so many horror stories).
please ask demi to be on season 2! season 1 has been fantastic!
Thank you SO much Alyson for your lovely effort on these podcasts, we really need to think and talk about all of this as media is consumed!
Someone mentioned that Jennette McCurdy would be a nice addition to season two and I totally agree. Same with Demi Lovato, Raven Symone, and Selena Gomez. I feel like the intersections of child stardomme with the development of identity is really important to talk about when trying to answer the last question you posed about role model responsibility (esp for kids). I don’t have an answer of my own , necessarily, but I feel listening to more first hand experiences on how being underdeveloped and not knowing of one’s identity led to certain situations in hollywood or health issues (mental/physical).
p.s. this series has created a new “alyson stoner mask” that I think about - I hope you take comfort in knowing that’s the case for some and we don’t all think of that 8year old in music videos still.
Your name is justin bieber hater.. Why?
Thank you for this. As someone who started performing at a young age, this really helps me better understand my relationship with my self and the world, and it’s a much needed therapy.
Also having medical experts to mediate or comment on. would be great for accoutability for how to change the system.
Having the other side with producers/ casting, directors also dont stop the discussion at villanize retoric of the industry.
Because beyound kids the enviroment for adults could also change.
I’d love to hear anything you have to say for season 2! Your voice and perspective is so unique and valuable, can’t wait to continue following your career🖤
Subscribed and notifications on. Waiting for the action plan. I ran into this because I was thinking about all the years of hearing artists dieing and turning to drugs. And the relation between them being child stars. It got the hamster on the wheel turning in my brain. Thanks for sharing
Keke Palmer talked with Raven Simone about childhood stardom on her podcast! They might be great people to reach out to on season 2
which episode? is it the one with ravens girlfriend?
I've loved Season 1! If Ashley Tisdale would be a guest on Season 2, I'd be interested in her perspective.
I’ve studied actors, the craft of acting and their art for this exact purpose 😅 Multiple sets of behavioral expectations for performance 🎭 in all spaces
Looking forward to season 2! You have given me a lot to think about and a new perspective to consider. I've never been one to fangirl, or at least have been more cynical of parasocial relationships. However, you have helped me realize that I do often hold famous people to a different standard than the people I actually know. Thanks for your hard work to put this all together and looking forward to more great thought provoking content!
After tuning in week after week I just have to say this is one of the most insightful and informative series on TH-cam right now. It feels like I’m stepping into university discourse but with a modern more introspective twist. Thanks for all the work you’ve put into this and I’m very much looking forward to seeing your continued work in this area.
It's important to note, that more times than not we are objects of projection irl as well. So many ppl change their names so others don't associate them with the stereotypes, ppl have treated me differently positively and negatively because they were projecting so much on me. I think we all do it. Hence the phrase: I don't know why but I just dont like him... It's the curse of living in a global village. When we find ppl that look like ppl that bullied us we just don't like them...
Thank you for continuing this series. They're a great insight into the reality of growing up in that environment. And im sorry for what you went through because of it. You are definitely part of my childhood but I'd never stalk you, that's horrible behavior.
Thank you for your beautiful insights!!
I hope this starts a new reality for the children of Hollywood.
Such a great series! I have loved listening every week. It would be great to have some psychologists on to talk about what happens in the brain and their suggestions
Hi Alyson, is it possible to interview athletes since they are so similar to dancers? Especially athletes that are children of famous athletes? The situation is very similar. I’m very sad because more than one athlete ended up in jail because he surrounded himself with yes people. The stalkers can be yes people. It’s extremely stressful, and sometimes the police say “you put yourself out there” if the stalked person legitimately calls for help
What about actors like Melissa Joan Hart and Mayim Bialik? A variety of child/adult actors would be a great way to get different insights and how their experiences pertain to the topics discussed in your series.
I clicked on this so fast 😅
There are so many different directions a round table can go, and I hope you do mutltiple ones! I'd love to see something directed towards traditional fame vs social media fame. I would hope it could shed light on continuing to make changes toward the future.
Holding an influential figure, whether they became famous overnight or throughout a career, to your own subjective standard of a "positive role model" is impractical and removes your responsibility for critical thinking. When celebrities are not our version of a positive role model we still have the autonomy to decide what we and our children consume. We also have to ask ourselves: what is a positive role model? In my opinion, the power and influence generated from witnessing a celebrity make a mistake, take accountability, and make reparations is far more impactful than an inauthentic vague reputation.
This is fascinating. Fame is very peculiar and sounds scary, but so many people want it.
Been on a Dear Hollywood marathon! Just in time for the season finale 😊 I love this educational series and I’m glad there will be a second season! It’ll be interesting to hear more about what it’s like in the industry and learning more about the dangers of said industry (and how Alyson is surviving through it all)
Jeanette McCurdy, Alexa Nikolas, Miley Cyrus, the Olsen twins, Hilary Duff, the Spouse twins, Jennifer Stone, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Macaulay Cuklin, Drew Barrymore, Britney Spears are all people I think of that would be AMAZING to bring on as guests as long as they're willing and speak personally and honestly.
Great job on every show and season. I didn't know there was going to be a season 2! So excited!
Omg I want that round table of different Nick & Disney Stars discussing things
you are amazing, Alyson!
For guests/topics next season it would be interesting to hear about how typecasting affects child actors. Maybe you could bring in guests who were typecasted as villains to see how that played a role in the pipeline.
i love this series so much! I don't want it to finish pleaaaaaaase 😅
I feel that every human, famous or not, has a responsibility of being a role model, but celebrity have this responsibility on a much larger scale and can make a much larger impact
agreed. a public platform is such a great opportunity... and yet can be so detrimental...😮
woaw, thank you for your work, this podcast is amazing
i’m listening to it entirely during a white night at my art school working alone from france
you’re reaching people, you’re making the difference and thank you for using your platform that way, thank you for the grow you have done and the care you give to yourself and people surrounding yourself, it’s making a difference
💗
Alyson is just casually tossing out some parts therapy at us
I would LOVE to see Raven & Alexa Nikolas in season 2!
Also, I think stars CAN be role models, but they don't HAVE to. We shouldn't expect that much from any 1 person unless they decide to take on that role themselves, and even then, people change, so we have to be understanding if that changes for them.
I love this! It's such a good deep dive into this world! Thank you for sharing your story!
I have heard that too regarding stalkers who thought they were married or related to the person. A girl I used to hang out in high school constantly thinks she is related to some famous star. Luckily, it never got out of control and never lead to stalking. She has been struggling with mental health for many years.
Surprisingly insightful and articulate. You are very thoughtful and well-spoken.
These are amazing! Looking forward to the last episode.
Refered to this site from a New York Times article . Amazing !
Where did such Psychological insight and observation come from ? Took me years and I'm still struggling to get to this level . Keep up the good work you are definitely on the right road ...
Hooray for S2!❤
I would love to hear from someone like Bella Thorne next season!!
Great episode alyson, hands down.
I really feel bad for any child star that had to deal with being stalked especially at such a young age i remember hearing about what danielle harris and emma Watson went through
This has been incredible! I have been watching each week but I am also excited to binge through the whole season a second time when its all been released!!
I am excited for a season 2 as well!! I think it would be cool to dig deeper with everyones experience including yours. But of course that is up to you.
I think it would be really cool to have Miley Cyrus on the podcast, as well as Selena Gomez, Demi, the Jonas Brothers and Jojo Siwa would be a good one as well.
I know there are so many more that it would be so cool to see them dig deep into their journey as well.
As an older cousin to many - the only positive thing i can model, teach, encourage more of - is for the younglings to keep exploring the world, their identities and beliefs further till the end
As for parasocial relations of their projection on me, pedestals, golden and dark shadows etc …. - and how i do that with others -- the hedgehog effect is real, even if I’m living with someone, i think it’s part of my job daily to actively focus my attention on loving and be grateful for what’s there
Like programming into myself that “this is thing is so great that i think there’s something more to come out of it” - as my signal to appreciate it for what it is and maybe bring it to others, and that’s about it….
I have loved listening to this podcast...and I cant wait to see who you bring on to season 2...I like the disney and nickelodon stars idea.
This is sooooo productive and needed. Thank u 💓
I’ve seen every episode, so good keep up the great work
Hey Alyson, as you were mention “the mask” reminded me how my psychologist mentioned this while describing mental health.i don’t recall exactly what you said, but you mentioned something that made me realize I had experience “the mask” but with my mental health experiences.
In some way is the best way I can make it make sense 😂
But as you said towards the end I wouldn’t wish this kind of thing on a child. I’m sorry you and your fellow co-stars have experience this. It’s not right. A child should just worry to be a child nothing else. It’s heart breaking to imagine children going through this.
while im not a child actor i def grew up with your show, and find this beginning message very helpful for my own mental problems , im at the point where i think child acting should be illegal but that aint happening so trying to improve it is better than nothing
I genuinely recommended checking the interviews where Becky G talks about working to provide for her family at a young age in the performing industry. Even if you can't have her on the show you'll love to hear her point of view. Also as she's latin american and mixed race she would have an amayzing insight on the topic as in latin american at times families are expecting their children to help parents get some necessities covered.
Thrusting such great responsibility onto children is such a wildly inappropriate thing for adults to do. YES these child celebrities are responsible for their fans and that's exactly the problem.
Happy Holidays, Alyson!
Your last point about role models…I really don’t know what to make of that impulse if I may be honest . For one, whether we like it or not, child stars do have an enormous amount of influence on their public, but at the same time they themselves are kids who are just as fallible as the kids that they purport to inspire . My intuition though is that it is wrong. No kid should be held up to those standards. But then, I have to ask… how can we even change course now since the train -sort of speak-has long left the station?
alyson, you are so bright & articulate! do you have bachelors degree in communication?
pleeease ask demi if she’d like to be on. i’d love to hear more of her perspective
thank you
I know the Olsen Twins don't do social media, but I would love to hear from them I know they struggled being the in the public eye and I think that's a voice I would like to hear from.
You ask good questions!
I think that if a child says they want to be a star the parent should say ok but you’ll have to set an example for all the people younger than you because they’ll put you on a pedestal if you’re famous.
I was about to say that I’m confused why any parent would choose this life, without their child asking for it but i just remembered my mum signed me up to stagecoach and stagecoach agency to boost my confidence when I was 7 which it did for a little while. I’m not sure if it was the industry that wrecked my confidence or all the other things that were going on in my life at the time. Maybe a bit of both because it definitely didn’t help my body confidence but it did and still does motivate me to look after my teeth.
I would love to hear from Hilary Duff!
A child's first role model should be their parents.
It's crazy that grown adults will get mad at celebs for not setting a good example when that is YOUR JOB as a PARENT to be that for your children. It's not the world's job to set anything for anyone besides the people who brought you into this world and sometimes the community of people who are apart of that tribe.
Btw, excited for season 2! Season 1 was an eye opener, thanks for sharing your thoughts, experiences, knowledge and vulnerabilities! ❤
Yes this. Also, parents should be reminding children that the people they see in movies etc are not real. In that, yes, the person is playing the role. Even if it's a role as a youtuber. But like.. that's not THEM. and they have no responsibility to live some perfect life just because they are famous.
What we should expect of kids is very little, perhaps simply working and doing their best to perform. In terms of virtues, they're still developing that and kids shouldn't have the burden of being a role model. Adults should be a role model and have virtues which will help kids they interact with also inherit those virtues. To expect kids to be more than the adults surrounding them is unreasonable.
Hey there Alyson, thanks so much for doing this. I’ve enjoyed season one, and not to be forward, but what’s the season two release date 😉? Regarding potential guests for season two, I’d LOVE to see you in conversation with Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice and/or Demi Lovato (#LatinaTrinity). Would this be possible?
Princess Diana wasn’t a child when she became internationally famous, but she was nineteen going on twenty. Do you think that the discussion around fame also applies to her to an extent even though she wasn’t a child star?
Great video
Commenting for the algorithm:)
i need these to be a minimum of 3 hours per episode pls
I can’t wait to see more🫶