The glare in my glasses is super annoying! I forgot to close my laptop when I was recording. Sorry. I'll try not to make that same mistake again. I'm sure I'll make other, new mistakes though! Thanks for watching.
I loved the quality of this video. Noticed the glare, but only temporarily and even then it wasn't a problem. The production values are great - and the content is even better! Thank you!
@@chartreuse1641 Good Q. Well it all depends on what they've said exactly. But typically I would try to move the conversation forward. I might do any of the following: - Thank them - Empathise - provide a point a view - Provide a constructive challenge - Be more curious / follow up with questions - Connect what they've said to something else I know about them Etc etc
@@Richualistik Depends on tone of voice and associated body talk. If the words are spoken in a genuine way, no problem. If it sounds like “How’s THAT working for you?” then of course it’s not a serious question.
Found your channel recently as I noticed that I was having issues in my communication in work, relationships, etc. I was told that I need to work on my communication skills and more specifically learning to be an active listener so that I can then learn how to respond and how to provide validation.
As an English learner and who needs to improve her communication skills, expand her vocabulary in every aspect. You’re videos are so helpful! ❤️ Thank you so much.
Tell me your journey. I'm also a english learner. I'm good in writing but bad at speaking fluently. Communication is below average. I have presentation coming up and still dk what to do. I've never held mic before. How do you come up with words?
In some conversations, I feel that I’ve articulated enough to make a clear and concise point. In turn, I don’t expect my listeners to misunderstand it. As it turns out they actually misunderstand it. In response I get stock while attempting to rephrase my point. For example, a few of my former classmates prepared for a mid-term exam with me. One of’em took the initiative of discussing two political revolutions, which took place in Russia in the 20th century - the February and October revolution. As soon as the classmate finished talking about the February revolution, that individual didn’t immediately talk about the October one. So I kindly reminded them in one sentence to talk about the latter revolution. Here’s the sentence I used: we’ve covered the February revolution, but now let’s cover the October revolution In response, the classmate started at me before asking me “what do you mean”. I couldn’t find a way to rephrase the sentence What should I do when I have a hard time rephrasing my points and I feel that I've articulated'em enough?
This is a common problem in meetings. Based on your description of what happened, it seems like he might not have gotten the feedback he needed from what he just said. It might have helped to comment on some of his points, ask a question or two, compliment his work, then ask if anyone else had anything to add, and if they'd like to move on to the next topic. If you didn't acknowledge his efforts in a meaningful way, he may have felt that you were dismissing him altogether, and became offended or embarrassed. To rephrase your request would be tough in the moment. But it might help to remember the other person always wants acknowledgement. So perhaps a way to extricate yourself is to compliment or comment on what they just said, for example: "I mean, that was fantastic- you really know this stuff. You got us from A-Z on that one. Great job-thank you!
I find people easily attach rejection or judgement to pain or situations that go amiss. My first response is to try to be a companion in the moment with them. I might say. Wow that sounds overwhelming. I don't know what I would do. Something that reassures their value as a person, seperate from the situation.
Thank you so much for sharing your expertise on communication. I’ve been binge watching all of your videos ! I have a friend who responds to me with, « Cool » and it makes me think she’s 100% not interested in what I’ve just said… One to avoid !
Thank you for these videos. Super helpful. I speak 5 languages and just realized that there are certain words I use to enter each language or I guess to engage my phrasal lexicon for a particular language 😅 I concur that learning phrases in any language helps convey a concept when stuck on knowing exactly what to say. Learning other languages also helps build or diversify ones own bank of terms. Spanish=por supuesto/ándale pues/entonces French=d’accord/qu’est qui ce passe?/donc German=Uberhaupt nicht/na wieso?/schön Italian=allora/ci sono/va bene/quindi/capito English=Ya/ok, let me see.../first and foremost
On the contrary - being an empath you speak out of feeling for the other which actually is a big deal; whereas "small talk" is using empty words, talking but saying nothing. In your inability for small-talk you are truly human.
Mike Tyson; “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face “. Thinking on your feet with high emotion is a special feat. Cool under pressure. Not always easy.
If someone mentions the death of a loved one, the only appropriate response is to say you're sorry to hear, and then to appreciate how difficult it would be to lose a loved one, and ask or hope that they're doing okay. It's just one of those things where acceptable responses are very limited.
I try to reflect back the emotion that I'm hearing from the person- i.e., I hear that you're very frustrated... It actually helps me to empathize better with the person I'm speaking to.
Awesome work, extremely well made and to the point! I guess this may serve as useful words in encouraging situations and thus as my contribution to stock phrases, sincere as they are nonetheless.
He is a communication coach but after watching this entire video, I still don’t know what to say in certain situation. Basically this video is his own advertisement to his other videos.
He’s giving you ways to find the specific information you need. Much better than attempting to supply the exact phrase you want, because how would he be able to do that, realistically?
Here's what I got: the point wasn't to give you an exhaustive list in 10 minutes. The goal was to change perspective and how we approach learning communication. We can learn and practice phrases for specific situation. Awkward at funnerals and weddings? Go and learn and mimic other people's phrases. Not good at de-escalating conflict? There's definitelly a set of universal sentences that help communicate exactly what you usually need. Being intentional and attentive in learning the phrases is the key idea. Not being scared of sounding unnatural is part of it as well.
How about ' It is what it is...'? Or calling absolutely EVERYTHING --"Amazing"? The "F" word seems to be the only way some people can express anything in our culture, too. Thank you for attempting to expand expression to a more advanced and specific level!
Thesaurus, can even be used while on computer, on-the-fly. 'Amazing' synonyms: awesome, incredible, marvelous, prodigious, fascinating, surprising (to name but a few). Interesting fact about the F-bomb: the less you use it, the more power it has. My dad only uses it once every 2-3 years when he's outraged or passionate about a subject. The first nanosecond after he says it is dead quiet. The second nanosecond is when everybody scatters, instantly remembering something they need to do somewhere else right now. He's never lifted a finger to any of us, but we're not gonna risk a first time--we just gooone.
There isn’t a complete dictionary of the human phrasal lexicon. But you can look at googles n-gram tool to see common sequences of words, and you can get books of idioms and common phrases.
The glare in my glasses is super annoying! I forgot to close my laptop when I was recording. Sorry. I'll try not to make that same mistake again. I'm sure I'll make other, new mistakes though! Thanks for watching.
I loved the quality of this video. Noticed the glare, but only temporarily and even then it wasn't a problem. The production values are great - and the content is even better! Thank you!
I was thinking the same thing, but it doesn't detract from the quality video
No problm sir
Little tough on yourself Bruce, looks great- authentic 😉
Yeah that was silly of me.
As a consultant/coach, I often rely on "Let me 'playback' what I've heard you say, so you can tell me if I've understood you correctly."
This is an excellent technique. I'm going to steal it!
What do you say then after the confirmation?
@@chartreuse1641 Good Q. Well it all depends on what they've said exactly. But typically I would try to move the conversation forward. I might do any of the following:
- Thank them
- Empathise
- provide a point a view
- Provide a constructive challenge
- Be more curious / follow up with questions
- Connect what they've said to something else I know about them
Etc etc
@@cable6169 thank you. this helps a lot
@@chartreuse1641 no problem. Sorry i wasn't ignoring you. Cable616 is my other YT account! 😅
I often use doctor Phil's phrase, "how's that working for you?" It really lives up the conversation.
I have used it but it sometimes comes across as being sarcastic, lol.
@@Pwrcritter it does
Condescending
@@Richualistik Depends on tone of voice and associated body talk. If the words are spoken in a genuine way, no problem. If it sounds like “How’s THAT working for you?” then of course it’s not a serious question.
@@richarddrozd1201 I believe it's within the context he uses it. He would have to re-phrase it for it not to sound condescending.
Now 3 years after you posted, I discovered this channel and what you said is exactly what I need!
Found your channel recently as I noticed that I was having issues in my communication in work, relationships, etc. I was told that I need to work on my communication skills and more specifically learning to be an active listener so that I can then learn how to respond and how to provide validation.
This channel is underrated
Thank you. Please share it with your friends on social media
It should have a million viewers. ⭐
@@vilmabock478 I agree!!
As an English learner and who needs to improve her communication skills, expand her vocabulary in every aspect. You’re videos are so helpful! ❤️ Thank you so much.
Tell me your journey. I'm also a english learner. I'm good in writing but bad at speaking fluently. Communication is below average. I have presentation coming up and still dk what to do. I've never held mic before. How do you come up with words?
lol, fantastic video. I must say, I never really took much note of the glare until you mentioned it :)
In some conversations, I feel that I’ve articulated enough to make a clear and concise point. In turn, I don’t expect my listeners to misunderstand it. As it turns out they actually misunderstand it. In response I get stock while attempting to rephrase my point.
For example, a few of my former classmates prepared for a mid-term exam with me. One of’em took the initiative of discussing two political revolutions, which took place in Russia in the 20th century - the February and October revolution. As soon as the classmate finished talking about the February revolution, that individual didn’t immediately talk about the October one. So I kindly reminded them in one sentence to talk about the latter revolution. Here’s the sentence I used: we’ve covered the February revolution, but now let’s cover the October revolution
In response, the classmate started at me before asking me “what do you mean”.
I couldn’t find a way to rephrase the sentence
What should I do when I have a hard time rephrasing my points and I feel that I've articulated'em enough?
I mean i think u were pretty clear
Your partner had a brain fart is all, you just gotta give him time to remember what was next on the presentation even if you literally told him
This is a common problem in meetings. Based on your description of what happened, it seems like he might not have gotten the feedback he needed from what he just said. It might have helped to comment on some of his points, ask a question or two, compliment his work, then ask if anyone else had anything to add, and if they'd like to move on to the next topic. If you didn't acknowledge his efforts in a meaningful way, he may have felt that you were dismissing him altogether, and became offended or embarrassed. To rephrase your request would be tough in the moment. But it might help to remember the other person always wants acknowledgement. So perhaps a way to extricate yourself is to compliment or comment on what they just said, for example: "I mean, that was fantastic- you really know this stuff. You got us from A-Z on that one. Great job-thank you!
I find people easily attach rejection or judgement to pain or situations that go amiss. My first response is to try to be a companion in the moment with them. I might say. Wow that sounds overwhelming. I don't know what I would do. Something that reassures their value as a person, seperate from the situation.
Thank you so much for sharing your expertise on communication. I’ve been binge watching all of your videos ! I have a friend who responds to me with, « Cool » and it makes me think she’s 100% not interested in what I’ve just said… One to avoid !
Thank you for these videos. Super helpful. I speak 5 languages and just realized that there are certain words I use to enter each language or I guess to engage my phrasal lexicon for a particular language 😅 I concur that learning phrases in any language helps convey a concept when stuck on knowing exactly what to say. Learning other languages also helps build or diversify ones own bank of terms.
Spanish=por supuesto/ándale pues/entonces
French=d’accord/qu’est qui ce passe?/donc
German=Uberhaupt nicht/na wieso?/schön
Italian=allora/ci sono/va bene/quindi/capito
English=Ya/ok, let me see.../first and foremost
You said you will start the conversation by listing some of the phrases you often use, but you didn't list them in your video or in the comments...?
I've noticed that a lot of the videos promise insight, but then don't give the punchlines.
I know. What the heck?
I am so good being empathic, but when it comes to small talk... It's as though I forget how to be human lol
On the contrary - being an empath you speak out of feeling for the other which actually is a big deal; whereas "small talk" is using empty words, talking but saying nothing. In your inability for small-talk you are truly human.
How about a talk with the topic of small talk for people on the spectrum. Why small talk is relevant and how to navigate it.
Mike Tyson; “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face “. Thinking on your feet with high emotion is a special feat. Cool under pressure. Not always easy.
I love this so much. I've never heard this before but its 100% true.
If someone mentions the death of a loved one, the only appropriate response is to say you're sorry to hear, and then to appreciate how difficult it would be to lose a loved one, and ask or hope that they're doing okay. It's just one of those things where acceptable responses are very limited.
I try to reflect back the emotion that I'm hearing from the person- i.e., I hear that you're very frustrated... It actually helps me to empathize better with the person I'm speaking to.
Please coninue making these videos. I also suggest a full course for a certain topic kind of thing.
My nephew hates small talk and won't acknowledge u if u use it, lol. Would like to see an episode on avoiding it.
Take Care & God Bless! Thank you for the info it is very helpful. It was nice talking with you, we should get together sometime.
I love how your face changes when you raise your eyebrows. Would gmail suggest this?
Awesome work, extremely well made and to the point! I guess this may serve as useful words in encouraging situations and thus as my contribution to stock phrases, sincere as they are nonetheless.
Stock phrase that seems almost like magic - “what was your understanding of…”
Thanks man! Your a great help!
This isn’t a very good one but I find myself saying “that’s true” a lot in conversations
So do I.
It shows your listening at least
Thanks for sharing your story with me
Also, what camera are you using here.. do you remember? Quality is great.
Panasonic GH5.
@@HowCommunicationWorks Thank you.
Is there published, an exhaustive and annotated phrasal lexicon for English?
No. Unfortunately not. It would always be changing. You can get books on idioms though.
Thank you for making these videos, thank you so much.
He is a communication coach but after watching this entire video, I still don’t know what to say in certain situation. Basically this video is his own advertisement to his other videos.
yup. Stopped watching 4mins in.
He’s giving you ways to find the specific information you need. Much better than attempting to supply the exact phrase you want, because how would he be able to do that, realistically?
That’s exactly what I thought!
Thought I was da only one 🙏🏽
Here's what I got: the point wasn't to give you an exhaustive list in 10 minutes. The goal was to change perspective and how we approach learning communication. We can learn and practice phrases for specific situation. Awkward at funnerals and weddings? Go and learn and mimic other people's phrases. Not good at de-escalating conflict? There's definitelly a set of universal sentences that help communicate exactly what you usually need. Being intentional and attentive in learning the phrases is the key idea. Not being scared of sounding unnatural is part of it as well.
“Damn that’s crazy”
Brilliant Information , thank you.
That’s really helpful.
Idk why but it's going to be okay is my favorite
This was good. I like that you were so detailed, and your examples were good too!
"long story short" makes a break and prepares the listener to what is really important
Its a darn shame we can't just tell the truth without other people getting offended.
My condolences from family and friends passing
Thank you so much.
Love this....
How about ' It is what it is...'? Or calling absolutely EVERYTHING --"Amazing"? The "F" word seems to be the only way some people can express anything in our culture, too. Thank you for attempting to expand expression to a more advanced and specific level!
Thesaurus, can even be used while on computer, on-the-fly. 'Amazing' synonyms: awesome, incredible, marvelous, prodigious, fascinating, surprising (to name but a few). Interesting fact about the F-bomb: the less you use it, the more power it has. My dad only uses it once every 2-3 years when he's outraged or passionate about a subject. The first nanosecond after he says it is dead quiet. The second nanosecond is when everybody scatters, instantly remembering something they need to do somewhere else right now. He's never lifted a finger to any of us, but we're not gonna risk a first time--we just gooone.
That makes sense
People love to learn, they just don’t like being taught. (Outside of institutions of learning). “ getting schooled”.
Where can I find this social communication lexicon? I can’t find in at Google
There isn’t a complete dictionary of the human phrasal lexicon. But you can look at googles n-gram tool to see common sequences of words, and you can get books of idioms and common phrases.
Stock phrase- 'it depends'
Awesome
thanks sir+
Okk
You look like stanley tucci
You’re not the first one to tell me that.
really not the case gmail is crap for that unless you are an Americam robot
T