Stop Blaming Your Stupid Money Choices On Your Special Needs Daughter!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 เม.ย. 2023
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Applauding Dave for this; I've met many parents using the special need child as a free pass.
Everyone has problems, from the richest to the poorest, its easy to judge others without being in their shoes...goes for everyone...
oh pls Americans use anything to go in debt. anything
@@clarifyingquestions Whats an American? lol America is literally the entire world combined...
@@cutlerylover No, it's not.
@@cutleryloverno tf it isn't and I live in America 😂😂
HUGE round of applause for Dave calling her out. She definitely needed that
Its ok to make mistakes but if your worried about your special needs daughter and money why did you buy solar panels for 20+k???
Because she is also blinded by wokeness and thought installing them would save the world from global warming. Stupidity all around with leftist and emotional women.
Repeal the 19th! It is the only solution
As someone's special needs daughter I am so glad to hear Dave call er out for blaming their daughter for their bad money choices, their kid was not invited to take part in the decision making process and is not responsible for her parents irresponsibility.
right I have a daughter with special needs and um we save, budget, and make a smart choice. Anything that's not life and death, we didn't buy. Glad we are in a better place now financially
@@MyFunSizeBudget that sounds wonderful, thanks for doing right b your daughter
The old mean Dave came back….I miss this version of the show. I needed the mean Dave when I was going through my debt free journey
it's not tough love, it's love
They are living way over their heads. The special needs daughter has nothing to do with choosing bad financial decisions.
Exactly. I understand moving into a better district but if her daughter is in school, she can work part time during the school year to at least bring a few bucks in. Also I would just sell the other house and put that money in an account to help the daughter in the future.
Their main house is insane too. $600k mortgage on $130k income is terrifying
House is almost 1M that’s just the remainder on the mortgage. No idea how they’re eating. Similar income and my 400k house is at a comfortable level. Double payment and I’d be homeless in a year
That's California
It's really not that bad. My mortgage is nearly the same and I make less than him. Just live within your means, don't eat out, and don't take out car debt.
@@1bntcr001 I suppose interest rate and other life circumstances are a big factor. Their mortgage would be $5k a month at today's rates, but under $3.5k if they bought or refinanced a couple years ago. Huge difference.
The main house itself isn't what puts them in a sticky situation. It's the other debts that they have to pay off (while paying for the house) that is going to kill them.
How is it that this house has been in the family so long and it's not paid off by now???
Cash out refinance.
Special needs daughter sounded like a sympathy card the amount of times she said it
It is…experienced it with in-law‘s family…
As a special needs parent myself, Dave is absolutely right. I've seen so many parents use their special needs child as a crutch to justify making bad decisions but then are the first ones to complain about their situation...
Dave is right about the mom using the special needs daughter as the basis of her decisions. Great job showing her the error of her ways.
Error of her ways..... kind of ironic lol
@@LetTheHateRainOverU You can blame Google Voice typing 🤣
@@bignew7136 Hahaha. I couldn't help myself.
They are gonna to be surprised when they find out the house isn’t worth what Zillow says lol
They put a pool in to make the house “liveable” 🙄
My daughter has special needs when we brought our house we took in consideration of her needs but it’s our responsibility too take care of her.
Income way too low for those homes.
The ugliest house for $975K?? 😅
😂😂😂 riiigghhhttt
Dave smacked her right down! Love him
20 grand in debt for solar power... come on
That's low....alot spending 80k+ for that
@@tristan2332 crazy..
@@tristan2332 Why are you spending that much?
@grlmgor I'm not others I know report prices like that. When we get the solar solicitors at door tell them to get loss.
You mean get lost not get loss
Fixer uppers are for contractors to flip, not to move in and hire the help. Imagine if they just bought a turn key for $40K more, instead of spending $80K on fixes?.
One of my best friends family buy houses live in it for 2-5 years depending on work, they’re worth multimillions from this. It really just depends on the work and how willing I you are to adapt.
@@guyrose2350 exactly, everyone's circumstances are a little different and it all depends on how much you are willing to adapt
Adapting to make it functional is not the same as also updating and making it beautiful. Did these people do the minimum necessary? We don’t know.
@@genxx2724 "We bought the ugliest house on the nicest street". I guarantee their school district serves a wider radius than one high end neighborhood.
Yes he was tough on her but Dave hears every day people with special needs kids acting like math doesn't apply to them.
You're not the only one with difficulties ma'am. Being in difficult situations is all the more reason the be financially responsible.
One of the best videos on here. It is so important to not make excuses for bad behavior. This lady basically put the entire bad house purchase on their daughter. Dave let it rip and it needed to be said.
As someone who has family members and has cared for people with special needs (ASD, Down syndrome, Dementia, wheelchairs, bathing assistance, etc) Yes, sometimes a person needs to be in a school catchment area to receive an adaptive education and also a house occasionally needs adjustments to make the property accessible. Depending on the needs of the family member, the price of those renos can vary drastically.
This is a very tough situation for a parent/caregiver to be in and I sympathize for this family.
You and I can both sympathize with the parents but they could have done this better without getting in all this debt and should not justify it by saying they had to do it for her. That baby will grow up blaming themselves if the mom keeps talking like this.
Sorry that doesn’t justify buying a 600k house. There are special needs kids in 300k to 400k houses that are doing great! Special needs is NOT permission for debt when it’s not an emergency
@@shachede6828 I never once heard her say they were having trouble paying the mortgage
I agree. That 100k loan could easily be way more if they had to pay for private special-needs school. I have to disagree with Dave on this one. The caller should do a side hassle between taking care of her child and Mom. Throwing whatever she can at the debt.
I was expecting you rip the mom for blaming her special needs daughter for HER dumb decisions. It sounds like you’re condoning her scapegoating 🤨
Talking softly and sweetly to Dave doesn't work....not today, silly girl. 😂😂
Thank you uncle Ramsey and let her know the truth. Stop blaming your daughter for your choices. But she and her husband need to be on the same page
Dave's words are always spot on.
Always?
Got to sometimes take a step back to see if you truly agree, at times.
In what way did this caller blame her special needs daughter for any choices they made? The only thing they could have arguably done "better" was finance the repairs and renovations of an older house they bought to make their home on their primary mortgage rather than a second mortgage, and while the move to a new neighborhood was based on their daughter's needs they weren't blamecasting.
By mentioning it multiple times. Clearly looking for attention. It is SOP for parents of the drastically over diagnosed "special needs"
Only a generation ago special-needs meant the kid was drooling, had the mind of a two-year-old and needed life long care. Now it encompasses nearly every little tik parents makeup!
They bought a million dollar house with a hundred thousand dollar income. For their special needs daughter.
@@johannesswillery7855 they didn’t blame her for that and it wasn’t a million dollars
@@reese85 It was WAY more than they could afford.
@@johannesswillery7855 I didn’t hear her complain once about mortgage payments just the $200k debt they had
Had to watch this one to make sure it wasnt my parents calling in...
😂😂😂. If both my parents weren’t already passed, I would have sworn it was my mom.
I initially read the headline as, "Stop Blaming Your Money Choices on Your Stupid Daughter." 😂
So were buying a home for 600k that needs 100k in work does that even make sense?
When it's worth over 1.5 now yes haha stay broke everyone
Never be emotional with financial decisions
Ouch😬. Truth hurts, even when it's from a place of love.
Correction: Truth hurts, ESPECIALLY when it's from a place of love.
Truth, yes, but There was no love shown by Dave Ramsey.
They’re drowing in mortgage debt with a $130k income. How do these people pay their normal monthly bills??? Sell the stupid family home. Think of your own family’s future and let go of that old family home. Or sell your newer house, go live in the family home and drive the daughter to school, even if it’s far, if that’s school is worth it. The lady is not working, so she has the ability to do that since she’s taking care of her mom. Plus if the husband wants to generate income by using the grandpas house as a rental, there too much emotion involved and he will flip his lid when (not if) the renters mess it up.
Totally agree. If I was the husband I would let that old house go, who cares, my kid comes first. I dont get how they sleep at night with all those monthly payments and 130k income wont do it.
I think the part I missed is why not sell the million dollar house and live in the grand fathers house? I believe that iteration gets them out of debt completely right? Did I miss that the grandfathers house is located too far away?
I haven't watched the video yet, but as a mom to a child with a disability, I am always so conflicted about how much to spend on my child. We were on babystep 3b, but used half of our house fund on treatment.
I want to do anything I can to help him feel better, but I don't know if I can keep spending money on things that may or may not help.
I want to be able to say I tried everything, but I also don't want to rent forever.
Good job Mr Ramsey
Keep up the good work!
That was so gross thanks for keeping it real Dave omg
I have a special needs son and I rent a home bc I can't afford a house.. I don't want to get in dept just bc my son..
WOW she not only blamed her daughter for why they “had” to move but also said she then had to lose income and start working from home because of her daughter… well what was the point of even moving to the better school district for your daughter if you’re a stay at home mom and she’s not going to school???? Weird woman all around.
I am about to be in this exact situation so don’t judge. The County told us we have to move into a better school district because no one will accept her as a transfer because she will be too expensive (so we are looking at tripling our mortgage payment). They also said not to go back to work because a daycare would treat her poorly (I actually have been calling daycares anyway and no one will take her). So I will probably be quitting my job too.
@@vchafab ppl are silly in these comments! Judging this women about choices her family had to make for their special needs kid
@@vchafab best of luck to you
no, she said it was primarily about taking care of her infirm mother in law, (On top of her daughters already demanding needs)
@@vchafab Sorry about the situation your in. Dave is wrong on this, we have to do what’s best for our children and families.
oh noes my special needs daughter made my decisionmaking special as well!
Dave feeling a little extra abrasive today
Abrasive or abusive?
Preach!
👍 ..tell it how it is Dave.
Stop blaming your kids for your stupid money choices, period.
Amen, David,👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
It's kind of savage that she gets to stay at home and take care of her mother whilst he works plus needs to sell his mother's house.
Yup I hate that if we struggling as a wife your not the only one that’s gonna be working but she did say she has a mom with cancer the special needs daughter is no excuse she can go to school and or daycare
I'm just saying that longterm him selling his birthhouse would be something he would resent. If I were his wife, I wouldn't want him to. It doesn't sit fair with me.
"It needed a pool." OMG
Dave had to give her a verbal spanking. Stop using that baby for a reason to get into debt. A 600k mortgage, an extra home, a HELOC, she isnt working etc. It's not that baby's fault!
Dave bringing the fire. That’s what made the show great
Proud of you Dave. It's hard to be that blunt.
Easier than being kind and compassionate.
@@rossmcgreg6r642 Getting patted on the bottom for poor choices is why they are in the mess.
Very well said Dave! Thank you for pointing it out. She needed to hear that.
I identify as a carrot and sometimes i go into my garden and dig a hole and wait around for no reason
This is funny 😂
My vegetable
Where do you live? I'm a rabbit.
They made bad decisions and so did Grandpa. Now they can’t keep the ancestral home. Guess it wasn’t really a priority.
She's used to using the special needs child thing for pass in CA, then called TN....
Actually, I would sell the more expensive house. 115K is not sufficient income for a $600K mortgage in my opinion, especially with other medical financial pressures. I know they want a better school district, but with the savings from the $600K mortgage they can put their daughter through private school, and if the wife is not working she can drive the daughter there if they are too far for school transportation.
@@Austenfan177 Yep. No concept of the effects of short term financial decisions on long term financial outcomes forget, or her daughter.
Ramsey right
Not that there aren't things that the daughter needs but I'm glad they've called out the fact that she kept over and over dropping the special needs card throughout the conversation.
Unfortunately I think this woman is used to having people hear that and then immediately no longer question anything that comes after.
You don't get a pass on doing a budget and a pass on math, for any reason.
It's also just wrong to blame the daughter because you're taking all responsibility off yourself carte blanche style and casting it on an innocent party.
Imagine how much easier their life would have been if they just rented in the good school district instead of buying...
Exactly! You can only imagine cuz your not in there situation
@@reese85 We can all imagine how much better their life would have been if they'd rented instead of buying a broken down house and then on top of that spending a small fortune to try to get it fixed up. So RobGoldy is right.
@@Sheryl777 no I can’t imagine that cuz I’m not in their situation! I don’t know the challenges of raising a special needs kid and if you don’t as well! You shouldn’t judge
@@reese85 Many of us here try to use common sense too, although there are a few (won't name names) who don't ever seem to do that.
@@Sheryl777 yeah yeah shut up! Again idk these we don’t these ppl situation or what kind of special needs the kid has to judge these ppl! You love to look down on these callers a lot and prob worst off in real life
Excellent job, Dave! ❤
Keep the family house with history...sell the 600k one. Live in older family home.
150K income does not match with a million-dollar house.
Sell the house in foreclosure before the bank takes it back.
It is just a house and what is more important?
You can tell right away when Dave Ramsey's doesn't like someone. He's Kurt he's turns he's demanding with his questions
Damn, straight up roasted
I would be interested to know the specifics of her daughter’s “special needs”. I hear far too many parents use this term. In fairness, some special needs truly take a full time person to manage, but many use the term to justify their actions and entitlement when the situation truly isn’t as serious as the term “special needs” implies.
I couldn't agree more. So many people love throwing that term around to justify their irresponsible actions or to garner sympathy but they end up looking very classless.
Her husband says it's because of their daughter, but he knows if they divorce, he's got a house she can't touch. He's not selling it.
It seems the databrokers knows to sell the data to marketers and companies. The more you make money, the more you get enticed to purchase expenses. I have a friend like this, the husband makes six figures easily under six months under contract to design a building. The amount expenses they have is incredible, new Tesla, new solar panels, expensive Rubicon, luxury sports car, huge house, three storey house, new expensive Italian made coffee maker, etc. It's stagerring the amount Americans live extremely.
He shouldn’t sell anything that family property. He’s the provider, hopefully he leads
I sell both houses and rent in the school district. He made big mistake, buying grandpas house. If does sell the home there will be relatives asking for a share also if grandpa is in a nursing home they get there money first. Regardless what you paid
Sell both houses and buy a more modest home. It's not forever. Just until they're out of debt.
Holes have no accountability.
Disappointed you didn't say they had too much house in the 600k house, only making 115k. Should sell both and put their kid in a private school if the schools are that bad.
Is it possible he doesn’t want to sell the house because he’d be able to keep it in a divorce? Not sure how that would work in California because he had it before they were married possibly?? If that’s the case I’d never sell it. Just my opinion.
The 20 grand on solar should pay for its self in 20 years.
Wow, that was the mean Dave coming out. Doesn't look like his partner there liked all of that answer.
How much is the rental cash flowing? This could/should be part of their income.
I was thinking the same thing.
Probably not much as rentals only cashflow very little. Maybe a few hundred a month but that s generally not cash flow as you will more than likely have to use it at some point on the rental.
That is a common sense question that should have been asked.
@@jimmymcgill6778 300k equity. Annual free cashflow might be 1-2% if they’re lucky. Would not change the decision.
@@HumidorsandHumbuckers with that much equity, they could’ve refinanced during the money printing and have a very low mortgage on $300k outstanding with rental tying to a $600k property.
I’m just here for the comments
Excuses and confusion. Does the $130k income INCLUDE the rental income, or no? What’s it generating? This advice is useless without that information. If it’s generating good income it is FOOLISH to get rid of it.
The answer to that question also changes if they can even afford their existing house. If they only have $130k, they simply can’t afford their $600k house, they can only afford it if they have $130k, AND the other house is paying for itself plus a sizable profit. Otherwise, you’re selling the existing house.
1k income, everyone's Comments are hilarious stay poor everyone 🤣
So was this blaming or them justifying what hey did?
Oh! 😮
Not specifically criticizing these parents, but if you haven’t mentally prepared for the possibility of a disabled (disabled is not a dirty word) child, you are not ready to plan for kids (I live in
the real world where not every kid is planned and that’s ok).
I am disabled, I am in school to be an occupational therapist to work with other disabled people because of the difference it made in my own life.
If this man truly believes his daughter is going to develop into someone who is disabled (there is very little chance that whatever this child has going on is just going away) but is academically/financially capable he NEEDS to get/stay out of debt and save for the future. Their daughter is likely to need to enroll in a college support program which will cost more money then typical college even at an in-state public school. She is more likely to have a range of health issues, start saving for that.
This is the reality of disabled people even if they are “high” functioning.
Thank you for speaking the truth. I would have been A LOT more “higher functioning” if my parents had spent more on therapy for themselves than they did on the BS “home improvements” they did to supposedly help me.
Sell both house pay all debt all rent for two years then buy a big coop
Sell both houses and live in apt for a year and you’re debt free
Bad advice. Sell the new house
I guess im lucky, my spec needs daughter (disabled) doesnt seem to cost me anything extra. Most states have medicaid for disabled kids regardless of income, do pretty much anything medical is covered by insurance then medicaid. What else is there?
P.s. your daughter doesnt need solar panels 😂
All of my treatments and surgeries were paid for by the Shriners. But, if you had looked at my parents’ tax return, you would have thought I cost them millions.
If she says she is a caretaker for her mother and daughter it means she’s getting paid from Medicaid! Trust me I know you can get paid as a caretaker even if it is a family member, I know people that have done it. A wheelchair ramp is all you need for a young child in a wheelchair. Not a whole house Reno. Excuses…
Her husband makes too much to be getting paid. At least that is what our County told us.
Not necessarily. It depends on your income and the kind of disability the daughter has.
she said the renovation's where for pealing paint and flaking plaster but didn't mention medical equipment or ramps which makes me think the renovations where more for beautifying the house than because of her daughters special needs. She also said the moved houses to get into a better school, which could be a special needs school or it could just be a regular school with better funding. To me it sounds like uses her daughter as a reason to get things she would have wanted anyway even if she had a healthy child.
@@Margatatials They also got a loan for solar which is not need but 20K for solar is way overprice unless it has a battery.
@@grlmgor Yep nothing to do with her daughters actual needs but still uses her as an excuse
Agree with Dave don’t blame your child for your mistakes.
They didn’t have to buy a house in that better district for their daughter to go their. An Inter district transfer should’ve been easy imo because of the special needs. Should be easy to show that the district didn’t have the capacity to serve their child.
In my town there’s a particular public school, in the wealthiest neighborhood, that does a great job with special needs kids. As a result, people from elsewhere in the country move here, to that neighborhood. (Burdening our school district more instead of improving their own). Not just the district; they need that neighborhood.
I have a dog named Bianca.
Of course he wants to keep "his house" so if there's a divorce he doesn't lose his equity. Smart man. "My daughter" notice that. "I was working". I think I see what's going on. Guarantee this guy wants her to go back to work when it's time the family member cancer situation and the daughter is in school.
I like how you observed from her language that she is not going through these challenges together with her husband.
We really don't know all the details, but she did tactfully reduce the whole situation to selling the house verses living with gazelle intensity.
They still have a huge mortgage, if they don't live on a budget, selling the house won't save them.
Exactly. He wants him to use his premarital asset to pay off the marital debt.
@@Austenfan177 She may also not be "knowingly" doing this a lot of these people are like conmen the first person they con is themselves. The convince and look for excuses to justify their behavior and actions.
They aren't going to sell the house.
@@Austenfan177
CA is a community property State.
He is making payments on his rental, owing $350K.
He is comingling family money, his premarital asset may not be his, now.
How do you owe $350K on an old Family home?
@@Austenfan177 written on screen, San Diego CA
It's wonderful how everyone jumps the shit talking train without all the Information 🤣🤣. No info was asked on how much rent profit 1k) nor how much each house is worth. Comical
✝️🙏
He had that house before her I’ll sell her before house
This woman just stated that she's a cartaker to both her disabled child as well as her mother. She shouldn't have been talked to this way.
My thoughts exactly!
Waaaaaa 🚑🚑
Hold one second let me call the wambulance
I agree, both are really crippling responsibilities and the second house isn’t hers to sell. The heloc was a poor decision but i’ve heard much worse on this show. My prayers are going out to this caller.
Totally agree.
W Ramsey
Shes getting on my nerves 😂
If the daughter has mobility issues then those cracks in the concrete definitely need to be repaired.
For 100 k tho?
@@physicianskitchen yeah that's excessive, but all that handicap stuff is expensive. Could have been other things involved like ramps, special equipment, needed repairs, etc 🤷♂️
@@physicianskitchen
I used to volunteer for an organization that did things like this free of charge for,elderly,handicapped,etc..
Would be very interesting to see list of special needs projects and how necessary they were.
Don't sell the rental. He never even said how much profit he is making on it.
In my experience, rental property never provides a big profit. Too many expenses, renter hassles, etc.
@@jodylarson4697 Stop using that as a strawman argument.
Which means he probably ISN'T making a profit on it, King of Strawmen.
@@amireallythatgrumpy6508 Dave never asked. So you don't know how much he is making.
@@jimmymcgill6778 If he was making a profit he would have volunteered that information
I was a “Special Needs” daughter. My father blew through all his investment income and died broke from buying toys and time-shares but, blamed it on me all the time. I’m calling BS. People who use euphemisms live in continual denial. You have a disabled child and live irresponsible lives.
ANOTHER... Women with 80k in Student loan debt..... and DOESN'T.....WORK!!!!....... blaming her "Special Needs" Daughter...and sick...Mother.... she's.... Caring..for...I agree with Dave!....B1
Big T, I took care of my sister when she was dying from cancer and was in hospice when she was here in our home , and let me tell you, you do not get enough sleep by far when you are totally responsible for taking care of another human being like that. I know for a fact, having been in that situation, that there would hardly be enough energy left over for your own self, much less having a job. But those who may not have been through something like that would have no idea and make dumb comments like you did.
Are you joking?! As if caring for a mother with cancer and looking after a special needs daughter isn’t work! And what high flying work do you do? One that doesn’t need you to have a decent grasp of grammar or any emotional intelligence I assume. Vile human.
Math doesn't care. Instead of saying "special needs" say Natalia.