As an autistic person who is constantly misunderstood, I really needed this video. I am not ashamed of my autism, nor should I be. It’s more than it being bad or good. However…I do have social issues. I want to connect with people but it’s so difficult. I’m hoping this helps me! There are people I met who I really want to connect with.
i have adhd and autism i have learned to just say hi how are you rather than make small talk. because people are to intrested in themselves and dont want to talk about things that dont concern them. and people dont want to talk to people if they dont want to talk to them
I have a friend like that, where it only seems like I can hang out on their terms (at their place, or at a restaurant of their choosing). At least she offers to pay for it, but it's tough when I invite her to my place and she's non-committal about it, or I try bringing up another activity for us to do and she just says "maybe." Instead of letting myself get stressed over it or confront her about it, I'll just let her be and have other people to hang out with.
It sounds like she has control issues. If she can't control her environment, she probably gets super anxious and is somehow ashamed of it. That's what it sounds like.
I have an associate like that she likes to invite everybody to her house and she just likes to go clubbing in her neighborhood. I don’t play that game.
I have a friend like the second question. I not sure, but after years, it feels to me that that is her way of just always needing her way. I only think this because that is also how she is with conversation... Unfortunately I had to distance myself. Not because she didn't want to do anything I suggested... But only because I started to just feel like a prop in her world... It's hard to explain
I used to work with someone that all she ever talked about to me is about herself and her family. I knew EVERYTHING about her- where she was born, all her past jobs, her past relationships, her siblings,etc and etc. This person I can honestly say did not know anything more about me than my name. To be honest after several months of her talking my ear off about herself and her life it gets to the point that It gets old. I know she wasn't doing this deliberately, i just believe she wanted someone to hear about herself.
lol yeah found that also in last job. my record was a lady spoke about her life for 2 hours no joke. not 1 question did she ask me back. gets tiring thou, when do you stop listening?
Dont think so lol. ive learned to practice active listening but my god some people are so unaware of them selves like i could never just ramble on about myself and not ask the other person anything. its highly bloody rude. i voluntered at an old folks home and same situation listened to woman for 90 mins a week talk about herself. at the end she would ask if i had any plans for week ahead... no matter what i said she would say sounds good and go back to talking about herself. DRAINING
Hi Marie ! It always makes my day seeing you uploading again. I really hope you can talk about this or help me out a bit, as it's not something that common. So I've been working in a company for nearly 4 years, remotely. A year ago, everyone came back to office, and I, as a special case only have to go twice a week. I thought that it was perfect, the best of both worlds as I get to live the office life and some freedom on the side. My issue is, by only attending 2 times a week instead of seeing my team everyday, I can't help but feel very left out. The inside jokes, the camaraderie between them, how they help each other out and talk..It's just very different. I get that it makes sense, it's a price to pay from my side, but I was hoping maybe for some advice on maybe how to make it hurt less, especially that there's a friend that I really want to get closer to at work, and being in my situation, it's way harder, and it hurts more when I see how he bonded way better with the others and like them way more.
I know this might not be what you expect to hear, but I think it is good to be on the peripheral, and not really “in” the group. I know you feel left out, but because you are not in the thick of it all, you also stay above the fray, meaning you are less likely to get caught up in the drama, back-stabbing, etc that goes on in some work places. Even though it sounds like yours is cohesive and positive environment, that could change at any point. I am of the belief that you want to keep co-workers at arm’s length,…not to say you can’t have fun with them when you are around, but by seeing them only twice a week, to me, you do get the best of both worlds, and get to stay out of any drama that might develop.
@@mariedubuque Thank you so much Marie, you're a blessing to us I swear. It's actually exactly what I needed to hear. I completely agree with you, and started to notice since then some small red flags in the group that, like you mentioned, can get serious at any point. The thing is there's that one friend in this group that I'm trying to get closer to, I kind of don't really care about befriending the others in the group. I'm trying to see him separately on weekends and got to hangout a couple of times now, but I can't help but feel sad when I see that his connection with the actual group is way stronger and that probably he likes them way more. And it makes sense since he sees them everyday unlike me.. Any tips on that ?
As a neurodivergent woman, this has been so hard for me. I can connect with people one on one, but its so hard in groups. I find a lot of women are very particular on who they want in their groups and they will always find "something" wrong with you. It can be anything from your behaviour, looks or your emotions. It's actually quite shallow in our world today to connect based on those things because if they change, the friendship dissolves.
Hey Marie I need some advice & you're the perfect person to go to. I have a friend who is also a neighbor of mine. She has a husband who is chronically ill. The past year his health has gotten worse. Everytime I hangout with her she's in a bad mood it seems & constantly complaining about stuff. She just can be very negative & it drains my energy after I'm done hanging out with her. I know she has a lot going on because of her husband. But it's exhausting every time we hangout which is pretty much every week. Not sure how to address this with her. We've already had a couple fall outs over the past month. I mentioned to her that I was worried about her. That her husband negativity is going to rub off on her & she got all defensive. Told her it may be best to put him in a nursing home or have a aid come in. This situation is ruining her mental & physical health. She told me not to worry about her that she's fine. I'm not sure what to do. I kind of want some space from her as I can't handle her negative energy anymore. She did not like the fact I mentioned a nursing home. I miss how she was before her husband's health took a turn a year ago. Feel bad for her. But can't take the stress & unhappiness I'm feeling when I'm around her. Any advice?
I feel for your friend. Caregiving is tough and there is no respite. But I also understand where you are coming from. I would stay supportive of your friend, as you have been, but maybe either limit your time to phone calls or if you get together with her, suggest that she talk about other things in order to help her unwind and get her mind off her husband at home. She also needs to get away from the stress even if it just for an hour lunch. And maybe if you bring up something going on in your life, again it would take her mind off of what is front and center, at least for a little while.
I go through very long periods of time without any interaction with anyone except my wife . It doesn't bother me at all and it's been this way for more than 40 years . Really ...What Im I missing out on . I'm vision impaired so even being in a store I can't see most of the people .
Hey Marie , I really have a question i hope you can answer me . I have 2 friends we always hang out together but i always feel like they’re getting along together and i feel i’m alone and left out while with them they look like they have the same vibe and when i try to talk they don’t listen to what i say so i stay quiet all the time they like me so much and always wants me to be with them and sometimes make things for me but i feel really bad about this behavior, what should i do ?
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As an autistic person who is constantly misunderstood, I really needed this video.
I am not ashamed of my autism, nor should I be. It’s more than it being bad or good. However…I do have social issues. I want to connect with people but it’s so difficult. I’m hoping this helps me! There are people I met who I really want to connect with.
i have adhd and autism i have learned to just say hi how are you rather than make small talk. because people are to intrested in themselves and dont want to talk about things that dont concern them. and people dont want to talk to people if they dont want to talk to them
@@mariewilliams5431 yea, it just sucks. I wish people were more open to talking about other things
Just wanted to let you know I've been checking your older videos lately and they were always straighforward, useful and to the point. Huge thank you.
Beautifully said. Nobody likes a conversationalist who talks endlessly to impress!
I have a friend like that, where it only seems like I can hang out on their terms (at their place, or at a restaurant of their choosing). At least she offers to pay for it, but it's tough when I invite her to my place and she's non-committal about it, or I try bringing up another activity for us to do and she just says "maybe." Instead of letting myself get stressed over it or confront her about it, I'll just let her be and have other people to hang out with.
It sounds like she has control issues. If she can't control her environment, she probably gets super anxious and is somehow ashamed of it. That's what it sounds like.
@@BBFCCO733 you're right, she's even admitted such
I have an associate like that she likes to invite everybody to her house and she just likes to go clubbing in her neighborhood. I don’t play that game.
I love this channel i am a woman with autism its so hard to read the room most of the time , thank you for your help 💜💜
I have a friend like the second question. I not sure, but after years, it feels to me that that is her way of just always needing her way. I only think this because that is also how she is with conversation... Unfortunately I had to distance myself. Not because she didn't want to do anything I suggested... But only because I started to just feel like a prop in her world... It's hard to explain
I used to work with someone that all she ever talked about to me is about herself and her family. I knew EVERYTHING about her- where she was born, all her past jobs, her past relationships, her siblings,etc and etc. This person I can honestly say did not know anything more about me than my name. To be honest after several months of her talking my ear off about herself and her life it gets to the point that It gets old. I know she wasn't doing this deliberately, i just believe she wanted someone to hear about herself.
She found a good listener!
lol yeah found that also in last job. my record was a lady spoke about her life for 2 hours no joke. not 1 question did she ask me back. gets tiring thou, when do you stop listening?
@brendan5419. I wonder if it's the same person me and you both are talking about?
Dont think so lol. ive learned to practice active listening but my god some people are so unaware of them selves like i could never just ramble on about myself and not ask the other person anything. its highly bloody rude. i voluntered at an old folks home and same situation listened to woman for 90 mins a week talk about herself. at the end she would ask if i had any plans for week ahead... no matter what i said she would say sounds good and go back to talking about herself. DRAINING
Hi Marie ! It always makes my day seeing you uploading again.
I really hope you can talk about this or help me out a bit, as it's not something that common.
So I've been working in a company for nearly 4 years, remotely. A year ago, everyone came back to office, and I, as a special case only have to go twice a week. I thought that it was perfect, the best of both worlds as I get to live the office life and some freedom on the side.
My issue is, by only attending 2 times a week instead of seeing my team everyday, I can't help but feel very left out. The inside jokes, the camaraderie between them, how they help each other out and talk..It's just very different.
I get that it makes sense, it's a price to pay from my side, but I was hoping maybe for some advice on maybe how to make it hurt less, especially that there's a friend that I really want to get closer to at work, and being in my situation, it's way harder, and it hurts more when I see how he bonded way better with the others and like them way more.
I know this might not be what you expect to hear, but I think it is good to be on the peripheral, and not really “in” the group. I know you feel left out, but because you are not in the thick of it all, you also stay above the fray, meaning you are less likely to get caught up in the drama, back-stabbing, etc that goes on in some work places. Even though it sounds like yours is cohesive and positive environment, that could change at any point. I am of the belief that you want to keep co-workers at arm’s length,…not to say you can’t have fun with them when you are around, but by seeing them only twice a week, to me, you do get the best of both worlds, and get to stay out of any drama that might develop.
@@mariedubuque Thank you so much Marie, you're a blessing to us I swear. It's actually exactly what I needed to hear.
I completely agree with you, and started to notice since then some small red flags in the group that, like you mentioned, can get serious at any point.
The thing is there's that one friend in this group that I'm trying to get closer to, I kind of don't really care about befriending the others in the group. I'm trying to see him separately on weekends and got to hangout a couple of times now, but I can't help but feel sad when I see that his connection with the actual group is way stronger and that probably he likes them way more. And it makes sense since he sees them everyday unlike me..
Any tips on that ?
Good morning and happy Saturday Marie!! More excellent advice, I love it! Have a great fun and safe weekend. 😊🌹☀😎
As a neurodivergent woman, this has been so hard for me. I can connect with people one on one, but its so hard in groups. I find a lot of women are very particular on who they want in their groups and they will always find "something" wrong with you. It can be anything from your behaviour, looks or your emotions. It's actually quite shallow in our world today to connect based on those things because if they change, the friendship dissolves.
I can’t wait until you hit 100k subscribers, Marie! Been following you from the very beginning.
❤ great video
Hey Marie I need some advice & you're the perfect person to go to. I have a friend who is also a neighbor of mine. She has a husband who is chronically ill. The past year his health has gotten worse. Everytime I hangout with her she's in a bad mood it seems & constantly complaining about stuff. She just can be very negative & it drains my energy after I'm done hanging out with her. I know she has a lot going on because of her husband. But it's exhausting every time we hangout which is pretty much every week. Not sure how to address this with her. We've already had a couple fall outs over the past month. I mentioned to her that I was worried about her. That her husband negativity is going to rub off on her & she got all defensive. Told her it may be best to put him in a nursing home or have a aid come in. This situation is ruining her mental & physical health. She told me not to worry about her that she's fine. I'm not sure what to do. I kind of want some space from her as I can't handle her negative energy anymore. She did not like the fact I mentioned a nursing home. I miss how she was before her husband's health took a turn a year ago. Feel bad for her. But can't take the stress & unhappiness I'm feeling when I'm around her. Any advice?
I feel for your friend. Caregiving is tough and there is no respite. But I also understand where you are coming from. I would stay supportive of your friend, as you have been, but maybe either limit your time to phone calls or if you get together with her, suggest that she talk about other things in order to help her unwind and get her mind off her husband at home. She also needs to get away from the stress even if it just for an hour lunch. And maybe if you bring up something going on in your life, again it would take her mind off of what is front and center, at least for a little while.
I go through very long periods of time without any interaction with anyone except my wife . It doesn't bother me at all and it's been this way for more than 40 years . Really ...What Im I missing out on . I'm vision impaired so even being in a store I can't see most of the people .
Can u make a video of how to deal with emasculation tactics? I'm constantly dealing with this from family and strangers.
Hey Marie , I really have a question i hope you can answer me .
I have 2 friends we always hang out together but i always feel like they’re getting along together and i feel i’m alone and left out while with them they look like they have the same vibe and when i try to talk they don’t listen to what i say so i stay quiet all the time they like me so much and always wants me to be with them and sometimes make things for me but i feel really bad about this behavior, what should i do ?
I really have a hard time
I stull hesitate to ask the questions. I don't want to annoy them. Maybe it is distorted thinking.
Are you available just to talk?