The whole thing of hyperspace tracking just takes me back to Vader: "Calculate all possible destinations along their last known trajectory" Could we not have stuck with that!!?!?
@scottski02 Holy shit you’re right. Like the massives, I just completely forgot she was a thing. She’s in the trailer so it’s not like they forgot her completely but she isn’t in this at all. She’s likely been relegated to a background decoration like Finn, if even that. I doubt JJ was happy about having to write around her, same as how Palpatine has replaced Snoke in his story. Rian really fucked everyone over with this. I literally can’t wait for the book/documentary exposing the behind the scenes ness that this travesty was.
Disney tried pairing their chinese insert diversity hire with Finn the black guy. Naturally china didnt like that, which is why both her AND Finn are shrunken and delisted in chinese posters.
Episode 7: Rey's parents are really important and Rey has a mysterious origin Episode 8: LOL JK they're just nobodies and Rey is just a nobody. Episode 9: LOL JK they're actually really, super duper important and Rey is Palpatine's granddaughter.
My question is who the hell fucked the Emperor? And how the hell came out sane enough to go marry someone to then fuck and pop out Rey?!? I’m more interested in those stories honestly
Agreed, I’m only about 4hrs in but Jay is killing this ep. Reminds me of EFAP 50 pt 2; Jlongbone didn’t talk a lot but every time she spoke it was pure gold.
Can confirm, once a guy walked up to me and said "Hey babe, I love the Last Jedi, I'm so glad Star Wars finally has strong whamen" and next thing you know I'm naked on top of a giant plush porg dancing to the stupid Jabba song from the remastered Return of the Jedi
It's funny how Rise of Skywalker got worse AFTER the leaks. In the leaks, we've got Palpatine killing Ben and Rey killing him. In the final edit Palpatine kills Rey, then Ben resurrects her through force healing (where the fuck did he learn that?), then they kiss (why the fuck?), then Ben dies because... who the fuck knows.
@Marcus Fenix In a game it doesnt need to justify the use of healing since you have control and the game's stakes are not affected. In the movie ıt needs so many caviats conditions to be succesfull or it will just be a major plot hole.
I read that as "Diabetes are gay" Somewhere, Diabeto is crying. Crying sweet, sugary tears. Could Diabeto then drink himself to death? Like how Pizza the Hutt ate himself to death?
When listening to this I was reminded of when Patrick said "do you want like to fly up and destroy all the star destroyers himself?" and now Ray can pull spaceships out of the sky and Palpatine can blow them up with lightning. Luke didn't do it but now everyone else can.
Also if force ghosts can hold a physical lightsaber why didn't they use them to help Ray and where the hell was Yoda in ep6!? Or 5! Just laughing like a man man when Luke lost an arm!? What about Obi Wan? If they make a 10th episode its gonna be like lord of the rings with an army of force ghosts fighting Palpatine when he comes back to life again..
Also also how is Leia not done training when she's dead? How the hell will she continue training if she can't yet be a force ghost? Why haven't they been training the thousands of other fallen Jedi if she can continue training after death
I'm a history major working on their Master thesis... I can tell you that talking about/debating events for longer periods of time than the actual event lasted... not that uncommon.
@@Muck006 I don't want to add to the tism, but if ghost-Yoda hit a living Jake Skywalker with a force-ghost-cane, ain't nothing keeping Han Solo from using his "force-blaster" to shoot first, then double-tap with an energy bolt, (from his force-bowcaster). It's nonsense, but it ain't anything near puppet-Yoda's power-level and with the leaks... As for "stealing", well, if we consider the cane made of force-wood and those physically tangible holo-dices dissipating after a while, oh, also Ma-Reyyy Suuueee...
@@amanibob1416 Just remember: the (rumored) scene of Rey "summoning every Jedi evar" is - more or less - a copy of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire ... when Harry and Voldemort duel and the ghosts come out to assist Harry. Its BORING AF and purely done for "oh look ... shiny flashy lights on the screen" idiots.
yeah, when the (background main character) Aragorn went into an incredibly dark and evil place with a magical sword, fought against a ghost king and won, then promised to release some curse if they helped him. it was one part I really liked
Rey's Powers: -Overcoming mind reading -Force Bending that surpass all characters in the plot -Force Curing -Force Lighting -Light Saber Pro enough to defeat trained Elite Guards -not a Mary Sue
Well there's your problem. One of her powers is not being a Mary Sue! She Maried so much Sue that she isn't even one anymore! Damn those clever Disney Bastards!
MauLer, if you happen to come across this comment, I want to let you know that you have done a great service for people like myself who are aspiring to become a writer. I don't have the money to go to school, nor am I comfortable with the idea of borrowing in order to do so. so instead I've been scouring across the platform trying to learn and absorb as much as I could, but it quickly became hard to differentiate what was actually useful and what was bullshit. But after finally coming across your channel with the Critique of The Last Jedi, not only have you taught me a lot about the basics of writing, but you also armed me with the knowledge to point out the good video essayist from the bad. Overall, you have helped me realize my passion for good writing and I have decided to move forward with attending college in order to further my education on creative writing. If you ever needed or wanted confirmation that your videos are helping anyone, then I stand here as proof of it. So thank you again, MauLer. Truly.
@D.R . Hazardous As a fellow aspiring author, you should totally check out Hello Future Me’s “On Writing” series. It’s literally the best guide for writers online that I’ve ever seen. The detail is really something!
What do you mean, Kylo won plenty of fights! He won against Po in the opening of TFA. Stopped a blaster bolt mid-air with the force and all. Everyone was in awe of his power for like... 1/8th of a movie, before he removed his mask and had a temper tantrum. Also won against Finn in that same movie. Also technically overpowered Rey completely and put her to sleep with the force the first time they met. Also won against Han Solo (yeah okay that one wasn't really a fight.) Also won in tandem with Rey against the worse bodyguards in the universe after he won a mind game battle against Snoke and killed him. Also won against all those computers he kept smashing..... That's about it.
Any fight he won was against an opponent who knew nothing of the force or had any Jedi or Sith abilities, or in Rey's case, hadn't stole the abilities yet. Rey had to save him from Snoke's guards, and Snoke's death certainly wasn't some mind game, it was Snoke being retarded because Rian didn't find him interesting or want to write a backstory for him so he killed him off in the dumbest way possible. When the new villain of the trilogy has only won fights that are the equivalent of a grown man beating up a toddler, he's not intimidating.
Life insurance has never been cheaper. $200 Taurus G2, $30 in ammo, $80 CCW license. For less than $350, you can defend yourself and your loved ones. Learn a skill, folks, it could literally save your life.
I still can't believe that one day, I'm going to have to explain to my kids how a rich company ruined Star Wars movies, and how I saw it all go down...
My hot take: Ouchie is the most overrated character in the sequel trilogy. I’m sorry, I know we have a very strong connection with Ouchie in all their scenes, but I just think Ouchie is overrated as a character. But it’s just my opinion, so don’t @ me!!!
Imagine Sheev falling down the pit, sliding down the walls to a maintenance shaft, jumping down to his private TIE fighter while the Millenium Falcon flies by.
I know Mauler was joking when he said “are you saying Movie Bob isn’t human?” But he’s actually onto something. Malignant narcissists do indeed lack much of what makes someone human. It’s nearly impossible to actually connect with them in any meaningful way.
Idk if I'm part of the problem or justified, but I'm genuinely annoyed about Jenny reacting in the way that she has. You let people be called misogynists for disagreeing with your takes at all, don't hear them out, block them, make false claims about 12 hours of content being all about YOU....and after all that, you wonder how a man could grow to hate women. If no one can disagree with women, without this insane backlash, why would anyone WANT to hear your opinion?
These people who are complaining about it being however long, I don’t think they understand it. Lots of folks, like me, have long hours of very monotonous work and simply enjoy listening to podcasts that match the length of the day. We’re not spending eleven hours or whatever just sitting and watching the stream, we’ve got shit to do. But it makes EFAP makes shitty days and work hours more enjoyable. I admire all the EFAP members who are willing to make podcasts so long for a bunch of crackheads on the internet.
@@NoPowerintheVerse I do utility locating, which is usually pretty mindless and involves a ton of driving. EFAP is a god send. Remarkable Republican is my all time favorite episode
I like listening to these while I game, EFAP and O&A (a comedy radio show from the mid 2000’s) really help the workday go by faster, my favorite is 93 the Cinematic Venom vs LOTR
Weren’t healing powers what anakin sold his soul to the dark side for? Cause he had that vision of padme dying? And Rey just magically has them. Ok JJ.
Not just right and left wing, but FAR right and left wing, at the same time. Granted both extremes of the political spectrum are racist bigoted small-minded dipshits, so its easy to understand how they got it wrong. Obviously EFAP is Center North with a side dish of Pepperoni.
So watching this a year later, it is funny that everyone is saying there is no way the leaked RoTS script is real because it is so disjointed and confused. Surprise, the leaked script was almost exactly what was released.
Help, this this leaked, possibly outdated script is the single best things I have heard from Episode 9 yet, and it makes me want to see the movie, because it sounds like a shitshow. My abs were aching when I was listening to this EFAP.
@@Maltesfilm I imagine because it's a filler episode. Episodes like this one need the length for the deep meta narratives. Those are, in fact, my favorite part.
@Comstar: Space AT&T *Cocks Shotgun* This is Disney’s Star Wars, boy. We don’t take kindly to logic in these here parts. Now get back to watching Rey be a literal goddess.
Just to clarify: It was written that Kylo had a VISION of his father talking to him. Not that his father appears to him as a force ghost. That is a difference. That was just what the crew assumed. But you cant blame them, with how bad the script is. So it might not even be Han Solo himself just an imagination of Kylo which changes his mind... edit: Its just super dumb and lame the more I think about it. I can already imagine all the arguements for why its great. "Kylo was injured and hallucinating" "Kylo was always struggling with the light and dark side" "It makes total sense for his father to appear because he was the one who still believe in him till the end" >_>
@Jimb0 just wait, there will be SOME video essayists out there who will convince themselves this movie is a masterpiece. And then they'll be covered on EFAP, if the Don wills it
MauLer: Snoke’s explanation is going to be a throwaway line or something Me watching this after seeing the film knowing it’s nothing but a passing scene with Snoke’s test tube: hysterical laughter
Watching this in 2023 and hearing Mauler lament how bad 2019 was and asking everyone “what is everyone looking forward to in 2020?” Has me out loud laugh crying.
MauLer is a “pill” all right - a “pill”ar of society, helping us distinguish the script turds from the script brownies when people tell us to just chuck it all in our mouths and chew without question. And Rags? Rags is just a reasonable, sexy doggo! Hi, Rags! And Wolf? Wolf is John McClane - a guy in the wrong place at the wrong time, but will kick the shit out of anyone trying to take our good movies hostage! Keep fighting the good fight against those Jebs, gents!
in relation to that thread that was taken down with that one comment lasting, i can only picture a desolate wasteland, weapons here and there showing signs of an ancient and epic battle, and a lone robed figure sitting in the center, muttering "ah, just as the spiders foretold" before crumbling into dust. that is the planets aligning to give memes tangible power.
Wait if Rey’s parents are the child of the emperor and her parents where killed by a sith loyalist, does that mean the emperor ordered the execution of his own child?
As much as I am expecting this movie to be stupid and surface level as possible, I’m not sure this script is legit. I’ll be shocked if this is real. It sounds TOO stupid
"Shortly after hitting the reactor, still discharging his force lightning, he then exploded into dark side energy, with it encompassing the throne room before eventually falling back down the shaft." Remember that 'Force explosion' in Episode 6 discharging up the shaft, after Creamy fell down it, marking his death? Curious how that came about without him dying.
Rewatching this, when Rags says "Darth Vader didn't even choose to do those heroic things" I can only think "Of course not Rags! Otherwise he'd have been pruned by Kang!"
This movie has the amazing distinction of never having any 2 consecutive seconds go by that maintain any continuity of logic throughout the entire runtime
@@Biggiiful I believe they are currently in the process of transitioning and are currently accepting any pronouns. However, I haven't checked up on that in a while, so don't quote me on it.
The RIP Jay video about killed me. JFC, I'm at work trying to keep my laughter contained and it's not going well. "Yes coworkers, the map I'm drafting is just this bloody delightful." Damn, I love this community.
So essentially the whole point of this new trilogy was to bring back all the old characters fans loved, have them do very little reuniting or anything remotely close to working together in meaningful ways, and then kill and/or character assassinate them to oblivion to make way for shitty new characters that are little more than human memes? I'm not even a fan of the originals and this pisses me off.
On Kylo Ren’s star destroyer, Rey separates from the rest of the group. It’s not Kylo, it’s not the dagger, it’s the bathroom. She sits down on the toilet, and Kylo Ren opens a Skype call. Rey: “hey, could you not? I’m kind of taking a shit” Kylo: “does it hurt?” Frustrated, Rey takes the roll of toilet paper off the handle and chucks it at Kylo. He catches it and inspects it closely. “Triple-ply...with little Darth Vader helmet patterns on it...this is part of my personal collection. She’s in my quarters.” Now panicked, Rey gets up and begins to reach for the flusher when Kylo interrupts her. Kylo: “Wait” Rey stops Kylo: “Don’t flush it.”
Okay so Lando has his child stolen by the first order and he doesn’t like go to Leia and the Republic? Like if I was him I’d be like “these empire wannabes stole my kid. Nuke them.”
So, I was right: the most inconsistent character in Episode 9 will be The Force. By the way, I posted that as a superchat, but I can neither find the part of the stream where MauLer responded to it, nor the part where I posted it. If you know where it appears or where MauLer reads it, please let me know.
I'm sure 90% of them already have been triggered by 40+ other things last week and lost track of EFAP until they cover Lindsay Ellis. May The Don be with us if that ever happens.
@@Bilbosilius_Zwackelbaggins PLZ let them cover ellis, shes such a disingenuous opportunistic blowhard. Jumped on the sarkeesian bandwagon to make a buck and bask in unearned praise. Sad thing is she doesnt seem dumb, just manipulative. She could make good content if she wanted but instead is trying to copy the sarkeesian
Saw a super chat from Literature Devil and didnt know he was a fan of EFAP. Would absolutely love to see him on the show, his takes on comics and his comparisons between what made old comics good stories and what makes new comics terrible ones are some of the best I've seen around. GET HIM ON THE SHOW!!!
I believe the idea behind the Cole protocol was a combination of preventing any single UNSC ship from leading the Covenant back to Earth, as well as minimizing losses in the event that the Covenent actually did follow a ship, because they'd only get one. The Pillar of Autumn (if I recall correctly) was intended to make a Cole protocol jump, but was guided by Cortana to jump to Installation 04 based on coordinates retrieved from the Forerunner archive on Reach. Which... yeah, kicked off the plot of all the Halo games but Reach, and actually ensured humanity's eventual victory in the Human-Covenant War by triggering a series of events that would lead Thel 'Vadamee to become the Arbiter and begin the Great Schism, allying the Sangheili with the UNSC against the rest of the Covenant.
Darth Maul gets cut in half, walls to his death, comes back Darth Sidious/Emperor Palpatine self electrocutes, falls to his death, vaporizes, then double vaporizes, comes back Kylo Ren gets force pushed, falls to his death, and stays dead
Timestamps (Yes everything):
0:00 Rose Action Figures & What Happened to/on Meme Stream
9:34 Most inconsistent character in Episode 9
18:42 Twitter MovieBob
23:04 Twitter Recap/Fallout
53:40 -Wild Boomer Finds TH-cam
1:02:18 >Rags Arrives
1:07:57 -Edited EFAP
1:17:10 -Meme Vid
1:23:38 NoBS, 'MauLer: Known Leftist'
1:37:47 -'Bad Jay'
1:41:16 -NoBS On 'Gay' Things
1:46:30 -Defends Wife
1:53:09 EFAP on IMDb/Predicted Star Wars
2:00:28 SW Leaks(All Spoilers Below)
2:03:05 -Act I
2:22:16 ->Terminator Game
2:24:31 ->Light Springing
2:36:49 ->Palpatines AIDS
2:46:30 ->Force dYaD
2:58:39 ->McMuffins & Bad Setups
3:14:09 ->Another McMuffin, Ochie, & Coincidences
3:23:38 ->>C3PO Can't say the N-Word & the Worm
3:36:15 ->>>Meme
3:41:20 ->Rey does Oopsie, Kills
3:47:47 -Act II:Contacts & Why?
3:54:19 ->Memes
3:55:22 ->'Cool' Lore Kylo Skype calls
4:01:40 ->Children Crew & N-Word Pass
4:18:55 ->lightsaber Battle Through a Skype call
4:21:41 ->>Rey Granddaughter of Creamy Sheev & Hux Gud?
4:29:11 ->ANoThEr McMuffin, Wayfinder in Death Star
4:41:27 ->>Memes
4:44:13 ->Lea, *Dies Kylo, :( Rey: *Stabs & Magic Han Dad
4:56:22 -Act 3:Rey is Told She is SpEcial, Feat Luke
5:12:24 ->>Meme
5:19:41 ->Ben Halps, Patric Willems T-Shirt, Silky Palpatine
5:33:06 ->Ghosts HaLp, Ghost Life4Life
5:42:02 ->Rey Calls Herself Sp3CIAL, End.
5:57:52 Future Movies, Black Widow
6:00:23 Poll
6:04:05 Meme Time
6:27:15 -Jebs
6:39:55 -Jebend(mostly)
6:44:56 -Tone, Don
6:55:11 -3D
7:06:49 -Rag''"''s end & Tone
7:09:52 DasBoSchitt, Jeremy & Ryan leave
(In 15 min increments because I value my sanity, mostly)
7:15:20 Superchat Begins
-Just Write/Ga'hoole/Jay:'Spaceballs bad'/Celibacy Butts
7:30:00 -Fav EFAP/Gaming PC/God is Dead/Fallen Order/Virgin Media
7:45:00 -F,M,K?/Jay/Sonic Trailer/EFAP Cannon/Hacks
8:00:00 -Ian Rand/MovieBob Tweet/SW/Cookie Monster/SpiderMan Boring
8:15:00 -Future EFAP/Furries/EFAP in SW/Buffy Takes/Mandalorian
8:30:00 -Wolfs Inoccence/2Fat2Feel/SW Rey/Sacrifice/Pandora
8:45:00 -MovieBlob/Test/Twilight/Mjölnir/Movie Writing/T & FB
9:00:00 -EFAP Movie/DBZ Abridged/Rah/No Batwoman S2?/Butts/Jenny
9:04:46 >DasBoSchitt Returns
9:06:16 >Jay Kicks Self
9:15:00 -FAPS cut/Porch Atheist/Mandalorian/Knives out/SJW/Milk
9:30:00 -Palpy/Moviebob or Natzie?/Working Hours/Grand Canyon
9:45:00 -Gunranges/Bitcoin Scams/Foreshadow & Twists/SW & Springing
10:00:00 -Palpy has kids, Teleports away/ Titanic/Would U Rather
10:15:00 -EFAP After Ep9/Cats/McMuffins/Hacked/Ochie
10:30:00 -Redemable Villains/Orphans/Moviebob/Sheev/Arrow/Fedexx Debate
10:45:00 -SW Nonsense/Apocalypse Fantasy stories/YT Impulse/Ghosts
11:00:00 -Snoke/Mandalorian Movie/Carrer & Hobbies/SW Disapointment
11:15:00 -SW/Red Dead 2/JJ & TLJ/McMuffin Cortship
11:30:00 -GoT Deeplore/Emulators/Cardgame Update/Efap Actors/DM
11:45:00 -Too many topics
11:53:15 END of Stream
Thank you
Excellent work, friend! Thank you and Don bless!
Longman should pin this.
Holy shit, you’re a saint 🤘🏼
Oh my gosh, you are a hero. **applauds**
Pushed it over ten minutes to get those ads in. Disgusting.
The first ad for me was an entire 50 minute Ben Shapiro episode
@@jebalitabb8228 Does that count as Ben Shapiro being on EFAP?
Punished Bearzerker subjectively yes, the next step is Mauler making EFAP an unskipable ad before a daily wire episode
@@jebalitabb8228 That might be the only thing that gets me to watch that little twerp again.
I hate how EFAP goes over the 10 min limit such incels !
“Longshanks is really committed to our Batwoman reviews.”
YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I AM!!!
(But thanks for noticing me, MauLer-Senpai. ^_^)
Congratulations (you massive n word)
Let us all please clap for King Jeb Longshanks!
Same. I look forward to those EFAP minis every week!
Longshanks is good rat
I remember a time when Longshanks was a peasant like the rest of us. But now he's been named by the EFAP lords... bastard
The emperor survived the explosion in RotJ because his robe was made from batwoman's cape, so he's immune to explosions... Obviously
Sidious is in on that *_Full Body Copper_* action.
Dodo- dodo- dododo- dodo!
His old man skin is infused with Adamantibranitanium! Wrinkles of steel!
Immune without the cape even reaching the ground. "I'm a womaaaaaan!"
I hope Sidious is reintroduced wearing an awful red wig as the new Imperial March ("I'm a womaaaaaaan!") plays.
Finally another episode from my favorite sjw alt right podcast
@Moonlightrouge The Return of the Obscure Right Wing Podcast.
Aren't they leftist alt right sjw misogynists?
@@Alkoluegenial that is the long man way of putting it
I love our straight, bisexual furry, feminist, misogynist hosts!
Smol Gobbo you misogynistic misandrist communist Nazi! I bet you have a bowl hair cut and have said the number 2 more than 10
“E;R has become a swastika.”
Ah yes. His final form.
Wow, another 12 hours of only hating women. “Long man bad” - Jeb Nickleback
"What a bunch of incels."
-Jeblo Jebggins
@Jebalita BattleBush “You will never find a more wretched hive of Leftism and Alt-Rightism.”
- Bigideas.
Long Man?
Ha, he bad.
Racetism
“BattleBush” is a funny name.
In before, "Wow, 12 hours? lmfao, get a hobby you incels."
People insult Jenny but, really, she's the best looking Oblivion character I've ever seen. Really shows the potential of the engine.
Little lies, stunning shows, people buy, money flows!
@@zeche8477 Oh, no lies, love, Jenny really is the best Oblivion character. I've yet to find her quest but she's mighty lifelike, eh?
Yeah up until you reach the point in the quest you need to search for a theme, the engine then hurts itself in its confusion
DrunkShovel She looks more like a lazy meme character from dark souls 3
@@DeAardappel
The quest is pretty fun, but if you spend more than half an hour doing it she starts sending hired thugs after you...
"I'm not going to let a Supreme Leader take credit for an Emperor's work." (cue entry of Darth Sidious in an awful red wig, 'I'm a womaaaaaaan!')
*imagines it*
You... what have you done?!
I’m the senaaaaaate!
Either that song... Or *Without Me*
You good sir deserves a sub for that
Wasn't a wig but his robe was red after the Darksidetisms😂
The whole thing of hyperspace tracking just takes me back to Vader: "Calculate all possible destinations along their last known trajectory"
Could we not have stuck with that!!?!?
No because SUBVERTED, BITCH!
Definitely could've....but that'd require the writers and producers to give a single iota of a shit aboot the franchise.
The tracking through hyperspace could have worked if ya know
Holdo who didn’t tell anyone her plans was actually a first order agent?!?!?
@@ComradeCommissarYuri or if Finn was cleverly a ploy sent to sabatoge the resistance all along...
Clearly you expect these people would watch these movies or even like them. But they don't.
Is nobody else going to point out there was ZERO mention of Rose Tico in those leaks? XD
@scottski02 Holy shit you’re right. Like the massives, I just completely forgot she was a thing.
She’s in the trailer so it’s not like they forgot her completely but she isn’t in this at all.
She’s likely been relegated to a background decoration like Finn, if even that.
I doubt JJ was happy about having to write around her, same as how Palpatine has replaced Snoke in his story.
Rian really fucked everyone over with this.
I literally can’t wait for the book/documentary exposing the behind the scenes ness that this travesty was.
The Doomcock screening leaks mention Rose, Finn, and Poe kind of being with Rey in the beginning, but yeah, they're just window dressing.
Who?
Disney tried pairing their chinese insert diversity hire with Finn the black guy. Naturally china didnt like that, which is why both her AND Finn are shrunken and delisted in chinese posters.
@@nillynush4899 *Vietnamese diversity hire
If I don't see children running around the bridge of a Star Destroyer in oversized imperial uniforms, I'm un ironically going to be pissed.
Same. Long sleeves and oversized hats and all.
@Jimb0 the rando dice had a better story arc than Rey
@Jimb0 Pfft! Showed more emotion, for sure. Like their plight was actually bothersome to them.
That one grain of sand on Jakku had a more compelling story than Rey ever will.
Can’t wait for Broom Boi to stab Admiral Pride in the back with a levitated trowel.
Maulers Long powers have grown to the point where the 12 cap cannot contain him. Truly a terrifying and awesome sight.
My powers have doubled since we last met, Toxic Brood.
He is no longer bound by artificial caps of blockage.
He's going full Dragonball
Palpatine: Hehehe
Kylo: What's so funny?
Palpatine: You wouldn't get it...
"If you knew what it meant" -josilbo andaggins.
Play Kylos theme!
@@shaecouture7480 *Calling All Cars by Senses Fail starts playing*
@@ergoth154 amazing reference.
@Enforcer Who's the character on your profile pic?
Episode 7: Rey's parents are really important and Rey has a mysterious origin
Episode 8: LOL JK they're just nobodies and Rey is just a nobody.
Episode 9: LOL JK they're actually really, super duper important and Rey is Palpatine's granddaughter.
nipa101 at least 343 is self aware. Disney still thinks they’re as good as lucasarts
My question is who the hell fucked the Emperor? And how the hell came out sane enough to go marry someone to then fuck and pop out Rey?!? I’m more interested in those stories honestly
@@loyal-tf-fan Like the life of the estranged child of emperor Palpatine ? Fucking gib me !
Austin Kim rey is palpatines sister
Episode 9 book: lol JK they're all useless clones
"If they like TLJ, they're slaying mad poon." - Jay Exci
I. am. dying.
*chefs kiss**
Agreed, I’m only about 4hrs in but Jay is killing this ep. Reminds me of EFAP 50 pt 2; Jlongbone didn’t talk a lot but every time she spoke it was pure gold.
I like Jay a lot, but this episode was his episode, he was fucking slaying.
Can confirm, once a guy walked up to me and said "Hey babe, I love the Last Jedi, I'm so glad Star Wars finally has strong whamen" and next thing you know I'm naked on top of a giant plush porg dancing to the stupid Jabba song from the remastered Return of the Jedi
If they ever start making EFAP T-Shirts they need to dedicate an entire section to Jay quotes.
It's funny how Rise of Skywalker got worse AFTER the leaks.
In the leaks, we've got Palpatine killing Ben and Rey killing him.
In the final edit Palpatine kills Rey, then Ben resurrects her through force healing (where the fuck did he learn that?), then they kiss (why the fuck?), then Ben dies because... who the fuck knows.
@Marcus Fenix In a game it doesnt need to justify the use of healing since you have control and the game's stakes are not affected. In the movie ıt needs so many caviats conditions to be succesfull or it will just be a major plot hole.
@@mertarican5456
It's amusing to me whoever you replied to got deleted, but your reply is detailed enough we can recreate their bad take
"They were looking for the dagger before they found it!" is my new favorite Jay quote
The Don will be with you. Always.
The Don will lead us to the promise land.
Binary Donset (Don's Theme)
Although I'm leaving
Don Solo died for our sins.
R.E.Z Your PfP is beautiful
"Debates are gay" -NoBullshideas
The arch nemesis of lesbonious.
It's true, I did the debate once, now I like men.
I read that as "Diabetes are gay" Somewhere, Diabeto is crying. Crying sweet, sugary tears.
Could Diabeto then drink himself to death? Like how Pizza the Hutt ate himself to death?
@@SvendleBerries If Bob DOESN'T die by drinking himself to death I'll be shocked.
Why are you talking about Star Wars?
STAR WARS is coming out!!
"Star Wars is gay"
-No Bullbo Baggins
"It's a children about movies intended for space wizards" - Bigideas Wilhems Baggins
"You get to look at womenzez"
- Bigideas Bagbottoms
@@ergoth154 you're watching space wizards intended for children wrong- Patrick Wilhelm's Cream Baggins
When listening to this I was reminded of when Patrick said "do you want like to fly up and destroy all the star destroyers himself?" and now Ray can pull spaceships out of the sky and Palpatine can blow them up with lightning. Luke didn't do it but now everyone else can.
Also if force ghosts can hold a physical lightsaber why didn't they use them to help Ray and where the hell was Yoda in ep6!? Or 5! Just laughing like a man man when Luke lost an arm!? What about Obi Wan? If they make a 10th episode its gonna be like lord of the rings with an army of force ghosts fighting Palpatine when he comes back to life again..
Also also how is Leia not done training when she's dead? How the hell will she continue training if she can't yet be a force ghost? Why haven't they been training the thousands of other fallen Jedi if she can continue training after death
Ma-REY SSUUUEEE - E;R voice
@@ergoth154 I could hear this in my head.
Jenny was just mad she had to get a new Jeb for her head.
I'm thinking of that episode of Rick and Morty with the enlargening machine, only it's powered by a bunch of Jebs on hamster wheels
"Are you sure about that"
ZuluKasuki 👏
@@BbNaB We are born of the Jeb made men by the brood, undone by the brood. Our eyes are yet to open... Fear the old Jebs. By the Gods, fear them, Zulu
the irony of people named jon snow protecting 'MUH QUEEN'
They know nothing.
My pinkies were tickled by irony
**calling them white knights** "I dun want it."
" I don't want it" " I didn't ask for it" "she's my queen" Rinse and repeat and you have a entire seasons dialogue for Jon " I know nothing" Snow.
*squints at your username*
How could you have done this?!
“Oh gawwwwd! Who talks about one woman’s opinion for 12 hoooouuuurs!” - Jeb and the Holograms
Jeb is truly, truly outrageous.
Seriously! Why is every podcast these guys do all about Jenny?
60 LONG ASS PODCASTS, ALL ABOUT ONE WAHMEN
Joan Jeb and the Blackhearts
Jebby and the John Snows
So many of them were named that, they had to defend "muh qween".😂
I'm a history major working on their Master thesis... I can tell you that talking about/debating events for longer periods of time than the actual event lasted... not that uncommon.
These are longer than most PhD defenses
I'd argue it's required
@@clayxros576 I'd argue people are permitted to talk about the 100 years war for shorter than 116 years
@@anaccountforcommenting6651
They're permitted yes, but the discussion on the war still marches on. Far more than 100 years later
Shut up long man, you’re bad so now I don’t have to listen to you
Time to get your Mcmuffins ready for this
McMuffins are gay!
There needs to be McMuffin throwing in the cinema every time a new McGuffin is introduced.
Kylo to Han Solo: "So you're a force ghost now?!"
Han Solo: "Part-time!"
Must be frustrating for him though ... ghosts usually cant steal money and "force pushing" them is going to take a lot of work.
@@Muck006
I don't want to add to the tism, but if ghost-Yoda hit a living Jake Skywalker with a force-ghost-cane, ain't nothing keeping Han Solo from using his "force-blaster" to shoot first, then double-tap with an energy bolt, (from his force-bowcaster). It's nonsense, but it ain't anything near puppet-Yoda's power-level and with the leaks... As for "stealing", well, if we consider the cane made of force-wood and those physically tangible holo-dices dissipating after a while, oh, also Ma-Reyyy Suuueee...
@@amanibob1416 Just remember: the (rumored) scene of Rey "summoning every Jedi evar" is - more or less - a copy of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire ... when Harry and Voldemort duel and the ghosts come out to assist Harry. Its BORING AF and purely done for "oh look ... shiny flashy lights on the screen" idiots.
yeah, when the (background main character) Aragorn went into an incredibly dark and evil place with a magical sword, fought against a ghost king and won, then promised to release some curse if they helped him. it was one part I really liked
@Comstar: Space AT&T yeah. It's kind of interesting how different the ghosts are in LOTR compared to Harry Potter or Star Wars
Rey's Powers:
-Overcoming mind reading
-Force Bending that surpass all characters in the plot
-Force Curing
-Force Lighting
-Light Saber Pro enough to defeat trained Elite Guards
-not a Mary Sue
ArthurEmori half of that she did in under a week
With no training and effort whatsoever.
Well there's your problem. One of her powers is not being a Mary Sue! She Maried so much Sue that she isn't even one anymore! Damn those clever Disney Bastards!
I’m sorry to tell you that she trained ten seconds swinging against a rock, she blinked twice and thought about the force. You sexist massive
Apparating and passing lightsabres from nowhere to others as well.
Ochee: Quick, play my theme!
"Ochee-man, take me by the hand, take me to the land!"
Ochie Ochie baby can't you see, sometimes your words just hypnotize me, and I just love them flashy gays. Oh and by the way: HI RAGS!
MauLer, if you happen to come across this comment, I want to let you know that you have done a great service for people like myself who are aspiring to become a writer. I don't have the money to go to school, nor am I comfortable with the idea of borrowing in order to do so. so instead I've been scouring across the platform trying to learn and absorb as much as I could, but it quickly became hard to differentiate what was actually useful and what was bullshit.
But after finally coming across your channel with the Critique of The Last Jedi, not only have you taught me a lot about the basics of writing, but you also armed me with the knowledge to point out the good video essayist from the bad. Overall, you have helped me realize my passion for good writing and I have decided to move forward with attending college in order to further my education on creative writing.
If you ever needed or wanted confirmation that your videos are helping anyone, then I stand here as proof of it. So thank you again, MauLer. Truly.
@D.R . Hazardous As a fellow aspiring author, you should totally check out Hello Future Me’s “On Writing” series.
It’s literally the best guide for writers online that I’ve ever seen. The detail is really something!
Good luck on your career goals! You're taking a great approach by learning where you're at right now.
Writing is gay
long comment bad
@@ergoth154 writing about writing being gay is gay
I love that if the leaks are true, Kylo doesn't win a single fight in the entire trilogy. How intimidating.
What do you mean, Kylo won plenty of fights! He won against Po in the opening of TFA. Stopped a blaster bolt mid-air with the force and all. Everyone was in awe of his power for like... 1/8th of a movie, before he removed his mask and had a temper tantrum. Also won against Finn in that same movie. Also technically overpowered Rey completely and put her to sleep with the force the first time they met. Also won against Han Solo (yeah okay that one wasn't really a fight.) Also won in tandem with Rey against the worse bodyguards in the universe after he won a mind game battle against Snoke and killed him. Also won against all those computers he kept smashing..... That's about it.
Any fight he won was against an opponent who knew nothing of the force or had any Jedi or Sith abilities, or in Rey's case, hadn't stole the abilities yet. Rey had to save him from Snoke's guards, and Snoke's death certainly wasn't some mind game, it was Snoke being retarded because Rian didn't find him interesting or want to write a backstory for him so he killed him off in the dumbest way possible. When the new villain of the trilogy has only won fights that are the equivalent of a grown man beating up a toddler, he's not intimidating.
@@liwendiamond9223 Can you imagine suddenly stabbing someone in the middle of a conversation and saying "I win"
@@-JaggedGrace- Clearly you haven't watched JoJos if you're asking me that question. And the answer is YES!
@@-JaggedGrace- I mean it is a win, it just isn't a fight.
Finn being Lando's son makes perfect sense, since they are the only 2 black people alive in the galaxy
Yeah what happened to the resistance movements and non-white people? there were black and asian human rebellion pilots in RoTJ!
@@woodwyrm they all died as a result of "human wave" tactics that resistance favors
There was a black rebel pilot in ROTJ. He dies in the attack on the second death star.
@@Biostasis5x7 everyone but lando and wedge did.
Lando is too white. Boyega is too blacc. Wouldn't work
"Jeb Nichols is gay, stop talking about my Jeb" - Nobullshitake
Ah indeed, the famous mushroom TH-camr, Nobull Shitake.
@@JohnSmith-op3qj Also known as Oda Nobullnaga. The mushroom lord who unified cooking recipes.
This aged extremely well.
Unlike 90% of "TLJ is good" videos.
Nice pfp!
Like fine rhino milk
@southwardfaun9008 Even more so four years later! This is *still* one of my 'I'll give it another listen' episodes for me...
The sad moment you realize Robot Chicken wrote better Star Wars than Disney.
So Disney steals from robot chicken. Papa palpatine > ep 9 palpatine
That's because Seth Green actually likes Star Wars
Than*
"Car drive over man with gun"
Seems much easier to just carry your own gun.
Life insurance has never been cheaper. $200 Taurus G2, $30 in ammo, $80 CCW license. For less than $350, you can defend yourself and your loved ones. Learn a skill, folks, it could literally save your life.
@@OutsideTheTargetDemographic *cries in 2022 ammunition and rifle prices*
@@Leotheleprachaun Right. OK, try the reality firearm simulation "Call of Duty". It's cheaper than ammo. 😜
Debates are gay, real alpha men don’t listen to their opponents
real men block you on twitter and hide under their bed.
Is that why Tywin Lannister is the apex homosexual, all that debating
Trajan the Great
Holy shit
@@Neo2266. No Bullshit/Remarkable Republican crossover now!
Real niggas call heresy and shoot you on the face
Did anyone else get headaches from laughing so hard at those leaks?
I fucking died when they thought Rey killed Chewie. What the fuck is this movie
It's like they tried to make it a shitshow, and I love it.
I still can't believe that one day, I'm going to have to explain to my kids how a rich company ruined Star Wars movies, and how I saw it all go down...
Mantha your kids won’t give a single fuck about Star Wars because it’s a dying franchise.
#WeWereThere
@Jimb0 Nah, if you want to be a good parent you need to show them TFA, TLJ, and TROS, and explain why they're bad.
My hot take:
Ouchie is the most overrated character in the sequel trilogy.
I’m sorry, I know we have a very strong connection with Ouchie in all their scenes, but I just think Ouchie is overrated as a character.
But it’s just my opinion, so don’t @ me!!!
@You
How dare you say that about Ouchie your opinion is wrong.
But that is just my opinion.
@scottski02 @ing me is gay, you alt-right leftist.
Your room is dumb and you have to much make up on!
Your opinion has just been DESTROYED by logic!
Hot takes are gay.
Imagine Sheev falling down the pit, sliding down the walls to a maintenance shaft, jumping down to his private TIE fighter while the Millenium Falcon flies by.
If that scene isn't in the movie I'm walking out...of my bedroom where I'm torrenting it
Thats almost what happens in robot chicken 😂
@warystatue33 can someone make this please. I want to see this so badly.
Gooood, let the BS plot flow through you.
@@James-pt2vk I think that RC is basically canon at this point. Except for the 4th quarter conversion to the Light Side.
I know Mauler was joking when he said “are you saying Movie Bob isn’t human?” But he’s actually onto something. Malignant narcissists do indeed lack much of what makes someone human. It’s nearly impossible to actually connect with them in any meaningful way.
What about orphans?
@Comstar: Space AT&T They are broken humans whose only worth is in enhancing the genepool of predatory alien species.
(Blake did nothing wrong)
@@zachgilbert3815 Orphans are pathetic.
The virgin Jeb vs. the Chad Ochie
Blessed Southpaw Jeb is a proud man and would never contribute to something gay like debating
Jebalita BattleBush
Your username is exquisite.
I'm hearing "sad Yochie" whenever I read this comment... *Lol!*
@@jebalitabb8228 that is actually, genuinely, literally, realistically, whole-heartedly your opinion.
The Don is better.
“Debates are gay”, that’s a good quote! 😆
Rewatching this five years after is hilarious. It's amazing how well it aged.
Efap: criticises men for most of its episodes
Twitter: meh
Efap then criticises Jeb's daughter once.
Twitter: *WAIT THATS ILLEGAL*
Idk if I'm part of the problem or justified, but I'm genuinely annoyed about Jenny reacting in the way that she has. You let people be called misogynists for disagreeing with your takes at all, don't hear them out, block them, make false claims about 12 hours of content being all about YOU....and after all that, you wonder how a man could grow to hate women.
If no one can disagree with women, without this insane backlash, why would anyone WANT to hear your opinion?
Go look at her joker review it’s got a lot of new comments recently haha some of them are painful as hell
Movie is gonna be utter garbage but at least we get to see 3PO say the n-word
He is fluent in over 6 million forms of saying the n word
"I am fluent in over six million forms of offending minorities!"
These people who are complaining about it being however long, I don’t think they understand it. Lots of folks, like me, have long hours of very monotonous work and simply enjoy listening to podcasts that match the length of the day. We’re not spending eleven hours or whatever just sitting and watching the stream, we’ve got shit to do. But it makes EFAP makes shitty days and work hours more enjoyable. I admire all the EFAP members who are willing to make podcasts so long for a bunch of crackheads on the internet.
Same, I work 10 hour shift and if you include the time it takes to get to work and home after work these streams are literally a perfect length.
Twitter """activists""" don't get that because they don't work
Can’t listen at work but when I’m doing a craft project I’ll get something like this going and listen on and off while I work.
@@NoPowerintheVerse I do utility locating, which is usually pretty mindless and involves a ton of driving. EFAP is a god send. Remarkable Republican is my all time favorite episode
I like listening to these while I game, EFAP and O&A (a comedy radio show from the mid 2000’s) really help the workday go by faster, my favorite is 93 the Cinematic Venom vs LOTR
That IMDB Page is a masterpiece.
I was curious, its 8.4/10 as of this date
Crazy how I just clicked on the channel in the hopes that this would be up and what do you know - "1 minute ago"
Perfect.
Sheeve Palpatine: *IRONIC*
3:41:45
Maulers reaction to Rey "supposedly" shooting lightning out her hand is the best.
“whhhaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAtttttt?!?!”
Weren’t healing powers what anakin sold his soul to the dark side for? Cause he had that vision of padme dying? And Rey just magically has them. Ok JJ.
The thing was, he didn't even got it. He was tricked.
Imagine having opinions and views so nuanced and well-reasoned that SJWs call you right wing, while anti-SJWs call you left wing.
Not just right and left wing, but FAR right and left wing, at the same time. Granted both extremes of the political spectrum are racist bigoted small-minded dipshits, so its easy to understand how they got it wrong. Obviously EFAP is Center North with a side dish of Pepperoni.
LiwenDiamond Delicious
LiwenDiamond my favorite
EFAP is the Schrödinger’s Podcast
That's what happens when you have a truly neutral stance. You're simultaneously both extremes purely because each side can't comprehend anything less
So watching this a year later, it is funny that everyone is saying there is no way the leaked RoTS script is real because it is so disjointed and confused. Surprise, the leaked script was almost exactly what was released.
Help, this this leaked, possibly outdated script is the single best things I have heard from Episode 9 yet, and it makes me want to see the movie, because it sounds like a shitshow.
My abs were aching when I was listening to this EFAP.
One of the best EFAPs yet.
The middle is my favorite part
@@ergoth154 This is my favorite part
*Arrrguably!*
Whatever, you bunch of alt right leftists.
@@clintthrustmaster Fuck you, man. Stop talking about mah wife!
This plot sounds like a Robot Chicken skit taken seriously.
Khaos Anima ~ Goddess of the Void go for papa palpatine
Francisco Ercoreca What the hells an aluminum falcon?!
were never going to get a less than 10 hour EFAP ever again are we
Don't look like it.
efaps under 10 hours are gay
Remember when EFAPs were averaging at 4 hours?
Our Longman is all grown up😢😭
We still have efap 60 (though it’s not gonna be 60 anymore” that’s only like 5-6 hours
@@Maltesfilm I imagine because it's a filler episode. Episodes like this one need the length for the deep meta narratives. Those are, in fact, my favorite part.
When the Force ghosts of Han Luke and Leia showed up, I was half-convinced this movie is trying to be a self-parody
@Comstar: Space AT&T *Cocks Shotgun*
This is Disney’s Star Wars, boy. We don’t take kindly to logic in these here parts.
Now get back to watching Rey be a literal goddess.
I've just started the fap btw, OH MY DON THEY'RE GOING TO DO THAT?
@@MaliAljek117 Oh believe me, that's not even in the Top Five Tismy things they're pulling. Bite the pillow, it's going in dry
Just to clarify: It was written that Kylo had a VISION of his father talking to him. Not that his father appears to him as a force ghost. That is a difference. That was just what the crew assumed. But you cant blame them, with how bad the script is. So it might not even be Han Solo himself just an imagination of Kylo which changes his mind...
edit: Its just super dumb and lame the more I think about it. I can already imagine all the arguements for why its great. "Kylo was injured and hallucinating" "Kylo was always struggling with the light and dark side" "It makes total sense for his father to appear because he was the one who still believe in him till the end" >_>
@Jimb0 just wait, there will be SOME video essayists out there who will convince themselves this movie is a masterpiece.
And then they'll be covered on EFAP, if the Don wills it
MauLer: Snoke’s explanation is going to be a throwaway line or something
Me watching this after seeing the film knowing it’s nothing but a passing scene with Snoke’s test tube: hysterical laughter
These spoilers broke my Jeb!s... no amount of water or clapping will bring them back. (;_;)
Also: Ochee/Babu Frick spinoff series when?
He Cute
I'm pretty sure Babu is melted along with all the other tiny furries when the Death Star Destroyer destroys the surface of Kajimi.
Go Babu Frick yourself
@@normmcnormalson6952 i don't think you can enforce that
I literally screamed in rage at the end bit where she says her name is Ray Skywalker
I swear if Kylo says “does it hurt” at any point in Rise of Skywalker
"Palpatine's *kids* hid their kid." Mauler, did you just imply that Rey's parents did a Lannister?
Would explain why she can't close her mouth.
@@lordofthepizzapie9319 I just figured she was part fish person.
I love how you joked over the top about rey learning how to fly and the first shot of her training is her flying
The spiders smile upon you
Darth Sidious: "I have been _FALLING_ for 30 YEARS!"
EFAP keeps getting better and better. It is becoming really hard to decided which is my favourite episode.
Watching this in 2023 and hearing Mauler lament how bad 2019 was and asking everyone “what is everyone looking forward to in 2020?” Has me out loud laugh crying.
Han 'becomes' a forceghost
"That's not how the Force works."
multiple people named jon snow defended Jenny, they have to protect their queen
MauLer is a “pill” all right - a “pill”ar of society, helping us distinguish the script turds from the script brownies when people tell us to just chuck it all in our mouths and chew without question. And Rags? Rags is just a reasonable, sexy doggo! Hi, Rags! And Wolf? Wolf is John McClane - a guy in the wrong place at the wrong time, but will kick the shit out of anyone trying to take our good movies hostage! Keep fighting the good fight against those Jebs, gents!
As episode goes on, I have somehow been becoming more and more fond of Jay.
Also kick Jay.
Is it only me or does the fetch quests sounds like the fetch quests in endgame?
#KickJay
this is my favorite efap episode because my reddit comment was the only one that survived and i'm honestly still proud that it did
Just as the spider foretold
Praise the Don, hail the spiders, all are one under Fred.
Praise the Don and the Cosmic Chicken!
You know they are going to sell a toy now and call it "Rey's X-Wing"...
in relation to that thread that was taken down with that one comment lasting, i can only picture a desolate wasteland, weapons here and there showing signs of an ancient and epic battle, and a lone robed figure sitting in the center, muttering "ah, just as the spiders foretold" before crumbling into dust.
that is the planets aligning to give memes tangible power.
Wait if Rey’s parents are the child of the emperor and her parents where killed by a sith loyalist, does that mean the emperor ordered the execution of his own child?
As much as I am expecting this movie to be stupid and surface level as possible, I’m not sure this script is legit. I’ll be shocked if this is real. It sounds TOO stupid
@@TheArsenalgunner28 she's a legit Palpatine sooo.....
@@TheArsenalgunner28 Were your expectations subverted
He IS a red pill alt lefty so...oh yah, also evil...
"Shortly after hitting the reactor, still discharging his force lightning, he then exploded into dark side energy, with it encompassing the throne room before eventually falling back down the shaft."
Remember that 'Force explosion' in Episode 6 discharging up the shaft, after Creamy fell down it, marking his death? Curious how that came about without him dying.
How does Kylo even know ANYTHING about Ray's parents?
Listening to the leaks was like curb stomping any investment left in Star Wars. Kill the past if you have to I guess
It's amusing that Rags wants to see a body to prove the character is dead. And the Obi-One show proves that even a body doesn't mean anything.
Rewatching this, when Rags says "Darth Vader didn't even choose to do those heroic things" I can only think "Of course not Rags! Otherwise he'd have been pruned by Kang!"
"Car drive over man with gun."
I mean, if Jenny wants to die from a hail of gunfire, then sure, go do that...
Maybe she thinks cars are bulletproof?
@Victor Kurske To be fair, she does have a superpower : Super Shit Taste.
This movie has the amazing distinction of never having any 2 consecutive seconds go by that maintain any continuity of logic throughout the entire runtime
Perhaps Snoke was the friends we made along the way this whole time.
Jay: "What if someone they label as a straight white man comes out as trans?"
Jay is a master at foreshadowing.
The spiders foretold it
Is Jay trans? I thought Jay was a he. Then became a she. But then I see Jay still go by "he"?
@@Biggiiful I believe they are currently in the process of transitioning and are currently accepting any pronouns. However, I haven't checked up on that in a while, so don't quote me on it.
@@TheWraithOfMooCow I hope you're wrong. Cause I think Jay's pretty cool. But all this trans nonsense is just embarrassing.
@@akashajones6079 Jay's on HRT rn lmao.
The RIP Jay video about killed me. JFC, I'm at work trying to keep my laughter contained and it's not going well. "Yes coworkers, the map I'm drafting is just this bloody delightful." Damn, I love this community.
So essentially the whole point of this new trilogy was to bring back all the old characters fans loved, have them do very little reuniting or anything remotely close to working together in meaningful ways, and then kill and/or character assassinate them to oblivion to make way for shitty new characters that are little more than human memes? I'm not even a fan of the originals and this pisses me off.
It’s TRUE...ALL OF IT!!! Just as the Spiders foretold, Don Bless! 🙏
On Kylo Ren’s star destroyer, Rey separates from the rest of the group. It’s not Kylo, it’s not the dagger, it’s the bathroom. She sits down on the toilet, and Kylo Ren opens a Skype call.
Rey: “hey, could you not? I’m kind of taking a shit”
Kylo: “does it hurt?”
Frustrated, Rey takes the roll of toilet paper off the handle and chucks it at Kylo. He catches it and inspects it closely.
“Triple-ply...with little Darth Vader helmet patterns on it...this is part of my personal collection. She’s in my quarters.”
Now panicked, Rey gets up and begins to reach for the flusher when Kylo interrupts her.
Kylo: “Wait”
Rey stops
Kylo: “Don’t flush it.”
I wanted it to end like Thriller. Rey is walking away and her head whips around and she has the Sith eyes, with Sheev laughing in the background.
Okay so Lando has his child stolen by the first order and he doesn’t like go to Leia and the Republic? Like if I was him I’d be like “these empire wannabes stole my kid. Nuke them.”
So, I was right: the most inconsistent character in Episode 9 will be The Force.
By the way, I posted that as a superchat, but I can neither find the part of the stream where MauLer responded to it, nor the part where I posted it. If you know where it appears or where MauLer reads it, please let me know.
Watching these EFAP’s after TROS is the best 😂
Prepare your defenses and water your Jebs gentlemen the knights of Jen may make another offensive
I'm sure 90% of them already have been triggered by 40+ other things last week and lost track of EFAP until they cover Lindsay Ellis. May The Don be with us if that ever happens.
@@Bilbosilius_Zwackelbaggins PLZ let them cover ellis, shes such a disingenuous opportunistic blowhard. Jumped on the sarkeesian bandwagon to make a buck and bask in unearned praise. Sad thing is she doesnt seem dumb, just manipulative. She could make good content if she wanted but instead is trying to copy the sarkeesian
Abrams' Batman movie will start with Alfred looking for Batman using the Waynefinder McMuffin
It’s wild listening to this now knowing those leaks were 100% accurate lol
Saw a super chat from Literature Devil and didnt know he was a fan of EFAP. Would absolutely love to see him on the show, his takes on comics and his comparisons between what made old comics good stories and what makes new comics terrible ones are some of the best I've seen around. GET HIM ON THE SHOW!!!
I believe the idea behind the Cole protocol was a combination of preventing any single UNSC ship from leading the Covenant back to Earth, as well as minimizing losses in the event that the Covenent actually did follow a ship, because they'd only get one. The Pillar of Autumn (if I recall correctly) was intended to make a Cole protocol jump, but was guided by Cortana to jump to Installation 04 based on coordinates retrieved from the Forerunner archive on Reach. Which... yeah, kicked off the plot of all the Halo games but Reach, and actually ensured humanity's eventual victory in the Human-Covenant War by triggering a series of events that would lead Thel 'Vadamee to become the Arbiter and begin the Great Schism, allying the Sangheili with the UNSC against the rest of the Covenant.
Darth Maul gets cut in half, walls to his death, comes back
Darth Sidious/Emperor Palpatine self electrocutes, falls to his death, vaporizes, then double vaporizes, comes back
Kylo Ren gets force pushed, falls to his death, and stays dead