Thank you so much for these episodes and podcasts. Working on myself (M43) with a separated/in-house partner (F48) and it has really strengthened my resolve in healthier ways to communicate and, especially as the good doctor has said, trying not to fix things overnight.
I been practicing smart contact and it just gets better and better All the time and I still have a lot more to learn.. thank you for your hard work God bless you Dr Joe and CEO Kimberly. Y'all are hilarious and I like how dads will be dads Dr Joe is a great Father . Best show ever.
Hey Vitalia Schultz, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/ We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
My wife is adamant about divorce, seeing other people, etc...But she keeps in contact with me, almost like we never left off. Joking, sending funny texts, chatting about certain topics...sending gifs....Its just weird for me to navigate, because she is acting like at the least we are friends..Perhaps that is all she thinks this is, but there has to be some connection still there, or she wouldn't be reaching out. She has been asking me to help put stuff up where she is currently staying, wants to go to orchard with me and my son together. I guess its hard to make this all make sense, unless she is just using me or keeping me as the last option.
You and her have been fixtures in one another's lives for some time (you didn't say in the comment above) so it is natural that you and her want to spend time with one another. Also, it is a good sign that she wants to go to events with you and your son, wants your help with things, and wants to talk to you about this or that. There was another video where they addressed the same emotions and issues with someone from New Zealand or Australia; consistency and time is what the good doctor recommended... also I will throw in kindess for yourself. My spouse and I still live together and we have a Mr and Mrs Clause event in the first if Dec we've planned for... you are both so excited to do it together and see all those kids' faces light up as well as those parents. This is but one example of how we are navigating our situation. Just take it one day at a time. Best of luck...
What if wife tells you she wants space/ living together with kid Sometimes when trying to speak with her she say I’m forcing a conversation or her to talk with me
What if it's your spouse who seems to be afraid to contact you directly (I put boundaries because of our legal process and he's getting angry). (we're using kids chat group). How to initiate the contact. Or I should wait till he reaches out.
I've been doing smart contact unknowingly. However, problems are building. Those annoying things are still there and I'm unable to address it. With that, he hates the conversation sticking to business. We aren't connecting. He feels like I'm "not being genuine" in conversations but I am. I'm also not engaging in emotions with him.
What if the only thing my wife wants to talk about, are the dogs? we are in the ending stage of our divorce, something i did not want.. shes very distant. and i just feel like shes truly given up.. i do not want this divorce to happen.. but its inevitable now i feel..
Hi I'm a new watcher on TH-cam, and I'm going through a separation. I've been living at home with my wife and I have a problem not being forthcoming with the problems I have in myself (porn), that I've watched and I know I have a problem with. She still has feelings for me and just doesn't want to have any me in her life at the moment. I am seeking help once again from my addiction that has caused the separation. When we talk she takes over the conversation and scorns me how it's my fault and blames me to the point that I don't talk. I cower like a bad dog, head down and tail tucked. I have been willing to work on things and then I revert back to the porn. Plus I have held back things to tell my wife about what happens at work , from it being a new people hired or the boss wants to take everyone to lunch( I have food allergies,so does my wife). So if I eat something she's allergic to she has a reaction just from me cuddling with her. I've dug a deep pit I can't climb out of. I try to take one day at a time with her but my progress has fallen back. Do y'all have any advice?
@clintbailey8220, Thank you for your comment. The first thing we try to teach people is how to have healthy communication with their spouse to avoid making the situation any worse. One of the main tips is to stop PUSH Behaviors. This is anything you do (or don't do) that tends to push your spouse away from you. We teach you 4 other rules you need to follow to help with this situation in our free e-book! You can download it here if interested! Free Ebook here: bit.ly/3BSuzRo We hope this helps! Just out of curiosity, have you taken advantage of our free mini course? We know times are tough and want to provide as much as we can to you free of charge. That's why we created this free mini course. It will teach you how to get your spouse back and give you a plan moving forward! You can get access to it directly by following this link: your.marriagehelper.com/how-to-get-your-spouse-back-mini-course
Is it okay to tell them you're doing SMART contact? For example, 'I'm going to give you space and I won't constantly bring it up but I want you to know that I still love you, still want to be with you, and am here if you ever change your mind.'?
Interesting question! Generally you want to avoid emotional conversations or things that could be seen as a PUSH behavior. However, I would strongly recommend you watch this video we posted a while back about whether or not you should be intimate when you're separated from your spouse. You might be surprised at the advice we give you! th-cam.com/video/jdVkWGzSA5o/w-d-xo.html
Is it ok to send a text after a conversation or interaction acknowledging that you said something the wrong way or at the wrong time? So that it shows you’re still aware and working on effective communication.
Maybe just learn how to be better. When a strategy doesn’t work, try another. You are not in charge of how the other feels. Choose yourself because you are the only one you can control.
Hey joann guzzo! It sounds like something that could be very helpful to you would be our SMART Contact Toolkit. This will teach you exactly what to do to start rebuilding healthy communication with your spouse! Highly recommend you consider checking it out here: bit.ly/3BkXVpW We truly hope it helps you.
With all due respect, i dnt think u have been through anything severe in a separation cuz this just does not apply to everybody & their circumstances..including mine
Hey Keke! What is it about what we are teaching that you disagree with? We want to help in any way that we can. Dr. Beam was actually divorced from his wife for 3 years before they reconciled their marriage. An affair was involved and they decided to put their marriage back together. SMART Contact is what was developed after going through that experience in order to help other couples avoid the same pitfalls that they went through. Hope this helps you in some way!
Thank you so much for this video. I’m putting this to use now. Smart. It’s the tool I needed to reconnect correctly
Thank you so much for these episodes and podcasts. Working on myself (M43) with a separated/in-house partner (F48) and it has really strengthened my resolve in healthier ways to communicate and, especially as the good doctor has said, trying not to fix things overnight.
I must be SMART because I am doing these things without even realizing it's recommended by experts. 🙏🏽Thank God for wisdom.
Learn EVERYTHING there is to know about SMART Contact by getting our Toolkit 🤩 - only available here:
bit.ly/3tRTnEB
I been practicing smart contact and it just gets better and better All the time and I still have a lot more to learn.. thank you for your hard work God bless you Dr Joe and CEO Kimberly. Y'all are hilarious and I like how dads will be dads Dr Joe is a great Father . Best show ever.
Did you succeed in reconsiliatiom?
this works and we’ve been able to communicate much better
I'm now watching this after so very long thinking it said, "smart contract" instead of "smart contact."
I love this! My husband talk about his kids to me and we tell each other how we feel!
@marriagehelper what happens when you are separated and there are no kids or finances involved. I can't think of any ground/topic of conversation.
I have been watching these videos and they have been very helpful.
I just used SMART Contact just now and it was pretty good.
Who left who? I'm dying.
I love this
Thank you for sharing this with us. I am definitely going to try this. Since nothing is working
Hey Vitalia Schultz, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/
We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
My wife is adamant about divorce, seeing other people, etc...But she keeps in contact with me, almost like we never left off. Joking, sending funny texts, chatting about certain topics...sending gifs....Its just weird for me to navigate, because she is acting like at the least we are friends..Perhaps that is all she thinks this is, but there has to be some connection still there, or she wouldn't be reaching out. She has been asking me to help put stuff up where she is currently staying, wants to go to orchard with me and my son together. I guess its hard to make this all make sense, unless she is just using me or keeping me as the last option.
You and her have been fixtures in one another's lives for some time (you didn't say in the comment above) so it is natural that you and her want to spend time with one another. Also, it is a good sign that she wants to go to events with you and your son, wants your help with things, and wants to talk to you about this or that. There was another video where they addressed the same emotions and issues with someone from New Zealand or Australia; consistency and time is what the good doctor recommended... also I will throw in kindess for yourself. My spouse and I still live together and we have a Mr and Mrs Clause event in the first if Dec we've planned for... you are both so excited to do it together and see all those kids' faces light up as well as those parents. This is but one example of how we are navigating our situation. Just take it one day at a time. Best of luck...
What do you do when you’re separated with kids but have to live together and sleep together?
What if wife tells you she wants space/ living together with kid
Sometimes when trying to speak with her she say I’m forcing a conversation or her to talk with me
What if it's your spouse who seems to be afraid to contact you directly (I put boundaries because of our legal process and he's getting angry). (we're using kids chat group). How to initiate the contact. Or I should wait till he reaches out.
I've been doing smart contact unknowingly. However, problems are building. Those annoying things are still there and I'm unable to address it.
With that, he hates the conversation sticking to business. We aren't connecting. He feels like I'm "not being genuine" in conversations but I am. I'm also not engaging in emotions with him.
What if the only thing my wife wants to talk about, are the dogs? we are in the ending stage of our divorce, something i did not want.. shes very distant. and i just feel like shes truly given up..
i do not want this divorce to happen.. but its inevitable now i feel..
I am avoiding his calls, I just hurt every time we talk. Is that a bad thing? I am only responding to text messages. Please help.
Hi I'm a new watcher on TH-cam, and I'm going through a separation. I've been living at home with my wife and I have a problem not being forthcoming with the problems I have in myself (porn), that I've watched and I know I have a problem with. She still has feelings for me and just doesn't want to have any me in her life at the moment. I am seeking help once again from my addiction that has caused the separation. When we talk she takes over the conversation and scorns me how it's my fault and blames me to the point that I don't talk. I cower like a bad dog, head down and tail tucked. I have been willing to work on things and then I revert back to the porn. Plus I have held back things to tell my wife about what happens at work , from it being a new people hired or the boss wants to take everyone to lunch( I have food allergies,so does my wife). So if I eat something she's allergic to she has a reaction just from me cuddling with her. I've dug a deep pit I can't climb out of. I try to take one day at a time with her but my progress has fallen back. Do y'all have any advice?
@clintbailey8220, Thank you for your comment. The first thing we try to teach people is how to have healthy communication with their spouse to avoid making the situation any worse. One of the main tips is to stop PUSH Behaviors. This is anything you do (or don't do) that tends to push your spouse away from you. We teach you 4 other rules you need to follow to help with this situation in our free e-book! You can download it here if interested!
Free Ebook here:
bit.ly/3BSuzRo
We hope this helps!
Just out of curiosity, have you taken advantage of our free mini course? We know times are tough and want to provide as much as we can to you free of charge. That's why we created this free mini course. It will teach you how to get your spouse back and give you a plan moving forward! You can get access to it directly by following this link:
your.marriagehelper.com/how-to-get-your-spouse-back-mini-course
What should i do? He still has me put his socks on but his b is in the next room everynight doing what they do i my bed!
What happens when you are asking simple house questions and they still don't want to talk to you?
What do I do if my spouse doesn't initiate the conversation?
Is it okay to tell them you're doing SMART contact? For example, 'I'm going to give you space and I won't constantly bring it up but I want you to know that I still love you, still want to be with you, and am here if you ever change your mind.'?
I can't believe you said that 🤭
I can't believe you said that 😡
can sexting be part of smart contact? my spouse does a bit but then goes silent for a few days
:(
Interesting question! Generally you want to avoid emotional conversations or things that could be seen as a PUSH behavior. However, I would strongly recommend you watch this video we posted a while back about whether or not you should be intimate when you're separated from your spouse. You might be surprised at the advice we give you! th-cam.com/video/jdVkWGzSA5o/w-d-xo.html
What if they block you?
Is it ok to send a text after a conversation or interaction acknowledging that you said something the wrong way or at the wrong time? So that it shows you’re still aware and working on effective communication.
No don’t do that
Maybe just learn how to be better. When a strategy doesn’t work, try another. You are not in charge of how the other feels. Choose yourself because you are the only one you can control.
How does smart contact work when your spouse is in mid life crisis and lies about everything ?
Not sure how to start SMART Contact
Hey joann guzzo! It sounds like something that could be very helpful to you would be our SMART Contact Toolkit. This will teach you exactly what to do to start rebuilding healthy communication with your spouse! Highly recommend you consider checking it out here: bit.ly/3BkXVpW
We truly hope it helps you.
With all due respect, i dnt think u have been through anything severe in a separation cuz this just does not apply to everybody & their circumstances..including mine
Hey Keke! What is it about what we are teaching that you disagree with? We want to help in any way that we can. Dr. Beam was actually divorced from his wife for 3 years before they reconciled their marriage. An affair was involved and they decided to put their marriage back together. SMART Contact is what was developed after going through that experience in order to help other couples avoid the same pitfalls that they went through. Hope this helps you in some way!