He kept the home running while you work so how’s he considered lazy? You meant to say that you want a man who contributes financially to your household. Everyone has different wants, needs, and expectations in life. There is nothing wrong with a man being a stay at home dad if it works financially for a family. A man who contributes in any way is better than a man who does nothing but eat and sleep. My husband is a stay at home dad and I have no issues with that since we still have toddlers. I do talk to him constantly about working once our kids are all in school because I want him to be able to support himself if anything ever happens to me. One income is not the best but our bills are getting paid and there’s food on the table. I’d rather have one of us raise our kids instead of paying for daycare. Don’t compare your life to others. Set goals and work together to achieve them. You can’t always run away from your issues.
Agree. My husband and I have 6 kids. He was a stay at home dad for most of the kids' lives. My last baby is now 10 yrs old and my husband just went back to the work force for 5 years now. It was a struggle on one income, but we made it through.
Nah. In order to be a sahp, your significant other needs to make enough money and agree for you to be the caretaker. Sounds like this is your situation. Don't compare yours to hers because she obviously struggled financially throughout her entire life with him and he continued to do this after the kids are grown. Just because you have a stay at home husband does not mean you have to support dead beats... man or woman. If your family is struggling financially and you refuse to work, using every excuse in the book, you're a deadbeat, period!
@@kelbra3689 not comparing my life to hers because I’m thankful that I could provide the financial support for my husband to be a sahd. Her statement of her ex-husband being lazy doesn’t go well with what she made him to be. A lazy person is someone who doesn’t do anything to help out. Yes, he wasn’t working but he handled everything in the home according to her. I’m not referencing to whatever his reasons are for him to never hold a job but it’s clearly on how she determined lazy.
You don't get the point. Her story is different from yours. Yours, you made a choice. Hers, she needed his help but he finds excuses not to help her out.
Calling him lazy is an understatement. He just doesn’t want to work so he stays home and does a great job at being a househusband. I’d get it if he stays home and doesn’t do anything. I think you’re only upset because you’re the only one working and doesn’t appreciate your husband. I know a woman who works 2 jobs and her husband just does all the work at home and takes care of the kids. She’s happy with it. I guess different strokes for different folks.
Wrong. If a woman works 2 jobs, that's because her husband doesn't want to do his part and she has no choice but to fill his shoes. No loving mother wants to work 2 jobs and sacrifice her time with her kids. Anybody that tells you otherwise is hiding their shame that they are married to a man that does not provide for his family.
People who have never had a spouse who doesn't share the same life goals won't understand. If you really listened to this woman's story, her husband only thinks of himself. He doesn't work because he wants to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. These type of people can never hold a job. He cooks costly and delicious meals because HE wants to eat it and not because he's trying to show his wife appreciation (he can show appreciation by budgeting for groceries). Their marriage is only based on his happiness, and he wants his wife to fund his lifestyle.
20 years is a long time wasted with a deadbeat. I guess some women are super patience. I guess I'm too worried about my future and my children to push for better from both myself and my spouse. Glad to have found a spouse who's willing to do the same and make necessary sacrifices for a better future.
@@c.lee-soulisak327 yep because time is precious and a valuable commodity. If she left him 20 years ago, she would've found a better home for her and her children. Glad things work out for her after leaving this deadbeat.
I'm glad that you are in a better place with a new relationship but you sound like a woman who is only worried about herself. You continously praise your new husband but have you even considered your children? Are your children happy? Sometimes in life, not money is everything.
Sis your husband is not lazy. He probably ain’t the working type but if you come to a warming house, foods on the table and kids are all good you shouldn’t be complaining too much. Not everyone is perfect. Like you say “cov kwv yog menyuam laib thiabsi muaj ib txog haujlwm” so do you want a husband that is a “laib” that party every week and running off with his boys as long as he has a job??? Don’t focus too much about money. Money doesn’t buy Love remember that!
Mloog tej zaj neej neeg no ce xav muab yu tej txiv nrauj lm xb thiab os leej twg tau txiv tub nkeeg ce tag yu ib sim neej yeej tsi nrog luag tau noj qab hnav zoo tsi mj vaj muaj tsev zoo nrog luag nyob li os lawv....ca tu siab ua luaj li os....
I don't understand all the women siding with this loser husband. Unless you are physically disabled and cannot work at all, then I understand. There's no excuse for not working. My husband and I married very young and had kids very young, but we both worked separate shifts full-time and still able to raise our kids and get chores done. Why would I need a husband to do house chores when I am able to work full-time, do everything around the house, and take are of my kids. If only 1 spouse works, your life will not go anywhere period! Peb ua neeg nyob xav muaj xwb tsis xav pluag
Plus the future doesn't look too bright for a household like this one. He's a bad example for their kids, not sure why she waited so long. I hope none of her kids pick up their dad bad behavior and think they can just relied on someone else to take care of them. That won't happen in this day and age.
LMFAO, sister, I feel you on many levels, but you and I are very different. You have patience. I, on the other hand, do not. I was once married to a similar man. When we first met, he had a job, but after two months into the relationship, he quit his job. For the next six months, he played job hunting and interviews here and there, but no one was hiring. He would ask me for money to fix his car or for handing out with his family or friends. I would always tell him why would I give you my hard earned money to help you or so you can go out and have fun? I would tell him I have two kids to support, I have a mortgage to pay, and household expenses that don't operate on water or empty. I do not even spend or spurlge on myself? I told him he'll have to get a job and therefore have his own money to do as he pleased. He wanted us to move in together...LMFAO, now that was funny. He has no job, he can not support himself, much less help me, he can't even afford a dinner out unless I pay. I'm not even impressed in the bedroom. Why on God's earth would I want another mouth to feed or have to support and deal with the bullshit and drama, not to mention the stress. Hell, fukn no. I showed him the door really quickly. We all want a partner who will love, support, respect, honor, be loyal, and work together for a better tomorrow and a great relationship in all aspects of life. We craved the intimacy and closeness, but we do not need to sell ourselves short for it.
I find it hilarious that you "feel" the sister in the story yet your own experience is completely different from hers. From your post, your ex-husband actually seem like a real dead-beat that doesnt help you at all but rather live off your money while "going out having fun". In this story, her husband actually takes care of her by cooking and doing all the chores in the house. Please dont try to link your actual deadbeat loser to a guy that isnt hardly one. I supposed since you DO "feel" like this sister, you would much rather have a txiv dev that goes around clapping women while bringing in the money than a "lazy" one. LMFAO
@iNNoCeNttDReAMs I wasn't married to my ex. We dnt live together either. Yes her husband did things around the house all because he doesn't wnt to go get a job and wrk. So he'll rather do some domestic stuff to keep her from complaining. The thing is thr is no right or wrong if their both okay wth their situation. If it's an agreement and they're both happy wth it thts great. There are plenty of men's that are stay at home dad or the domesticated partner. It's a problem whn you hv a lazy partner tht doesn't do anything and expects everything
Yep..20 years is a long time. Mine last 10 1/2 years, I considered that was a long time wasted. Tau tus txiv tub nkeeg thiab tus txiv nyiam tham hluas nkauj ces ntxov tso ntxov dim kev nyuaj siab. Yus nyob yus, yus tsis siv nyiaj los tsis muaj tus nrog yus siv. Yus ntshaw yam twg yus yuav tau, tsis muaj tus cem.
I felt uncomfortable listening to this lady. He sounded like a great husband and stay at home dad. She’s about money and keeping up with the jone’s and reputation. Lady, live for yourself and stop trying to impress the public. New studies are being published about healthy relationships within a family system. You got your lavish lifestyle but your children are suffering.
Yoy missed the whole story lol. He's a sahp wanna be! A liar that dont wanna work. He finds excuses to quit his job. Spent tons of money to make good food when there's only 1 income.
You choose your own battles. Every man comes with a battle, just like us women. He’s not bad, he just doesn’t want to work. But listening to this story it seems that he does things for you. You are comparing your life with other people’s life and that’s where it goes wrong. Don’t compare your life with other’s life, that’s what makes you miserable. If you want to find a man that makes money, he will come with other battles for you. Not sure if you will like those battles.
I agree with you. Men don’t come in a full package. There are sporty men, hunting/fishing men, game men & workaholic men. You name it. Some men are homemakers while some are not. In this lady’s case her husband just wants to be a homemaker while she wants a lavish life that he can’t give her because he’s unwilling to work. They’re just not compatible. But the word lazy doesn’t fit him if he was willing to do all the work at home.
@@kellielee9829 going by your logic, the husband in the story would be compatible with another homemaker which equals living on welfare because they are both not interested in providing for their family. Sorry, we call these people lazy.
The woman shouldn't be blamed for this. She tried her best to provide for the family for years until her children became teenagers. He does not have any excuse to not want to improve their life situation after 11 years. Especially if she has voiced it many times. Their children are growing and will need financial support. Even if this was an opposite situation, if the husband told his wife to find a job for several years, and she didn't, then the result would be the same. Nowadays, there are so many job opportunities for everyone that it shouldn't be just one's responsibility to provide for the entire family. I understand everyone's life situation is different, but if you are available to work and chose not to then that's the end of your career. This is just being a bad role model for the children and lessened their motivations in life.
Its hard to stay with someone when they dont even feel bad that you have to be the only one suffering and working. If you make a very good wage from a good paying job than maybe they can stay home but you dont so they need to understand and get off their butt to go help you work and provide. I dont feel bad for this txiv tsev at all glad you moved on
Thawj tug tsis yog koj tus tav koj maj txhawm txiv yuav lawm xwb , Thaum tau kiag koj tus tav cais txhua yam nws txawj Los nrhiav koj lawd thov Kom muaj hmoo li no mus ob sid nawb sib hlub ov
Girl, you don’t appreciate your man. He is not lazy. He works so hard taking care of the house and the children. I don’t know why you looked down on him just because he doesn’t work at a company. He does everything else at home. If your income is substantial, you don’t need to be so hard on your man. Think of this, if he ain’t got it, you should. You’re a team.
Many men work for their whole life to support their wives and never complain, but when the wives work to support the husbands, they're asking for divorce. This is unfair for men.
Tus me sister aw txhob tsawm zoo zoo siab os mog zoo ntxov zoo rov nawb, koj tus txiv tamsim no zoo zoo ua cas ho yog nraug fav thiab. Xiam tiag tiag aib pog no.
Sim neej no ...yog leej twg tau ib niag txiv Tub nkees es nws nyob ...yus khwv tuag Los nws yeej tsis oaub txaj muag es yuav pab tus poj niam li Mas dhuav siab tshaj plaws li o hmoob aw.. Nrauj tau lawm ces xam tias yus dim lub niag qhov lwj siab lawm o hmoob e
I can understand why she did what she did. It's not so much that she didn't appreciate him, but her love language is different from what he is showing her. Her love language is financial help, his is just acts of service. Although that sounds wonderful to some of us, everyone's love language is different. She tried to express it to him a lot of times and it didn't work. I'm glad she was able to walk out and find her own happiness.
Taking care of children, parents and doing all chores around the house is not "tub nkeeg" it is the hardest job that no one recognize and appreciate. You should be glad and appreciative of him and the abundance around you. Seems like your love is conditional not unconditional. Happiness is not money$$.
Well if women are allowed to be stay-home moms why can't men be stay-home husbands??? Let's not set up double standards here just because it's not the regular norm you'll see every day. It's not like he doesn't do any house chores. He gets the job done at home. 🤷♀️
Lub neej thaum ub tsua nos hais poj Niam tub nkeem xwb cas nub nos yos yog tug Txiv tub nkeem lawm nes. You so lucky and good for you congratulations enjoy your new life.
Ib tug poj niam thaum peb txiv neej tsis xav yuav tsis xav nrog nws ua neej lawm ces kawg tsis xav ua hauj lwm tsis xav tsoob li lawm thiab txhob txwm ua kom nej poj niam dhuav peb es nej tso tes plau thiaj li dim nej xwb tiag mus yuav lub tshiab zoo siab thiab huv siab dua Amem
He’s like my younger brother. Every time you ask him to go find a job he say he already found a job just waiting for a call but week after week no work. You found him a job he said the pay is not enough he found one that is better pay but week after week no work lol. They built that way so she make the right decision to leave him dry
Sister don’t quick jump to give your new life and husband too much credits and discredits your ex. Without your ex your wouldn’t had your college education, your children, and mostly become the woman you are today. Your ex may be wrong but not 100%, it was also your doing too; you stayed for 20 years!
koj zaj neej neeg yuav txawv tsis ntau kuv zaj xwb thiab os yom kuv ces tam sim no lo tsa chij dawb lawm thiab xum tawm hauv tus neeg tub nkeeg mus zoo duas
@@TMoua79 this man is lazy and she did the right divorcing him. However, if it's the opposite and he's working and she's staying home, that would've been totally fine. It's a fact that a woman not going stick around if she supports her husband more than he does.
If the man is a stay at home dad and doesn't cheat, take care of the house, the kids, etc., then it's OK. If he just cheats and disappears every chance he gets, that's a no. Both needs to bring some money to the table in today's day and age. One income is not going to be enough.
I’m just simply saying that there are good men and good women out there. And at the same time, there’re bad men and bad women out there. Saying that only women knows how to love unconditionally is just plain untrue.
Kuv lub neej ces tau tus txiv tub nkeeg li koj ko thiab Tiag ces thaum yug tau cov tub loj tuaj ces lawv coj cwj pwm raws nraim li lawv txiv thiab Tiag tej pab tub nyob laus tag los yeej muaj ib tug yuav ua hauj lwm li vim lawv pom lawv txiv ua li Cas ces lawv coj li lawv txiv thiab tiag
I enjoy having money and money takes care of my bills, supports my lifestyle, I can spoil myself and my children, and our travels. Love ain't gonna pay for all of that. I get her frustration with an incompetent man who can't hold a job. Having 4 kids and 2 adults and 1 income, I'd be mad too lol
He’s not lazy, he just didn’t wanna work. Instead he works at home and taking care of the kids. Besides he’s pretty good in bed according to what you saids😅.
Agree 50% with you. But tsis work ces noj tsis tsau os txawm ua hauj lwm hauv tsev na. Poj niam UA hauj lwm hauv vaj hauv tsev , nraum zoo, at work. Poj niam twb ua taus os. Tsis need a lazyman.
When I had little ones, my honey stayed home. Daycare was too expensive. And we were both ok with him being daddy daycare and takes care of the home. I came home to a clean house and warm dinner many times. We both agreed once kids go to school, he'll get a full time job. And he did. There's nothing wrong with dad's being home till the kids grow up.
Lub neej nyob teb chaws no txhua yam yog nuj nqis tag nrho xwb. Kev sib yuav ua txij nkawm twb ntshaw 2 leeg los koom siab sib pab, khwv noj khwv haus, khwv nyiaj los them nqi thiab thiaj tau nyiaj mus lomzem nrog yus tsev neeg. Tau tus txij nkawm tsis xav mus ua hauj lwm pab yus kom lub neej muaj raws lub siab ntshaw ces xum tso nws mus nrog tus phim2 nws xwb tiag.
Being a stay at home dad or mom is okay, but once your kids are grown it’s time to go to work. You can’t be a stay at home dad or mom forever. Living in America you have to make double or triple to provide for a family. He decided not to work eventhough their kids are grown.
Two people spending one check is hard to live by in USA. Unless the one person can make twice or 3X than Yes but both couples have to work. I was once in your place and it was stressful. I lived under depression because no matter how hard I work I’m always broke and my bills were piling up. I didn’t want to live anymore, as such to die. So I understand this lady with her first husband. Good thing my guy learned once I dumped all the bills on him lol 😂 and I stopped giving him my share. 🤣🤣 Some guys have to learn the hard way.
He just want to be a house-husband! LOL. Sounds like he was doing a great job too. Your vision and financial goal for the marriage is not the same as his. You do need a compatible partner.
Girl, I’m sorry you can’t have your cake and eat it too with a cherry on top. There is no men in this world that you can have it all. You let your degree to over step you husband. He’s at least home cooking and taking care of the home. You just haven’t see some of the worst men out there that does not cook, take are of the home, no job and all play.
Peb haj paub koj lub neej zoo zoo kawg koj dag xwb sav tus niam tsev siab phem koj deev hluas koj xav tau tus muaj dej num zoo xwb pom tus txiv neej twg muaj hauj lwm zoo nyiaj ntau ces maj brood mus thab deev kom tau xwb sad
Its not fair at all!!! either leave or quite ur job to be a good house wife like him. Why should one have to work 2 jobs??? Ib lub neej nos 2 leeg yuav tsum kws ib yam.....
Hey this sounds like my life story to but i don't feel the same as the woman in this story my husband is the same lazy to work but he cook and take really good care of the kids i might not have alot of money but i am a million in love&Memory and everything else in life a husband who is my best friend is the best that god ever get me🥰 and FYI i only make $23 a hours but i am really good with my money i travel alot and i have all the time in the world with my husband since all my kids are all big now...but not every woman is looking for love #30years got marry when we were only 15years old🤦♀️
Me ntxhais aw cas koj yuav tau ib tug txiv es zoo nkaus kuv tug hab os kuv tug es tub nkeeg hab tseem thaam hluas nkauj hab os es yug tau ib tug txiv tub nkeeg mas yug nim ntshaw 2 kuas yug muaj ib lub tsev yuav es nim nthaw 2 laug le nuav los tsi tau los tseem tsiv moog yuav nam yau hab ua rua yug tu sab tshaaj plawg le os lawv aw ua le koj has daabtsi los tsi ua tsuas yog leeg ua mov noj xwb
Man there’s no making a girl happy lol. Work all the time to make money, she may cheat on you cause you don’t give her the attention she crave. Don’t make enough money or don’t work at all but give her the attention she want, she may leave you for someone more financially stable 🤣. That being said tho, dude shouldn’t have let his family struggle financially unless he has a disability and couldn’t work.
I'm glad to hear this sister finally found happiness. That is being financially stable. In life, we can't have everything. Life isn't perfect. We just have to weigh what is most important to us and learn to live with it. For her, it was money. There is nothing wrong with that. Here is my rebuttal: she stated the only reason she left her 1st husband was because he couldn't keep a job. She has mentioned everything she wanted her husband to do. How about what he wanted to do? His career goals? All I kept hearing was her telling him to go get a job, and he's lazy. Could it be possible that he's lost in finding a career?
Luag tej tias tsis khwv tau tsawg Los tsuav txawj txuag siv, tsis tau hais tias poj niam lub homphiaj tsis yog nyiaj xwb tabsi yuav tsum ib leeg ib txog num es tau li cas yuav li ntawv ces ok. Txawm yog peb nyob dawb xwb es tos tus txiv li nyiaj xwb ces tus txiv Los cem ibyam. Nov tsuas yog kuv kev xav thiab ntawm cov neeg txomnyem xwb ov ho cov muaj kev kawm no ces nyias txawv nyias thiab .
@CHAO VUE kuv txiv thiab kuv niam tuaj nyob tau teb chaws meka tau 40 xyoo. Kuv txiv yog tus ua hauj lwm xwb. Kuv txiv tsis tau cem kuv niam rau peb cos meyuam hnov li hais txog ntawm nyiaj txiaj. Kawv kuj tsis perfect thiab. Peb ua neeg nyob, nyiam muaj nyiam ib txoj kev xav. Nyiam muaj nyiam ib lub hom piaj. Tus txiv tsev no (hauj zag story no) tsis yog ib tug neeg phem los yog lazy li tus niam tsev no hais. Kuv tsheem tias nws tsis muaj ib lub hom piaj los khwv nyiaj xwb. Yog ib zag story tu siab kawg. I wish them all well.
Niam lau ca kuv lub neej yuav raw nkau li koj txoj neej neeg li os dhuav tshaj plaw li os
He kept the home running while you work so how’s he considered lazy? You meant to say that you want a man who contributes financially to your household. Everyone has different wants, needs, and expectations in life. There is nothing wrong with a man being a stay at home dad if it works financially for a family. A man who contributes in any way is better than a man who does nothing but eat and sleep. My husband is a stay at home dad and I have no issues with that since we still have toddlers. I do talk to him constantly about working once our kids are all in school because I want him to be able to support himself if anything ever happens to me. One income is not the best but our bills are getting paid and there’s food on the table. I’d rather have one of us raise our kids instead of paying for daycare. Don’t compare your life to others. Set goals and work together to achieve them. You can’t always run away from your issues.
Agree. My husband and I have 6 kids. He was a stay at home dad for most of the kids' lives. My last baby is now 10 yrs old and my husband just went back to the work force for 5 years now. It was a struggle on one income, but we made it through.
Totally agree! A man can be a stay home dad too!!!
Nah. In order to be a sahp, your significant other needs to make enough money and agree for you to be the caretaker. Sounds like this is your situation. Don't compare yours to hers because she obviously struggled financially throughout her entire life with him and he continued to do this after the kids are grown. Just because you have a stay at home husband does not mean you have to support dead beats... man or woman. If your family is struggling financially and you refuse to work, using every excuse in the book, you're a deadbeat, period!
@@kelbra3689 not comparing my life to hers because I’m thankful that I could provide the financial support for my husband to be a sahd. Her statement of her ex-husband being lazy doesn’t go well with what she made him to be. A lazy person is someone who doesn’t do anything to help out. Yes, he wasn’t working but he handled everything in the home according to her. I’m not referencing to whatever his reasons are for him to never hold a job but it’s clearly on how she determined lazy.
You don't get the point. Her story is different from yours. Yours, you made a choice. Hers, she needed his help but he finds excuses not to help her out.
Calling him lazy is an understatement. He just doesn’t want to work so he stays home and does a great job at being a househusband. I’d get it if he stays home and doesn’t do anything. I think you’re only upset because you’re the only one working and doesn’t appreciate your husband. I know a woman who works 2 jobs and her husband just does all the work at home and takes care of the kids. She’s happy with it. I guess different strokes for different folks.
Not everyone will tell you the truth. They only tell and show what they want you to know and see.
we don't call that lazy but we call that neeg siab phem
Wrong. If a woman works 2 jobs, that's because her husband doesn't want to do his part and she has no choice but to fill his shoes. No loving mother wants to work 2 jobs and sacrifice her time with her kids. Anybody that tells you otherwise is hiding their shame that they are married to a man that does not provide for his family.
A real man doesn't sit home and cook and allow his wife to work 2 shifts!
People who have never had a spouse who doesn't share the same life goals won't understand.
If you really listened to this woman's story, her husband only thinks of himself. He doesn't work because he wants to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. These type of people can never hold a job. He cooks costly and delicious meals because HE wants to eat it and not because he's trying to show his wife appreciation (he can show appreciation by budgeting for groceries). Their marriage is only based on his happiness, and he wants his wife to fund his lifestyle.
cas zaj no yuav zoo ua luaj na kuv nyiam zaj no hee lis os
20 years is a long time wasted with a deadbeat. I guess some women are super patience. I guess I'm too worried about my future and my children to push for better from both myself and my spouse. Glad to have found a spouse who's willing to do the same and make necessary sacrifices for a better future.
Right! My only thoughts would be for my children's future and my future only.
@@c.lee-soulisak327 yep because time is precious and a valuable commodity. If she left him 20 years ago, she would've found a better home for her and her children. Glad things work out for her after leaving this deadbeat.
I'm glad that you are in a better place with a new relationship but you sound like a woman who is only worried about herself. You continously praise your new husband but have you even considered your children? Are your children happy? Sometimes in life, not money is everything.
Sis your husband is not lazy. He probably ain’t the working type but if you come to a warming house, foods on the table and kids are all good you shouldn’t be complaining too much. Not everyone is perfect. Like you say “cov kwv yog menyuam laib thiabsi muaj ib txog haujlwm” so do you want a husband that is a “laib” that party every week and running off with his boys as long as he has a job??? Don’t focus too much about money. Money doesn’t buy Love remember that!
Mloog tej zaj neej neeg no ce xav muab yu tej txiv nrauj lm xb thiab os leej twg tau txiv tub nkeeg ce tag yu ib sim neej yeej tsi nrog luag tau noj qab hnav zoo tsi mj vaj muaj tsev zoo nrog luag nyob li os lawv....ca tu siab ua luaj li os....
Yog kawg koj hais twj nkaus kuv ntag ho tau txiv tub nkees ces poob qab lawm ces
I don't understand all the women siding with this loser husband. Unless you are physically disabled and cannot work at all, then I understand. There's no excuse for not working. My husband and I married very young and had kids very young, but we both worked separate shifts full-time and still able to raise our kids and get chores done. Why would I need a husband to do house chores when I am able to work full-time, do everything around the house, and take are of my kids. If only 1 spouse works, your life will not go anywhere period! Peb ua neeg nyob xav muaj xwb tsis xav pluag
Life is always hard when you have a spouse who don't want to help out but just eat off your effort.
Plus the future doesn't look too bright for a household like this one. He's a bad example for their kids, not sure why she waited so long. I hope none of her kids pick up their dad bad behavior and think they can just relied on someone else to take care of them. That won't happen in this day and age.
LMFAO, sister, I feel you on many levels, but you and I are very different. You have patience. I, on the other hand, do not. I was once married to a similar man. When we first met, he had a job, but after two months into the relationship, he quit his job. For the next six months, he played job hunting and interviews here and there, but no one was hiring. He would ask me for money to fix his car or for handing out with his family or friends. I would always tell him why would I give you my hard earned money to help you or so you can go out and have fun? I would tell him I have two kids to support, I have a mortgage to pay, and household expenses that don't operate on water or empty. I do not even spend or spurlge on myself? I told him he'll have to get a job and therefore have his own money to do as he pleased. He wanted us to move in together...LMFAO, now that was funny. He has no job, he can not support himself, much less help me, he can't even afford a dinner out unless I pay. I'm not even impressed in the bedroom. Why on God's earth would I want another mouth to feed or have to support and deal with the bullshit and drama, not to mention the stress. Hell, fukn no. I showed him the door really quickly. We all want a partner who will love, support, respect, honor, be loyal, and work together for a better tomorrow and a great relationship in all aspects of life. We craved the intimacy and closeness, but we do not need to sell ourselves short for it.
I find it hilarious that you "feel" the sister in the story yet your own experience is completely different from hers. From your post, your ex-husband actually seem like a real dead-beat that doesnt help you at all but rather live off your money while "going out having fun". In this story, her husband actually takes care of her by cooking and doing all the chores in the house.
Please dont try to link your actual deadbeat loser to a guy that isnt hardly one. I supposed since you DO "feel" like this sister, you would much rather have a txiv dev that goes around clapping women while bringing in the money than a "lazy" one. LMFAO
@iNNoCeNttDReAMs I wasn't married to my ex. We dnt live together either. Yes her husband did things around the house all because he doesn't wnt to go get a job and wrk. So he'll rather do some domestic stuff to keep her from complaining. The thing is thr is no right or wrong if their both okay wth their situation. If it's an agreement and they're both happy wth it thts great. There are plenty of men's that are stay at home dad or the domesticated partner. It's a problem whn you hv a lazy partner tht doesn't do anything and expects everything
Yep..20 years is a long time. Mine last 10 1/2 years, I considered that was a long time wasted.
Tau tus txiv tub nkeeg thiab tus txiv nyiam tham hluas nkauj ces ntxov tso ntxov dim kev nyuaj siab.
Yus nyob yus, yus tsis siv nyiaj los tsis muaj tus nrog yus siv. Yus ntshaw yam twg yus yuav tau, tsis muaj tus cem.
I felt uncomfortable listening to this lady. He sounded like a great husband and stay at home dad. She’s about money and keeping up with the jone’s and reputation. Lady, live for yourself and stop trying to impress the public. New studies are being published about healthy relationships within a family system. You got your lavish lifestyle but your children are suffering.
Nice try lol
Yoy missed the whole story lol. He's a sahp wanna be! A liar that dont wanna work. He finds excuses to quit his job. Spent tons of money to make good food when there's only 1 income.
Niam laus aw cas zaj no thooj kiag li kv zaj thiab lub neej tau tus txiv tsis txawj khws noj mas nyuab tshaj li os
You choose your own battles. Every man comes with a battle, just like us women. He’s not bad, he just doesn’t want to work. But listening to this story it seems that he does things for you. You are comparing your life with other people’s life and that’s where it goes wrong. Don’t compare your life with other’s life, that’s what makes you miserable.
If you want to find a man that makes money, he will come with other battles for you. Not sure if you will like those battles.
These days you need two income to survive! I would ditch him!!!
I agree with you. Men don’t come in a full package. There are sporty men, hunting/fishing men, game men & workaholic men. You name it. Some men are homemakers while some are not. In this lady’s case her husband just wants to be a homemaker while she wants a lavish life that he can’t give her because he’s unwilling to work. They’re just not compatible. But the word lazy doesn’t fit him if he was willing to do all the work at home.
@@kellielee9829 that is called lazy. A good man works to support his family and still do chores around the house......like me.
@@kellielee9829 going by your logic, the husband in the story would be compatible with another homemaker which equals living on welfare because they are both not interested in providing for their family. Sorry, we call these people lazy.
The woman shouldn't be blamed for this. She tried her best to provide for the family for years until her children became teenagers. He does not have any excuse to not want to improve their life situation after 11 years. Especially if she has voiced it many times. Their children are growing and will need financial support. Even if this was an opposite situation, if the husband told his wife to find a job for several years, and she didn't, then the result would be the same. Nowadays, there are so many job opportunities for everyone that it shouldn't be just one's responsibility to provide for the entire family. I understand everyone's life situation is different, but if you are available to work and chose not to then that's the end of your career. This is just being a bad role model for the children and lessened their motivations in life.
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Nrog koj zoo siab tau lub neej kaj siab lawm
Its hard to stay with someone when they dont even feel bad that you have to be the only one suffering and working. If you make a very good wage from a good paying job than maybe they can stay home but you dont so they need to understand and get off their butt to go help you work and provide. I dont feel bad for this txiv tsev at all glad you moved on
Thawj tug tsis yog koj tus tav koj maj txhawm txiv yuav lawm xwb ,
Thaum tau kiag koj tus tav cais txhua yam nws txawj Los nrhiav koj lawd thov Kom muaj hmoo li no mus ob sid nawb sib hlub ov
Girl, you don’t appreciate your man. He is not lazy. He works so hard taking care of the house and the children. I don’t know why you looked down on him just because he doesn’t work at a company. He does everything else at home. If your income is substantial, you don’t need to be so hard on your man. Think of this, if he ain’t got it, you should. You’re a team.
❤️♥️❤️♥️
Many men work for their whole life to support their wives and never complain, but when the wives work to support the husbands, they're asking for divorce. This is unfair for men.
Tus me sister aw txhob tsawm zoo zoo siab os mog zoo ntxov zoo rov nawb, koj tus txiv tamsim no zoo zoo ua cas ho yog nraug fav thiab. Xiam tiag tiag aib pog no.
Sim neej no ...yog leej twg tau ib niag txiv Tub nkees es nws nyob ...yus khwv tuag Los nws yeej tsis oaub txaj muag es yuav pab tus poj niam li Mas dhuav siab tshaj plaws li o hmoob aw..
Nrauj tau lawm ces xam tias yus dim lub niag qhov lwj siab lawm o hmoob e
Lub neej no yeej tsis khuv xim...
Nkauj hmoob cas koj yuav hais lus tau zoo tiag tiag li saib ntxim koj yuag txawj sib txiag tiag tiag li thiab koj lub me paum yuav ntxim hlub tiag li
niam lauj aw cas kj haig tau zoo ưa luaj lí os
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I can understand why she did what she did. It's not so much that she didn't appreciate him, but her love language is different from what he is showing her. Her love language is financial help, his is just acts of service. Although that sounds wonderful to some of us, everyone's love language is different. She tried to express it to him a lot of times and it didn't work. I'm glad she was able to walk out and find her own happiness.
Cas koj zaj neej neeg no es thooj kv ua luaj os tau txiv tub nkeeg es lub neej nyuaj kawg li os
Sister you waited 20 years for happiness. So happy for you and your children. Enjoy your life now and forever to the fullest ❤️
Taking care of children, parents and doing all chores around the house is not "tub nkeeg" it is the hardest job that no one recognize and appreciate. You should be glad and appreciative of him and the abundance around you. Seems like your love is conditional not unconditional. Happiness is not money$$.
True! But when the kids get older he should go get a job and help his wife out!
Well if women are allowed to be stay-home moms why can't men be stay-home husbands??? Let's not set up double standards here just because it's not the regular norm you'll see every day. It's not like he doesn't do any house chores. He gets the job done at home. 🤷♀️
Tus Txiv tub nkeeg los tsi zoo tus Txiv tham hluas Nkauj los yeej tsi zoo thiab yus lub Neej los caum tsi Cuag luag nawb mog
Lub neej thaum ub tsua nos hais poj Niam tub nkeem xwb cas nub nos yos yog tug Txiv tub nkeem lawm nes. You so lucky and good for you congratulations enjoy your new life.
Niam ntsuab teev kuv sports every things ntawm tus Ntxhais no keep fighting for the future.
Ib tug poj niam thaum peb txiv neej tsis xav yuav tsis xav nrog nws ua neej lawm ces kawg tsis xav ua hauj lwm tsis xav tsoob li lawm thiab txhob txwm ua kom nej poj niam dhuav peb es nej tso tes plau thiaj li dim nej xwb tiag mus yuav lub tshiab zoo siab thiab huv siab dua Amem
😭😭😭😭
Tu me viv ncaus aw koj hai yog tshaj plaw li lawm os mog
Lub neej no zoo li kuv lub kiag ntag os
You need the same goals to be successful, remember that
Siab ntev mloog nrog koj lawm ntag Niam Tsev Hmoob Yaj Tusla.
Agree 50% of this story.
He’s like my younger brother. Every time you ask him to go find a job he say he already found a job just waiting for a call but week after week no work. You found him a job he said the pay is not enough he found one that is better pay but week after week no work lol. They built that way so she make the right decision to leave him dry
Sister don’t quick jump to give your new life and husband too much credits and discredits your ex. Without your ex your wouldn’t had your college education, your children, and mostly become the woman you are today. Your ex may be wrong but not 100%, it was also your doing too; you stayed for 20 years!
Qau tas rau rab no lawm los tus muam
kv yuav ua cas tiv tom thiaj tau koj os niam laus aw
Lady if you hungry for 💰💰💰💰💰go to Oklahoma be May 2nd wives!!!!👍👍👍👍👍
Cas yuav raug king kuv lub neej li os
So true no money no honey, arguing a lot if no money.
Cov txiv dev tub nkeeg zoo li no ces ntxov nrauj ntxov zoo nawb cov mi niam tsev aw...
Wow koj kam nrog niag txiv tub nkeeg ko nyob tau 20 xyoo diam os! Koj mas yeej yog uv thiab tiv kev txom nyem lwj siab txaus nkaus lawm mas.. nrog koj zoo siab os
pab teb kv nawb leej twb paub pab qhia kv tiv tom koj os niam ntsuab teev
koj zaj neej neeg yuav txawv tsis ntau kuv zaj xwb thiab os yom kuv ces tam sim no lo tsa chij dawb lawm thiab xum tawm hauv tus neeg tub nkeeg mus zoo duas
He sounds like a nice house fairy.
Ok
Only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved under the condition that he provides something. - Chris Rock
Puas Yog man?? not all men are created equal. This story just explains it. First husband, no good. Second husband, good from her pov.
@@TMoua79 this man is lazy and she did the right divorcing him. However, if it's the opposite and he's working and she's staying home, that would've been totally fine. It's a fact that a woman not going stick around if she supports her husband more than he does.
@@chouathao2122 of course. I just read your post and what you mentioned is a little bias.
If the man is a stay at home dad and doesn't cheat, take care of the house, the kids, etc., then it's OK. If he just cheats and disappears every chance he gets, that's a no. Both needs to bring some money to the table in today's day and age. One income is not going to be enough.
I’m just simply saying that there are good men and good women out there. And at the same time, there’re bad men and bad women out there. Saying that only women knows how to love unconditionally is just plain untrue.
Wow. May, you got your eyes done? I want to, too! ❤️ beautiful!
It’s makeup.
I think its just eyeshadow.
It’s just a cut crease.
Zoo heev li ♥️🌹👍
Kuv lub neej ces tau tus txiv tub nkeeg li koj ko thiab Tiag ces thaum yug tau cov tub loj tuaj ces lawv coj cwj pwm raws nraim li lawv txiv thiab Tiag tej pab tub nyob laus tag los yeej muaj ib tug yuav ua hauj lwm li vim lawv pom lawv txiv ua li Cas ces lawv coj li lawv txiv thiab tiag
Haha, poj niam lub siab tias tsi zoo nraug, tsi nquag, tsi muaj los tsuav yog hlub2 xwb ces haib kawg lawm. Cas zaj no ho tsi yog li ntawm ne.
Yog kawg, this is so true, and i get all the blame for everyhing.
I enjoy having money and money takes care of my bills, supports my lifestyle, I can spoil myself and my children, and our travels. Love ain't gonna pay for all of that. I get her frustration with an incompetent man who can't hold a job. Having 4 kids and 2 adults and 1 income, I'd be mad too lol
Well I am glad to hear of a Happy Ending from a bad Hmong marriage.
May, koj cov duab photo thaij nrog cov niag mos txhov ntawv cas zoo nkauj heev li os.
He’s not lazy, he just didn’t wanna work. Instead he works at home and taking care of the kids. Besides he’s pretty good in bed according to what you saids😅.
Agree 50% with you. But tsis work ces noj tsis tsau os txawm ua hauj lwm hauv tsev na. Poj niam UA hauj lwm hauv vaj hauv tsev , nraum zoo, at work. Poj niam twb ua taus os. Tsis need a lazyman.
@@sunnygirl973 if you said so😂😂.
When I had little ones, my honey stayed home. Daycare was too expensive. And we were both ok with him being daddy daycare and takes care of the home. I came home to a clean house and warm dinner many times. We both agreed once kids go to school, he'll get a full time job. And he did. There's nothing wrong with dad's being home till the kids grow up.
Right but not in this case with the father unfortunately.
Lub neej nyob teb chaws no txhua yam yog nuj nqis tag nrho xwb. Kev sib yuav ua txij nkawm twb ntshaw 2 leeg los koom siab sib pab, khwv noj khwv haus, khwv nyiaj los them nqi thiab thiaj tau nyiaj mus lomzem nrog yus tsev neeg. Tau tus txij nkawm tsis xav mus ua hauj lwm pab yus kom lub neej muaj raws lub siab ntshaw ces xum tso nws mus nrog tus phim2 nws xwb tiag.
Being a stay at home dad or mom is okay, but once your kids are grown it’s time to go to work. You can’t be a stay at home dad or mom forever. Living in America you have to make double or triple to provide for a family. He decided not to work eventhough their kids are grown.
Txiv tub nkeeg ces ntxov nrauj ntxov zoo xwb hos
Sounds like my brother Inlaw.
Divorce doesn’t mean infidelity. Divorce can also mean you have different goals. She has dreams and goals and he doesn’t, her feelings are valid.
No money, no pim na has lawg hais na....🤣🤣🤣
Two people spending one check is hard to live by in USA. Unless the one person can make twice or 3X than Yes but both couples have to work.
I was once in your place and it was stressful. I lived under depression because no matter how hard I work I’m always broke and my bills were piling up. I didn’t want to live anymore, as such to die. So I understand this lady with her first husband.
Good thing my guy learned once I dumped all the bills on him lol 😂 and I stopped giving him my share. 🤣🤣
Some guys have to learn the hard way.
zoo
He just want to be a house-husband! LOL. Sounds like he was doing a great job too. Your vision and financial goal for the marriage is not the same as his. You do need a compatible partner.
Wow don’t know why some men and women so lazy don’t want to work so sad
Girl, I’m sorry you can’t have your cake and eat it too with a cherry on top. There is no men in this world that you can have it all. You let your degree to over step you husband. He’s at least home cooking and taking care of the home. You just haven’t see some of the worst men out there that does not cook, take are of the home, no job and all play.
Dr wahoua hais tias pojniam siab phem tshaj it is true
Lol… let her go dude, move on. She is not that good either.
Kuv tau tus txiv quag dhau lawm,tsis muaj sij hawm rau kuv li, kuv twb xav nrauj kiag lawm hahaha
Hmong woman just don't know when to let go and move on...
Good for that Hmong sister! Go find your happiness.
Peb haj paub koj lub neej zoo zoo kawg koj dag xwb sav tus niam tsev siab phem koj deev hluas koj xav tau tus muaj dej num zoo xwb pom tus txiv neej twg muaj hauj lwm zoo nyiaj ntau ces maj brood mus thab deev kom tau xwb sad
May vang how’s your business going in Oklahoma???
Txhob pub ua paum mas yog tsis pab koj khwv nyiaj
Its not fair at all!!! either leave or quite ur job to be a good house wife like him. Why should one have to work 2 jobs??? Ib lub neej nos 2 leeg yuav tsum kws ib yam.....
Hey this sounds like my life story to but i don't feel the same as the woman in this story my husband is the same lazy to work but he cook and take really good care of the kids i might not have alot of money but i am a million in love&Memory and everything else in life a husband who is my best friend is the best that god ever get me🥰 and FYI i only make $23 a hours but i am really good with my money i travel alot and i have all the time in the world with my husband since all my kids are all big now...but not every woman is looking for love #30years got marry when we were only 15years old🤦♀️
Wow how is her husband just like mine
Me ntxhais aw cas koj yuav tau ib tug txiv es zoo nkaus kuv tug hab os kuv tug es tub nkeeg hab tseem thaam hluas nkauj hab os es yug tau ib tug txiv tub nkeeg mas yug nim ntshaw 2 kuas yug muaj ib lub tsev yuav es nim nthaw 2 laug le nuav los tsi tau los tseem tsiv moog yuav nam yau hab ua rua yug tu sab tshaaj plawg le os lawv aw ua le koj has daabtsi los tsi ua tsuas yog leeg ua mov noj xwb
Av lim xwb os.😅
Ntshe kv yuav tau nrauj kv tus li koj os
Koj twb hais tias koj g hlub nws lawm ua Cas koj pheej tseem hais me koj txiv me koj txiv no na shit
He cooks for you. 😢😢
My husband cooked for me twice. 😂
Man there’s no making a girl happy lol. Work all the time to make money, she may cheat on you cause you don’t give her the attention she crave. Don’t make enough money or don’t work at all but give her the attention she want, she may leave you for someone more financially stable 🤣. That being said tho, dude shouldn’t have let his family struggle financially unless he has a disability and couldn’t work.
I'm glad to hear this sister finally found happiness. That is being financially stable. In life, we can't have everything. Life isn't perfect. We just have to weigh what is most important to us and learn to live with it. For her, it was money. There is nothing wrong with that. Here is my rebuttal: she stated the only reason she left her 1st husband was because he couldn't keep a job. She has mentioned everything she wanted her husband to do. How about what he wanted to do? His career goals? All I kept hearing was her telling him to go get a job, and he's lazy. Could it be possible that he's lost in finding a career?
Luag tej tias tsis khwv tau tsawg Los tsuav txawj txuag siv, tsis tau hais tias poj niam lub homphiaj tsis yog nyiaj xwb tabsi yuav tsum ib leeg ib txog num es tau li cas yuav li ntawv ces ok. Txawm yog peb nyob dawb xwb es tos tus txiv li nyiaj xwb ces tus txiv Los cem ibyam. Nov tsuas yog kuv kev xav thiab ntawm cov neeg txomnyem xwb ov ho cov muaj kev kawm no ces nyias txawv nyias thiab .
@CHAO VUE kuv txiv thiab kuv niam tuaj nyob tau teb chaws meka tau 40 xyoo. Kuv txiv yog tus ua hauj lwm xwb. Kuv txiv tsis tau cem kuv niam rau peb cos meyuam hnov li hais txog ntawm nyiaj txiaj. Kawv kuj tsis perfect thiab. Peb ua neeg nyob, nyiam muaj nyiam ib txoj kev xav. Nyiam muaj nyiam ib lub hom piaj. Tus txiv tsev no (hauj zag story no) tsis yog ib tug neeg phem los yog lazy li tus niam tsev no hais. Kuv tsheem tias nws tsis muaj ib lub hom piaj los khwv nyiaj xwb. Yog ib zag story tu siab kawg. I wish them all well.
Es kj niag txiv tub nkeeg ko g pab kj sov me nyuam li thiab los tus niam tsev
That's why I dont date a guy who's not working because I dont wanna be like this woman.
Yog kuv tus tham hluas nkauj kawg tab sis nws tua nws txoj hauj lwm kho 2 xwb
Glad she went to find her happiness and got it. Glad there's a happy ending for her.
I'd rather work then being a sah parent.