What Is The Virtue And Vice Of ISFJs? | Faith Vs. Fear | CS Joseph
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ก.ย. 2024
- What is the virtue and vice of ISFJs? CS Joseph explores Faith vs Fear.
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Very nicely done, as always. My mom is an ISFJ and as an INTP, when I was in junior high, she and I went round and round over the whole church thing. My mom recently suffered a devastating loss; her younger brother/best friend died unexpectedly. On the day he died, she said to me "I can't bear this; I can't go on without him." And I said "You can and you will...because you always, always do." It's absolutely true, she always, always does.
The part about not cultivating fear so we can have faith that moves mountains.. that spoke to me. Thank you!
you are most welcome
I am an isfj. I found your isfp video to be very enlightening on my husband's personality and I was excited to listen to more of your videos on the rest of my family's personality. I am so sad listening to this video. It is obvious that you have been hurt by isfjs in the past. I was looking to find some encouragement on my personality and this video was a great letdown. I believe there are negatives and positives in every personality. It would have been nice to hear about some mature isfjs, not only the immature ones. I would never push my beliefs on another person.
agreed
@@SuperSmets was very objective regarding ISFJs. They can be unbearably stubborn and insistent killjoys when it comes to their ideals, traditions, beliefs. They are so so kind. But trespass on this sacred territory and you can make an enemy for life. If they love you or you are family they will put up with allot of sh** because they are committed to this ideal of keeping their loved ones and family close.
Christi W you Isfj can’t face the facts you all are not that pleasant I was never hurt by an isfj but I agree with this video ... just because you don’t like maybe who you are or how your are perceived doesn’t mean someone was hurt I know if feels better to dump something onto others vs seeing who you are not literally you I don’t know you but I was excited to get to know this Isfj and my goodness my experience is wow what a waste no wonder ppl don’t enjoy being around you ( the Isfj I’m thinking of ) but I’m ha gong in there maybe there is something more .
Well my mom is an isfj and by God she is one of the strongest best people I have ever met. She is willing to go to hell and back again simply for the sake of a child she off handedly met on the street. When she defends an ideal, she defends it with such fervour, it's almost unreal. You will never have a more loyal and caring person.
Of course, the second she gets into a "fad" and she has faith in it, (like homeopathy) no amount of reason or logic can get her out of it.
The thing is that because she was mature, she had core core beliefs, she pushed those on to us (like ethics) so that was brilliant, and thankfully, religion was not one of them. That was one thing she believed in, but didn't really force us into it simply because she's wise enough to understand what actually matters, and that controlling me (INTJ) was an exercise in futility. So rather let me choose what I believe in, and most of her beliefs I do share, just not those on religion.
Immature ISFJ's do so much damage, especially to their own belief systems. For a lot of non-ISFJ's, having religion force fed to us has made us averse to the taste. How many people are headed to hell because ISFJs treated them so harshly?
Hi C.S. Joseph, I’m a 21 year old ISFJ & I am in agreement with everything you said in this video. I know this may sound arrogant, but I believe that I am already living a lot of the advice you are rightfully giving us.
I’ve lived a turbulent life with an ISTJ as a mother (who is *surprise surprise* in a cult🙄). I also was predominately raised (& still live in) New York City, so I often was not allowed the luxury of being too close minded or sheltered. I also moved a lot throughout my short life so having “the rug pulled from under me” is something I’ve almost come to expect in life. I was obedient as a child but definitely always had a mind of my own (mostly quietly). My father, whom I adored and shared a close bond with as a child is an ESFP. During my adolescence, my mother became increasingly emotionally neglectful & more obsessive & involved in the cult she was raised in (& trying to raise me in as well). This officially ignited a very critical and defiant nature within me. I observed how being EXTREMELY obedient and trusting of the authority figures in her life caused so much of her failures and downfalls in life (although she would argue otherwise). Due to her forceful & controlling nature, I began to question & analyze EVERYTHING in BOTH of our lives. Her pushing/forcing prompted me to seek out information that ended up debunking the cult she was trying so hard to force me into. Having my faith in a “religion” I was raised in completely SHATTERED by easily accessible TRUTH & logic caused me to suddenly question EVERYTHING. I suddenly became super obsessed with questioning everything and everyone in my mind. Also, being raised in such a diverse environment caused me to try to keep a less bias/objective point of view on a lot of things.
Having a controlling mother constantly trying to force PERSONAL decisions upon me only showed me how horrible and ineffective that way of thinking and behaving is. I also used to be hypercritical (& vocal) towards people that I cared about. But I’ve learned that we’re all screwed up in our own way & have to grow & come to conclusions at our own pace.
Now I put everything I hear through this figurative “obstacle course” in my mind constantly. My mother served as a valuable example of everything I don’t want to succumb to or end up as in life. I don’t want to be alone like her.
I try to be open-minded and see the good as well as the shortcomings of those around me. Instead of relying solely on my immediate judgements, I try to learn people’s background & journeys to understand & empathize better. Everyone has a story and usually a valid reason why they are the way they are & make the decisions they make. Unless asked for, I try to keep my critiques to myself and focus on my own decisions rather than everyone else’s. I honestly do care deeply about those close to me especially, but I understand the necessity and power of CHOICE. So I try my best to honor everyone else’s decisions even if I don’t quite get it. I’ve learned to accept & even embrace other people’s decisions (because I’ve accepted the reality that most people do the OPPOSITE of what I would do in situations anyway). And at the end of the day, what works for me, is not what’s right for everybody & that’s part of the beauty of this life. I genuinely live my life on faith, while always striving for a higher level of objectivity. I have firm beliefs, but I always leave room for healthy & reasonable doubt and challenges to those beliefs. I had to learn through observing my mother & through my own trials & errors that most things are not black & white. Leave room for the unknown in everything because nothing is perfectly as it seems. I also make myself open to trying and understanding new things. Despite all that I dislike about my mother, there is SO much of her that I love & adopt for myself. But her ignorance, stubbornness, & lack of AUTHENTIC & DIVERSE life experiences is one of the biggest things I want to avoid. I want to try almost everything at least once, to better myself & expand my world views. I believe this will make me a more well rounded and flexible person for myself & others, which is what I ultimately strive to be.
This summed up my father, God bless him. ISFJ father for an ENFP was difficult as I spread my own wings and veered from his path... but I cant say I didn't feel loved and safe. I wouldn't change him for anything. He is a roman catholic and pretty bummed about my ESTJ Doctor brother and ESFP Scientist brother going atheist. He holds faith he will win them back once they have suffered enough from life.
My father-in-law: Consistently cheerful, marathon runner, religious scholar. Compelled to share the same anecdotes over and over and to give the life stories of everyone he ever knew.
He and I often have conversations in which I focus on principles and ideals and he explains why things are the way they are. Very interesting, but they never accomplish anything. Even so, I enjoy them a lot.
He's informative as hell, takes his time about everything, is concrete and affiliative and (I think) responding. He's very past-focused and I'd bet that he remembers every conversation he's ever had. I think that rules out everything except ISFJ.
Your understanding of the different types is amazing, how did you go about learning all of them?
when I was homeless trying to save my marriage
😳oh, never knew
My mother is actually an ISFJ, and she did exactly that- Throughout all of my teens, she was very strict with keeping me away from things she deemed to be bad, because she thought it would make me a bad person. She was also a raging Christian, and always had the thought process that because I didn't believe in her religion, that I was a bad person. She was very strict and controlling, keeping my time with friends and boyfriends very limited, and always had to know what was going on in my life. She would freak the hell out if I didn't tell her, so we didn't have the most comfortable relationship. I couldn't confide in her about things like sex, or birth control, because of my fear of what her reaction would be! Sex was defintely off the table, because she thought it would make me a 'slut', therefore making me a bad person. Defintely related to this on a spiritual level.
INFJ here with an ISFJ mom. She was extremely afraid and controlling. My brother (INFP) have really screwed ourselves over on occasions as she cuts off all support if she disagrees with any decision.
I'm very late to the party, but, as I've been using these videos to learn more about myself and the people I value, I instantly shot up around the halfway mark of this video as I can answer your question: Yes, that's a very hauntingly similar experience I heavily resonate with... Makes way more sense looking back on things now, thanks Chase!
Im an intp, my mom is an isfj and she called the cops when she caught me smoking weed in high school, but my friends escaped with the evidence. I tried to take a nap afterwards, so she was fearful that the weed was laced with something and made me go to the emergency room. The doctor almost laughed. Isfj fear can get ridiculous. Ive also seen a lot of fear from my INFJ friend, but he is doing a million things at once all the time and very stressed (by his own choice, he is already a millionaire at 24 and wants to be a billionaire). INFJ paranoia is real
This is a very informative video. Thank you! I was brought up in a Catholic family and am an isfj. As a child I would mimic the priest while at play. As I grew up, however I found myself questioning everything and found far too many contradictions in the bible. So I opened up. I looked at other faiths at first and too be honest, I found a lot of teachings to sound rather child-like in nature. From there I became a militant atheist. As one, I eventually realized that being that way was alienating others and hurtful. So I stopped and fell back to learning more science and physics. Then stoicism came into my TH-cam feed. THAT spoke to me. I guess I’m at a point where I’ve replaced religion with philosophy. Listening to you speak about isfj’s who don’t challenge their faith out of fear has me glad that I didn’t go that route. You are correct about failure being a great teacher and damn straight we can endure :)
Chris Moniz This sounds like my friend that is possibly isfj. I wasnt sure if he was isfj because he said they don't fact check
Dude, don't know whats childlike about martyrdom and casting shopkeepers out of places of worship. It sounds like you grew up in the sissy novus ordo catholicism thats plagued society since the 1960s (sadly i did too). If you looked up traditional catholicism and heroic saints you would be surprised. It sounds like you let your faith be broken rather than getting to the heart of it. You should look up G.K. Chesterton, who was a convert from atheism and 19th century philosophy, who very distinctly and specifically explains that Catholicism is universal because its attributes encompass the militaristic, the peacemaker, the philosopher, the artist, the scientist... All. The people who think Catholicism is only about turning the other cheek never heard of St. Nicholas of Myra or St. Joan of Arc. Douay Rheims edition of the bible is best because it doesn't have all the hippie junk they threw into the new american bible. Novus ordo screwed Catholics
the moment you describe the story about an isfj mother and her daughter, that hits me like a brick. that's exactly what happened to me. she tried to control everything. I loved studying as a child. every accomplishments I did was because I wanted it but I don't remember my mother ever appreciated it. it makes sense now why I used to skip house duties because I am an infj. my mother rarely appreciate or praised her kids. even if I do what she wanted, it doesn't matter. she's not going to be there to celebrate me.
as I grew older she became more and more controlling because I choose arts over accounting/banking. I knew she dislikes that. she disliked it too when I said I quit my job in a certain company because how sexist and corrupt the ppl there were. the more I tried to tell her about me and my life, about what I wanted to do, the more she complained and spoke up about "fear". oh also that thing about religion. everytime I tried to talk to her about my mental health she would always says; "oh, that's because your lack of faith. you need to pray more then you'd be fine!". I hated that sentences.
I don't talk to her anymore now. I even forgot when was the last time I talked to her over the phone. I don't care that she's my mother. I just cannot handle that much of nagging and negativity in my life.
I feel for you.
Sounds like your mother could be a narcissist of some kind. There are many different types of narcissist like sociopaths and psychopath, to covert or overt and malignant and grandiose, and few more. One of my old friends was a passive aggressive covert sadistic sociopath narcissist and that was a mouth full. Your mother could have something totally different with her and maybe she is just mean and hurtful and lacks empathy and compassion forsure. I am really sorry you had to grow up dealing with her bullshit and treating you however she wanted to. God bless your mother and you to because God created you and God knows everything and God was not happy with your mother treated you like she was and she will have to explain to God why and however God wants you to do but she will ask God for forgiveness and God is the only judges others.
thank u for this. i’ve been living in fear for too long & never realised how illogical & stagnating that is... i love what u’re doing now, i hope that u’ll continue & achieve ur final goal
This is so enlightening, I am blown away. I’m an INFJ with an ISFJ mother, who is a lifetime and dogged Jehovah Witness,, married to an istj Pakistani businessman, and both who use traditionalism, money, etc. to control family. In old age, we are now estranged (and I have been ostracized by entire family including extended). She was always such a mystery to me, and too pat to just peg her as a covert narcissist. I needed a deeper perspective. So good. Much needed. Thank you.
Have an open mind but no need to sin; stay as healthy as you can. Congrats on 1k subs! 🎉 😁
I am an INTJ and my best friend is an ISFJ and as you can guess I'm not much of a faith type guy so I argued with that friend and he accepted my view point and gave up religion as well. He absolutely did not get angry at all. But as far as being traditional is concerned then there is indeed some truth to it as he is still a very conventional person and the thing about information source and labeling people is also very accurate, he does that a lot.
@C.S. Joseph
1. Free will or programmed?
Having watched a few of your videos on ISFJs and other types, i have a general observation to make: even though you said that each person is unique, you tend to put people in a personality box, as if there are only 16 types of people in the world and each one of them will always and only act a certain way. "They WILL cut you off", "they WILL punish you", etc. You need to choose your words more carefully because each one of us is unique, with free will and not programmed. Otherwise you don't sound professional enough.
For example, perhaps an ISFJ is more likely to cut you off as a revenge or out of fear if you don't share their belief system, but another ISFJ may pray for you in secret and with love. And then there's a 3rd ISFJ who may share someone's atheistic beliefs.
2. Regarding fear, i almost never dared to make a move with someone i had feelings for, and one of the main reasons was definitely fear of rejection, or that i won't be enough. Do all personality types have this? Are ISFJs the ones who have it the most?
im not hear to sound professional. As hyperbolic as I get, it is done intentionally. Not all types have this, but ISFJs need others to initiate with them so ISFJs can feel desired.
im an ISFJ but i dont care about religion
this is refreshing.
Same! I was raised to be religious but fell out of religion/spirituality as a teenager when I started getting really interested in science
井上知夏 yes the one in my family is very non traditional.
Me too now I become spiritual belief
My ISFJ husband can be very religious about his atheism. So...
I'm an INTJ (finally found after long analysis) but I can relate to ISFJ a great deal sometimes.
Great stuff as usual man.
Well... I'm an ISFJ and I'm also an atheist
Yeah, what he is describing is a very unhealthy type.
Yes and you all are even worse probably can’t keep many in your life isfj always go Atheist probably we’re abused as a child etc etc
@@themoonbleu627 What? XD
Atheism can be motivated be fear. Fear of being judged by a higher power, ect. Atheism has certain beliefs too, such as macro evolution (vast evolutionary changes, not small changes) life originated from random chance, ect. These are not provable theories. I'm agnostic and nearly every atheist I've met is closed minded about metaphysical possibilities. Intp out
@@Midnight_Rider96 just for your information on what we believe in, God which many different scientists have proven that God is real and the bible is accurate and proven to also be correct and we are now living in the book Revelations in the Bible is the last of the Bible and so far has been tracked an event happened in order and whoever wrote the Bible with guided by the holy spirit so there's Novus case are those false information in the Bible all the things that I've been in Bible has been proven to have happened and his truth because event happened already in the past and when did all the unbelievers in a chest will be very sorry on a judgement day and 620 of Jesus comes back to Earth to come get us you all will be scared to death and try and forgot to come get you out of hell where is the lake of fire is at in hell. All the unbelievers to atheist and everyone else who doesn't believe will be until early sorry so sorry there in God but he cannot hear you that's why you didn't help at all can you deny him and he said I'll deny you in heaven and your Name is not in the book of life because it was blotted out and maybe it was even in there together or maybe it was I'm not sure but I'm just seeing you all know that the Bible and God is real is improved by many scientists May atheist safe Noah has not yet it has I had all the food in the world but see you guys want to see the pooper here it says you have another question to ask you contradict the Bible atheist you mean it looks like we should be doing something that's that's bait or something and you were worshiping nothing like a doorknob or something but you know you're here by somehow something got to your right God Made You dinner or not you will need a trust me you're going there all you have to do is believe in God go to heaven and be happy and joyous and free with all of us Dead Leaves and you will to bleed if you just looked and open up your mind and look as if I had over mine or you're reading it and believe what you're reading is true there was truth I don't know how I can make you believe this I can but all they can do is have faith in God and have dreams that you'll be staying and you're going to heaven but Satan and his demons going to make a fire when God's ready and they all know that same Energy Missoula today is coming it's coming very fast on them that they don't have much time left to receive all of us Christians who believe in God that's who they say that you're not the easiest method unbelievers you need some alone Christians when I love him trust God doesn't tempt us to just like God or something or whatever or you something wrong or we won't be forgiven but guess what I supposed to know that Jesus died for us by his blood he shed for us the ultimate punishment for our sins because the wages of sin is death but since Jesus died on the cross and shed his blood and rose again 3 days later he was risen from the dead and is in heaven now by his father James Ray and God the father is right hand is his son Jesus just waiting for his father God tell him it's time for dinner Earth keep my children it's second coming we're coming to get you and I will be a judgment day of all the living and the dead and that will be for Destination Heaven or Hell For Eternity never-ending either Joy love and friends or comment and torment and torture the rest your life it'll be hell I'm talking about Heaven Is No More Tears no more sadness and joy and praise and glorifying happiness. Love time is nothing but positive energy the whole paradise and heaven instead of darkness and negativity far from God In Hell you'll be scared crying and weeping gnashing of the teeth it's horrifying tormented and tortured every second fraternity that sound like fun
As an ISFJ, I can relate both with the content of this video AND with other ISFJs in the comments that are unhappy with it. Yes, ISFJs have a natural 'dark' side that leads to revenge and punishment. As a kid, I vividly remember punching in the belly a primary school pal just because he didn't want me as his match while lining up by two. And another time when I destroyed my friend's lego building just because he was bragging it was better than mine. Revenge & 'justice' are wired in us. But this doesn't means that those behaviours are correct. Personality types are just starting points, starting ways to confront the world. Then it comes EDUCATION. OVERCOMING NATURAL LIMITATIONS. C'mon folks: did you really believe that ISFJs are sweet bubbles of sugar floating around? We are human beings. We can improve and get better! Your initial limitations are bound to be overcome by your perseverance, as long as you become aware of them. Don't forget that.
That is true, when I was a kid and was playing with my sister whenever I lost I remember getting angry an beating her, 'cause I couldn't win. Now I know I was a totally prick even though back then it seemed natursl for me to do it the way I wanted regarding of how and what my sister would feel. Today is more of a struggle with myself of judging people imediatelly and leading to bad conclusions. So I prefer to boil it in myself, only to a certain point. And the sad part is that I unleash my dark side with the people who I care the most and on certain ocasions is because I want to do it better in the right way. I get trapped sometimes that my way is the best and nothing else matters.
I have a dumb favor to ask
Could you make episodes about how to protect ourselves from the unhealthy version of every type , or not necessarily unhealthy, sometimes you are your parent’s or your employer’s subconscious, and that is big problem, I’m an intp , my mom is an isfj, she doesn’t like me that much 😂 , she likes my Estp brother more although I’m the one who respects her more
I'm an ISFJ and I'm a chaplain and training to be a trauma counselor. I do have a very high tolerance for mental and physical pain. I have a lot of faith and value the lessons of the past. The thing is I would be angry if someone tried to force someone to believe what I believe. I don't like seeing anyone being disrespected or forced to submit to something they don't genuinely believe, its repulsive to me. My faith has come from my experiences but I do recognize that those are my experiences. I don't believe anything ever without validating it and that's quite a process for me. Religion, in reality, is total chaos, so many rabbit holes to run down, so I don't know that I agree with your assertion that we prefer it for its stability or structure. I want truth whether it feels good or not. I do agree with you that an imbalanced/immature ISFJ is dangerous under the right circumstances. People need to matter more than facts. My husband is an ESFP and we do great together. You sound a little jaded.
I very much am jaded. Also a hypocrite.
Amazing! my boss is definitely an ISFJ now leaving the company due to fear of failure I suppose. He's very young, I suppose with more experience he'll learn to endure a few setbacks instead of throwing the towel in the ring?
Mm, good to know that ISFJs can learn to be open minded for other ways of thinking and planning more suited to the actual needs of the team.
I'm INFJ by the way. It definitely helps to not be lazy and constantly verify other people's claims. That way I've discovered that my boss has been using some less than ideal management tools for our small company. But now that he's leaving he's not going to learn anything new :(
I'm an ISFJ and wanted to thank you for making this insightful video. I don't consider myself very religious but maybe it's because I'm Buddhist and do not believe in dogmas. I try to remain open minded, consider myself politically aware, and though I harbor strong views on certain social issues, it's important to understand other perspectives. It's interesting to see the dynamic between the 'faith' and 'fear' vices and definitely see it in my goals involving work and school, especially with fear of failure. I don't want to disappoint others and try to put my best effort in causes and goals I care about with the ISFJ-like endurance you refer to. I've been learning not to be overbearing or jump to conclusions, and it's helped with my personal life. My closest friends are an INFJ and INFP, and they help me see through their lens as well. Thank you again, I've been following your videos and appreciate your insight as I've been growing my knowledge base with Myers Briggs as it relates to the cognitive functions.
jeffreylert all good, just remember MBTI is nothing more than a test. I recommend focusing on Jung, Beebe, and Berens for source material while leaving Isabel Myers out in the cold. Thank you for your honest comment
Whats the full name of these psychologists?
I’m ISFJ, and I totally agree with what you said, I was raised going to church but I don’t follow Christianity at all, I think it has too many rules and is too limiting on certain social issues. I do love to study about Buddhism though, it has really changed my life. I do believe that ISFJs have a certain faith in humanity, faith in love and kindness as a virtue
I am an ISFJ and most of what you are saying is spot on, eerily so... But... And this is a huge but... I have always been a ridiculously ardent fact checker. One of my most favorite past times as a young adult was theological apologetics. I may have just made up that term, but I never take things at face value just because someone taught it to me that way. I grew up Catholic, converted to Protestant-ism (Southern Baptist), have studied with Jehovah Witnesses - but I am always looking at what I believe and why I believe it, and analyzing if it makes sense in a bigger picture type setting, and even the most minute of details. And I would never, ever force my beliefs on another person, not even my children. I always taught my children that I would tell and teach them how I believed but that I always wanted them to have a mind of their own and explore and find their own beliefs. Even now, I am 47 and I am stil examinining and questioning and wondering and pondering. And if there is one thing I am 100% certain of it's that I am not 100% correct on anything. Religion is such a vast topic, how can any one person have it all figured out, it's impossible! I am also that way with my political beliefs. I feel that it takes all different types of political leanings to make a more round, robust political system. I tend to be very open to listen to and examine/consider all types of peoples (persons) opinions and view points. I actually thrive on it. Other peoples opinions challenge and refine my own. So maybe in this way I am not very ISFJ like, but I am, without a doubt, an ISFJ. Maybe you are upset with an ISFJ in your life that has shut you out? But not all ISFJ's are just alike, not all of us are close minded. Some of us are even very open minded. And even when I don't agree with someone else's world view my compassion tends to kick into high gear and I can truly and deeply care about (or even love) that person in spite of our differences.
they are open minded if they are ENTP focused.
Ok, this sounds like my friend that is possibly isfj
This is so my husband. He fought really heavily against me when I came to Christ and when I had a different view of what's wrong with the world (or anything else). It just challenged everything he believed in and he couldn't tolerate it. And it was even when I didn't actually verbally bother him with anything and just had certain believes inside my head that he wanted to rip them out of me and just wanted to run away.
But we both learned a lot.
So ISFJs can be religious about non-(or anti-)religious things, too. 🤷♀️
I really like your videos! They are full of content and feelings. I sense that you have had a hard, difficult life like me. Keep up the good work!
Thank you for the inspiration. I think I'm guilty of pushing my belief system(not religion, but still) onto my children too much. People are different and I should just hope for my children to absorb my good values instead of forcing them on them.
Lol I was afraid to buy vodka for cleaning out of fear I’d be seen as a lush…and yet people keep typing me Ne dom.
Replace every time he says faith or religion with impactful social experience that led to a principal that the ISFJ now lives by and often calls on for context of current experiences.
Immature ISFJ don’t confront people about these principles that people could be violating and let it slide a lot is there out fall.
The more mature ones may confront people but usually won’t out of fear that this principle could be shot down
well said
ESFP here with a possibly ISFJ mom. Me being her oldest she was extremely protective but to a point of actually giving me major self esteem issues and lack of social skills. Like when i was little she used to keep me inside and have me read all day or do Maths or something “safe” and wouldn’t let me go outside or go to children’s houses unless with her wasn’t teaching me to do anything like chores or anything as she did everything for me and then she always blamed me on how other classmates were so mature and independent for their age while i don’t know how to do shit. In 2019 i was on my 1st foreign country school trip for like a week and she was literally calling me all the time and i was drunk and wouldn’t wanna answer like that or i was either sleeping during the day cuz at night we’d have parties till morning and if i wasn’t answering she’d call my friends like 20 times and she still don’t understand why i want to move out so badly and study in another city or why whenever i am on a school trip for more days i never call
So similar to my Ma 😂😊
My mom is an isfj and did put her name on my car. She tried to use it against me. It kind of worked however I am very resentful. I love her though. I don’t tell her much because it goes to her head too much and she then justifies what she did as my mother. I know this comment/video is old but for whoever may still be watching…
Isfj are traditional in the ways in which they grew up. If they grow up in a very educated science based environments they will to have faith and fear in there ways. Please correct me if I’m wrong I know there is always exceptions.
Hold up. I have been sitting here trying to figure out my moms type and then came 17:13-17:43.
holy hell. mind blown. I love your videos I share them all the time. Thank you.
you are most welcome
Wow, very accurate. Your videos are really informative and this one helped me decide my type.
My mom is an ISFJ and she's a Mormon and she wasn't controlling with our faith as you describe.
this is good
I am an isfj by process of elimination, and I definitely identify with the "should" part of this personality. However, I find it disconcerting how much disdain you seem to have for this personality, I am very dissimilar to much of what you're saying. I am skeptical rather than blind Faith. I would much rather keep peace and keep my mouth shut than enforce my own belief system on others. I do not have strong ties to traditions, even though I do have a good memory. Is it possible I am something else? Or have you had negative experiences with isfj that colors your perspective. My strong sense of duty places me pretty squarely in that box, but I do not require others to live up to my own standard.
I am an ENTP, polar opposite of ISFJs. It is natural for me to speak of them with disdain, regardless of how fair it is. I will never claim that I am not biased. That being said, if you review all my ISFJ lectures, it is not always so critical. I am like a yo yo and I criticize some lectures and others I offer praise. I do this with each type. I hope you can see that.
I watched your virtue and vice video on entp (I'm trying to improve a relationship with an entp authority figure in my life, which is partly why I was so bothered by the thought of an entp having animosity towards my personality), and it was very enlightening. Your discussion of cognitive functions is SO helpful in understanding past the basics of the letters. Thank you for the insights, I will try using them to be less annoying to those opposite of me. Lol
you are most welcome
Had to stop at 18:42 to say your anecdotes mirror my personal experience. My mother, especially, seems to be an ISFJ. Later in life, she and my father converted from Lutherans to Episcopalians to Roman Catholics. Now they're more Catholic than the Pope (at least in their minds). Sadly for them, their efforts were wasted on their children.
To add, I've found myself behaving very similarly with Fi girlfriends who would shut off ideas to help their depression or related to our future.
To be fair, I was getting furious while listening to this (as an ISFJ and also a religious person, you know). However, at some point, I had to face the criticism. I should be taking more risks and I should be more open-minded. I really want to work on that in the future.
But I also have to defend myself. I never try to impose my belief system on others. Faith is the most important source where I get my energy from, but if someone else doesn't agree with that, that is totally fine by me. What's important to me is the human interaction. Quite a few of my closest friends don't believe in anything at all, but they're still my friends. I know they're good people, so why should it matter whether or not they believe?
Also, I'm quite fascinated how you can explain the mistakes and flaws we (ISFJs) make and simultaneously explain it in such an encouraging way. As I was saying, I was getting angry at some point and even wanted to stop listening, but in the end (and even now, almost half an hour later) I feel that I can trust my abilities again to become a better person and grow in those areas you mentioned. Thank you for that.
Excellent video. I wish I could give it a thousand likes.
I always say "if you really believe in something is true why you should be fear of talking about it or opening your mind to different experience "
Talking about openness , I'd like to invite you to explore Islam through its book and why we think it's based on logic, and what makes it the fastest growth religion in the world despite all the negative images and misrepresentation by media.
With all respect ,,
an istp
This answers my question. Not related to religion/spirituality. But, imposing/avenging belief system, even upon first meetings, and never verifying facts or getting full story. Very limited perspective, passive aggressive & phishing for information behind the scenes to execute skewed justice or exact revenge.
Actually the laziness/obstinance of quite a few traditionalists makes me want to quote Socrates' Dialogue: " Why do you believe that?" And go on a spree of questions just like Socrates did.
So much to say and again what to say... correct but again don’t put all in the same basket... Sorry if you ever felt someone made you believe something...because everyone should check for themselves.. I grow up in one religion and wanted to know the real truth- and I found it! But I don’t want to be like self righteous so, Ye.. truth is only one, so... Ye.. whatever...hope everyone will see the truth one day, love to all...🙏💋❤️
I'm an ISFJ Yogi-Witch 🧹 I practice religious rituals on a daily basis.
WOW !! You hit the nail on the head !
I’m isfj of course I go to church . Lol and I get sick of all these people trying to make someone else do something that they don’t want to do they should arrive to this belief only by seeing you live it out not by seeing you tell them what They need to do . That is the most effective way to push someone away from something really good ! But I used to not be like this ! I used to be the person to try to get someone else to do what I’m doing because you know it’s the right thing to do trust me .. lol . now you would have loved me because we had a lot of good times my friend 👍 but I see where I could have definitely gotten on some peoples nerves . But after a while I started to look into how people responded to the things that I said and I learned very quickly that maybe I wasn’t right all the time . And I just relaxed and let everyone do as they pleased . It really relieved my stress levels . And boosted my confidence . The fear factor is slowly being removed . I can definitely see as you where talking through this video. Ha !! With an open mind lol👌 that you where right . These tendencies actually are true .
Although like you said they only come out in fear .
I remember as I was growing up I was always afraid to do anything and I can see now that I’m 32 years old that I wasted a lot of my life by being afraid and just within these last couple of years I have slowly began to get rid of my fear .
I just set goals and one thing Led to another . And for me to accomplish my goals I had to read . And I know you know what happened after that I just kept reading and accomplishing my goals and the next thing you know I wasn’t in fear of making more goals . And failing, and making more goals and succeeding .
Now you don’t have to believe me but it is said :
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
But guess what it only works if you accept the relationship with your creator ! # with and open mind . And then HE renews your mind . There for being A new creation born of spirit . # getting saved and baptized . GOD changes you into a mature Christ follower . That’s when you become a real CHRISTIAN! But most just like you say just go through the motions and not really mean it and then of course force it on everybody else so all that does is put a really bad name on the church. because people know what is real and what is fake .just like you said forcing
Some kind of belief system on someone that they don’t even know what they’re talking about how can you know what you’re talking about if you haven’t done the real thing . Right ! Actions speak louder than words of coarse . Let the results speak ! So sorry had to go ISFJ on you for a bit lol.
But yes I see where . Like my mom she took the test and it came out ESFJ and for sure she will force you to go to church in a heartbeat. Lol .
But I thank GOD she did because I know she loves me and if my family wouldn’t have been so forceful on me, I may not have accepted the real thing and I wouldn’t be where I am now . I guess just love them where there at . And for sure Challenge us because it may just bring us to that next step . say maybe reading a book and improving our skills .
So I’m still working on improving myself to be the best I can be . And yes I want everyone to do what I’m doing but I’m going to stop myself here because this could get long . Lol plus I’m going to spare you from my wrath if you don’t do it the way I want you to do it ! Lol . Love it man you for real helped me understand this better thank you . 👍
Hey I’m planning a Family reunion you wouldn’t want to come would you ?
I'd disagree on ISFJs not verifying or fact checking. I think a toxic isfj might do that, but as you said yourself... Their sense of justice and their adherence to truth/being a defender won't low them to put up with false teaching etc.
Well at this point it’s obvious you’ve met my mother 😂
I’m and INFJ and I can’t understand why I don’t like my ISFJ friend anymore. She just gets on my nerves, she’s corney, and doesn’t understand me. She’s judge mental in a subtle way. I feel like a jerk, but I don’t know if I care anymore. I felt smothered by her for a long time.
my ex is ISFJ and yes, he exerted so much control to avoid something that he has caused it to happen
Hi, I think your videos are interesting. I agree with you on almost all of this. I don't think that fear should be a primary motivator, but when it comes to Biblical faith, fear of God is a real aspect. The congregation not associating with people who continue to a commit serious sins is a Biblical concept. There is something to fear in the Biblical reality which is to lose our life. We don't want people to live in fear, but if it saves their life is it not better that they live and realize the benefits later rather than potentially lose their life because they have no respect for God or what is right? I was raised a baptist. I am an ENFP. I became aligned with Jehovah's witnesses in college. I'm not going to say that they know everything. They couldn't. But, I know that while a parent should never be unloving or hateful to their adult (or young) child; there are Biblical reasons for them to limit their contact if for no other reason than to show what a broken relationship is like. God's feelings matter an d if a person has dedicated their lives to God only to willfully go against God, then they are treating God that way. So, it shows them the seriousness of it all. If I had a child who had this happen or decided to change their way of seeing and leave the faith, I would still treat them with love and respect. But, I would make sure they knew that my loyalty is to Jehovah first and Jesus second and then third. And Jesus said his mother and brothers etc. were those who did his father's will and not based on blood line. My husband is not a witness. He respects me By word and action greatly. Love and respect are always great. Still, I would never expect anyone to act like any person is more important than their relationship with God. Ultimately if someone rejects God, they are rejecting the one who makes them matter at all. Someone with faith should not delude anyone into thinking that they have innate value apart from God. At least that's not what the Bible teaches and they can take or leave that. But, we shouldn't pressure people to have our belief, but we need to be honest with them about the way that the Bible puts the end result for someone doing such which is missing eternal life. Whether someone believes that or not, they have the right to know what it says.
You mean they have the choice to know
That sounds about right. My sister and I were walking to school late and my older sister tried to imply we were ditching and called the cops on us. We got a ticket from the cop and the awareness my sister (ultra-religious) is sinister.
My father is an isfj!! Imagine that! Thank god I’m Lacking fi..
I want to believe that you are using religion as an example of structured groups that isfjs may join for structure, not saying isfjs are religious people.
yes, both
Excellent. Very interesting.
Honest question, what happens to an ISFJ if they have a falling out with their core religion because they accept the evidence procured by their Si experiences that they need to leave?
they will find a different belief system.
Or depression?
@@Lois_Unwordy My ENTP shadow made me laugh out so loud at that comment.
The topic of religious ISFJ's / SJ's is an interesting one and one I can relate to personally. My sister in law is LDS and is very pushy with her religion. She is, overall, a sweet, kind person, but very much 'overdoes' it with regard to religion and "inviting" others to join. She felt personally responsible that I did not want to be part of the church. A few thoughts she reported having--"I must not be living my faith well enough if my own family doesn't want to be part of the church." She is also not the type to really delve into her own beliefs to examine whether they are actually founded on something true or something fabricated by man (my own conclusions about a large part of the LDS church / doctrine). She is an ESFJ. My mom is an ISFJ. She is not pushy, but I know she also feels guilty, personally responsible that most of my siblings and I don't want to be part of organized religion despite being raised in a Christian family, etc. With both my SIL and mom it seems that religion is very much tied in with family, relationships and the culture even rather than a person's own actual beliefs about God, the doctrine, "bigger picture" ideas related to religion. I am an INFJ and do not consider myself religious, but do recognize the truth and value in certain stories, doctrines, etc. in most religions of the world. For me, it's what I identify with, what speaks to me personally rather than simply being part of a religion just because my family believes in it. For someone to think I don't want to be part of a church because they're not living the life of a "good Christian" or "good Mormon" is so foreign to me and so far from my reasoning for not being religious.
Thanks for the video! I've really been enjoying these.
Al R thank you for your kind words and support.
He describes an unhealthy ESFJ in his ISFJ videos. It just doesn’t describe us at all.
my mother is an ISFJ i had the same experience as you.
This videos has been really illuminating. I am an INFP myself, and I was in a relationship with an ISFJ woman. It was one hell of a roller-coaster experience trying to calm her fear down and trying to get her out of her traditional vibe.I mean her fear always gave me serious concern of whether or not this relationship was going to work out or not . It was weird for me though because supposedly I was the first guy she ever got intimate with. It was also draining because of my (NF) tried to make sure she was happy but she wasn't making it any easier for herself or me either. We separated now and I cut off all contact with her just so that I can get her out of my head.I mean , Do relationships between ISFJ's and INFP's really work? If so, what would an INFP need to do to avoid major clashes?
It was such a tiresome experience, It left me exhausted and wondering what the hell just happened?
At first, I delved deep online for answers and thought the issue was an issue of attachment styles. I thought it was a clash of different attachment styles: Her being avoidant and me being anxious.Yet, the more I delved into MBTI the more clear her patterns became. The issue is its just so confusing though. Is there a relation between attachment styles and the MBTI? What outlook should I have to clearly explain what the hell I just went through?
I would never recommend an INFP + ISFJ romantic relationship. Her Si was trying to extract Se from you that wasn't there, hence how tiring it was. The attachment styles are somewhat interlinked via cognitive functions but I will need to flesh that out more. Please watch my lectures on cognitive synchronicity in order to answer your final question.
C.S. Joseph , woow. Then what kind of traits would INFP usually need for a romantic relationship.
@@CSJoseph I'm scared now😭😧😱. Infp guy here... Just started a relationship with isfj girl that might end in marriage. Tell me should i run😱😱😱😵😵😵
@@athreephanx6956 hi! Got curious on what happened to you and your isfj partner😃
@@athreephanx6956 what happened? If you like to tell
Also, you may not be a Christian but faith vs fear will still be constant even if you are an atheist. The same principle still applies. Very honestly, this is just my “good faith”opinion here.
Btw way I am an infp with an isfj mom.
Define Christian. I serve the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
As a side note, your descriptions for ISFJs tend to sometimes mend too close to mommy issues. I'm pretty sure you're already well aware of that though huh
certainly, but watch the other ISFJ lectures before leaping to judgment
You must have issues with ISFJs; you sound really angry with 'em
watch all my other lectures, you find a similar tone with each of them
ISTP196, don't take it personally. C.S. Joseph sounds angry with all the types. But that's just because he's an ENTP, so he examines things critically and logically without a lot of empathy getting in the way. Don't let yourself be turned off by his style - if you listen to what he says, his logical approach makes him one of the best MBTI resources on the internet. He has some great insights!
Like with INFJs for example. Very pushy video. But the comments there are quite different. All the INFJ love it. 😂
I also need to get pushed. I often tend to think others need that too. Not sure if that's really the case. 😅
But I also don't like sermons that go like 'oh it's all good and Jesus loves you, you can just relax. '
I prefer them like 'Stop being a coward, walk in the Holy Spirit and OBEY WHATEVER it is He tells you to do!' ❤️
So I'm thankful. 😄
My ex girlfriend is an ISFJ. She loved the image of the woman with the hemorrhage grabbing the tassel of Jesus’ clothing that she might be healed. Perhaps that Biblical character was also an ISFJ. That was Faith
My ISFJ gf always says she wants to kill me but she says it jokingly. Is there any subconscious will to this?
If fear (
Curious, when you switch into your unconscious/subconscious, do you also take on that types virtue and vice? Even if it is at a lower level than that type as an ego?
Why are all these comments about him having issues with Isfjs I’ve never been hurt by and Isfj I’m estp and learning these types I agree with this Isfj too stubborn and very annoying negative Nancy’s but they are givers and that’s pretty much the only thing I enjoy about them
Semper Fidelis, but make it count :)
How is it possible that an intuitive can see into the workings of a sensing type? Just because the cognitive mechanics seem good on paper doesnt mean thats exactly how it works. Human psyche goes deeper than just skematics on a sheet of paper
To be specific, Ali used rope a dope (as a primary strategy) in one bout only: Rumble In The Jungle.
yep
scary accurate !
God is sovereign
The mother you mentioned, you said multiple times before that she's an ESFJ. Why did she become an ISFJ in this video?
No that was my grandmother
Thanks for the insight! You said you have an ISFJ subconscious and I’m having trouble understanding what you mean. Are you saying that your subconscious can have a different personality type? If so, how do we go about finding out?
I just realized that you were walking in a circle lol
What was that in the end? Don't you care about not scaring ISFJs? I was expecting something like that but not like that!
*Well I am sorry but Im just scarable
Lol, Btw, I must be the ISFP bullshiter, very unconscious focused irl tho. I couldn't notice me being wanting-todo anything I want. It's just I thought I am lazy and being criticizing myself for it, comparing to other people. I am actually scared or fearing the other people critsizeing me about anything, short logically. Like Ne inferior user with me being Ne trickster I feel scared the most because, apparently I don't see anything externally bad coming. That manifests like you said once, being afraid of the dark and it's scary things.
My sister is an ISFJ and she has shown a fair bit of her control freak nature already. I think my ex-wife was an INFP, but she might have been an ISFJ.
Are infp and isfj so similar?
✋ infp with isfj mom and oo boy the nightmares
my aunt has fallen ill with covid today and your insights have helped me soothe my mom. thanks.
I agreed with you when you were talking about our strong Faith. But lost me when you got to the FEAR part.
In order to see true light you must be willing to risk the dark
Also, notice you said you "had" been in relationships with people with different views. Meaning, it didn't last. ISFJs know in the long run it won't work (unless it's a non deal breaker difference) and their practical side won't allow them to invest any further into something that is a dead end.
Correction Friend😁 The *person* most important to me is *JESUS*
It's not about "the church" for me, it's about Jesus First🙏❤
I am sorry you don't trust God but know that He is always willing to have you home again. Peace be upon you in Jesus' Mighty Mighty Name!🤗🤗🤗👑 He does not require for you to forsake all that is not harmful to you- only that which is sucking your life out for eternity and beyond. Think about it My Friend. Think about it!
Thank you for challenging me to walk in faith👍🏼😊
I made the bank account in my name haha, they thought they could control me with a joint account
Hmm, then my friend is not an isfj.
Well now I just feelbad for being INFJ lol
I think any religion can be dogmatic and whatever personality you are that follows the faith believes it’s the only way and believe others would be better off if they followed the faith as well. ISFJ’s may be traditional and blindly follow as well as responsibility for their loved ones faith but the more extroverted types in general the leaders are catalysts for shouting their faith from the roof tops. I do think ISFJ virtue is faith but you could’ve stretched this out to cover faith in other areas besides religion.
Leah Fast you’re right I could have, but religion is the easiest target and affects the majority of layman’s watching this vid. This is why I decided to focus on religious belief systems.
20:35
What about atheist ISFJs ?
Faith can be in oneself too.
Defends traditions
Dominates faith sphere
Endurance, hope
High moral standard
Info keeps them from being afraid.
Focused on safety and justice.
Enforces beliefs on family
WAAAY too much focus on religion. what about politics? credentials? authority? ALL of these things are informed by ISFJ faith. this is too personal for you.
im not worried about it being too personal, my channel and thus my approach. I am not here to make people happy.
@@CSJoseph my comment wasn't about making me happy. it was about accuracy, applicability, and credibility. if you meant the things you said in your welcome video, that should matter to you, and you should be able to receive a little bit of criticism with greater maturity than you have chosen to demonstrate here.
I get criticized all the time.
Dude… that’s not isfj… that’s just dysfunctional bullying and it has nothing to do with type. Sheesh!
2:10 that aim broooooooooo!
I wish your ISFJ subconscious had a more open mind with me. The blocking was unnecessary. Have some faith in me.
ISFP who doesn't drink or smoke. Was hanging out with cousins I hadn't seen in over a year, who were drinking and smoking. Somewhere along the way I ended up in the background of a Snapchat video they posted. ISFJ sister calls me minutes later, outraged that I would dare mingle and be seen with such people. Apparently me being there would ruin my image because other people would think I drink and smoke. People who know me know I don't. People who don't know me aren't concerned about whether that random girl sitting in the background is right or wrong for drinking and smoking or not. Just one small instance of many, but the ISFJ alienation is real.
Perhaps you were responsible to inform her first before taking that action
My ESFJ mom behaves the same way!! But having my Ti hero makes her cry out. I dont like shattering her belief systems. But i just can't do what she says. How can i be creative enough to get along well with her??
Sankalp Bhardwaj she is your polar opposite. At best you can pretend to care about her beliefs and traditions.
2:06 WTF was that?
may be just an Fi child thing, but i find that offensive.
the opposite of Faith is not Fear.
The virtue of the ISFJ is Reason
The vice of the ISFJ is Faith
Ti - Child should be taught to reason.