Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 มิ.ย. 2024
- Insecurity spoils relationships. Insecurity drives people to become too 'clingy' or needy and this creates problems.
In this video I'll talk about why feeling insecure in a relationship is natural (up to a point), why relationship insecurity happens, and what to do if you can't stop feeling insecure in your relationships.
If you found this video helpful then please click 'like', and remember to subscribe for more tips like this.
All references and sources from this video can be found on the original article on my website here:
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Watch our quick, 60-second explainer video on how relationship insecurity works here:
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If you're feeling that you're driving your partner away through insecurity but can't seem to stop, try my recommended course '10 Steps to Overcome Insecurity in Relationships':
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About Mark Tyrrell:
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++Video highlights++
0:00 Introduction
0:07 Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships
1:25 Relationships: A security issue
1:57 Are you seeing problems where none exist?
3:16 Tip 1. Stop confusing imagination with reality
4:47 Tip 2. Avoid the Certainty Trap
6:11 Tip 3. Give the relationship room to breathe
6:39 Tip 4. Stop 'mind reading'
7:33 Tip 5. Stop comparing current relationships to past ones
8:47 Tip 6. For security: Seek self-assurance
9:50 Tip 7. Focus on the good
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i have to watch this everyday so that may subconscious mind absorbs it.
I was thinking the same thing
me too
Yes
Me also ❤
💯
This one hits home. In my current relationship, I am struggling badly accepting the fact that he loves me and has chosen to be with me and I can’t understand why. So yes, I am dealing with some insecurities right now
I also feel like social media causes us to doubt.
Tiktoks like "signs your partner is cheating"
"If they dont talk for a day they have someone else"
Please dont feel too much into them
I deleted my TikTok today for that reason
It really is so toxic, even my gf agrees that tik tok is cancerous for that stuff.
I had gone through my girlfriend’s text messages from a few years ago (yes I dug deep into her conversations) and I found explicit messages between her and some other men… for months I was convincing myself I was to be hurt by this, but then I learned I’m the one causing the pain. She wasn’t actively talking to anyone else while we are together, however I tried to convince myself she was up to no good. I judged her on her past and it increased my insecurities.
Now I know I am worth it. Don’t give a damn about her ex’s and know what I want out of my relationship. In this I process I gained respect for her, but more importantly, myself.
Congrats brother
I recently got in a relationship with a wonderful girl, she is so loving and caring, but my insecurity keep rising about her going out with her guy friends, i trust her but i dont trust and i think everyone is gonna try and take her from me
This feeling is unbearable
And i cant find a reason for her for choosing me over them
I watched this video everyday for a month and it worked, my anxious thinking about my relationship did a 180. I could even say that this video worked too much cause I’m very nonchalant and carefree now , I haven’t picked a fight with my bf in months and we haven’t had any problems. Mark has really helped me, thank you much love ❤️
Hope same gonna happen with me
Few days ago,,,my memories from my past relationship got triggered,,it was all about insecurities and even tho everything is fine in my current relationship,,,my mind is almost certain that she might cheat on me someday,,,even saying this hurts me alot coz I love her so much and she is obviously not someone to do this,,,just thinking like this pains me more TT,,,,Can you be of some help for me in this 😔😔
Great, I am rehearsing too❤
I just cried through this whole thing like it was a therapy session
Same
Same (2)
Man i have seen everything, but your point actually works
This video has made me look differently at the way I think and behave. It's very helpful and has given me valuable insight. I'm most grateful.
My deceased husband cherished the ground I walked on. I miss that. I have to realize I cannot compare this relationship to my current relationship. Thank you for this video. I fear of being alone.
For the record, it happens when your older , I'm 53 and my mind is loud.. I'm not jealous , but it creeps in, my excuse is I love her so much , I'm waiting for something bad to happen, because why the fuck should I be happy.....I've got to learn to stop listening to my mind, thinking things that aren't real, that's toxic. This video made sense and I could identify with it all.......its all about self worth !!!!!!!!! Don't do it , don't flip the coin.
Great video, subbed.
bar
Me ruining a great running relationship with insecurities that TBH she didn't create. So annoyed that it's pushed her away and it's creating even more insecurity. She doesn't wanna break up at all. Just wants time to get over issues and here I am just adding more problems.
This video is so on the nose yet it's hurting my heart even more. It's reaffirming a lot of what I've already known, but it's painful because I literally just don't know how to pull myself out of these torturous thought patterns which keep on cycling. My partner is on a backpacking trip right now and we won't be together besides one or two short visits for months. We can't always regularly talk because he's in and out of service. So I just keep finding myself obsessing over his instagram, who he's following and pics he's liking... Also creating these scenarios that he's meeting other women on his trip who are more attractive or interesting to him. I've expressed that I've been feeling emotional and insecure since our relationship is feeling more long distance and he is reassuring, tells me he'd be honest if his feelings change but they haven't. Even hearing this doesn't feel like enough, I just want to see with my own eyes that I'm not being betrayed. I've been letting it distract me from other important things which just doesn't feel healthy in so many ways... I want to change so I can maintain a healthy relationship and feel more mentally well within myself but it's hard knowing where to start.
Have you found yourself being wrong many times?
Because I have. I basically kept doing the same things.
Searching for evidence of something that doesn't exist.
You're amazing and the need to not be certain gives you a sense of peace which causes the relationship to truly flourish in a beautiful manner.
You have something special which is the reason he choose you to be his officially.
Nothing can change that and no one else has what you have. Nobody else is you. Even with those little insecurities and all those doubts. Look how He's still sticked around.
Your relationship deserves a chance.
How have you been doing meanwhile? I would love hear about your journey!
Any update? I’m curious how everything went for you
@@mataveli_this is where I am too :(
I have such a hard time differentiating between my insecurities and my gut instinct. Or is it even my gut or did my insecurities drive them away to what I predicted would happen?
A good test of this is to ask who told you the thing you’re believing? If you told it to yourself, it’s probably an insecurity manifesting in your mind. If someone else told it to you, it is likely a real thing.
@@JeanMachine17 wow, that is very helpful actually.
Beleive me I am experiencing the same ,,,, my insecurities are telling me that she would cheat on me in the future no matter what and this pains me so much coz this is so much irrational to her and coming from someone who loves her so much,,,, my insecurities are feeling like it's my gut feeling and it's for sure going to happen ,,, please help 😔😔 (The one thing I don't want is to lose her and losing myself in the process TT)
@@tsukkispeaks1055 So much pain. I hope you feel better. I deal with the same. 😢😢😢
I recently got in a relationship with a wonderful girl, she is so loving and caring, but my insecurity keep rising about her going out with her guy friends, meeting them and calling them actively i trust her but i dont trust them and i think everyone is gonna try and take her from me
This feeling is unbearable
And i cant find a reason for her for choosing me over them
Absolutely amazing. I'm in a bit of an 'unusual' situation, my BF and I are in a long-distance relationship. I don't know if these tips can apply here, I believe they do because I was just like this with my ex, which we would see each other almost every day.
I'm naturally insecure. I've been insecure all my life, I gradually developed anxiety issues, which I believe it also doesn't help on my jealousy.
I love him a lot, I'm afraid to lose him because we're so apart from each other. He just said he's out with some colleagues after work for drinks, I'm dying inside. "What if he finds another girl?" "what if he realizes that this is not the way to go?" *what if, what if, what if*
I loved your video. It felt like you were reading my mind.
I do want to be in control, I do want to know what he's thinking, I do want to know if he really loves me, I do want to know if he really wants to be with me, I do really want to know if we eventually will live together and be a happy family. The NEED for control, is what kills me. I never show him this side though, because I know its irrational, I know I shouldn't be feeling like this.
Another thing you mentioned is "picture yourself in his position", damn yeah. I love to hang out with people, I love to meet new people and talk and go for coffee.
I don't understand my need to have so much control, maybe it has do to with what you said at the beginning? Past "trauma" in a relationship. Maybe. I can't know for sure. Its so natural of me to think this way that I don't know what triggered it in the first place.
I do say to myself a lot "if it doesn't work, it doesn't!" but I wish I could believe those words more. I love him to bits and I'm so happy when we're together.
Thank you for the tips, I wrote down all of them + a few comments from you. Even if this relationship doesn't work, I really need to keep working on my mental health.
Cheers, subscribed!
This is me so much..
Even texts phone and phone calls when I send him a message I always check everyone now and again if he's seen it or if he's online but ignoring me and if I see his read my message but did not respond, I immediately think he doesn't want to talk to and he's talking to someone else he is more interested in and I'm just bothering him and brings up the very same things I went though in my last relationship which turned out that something sneaky was happening and I get so much anxiety that debilitates me
@katlegoblake4897 Same here Katie.
It's awful 😢
My guys hides his online status.
Not good for people like us.
I’m a nervous flyer, so that was a really good point. Any little sound that sounds off I’m looking around freaking inside, same thing when it comes to my dating life.
Wow I feel like you have been watching me. This is spot on. I have a lot to work on
How has it been going? :) I just saw this video and I am curious as to how it has worked out for others :)
Tyrell is so smart and unflinching! I am having a similar reaction to other viewers: wanting to watch his videos over and over to absorb his ideas and help my mind improve. Thank you so much,
Thank you! I am feeling very insecure in my relationship and I know I going to mess it if I continue doing this.
Thank you very much for this video, I reaally neede to hear this. I have been struggling with being insecure and I have gained a lot of knowledge from this video.
Perfect time to hear this rigth now. Thank you!
Wow man. That was just excellent! I am going to listen to this every day. Thank you so much for making this and putting it out there to help people like me🙏
your videos are the best I've found so far!!! thank you I struggle with this so much😰😰
Wow this really sparked a shift in my brain and way of thinking... Thank u!!!
I'm a new subscriber, and I find the way you present ideas and situations very helpful, and new to me! Thank you and will keep watching /learning :)
This video took me by surprise. The points made were so different from other talks. Thank you Mark, for coming from another perspective. ❤
Very helpful. I’ve been working on it for a while, had to listen to this again and again, practice breathing too.
Have you overcome your feelings? Your words definitely help me out of this situation
Great video. Thank you! These are the points we all know consciously or subconsciously, but the clear and calm way you verbalize them is SO MUCH appreciated.
That was amazing and so wise. You put it in a way I couldn't do it by myself. Thank you!
Love, thank you Mark
Iam struggling with insecurity I believe my thoughts and I feel my partner is getting bored I love him and iam educating myself on this
Thank you so much!!!!! Omg!!!!! This video is very good!!!!! Thank you!!!!
This man described me perfectly but i am getting alot better...thank u so much sir for this video....stop confusing imagination with reality was spot on
This is honestly the best on point video Ive seen soo far .
This is the best relationship advice I have ever come across; it has improved my relationship considerably. Thank you so much.
so good! thank you
This was really helpful, thank you.
This is absolutely great information!! The best advice compared to the other's I watched.
Thank You so much Mark ♥
Thank you Sir now I understand what was my mistake and why my girlfriend is behaving the way she is now. I appreciate your hard work for the video.
Self-assurance will be my challenge- but will definitely work it through - awesome tips
This video is simple yet insightful. Definitely helpful
Great advice. Thank you very much!😊
absolutely love your talks...
Great information! Thank you!! This really helped me.
Great points, thanks for that! I'm feeling much better now :))
so soothing. great video. thank you
This man is a blessing
Uncommon knowledge for sure. Kudos Mister
Best listen I've had in awhile
This made so much sense to me
Thank you sir! God bless you for this teaching.
My struggles over the years! Has been answered! On point! Thank you so much!
Same here
So helpful, thank you
Truly the best video regarding this topic.
Thank you Mark
Thank You Mark, I shall remember and listen again on order to not !❤
👏👏 this video hit the spot. 🥺
Absolutely fantastic. I’m watching this every morning until I can recite it
Wow this is extremely relatable
Thank you 😊
If you're dealing with insecurity in your relationship please get help and do the work. I have empathy for you and I know you can do it. I've been driven away a total of 2 times from people u cared about but I just couldn't deal with the control and insecurity. I found out that I am completely uncontrollable, and no one can project their insecurity unto me. My dream come true is to be with someone who loves me to where I'm free , and I promise you I will not betray that. I've been searching my whole life for it.
Thanks.!
Thank you
I felt that I had been making a lot of progress in my relationship concerning my insecurities. However before watching this I was convinced that he was not paying enough attention to me and he had an intimacy problem. Perhaps it’s me grasping for control and certainty.
very good video. thank you
Brilliant video x
Thank you ❤️
Awesome insight excellent job
This is great! Thank you..
My Kind Hearted, Agreeable Boyfriend will appreciate that I learn this..
Amazing thanks
Well as I'm watching this my relationship ended today morning and it was because of insecurities 😭😭😭. I'll do better next time 🥺😭
Soo on point I had to subscribe
Everything was spot on. Great advice. I was Emma in my relationship but I'm putting in the work to make my relationship better. I also had to subscribe
This was hard to hear but spot on
This video really made feel better soo much , i need to watch it everyday until i really get ride from my i insecurity
Thank you so much
thank you 🌹
Wow great info
Great video!
RAhmad 💗
thanks
Brilliant video
This is so on point sadly lol
on point!
This helps me a lot and I’m gonna try to listen to it every day because this is ruining my relationships and I know it’s not what I want.
I’m carrying the pain from my last relationship. I don’t know how to stop that
I see all my flaws and how I’ve treated my partner badly and I love him so much but when I’m in a situation where I get jealous I react irrationally. The second I have a jealous thought, I lose. Am I’m aware of what I’m doing but I just can’t fight it. Idk how to change it.
Me too🥺
Thank you so much 🙏
This may sound like it should be straight forward, but do you have any more guidance on how exactly to distinguish reality from imagination? This is a huge challenge for me, and doubting my perceptions and conclusions ends up being yet another source of anxiety.
YES stop asking what I’m thinking 🚫
Something on your mind?
Exactly
I think watching this daily is a good idea for me as well….
I did it to my self
mind reading is killing my relation life
does this tips apply also to situation, when i found out she is “cheating on me” (she was texting to another guy that she desires him and i am like a burden for her) then she told me she is sorry, that she didnt mean to do that. I love her so much so i forgave her but now i constantly feel like she does not love me and i dont trust her. Am I right or should I just let it be? My reasons for that are also: she does not texting/calling as often as she did, she used to even cry when she had to leave my side and now she gave me just cold kiss, said I love you turned away and entered the train, posting pictures of herself on social media more than usual and she feels more like “dont touch me too much” Am I paranoid or what is happening?
If an insecurity is creating some conflicts with a friend, do I communicate that with them and let them be aware of the insecurities I had which led to those conflicts? Will this help to resolve things and move forward?
These behaviours you describe are they not personality disorders?
This material acts as a catalyst for growth and new perspectives. A book with like-minded subjects transformed my outlook. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
Security is also a mutual relationship, CAN NOT be with someone whom you make secure but that does not make you feel secure.
Security is jointly built in a relationship
I want to talk with my wife with someone like you. What is your theraputic style called, or is this just your individual flavour?
❤️❤️❤️
❤❤❤❤❤
What after 30 years you meet up with your first love though and it's like we were never apart????
Then go for it .... IF you are not hurting your current partner !
There’s always gonna be temptation if you always go for it then you’ll never be in a long term relationship