This is why age appropriate sex education is soooo important. Teaching children consent and where the line between appropriate and inappropriate exploration is prevents this from happening!!!! She's also a primary example of how NOT teaching children about sex doesn't actually prevent them from exploring these things!!!
Literally. I think most of us have played house and were curious at that age. I’m me and my friends would hide in the closet. Thats why these conversations need to be had with adults. And not shamed and hidden in religion. Otherwise it does lead to more because your self esteem is lowered like B said.
💯 I can almost picture her LISTENING TO SOMEONE ELSE with the sole purpose of saying HER part, HER points, and lots of “FOR ME....” 😒 she is not good at interviewing 😆
Couldn’t agree with you all more. She is the person who’s not rly listening, she’s waiting for her turn to talk. ESPECIALLY when people are talking about such heavy things they’ve been through it comes off extra yucky to say the leastttt. Disingenuous is the best word I can use like I said above. Even the voice she’s using. It was such a sharp, quick pivot to the Christian influencer redemption arc it’s hard for me to fully believe in it. I do believe God can save & change you, I’ve had experiences like that in my life where He got me through hard times. She just goes overboard trying to use the spiritual language like saying stewarding 100x in every video. Just seems inauthentic.
How can they defend their religion so fiercely when it forces 6 year olds to feel this kind of guilt. This is INSANE. Like you said, it’s normal to explore your body. It’s on the parents to DE-shame and educate so children don’t grown up with this kind of trauma. It breaks my heart.
Snarker here! I’m one of those who has posted recommending your videos. Your voice is original and very unique. You’re one of us and we would not be the same without you!
Thank you both so much! 😭💛 the subreddit helps me keep up on Brittany which I really appreciate since she blocked me lol. So this is a mutually beneficial relationship!
Bdong lies so much! She was NOT living alone for most of her 20s, she was with her high school boyfriend who she married until almost 30! Then she was single for like 3 months, got a boyfriend named Niko then a few months went by and she met her current husband. She’s been alone for like maybe a year in her 20s collectively. Also knew she was anti lgbtqia+ but hearing her say thoughts of being gay came from the pit of hell and that marriage is for one man and woman made me so insanely angry. Your beliefs shouldn’t regulate other peoples lives. Thank you B I couldn’t listen to this on my own or I’d throw things, I so appreciate your kindness and acceptance of others even thought you are a religious person ❤
I feel bad for the second woman. I agree with you B, what did her mother say to her that she wasn't given some help if she felt so much shame. I was thinking a purity culture shame spiral.
I hope that Brittany finds peace surrounding whatever happened to her as a child. Having said that, I hope she never passes sexual shame onto a child whom she might raise and discover exploring their body and experiencing normal development, whether that is by themselves or with safe, consenting friends their own age. Lord, I PRAY she never casts shame upon someone else's child who might engage in normal consenting exploration with a child that Brittany might be raising.
Its kind of sad that they believe that exploring your body automatically leads to sleeping around and entering this cycle of shame. In my experience, I think I would've been more likely to try to find fulfillment or satisfaction in other people rather than myself, but that's because I never believed self pleasure was shameful, and my upbringing nurtured my self-esteem. It's most definitely a case by case basis, and perpetuating shame increases the likelihood of a negative outcome.
I agree with you 100%. Also, it is worth noting that if a child is told over and over that exploring your body automatically leads to sleeping around along with the adult perpetuating shame, then of course it’s gonna happen because they are told as children that this will happen to them and children believe who their parents say they are.
Right? And also, when children are young, body exploration isn't really "sexual". It's more like learning about their own bodies, what they feel like, what they do, etc. Education is so important, and to have everything our bodies can do be boiled down to 'sins from hell' is just so weird and dismissive.
Something about Brittany comes off so disingenuous to me. It’s like she’s learned the lingo, she talks in the calm, whispery voice but as someone else who believe in & trusts God something feels so off to me. In her words spirit sees spirit. I wish I didn’t feel like that but it’s always what I’m left thinking. Have a great week talk. 🙏🏼💜
It’s pretty obvious she is disingenuous. She had a scandal and lost fans. She pivoted to target another fan group. Ray Higdon is doing the same. This whole “saved” schtick is age-old. Canceled people have been doing it for years and years.
Seeing you get choked up with gratitude for your audience in the beginning is so sweet. I’ve been watching your channel for about 2 years and have truly enjoyed every video of yours. I’m an atheist and a lot of the other content creators I watch are atheists or ex-believers, so I find SO much value in your channel. I find myself agreeing with your perspective on many aspects, and on the things we disagree, I appreciate the way you deliver your message. Sorry this comment is so long and rambly, I just want to let you know how much you’re appreciated B! The hard work you put into your channel/podcast really shines through and I can’t wait to see where you go!
Hasn't Brittany been married to Jordan for around two years? Also, Maddie stopped "sleeping around" at the same time she met her husband. I'm driving the point that their "freedoms for sexual sin" feel more like systematic changes and not active choices to implement change. I would stop sleeping around if I got in a committed relationship, and I would limit or stop "exploring" if I was married. To me, it's equivalent to saying I stopped getting speeding tickets, but in actuality, I just stopped driving all together. I'm not practicing safe driving, I just avoiding the problem. Its just unclear to me (I only say this because they are acting like they cracked the code to overcoming these "problems") what they did to stop "the problem" other than using their husbands as a wall to avoid the problem. Unless I missing something. My win for the week is that I got mt new glasses.
I’m REALLY frustrated that they’re acting as if these moments of exploration with peers were sexual abuse. I understand the confusion and shame that can surround moments like that. But they’re putting so much evil and shame on little kids who don’t even understand! Also, I had a moment like that at a very young age, and if that person “confronted” me about “sexual sin” I would be SO weirded out.
I am a high school teacher and many of my students are fundie/evangelical Christian. So many of them are naive. A nurse friend said that if children know the common terminology and not slang for their anatomy, they are less likely to be abused. So, discussions about who can help you in the bathroom or childhood “explorations” are so important. Shame about bodies leads to abuse; talking about bodies prevents it….
This episode really puts on display why women specifically who have grown up conservative Christian have so many issues & feel so much shame, to this day. Big part of why I had to bail on it...why would you want your people to be miserable? (That's something I've never understood about many religions)
They have to convince people they have a problem that only religion can fix. And keep them feeling guilty in order to control them and keep them coming back (and giving money!)
Girl I'm barely ten minutes in, like you said, and I was heated too. Brittany acting surprised that moms are struggling with loneliness?? Like come the fuck on, does she ever listen to anybody except herself? OMG!! And it basically screams how unprepared she is for motherhood. Like honey if you aren't aware that moms are lonely, what else are you unaware of?? Everything?? And as a mom, I'll just say, I have community with lots of other moms for emotional support. But even so, there are plenty of times even in my own house and family, that I feel lonely or like nobody understands me or my needs. And that's with a completely hardworking, kind, supportive partner! Britt is in for a wild ride with a partner like Jordan, who I'm guessing isn't going to be the ultimate companion who has mastered emotional regulation and sharing of the mental load. I'm rambling. She's outrageous. Woof
I hope if Maddie went to therapy, she’d go to a secular one so someone could teach her about normal human development. She’s about to have a wakeup call watching her kid grow up.
Omg I was literally in the middle of typing “I’d love to count how many times Brittany says “l”…” when you said you felt she’s been making this whole thing about herself 😂😂 Maddie was so overwhelmed to talk about all of this and Brittany just used her as another voice to talk over and try to make herself sound better. Again. I can only imagine what ran through Maddie’s mind after she got off the rush of that call and fully processed what actually happened; I hope she was ok. I don’t at all agree with her conclusion that masturbation is this inherently horrible thing to be ashamed of, but it was obvious that her feelings on it affect her deeply.
I've had a great week but I think my win is hearing how your followers support and love you--you deserve it and are a kind, smart, God-fearing voice in a space too-often filled with snark and pettiness.
it’s actually really gross to me that she’s like “enough women don’t talk about this stuff” ,, but the reason they don’t is because they feel shamed for it, and the way she discusses it and refers to it as such grave sin is DIRECTLY contributing to the shame that stops women from feeling safe to speak about these things
Oh gosh Bdawg doesn’t care if her guest is alone.. she cares about being the center of attention. I fear for the poor kid, that she might birth. 😢so many narcissistic traits…it also makes me curious what her own mother is like?
Touching yourself isn’t sin. Stealing from people is, manipulating the internet for money is. This woman should find a real job. This is mind blowing and infuriating at so many levels
Not to be insensitive or sound non-trauma informed but does this feel like they’re creating an issue out of normal human development to explain away their joy found in non-marital physical pleasure?
Shame is a taught behavior especially regarding self-exploration. I will never get behind people who say self-exploration is s3xual sin because those are the same people holding fast to purity culture then wondering why “godly” couples struggle with s3x and the like. You cannot prop up purity culture, all of the double standards it holds, and the power imbalances it perpetuates then turn around and GENUINELY wonder why none of you know how to properly navigate physical intimacy. Self-exploration is natural, necessary, and a completely normal part of life. If you feel shame it’s because you’re taught to by purity culture, societal culture, family values, etc. Just really tired of these fundie Christians trying to talk about stuff their culture directly condemns then turn around and be like “this isn’t talked about enough. Why?” Perhaps it’s because they only ever see it from one perspective, the shaming one. Maybe if we stopped shaming women for getting to know themselves their men will know how to please them better and so many of them wouldn’t be so suppressed and uptight about physical intimacy. Thank goodness for you B because listening to Brittney bulldoze her guests without you to mediate would be hell for me.
my win: meeting my brothers girlfriend today! they don’t live near me and my brother and i have had a rocky relationship over the last few years so i’ve unfortunately never met her before. she’s pregnant now with their first child together, a girl, and i am SO excited to be an aunt. it’s brought my brother and i a little closer (i’m the only one he’s told the baby’s name). they’re in town to watch the super bowl with my parents and i , so i’m looking forward to spending some time getting to know his girlfriend ❤
I'm going to be very candid about my own experience as a child. I was a victim of CSA daily in kindergarten. Daily. I hated it; I hated him; I hated myself. A teacher caught him and her response traumatized me further. The person who did it was a boy younger than I was. It happened with 2 different children; one per year. I repeated kindergarten and a girl child did it one year and a boy child did it far more severely the second year. Those two things were small things in a life full of trauma. I had no way to know what was being done to me; I didn't even have the names for the parts involved. I've got a trauma therapist and a psychiatrist and have been in treatment for 15 years. Just like with adults, the key is consent. At 5 or 6, normal sexual development may include discovering certain things feel good and exploring your and others' bodies. With both children, there was no consent and started a shame cycle I am just now breaking out of. I do not blame the other children involved. They both likely had non-consensual sexual experiences. I just wanted to reiterate that csa can occur between children, even young children just as it can occur between adults of the same age. The key is consent-or lack there of-that differentiates a fun and growing experience and something deeply, deeply wrong.
It is so hard for me to listen to Brittany's near constant whispery "mmm"s and "wow"s "yeah"s directly into the microphone when someone else is talking, I feel so rude pointing it out but it was so distracting for me
My mom had horrible CSA trauma that she never dealt with and as such could not stand any sexual expression in me or my siblings. She would scream and call it dirty and disgusting. THAT is what broke me, not the normal behavior I was doing. Attitudes like this about childhood experimentation enrage me because I know they are likely to put this shame on their daughters even if not as bad as my mom did
As a fellow christian I love how in your content you show how we are not all Fundie; that we may have our own choices from faith but it is none of our business telling others what to decide. Thought you comments on this were spot on.
I’m struggling to listen due to Brittany’s breathy, continuous, airy, and weird “yeaa” “yeaa” It also drives me absolutely nuts that these type of people don’t acknowledge the shame and struggle is COMING FROM the religion. You wouldn’t have felt that way if it hadn’t been hammered into your brain from birth how shameful and bad these things are.
My win for the week is that i havent cried as much as last week and that i started therapy again. It's still hard, but I'm so proud that i can recognize these small wins
It feels weird for me with my biggest secrets I kept from everyone being inflicted by others (mostly adults) and having walked away from the faith that makes knowing your body shameful. The way they beat themselves up over something that I now know isn’t sinful in the same way I felt guilty for not fighting for myself when being sa’d is so sad for me.
Brittany has lost all credibility in my eyes, which makes it difficult when sensitive topics like this podcast episode are shared. She constantly overrides my feelings of compassion with cynicism.
The shame and guilt hold the trauma. Instead of empathetic parental guidance and education about healthy boundaries these children were taught shame and guilt.
You know, some kids who are naturally curious about their own body wouldn’t feel so confused and ashamed if there was some kind of health/sex ex type of talk. Brittany and her guest don’t even realize purity culture is the cause a lot of their inner turmoil around “sexual sin.”. It’s almost a self fulfilling prophecy in this case. It’s so sad they’ve thought at one point their “sexual sin” was the cause of their miscarriage. Their whole interview is one big ad for comprehensive sex ed and talks about human development, privacy, boundaries, anatomy, etc from a young age.
It's WILD to me that masturbation is a sin, but allowing your male partner to do whatever THEY wish with YOUR body isn't. I'm not religious, so I don't really understand that take. According to them, you have a perfect vessel given to you by god, but you can't do what YOU want with it? It's for someone else? WILD.
Control. Also attraction to someone besides your spouse - even just in your mind that you never act on - is considered adultery by people with these extreme values. So doing it imagining even an abstract person is considered bad. Also God forbid women know what pleasure feels like 🙄 She might expect her husband to do something she likes...
i’m laughing through this episode which might be so insensitive but these women are equating their trauma to their completely normal development. no y’all, the trauma is from your insane religious beliefs.
Win for the week: I’m back in the dating game 😂 after a couple of years of not putting in that effort. I’m really proud of myself for putting myself out there. Now I’m off to join the BD Reddit 😂.
That thumbnail tho! 😂 Nailed it 👏🏼 If I knew how to use reddit I'd be shouting from the rooftops about you too! You are such a kind, thoughtful, honest, genuine person & I'm so glad I found your channel ✨💛✨ x
Their voices are so similar, i have trouble distinguishing the two at times. Definitely felt that brittany tends to take over the conversation. And I would have liked to hear more of maddie's story.
I really hate the word “womb”. Gives me the creeps. The “enemy” can have it for all I care. Not every woman wants to be a mother which is a foreign concept to BD and friends.
Your videos are a highlight B! I would be sooo curious for Mickey to review this episode from a therapist perspective, and to talk about normal child development and how this plays into it. I really think these women are so weighed down by imposed shame that leads them to find a Satan/devil reason to explain why they had these experiences.
I want to write a novel. I just deleted 3 comments as i was giving my own running commentary. I really related to this podcast. I empathise witht BD and her friend about the childhood peer sexual abuse. Maybe you could call it playing house, but it made me feel horrible.. Im gonna stop it there, but i really enjoyed this video, B. ❤
This was definitely a complex episode to tackle. I actually think it’s good that she brought Madie on to share her experience. I may not agree with either one of them regarding certain aspects of our faith but I can appreciate that they are at least opening the door to conversation about this! And I am so sorry you went through that experience, sending you virtual hugs💛
42:36 I’m genuinely confused about what is going on. I feel so bad for her and I really hope she can get help because clearly this has seriously impacted her, there are licensed therapists and psychiatrists that are also Christian if she is concerned about secular counseling or something. I can tell she’s been impacted deeply but I can’t tell what actually happened, are they upset that they played house when they were all girls? I thought something more serious happened to them and if that’s the case someone please let me know.
Brittany's "soft" homophobia is really irritating in this one. On top of what you already discussed, dancing around the term gay/lesbian when talking pornography, correcting herself to add "if you're a man of course" when talking about the listener husband "or wife", as if women couldn't have wives... I doubt many lesbians listen to her podcast, but I can't imagine how invalidating if feels to hear her say those things.
I was born in a very religious catholic family. Not gonna lie I was a lil traumatized by it. Still sticks with me. I always felt I was going to hell for everything I did lol. I still have certain points I believe in, but I'm choosing not to raise my own 3 children that way. Morals are one thing and very important. However, I don't want them being insecure or ashamed. I'd rather they decide their own spiritual paths and just do my job raising good humans
Just to add to comments about how awesome you are- I look forward to your uploads every week. I love that they are always long because my favourite thing is to put on your newest video and lay on the couch with my 3 month old baby while she takes a nap ❤️
The fact that they frame this under "secret sin" exposes why real sex education, child development and education is needed. They are both so confused as to what it is healthy exploration, child development and why having healthy conversations is so important. Also, guess what, if you are gay, it is ok. You are wonderfully and beautifully made. Anyway, all I hear in this thing is total ignorance of sexual growth and what is or is not sin. So sad but also scary AF.
I love your humble heart in regards to what people say about you. I love that it made your smile while acknowledging that no one had to say anything but your so thankful that they did! My win for the week is I just wrote the first full script for my podcast and I plan to record it soon to hopefully get that out on Monday! Love watching your content B! Keep it up! ❤
I have a similar abüsę background as BDong and her guest. Relative my age who forced me to do things and coerced me not to tell. Happened over a period of years and I blacked a lot of it out. Definitely led to issues that I finally started to unravel in trauma therapy. I don't think it messed up my womb though; I am very fertile, I just...don’t want kids 😂 As an aside: I do not miss the compulsive oversharing and demon blaming from these hypercharismatic circles. Having a physical reaction when sharing deeply traumatic events with others is not the devil derailing you ffs. Wholeheartedly agree that the guest needs to speak with a professional. Especially as her daughter reaches the same age she was when that happened to her.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, but I’m so glad you don’t consider your womb to be cursed over something you didn’t have control over. This podcast was so triggering to me as someone who has also experienced rape and that it was difficult and challenging and I needed therapy, not some podcast airing out my issues. It’s so unhealthy for these podcasters to think they’re “helping people” by opening up wounds and not having the professional background to actually navigate those conversations in a professional way
@@eldermillenial6335 I'm sorry for you as well 😔 And I am sorry that you were triggered 💙 And I agree--her guest could have very well sent herself into another spiral after hanging up. There is a reason why even skilled therapists don't ask for you to lay it all out there at the start. A lot of times our bodies literally cannot handle recalling traumatic events; our brains forget for a reason! This was just handled so poorly. And running around telling other women your sexual trauma under the guise of "sharing your testimony" is a horrendous idea 😭
I will thank again my mother's grandfather, who, upon being preached at about original sin, declared "My daughters are not sinful!" and walked out of church with my grandmother and great-aunt, circa 1903.
B, just wanted to say again how much I LOVE your content! Getting the TH-cam notification that a new video is up is always a highlight of my day. Thank you for all the effort you put into this channel!
her yucky feelings about her experience with her friend seem to be rooted in shame and internalized homophobia :( just speaking from my own experience as an ex-christian. but definitely not trying tk make assumptions about her experience, her feelings now matter just as much as the ones then.
In regards to when to label something as sexual abuse or not at young ages. I think it has a lot to do with intention. If this friend had malicious intent and knew she was taking advantage of her then that is different then two kids not understanding what they are doing due to lack of education.
I hate to say this but why does Brittany have to make herself the victim in everything? Something traumatic happens to someone, she follows that up being saying "Oh well something similar happened to me too and it was SO traumatic." She inflates things to make them bigger than what they seem to make herself the victim, which is crazy since SHE is the one that has traumatized ppl and even then she had to go and make it about herself
I actually only heard of your channel from the Britney dawn subreddit and all the comments praising your videos on her! I’m so glad I found your channel
I dislike when people conflate sexual development with sin. Sexuality, especially for women, is tied to so much to shame in Christianity. And that shame creates a deep disconnect from Christians and their bodies and pleasure. There’s so much I want to say about the content they covered. I think you handled it well. Thanks for this video!
AHHHH not the "feelings for women" being "lies from the pit of hell!" Like the homophobia/biphobia was subtly in the background the whole time, but GIRL
I really wish I heard the guest talk more. I feel like Brittany monopolized the conversation and made it about her. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone taking the stance of playing house as a kid lead them down the slippery slope.
This is why age appropriate sex education is soooo important. Teaching children consent and where the line between appropriate and inappropriate exploration is prevents this from happening!!!! She's also a primary example of how NOT teaching children about sex doesn't actually prevent them from exploring these things!!!
Yes, yes, yes, yes
"It started at such an early age!" Yeah, that's called nORMAL HUMAN DEVELOPMENT.
💯
Literally. I think most of us have played house and were curious at that age. I’m me and my friends would hide in the closet. Thats why these conversations need to be had with adults. And not shamed and hidden in religion. Otherwise it does lead to more because your self esteem is lowered like B said.
@eteauxx7704 yes, exactly!
Seriously. Fetuses masturbate in utero. They must need to repent from their hideous sins, right? 🙄
She ‘interviews’ people but for every sentence they say she says 5-10. She has a hard time not making things about her & it’s so irritating!
💯
I can almost picture her LISTENING TO SOMEONE ELSE with the sole purpose of saying HER part, HER points, and lots of “FOR ME....” 😒 she is not good at interviewing 😆
Yes, the interjections are so annoying. Even the “mmhmm, yeahs” are really irritating.
YAH. Yahhhhhh. Yah yah…. Yeah . YA yah yahhhhhh
..”but for ME”
Couldn’t agree with you all more. She is the person who’s not rly listening, she’s waiting for her turn to talk. ESPECIALLY when people are talking about such heavy things they’ve been through it comes off extra yucky to say the leastttt. Disingenuous is the best word I can use like I said above. Even the voice she’s using. It was such a sharp, quick pivot to the Christian influencer redemption arc it’s hard for me to fully believe in it. I do believe God can save & change you, I’ve had experiences like that in my life where He got me through hard times. She just goes overboard trying to use the spiritual language like saying stewarding 100x in every video. Just seems inauthentic.
That breathy "yeah" she does.... I just can't😂
I was looking for this comment. Can't listen without laughing at her yeahs
It's very gross.
I copied her saying yeah like her, and my wife said ‘please stop’
Just came to the comments looking for this exact comment 😂
This so reminds me of listening to my parents’ small group house church
How can they defend their religion so fiercely when it forces 6 year olds to feel this kind of guilt. This is INSANE. Like you said, it’s normal to explore your body. It’s on the parents to DE-shame and educate so children don’t grown up with this kind of trauma. It breaks my heart.
YES
It's so sad and scary that they think normal responses to recounting trauma like shaking and crying are "the enemy trying to silence them"
The "enemy," is their catch all for anything they dont want to held accountable for.
B., oh my gosh. The THUMBNAILS. These are getting better and better. 😂😂😂
Thank you 🤣
Cracked me right up
I keep missing them ha then have to go back!
Agree 😂
Took the words right out of my mouth, honestly comedy gold
WFTW: my 8 month old is crawling and sat up by herself for the first time this morning!
Snarker here! I’m one of those who has posted recommending your videos. Your voice is original and very unique. You’re one of us and we would not be the same without you!
I told B before she was really popular in the Snark subreddit 😀
Thank you both so much! 😭💛 the subreddit helps me keep up on Brittany which I really appreciate since she blocked me lol. So this is a mutually beneficial relationship!
I’m a bdong snarker too! I love our little Reddit family 😁
Bdong lies so much! She was NOT living alone for most of her 20s, she was with her high school boyfriend who she married until almost 30! Then she was single for like 3 months, got a boyfriend named Niko then a few months went by and she met her current husband. She’s been alone for like maybe a year in her 20s collectively.
Also knew she was anti lgbtqia+ but hearing her say thoughts of being gay came from the pit of hell and that marriage is for one man and woman made me so insanely angry. Your beliefs shouldn’t regulate other peoples lives.
Thank you B I couldn’t listen to this on my own or I’d throw things, I so appreciate your kindness and acceptance of others even thought you are a religious person ❤
My wftw was returning to work with a promotion and raise from 6 months of maternity leave and not breaking down from the emotions that comes with it
I get way too distracted by Brittany in the background going “mmmhm” or “yeah”. Like just let the other woman speak.
I feel bad for the second woman. I agree with you B, what did her mother say to her that she wasn't given some help if she felt so much shame. I was thinking a purity culture shame spiral.
Snarker here. Only listen to her podcast through you 😂😂😂😂❤
Same. Misery loves company.
Thank you…I’m glad we’re in this together 😂
I hope that Brittany finds peace surrounding whatever happened to her as a child. Having said that, I hope she never passes sexual shame onto a child whom she might raise and discover exploring their body and experiencing normal development, whether that is by themselves or with safe, consenting friends their own age. Lord, I PRAY she never casts shame upon someone else's child who might engage in normal consenting exploration with a child that Brittany might be raising.
The way she talks about normal sexual development as an “inevitable shame” breaks my heart.
Its kind of sad that they believe that exploring your body automatically leads to sleeping around and entering this cycle of shame. In my experience, I think I would've been more likely to try to find fulfillment or satisfaction in other people rather than myself, but that's because I never believed self pleasure was shameful, and my upbringing nurtured my self-esteem. It's most definitely a case by case basis, and perpetuating shame increases the likelihood of a negative outcome.
I agree with you 100%. Also, it is worth noting that if a child is told over and over that exploring your body automatically leads to sleeping around along with the adult perpetuating shame, then of course it’s gonna happen because they are told as children that this will happen to them and children believe who their parents say they are.
Right? And also, when children are young, body exploration isn't really "sexual". It's more like learning about their own bodies, what they feel like, what they do, etc. Education is so important, and to have everything our bodies can do be boiled down to 'sins from hell' is just so weird and dismissive.
Something about Brittany comes off so disingenuous to me. It’s like she’s learned the lingo, she talks in the calm, whispery voice but as someone else who believe in & trusts God something feels so off to me. In her words spirit sees spirit. I wish I didn’t feel like that but it’s always what I’m left thinking. Have a great week talk. 🙏🏼💜
No I totally get what you mean. I'm super agnostic but even I get a really 'off' feeling about how she talks about her faith
Totally agree. She is so dangerous to Christians especially new Christians or younger Christians.
Just like in her fitness days, she is targeting vulnerable people to take advantage of
It’s pretty obvious she is disingenuous. She had a scandal and lost fans. She pivoted to target another fan group. Ray Higdon is doing the same. This whole “saved” schtick is age-old. Canceled people have been doing it for years and years.
@@ChristineCavaliermany prisoners do it too
My win: my daughter who i have a rough relationship with asked me if I would change my last name to hers. 😭💕
Wow!! What a meaningful question, that’s so sweet 💛
Seeing you get choked up with gratitude for your audience in the beginning is so sweet. I’ve been watching your channel for about 2 years and have truly enjoyed every video of yours. I’m an atheist and a lot of the other content creators I watch are atheists or ex-believers, so I find SO much value in your channel. I find myself agreeing with your perspective on many aspects, and on the things we disagree, I appreciate the way you deliver your message.
Sorry this comment is so long and rambly, I just want to let you know how much you’re appreciated B! The hard work you put into your channel/podcast really shines through and I can’t wait to see where you go!
Hasn't Brittany been married to Jordan for around two years? Also, Maddie stopped "sleeping around" at the same time she met her husband. I'm driving the point that their "freedoms for sexual sin" feel more like systematic changes and not active choices to implement change. I would stop sleeping around if I got in a committed relationship, and I would limit or stop "exploring" if I was married. To me, it's equivalent to saying I stopped getting speeding tickets, but in actuality, I just stopped driving all together. I'm not practicing safe driving, I just avoiding the problem. Its just unclear to me (I only say this because they are acting like they cracked the code to overcoming these "problems") what they did to stop "the problem" other than using their husbands as a wall to avoid the problem. Unless I missing something.
My win for the week is that I got mt new glasses.
I’m REALLY frustrated that they’re acting as if these moments of exploration with peers were sexual abuse. I understand the confusion and shame that can surround moments like that. But they’re putting so much evil and shame on little kids who don’t even understand! Also, I had a moment like that at a very young age, and if that person “confronted” me about “sexual sin” I would be SO weirded out.
I am a high school teacher and many of my students are fundie/evangelical Christian. So many of them are naive. A nurse friend said that if children know the common terminology and not slang for their anatomy, they are less likely to be abused. So, discussions about who can help you in the bathroom or childhood “explorations” are so important. Shame about bodies leads to abuse; talking about bodies prevents it….
Shame leads to silence, and silence can enable abusers to do horrible things without being caught
Absolutely why age appropriate body/ access/ consent education is important from young age
Also, can’t wait to hear how Jordan throws her “secret sin” back at her down the road. I just know he’s brewing on it.
I could never get through her material without you--thank you for bringing this to us
This episode really puts on display why women specifically who have grown up conservative Christian have so many issues & feel so much shame, to this day. Big part of why I had to bail on it...why would you want your people to be miserable? (That's something I've never understood about many religions)
They have to convince people they have a problem that only religion can fix. And keep them feeling guilty in order to control them and keep them coming back (and giving money!)
Girl I'm barely ten minutes in, like you said, and I was heated too. Brittany acting surprised that moms are struggling with loneliness?? Like come the fuck on, does she ever listen to anybody except herself? OMG!! And it basically screams how unprepared she is for motherhood. Like honey if you aren't aware that moms are lonely, what else are you unaware of?? Everything?? And as a mom, I'll just say, I have community with lots of other moms for emotional support. But even so, there are plenty of times even in my own house and family, that I feel lonely or like nobody understands me or my needs. And that's with a completely hardworking, kind, supportive partner! Britt is in for a wild ride with a partner like Jordan, who I'm guessing isn't going to be the ultimate companion who has mastered emotional regulation and sharing of the mental load. I'm rambling. She's outrageous. Woof
I hope if Maddie went to therapy, she’d go to a secular one so someone could teach her about normal human development. She’s about to have a wakeup call watching her kid grow up.
You crying made me cry! Thank you for educating, entertaining, and just hangin out with us. LYMI!
Omg I was literally in the middle of typing “I’d love to count how many times Brittany says “l”…” when you said you felt she’s been making this whole thing about herself 😂😂
Maddie was so overwhelmed to talk about all of this and Brittany just used her as another voice to talk over and try to make herself sound better. Again. I can only imagine what ran through Maddie’s mind after she got off the rush of that call and fully processed what actually happened; I hope she was ok. I don’t at all agree with her conclusion that masturbation is this inherently horrible thing to be ashamed of, but it was obvious that her feelings on it affect her deeply.
I've had a great week but I think my win is hearing how your followers support and love you--you deserve it and are a kind, smart, God-fearing voice in a space too-often filled with snark and pettiness.
I’m glad you’ve had a great week! 😊
And thank you so much for saying that, you are far too kind!!
The thumbnails have me cracking up 🤣 actual art!
My wftw is that my son finally got his adhd diagnosis and was able to start treatment and already told me he feels better in school
it’s actually really gross to me that she’s like “enough women don’t talk about this stuff” ,, but the reason they don’t is because they feel shamed for it, and the way she discusses it and refers to it as such grave sin is DIRECTLY contributing to the shame that stops women from feeling safe to speak about these things
Oh gosh Bdawg doesn’t care if her guest is alone.. she cares about being the center of attention. I fear for the poor kid, that she might birth. 😢so many narcissistic traits…it also makes me curious what her own mother is like?
I never know how to feel when people like Brittany Dawn start talking about "sexual sin".
My win is that I ordered my EZ pass this week and I didn’t feel the need to text my parents that I did right away😂feels good
As someone that is no longer Christian. Love the thumbnails, and I appreciate your takes.
best thumbnail yet!!
Thank you!! I liked this one a lot 😂
Agreed!!
Touching yourself isn’t sin. Stealing from people is, manipulating the internet for money is. This woman should find a real job. This is mind blowing and infuriating at so many levels
Agree so much with u
@@embera.1202 I can’t even look at her face. She makes me ill
Hm after listening further, I disagree with the guest that self-pleasure is a sin. All these extra rules that people come up with is exhausting.
Not to be insensitive or sound non-trauma informed but does this feel like they’re creating an issue out of normal human development to explain away their joy found in non-marital physical pleasure?
Shame is a taught behavior especially regarding self-exploration. I will never get behind people who say self-exploration is s3xual sin because those are the same people holding fast to purity culture then wondering why “godly” couples struggle with s3x and the like. You cannot prop up purity culture, all of the double standards it holds, and the power imbalances it perpetuates then turn around and GENUINELY wonder why none of you know how to properly navigate physical intimacy. Self-exploration is natural, necessary, and a completely normal part of life. If you feel shame it’s because you’re taught to by purity culture, societal culture, family values, etc. Just really tired of these fundie Christians trying to talk about stuff their culture directly condemns then turn around and be like “this isn’t talked about enough. Why?” Perhaps it’s because they only ever see it from one perspective, the shaming one. Maybe if we stopped shaming women for getting to know themselves their men will know how to please them better and so many of them wouldn’t be so suppressed and uptight about physical intimacy. Thank goodness for you B because listening to Brittney bulldoze her guests without you to mediate would be hell for me.
It kind of concerns me that they're likening these things to "sexual sin". :/
Also just found out my cousin follows Brittany Dawn. 😞
oof that’s rough, buddy
my win: meeting my brothers girlfriend today! they don’t live near me and my brother and i have had a rocky relationship over the last few years so i’ve unfortunately never met her before. she’s pregnant now with their first child together, a girl, and i am SO excited to be an aunt. it’s brought my brother and i a little closer (i’m the only one he’s told the baby’s name). they’re in town to watch the super bowl with my parents and i , so i’m looking forward to spending some time getting to know his girlfriend ❤
I'm going to be very candid about my own experience as a child. I was a victim of CSA daily in kindergarten. Daily. I hated it; I hated him; I hated myself. A teacher caught him and her response traumatized me further.
The person who did it was a boy younger than I was. It happened with 2 different children; one per year. I repeated kindergarten and a girl child did it one year and a boy child did it far more severely the second year.
Those two things were small things in a life full of trauma. I had no way to know what was being done to me; I didn't even have the names for the parts involved. I've got a trauma therapist and a psychiatrist and have been in treatment for 15 years.
Just like with adults, the key is consent. At 5 or 6, normal sexual development may include discovering certain things feel good and exploring your and others' bodies.
With both children, there was no consent and started a shame cycle I am just now breaking out of.
I do not blame the other children involved. They both likely had non-consensual sexual experiences.
I just wanted to reiterate that csa can occur between children, even young children just as it can occur between adults of the same age. The key is consent-or lack there of-that differentiates a fun and growing experience and something deeply, deeply wrong.
It is so hard for me to listen to Brittany's near constant whispery "mmm"s and "wow"s "yeah"s directly into the microphone when someone else is talking, I feel so rude pointing it out but it was so distracting for me
Wow, yeah. Praise god. Amen. Yeah. Wow.
My mom had horrible CSA trauma that she never dealt with and as such could not stand any sexual expression in me or my siblings. She would scream and call it dirty and disgusting. THAT is what broke me, not the normal behavior I was doing. Attitudes like this about childhood experimentation enrage me because I know they are likely to put this shame on their daughters even if not as bad as my mom did
Brittany was young and “didn’t know any better”, but is blaming another child who was also young and didn’t know any better…
As a fellow christian I love how in your content you show how we are not all Fundie; that we may have our own choices from faith but it is none of our business telling others what to decide. Thought you comments on this were spot on.
I’m struggling to listen due to Brittany’s breathy, continuous, airy, and weird “yeaa” “yeaa”
It also drives me absolutely nuts that these type of people don’t acknowledge the shame and struggle is COMING FROM the religion. You wouldn’t have felt that way if it hadn’t been hammered into your brain from birth how shameful and bad these things are.
I’m not sure if I’m reaching, but Brittany’s “yeah” & “wow” ‘s that she says sound so forced…
You're not reaching. 😖
The gal to compare her 9 days of fostering to motherhood. 🙀
Right?? 😬
My win for the week is that i havent cried as much as last week and that i started therapy again. It's still hard, but I'm so proud that i can recognize these small wins
It feels weird for me with my biggest secrets I kept from everyone being inflicted by others (mostly adults) and having walked away from the faith that makes knowing your body shameful. The way they beat themselves up over something that I now know isn’t sinful in the same way I felt guilty for not fighting for myself when being sa’d is so sad for me.
We adore you, B ❤
Brittany has lost all credibility in my eyes, which makes it difficult when sensitive topics like this podcast episode are shared. She constantly overrides my feelings of compassion with cynicism.
Same! It’s definitely tough to navigate 😬
The shame and guilt hold the trauma. Instead of empathetic parental guidance and education about healthy boundaries these children were taught shame and guilt.
Why is she blaming a child (who was also trying to figure out life & themselves) for the entirety of her adult life “sexual sin”? That seems gross.
You know, some kids who are naturally curious about their own body wouldn’t feel so confused and ashamed if there was some kind of health/sex ex type of talk. Brittany and her guest don’t even realize purity culture is the cause a lot of their inner turmoil around “sexual sin.”. It’s almost a self fulfilling prophecy in this case. It’s so sad they’ve thought at one point their “sexual sin” was the cause of their miscarriage. Their whole interview is one big ad for comprehensive sex ed and talks about human development, privacy, boundaries, anatomy, etc from a young age.
It's WILD to me that masturbation is a sin, but allowing your male partner to do whatever THEY wish with YOUR body isn't. I'm not religious, so I don't really understand that take. According to them, you have a perfect vessel given to you by god, but you can't do what YOU want with it? It's for someone else? WILD.
my win is that i been very busy which is a lot but its been so fun to be going out ^^
i'll never understand how people think masturbation is a sin
Control. Also attraction to someone besides your spouse - even just in your mind that you never act on - is considered adultery by people with these extreme values. So doing it imagining even an abstract person is considered bad.
Also God forbid women know what pleasure feels like 🙄 She might expect her husband to do something she likes...
Commenting for the algorithm but the thumbnails just keep getting better and better lol
i’m laughing through this episode which might be so insensitive but these women are equating their trauma to their completely normal development. no y’all, the trauma is from your insane religious beliefs.
I look forward to your videos every week! I love listening while I paint or do some chores. Thanks for all you do :)
Brittany’s extra whispery “yea” and “wow” is SO cringe.
Me listing to the beginning of Maddie’s story, we’ve been married the same time and have a daughter the exact same age 👀😂
If I had a $1 for every time britany says yeah, I’d be rich
Win for the week: I’m back in the dating game 😂 after a couple of years of not putting in that effort. I’m really proud of myself for putting myself out there.
Now I’m off to join the BD Reddit 😂.
That thumbnail tho! 😂 Nailed it 👏🏼 If I knew how to use reddit I'd be shouting from the rooftops about you too! You are such a kind, thoughtful, honest, genuine person & I'm so glad I found your channel ✨💛✨ x
Their voices are so similar, i have trouble distinguishing the two at times.
Definitely felt that brittany tends to take over the conversation. And I would have liked to hear more of maddie's story.
I really hate the word “womb”. Gives me the creeps. The “enemy” can have it for all I care. Not every woman wants to be a mother which is a foreign concept to BD and friends.
Your videos are a highlight B! I would be sooo curious for Mickey to review this episode from a therapist perspective, and to talk about normal child development and how this plays into it. I really think these women are so weighed down by imposed shame that leads them to find a Satan/devil reason to explain why they had these experiences.
I want to write a novel. I just deleted 3 comments as i was giving my own running commentary. I really related to this podcast. I empathise witht BD and her friend about the childhood peer sexual abuse. Maybe you could call it playing house, but it made me feel horrible.. Im gonna stop it there, but i really enjoyed this video, B. ❤
This was definitely a complex episode to tackle. I actually think it’s good that she brought Madie on to share her experience. I may not agree with either one of them regarding certain aspects of our faith but I can appreciate that they are at least opening the door to conversation about this!
And I am so sorry you went through that experience, sending you virtual hugs💛
My win of the week is going home to watch the superbowl with my parents ❤ I appreciate how nuanced and thoughtful you were in your commentary!
Awe B you deserve all the praise you get I love your thoughtful commentary.
42:36 I’m genuinely confused about what is going on. I feel so bad for her and I really hope she can get help because clearly this has seriously impacted her, there are licensed therapists and psychiatrists that are also Christian if she is concerned about secular counseling or something. I can tell she’s been impacted deeply but I can’t tell what actually happened, are they upset that they played house when they were all girls? I thought something more serious happened to them and if that’s the case someone please let me know.
Hey B! I love your channel. Watching your vids makes me feeling like I’m catching up with a friend over lunch. 😊
Thank you so much!! I always want my videos to have that vibe so I’m glad they make you feel like we’re just hanging out ☺️
Brittany's "soft" homophobia is really irritating in this one. On top of what you already discussed, dancing around the term gay/lesbian when talking pornography, correcting herself to add "if you're a man of course" when talking about the listener husband "or wife", as if women couldn't have wives... I doubt many lesbians listen to her podcast, but I can't imagine how invalidating if feels to hear her say those things.
PS: you nailed it and it said so well. They both are victims of institutional religion and the shame circle that they lived. Well done! ❤
Because of when you tend to upload, I usually end up watching you while I get ready for church.
The green room in your cabin. Girl be so for real😂
My win for the week: I accepted my very first teaching job at my dream school! I’ll be teaching freshman English and I’m SO excited. 🎉
I was born in a very religious catholic family. Not gonna lie I was a lil traumatized by it. Still sticks with me. I always felt I was going to hell for everything I did lol. I still have certain points I believe in, but I'm choosing not to raise my own 3 children that way. Morals are one thing and very important. However, I don't want them being insecure or ashamed. I'd rather they decide their own spiritual paths and just do my job raising good humans
Just to add to comments about how awesome you are- I look forward to your uploads every week. I love that they are always long because my favourite thing is to put on your newest video and lay on the couch with my 3 month old baby while she takes a nap ❤️
The fact that they frame this under "secret sin" exposes why real sex education, child development and education is needed. They are both so confused as to what it is healthy exploration, child development and why having healthy conversations is so important. Also, guess what, if you are gay, it is ok. You are wonderfully and beautifully made. Anyway, all I hear in this thing is total ignorance of sexual growth and what is or is not sin. So sad but also scary AF.
I love your humble heart in regards to what people say about you. I love that it made your smile while acknowledging that no one had to say anything but your so thankful that they did! My win for the week is I just wrote the first full script for my podcast and I plan to record it soon to hopefully get that out on Monday! Love watching your content B! Keep it up! ❤
I have a similar abüsę background as BDong and her guest. Relative my age who forced me to do things and coerced me not to tell. Happened over a period of years and I blacked a lot of it out. Definitely led to issues that I finally started to unravel in trauma therapy. I don't think it messed up my womb though; I am very fertile, I just...don’t want kids 😂
As an aside: I do not miss the compulsive oversharing and demon blaming from these hypercharismatic circles. Having a physical reaction when sharing deeply traumatic events with others is not the devil derailing you ffs. Wholeheartedly agree that the guest needs to speak with a professional. Especially as her daughter reaches the same age she was when that happened to her.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, but I’m so glad you don’t consider your womb to be cursed over something you didn’t have control over.
This podcast was so triggering to me as someone who has also experienced rape and that it was difficult and challenging and I needed therapy, not some podcast airing out my issues. It’s so unhealthy for these podcasters to think they’re “helping people” by opening up wounds and not having the professional background to actually navigate those conversations in a professional way
@@eldermillenial6335 I'm sorry for you as well 😔 And I am sorry that you were triggered 💙
And I agree--her guest could have very well sent herself into another spiral after hanging up. There is a reason why even skilled therapists don't ask for you to lay it all out there at the start. A lot of times our bodies literally cannot handle recalling traumatic events; our brains forget for a reason! This was just handled so poorly. And running around telling other women your sexual trauma under the guise of "sharing your testimony" is a horrendous idea 😭
I will thank again my mother's grandfather, who, upon being preached at about original sin, declared "My daughters are not sinful!" and walked out of church with my grandmother and great-aunt, circa 1903.
Now that’s an INCREDIBLE move 🎉
B, just wanted to say again how much I LOVE your content! Getting the TH-cam notification that a new video is up is always a highlight of my day. Thank you for all the effort you put into this channel!
her yucky feelings about her experience with her friend seem to be rooted in shame and internalized homophobia :( just speaking from my own experience as an ex-christian. but definitely not trying tk make assumptions about her experience, her feelings now matter just as much as the ones then.
‘Abuse’ and ‘innocent’ are mutually exclusive.
In regards to when to label something as sexual abuse or not at young ages. I think it has a lot to do with intention. If this friend had malicious intent and knew she was taking advantage of her then that is different then two kids not understanding what they are doing due to lack of education.
I hate to say this but why does Brittany have to make herself the victim in everything? Something traumatic happens to someone, she follows that up being saying "Oh well something similar happened to me too and it was SO traumatic." She inflates things to make them bigger than what they seem to make herself the victim, which is crazy since SHE is the one that has traumatized ppl and even then she had to go and make it about herself
I actually only heard of your channel from the Britney dawn subreddit and all the comments praising your videos on her! I’m so glad I found your channel
I dislike when people conflate sexual development with sin. Sexuality, especially for women, is tied to so much to shame in Christianity. And that shame creates a deep disconnect from Christians and their bodies and pleasure.
There’s so much I want to say about the content they covered. I think you handled it well. Thanks for this video!
AHHHH not the "feelings for women" being "lies from the pit of hell!" Like the homophobia/biphobia was subtly in the background the whole time, but GIRL
Oh my she was a baby. Is their religion making them feel this bad there is certainly time to run the other way.
I really wish I heard the guest talk more. I feel like Brittany monopolized the conversation and made it about her. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone taking the stance of playing house as a kid lead them down the slippery slope.