[Vinesauce] Joel - Windows Longhorn Destruction
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ธ.ค. 2021
- The OS that never was, sandwiched between XP and Vista, Longhorn never had the stanky internet treatment subjected to it, until now.
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Pov: it’s ww3 and your city is being nuked, but a lone Swedish fren takes your hand pulls you into his usb 5G shield to save you
USB MAXIMUM POWER DRAW MAXIMUM 5G PROTECT
But then 5g stands for 5gb and it's just a regular usb
POV:Norway
SWEDISH FREN
Take me by the hand
Lead me to the land
That you understand
I see your Sydney PFP, you cannot hide
Can’t wait for the day Joel crashes Windows by drinking 5000 cans of sprite.
*sprunk
he's gonna sprunk it
Sprunk'd
GET SPRUNKED ON
actually i bet leurak will write a program based off from sprunks
Imagine being Joel's children
"My dad is a doctor, what does your dad do"
"My dad made the internet lose their marbles with a purple gorilla"
A purple gorilla that datamines your computer that is..
lulz
"What?"
"He's a famous Twitch streamer."
"Oh. That makes more sense."
@@GooberInternet "Does he play Fortnite?"
@@Riolupai “nah he prefers purple gorillas”
@@bobbyonkazoo3512 "Purple gorillas? Sounds dumb lmao"
Not a single person in chat saw the " one smile per message" part
Implying twitch users read
@@MintyArisato Eh, impossible.
12:45 you know your antivirus is GREAT when it detects ITSELF as a threat and neutralizes it. Really looking out for your computer :)
The software equivalent to suicide basically.
im positive that happened in another corruption too lmfao
best antivirus
self destruction.
“Antivirus help”
“😂🔫”
The funniest thing about those "bioshields" is that they're just straight up a 128 mb thumbdrive with a LED light attached.
That's obviously because the quantum shielding technology on the drive is undetectable for regular computers .
I wonder if the people who sell these are JUST scam artists or genuinely think they work. I've been surprised before
@@SuperPerry1000 most likely the first preying on those who believe that 5G conspiracy stuff
I'd say they're definitely scammers, but Gwenyth Paltrow seems to honestly believe in putting rocks up your v for health, so maybe these two dudes think an LED blocks 5G signal.
What I want to know is where they tracked down that many 128 MB flash drives in 2020
as soon as he said “superantispyware, that has to be a joke,” i lost my mind because *that is the program i literally grew up using and my dad SWEARS by it TO THIS DAY-*
me too superantispyware in combo with malwarebytes was reviving many pc's back in the day!
Yep, my dad has it
Iirc it used to be legit but is falling behind nowadays
It’s a legitimately good for taking out adware and freeware. Quite a few companies use it internally.
@@theholy1191 just wish they change that name, because it does kinda sound like a weird scam
I mentioned the Yale school of arts website in my digital photography class, and my professor finally explained it.
It's a whole collaborative thing, where everybody has edit access. Students, faculty, alumni, hell, probably even the janitors, EVERYBODY.
And that's why it looks so pretty.
When we needed windows destructions the most, it came back
and it shall disappear for 5 years
now its time to wait
Win11 incompetence makes this timed really well too haha
I was coming here just to make this comment I commend you brother 😩
THE DESTRUCTION NEVER STOPS!
The Yale School of Art website thing is absolutely an in-joke for the art students. All of the enrolled students have access to change the BG of the site to whatever they want. I remember being shown it while I was in college for Graphic Arts. The one for that day was a Kirby Super Star sprite sheet lmao
I would tell people I have a Masters in speaking POYO
What are some of the highlights from the website?
For that one kid who just used Kirby... MY RESPECTS
Ok. Now flood it with vore and inflation.
@@aymuhspunj hubba bubba, now that's a different type of corruption stream.
11:45 "FREE FUCKSITE"
This sent my ribs into orbit 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Same
I thought he was joking, but a quick trip to google translate showed that it was legit.
@@costelinha1867knullsidor and knullsider (Norwegian) same thing...
Translates into "fuck pages" but with the context sites would work lol.
More specifically, Longhorn was the development codename for Vista. The idea was for the Longhorn project to serve as a midway point between Windows XP (which had been codenamed "Whistler") and the Blackcomb project, much like how their namesakes are the Whistler and Blackcomb mountains in the Fitzsimmons range, with Longhorn Saloon situated between the two. Unfortunately, both projects Longhorn and Blackcomb were quite badly mismanaged, with individual departments submitting entire builds unilaterally, and little if any consensus on what features are okay for Longhorn vs what should be held off for Blackcomb. Eventually, corporate got fed up, and in 2004 both projects were ordered back to square one.
i never knew why longhorn was cancelled. early builds of it seemed way better than any other windows version
Between those bioshields and the entire NFT shitshow, im starting to think being born with a conscious and morals is just life on hard mode.
Conscience?
Ask a few politicians.
you'd be suprised
Literal cringe take
@S! You
"Get god's free antivirus" so sad Joel missed that. Sounds like a weird antivirus.
@@Shark_Builds_Bro Forgive the pun, but thank God. It would be blasphemy to ignore that.
gods free antivirus finds that you searched for porn three years ago and manually rigs your computer to explode, killing you instantly
@@Calmasis_1025 Makes sure to heat up all your components first, to simulate the feeling of burning in hell for your sins.
It's blasphemy either way. Everyone knows God's one true OS is Temple, and nothing on Windows, Linux, or Mac can lay claim to being God's true anything.
Let the love of Saint Terry into your heart and hit the accelerator when you see federal agents today. It's real easy, they glow in the dark.
@@passingrando6457
"Thou shalt use TempleOS for all computing needs, unless thou has no realistic way of accessing it throughout legal and moral means. Those who cannot obtain the OS may use another OS but be careful they do not upset the lord."
-GenesOS 1:23
4:29 Goddammit now I really want to hear Joel's impression of his actual voice, GRRM has such a weird voice, it'd be great.
He sounds like nerd from randy prozac work
Yeee-eh-HEHEHEE
12:01 touching the microwave be like
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
man im always downloading viruses to my microwave on accident as well.
@@Hato_JoestarMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
@@Astral_Clayton MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBEEPBEEPBEEP
The occasional flashes to chat trying their best to save Joel was hilarious .
I think at one point for a split second, a message just showed up saying "cum" and nothing else.
:)
My best guess as to what the issue was is that the program didn’t recognise any message EXCEPT “:)” rather than messages that contain or the amount of “:)” meaning that only the messages with a single smile counted
@@hilotakenaka was there, thats what it was
@@awesomeyoutubehandlewowitslong Watched the video, that was outlined in the description of the file itself.
I kinda just want Joel to start doing funky browsing streams so we can still get great stuff like the 5G BioShield and the Yale School of Art without him feeling like he has to demolish a new OS to do so
its Jolel
So, Joel does dumb deep dives?
@@wumpus976 dumb dives, if you will
Seeing Joel do a just chatting or youtube night stream would be so surreal but i'd be completely all for it.
That’s why I used to love Cow Chop back in the day, James and Alex browsing random garbage on TH-cam.
1:21 I love his reaction to the price
DO££AR$!?
*_SEVEN HUNDRED FOCKEN DOLLARS_*
With taxes is gonna be 800
@@galladegamerletsplays*HAHAHAHAAHAHA WHAT ARE U SERIOUS*
sounds like markiplier
11:50 One of the best text to speech voices I’ve heard. Wonder where ARTAV got it from
It’s Microsoft Sam
@@markusTegelaneMicrosoft Slam
my roflcopter goes soi soi soi soi soi soi
@@pissandcornflakes9119 I didn’t know what that was until I just looked it up thank you for telling me of that masterpiece
The way Joel says “700 FUCKING DOLLARS?!” lives in my head rent-free
1:21
Thank you for specifying it lives in your head rent free, some of my embarrassing moments have to pay an embarrassing tax which is one braincell/zeptosecond
The funniest thing is that it was actually in pounds
Its「 𝘍 𝘙 𝘌 𝘌 𝘍 𝘜 𝘊 𝘒 𝘚 𝘐 𝘛 𝘌 」that kills me
The way Joel says "Oh No" after "Welcome Artav Antivirus"
The echo on that laugh was insanely ominous, beautiful
@Muura shut up
@Muura based
@Muura counter + your ass
Why's the toaster on social media all of a sudden?
hi whisper i love you c:
5:30 and that's how joel managed to take over bonzi buddy
12:56
When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you
Artav antivirus is LITERALLY the stuff from my nightmares. Ominous beeping, text to speech, suspicious amount of viruses? Oh Christ
What did you expect from IT School student who make anti virus for the first time
welcum artav antivirus
Just be glad it didn't say "soi" over and over.
Good thing that nightmare ended itself lol
I would avoid looking up "Navashield" since that is a particular nightmarish one
i keep on repeating joel saying "F R E E F U C K S I T E !", It just never stops making me breakdown in laughter. XD
Ming dynasty poosie has him acting unwise
Upon further analysis of the "bioshield" "USB", it is literally the end of a usb, not even a functioning usb, jammed into a cut crystal rock
4:47 the timing is just immaculate, really
I literally just binged all the other destructions. Couldn’t had come out at a better time
I just finished rewatching all the older ones mere seconds before this dropped
You binged them? I googled them.
Doing the same thing here 😁
Welcome to the cult brother
I binged them in 2018 or something. Good to have new ones; they're great.
I can’t believe Joel missed such gems as “Restoring Coherence of Atoms” and “Emitting Life Force Frequencies”.
what the *f u c k*
star trek technobabble combined with esotericism
finally, i was so tired of my atoms dissolving. the megatons of energy produced from the fission keeps destroying all my stuff.
life force frequencies? so what, does this protect you from the monsters from the movie Life Force?
there's also this great "review" of it from the tetimonials section
"Jun 1, 2020
‘I just wanted to let you know that a couple of nights ago I was attacked by the energy coming off of a 5G street lamp near my house. I had such bad leg cramps that I could not move. The Bioshield was on my nightstand and had not been plugged into an outlet for a few weeks. I asked my daughter to plug it into the wall outlet. About 15-30 minutes later the legs cramps subsided an allowed me to sleep the rest of the night.’ "
3:41 To explain, the yale school of art website is: "a wiki, meaning that every graduate student, staff person, and faculty member of the School can change this website's content or add to it at any time."
Its a pretty cool idea for an art school.
12:55 At long last, a comment I left on an older Destruction video became a reality for the world to see in real time.
You mean Vista?
I swear Joel could live his life amusing himself and never get tired of it.
That's what separates us from animals, the ability to entertain ourselves
@@TemmiePlays animals entertain too
Monke flip
@@namesurname4666 *Highlander starts playing*
That's disgusting
Joel could live his life amusing himself and WE'D never get tired of it.
*“Pros: Nothing in this program is good.“*
it’s that bad
-Marketing_SpeedUpPCTool
13:05 Cells after severe DNA damage be like:
1:00 yo is that the shield that gravity falls used? Damn, Stan made sure to commercialize that.
I can't wait for the day when Joel is so stupid that he forgets to disable "Shared folders", with his host PC, that he infects his actual PC.
I think the shared folder is read only so they could only read the data
@@namesurname4666 I don't think that would stop it from passing through the shared data folder into a whole new world. It would just stop it from infecting what's inside.
One day, somehow G-Data from my real PC blocked an Angelfire site on VirtualBox. Maybe because I had shared folders turned on?
@@CertifiedNEETClassic It kinda would, necessarily; if the folder is read-only to the virtual machine then the VM can't put data into it to begin with, preventing it from getting data outside the virtual environment and infecting the host machine.
i think you need vbox additions or vmware tools which you shouldnt install when trying to get malware
If an anti-malware software detects itself as malware, and then proceeds to destroy itself..
Then is it a virus in disguise, or is it a real anti-malware all along?
its both of course
Didn't Joel try that out once?
This is making my cybersecurity brain hurt.
Schrödinger’s malware
ARTAV has been infected.
Lol I live in the small town of that Car Ad at 3:21 his commercials are everywhere
"I can't do a southern accent"
proceeds to nail a southern accent
It's been so long we had a destruction video. At this moment, I feel truly blessed
same
The number of replies in this comment it's criminally underrated
2 years since the Windows 98 destruction.
At this moment I feel truly based
ARTAV AV: "I'm the virus?"
Also ARTAV AV: "Always have been."
*self-destructs*
13:11 i think thats because ARTAV "fix" all of your issues, most of them were in system32
11:14 "gratis knullsidor" means free sex sites lol
1:08 funny how he says "radiation" right after he makes a sound that sounds like a fucking geiger counter
Yeah facts
Artist
its absolutely mind blowing how we have not run out of windows to destory
Seriously, we might have to move on to stained glass!
What's next? Windows Neptune?! (Yes, that exists. There is only one build of Neptune ever)
@@inny74 orrrr Windows 11
When he runs out I'm really curious to see if he'll try out different systems like android or even IOS.
@@vinicius100470 I was gonna say Ubuntu or even Edubuntu
The bioshield website served one and only one purpose. To be the laughing stock of the internet for a day or two
15:00 the ad shows someone died of Speed up PC Tool
Vinesuace Joel is the living embodiment of Dopamine.
Notice how in 5:51 the user "Jiangmin" is literally the company's name when the setup file installs the antivirus at 6:09 with the directory of the exact same name. Also it recommends downloading "Jiangmin Toolbar" after that.
MARKETING 🗿
15:06 is just the same lmfao
The only review was also by Jiangmin
@alroightmaite Ah yes, "I will recommend to my classmate" as a con is the best praise I can come up with.
1:21 700 FUCKING DOLLARS???
the sequel to
ONE DOLAR?
13:04 the funniest part of the video beginns
i started watching Joel when Windows XP destruction came out and my sense of humor never looked back. good times :)
You've been colonized by the sense of humour of a rambling swede. A Mug moment.
Yup, watching Joel has shaped my sense of humor over the years.
Our humor has been infected by the Joel virus
That video and his RCT2 vids were my introduction. And then I found out hes super into Doom and loves metal so it was like meeting a best friend tbh.
yes
I like how the Encryption message explicitly said that only single smiles count towards the counter but pretty much the entire chat spammed multiple smiles.
Not sure if chat is stupid or just really mean.
Both? Both.
Both
A little bit of both, myself included
There's a 30 second counter on twitch on a duplicate message. So, yeah.
Ye
7:26 "The world's best Inivirus" 😂
even your coument is "Inivirus"
BURH
the W O R L D best I N T I V I R U S 2020
" *700 FUCKEN DOLLARS?!* "
Best line honestly lmao
Glad to see Joel's still making Windows Destructions
And of this high quality too, this is another classic
Yes
The nostalgia HITS HARD! :-)
12:39 This part had me DYING, it’s so funny to me that an antivirus software detects itself as a virus and deletes itself.
S C A N F I N N I S H
😂
fun fact: the video at 8:33 appeared in my cybersecurity homework
i wish i was joking
12:12 ambatublow
*Joel Slaps Computer Top*
"This bad boy can fit so many 𝔸 ℝ 𝕋 𝔸 𝕍"
underrated comment
7:18 Intivirus sounds like an word created by SQEX to define an re-release of their JRPGs.
@@dlog because your grandmother slapped him when he was a wee baby for swallowing an entire duplo set in the attic
just kidding i don't know
@@dlog Are you perhaps typing any kind of Swears? Then it's TH-cam itself who's deleting the comments
@@dlog youtube hides comments that they think is spam, which is hilarious because all the spam comments get through anyway. Just type like a gen z and you should be good
Can't wait for Final Fantasy XVII: Intivirus
@@--Io-- That would be a great title for an Upcoming Final Fantasy game!
as a Bosnian i can confidently say that your pronunciation of Ilija Lakicevic was close to the correct pronunciation
good job
8:41 linus
Leenus
Osing yu boot Is not the Solutions to these prooblems
the official java website also looks really old and like a virus site. seriously i swear it hasn’t been updated in 20 years
Java itself it's out of date, the installer has windows vista style progress bar
@@namesurname4666 i know right why haven’t they updated that lmao
@@Hutch2Much It's the same with VirtualBox, another product that Oracle got when it acquired Sun Microsystems back in 2010. Now, I'm not saying they haven't updated the site because they're scumbags who would only update it if it made them more money: but shortly after acquiring Sun, Oracle ended a few very important Free & Open-Source projects by Sun and sued Google for using the Java API in Android.
Java is a nostalgic site NGL
Really isn't official, since openJRE and openJDK exist.
Interesting to note that the Artav Antivirus was actually made by some middle schoolers from Indonesia back in 2011.
Apparently the creator of that software admitted that he mimicked the code from someone else and he didn't properly credited him which he did in an updated version.
Info about it, apart from some articles are pretty scarce so this thing is pretty much almost abandonware.
Even as an Indonesian myself, didn't know it existed.
Ah, so thats why it says supported by "beasiswa unggulan kemdiknas". I freaked out when I saw the Indonesian ministry of education logo on some random scam-looking antivirus 🤣
@@laplaciangntx same lol i had to do multiple takes
Oh my god I only now just fully realized that Vinny and Joel are two actual separate beings and Joel is real. I don't mean this in any disrespect but I've come to apologize and respect. For the longest time for some reason my brain connected the two. I'm so sorry Joel now I realize you're the one doing this kind of content and Vinny is doing different stuff
"Joel is real"
thats hilarious
if anything joel would probably laugh his ass off lol
One I convinced a friend that “Joel” was Vinny putting on a Swedish accent to make fun of pewdiepie.
Joel has been consistent in the last 5 or so years of curing my depression every time i watch
His highlights are always good for a laugh, I find myself binging on his videos when I need a decent laugh or two.
After running out of Windows operating systems to torture, Jobel the Destroyer used the power he gathered from all his previous victims to reach out of our reality and pull a new OS from an alternate timeline, just so he can continue his cruel but necessary task.
jobels back at it
"WHYS THERE A LION? **SCREAMING CAT** "
Screaming cats, truly a staple of Windows Destruction.
8:28 for context on why linus is on this video, linus currently runs mutiple channels besides LTT (linus tech tips), example being short circuit, techquickie etc. Linus frequently appeared on his parent channels but now he doesnt appear as much as before.
1:07 I love how he sounds like a Geiger counter before saying "radiation" lmao
5:54 the reviewer is an introvert, the antivirus was so good it forced them to socialise
I need more Joel browsing through weird corners of the internet like that bio shield thing or ice chewers, this shit is hilarious
14:23 ONE TILLION
I was just about to rewatch the previous destruction videos and here you are with a new upload
Watching Uncle Jobel videos after a long time of not doing so is like visiting an old friend
His laugh also reminds me of telling an old inside joke to your friend
Artav deleting itself is amazing, I re-played that part over and over.
He mightve made past the virus if people actually listened to instructions and only put one smiley per message lol
RIP 5GBioShield
2019(?) - April 26 2022
11:44 literally made me spit out my water
“F R E E F U C K S I T E”
*FREE FUCK SITE!*
And then Joel loses his shit.
I ACTUALLY TRANSLATED IT ACTUALLY TRANSLATES TO THAT
I love how chat just didnt read the instructions and spammed smiles in the wrong chat lmao
Windows 3.1 destruction
-Boots up
-Clicks any game
-The end
I never get tired of watching this kind of videos
Man, seeing Joel explore TH-cam here made me miss the dislike counter.
I felt the same thing. TH-cam is just so fucking dumb
Just install the extension that brings back dislikes (they are still in the code but hidden)
@@namesurname4666 Not that long term solution since the API for them will be gone soon.
@@foolishgoose453 they have work around; API data got scraped to database, and for newer videos, users who used extension and hit dislike contributes to their database.
@@bitelaserkhalif The issue rises when you need to find 1 general extension for that, which will keep up servers for the dislike database.
It's funny how despite my habit of watching videos on obscure technology stuffs [granted it was usually gaming], I had _never_ heard of Longhorn, and I'm only now finding out about it from *Joel* of all people
Truly astounding
I was expecting Kitboga to do it sooner tbh
All the different versions of Longhorn are honestly really cool. Seeing it start out as an enhanced version of XP before jumping ship and becoming proto-Vista is honestly fascinating.
I legit really like the whole side bar concept too.
2:35 Joel speak the god language
Something you probably didn’t notice: the person who made the only review for KV antivirus has their username literally at the top of the license agreement for it: jiangmin
At this rate Joel's gonna have to do Linux destructions when he runs out of Windows and Mac versions to use
That's easy, just install Steam
@@redpheonix1000 how do you install steam (for free)
@@redpheonix1000 Underrated comment
Theres windows 11 now
@@RayanM50B25 linux users be like: command line to install software
Holy shit, didn't expect Joel to pick up on Artav. I remembered using this back in 2010 on my PC (which by now has died due to my power supply exploded) and absolutely hated it.
As seen on the 'about' tab, it's an Indonesian anti-virus, made by an 8th grader (with the help of his brother on designing the GUI) at around 2009. It's mainly seen in many smaller internet cafes and PC that were built by shady PC builder at that time. Around 2011, there were articles hovering in the air about that particular anti-virus, revealing that the kid who programmed it, 'copy-pasted' some features, such as Quarantine, from another shady anti-virus. Going back to the about tab, if they're being honest, this software was supported by the Indonesian Ministry of National Education. Wow.
It's the same level of quack Indonesian AV as SMADAV.
@@MakotoIchinose Exactly.
Yeah I wondered who was pumping out all these shitty antivirus softwares. Now I know a little more.
@@MakotoIchinose Funnily enough,that's the exact antivirus that came pre-installed in my laptop that I bought last year lmao. Got rid of it though,pretty annoying to have around honestly.
0:42 best "shield" ever it "protected" me from not laughing 😂
8:05 I want that wallpaper tho, ngl
No you don't
@@404TVfr shut up
me too
@@StupidGamer360 no you don't
@@404TVfr yes I do
Once Bonzi Buddy site says "Fecal Funny" we will feel true impact of Joel
I honestly surprised you found Indonesian’s antivirus ARTAV. Fun fact, it was made by a 13 year old boy and his older sibling. Also fun fact, allegedly the software’s code is taken from other antivirus.
Also somehow endorsed by minister of education?
I'm surprised too ngl
Wait so it's legit? Well "legit". I need to know more XD
Some added info
This was made by 13 y.o. boy in 2011.
The stolen code was some bits of the features, not all of them. The original maker forgave them and allowed them to copy the code with his permission.
9:29 by the way he installed pipis
Indonesian momento
I find it interesting that he chose an OS that wasn’t finish or released. Pretty cool mixup on the Windows Destruction series. I love watching this series, both in-focus and as background footage. Thank you for uploading, Joel!
2:05 BLEEENK
15:36 This is EXACTLY how imagined joels house
Joel you should do a series about destroying computers to the brink of death and then testing what legit antivirus, if any, can fix them
Nah not rly how it works
Antivirus are preventive, not repairing.
If you already got fucked by a treat, you will stay fucked.
There are only very rare circumstances where you can actually try to fix your computer if it has been fucked (e.g. specific ransomwares where you can recover the files using a key generator/using the internet), however it won't be an antivirus that will be able to help you.
Won’t work. Antivirus programs don’t repair your system. Once it’s fucked, *it’s fucked.*
That's kinda what he did, despite not knowing it. SuperAntiSpyware is actually a legit program, a bit dated but definitely not malware, and it shut the whole thing down.
@@DareZero you are joking?
12:50 Late to the party, but Joel's laughter is magical.
I just realized that the “Jiangmin” who left the comment on the KV antivirus is also the guy who owns it.