“ why I stopped attending family gatherings “

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 37

  • @paballomaureenmalimabe1670
    @paballomaureenmalimabe1670 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Let's break the cycle... Nna I am the scapegoat. I go where I'm celebrated not where I am tolerated.... Parents divorced decades ago and I know who hates me and who doesn't. Got tired of fake love. SELF LOVE😍

  • @tarirotaruvinga8166
    @tarirotaruvinga8166 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Eish, l can write a book on this topic 😂😂😂. Zoleka was right. My list is longer.
    My mother's sister called me a bitch like she has a clean history let alone her children. Now her kids don't talk to her.
    My uncles wife thinks everything we accomplish in life, her husband paid for it. I could go in vacation to Europe, she will give her husband hell thinking he sponsored it. I could go on a work trip and she will tell her kids it's my uncle who paid for it. Now her kids think I am chowing my uncles money and they are BIG MAD. It's ridiculous 😂. I remember in 2020, I got an opportunity to go to New York, was my family not up in arms like "Why is she going there". You can imagine when covid cut my trip short. They celebrated 😂😂😂. Now I just move in silence but i want to shout out to God. He prepared a table for me in the presence of my enemies. The last person was on point with the recruitment, when people recruit other people to be against you, you shouldn't worry because they turn on each other. They tried to break me only to break themselves 😂😂😂.

    • @moe_ramz
      @moe_ramz ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yep, moving in silence is the best. My family, including my parents know nothing about what I’m doing. Sometimes I lie to confuse the enemy 😂😂

    • @LollyMadikiza-xw4ok
      @LollyMadikiza-xw4ok ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@moe_ramzamen

    • @ThabisoRatlou
      @ThabisoRatlou ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ​@@moe_ramz 💯

    • @NCarterMed
      @NCarterMed 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@moe_ramzKeep it up. I do same! Living in a different country helps me. I've had random relatives call me or send me messages out of the blue, all because my mum gave them my number without my consent! Our parents also put us in danger or make us vulnerable whilst trying to display their "pride". Now I just do my things in silence.

  • @NCarterMed
    @NCarterMed 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    To the first caller re: closure...Sometimes you will never get the closure that you are looking for. As much as your side doesn't need to be heard all the time, you don't always need to have answers about some things. At times "no answer/explanation" is closure in its entirety. We cannot give our power to others or allow our psychological/emotional liberty to be determined by what we think they should say or do. However, like Madam says, if you really want to know what your aunt thinks, then have that conversation with her to set yourself free from this mental prison.

  • @MrsL.
    @MrsL. ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Madam, very sad stories, may the Lord come in for every person /family facing such challenges.
    Thanks for such topics, we really need them, very powerful, inspirational and motivational.
    God bless

    • @madams___speaker
      @madams___speaker  ปีที่แล้ว

      Amen 🙏🏿. It's my pleasure ♥️♥️♥️

  • @Just_Mishi
    @Just_Mishi ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I wish I joined in, I'm the type that don't care about extended family anymore. I'm at a better place after making my decision.

    • @madams___speaker
      @madams___speaker  ปีที่แล้ว

      ♥️♥️

    • @NCarterMed
      @NCarterMed 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Me too. I was sick and tired of trying too hard. Love was one sided. I used to be the only one making an effort to make calls and connect with my cousins and their parents. Over time I realised that this is bigger than I thought. It stems from unresolved conflicts in the generation before us. Now ppl take their parents' side and continue fighting battles they don't know. Isolation can feel like the wilderness. However, the silence of the desert is better than toxic noise. I soldier on with the family I created. I have created my own family traditions, be it Christmas or Easter.

  • @kelebogilemabye3825
    @kelebogilemabye3825 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The caller about having issues with her mother ..described my situation.the hurt from her voice 😢 I know the pain.currently being taken to court by her

    • @Blessed_for_life_2023
      @Blessed_for_life_2023 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I know the pain very well. Yoh! And I would watch her being affectionate with my older brother and younger sister. I don't know her hug up until she died. I stopped talking to her 2 years before she died in 2016 and she desperately tried to reach out to me and I was afraid and refused to take her calls. I made peace when I saw her in the coffin.

    • @NCarterMed
      @NCarterMed 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@Blessed_for_life_2023I have observed most of your comments on this channel and I realised that you have a lot of lived experience. The way you articulate yourself amazes me. You have a lot of wisdom and I really enjoy reading your comments. With every comment you bless me. Your well is full and may it NEVER RUN DRY!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @margaretnkosi8734
    @margaretnkosi8734 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I am okay with my children they nearly killed me..for what I don't know
    Now they want peace
    For what I don't know
    I don't trust them I was free to them.
    They show me their other negative side of them
    They did hurt me alot

    • @NCarterMed
      @NCarterMed 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      You are justified to not trust anyone who has betrayed you. Because you have seen their weaknesses and don't trust yourself to have the capacity to handle more betrayal. Question is, what happened between now and then for them to want peace? Did they do any work on themselves or get any help to develop self-awareness to recognise that they were wrong? Are they only coming back for what they miss or genuinely recognise the error of their ways and want to make it right? I guess these are all questions you can ask if you talk to them. Which seems to not be the right time because you are still hurting.

  • @moe_ramz
    @moe_ramz ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Sometimes their there to check. To make sure you’re really gone 😅

  • @juliesiyanda3044
    @juliesiyanda3044 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    And sister, in this channel, I think u will get the answers, as long u share about everything, bcos people comes in this channel with good advise, and what u can do to get closure, so be strong our sister, God loves u more😍

  • @zeemali4369
    @zeemali4369 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Great topic indeed, how i wish the show was in english, cudnt really follow as i cudnt understand the language😭Having said that, u doing the Lord’s work Madam speaker, i appreciate your work🙏

    • @madams___speaker
      @madams___speaker  ปีที่แล้ว

      I’m so sorry about that. I wish people could use English but I always advise them to use a language they are comfortable with in order to express themselves fully. ♥️♥️

  • @margaretnkosi8734
    @margaretnkosi8734 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Hi I am afraid for the family I nearly die through the family. They were isolated me for years I take it easy till I was to be killed. ...they want peace ...I did forgive them but I dont want them near me or near my children. ...cause I didn't think bad about them till they show me the truth colours.....I they stay where they stay I am okay stay without them is been 20 year ...I don't want to see them near me and children
    I am afraid for them I can't stay with people thinking negative things about me and my children
    I am okay with my children
    This is hurting cause 💔 you don't know what is be problem....

    • @NCarterMed
      @NCarterMed 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I get you because I can relate.

  • @Yimishe
    @Yimishe ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Mother’s hatred mostly comes from trapped trauma, almost like generational curse that is revisited on eldest daughters or sons. You find that the mother herself never recovered from her trauma and they project on the child

    • @lindaswit
      @lindaswit 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I can relate to what you've experienced, believe you me it's not a pleasant experience

    • @khathutshelo051
      @khathutshelo051 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It’s the worst type of hatred because the child is abused and people can’t help since the mother is a bully. She resents the child and they will even bad mouth their children to their other relatives.
      Toxic mothers cannot be trusted even.

    • @NCarterMed
      @NCarterMed 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​​@@khathutshelo051You summed it nicely! It is soooo true..Wow! The mother is always the bully!!! Everyone is so scared of that person.

  • @thndythemedtech2143
    @thndythemedtech2143 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Bra I feel like I’m experiencing that right now
    People wanted nothing to do with you when you were struggling now that you have made it in life they suddenly want to be part of
    For the wat?
    I’m glad that my mom is the only person that contributed to my success so she is the only one I owe my loyalty to
    I see others wishing they can turn the hands of time
    I’m here to say that bus left a long time ago I’m done with fake relatives

  • @juliesiyanda3044
    @juliesiyanda3044 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Eish, 😭 it's painful bcos the mothers, are the ones we go to them to take out the pain we r hiding, eish sorry Sister.

  • @PortiaLethoba-lx4gh
    @PortiaLethoba-lx4gh 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I am done🖐👳‍♂️🙆‍♂️🙆‍♂️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

  • @mildredMosepele-hl1ue
    @mildredMosepele-hl1ue ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hi my dear ive been trying to locate the whattsup no in order to join prayer worrior group

  • @Itss_your_girl_bk
    @Itss_your_girl_bk ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I think madam speaker you must have time limit.Some people take a very long time

  • @thelivingmystery.africa
    @thelivingmystery.africa 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    3:00 but is it wrong