No, he’s an adult man and he can decide that for himself. I mean, it’s not like she met him while he was a child and groomed him until he became an adult, or anything like that…
The law says he’s an adult. Legality doesn’t equate to morality. His brain isn’t fully developed yet at a fresh 20 years old. It’s still weird and so are you for defending it lol.
@@Markunator The law says he’s an adult. Legality doesn’t equate to morality. His brain isn’t fully developed yet and she has lived a whole 19 years before he was even born. It’s still weird and so are you for defending it.
@@awkwardhandmovements Well, in the movie it’s 16 years. Also, 20- and 24-year-olds are both perfectly capable of making those kinds of decisions for themselves. They are not children; stop infantilizing them. I genuinely cannot fathom how FullOfLit can even have a problem with an 18-year-old and a 22-year-old being in a relationship together. Like, how much grass is it even possible to NOT touch in your life, in order to ever arrive at that opinion?!
I've never been a part of the 1D fandom, but Good Lord, the amount of Harry Styles-based fanfiction that's been allowed to become not only published books, but MOVIES, is alarming to me. Not to mention the fact that most of them aren't even very *good* books/movies. 🙄 It's one thing for people to get annoyed at all the paranormal romance novels that followed after the Twilight explosion; it's a fictional universe that went on to inspire multiple other fictional universes, often varying in content quality. But Harry Styles is a REAL person for God's sake, not to mention he was a teenager when he first got famous; as in, A MINOR. 👏 It's too bad; ironically, the idea of The Idea of You doesn't sound *that* bad of a concept on paper, I just wish it wasn't connected to Harry Styles, or (from what I've gathered, correct me if I'm wrong) some grown woman's obvious fascination with his life. Ick. 😬
Also, I hate how they make him into this brooding abusive guy half of the time. He doesn’t seem to be that type of person. I feel they just meed to leave the guy alone
@@FullofLit I think it’s disgusting the way he was portrayed all because, in my opinion, he wasn’t attracted to girls. I don’t believe that he actually had a crush on Caroline or any relationship with her, I think she was a beard, as were all his girlfriends since then. They needed him to seem ‘available’ to his mostly teenage girl fans. I’m sure he was told, just like other boyband members who have since come out, that for the sake of his career, and that of the other boys, he needs to keep how he identifies a secret.
33:38 That book quote is SO gross! My forever husband was 28 and I 24 in 1988 when I first had a crush on him, and he was as handsome then as can be, in a wiry, works-with-cars-and-builds-houses way (he has still to this day never stepped foot in a gym, yet is stronger than anyone else I know). Today his body bears a few impressive scars (he survived cancer in the mid-90s), his hair and beard are going grey, and his skin shows his age. And I love him, including his body, even more now, partly because we know each other so well and partly because the way he moves and the way he looks at me have not changed. If one shudders for the thought that one's partner will age, one should not strive to have a partner at all.
Exactly. I also really want to delete this book from my brain - I really regret reading it. And people are calling it the romance of the summer?! They need their search history checked. Along with their brains.
I was a huge 1D fan growing up but I was never the type of fan to read fan fiction or ship any of the members with each other. Like reading fan fic as a young person is a rather innocent thing to do esp. as a teen but Anna Todd for example was like 23 when she wrote the After books which is weird, like these were grown women writing about Harry who at the time was a teen/young adult. I feel like this is something that is often overlooked esp. with teen boys/ young men and men in general.
absolutely i feel like there’s a big difference between young tween and teen girls writing fanfic about their fave celebs versus grown ass women writing about teenagers
I really do agree with the part where you said " Just because men do it all the time is not an excuse for you to practice predatory behavior " It gives feminism a bad name .....Feminism is not for women to behave like men it is for women to be respected for their qualities.
I hate fanfiction written about real people. I think it is super weird to focus that much on the life/love life of a perfect stranger and whenever I hear that a book is based on a fic based on a real person, it is an immediate turn off for me. I love fanfiction, I write it, i read it, I think it is an important part of fandom but leave actual human beings out of it.
I completely agree with everything except the criticism of Taylor Swift’s relationship with him. 4 years really isn’t that much, and as far as what they could possibly have in common… like? They were two of the most famous musicians in the world. I’m sure they had tons of stuff in common. It’s really not that weird.
also see the hypocrisy, she called him an 18yo Boy in comparison with Taylor but in next example of 14yo child having sex with, LISTEN THIS ,19yo WOMAN! This woman....
That would be reasonable if Taylor didn't have a history of dating men younger than her, the Kenedy boy was 17 while she was already in her 20s but they revealed their relationship when he turned 18 (It's obvious that they had been dating longer, she even bought a house next to his.) That, the Harry thing and the Taylor Lautner thing. Luckily lately Taylor only dates MEN her age
The gap isn’t the issue. The ages are the issue. That’s an almost like with a mid-20 yo woman who MOST DEFINITELY was dating him when he was 17 :/ weird bro. Very weird
Calling 22 mid20s is a stretch… that’s barely old enough to drink. Those ages are like a college senior dating a college freshman. And again, I’m sure they had a lot in common given their backgrounds.
"What did they have in common." I mean...come on. They were both incredibly popular pop singers at the top of their games. I think they had a lot in common. I'm not sure you can extrapolate that argument to Harry and Taylor. In fact, I'm not a fan of that argument in the case of anyone in the same age gap relationship. When it comes to the ethics of an 18 and 22 year old dating, I think it's significantly more important to examine the power imbalances in these situations, not "if they have anything to talk about." We don't know what 2 people dating talk about, we don't know how much they might have in common. It's just way too subjective.
My partner and I have an 11 year age gap but get along just fine and have tons of things in common. It really depends specifically on the two people that are in the relationship. Like we work together so well that we don't even notice an age gap and that's how it should be. If you notice the gap then there's a problem and you're not suited to one another. We started going out when I was nearly 20 but if I had been a typical 20 something year old going out partying and stuff it wouldn't have worked so it really does just depend if you click or not.
It is a weak and reductive argument.made by people with no real life experience. the person I had the most in common with was 15 years older than me and the one I had the least in common with was the same age I was. The conversations were night and day. There were also two people I had average commonalities with... One 13 years older, the other 1 year older.
it’s sad how many people don’t understand how traumatic it is for young men, too. like they think even young men are so in control of their sexuality that no one bats an eye when a minor is being groomed by an older woman. it’s sickening when the older woman says “but he wanted it!”. boys don’t know shit and can be just as vulnerable to abuse as girls are.
people forget about how sexualised harry styles was by the media throughout his teenage years waaaay too much it makes me sick everytime i think about it, i feel so bad for him
I was a directioner back in the day too (still am at heart) and I remember the way Harry was sexualised and presented as a womaniser by the press and the band’s own pr teams despite the fact that it bothered him. It got to the point where the other boys had to defend him during interviews when grown ass reporters would “tease” him about it. And he was a literal TEENAGER at the time!
It was disgusting how they portrayed him. The articles about him hooking up with his friends mum, the cause of marriage break ups, having sex with over 410 women by the time he was 17, interviewers hinting that he can’t keep it in his pants all to hide that he probably isn’t sexually attracted to women. Can’t have a gay boy band member, how very sad.
Ok. So I met my husband when I was 17, he was 43 at the time. We are married for 10 years now. Just now at 28 I start to realize how big of a difference our maturity is. Like I could never imagine now being with someone even in their early 20s. To be honest it starts to gross me out, I cant even look him in the eyes anymore. I now as a proper adult kinda feel taken advantage of. So I now would advise against that large age gaps. Its just a bad power dynamic.
22 and 18 is like a freshman in college and she’s a senior (Harry Styles and Taylor Swift). No one bats an eye when it’s a freshman girl and a senior guy. Or even a 18 year old woman and a 21 year old man (Freshman and a junior). I think if people are able to be in the same school and legal, it’s less weird. But I’m still listening to more of your video essay, I’m interested.
I kinda agree with your comment. These days it's like noone over 20 can day someone under. And there are situations where I think is appropriate and normal. Just as you said, in collage I feel it's totally acceptable. And I don't think there's an abnormal power imbalance in most of those situations. In addition to that, what does a 22 year old have in common with an 18 year old? I would say that tons of things in the case of Taylor and Harry. They're both young white people in the same industry and apparently have tge same professional goals. I don't think that's a valid argument.
Although I feel like TS and HS would be an edge case coz they were both on the entertainment industry. So they probably had alot in common as an 18 and 22 y.o. in the industry. It would equate to be being in school or college together right?
Taylor and Harry were in the same industry, going through very similar things in the media with high profile relationships where both of them were insanely sexualized. I think their relationship was fine and really didn't deserve to be included in this video. 18 and 20 somethings will often date in college. Just some food for thought.
Okay but if we’re so obsessed with cute twinks why don’t we look at the literal HUNDREDS of adult actors, stars, etc. that fit that bill instead of a teenager ~signed, certified lover of pretty boys
I think if you’re not in the UK you don’t understand how rough Caroline Flack had it, it wasn’t that she got bad press, she wasn’t just criticised for her looks or her weight, they reported on a previous suicide attempt, her arrest for assault, her job losses all of it was front page news, plus every break up, weight gain, weight loss, everything, they all reported on it. I don’t think they meant it to end the way it did, but there was no justification for the way they reported on her. Her arrest you could claim as news, but front page? I don’t think so. The rest of it had no business being in a newspaper. Btw, one UK tabloid actually sent a push notification about her suicide, including the method she used. I’m trying to remember how their relationship was viewed amongst people who weren’t One Direction fans and my recollection is most people thought she shouldn’t be dating someone that young. But I don’t remember anyone else ever getting that much grief over dating someone younger, and I include the Rolling Stone who, in his 40s, married a 17 year old he started ‘dating’ when she was 13. (Yes I know dating isn’t the correct word). So while I can criticise what Caroline did, it seems like she suffered enough. --- It sounds like the author of this book doesn’t know any real-life age-gap relationships, because in my experience people tend to either genuinely not care about the age gap or pretend they don’t care. As a woman for whom forty is in the rear view mirror, the idea of a relationship with a 20 year old is creepy. Even without the creep factor, I prefer dating people who were alive when my favourite music was released.
Ikr “what do you even talk about” like? music? how difficult it is to have their sex lives under a microscope as young adults? They were in the same phase of life and financially independent adults. It’s not like a 22 year old college student dating a high school senior. They’re both people in very similar life situations who likely actually had a lot they could relate to each other about
@@hannahmay4832 exactly lol, both of them got famous around the same time in their life and were just skyrocketed into the industry which i assume affected their growth a lot so it makes sense why they got together.
The girlboss bit at the 24ish minute mark is what I have been WAITING FOR. The way I have been attacked in the comments of other YT vids about this is wild, I’m so glad you’ve said all the things I’ve been thinking! While I will watch plenty of content about this movie, I will not be watching it (even though I like the leads) because I can just tell it isn’t for me, even if it ~has~ been changed from the source material.
LITERALLYYY THISSS. idk why no one is aware of this. it honestly doesn’t matter the gender, it’s weird that a 40 yr old w a kid that is a few yrs younger than their partner is in a relationship with someone who barley is legal 💀💀 my theory is that people don’t think women can’t be groomers/romanticize women being groomers and thus fail to see how problematic this story is
I came here for the utter chaos that is this sad excuse of a book. What I did not came here for was seeing the presidential couple of my country being used as a FAVORABLE argument in age gape relationship debate 😭😭Like I don't see them enough on the French news. Especially considering that Macron met his wife at 15 (!) when she was his TEACHER(and I think she was married) ! Hardly the right example when advocating for age gap relationships... Btw, I'm a French lurking on english speaking social medias. I'm used to English, espcially Americans, oversexualizing us (I blame Titanic for that lol). But being used, based on prejudices about the French mindset + culture to justify pred*tory behaviour is a new low. 😬 Still, thank you Daria for taking one for the team and suffering in our place. The video was fantastic!
I watched a documentary on Bridgitte on TH-cam. Apparently when he was 16 his family asked her to leave him alone and she refused. The whole story is super creepy.
@@cobrakaier238 Yup and there's also the fact that her daughter was the same age like what ? Ugh, that's all I can say abt it. Do you remember the name of the documentary you watched by any chance ?
@@AllInWon_Yoke no, I am sorry it was more than 2 years ago and I can't see it in my history. It is possible it was removed. I looked for it but can't find it. It was french with English subtitles, not autogenerated ones.
We REALLY REALLY need to stop having books using people's luves as inspo and banking on the association. Because even if it's not shoved into your face or low key, it's still wierd to me. Like they didn't give you permission and even worse people are gonna ask them about it.
They didn’t do anything because he wasn’t actually being groomed by any of these women, they were beards or, in the case of Lucy Horobin, a disgusting storyline that he had caused her marriage break up by meeting up with her in hotel rooms to have sex at 17. He was given the womanizer image to hide that, in my opinion, he isn’t actually attracted to them. I guess they thought it was better to have a boyband member be sex crazed for older women, even suggesting he slept with his friends mum, then to have a gay member.
@@threeangels9318 Dude, if she decided that it was fine for her to cheat on her husband with 17 year old(or anyone really) then its fully her fault, nobody is responsible for her marriage falling apart other than her. Though him being fine meeting up with a married woman does signify his lack of morals(and makes him a shitty person as well)
"Get a job well she has a jobGET ANOTHET ONE" 🤣🤣🤣 EDIT: okey, so i just watched the movie, and im conflicted cause i like Nicholas and Anne, and i liked the whole movie, but just can´t get this video out of my head. Like, they really tried to do something not so bad with the story, which i like. I don´t know. Them being 30 and 45 is not so bad at the end, like okey. STILL the whole concept of the video was so clear i can´t get it out of my head so
It's nice to have confirmation that I did the right thing when I stopped reading that book a few chapters in. I just couldn't keep going and couldn't figure out why there seems to be so much acclaim for it.
Luckily, I never heard about this movie/novel until TODAY. I'm 23 and I can't imagine myself in a relationship with a 19 years old person. I always say to myself that if I will go for a relationship with someone else I will prefer at MAXIMUM a 3 years gap for me. Ten years is lot and twenty years age gap is horrendous. I agree with everything that you said. If Harry doesn't have body dysmorphia or any other mental health issues due to the media harassment at the time he can consider himself lucky, because what the heck! I wasn't a boy band fan myself, so I hadn't the idea that the members (especially Harry) was suffering this hypersexualization from the press side. People tend to romanticize age-gap relationships, especially if their came from a religious/fundamentalist background, using the "age is just a number" thing hmm... no. We just can't put in the same balance experiences between a 25-year-old and a 37-year-old person expecting to be minimally equal even when the youngest gets older because the difference will be forever there. I bet if Louis Partridge were casted insted Nicholas Galitzine the audience would see how messed up this plot is and don't laybol it as "so cute" or "it gives a heart-warming feeling" like I've heard today People who liked this plot cannot complain about Leonardo DiCaprio's predatory behavior of dating younger women (whose barely passed on their teens) with more half of his age. Just saying.
Im 23 at community college and i agree. Theres a high school program here where im a student and a lot of 17-19 year olds end up befriending me thinking im their age. Since my frontal lobe is almost fully developed its getting easier for me to recognize when someones a teenager and when someones my age. Even if we all “look” like teenagers.
i agree that the book age gap is gross but i actually already watch the movie and surprisingly the movie is quite good.. after they aged him, the difference is not really noticible especially with how Nick make Hayes more emotionally mature and their chemistry makes the story believable i think if they separated the movie from the novel and market it without linking the story line to anyone, it would be better because then we can focus more on the issues example like the live that they had.
especially as a harry fan, i’ve been trying so hard to avoid this book/movie and all info about it, so listening to your summary….. my jaw is dropped. it’s so much worse than i thought, i am disgusted :(((
Agreed with everything except the Harry-Taylor Swift point, I don’t think 18 to 22 is a bad age difference. There is plenty in common still. At the very least, it’s a gray area.
I liked 1D, but there were kids in my HS that were actually feral for them. I just like their music, and looking back that was definitely an indication of my autism.
This book/movie’s only message is “Well it’s fine if a man marries or has a romantic relationship with someone 20 years their junior so why can’t women do it?” It’s still bad. I mean that’s why Lolita is such a controversial & amazing book to this day. It’s the exact same plot. An older European man didn’t see anything wrong with having a romantic relationship with an underage girl because he thought it was an epic love story, until he actually talks to the adult Lolita at the end of the book and he realizes that he destroyed her life.
The thing about these books is that I have a younger brother, he is 17. So whenever ages are mentioned, I think of his friends and how they act and look and I'm like these are CHILDREN!!!! Like, 18 might be legal adults, but he's still afraid to use nose spray!!!
No because if this was a 40 yr old man with a 13 yr old kid dating a 20 yr old from a girl group, this would not fly💀 this story is weird and disturbing. If the author would like to discuss how older women aren’t seen in society, I’m sure there are better ways than to write about a barely legal relationship where they’re in 2 completely different stages of life. idc how the author packages it, it feels pedophilic and predatory.
@@9eishitasharma501 but he’s not 25. he’s 20. Your point is meaningless. He could be whatever age the author wants him to be but she chose 20 and 45. 💀
@@9eishitasharma501 I'm talking about the book in which the movie is based off of. They changed it to 25 cuz even the producers knew that the original age gap is too much.
22 is not a fully fledge adult. There brains is not fully formed yet either. I am not angry about that at all. 18 and 22 is not a big deal to me. Sorry i feel that way. A 22 year old has more in common with a 18 year old than they have with a 25 year old. I am sorry but it is true. 22 year olds are not starting their careers like that. 22 may be a adult and not a teenager but they are still very young.
Not to mention, they were both young musicians, dealing with the world's weird obsession with them. Young and attractive. I liked the video, but IMO saying Taylor was wrong at 22 for dating an 18 yr old is a bad take
Thank you both college age and most adults would refer to 18-22 year olds as kids still. Taylor and Harry both went from dating entertainers in their 30s to dating each other. Both shot to fame super early, had love life speculated on, singers and were homeschooled. What did they talk about, be real, a lot they were both young dumb kids learning the world.
I'm a little old for having been part of the 1D superfandom (or I should say, a little old for the target audience), but I did hear their music. The treatment of young performers continues to be horrendous, and we can't excuse any behavior based on whether the young star happens to be male.
predators always reveal themselves in such disgusting fucking ways. to be clear, even if we wanted to make this about legality, 14 years old is statutory fucking rape. that means that regardless of whether this CHILD thought that he could "consent", the law directly states that he absolutely could not. as someone, who was assaulted as a child, i know first-hand the kind of sexual trauma and general issues with sex and consent one experiences as a result of it. the fact that this author presented it as an "origin story" for why this guy would prefer an older woman is actually not an uncommon experience, but the kicker is that it is a fucking TRAGEDY and not something to swoon over. it is literally a direct result of being RAPED as a CHILD and moving through life without having processed and healed from that, seeking a similar experience to the horrific thing that happened to the person as a child. this adult woman is literally exploiting the sexual trauma of a young man as part of her "sexual liberation". and with the inclusion of that little "story" about a 14 year old boy and the reference to macron with his childhood grooming, i fear that this supposed preference for "younger men" is as far as this author could push whatever sick shit is going on in her head onto a published novel. i am literally sick to my stomach. the author should be on some kind of a list, i literally do not care what anyone says to me about how "this is just fiction".
Well put, it’s just gross that Hollywood continues to put movies like this out and books like this continue to be published. It can make you feel worn out I mean like do we still need to explain to grown people that sex with children is rape and not some sort of sexual awakening
I don't really hold any contempt towards Anne Hathaway or Nicholas Galitzine. In the creative world-I can confirm this-you never know when your next paycheck is, so sometimes you feel the need to take.....work like this in order to not starve or loose your apartment/house. The author of the novel, however, THAT'S a different story.
i agree with everything except i'm having a hard time understanding the taylor criticism. harry and taylor are in the same industry, lived a similar lifestyle, had similar experiences and interests and were about the same level of popularity.imo there was no power imbalance between them. giving the circumstances a 4 year old age gap is really not bad at all and is not comparable to, let's say, someone who just got out of high school and has no life experiences being taken advantage of by someone who has clear power over them
Watched the film today, and it was surprisingly good. Hope you watch it and share your thoughts. They made some decent changes from book to screen. Anne and Nick also have incredible chemistry and sell a really emotional story.
Robinne Lee has said in multiple interviews that Hayes is mostly inspired by her husband. She also was inspired by Mark Wahlberg, Eddie Redmayne, JFK Jr., etc…that Hayes a combination of them all.
I read the entire book in preparation for the movie (sadly I'm weak and will literally watch anything if it involves lead actors I enjoy) and was just livid with Solène through all of it - throughout the entire second half she was just a complete naive dumbass, not to mention an incredibly irresponsible mother. Hayes was irritating and nothing special but it was easier to just shrug that off as him being basically a teenager and a stupidly famous one at that. But yeah, Solène infuriated me. Most of my internal monologue while reading was "What did you expect to happen, you idiot?!" and I cheered at the end when she finally woke up and realised she needed to end it for her daughter's sake. It was attrocious. I am, however, pleased to say that the movie improves things by a truly HUGE margin - I actually didn't hate it and I was fully expecting to cringe/hate watch my way through it, but was pleasantly surprised. Aging up Hayes, closing their age gap a bit more, Izzy being in high school and having moved past her obsession with the band... these aspects went a very, very long way in making Solène feel like someone I could actually sympathise with. It also helps that this version of Solène is seemingly a much kinder, warmer person than the character was in the book. Overall the movie was honestly fine, at least when trying to ignore the exploitative nature of the author's inspiration to write the book in the first place. I do despise that she will be making money from this, though I do also get some satisfaction in that I've heard that she didn't exactly love the adaptation lmao.
I couldn’t agree more. I’m (not-so-secretly) satisfied that the author isn’t 100% on board with the changes. They improved the story immensely and made it so much less problematic. Solène was almost entirely unsympathetic in the book (even 20 year old Hayes had moments where he exhibited more maturity than she did), and the author’s fetishization of the age gap in the relationship read more like exploitation rather than social commentary like she claims she was writing. I do wish the movie team moved more away from the obvious Harry and 1D comparisons (they can’t say they aren’t there, because they are more than just coincidences), but otherwise I think they did a good job turning this into an enjoyable rom-com that moves away from most of the problematic book points
After watching the movie I didn’t really get all that hate. But now, of course, I understand that the book is REALLY something else- Thank you so much for this video, now I understand why harries are mad.
I just finished watching the film expecting nothing tbh, and I was actually surprised. But then again, both Anne and Nicholas are very talented actors. The age difference was 16 years in the film, 40/24, so not as creepy I guess for a one time watch film? I've never been into 1D as I was just graduating high school as they were getting famous(29 currently), so the I missed the who's the hottest band member etc. bandwagon that middle school and freshmen year folks usually jump on. And before the trailer dropped, I've never heard of the book either, but now that you described the plot, it reminds me of Aaron Johnson and his wife.. creepy as hell. Overall, I liked the film from a film standpoint, context being I never read the book, and never knew that Styles was exploited this badly. Edit: The end part where you say that Nicholas and Anne don't look bad together, because in reality they're 10/11 years apart, and Nicholas is a very large guy who looks older than he is, so it didn't come off as predatory or something, which was a relief.
not even the beautiful and amazing actress that anne hathaway is would make me watch this movie 💀💀 knowing the lore behind this movie, feels weird to even think about watching it
I pretty much agree with you and we have very similar opinions on the age gap and power dynamic issues, but I have to disagree with you on Taylor and Harry's age gap. 18 and 22? Not a big difference, especially in generation and life stage, those two could be in college at the same time (in Brazil at least, not 100% sure how long or how college works in other countries). If you think about the fact that both of them had similar experiences of being famous it makes total sense and is way common. I have friends 4 years younger and older than me and believe me, we have a bunch of topics to talk about and a lot in common because we're pretty much on the same life stage and living the same experiences. If a male is 4 years older in a relationship is way more normalized than a female being the older one so, in my opinion, people had an issue with Taylor, not with this 'age gap' specifically. (yes, I'm a swifitie, but also a directioner and a big harry stan)
Do you think a college graduate has anything in common with a high school senior? Would you as a 22 yr old feel comfortable going to a high school prom together?
@@selwatchesytI too would generally side eye that dynamic. But in fairness, it's a little silly to say Taylor and Harry had nothing in common. This isn't an independent working adult dating someone who still gets an allowance from their parents and whose main concerns until recently were math tests and prom. It's two successful professionals in the same industry who achieved fame around the same age and therefore probably can relate to one another. Imo that's more understandable
@@selwatchesyt i talking about pedo. This is not the situation. Grooming and Pédophilie is illégal. Dating a legal adult when you have 4 years différence is not.
@@ruthvause3429 she kept saying tennager but he wasnt anymore. 18 is the âge to be an adult. If an 18 years commit à crime, nobody will call him à child or à tennager.
so I just finished the movie and actually really loved it & now researching about the source material and oh my god is this gross the changes that they made in the movie actually made it so much better 😭 I think it is important to talk about how women in their 40s and older are not on their deathbed and still can enjoy life thank you very much. but the only reason why it worked for me is because I genuinely think that even though the age gap is huge, he's 24-25ish, so he's definitely not a teen anymore (and the chemistry between nicholas and anne is INSANE) and the fact that the daughter is twelve in the book??? literally way 😭 her being 17 is also a huge improvement. basically everything is a huge improvement. 😭 the film ended up to be so beautiful in comparison with the book, wow. oh and him losing how virginity at 14 with a 19 year old?? my little brother is almost 14, while I'm turning 19 this year, so I know a bunch of 14 year old and this is just disgusting on so many levels
There were a lot of problematic things with the book, but there was one thing (ok there were lots of things) that bothered me as a woman in her early 40s like the mc. The author can say that this is a story about a woman “rediscovering and reclaiming her sexuality and her identity” all she wants, but she goes to very great lengths from the beginning of the story to tell us that Solene is “not like other moms.” No, she’s not the frumpy mom with a messy bun and leggings and school drop off, she wears designer clothes and blows her hair out and is always talking or thinking about how much more sophisticated she is than other moms her age. She is elitist, conceited, and so far up her ass that it’s honestly revolting. She is wealthy and well-educated and well-connected, and the author makes sure we know it every other page. So of course she attracts the attention of a megastar pop idol. Are we supposed to believe that a “regular” 40 year old woman would do the same? The author goes so far out of her way to describe the ideal 40 year old as someone so unachievable and so far removed from everyday women that it’s laughable. She’s not trying to inspire women to reclaim their identities, she’s trying to tell them to be someone else entirely, to aim to be someone completely unattainable. And once again, women are left to feel completely and wholly inadequate. I did, however, watch the movie, and I think they fixed A LOT of these issues and made the story SO much better. Solene was actually a real person and relatable, and the age gap was not creepy like I thought it would be. There was no fetishization like in the book. I would suggest you consider watching. It wasn’t the painful experience you think. I’m a big Michael Showalter fan and I think he really did a great job here. I enjoyed the film.
33:37 this text was written in a very "Lolita-esque" manner .. sounds exactly like Humbert describes his "nymphet" and it made me wonder if we could've had a deeper look at how easy it is for predators to prey on younger boys simply because there's an idea of "boys are always asking for it" -- had the author and editors chosen to.
I haven't read the book, but those few pages you posted.....They clearly show something's wrong with it. The protagonist seems to be obsessed with her partner's youth, and I shivered the moment she meets Penelope and she literaly thinks she would give 14teen years old Hayes a high five. I'm afraid that, using feminism as an excuse, the author is tryng to convince the reader that a grown up woman beeing attracted to a boy is totally fine. That said, I need to tell you: the movie has a completely different vibe. They are both adults, their relationship is a mature and healthy one, Solene in the movie is a normal woman and a loving mother, who likes Hayes for the person he is. All the wierd stuff has been cut off, thanks God
First of all, So happy to find that you’re a directioner. I’ve been fan of yours since Bridgerton 2 dropped. Secondly I just struggled through the movie and want to kinda rant about it, came online and saw your RAGE RANT that was so satisfying. Thirdly Glad I didn’t know a shit about the book.Though as one line as older women finding their way through life seems like a great theme to explore.Personally have seem my mom struggle through it and I’ve found myself in a sort of position as same as the daughter in the book/movie it feels like a wonderful genre to explore but the author not only wasted a potential but completely went ferral with it …. JAIL and also she dragged Larry into it… JAIL Lastly the amount of times HS have been portrayed as a Womanizer and seen that man struggled with media targeting him has been painful to watch…He barely talks with fans through media now. Watching all these older women think ‘Ahhh nice story for my book’ … it just breaks my heart. The problem is not whether HS was all these things that he was portrayed but the women thought that they will write books about it and publish it and once again the main stream media making movies about it and once again profiting… my heart just goes out for H. Though Anne and Nick are my favourites I couldn’t sit through the movie without cringing hard at the H and 1D comparisons. My RAGE RANT ends 😂 Its time to rewatch RWRB as a pain balm 😌
Amazing video, i didnt know about the "original" story i just heard it was a fanfic, blah blah but didnt know all the details they changed in the movie, so thank you i think your narrative in all this subject its realy assertive, specifically on the predatory behavior not only by the author but the whole "romance" thing; anyway i dont know how to say you open even more my eyes on the topic but THE "MICROPHONE" ITS KILING ME OMG XDD Amazing
My friend dated a 20-year old when we were 27, and would often complain about his friend group being immature. Um NO KIDDING, they weren’t old enough to drink legally!
22 and 18 at the start of the relationship isn't that bad...morality wise or legally...just my two cents. I get your thoughts on in it, and maybe if I read the book I'd feel differently. Would like to know ur thoughts on the taylor Lautner and Justin Bieber phenomenon though
Thank you!! Finally a booktuber is calling out the creepiness of this story. Even if it wasn’t clearly HS fanfiction, the age gap and Robinne Lee’s views on it makes me uncomfortable.
The fact that you still used the mini mic after admitting that it doesn't work plus you raging about this book had me in tears. Thank you so much for making me laugh 😂😂😂
I cannot stop thinking about the book. You were able to make sense of the unease I felt while reading this book. One of the themes I saw was one of “control” Solène and was insecure when she felt Hayes had the control early on and her insecurity of being dumped and in the end yes she dumped Hayes but in the absolute worst and immature way. He’s literally obsessed with Solène and she again sleeps with him then kicks him out abruptly after misleading him while he’s crying. She’s supposed to be 40?! She can’t properly end the relationship in a respectful and loving manner? In the book Solene ends her marriage with Daniel: she doesn’t put Isabel first she puts her own happiness first. The worst thing Daniel does is not pay attention to Solene. Solene is not a good person.
As a former Directioner, I was kind of force fed to read the book but never read the Wattpat. Had to turn my brain off for the most of it and the end was the best part, as you mentioned. My main issue is the normalization of imbalanced relationships and the justification (in a very vindictive manner) pointing fingers at the other gender. BUT I watched the movie yesterday and can say the things changed in the context of the plot and characters details made it *a little* better for me. Solene in the book I just cannot stand her, but Solene in the movie is waaaay different...mostly because yes ANNE HATHAWAY and wow her approach to the character I think is something she was super aware they HAD to do some changes to Solene if she was going to play the part.
While I'm glad we're starting to lean into this conversation more because tbh we dont talk about it enough, I still fear for the people who will defend some of the shit that happened to young Harry and sexualize this behavior and I hope it doesn't go down that path but I know people will attempt to steer it in that direction. And I'm at the point in the video where you mentioned the author basically wrote the book as a self indulgent fantasy to reclaim her sexuality, I noticed a pattern with this type of thing. Before the theme was "barely young guy x old af woman/older woman who wrote herself as young." Now its the inverse, and it's starting to make me wonder why people are so quick to mention the reclaimation of sexuality when the fantasy reflects exactly what people dont like. On both ends there is always some predatory aspect to the relationship and its even worse when its less seperate from fiction. I think its less about reclamation and more of just having that fantasy and then disregarding the people who happen to fit that criteria, look at what happened on booktok recently, look at what's been doing on with the Harry Styles craze when he was younger, where's the reclaination in that? In my opinion there is no reclamation of sexuality, to some degree it's sacrificing someone else's safety and sexuality in order to fulfill your own, it's so predatory and people seem to only have an issue with it now. People either disregard it or are directly part of the issue and only complain when someone else has a problem or brings it up. There's no winning
I hope I was clear about this. I'm passionate about this topic and I have a tendency to misspeak about some things when it comes to this. I'm just tired of just the lack of attention this brings and the mentality when it comes to these predatory relationships. It just breeds hypocrisy
You lost me at an 18-22 age gap being weird. I think that’s actually totally normal, especially in their context…. The rest of your essay I predominantly vibe with.
The movie is amazing. The changes from the book make it a beautiful story about two consenting adults taking a chance falling in love, and how the world views it. Her daughter is so sweet, trying her best to support it but in the end the love for her daughter is very important. I also love the ending. Hope you get to check it out!
I haven't watched the movie or read the book, I am thinking of watching the movie because it's getting good reviews but I don't know. I don't like that fanfiction is becoming mainstream in this way. It's one thing for it to stay on AO3 or Wattpad, but it shouldn't be getting physically published and made into movies.
I haven't read the book and it feels disgusting but even with The entire movie gave me an ick. I mean age gap is fine, he was in mid 20s and she was 40. This happens but i hated the fact that entire thing is based on sexualizing harry styles who was a 16 year old kid and knowing what happened in real life, i couldn't really enjoy the movie. I love both the actors but seriously, like i don't like when young celebrities are sexualised. I mean it is horrible how their childhood is just taken away from them. It is disgusting and disturbing. I remember watching SNL skits where literally way older women were flirting with the teen one direction and making jokes about kissing and same with justin Bieber. Britney, emma watson all of them faced such abuse by media and adults who should have protected them that yhe entire movie made me feel so disgusted regardless of the fact that i love the actors and they did have wonderful chemistry.
Im sorry but i have to disagree on the Taylor and Harry scenario. He was 18. He was an adult and Taylor being 22 at the time is not terrible at all. Like wait until you hear about people like me who were just shy of 20 and going out with my current partner who was 31 at the time. 8 years later and still together. You cant just throw out the "What do they have in common?!" Because it doesn't work like that. Some people you just click with and fit so perfectly together despite being different in age. As you grow up and enter the real world youll probably be surprised at the amount of age gap relationships you will see. Ive had 30 year old colleagues whos wives are in their late 40s or early 50s. Some who their husbands are 20 years older. You cannot tar all gap relationships with the same brush as if there's something insidious going on all the time. It's so much more simple than that. Carolines situation i completely agree is wrong but Taylor and Harry? Absolutely not. Thats freaking out over two adults going out with one another at that point.
I completely agree also she freaks out because he’s eighTEEN and later calls a nineTEEN year old woman predatory for going after a 14 year old boy (which it absolutely is but don’t say that one is a predator and the other is a victim based on having teenager in the age)
girl im glad you got with your 31 year old boyfriend barely two years into adulthood and you two are happy but you are the EXCEPTION, not the rule. Just because it worked out for you guys doesn't mean it's not inherently weird for a man more than10 years older to look at a barely legal adult and go "yeah I think that's a suitable life partner". There is absolutely a difference between a 20 and a 30 year old and a 30 and a 40 year old. If you don't know what that is, honestly, you're not mature enough to be in an age gap relationship and haven't experience much of the world.
@randomthoughts0829 Yeah...sooooo don't talk to me as if you know anything about my relationship or how it came about ok sweetie? I'm not saying there isn't a difference but it isn't a black and white subject so don't speak on things you have no comprehension off because if you actually knew what you were talking about you would t have made that comment. Cute attempt though. Very cute ;)
“Your sexual liberation does not have to entail exploitation of someone else”. thank you!
excellent
Say it louder for the people in the back! Also hypersexual woman does not equal - liberated woman
There is a reason why Harry has blocked the author of the after series
Don’t blame him at all
After Eight > After
I can ONLY imagine how you feel about Aaron Taylor-Johnson and his wife….that was flat out PREDATORY! Hands down and their age gap is APPALLING!
His wife is a pedo...you can't convince me otherwise...he was 17 when she got pregnant
don’t get me started…
What makes it even more sad is what he said about it
What did he say?
@@bogatovikayes it is still gross.
If your love interest is closer in age to your child than they are to you.... THEY'RE *WAY* TOO YOUNG FOR YOU.
No, he’s an adult man and he can decide that for himself. I mean, it’s not like she met him while he was a child and groomed him until he became an adult, or anything like that…
The law says he’s an adult. Legality doesn’t equate to morality. His brain isn’t fully developed yet at a fresh 20 years old. It’s still weird and so are you for defending it lol.
@@Markunator The law says he’s an adult. Legality doesn’t equate to morality. His brain isn’t fully developed yet and she has lived a whole 19 years before he was even born. It’s still weird and so are you for defending it.
@@awkwardhandmovements Well, in the movie it’s 16 years. Also, 20- and 24-year-olds are both perfectly capable of making those kinds of decisions for themselves. They are not children; stop infantilizing them.
I genuinely cannot fathom how FullOfLit can even have a problem with an 18-year-old and a 22-year-old being in a relationship together. Like, how much grass is it even possible to NOT touch in your life, in order to ever arrive at that opinion?!
@@Markunator this obviously just isn’t the video/content for you, bruh lol I mean watch what you want but damn 😅
The opening "imagine" is fantastic, i felt like I was reliving those 1D imagines 🤣
It's OK, Daria, hold your emotional support mic, lord knows we all need something to get us through this hellscape of a story.
lmaoooo i really did need it to ground me
I've never been a part of the 1D fandom, but Good Lord, the amount of Harry Styles-based fanfiction that's been allowed to become not only published books, but MOVIES, is alarming to me. Not to mention the fact that most of them aren't even very *good* books/movies. 🙄
It's one thing for people to get annoyed at all the paranormal romance novels that followed after the Twilight explosion; it's a fictional universe that went on to inspire multiple other fictional universes, often varying in content quality. But Harry Styles is a REAL person for God's sake, not to mention he was a teenager when he first got famous; as in, A MINOR. 👏
It's too bad; ironically, the idea of The Idea of You doesn't sound *that* bad of a concept on paper, I just wish it wasn't connected to Harry Styles, or (from what I've gathered, correct me if I'm wrong) some grown woman's obvious fascination with his life. Ick. 😬
i was looking back on interviews of him during those early 1d days and my heart broke for him like he was a CHILD
Also, I hate how they make him into this brooding abusive guy half of the time. He doesn’t seem to be that type of person.
I feel they just meed to leave the guy alone
@@FullofLit his audition for Simon, talking about bakery!
@@FullofLit I think it’s disgusting the way he was portrayed all because, in my opinion, he wasn’t attracted to girls. I don’t believe that he actually had a crush on Caroline or any relationship with her, I think she was a beard, as were all his girlfriends since then. They needed him to seem ‘available’ to his mostly teenage girl fans. I’m sure he was told, just like other boyband members who have since come out, that for the sake of his career, and that of the other boys, he needs to keep how he identifies a secret.
Thank you for making this video! It's so freaking disgusting and awful😭
I agree, if you have to say "legal age" then 🤡.
I wish Harry could sue them...
33:38 That book quote is SO gross! My forever husband was 28 and I 24 in 1988 when I first had a crush on him, and he was as handsome then as can be, in a wiry, works-with-cars-and-builds-houses way (he has still to this day never stepped foot in a gym, yet is stronger than anyone else I know).
Today his body bears a few impressive scars (he survived cancer in the mid-90s), his hair and beard are going grey, and his skin shows his age. And I love him, including his body, even more now, partly because we know each other so well and partly because the way he moves and the way he looks at me have not changed.
If one shudders for the thought that one's partner will age, one should not strive to have a partner at all.
Exactly. I also really want to delete this book from my brain - I really regret reading it.
And people are calling it the romance of the summer?! They need their search history checked. Along with their brains.
I was a huge 1D fan growing up but I was never the type of fan to read fan fiction or ship any of the members with each other. Like reading fan fic as a young person is a rather innocent thing to do esp. as a teen but Anna Todd for example was like 23 when she wrote the After books which is weird, like these were grown women writing about Harry who at the time was a teen/young adult. I feel like this is something that is often overlooked esp. with teen boys/ young men and men in general.
absolutely i feel like there’s a big difference between young tween and teen girls writing fanfic about their fave celebs versus grown ass women writing about teenagers
Exactly, imagine it be a older man writing about a underage teen girl idol - it should be the same level of alarming creepiness!
I really do agree with the part where you said " Just because men do it all the time is not an excuse for you to practice predatory behavior " It gives feminism a bad name .....Feminism is not for women to behave like men it is for women to be respected for their qualities.
Exactly!
They should have made them the actor’s true age. He is 30 & she is 40.
30 is too old for a boybander. They are usually young ang goes solo at age 25.
the reveal of the mini-mic was EVERYTHING! i'm so glad i found you!!
"she has the making of a repeat offender...." DEAD - and also FACTS!!
I hate fanfiction written about real people. I think it is super weird to focus that much on the life/love life of a perfect stranger and whenever I hear that a book is based on a fic based on a real person, it is an immediate turn off for me. I love fanfiction, I write it, i read it, I think it is an important part of fandom but leave actual human beings out of it.
God, i hate RPF too.
It's a common thing in the alt/emo scene, and I've always thought it was/is an invasion of privacy.
I completely agree with everything except the criticism of Taylor Swift’s relationship with him. 4 years really isn’t that much, and as far as what they could possibly have in common… like? They were two of the most famous musicians in the world. I’m sure they had tons of stuff in common. It’s really not that weird.
also see the hypocrisy, she called him an 18yo Boy in comparison with Taylor but in next example of 14yo child having sex with, LISTEN THIS ,19yo WOMAN! This woman....
@@TT-fy6hk because the 19yo is a legal adult, and the age gap in tat scenario is 5 years. compared to the 14yo, the e19yo woman IS an adult.
That would be reasonable if Taylor didn't have a history of dating men younger than her, the Kenedy boy was 17 while she was already in her 20s but they revealed their relationship when he turned 18 (It's obvious that they had been dating longer, she even bought a house next to his.) That, the Harry thing and the Taylor Lautner thing. Luckily lately Taylor only dates MEN her age
The gap isn’t the issue. The ages are the issue. That’s an almost like with a mid-20 yo woman who MOST DEFINITELY was dating him when he was 17 :/ weird bro. Very weird
Calling 22 mid20s is a stretch… that’s barely old enough to drink. Those ages are like a college senior dating a college freshman. And again, I’m sure they had a lot in common given their backgrounds.
"why is your sexual liberation require the exploitation of someone else" OOH THAT PART. so real for that
"What did they have in common." I mean...come on. They were both incredibly popular pop singers at the top of their games. I think they had a lot in common. I'm not sure you can extrapolate that argument to Harry and Taylor. In fact, I'm not a fan of that argument in the case of anyone in the same age gap relationship. When it comes to the ethics of an 18 and 22 year old dating, I think it's significantly more important to examine the power imbalances in these situations, not "if they have anything to talk about." We don't know what 2 people dating talk about, we don't know how much they might have in common. It's just way too subjective.
My partner and I have an 11 year age gap but get along just fine and have tons of things in common. It really depends specifically on the two people that are in the relationship. Like we work together so well that we don't even notice an age gap and that's how it should be. If you notice the gap then there's a problem and you're not suited to one another. We started going out when I was nearly 20 but if I had been a typical 20 something year old going out partying and stuff it wouldn't have worked so it really does just depend if you click or not.
It is a weak and reductive argument.made by people with no real life experience. the person I had the most in common with was 15 years older than me and the one I had the least in common with was the same age I was. The conversations were night and day. There were also two people I had average commonalities with... One 13 years older, the other 1 year older.
Exactly!
The 18 v 22 was kind of a reach
This reminds of that one interviewer who asked Justin Bieber to give her the Sex Talk when he was 15…
ah there was literally a cult of adult women thirsting over teen justin
it’s sad how many people don’t understand how traumatic it is for young men, too. like they think even young men are so in control of their sexuality that no one bats an eye when a minor is being groomed by an older woman. it’s sickening when the older woman says “but he wanted it!”. boys don’t know shit and can be just as vulnerable to abuse as girls are.
I think they can be MORE vulnerable to abuse because of exactly what you said, “people don’t understand how traumatic it is for young men too”
people forget about how sexualised harry styles was by the media throughout his teenage years waaaay too much
it makes me sick everytime i think about it, i feel so bad for him
I was a directioner back in the day too (still am at heart) and I remember the way Harry was sexualised and presented as a womaniser by the press and the band’s own pr teams despite the fact that it bothered him. It got to the point where the other boys had to defend him during interviews when grown ass reporters would “tease” him about it. And he was a literal TEENAGER at the time!
It was disgusting how they portrayed him. The articles about him hooking up with his friends mum, the cause of marriage break ups, having sex with over 410 women by the time he was 17, interviewers hinting that he can’t keep it in his pants all to hide that he probably isn’t sexually attracted to women. Can’t have a gay boy band member, how very sad.
@@threeangels9318girl what
Wasn't he also the youngest of the group?
@@Kayla_P99 yup
@@threeangels9318girl what
25 and 40 is not the same as 18 and 34. The movie was really OK, nothing disgusting about it.
Agreed
Ok. So I met my husband when I was 17, he was 43 at the time. We are married for 10 years now. Just now at 28 I start to realize how big of a difference our maturity is. Like I could never imagine now being with someone even in their early 20s. To be honest it starts to gross me out, I cant even look him in the eyes anymore. I now as a proper adult kinda feel taken advantage of.
So I now would advise against that large age gaps. Its just a bad power dynamic.
Bro you’re a victim 😭
@@Eeppydeepy I know it now, but we have 3 kids and I couldn't support them alone, since I never worked. So realistically there is no way out.
@@rosebudsintherapy1454 I am sorry to hear that. I pray you find the help you need. 🙏
I’m so sorry. I hope that somehow you’re able to gain freedom for yourself and your children. You’re still young, you have a lot of life to live!!!
I saw the mini trailers on Prime but I HAD NO CLUE that this was based on Harry Styles! Eww!
22 and 18 is like a freshman in college and she’s a senior (Harry Styles and Taylor Swift). No one bats an eye when it’s a freshman girl and a senior guy. Or even a 18 year old woman and a 21 year old man (Freshman and a junior). I think if people are able to be in the same school and legal, it’s less weird. But I’m still listening to more of your video essay, I’m interested.
I kinda agree with your comment. These days it's like noone over 20 can day someone under. And there are situations where I think is appropriate and normal. Just as you said, in collage I feel it's totally acceptable. And I don't think there's an abnormal power imbalance in most of those situations. In addition to that, what does a 22 year old have in common with an 18 year old? I would say that tons of things in the case of Taylor and Harry. They're both young white people in the same industry and apparently have tge same professional goals. I don't think that's a valid argument.
Although I feel like TS and HS would be an edge case coz they were both on the entertainment industry. So they probably had alot in common as an 18 and 22 y.o. in the industry. It would equate to be being in school or college together right?
The Harry Styles and Taylor Swift dating isn’t weird because both were legal
Taylor and Harry were in the same industry, going through very similar things in the media with high profile relationships where both of them were insanely sexualized. I think their relationship was fine and really didn't deserve to be included in this video. 18 and 20 somethings will often date in college. Just some food for thought.
Okay but if we’re so obsessed with cute twinks why don’t we look at the literal HUNDREDS of adult actors, stars, etc. that fit that bill instead of a teenager
~signed, certified lover of pretty boys
I think if you’re not in the UK you don’t understand how rough Caroline Flack had it, it wasn’t that she got bad press, she wasn’t just criticised for her looks or her weight, they reported on a previous suicide attempt, her arrest for assault, her job losses all of it was front page news, plus every break up, weight gain, weight loss, everything, they all reported on it. I don’t think they meant it to end the way it did, but there was no justification for the way they reported on her. Her arrest you could claim as news, but front page? I don’t think so. The rest of it had no business being in a newspaper.
Btw, one UK tabloid actually sent a push notification about her suicide, including the method she used.
I’m trying to remember how their relationship was viewed amongst people who weren’t One Direction fans and my recollection is most people thought she shouldn’t be dating someone that young. But I don’t remember anyone else ever getting that much grief over dating someone younger, and I include the Rolling Stone who, in his 40s, married a 17 year old he started ‘dating’ when she was 13. (Yes I know dating isn’t the correct word).
So while I can criticise what Caroline did, it seems like she suffered enough.
---
It sounds like the author of this book doesn’t know any real-life age-gap relationships, because in my experience people tend to either genuinely not care about the age gap or pretend they don’t care.
As a woman for whom forty is in the rear view mirror, the idea of a relationship with a 20 year old is creepy. Even without the creep factor, I prefer dating people who were alive when my favourite music was released.
18 to 22 really isn’t that bad especially when you’re living in the vacuum of celebrity
Ikr “what do you even talk about” like? music? how difficult it is to have their sex lives under a microscope as young adults? They were in the same phase of life and financially independent adults. It’s not like a 22 year old college student dating a high school senior. They’re both people in very similar life situations who likely actually had a lot they could relate to each other about
And 18 is an adult by any measure…
@@hannahmay4832 exactly lol, both of them got famous around the same time in their life and were just skyrocketed into the industry which i assume affected their growth a lot so it makes sense why they got together.
Agree, I don't think this example is anywhere near the same as the others. It's like a college senior and college freshman. 22 is still a kid, too.
Yes, agreed. To me an 18-year-old and a 22-year-old are both kids.
Bringing up Macron and his wife as a way to excuse her creepy ass book is crazy... like that's grooming wtf
The girlboss bit at the 24ish minute mark is what I have been WAITING FOR. The way I have been attacked in the comments of other YT vids about this is wild, I’m so glad you’ve said all the things I’ve been thinking! While I will watch plenty of content about this movie, I will not be watching it (even though I like the leads) because I can just tell it isn’t for me, even if it ~has~ been changed from the source material.
I watched the movie yesterday, and I feel truly uncomfortable with the fact that the movie is associated with book like that...
It is just the romanticization of grooming. There would be an uproar if the sexes were swapped.
LITERALLYYY THISSS. idk why no one is aware of this. it honestly doesn’t matter the gender, it’s weird that a 40 yr old w a kid that is a few yrs younger than their partner is in a relationship with someone who barley is legal 💀💀 my theory is that people don’t think women can’t be groomers/romanticize women being groomers and thus fail to see how problematic this story is
I came here for the utter chaos that is this sad excuse of a book.
What I did not came here for was seeing the presidential couple of my country being used as a FAVORABLE argument in age gape relationship debate 😭😭Like I don't see them enough on the French news.
Especially considering that Macron met his wife at 15 (!) when she was his TEACHER(and I think she was married) ! Hardly the right example when advocating for age gap relationships...
Btw, I'm a French lurking on english speaking social medias. I'm used to English, espcially Americans, oversexualizing us (I blame Titanic for that lol). But being used, based on prejudices about the French mindset + culture to justify pred*tory behaviour is a new low. 😬
Still, thank you Daria for taking one for the team and suffering in our place. The video was fantastic!
I watched a documentary on Bridgitte on TH-cam. Apparently when he was 16 his family asked her to leave him alone and she refused. The whole story is super creepy.
@@cobrakaier238 Yup and there's also the fact that her daughter was the same age like what ? Ugh, that's all I can say abt it. Do you remember the name of the documentary you watched by any chance ?
@@AllInWon_Yoke no, I am sorry it was more than 2 years ago and I can't see it in my history. It is possible it was removed. I looked for it but can't find it. It was french with English subtitles, not autogenerated ones.
We REALLY REALLY need to stop having books using people's luves as inspo and banking on the association. Because even if it's not shoved into your face or low key, it's still wierd to me. Like they didn't give you permission and even worse people are gonna ask them about it.
The fact that he was groomed by at least 3 women and no one did a thing..
They didn’t do anything because he wasn’t actually being groomed by any of these women, they were beards or, in the case of Lucy Horobin, a disgusting storyline that he had caused her marriage break up by meeting up with her in hotel rooms to have sex at 17. He was given the womanizer image to hide that, in my opinion, he isn’t actually attracted to them. I guess they thought it was better to have a boyband member be sex crazed for older women, even suggesting he slept with his friends mum, then to have a gay member.
@@threeangels9318go to hell with this..
@@threeangels9318 Dude, if she decided that it was fine for her to cheat on her husband with 17 year old(or anyone really) then its fully her fault, nobody is responsible for her marriage falling apart other than her.
Though him being fine meeting up with a married woman does signify his lack of morals(and makes him a shitty person as well)
Fck that harry as if he's an innocent little boy who was taken advantage.😅.
"Get a job well she has a jobGET ANOTHET ONE" 🤣🤣🤣
EDIT: okey, so i just watched the movie, and im conflicted cause i like Nicholas and Anne, and i liked the whole movie, but just can´t get this video out of my head.
Like, they really tried to do something not so bad with the story, which i like. I don´t know.
Them being 30 and 45 is not so bad at the end, like okey.
STILL the whole concept of the video was so clear i can´t get it out of my head so
It's nice to have confirmation that I did the right thing when I stopped reading that book a few chapters in. I just couldn't keep going and couldn't figure out why there seems to be so much acclaim for it.
Luckily, I never heard about this movie/novel until TODAY. I'm 23 and I can't imagine myself in a relationship with a 19 years old person. I always say to myself that if I will go for a relationship with someone else I will prefer at MAXIMUM a 3 years gap for me. Ten years is lot and twenty years age gap is horrendous. I agree with everything that you said.
If Harry doesn't have body dysmorphia or any other mental health issues due to the media harassment at the time he can consider himself lucky, because what the heck! I wasn't a boy band fan myself, so I hadn't the idea that the members (especially Harry) was suffering this hypersexualization from the press side. People tend to romanticize age-gap relationships, especially if their came from a religious/fundamentalist background, using the "age is just a number" thing hmm... no. We just can't put in the same balance experiences between a 25-year-old and a 37-year-old person expecting to be minimally equal even when the youngest gets older because the difference will be forever there. I bet if Louis Partridge were casted insted Nicholas Galitzine the audience would see how messed up this plot is and don't laybol it as "so cute" or "it gives a heart-warming feeling" like I've heard today
People who liked this plot cannot complain about Leonardo DiCaprio's predatory behavior of dating younger women (whose barely passed on their teens) with more half of his age. Just saying.
Im 23 at community college and i agree. Theres a high school program here where im a student and a lot of 17-19 year olds end up befriending me thinking im their age. Since my frontal lobe is almost fully developed its getting easier for me to recognize when someones a teenager and when someones my age. Even if we all “look” like teenagers.
i agree that the book age gap is gross but i actually already watch the movie and surprisingly the movie is quite good.. after they aged him, the difference is not really noticible especially with how Nick make Hayes more emotionally mature and their chemistry makes the story believable
i think if they separated the movie from the novel and market it without linking the story line to anyone, it would be better because then we can focus more on the issues example like the live that they had.
especially as a harry fan, i’ve been trying so hard to avoid this book/movie and all info about it, so listening to your summary….. my jaw is dropped. it’s so much worse than i thought, i am disgusted :(((
12/10 video 👏🏽👏🏽 No notes. You said what had to be said. Loved it!
MWAH thanks for being there as i struggled with it lol
Agreed with everything except the Harry-Taylor Swift point, I don’t think 18 to 22 is a bad age difference. There is plenty in common still. At the very least, it’s a gray area.
Also as someone else pointed out, “who else are 18 year olds supposed to date?”
I read like 20 pages of this book and was like nope, I’m good 😂 so the fact that you just uploaded this, is amazing
Haven't read the book. Haven't seen the movie. But watching this review I wish I could like this video more than once
I liked 1D, but there were kids in my HS that were actually feral for them. I just like their music, and looking back that was definitely an indication of my autism.
This book/movie’s only message is “Well it’s fine if a man marries or has a romantic relationship with someone 20 years their junior so why can’t women do it?” It’s still bad. I mean that’s why Lolita is such a controversial & amazing book to this day. It’s the exact same plot. An older European man didn’t see anything wrong with having a romantic relationship with an underage girl because he thought it was an epic love story, until he actually talks to the adult Lolita at the end of the book and he realizes that he destroyed her life.
The thing about these books is that I have a younger brother, he is 17. So whenever ages are mentioned, I think of his friends and how they act and look and I'm like these are CHILDREN!!!! Like, 18 might be legal adults, but he's still afraid to use nose spray!!!
I was hooked from the intro. You set the scene perfectly. Glad you were able to exercise the demon. 😂😂
The biggest plot twist was finding out the mic wasn't real
No because if this was a 40 yr old man with a 13 yr old kid dating a 20 yr old from a girl group, this would not fly💀 this story is weird and disturbing. If the author would like to discuss how older women aren’t seen in society, I’m sure there are better ways than to write about a barely legal relationship where they’re in 2 completely different stages of life. idc how the author packages it, it feels pedophilic and predatory.
He is actually supposed to be 25 but you do you girlie
@@9eishitasharma501 but he’s not 25. he’s 20. Your point is meaningless. He could be whatever age the author wants him to be but she chose 20 and 45. 💀
@@jenosshowerheads5836 aren't we talking about the movie tho?He's 25 while she's 40 in it,they literally spend half of the movie talking about it.
@@9eishitasharma501 I'm talking about the book in which the movie is based off of. They changed it to 25 cuz even the producers knew that the original age gap is too much.
22 is not a fully fledge adult. There brains is not fully formed yet either. I am not angry about that at all. 18 and 22 is not a big deal to me. Sorry i feel that way. A 22 year old has more in common with a 18 year old than they have with a 25 year old. I am sorry but it is true. 22 year olds are not starting their careers like that. 22 may be a adult and not a teenager but they are still very young.
Not to mention, they were both young musicians, dealing with the world's weird obsession with them. Young and attractive. I liked the video, but IMO saying Taylor was wrong at 22 for dating an 18 yr old is a bad take
@@shayyosheiaagreed
Thank you both college age and most adults would refer to 18-22 year olds as kids still. Taylor and Harry both went from dating entertainers in their 30s to dating each other. Both shot to fame super early, had love life speculated on, singers and were homeschooled. What did they talk about, be real, a lot they were both young dumb kids learning the world.
@@rubberduck524100%
@@rubberduck524absolutely!
I'm a little old for having been part of the 1D superfandom (or I should say, a little old for the target audience), but I did hear their music. The treatment of young performers continues to be horrendous, and we can't excuse any behavior based on whether the young star happens to be male.
predators always reveal themselves in such disgusting fucking ways. to be clear, even if we wanted to make this about legality, 14 years old is statutory fucking rape. that means that regardless of whether this CHILD thought that he could "consent", the law directly states that he absolutely could not. as someone, who was assaulted as a child, i know first-hand the kind of sexual trauma and general issues with sex and consent one experiences as a result of it. the fact that this author presented it as an "origin story" for why this guy would prefer an older woman is actually not an uncommon experience, but the kicker is that it is a fucking TRAGEDY and not something to swoon over. it is literally a direct result of being RAPED as a CHILD and moving through life without having processed and healed from that, seeking a similar experience to the horrific thing that happened to the person as a child. this adult woman is literally exploiting the sexual trauma of a young man as part of her "sexual liberation". and with the inclusion of that little "story" about a 14 year old boy and the reference to macron with his childhood grooming, i fear that this supposed preference for "younger men" is as far as this author could push whatever sick shit is going on in her head onto a published novel. i am literally sick to my stomach. the author should be on some kind of a list, i literally do not care what anyone says to me about how "this is just fiction".
Well put, it’s just gross that Hollywood continues to put movies like this out and books like this continue to be published. It can make you feel worn out I mean like do we still need to explain to grown people that sex with children is rape and not some sort of sexual awakening
I don't really hold any contempt towards Anne Hathaway or Nicholas Galitzine. In the creative world-I can confirm this-you never know when your next paycheck is, so sometimes you feel the need to take.....work like this in order to not starve or loose your apartment/house.
The author of the novel, however, THAT'S a different story.
Damn the fake mic got me
1:15 Delulu is the solulu because it surely will come trululu 😂😂😂
i agree with everything except i'm having a hard time understanding the taylor criticism. harry and taylor are in the same industry, lived a similar lifestyle, had similar experiences and interests and were about the same level of popularity.imo there was no power imbalance between them. giving the circumstances a 4 year old age gap is really not bad at all and is not comparable to, let's say, someone who just got out of high school and has no life experiences being taken advantage of by someone who has clear power over them
Watched the film today, and it was surprisingly good. Hope you watch it and share your thoughts. They made some decent changes from book to screen. Anne and Nick also have incredible chemistry and sell a really emotional story.
Robinne Lee has said in multiple interviews that Hayes is mostly inspired by her husband. She also was inspired by Mark Wahlberg, Eddie Redmayne, JFK Jr., etc…that Hayes a combination of them all.
i looked up the movie plot, and another change is that the two leads get together at the end, after Izzy has completed her schooling.
IT’S FATE. I finished it half an hour ago & needed to hear your thoughts asap ✌🏻😂
I read the entire book in preparation for the movie (sadly I'm weak and will literally watch anything if it involves lead actors I enjoy) and was just livid with Solène through all of it - throughout the entire second half she was just a complete naive dumbass, not to mention an incredibly irresponsible mother. Hayes was irritating and nothing special but it was easier to just shrug that off as him being basically a teenager and a stupidly famous one at that. But yeah, Solène infuriated me. Most of my internal monologue while reading was "What did you expect to happen, you idiot?!" and I cheered at the end when she finally woke up and realised she needed to end it for her daughter's sake. It was attrocious.
I am, however, pleased to say that the movie improves things by a truly HUGE margin - I actually didn't hate it and I was fully expecting to cringe/hate watch my way through it, but was pleasantly surprised. Aging up Hayes, closing their age gap a bit more, Izzy being in high school and having moved past her obsession with the band... these aspects went a very, very long way in making Solène feel like someone I could actually sympathise with. It also helps that this version of Solène is seemingly a much kinder, warmer person than the character was in the book. Overall the movie was honestly fine, at least when trying to ignore the exploitative nature of the author's inspiration to write the book in the first place. I do despise that she will be making money from this, though I do also get some satisfaction in that I've heard that she didn't exactly love the adaptation lmao.
I couldn’t agree more. I’m (not-so-secretly) satisfied that the author isn’t 100% on board with the changes. They improved the story immensely and made it so much less problematic. Solène was almost entirely unsympathetic in the book (even 20 year old Hayes had moments where he exhibited more maturity than she did), and the author’s fetishization of the age gap in the relationship read more like exploitation rather than social commentary like she claims she was writing. I do wish the movie team moved more away from the obvious Harry and 1D comparisons (they can’t say they aren’t there, because they are more than just coincidences), but otherwise I think they did a good job turning this into an enjoyable rom-com that moves away from most of the problematic book points
After watching the movie I didn’t really get all that hate. But now, of course, I understand that the book is REALLY something else- Thank you so much for this video, now I understand why harries are mad.
I just finished watching the film expecting nothing tbh, and I was actually surprised. But then again, both Anne and Nicholas are very talented actors. The age difference was 16 years in the film, 40/24, so not as creepy I guess for a one time watch film? I've never been into 1D as I was just graduating high school as they were getting famous(29 currently), so the I missed the who's the hottest band member etc. bandwagon that middle school and freshmen year folks usually jump on. And before the trailer dropped, I've never heard of the book either, but now that you described the plot, it reminds me of Aaron Johnson and his wife.. creepy as hell.
Overall, I liked the film from a film standpoint, context being I never read the book, and never knew that Styles was exploited this badly.
Edit: The end part where you say that Nicholas and Anne don't look bad together, because in reality they're 10/11 years apart, and Nicholas is a very large guy who looks older than he is, so it didn't come off as predatory or something, which was a relief.
not even the beautiful and amazing actress that anne hathaway is would make me watch this movie 💀💀 knowing the lore behind this movie, feels weird to even think about watching it
I pretty much agree with you and we have very similar opinions on the age gap and power dynamic issues, but I have to disagree with you on Taylor and Harry's age gap. 18 and 22? Not a big difference, especially in generation and life stage, those two could be in college at the same time (in Brazil at least, not 100% sure how long or how college works in other countries). If you think about the fact that both of them had similar experiences of being famous it makes total sense and is way common. I have friends 4 years younger and older than me and believe me, we have a bunch of topics to talk about and a lot in common because we're pretty much on the same life stage and living the same experiences. If a male is 4 years older in a relationship is way more normalized than a female being the older one so, in my opinion, people had an issue with Taylor, not with this 'age gap' specifically.
(yes, I'm a swifitie, but also a directioner and a big harry stan)
She was also 22/23 dating underage Conner Kennedy
I’m pretty sure she was 21 which is still gross
she was 22 he was 18
@@rileyywhited she was still 21 cause her bday is in dec
@@fake.it.flowers but it was 2012 so she was 22
You’re grasping at straws with the Harry and Taylor thing. Lets be so forreal
Thanks for reading the book so I don’t have to! (unrelated: the commitment to the tiny mic is sending me 😂)
I agree with most of what you say except the taylor swift. Like he was 18 that is an adult and she was 22 not 30.
Do you think a college graduate has anything in common with a high school senior? Would you as a 22 yr old feel comfortable going to a high school prom together?
@@selwatchesytI too would generally side eye that dynamic. But in fairness, it's a little silly to say Taylor and Harry had nothing in common. This isn't an independent working adult dating someone who still gets an allowance from their parents and whose main concerns until recently were math tests and prom. It's two successful professionals in the same industry who achieved fame around the same age and therefore probably can relate to one another. Imo that's more understandable
I was thinking the same thing, like this is no where close to being like the other stuff she was talking about 😂
@@selwatchesyt i talking about pedo. This is not the situation. Grooming and Pédophilie is illégal. Dating a legal adult when you have 4 years différence is not.
@@ruthvause3429 she kept saying tennager but he wasnt anymore. 18 is the âge to be an adult. If an 18 years commit à crime, nobody will call him à child or à tennager.
so I just finished the movie and actually really loved it & now researching about the source material and oh my god is this gross
the changes that they made in the movie actually made it so much better 😭 I think it is important to talk about how women in their 40s and older are not on their deathbed and still can enjoy life thank you very much. but the only reason why it worked for me is because I genuinely think that even though the age gap is huge, he's 24-25ish, so he's definitely not a teen anymore (and the chemistry between nicholas and anne is INSANE)
and the fact that the daughter is twelve in the book??? literally way 😭 her being 17 is also a huge improvement. basically everything is a huge improvement. 😭 the film ended up to be so beautiful in comparison with the book, wow.
oh and him losing how virginity at 14 with a 19 year old?? my little brother is almost 14, while I'm turning 19 this year, so I know a bunch of 14 year old and this is just disgusting on so many levels
Harry styles should start suing people
There were a lot of problematic things with the book, but there was one thing (ok there were lots of things) that bothered me as a woman in her early 40s like the mc. The author can say that this is a story about a woman “rediscovering and reclaiming her sexuality and her identity” all she wants, but she goes to very great lengths from the beginning of the story to tell us that Solene is “not like other moms.” No, she’s not the frumpy mom with a messy bun and leggings and school drop off, she wears designer clothes and blows her hair out and is always talking or thinking about how much more sophisticated she is than other moms her age. She is elitist, conceited, and so far up her ass that it’s honestly revolting. She is wealthy and well-educated and well-connected, and the author makes sure we know it every other page. So of course she attracts the attention of a megastar pop idol. Are we supposed to believe that a “regular” 40 year old woman would do the same? The author goes so far out of her way to describe the ideal 40 year old as someone so unachievable and so far removed from everyday women that it’s laughable. She’s not trying to inspire women to reclaim their identities, she’s trying to tell them to be someone else entirely, to aim to be someone completely unattainable. And once again, women are left to feel completely and wholly inadequate.
I did, however, watch the movie, and I think they fixed A LOT of these issues and made the story SO much better. Solene was actually a real person and relatable, and the age gap was not creepy like I thought it would be. There was no fetishization like in the book. I would suggest you consider watching. It wasn’t the painful experience you think. I’m a big Michael Showalter fan and I think he really did a great job here. I enjoyed the film.
33:37 this text was written in a very "Lolita-esque" manner .. sounds exactly like Humbert describes his "nymphet" and it made me wonder if we could've had a deeper look at how easy it is for predators to prey on younger boys simply because there's an idea of "boys are always asking for it" -- had the author and editors chosen to.
I figured you were a writer before you mentioned it. That that story in the beginning was very engaging I thought it was real 😂😂😂
I just feel so so sad for isabella .. its horrifying what she went through and predators are fucking scary
I haven't read the book, but those few pages you posted.....They clearly show something's wrong with it. The protagonist seems to be obsessed with her partner's youth, and I shivered the moment she meets Penelope and she literaly thinks she would give 14teen years old Hayes a high five. I'm afraid that, using feminism as an excuse, the author is tryng to convince the reader that a grown up woman beeing attracted to a boy is totally fine.
That said, I need to tell you: the movie has a completely different vibe. They are both adults, their relationship is a mature and healthy one, Solene in the movie is a normal woman and a loving mother, who likes Hayes for the person he is. All the wierd stuff has been cut off, thanks God
First of all, So happy to find that you’re a directioner. I’ve been fan of yours since Bridgerton 2 dropped.
Secondly I just struggled through the movie and want to kinda rant about it, came online and saw your RAGE RANT that was so satisfying.
Thirdly Glad I didn’t know a shit about the book.Though as one line as older women finding their way through life seems like a great theme to explore.Personally have seem my mom struggle through it and I’ve found myself in a sort of position as same as the daughter in the book/movie it feels like a wonderful genre to explore but the author not only wasted a potential but completely went ferral with it …. JAIL and also she dragged Larry into it… JAIL
Lastly the amount of times HS have been portrayed as a Womanizer and seen that man struggled with media targeting him has been painful to watch…He barely talks with fans through media now. Watching all these older women think ‘Ahhh nice story for my book’ … it just breaks my heart. The problem is not whether HS was all these things that he was portrayed but the women thought that they will write books about it and publish it and once again the main stream media making movies about it and once again profiting… my heart just goes out for H. Though Anne and Nick are my favourites I couldn’t sit through the movie without cringing hard at the H and 1D comparisons.
My RAGE RANT ends 😂
Its time to rewatch RWRB as a pain balm 😌
Amazing video, i didnt know about the "original" story i just heard it was a fanfic, blah blah but didnt know all the details they changed in the movie, so thank you i think your narrative in all this subject its realy assertive, specifically on the predatory behavior not only by the author but the whole "romance" thing; anyway i dont know how to say you open even more my eyes on the topic but THE "MICROPHONE" ITS KILING ME OMG XDD Amazing
My friend dated a 20-year old when we were 27, and would often complain about his friend group being immature. Um NO KIDDING, they weren’t old enough to drink legally!
22 and 18 at the start of the relationship isn't that bad...morality wise or legally...just my two cents. I get your thoughts on in it, and maybe if I read the book I'd feel differently. Would like to know ur thoughts on the taylor Lautner and Justin Bieber phenomenon though
Agreed
Thank you!! Finally a booktuber is calling out the creepiness of this story. Even if it wasn’t clearly HS fanfiction, the age gap and Robinne Lee’s views on it makes me uncomfortable.
The fact that you still used the mini mic after admitting that it doesn't work plus you raging about this book had me in tears. Thank you so much for making me laugh 😂😂😂
I cannot stop thinking about the book. You were able to make sense of the unease I felt while reading this book. One of the themes I saw was one of “control” Solène and was insecure when she felt Hayes had the control early on and her insecurity of being dumped and in the end yes she dumped Hayes but in the absolute worst and immature way. He’s literally obsessed with Solène and she again sleeps with him then kicks him out abruptly after misleading him while he’s crying. She’s supposed to be 40?! She can’t properly end the relationship in a respectful and loving manner? In the book Solene ends her marriage with Daniel: she doesn’t put Isabel first she puts her own happiness first. The worst thing Daniel does is not pay attention to Solene. Solene is not a good person.
Wow, the movie really was _far_ better than the book, it seems…
As a former Directioner, I was kind of force fed to read the book but never read the Wattpat. Had to turn my brain off for the most of it and the end was the best part, as you mentioned. My main issue is the normalization of imbalanced relationships and the justification (in a very vindictive manner) pointing fingers at the other gender. BUT I watched the movie yesterday and can say the things changed in the context of the plot and characters details made it *a little* better for me. Solene in the book I just cannot stand her, but Solene in the movie is waaaay different...mostly because yes ANNE HATHAWAY and wow her approach to the character I think is something she was super aware they HAD to do some changes to Solene if she was going to play the part.
I love when you exercise the demons❤
i do what i do for the people lol
While I'm glad we're starting to lean into this conversation more because tbh we dont talk about it enough, I still fear for the people who will defend some of the shit that happened to young Harry and sexualize this behavior and I hope it doesn't go down that path but I know people will attempt to steer it in that direction.
And I'm at the point in the video where you mentioned the author basically wrote the book as a self indulgent fantasy to reclaim her sexuality, I noticed a pattern with this type of thing. Before the theme was "barely young guy x old af woman/older woman who wrote herself as young." Now its the inverse, and it's starting to make me wonder why people are so quick to mention the reclaimation of sexuality when the fantasy reflects exactly what people dont like.
On both ends there is always some predatory aspect to the relationship and its even worse when its less seperate from fiction. I think its less about reclamation and more of just having that fantasy and then disregarding the people who happen to fit that criteria, look at what happened on booktok recently, look at what's been doing on with the Harry Styles craze when he was younger, where's the reclaination in that? In my opinion there is no reclamation of sexuality, to some degree it's sacrificing someone else's safety and sexuality in order to fulfill your own, it's so predatory and people seem to only have an issue with it now. People either disregard it or are directly part of the issue and only complain when someone else has a problem or brings it up. There's no winning
I hope I was clear about this. I'm passionate about this topic and I have a tendency to misspeak about some things when it comes to this. I'm just tired of just the lack of attention this brings and the mentality when it comes to these predatory relationships. It just breeds hypocrisy
This is soooo different from the movie. I loved the movie. This sounds terrible
22:00 - 23:30 Thank you for saying this!
Awesome video Daria!!
that intro…you wrote one direction fanfiction as a teen didn’t you? 🤨
EDIT: LMAO confirmed 😭🤣
You lost me at an 18-22 age gap being weird. I think that’s actually totally normal, especially in their context…. The rest of your essay I predominantly vibe with.
Agreed
The four year age gap doesn't make much sense to me, the man is 18 and can make his own decisions and honestly who wouldn't want to date Taylor Swift.
The movie is amazing. The changes from the book make it a beautiful story about two consenting adults taking a chance falling in love, and how the world views it. Her daughter is so sweet, trying her best to support it but in the end the love for her daughter is very important. I also love the ending. Hope you get to check it out!
It was so bad bfr
@@prunswithfoxesI thought it was alright
Daria you should cover the Tearsmith Dysfunction too. That was intensely uncomfortable.
I haven't watched the movie or read the book, I am thinking of watching the movie because it's getting good reviews but I don't know. I don't like that fanfiction is becoming mainstream in this way. It's one thing for it to stay on AO3 or Wattpad, but it shouldn't be getting physically published and made into movies.
You should watch it, it’s a good cozy romance for women who don’t feel desirable anymore
It is not a fanfiction.
@@fannymalana7414 the book absolutely is lmao.
I haven't read the book and it feels disgusting but even with The entire movie gave me an ick. I mean age gap is fine, he was in mid 20s and she was 40. This happens but i hated the fact that entire thing is based on sexualizing harry styles who was a 16 year old kid and knowing what happened in real life, i couldn't really enjoy the movie. I love both the actors but seriously, like i don't like when young celebrities are sexualised. I mean it is horrible how their childhood is just taken away from them. It is disgusting and disturbing. I remember watching SNL skits where literally way older women were flirting with the teen one direction and making jokes about kissing and same with justin Bieber. Britney, emma watson all of them faced such abuse by media and adults who should have protected them that yhe entire movie made me feel so disgusted regardless of the fact that i love the actors and they did have wonderful chemistry.
Absolutely living for this review! Cackling so much. But serious this book is gross
Im sorry but i have to disagree on the Taylor and Harry scenario. He was 18. He was an adult and Taylor being 22 at the time is not terrible at all. Like wait until you hear about people like me who were just shy of 20 and going out with my current partner who was 31 at the time. 8 years later and still together. You cant just throw out the "What do they have in common?!" Because it doesn't work like that. Some people you just click with and fit so perfectly together despite being different in age. As you grow up and enter the real world youll probably be surprised at the amount of age gap relationships you will see. Ive had 30 year old colleagues whos wives are in their late 40s or early 50s. Some who their husbands are 20 years older. You cannot tar all gap relationships with the same brush as if there's something insidious going on all the time. It's so much more simple than that. Carolines situation i completely agree is wrong but Taylor and Harry? Absolutely not. Thats freaking out over two adults going out with one another at that point.
I completely agree also she freaks out because he’s eighTEEN and later calls a nineTEEN year old woman predatory for going after a 14 year old boy (which it absolutely is but don’t say that one is a predator and the other is a victim based on having teenager in the age)
@@moviemelody2210 I clocked that as well! So an 18 year old male is a "boy" but a 19 year old female is a "woman"? Like pick a script.
girl im glad you got with your 31 year old boyfriend barely two years into adulthood and you two are happy but you are the EXCEPTION, not the rule. Just because it worked out for you guys doesn't mean it's not inherently weird for a man more than10 years older to look at a barely legal adult and go "yeah I think that's a suitable life partner". There is absolutely a difference between a 20 and a 30 year old and a 30 and a 40 year old. If you don't know what that is, honestly, you're not mature enough to be in an age gap relationship and haven't experience much of the world.
@randomthoughts0829 Yeah...sooooo don't talk to me as if you know anything about my relationship or how it came about ok sweetie? I'm not saying there isn't a difference but it isn't a black and white subject so don't speak on things you have no comprehension off because if you actually knew what you were talking about you would t have made that comment. Cute attempt though. Very cute ;)
@@fireandsugar2625 that kind of double standard is just wrong in my opinion