Briana S i was best friends with dillon before he ended his life, and my older brother was best friends with payton, tom is such a great guy and it sucks to see this stuff happen, i can still remember all the birthday parties and how we used to hang out all the time
My 13 year old beautiful son took his life over a Cyberbullying attack. I was at work I thought he was going to school instead he stood in front of a train and like this man's kids he said he was alright and I believed him. Now I'm looking into getting these infusions I only had my Son Julien and now I'm too old to have any children.
@@lauralewis5726 my dad instantly died a few days ago in a car crash on his way home from work. I'm hurting really bad. I have never felt pain like this before. Wished I hugged him recently before he was taken from me
I still have a some of options left but if i ever have to choose killing myself i would do it in a remote place so my parents and siblings would never see my disfigured body.
@@elchippe That way, they will spend their whole life questioning whether you are still alive. The struggle between keeping hope and giving up is much worst, I think
I’m afraid the grief is far, far to monumental too manage without this kind of help. I lost my own son over two years ago & I really want my end to come. They do exist on the other side & I have had electronic communication from my son. This is what people should know about
I recognised his figiting instantly from my bouts with severe grief and suicidal ideation. I believe it be a a physical manifestation of unbearable anxiety and emotion. Was rather uncomfortable to watch due to the familiarity.
@@based_mediumchungus1788 it’s like realizing how much the world is so fucked up and you can’t fix it on your own depression is like your just living, but your gone
This man’s story sounds incredibly agonizing. Even 3 years after watching this video I still immediately think of this man when I hear about the death of someone’s child.
He’s definitely strong. I’m dealing with a fraction of the issues this man is and I’m having a really hard time. I wouldn’t make it with what he went through.
Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to the people who love you. My heart breaks so much for this guy. I wouldn't have made it through. I know I wouldn't.
Binkle Babe I've seen the other side of suicide and it is so horrible. Hold on. It will get better. You're worth it. If even one person in the world loves you, you're worth it.
Picket Pants as someone who is suicidal, I don’t disagree but I have another perspective; sometimes you feel it’s better than being a burden. It’s as if you already feel you are causing both yourself and others around you pain because they can’t help you and you can’t help yourself. It’s really hopeless. Like in the long run everyone is better off.
Erasing pain is part of the problem. I wish I my parents acknowledged the severity of my depression....that’s highly invalidating....I wish people stopped believing complaining what the issue and listened to what people were complaining about....because often people with depression complain and feel terrible and try to tell people and people brush it off....messages like this to me pose more danger than good.
Think about everything going well in your life, during this age of social media it is so easy to fall into depression and it is also easy to snap out of it, good luck to you.
Dear Lexii, Please, get some help immediately. Suicidal thoughts are usually brought on having less than normal Serotonin levels in the brain. It is a biological disease just like anything else. But, it can be worse at the end. Please, call a hot line for help and get on mood stabilizer. Lots of hugs to you!!!! ❤❤❤❤
That's hardcore man... I couldn't imagine what this man went through. Both sons. For anyone going through depression, know that you're not alone, it's been said, but it's true. I've lost 2 best friends to suicide, and it's not easy. I use medical marijuana as an anti-depressant and for pain management (back surgery), and I've found that it works wonders for me! Everyone is different though, so what works for some, might not work for others. I hope this man finds peace!
I lost one of my good friends to suicide , no one and I mean no one expected it , I was in London with my school at the time and felt as if none of my friends would understand if u talked to them as they thought I kept on talking about it and I still don’t really talk about it but it hurts inside
I can't believe this, my heart aches so much for this guy. Life can be so unfair sometimes. I hope he can find peace someday and enjoy life once again. His sons would have wanted that.
Tom is a very successful local business man where I live. Prior to the deaths of either of his sons (his only children I believe) he formed the Thomas Alan Budd Foundation And has donated millions of dollars over the years.
I’ve just found a few vids about him and it’s so sad that this had to have happened to him. It’s always the good people that have the worst things happen to them
This is why we shouldn’t judge others! We never know one another’s stories or what they are going through! A simple hi and smile would light up each other’s hearts🥺😖💙💙💙
I have three sons and my heart breaks for this man. Cannot imagine his pain 😔 So great that these options are out there for people who are suffering. 👏
HolyBlue Berries I am reporting you unless you stop this is NOT ok you CAN NOT make jokes like this I will report you in 24 hours unless you take down your comment and apologize this is not ok.
You can see the distress in his body when he’s telling his story. The PTSD is almost palpable. God bless this man. I hope he finds healing, from the bottom of my heart
when he said christmas was the worst day when you lost a child i broke ): prays he finds someone soon who makes him happy and shows him the love he deserves
I watch this always when im completly down.. and i always start crying and remember that my family would have to go through the same things that this man has to go through if id would end it...
This might just be the saddest video on youtube😭 What a strong human being that dad is!!! Just realized its been exactly a year since this was posted. I wonder how hes doing💙
unknown so true and I have anxiety, shows me the results if I decided to do something, and showed me I never should EVER DO SOMETHING. Cause I would never put my parents through that.
Not a fan of buzzfeed...but I'm glad this popped up in my recommendations. This was a great video and I hope this man can find lasting peace & happiness.
Cameron Guitar, As father my brain makes me empathise with the man, not knowing how I'd react to losing my Son, putting yourself in that position certainly may not make you feel any where near this mans loss but it makes your brain think. However not everyone works that way, but thats not bad in of itself.
the loss of one child is already world shattering. I can't imagine how much pain this man has endured. I've never heard such a moving story. This man is unbelievably strong.
Iv been depressed for 9 years with some ups and downs, still the suicidal thoughts occurs just about every day. Still no attempts. The problem with admitting you are suicidal is that you can be locked up in a asylum, and some definitely don't wont that. So in a sentence i can't be honest when i'm talking to a psychologist/therapist. Some just suffer in silence until they can't.
@@pietromanfredi7078 Nothing specific is ''wrong'' and i don't know why im depressed. That goes for alot of depressed people. Somehow people seem to think you must have a reason for being depressed which is absolute nonsense. For me, meds just have no effect. With that being said i never wanted this, and i would do anything to become healthy again.
theblackbull55 if you are feeling suicidal you need to get help. There are ways for you to get better, I know it’s scary to think of being locked up, but they aren’t going to put you in jail or anything. but if you need help you need to go get it, it’s worth your life
theblackbull55 if you would do anything to become healthy again then go do everything you can. Trust me dude it’s 100% worth it. Go look up ways you can temporarily deal with stress and make yourself feel better, work out, be honest with your therapist, they can help you! Keep going dude life is worth living
Wow, losing two sons of different age group to suicide must be the hardest thing to cope with... He's still a very strong man even though he had to deal with all that
The last time my eyes watered was years ago. I couldn't believe that i cried hearing this man telling his story. What a brave man he is. I wish him the best.
I was good friends with both Payton and Dillon. Not only did we share the same school together, but they were my company on our school bus ride home. Tom if you're reading this, thank you so much for what you have contributed to our community. The amount of love and courage in your heart is unimaginable ❤️ -Ramy
HolyBlue Berries I understand you’re doing this to try to get a reaction and prolly don’t even mean it, but how can you even write that In, how do you even have the mindset to think that’s okay
This is heartbreaking. I can't imagine the pain he's going through. Just remember when you go through tough times in your life there are others who deal with things that are way worse like this poor man. That's what keeps me going and that's why we should always be thankful.
I buried one of my two sons and even I cannot fathom what this dear man has to live with. I wish I could give him a hug and cry with him. His pain is unimaginable. As an aside, I receive ketamine treatments too and they have helped me tremendously. I recommend them especially for those dealing with deep grief and ptsd.
GentlRebel I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you’re doing okay I’m sure your son is in a better place just know that people love and care about you and you will be okay.
I’m so sorry for your pain. I was planning to kill myself and getting everything in order. I saw this and my heart hurt. I’m going to call my mom in the morning to help me check into hospital
Thanks buzzfeed for sharing this as men need to talk more about this and also seeing alternative treatments that can help others to cope. Prayers to this man as no one should have to go through this ordeal/pain...
Timbacto Bros. Men r told to hide their feeling, cause in society, there's this stigma that men shouldn't be vulnerable which is associated with "being weak" for a man, unlike women
Aspie Answers people need to understand that men cope through pain differently than women do. Sitting in a circle letting their feelings out is how women cope, not men.
Sir fap alot I'm aware of this as I've seen and heard that men aren't supposed to show their feelings,etc as its s sign of weakness in the eyes of society. The stigma and stereotyping in men is there and real. I believe that men need to learn how to deal/cope with their feelings/emotions. Sorry.
I’m so sorry for your loss you poor soul. You were put on this earth to help save lives like mine. You’ve given me hope in a grim existence. Thank you❤️
Psychedelic drugs are known to treat many psychological problems like anxiety, depression, ptsd, and even addiction. This is a big step towards the betterment of our psyche in our country
I got depressed for 2 years because of a bad acid trip.. k, on the other hand was never anything but awesome. Fortunately, i haven't done drugs in 7 years and my life is much better now.
@@SbjsksmNx I think if handled professionally yea treatments with psychedelics can help people like this guy Thomas. But I know two kids that I went to high school with and acid totally fucked them up.
Too many times society only emphasize in body/corporeal disease to actually researched and made medicine for the mind/mensana health. 2 things that must go hand in hand, because without the other, human will break down.
Keep hitting them weights bro i lift everyday watch you tube vids for constant inspiration CT fletcher,Kali muscle Green, Rich Piana keep going dont stop!!!!!!
Parents force life on kids. It usually works out--we've (most animals?) have evolved to keep trying to live. But it's possible for a rational mind not to want life. That can be painful when it happens to a loved one, but there are lots of different tastes and wants out there. Hope things work out for the father.
Agree with this 100%!!!! And not just parents but society itself...life can be brutal! It is possible for a rational mind not to want life...only sheeple will insist otherwise..
@@nurlindafsihotang49 That is the nature of having children. When you decide to let a life into the world, you do not know how much suffering they will have to go through. Or worse - if you didnt plan for a child. Then you just wanted pleasure (sex) and accidentally created a human being that will have to live through all this suffering because of your lust. Creating a life is selfish either way and I dont think that the kids should feel guilty if they cant go on anymore. Should one keep living in suffering just because they are afraid of hurting their parents? Is that what you are asking?
@@simpleape5093 I agree completely. I have always been prone to depression and had a very, very hard childhood. And adolescence. And now as an adult I recently lost my twin sister due to complications of depression. Parents always make the decision to have children knowing at some level that their children could suffer...anything. They decide that the worst potential suffering and trauma is something they are going to risk for their own interests...knowing full well that their child could be abducted, raped, tortured, abused in other ways or horribly, dismally unhappy as I have been my entire life. They make the decision to proceed. It is hard for me to connect and even feel fondness for people because most seem so determined to do what they want regardless of the suffering they cause others. My only wish is that neither my sister or myself had been born. It is hard to ever let go of the anger. I know my mind does not see life and reality quite the same way as the vast majority of humans...because if most others thought like me our species would have died out long ago. Given my recent loss (the pain has been unimaginable)...I feel a deep rage inside me. That everyone knows that life is meaningless at best and horrific at worst and even if I am not grieving my own life...I feel sad for people even more than I feel angry. Basically if I could blink my eyes and disappear forever without leaving a corpse, a mess, or memories...I would. :(
Life could be tuff but pls don't commit suicide. We all have to carry a cross just like Jesus did but Jesus is there to help us with our cross just like Simon was there to help Jesus. Take care everyone and God Bless you and your family and REMEMBER JESUS LOVES YOU GUYS TOO EVERYONE
Dont do it. Not only your mom, but everybody who loves you (there's a lot!) Would be devastated. Whatever hard times you are going through, you will get through!
among all the "drawing with period blood" and "trying on fart proof underwear" videos that buzzfeed often puts out, there are occasionally videos that are really well made and full of emotion. the grief in his voice and the tragedy he faced was so sad, but seeing his process to recovery was very interesting.
tommi seppa True. I feel very truely sorry for him as someone suffering also with pstd, depression and anxiety. Suicide may seem sometimes to be the solution for everything but in reality its not.. But mostly its its NOT FAIR to cause this kind pain to our FAMILY!
Dam Mister I honestly do not know how you get through each and every day of your life. You can never get over the heart ache. God bless you and your family.
I am so, so sorry. My only son is 3 1/2 months old. I was so sad during my entire pregnancy because of an unloving partner. I pray that my baby doesn’t struggle with depression as he gets older. He’s such a happy baby. I love him so much.
Not sure if your son is the baby in your profile picture, but he's a beautiful an adorable baby. All the best wishes for you and I hope he will be a strong, healthy adult in the future :)
Denai Mullet may god bless you and bless him, as a teenager, I’ll tell you one thing, try to be as close with your son as possible and give him freedom, teach him to love himself and to be a gentleman and trust me he won’t even think about suicide, just be there for him as much as you can and always treat him as your bestfriend, try not using hurtful words towards him ( even when you’re mad) and love him for who he is, take care💜
i lost a friend from suicide... a year later his father committed suicide. he was the only son. it's really sad his father couldn't handle the pain. He too witnessed his son's body when he got home...
Hurtlocker10 nope, the sons didn’t choose to be born and they didn’t choose to struggle through life and depression, suffering. You mean to say the sons should suffer through a life that they didn’t ask for in the first place so that their parents can be satisfied, you’re very naive.
Sycorex RBLX no one, should have to go through this. I went through his after my brother died and I didn’t talk to anyone for about two years. I completely shut down.
![[UNCUT] The Loyal Pin ปิ่นภักดิ์ EP.4 (4/4)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/d3l5rxl5CVo/mqdefault.jpg)
Twice. Twice that he had to deal with his sons taking their own lives. This is beyond heartbreaking.
T Raa how so?
And to be the one to find them both. Especially through the means in which they did it. I can't imagine a greater pain.
Briana S right!! I thought having my twin@27 and my 19 yr old boy gone was bad.. lol
And still find the strengh to say that life is worth living. I guess it's the only way to cure yourself from those horrible losses
Briana S i was best friends with dillon before he ended his life, and my older brother was best friends with payton, tom is such a great guy and it sucks to see this stuff happen, i can still remember all the birthday parties and how we used to hang out all the time
just a reminder to never make fun of someone's mental health, u never know what another person is going through
Totally agree
Shut up
Leo Are you serious right now?!?? Stop making fun of him you freaking animal😠 IS THIS HOW THE WORLD IS NOW?! THERE IS NO FAITH IN HUMANITY LEFT...💔😔
Nacho YT its not humanity its people in the united states
caretaker 777 Its people EVERYWHERE.
You can see how stressed he is when he’s rubbing his hand off the chair when he tells his story. Bless this man ❤️❤️
Why a fathers kids do this is strange
trafficjon400 Depression obviously...
My 13 year old beautiful son took his life over a Cyberbullying attack. I was at work I thought he was going to school instead he stood in front of a train and like this man's kids he said he was alright and I believed him. Now I'm looking into getting these infusions I only had my Son Julien and now I'm too old to have any children.
@@lauralewis5726 my dad instantly died a few days ago in a car crash on his way home from work. I'm hurting really bad. I have never felt pain like this before. Wished I hugged him recently before he was taken from me
Jesus died for your sins and rose again put your faith in him to be saved
He lost his sons but hes still a father to the rest of us with his lessons.
Young or old regardless.
Peace be with you
Jesus died for your sins and rose again put your faith in him to be saved
Your beautiful choice of words, bring such light and hope to such a heavy and deep situation.
😢
And also with yiu
"No parent should ever bury their children" 😭😭😭😭
almond Hershey My dad lost two sons. It sound always be the other way around.
Am I right?
THE FOOD yes
happens all the time in Syria and Palestine unfortunately
THE FOOD Unless they outlive their kids.
This poor man... His voice breaking absolutely shatters my heart.
"What I saw, nobody should see."
I still have a some of options left but if i ever have to choose killing myself i would do it in a remote place so my parents and siblings would never see my disfigured body.
@@elchippe That way, they will spend their whole life questioning whether you are still alive. The struggle between keeping hope and giving up is much worst, I think
@@duongnguyen8106 I hope you are okay but please don’t give up hope! Things get better, you matter, I love you❤️
@@elchippe I hope you are okay but please don’t give up hope! Things get better, you matter, I love you❤️
Im glad he is trying a drug to help him through. Alot of people dont understand why someone would need this. Let this man fight his own way.
I’m afraid the grief is far, far to monumental too manage without this kind of help. I lost my own son over two years ago & I really want my end to come. They do exist on the other side & I have had electronic communication from my son. This is what people should know about
Agree
Ill copy your comment
The pain in his voice and his hand movements were so heartbreaking.
That's grief
Heart wrenching excruciating pain
I recognised his figiting instantly from my bouts with severe grief and suicidal ideation. I believe it be a a physical manifestation of unbearable anxiety and emotion. Was rather uncomfortable to watch due to the familiarity.
The pain in his voice breaks my heart
I just want to give this man a hug, I can’t imagine what he’s going through. God bless him and his family.
Jesus died for your sins and rose again put your faith in him to be saved
I do as well.
This guy has been through things that no one should have to but yet still finds motivation to help others live extremely happily
Ketamine's a hell of a drug
You can see nothing but pain in his eyes
His eyes, body language, tone of voice all so heartbreaking
I see mostly sadness, some confusion, and the smallest glimmer of hope
All i can see is his eye color
And buzzfeed is taking advantage of all of it
How?
Fair play to this guy for even being able to get out of bed in the morning
It’s the ketamine.
@@potatodar he has to get out of bed to get the ketamine though right?
Sometimes living is just an act of courage itself -Seneca
Jesus died for your sins and rose again put your faith in him to be saved
@@jyk4736 YES!!
I could understand his grief. Not only did he lose two sons, he walked in and saw their bodies. That is something he can never unsee.🤥
@@kjr281 I know.
I have no respect for his sons. absolutely selfish people.
I feel terrible for the dad. such a sad story.
@@based_mediumchungus1788 it’s like realizing how much the world is so fucked up and you can’t fix it on your own depression is like your just living, but your gone
@@based_mediumchungus1788 if you were in their place you wouldn't say that, you know nothing
God bless this man, Ive lost a child too its impossible to describe.
I appreciate that they said it's a treatment not a cure. Thank goodness there's help out there for those who need it.
I think that it shows that people have to work though stuff but still can get help on the way
lifeisablessing i
FDA hadn’t approved it as a treatment though yet
It's a distraction
@@donphan5532 it is now! atleast in some places :)
He is so strong.
Warrior
This man’s story sounds incredibly agonizing. Even 3 years after watching this video I still immediately think of this man when I hear about the death of someone’s child.
I’ve never cried so hard over a video. Wow. This man is so very strong.
He’s definitely strong. I’m dealing with a fraction of the issues this man is and I’m having a really hard time. I wouldn’t make it with what he went through.
this breaks my heart. i can't even imagine the pain he had to go through, such an incredibly strong man. just wow.
anna lena yes he's so strong
Gues we can say his kids didn't aquire that gene...
Dinglenut RICKY trolling or?
anna lena is that Kurt cobain in a dress?
Adam yea!
Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to the people who love you. My heart breaks so much for this guy. I wouldn't have made it through. I know I wouldn't.
Picket Pants I feel the same way...
Picket Pants I have been horribly suicidal, but thoughts of the horrible consequences to my wonderful family stop me every time.
Binkle Babe I've seen the other side of suicide and it is so horrible. Hold on. It will get better. You're worth it. If even one person in the world loves you, you're worth it.
Picket Pants as someone who is suicidal, I don’t disagree but I have another perspective; sometimes you feel it’s better than being a burden. It’s as if you already feel you are causing both yourself and others around you pain because they can’t help you and you can’t help yourself. It’s really hopeless. Like in the long run everyone is better off.
I agree but you still can't compare to completely separate people to each other
I will never complain again
Your pain is valid too. It’s never a contest.
Erasing pain is part of the problem. I wish I my parents acknowledged the severity of my depression....that’s highly invalidating....I wish people stopped believing complaining what the issue and listened to what people were complaining about....because often people with depression complain and feel terrible and try to tell people and people brush it off....messages like this to me pose more danger than good.
I’ve been suicidal for years but knowing how it will affect my family is the only thing that has stopped me.
Don’t kill your self
Think about everything going well in your life, during this age of social media it is so easy to fall into depression and it is also easy to snap out of it, good luck to you.
@@mouhannedazaza5637 clinical depression is not something you snap out of
Dear Lexii,
Please, get some help immediately. Suicidal thoughts are usually brought on having less than normal Serotonin levels in the brain. It is a biological disease just like anything else. But, it can be worse at the end. Please, call a hot line for help and get on mood stabilizer. Lots of hugs to you!!!! ❤❤❤❤
Dear Lexii,
Please, read at the bottom my advice to you! ❤❤❤❤
That's hardcore man... I couldn't imagine what this man went through. Both sons.
For anyone going through depression, know that you're not alone, it's been said, but it's true.
I've lost 2 best friends to suicide, and it's not easy.
I use medical marijuana as an anti-depressant and for pain management (back surgery), and I've found that it works wonders for me!
Everyone is different though, so what works for some, might not work for others.
I hope this man finds peace!
CysticFibrosis lol ok sure
a medical doctor xDD rofl , and by the way , you have no right to judge the guy , how dare you say he's using his friends as an allerby ??!!
sarcasm ... right ?
I lost one of my good friends to suicide , no one and I mean no one expected it , I was in London with my school at the time and felt as if none of my friends would understand if u talked to them as they thought I kept on talking about it and I still don’t really talk about it but it hurts inside
CysticFibrosis marijuana isnt even a naturally addictive substance
I can't believe this, my heart aches so much for this guy. Life can be so unfair sometimes. I hope he can find peace someday and enjoy life once again. His sons would have wanted that.
I found myself in similar problems
This guy is still fighting to have a good life. Poor feller...
Daniella Prince he wouldnt get this sad on people he treated bad
Frozen Wifi yo dude are you ok, what do you mean by "I found myself in a similar situation
Robert Millier IKR pharmaceuticals always trying to Use peoples personal issues to make money
You can see the stress in the mans face he doesn’t even have to tell his story
As someone who had suicidal thoughts, this hit me hard. I cried for him.
Tom is a very successful local business man where I live. Prior to the deaths of either of his sons (his only children I believe) he formed the Thomas Alan Budd Foundation And has donated millions of dollars over the years.
My thoughts and prayers are with him
I feel so sad now
Okanagan Blonde he's a very good person is all I can say :')
Is he from kelowna?
I’ve just found a few vids about him and it’s so sad that this had to have happened to him. It’s always the good people that have the worst things happen to them
my chest physically hurts. this breaks my heart
Sarah White mine too my sister and my mom killed there selfs im very depressed.
Rana_kickz oh my gosh I’m so sorry for your lost much love ❤️
NightcoreForever thank you so ❤
Your bra might be strapped on too tight
Noud Rademakers ahw that’s so sad to hear. I am so sorry you lost your girlfriend too 😢
This is why we shouldn’t judge others! We never know one another’s stories or what they are going through! A simple hi and smile would light up each other’s hearts🥺😖💙💙💙
DAMN, 2 SONS? SO SO SAD.. TERRIBLE.
Mitch Grooms You’re Capslock is on
@@axelh5031 Your* incorrect grammar is on.
I find it crazy how people still don't know the difference between you're and your smh
@@punpunpunoyapunpun5392 not the first language? :>
@@cheyhey2170 Doesn't that make it more concerning since if they learned english they should know the basic grammar stuff?
I have three sons and my heart breaks for this man. Cannot imagine his pain 😔 So great that these options are out there for people who are suffering. 👏
ashleyplus3 I hope they all commit suicide as well tbh
HolyBlue Berries Why would you say such a thing
HolyBlue Berries wtf is wrong with you?
HolyBlue Berries yo wtf
HolyBlue Berries I am reporting you unless you stop this is NOT ok you CAN NOT make jokes like this I will report you in 24 hours unless you take down your comment and apologize this is not ok.
I cried when he told his story.
laila1989ism I almost did.
Everyone loves sad stories
laila1989ism same
laila1989ism mee too omg...
As a father i could never imagine
You can see the distress in his body when he’s telling his story. The PTSD is almost palpable. God bless this man. I hope he finds healing, from the bottom of my heart
when he said christmas was the worst day when you lost a child i broke ): prays he finds someone soon who makes him happy and shows him the love he deserves
the strongest man on the earth.
Literally
Yes, he is...
With some of the strongest medication on earth
Keith Deel fuuuuukkk offfff
🙏
Jesus, no one deserves to go through this pain. I hope nothing but the best for him. Bless him.
I watch this always when im completly down.. and i always start crying and remember that my family would have to go through the same things that this man has to go through if id would end it...
There's people that cared you so much....❤️❤️❤️ 😢
this is what's driving me insane
Me too, it puts your life in perspective
Same, that's why I searched for videos like this
This might just be the saddest video on youtube😭
What a strong human being that dad is!!!
Just realized its been exactly a year since this was posted. I wonder how hes doing💙
Yes, and now we really like to know how he is doing..?! Anybody?
This poor father. Things like this have no explanation
What? Of course it has an explanation. His sons were suicidally depressed. Just because you can't explain it doesn't mean science cannot.
Jeez why so fuckng bitter. She meant that there is no explanation of the feelings of losing two children from suicide!
NIgHTMaReFortyTwo Whoa, dude. Stand down.
Allison Grey thank youuuu lol. I also meant that sometimes life just doesn’t make any sense and everything doesn’t always happen for a reason
i can't believe I thought my life was bad be grateful guys..
unknown so true and I have anxiety, shows me the results if I decided to do something, and showed me I never should EVER DO SOMETHING. Cause I would never put my parents through that.
We need to be grateful for the good lives we have
thats why dont buy a gun so no one will commit suicide.. think about it
Tweeteldum true
Jesus Christ it's Jason Bourne 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I don’t think I’ve ever watched a more heartbreaking yet empowering video. What a man.
Not a fan of buzzfeed...but I'm glad this popped up in my recommendations. This was a great video and I hope this man can find lasting peace & happiness.
This was very hard to watch. My heart broke for this man.
Damn. This is heavy.
Wesley Stone to heavy...
This is so sad. My heart goes out to him.
IllyrianPrinces00 same
do u think hes a bad parent?
Given the title, it kind of has to be.
But I appreciate that he shares in order to help.
this man needed a hug.. so sad. if you ever see this just know that there are better days ahead of you. force a smile buddy :) stay strong.
And I thought I was having a hard day.
What a strong man.
his body language, his choked voice, the crying
god I broke down
Big Tiddy Goth Gf same
Big Tiddy Goth Gf weeb
Big Tiddy Goth Gf it's sad but it's not your family I don't get that
I cant take your comment seriously with that pfp
Cameron Guitar, As father my brain makes me empathise with the man, not knowing how I'd react to losing my Son, putting yourself in that position certainly may not make you feel any where near this mans loss but it makes your brain think.
However not everyone works that way, but thats not bad in of itself.
You can see his pain and suffering from just his gestures. you can hear his grief and its heartbreaking.
Scandi o yea yea
Oh yeah yeah
Arturo Arias got damn it
It's from an old vidya game that you should know and is a staple of the Maximillianmus fanbase. Search him up to get the joke.
Oh yeah yeah
I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine the grief.
This is one of the saddest things I have ever watched. Literally tearing up
the loss of one child is already world shattering. I can't imagine how much pain this man has endured. I've never heard such a moving story. This man is unbelievably strong.
Always remember: suicide dosent take away the pain, it passes it on to someone else :(
Nico Mila This comment is so accurate it hurts.
I teared up reading this. It is so true and I am so thankful to be alive
Very well said
I dunno man, honestly, it'd shock the people who knew me for a couple months, then I'd be forgotten pretty quickly.
That’s what keeps me going. I don’t want my kids to follow in my footsteps.
I can’t even imagine what kind of pain the father OR the sons had. Unbelievable. So sorry, my heart just break. Mad respect
Iv been depressed for 9 years with some ups and downs, still the suicidal thoughts occurs just about every day. Still no attempts. The problem with admitting you are suicidal is that you can be locked up in a asylum, and some definitely don't wont that. So in a sentence i can't be honest when i'm talking to a psychologist/therapist. Some just suffer in silence until they can't.
what's wrong ? why are you depressed ?
@@pietromanfredi7078 Nothing specific is ''wrong'' and i don't know why im depressed. That goes for alot of depressed people. Somehow people seem to think you must have a reason for being depressed which is absolute nonsense. For me, meds just have no effect. With that being said i never wanted this, and i would do anything to become healthy again.
+theblackbull55 there are some of these "days" i go through too. but then i just think of all the positivr things and the smile comes back sort of.
theblackbull55 if you are feeling suicidal you need to get help. There are ways for you to get better, I know it’s scary to think of being locked up, but they aren’t going to put you in jail or anything. but if you need help you need to go get it, it’s worth your life
theblackbull55 if you would do anything to become healthy again then go do everything you can. Trust me dude it’s 100% worth it. Go look up ways you can temporarily deal with stress and make yourself feel better, work out, be honest with your therapist, they can help you! Keep going dude life is worth living
Poor guy. That’s so sad and if there’s something that helps him and doesn’t hurt anyone else..then good for him.
I agree.
Can we all pay are respects to dylan and his family
How much?
F
Our*
F
F
my heart breaks for this man. may he find happiness again :(
What a Role Model. Biggest respect to this strong man.
Wow, losing two sons of different age group to suicide must be the hardest thing to cope with... He's still a very strong man even though he had to deal with all that
Too much for one person to handle
Nate Hamann definitely.
@@sevay its picklerick can i have your social
Rick Sanchez which social
@@sevay your insta or Snapchat i dont have a facebook. I could give you mine if you dont feel comfortable doing it
Rick Sanchez but i don’t have Instagram or snapchat :(
The trauma. The grief. I don’t know what I would do.
The last time my eyes watered was years ago. I couldn't believe that i cried hearing this man telling his story. What a brave man he is. I wish him the best.
This man is a warrior, I feel so sad for him, what he has been through is true hell.
He is, sadly the same can't be say it about his sons.
more like a killer.
You can only imagine his sons
I was good friends with both Payton and Dillon. Not only did we share the same school together, but they were my company on our school bus ride home. Tom if you're reading this, thank you so much for what you have contributed to our community. The amount of love and courage in your heart is unimaginable ❤️
-Ramy
Rkeriem nice to see some other people that knew Dillon and Payton. I too knew them as I went to the same school as you.
Rkeriem tbh Happy they shot themselves
HolyBlue Berries I understand you’re doing this to try to get a reaction and prolly don’t even mean it, but how can you even write that In, how do you even have the mindset to think that’s okay
Rkeriem i too go to the same school you went to and people still miss them today they will always be remembered ❤️
+HolyBlue Berries you're human garbage at its finest.
That poor man. Absolutely unthinkable. Sending him so much love and strength.
This is heartbreaking. I can't imagine the pain he's going through. Just remember when you go through tough times in your life there are others who deal with things that are way worse like this poor man. That's what keeps me going and that's why we should always be thankful.
I buried one of my two sons and even I cannot fathom what this dear man has to live with. I wish I could give him a hug and cry with him. His pain is unimaginable. As an aside, I receive ketamine treatments too and they have helped me tremendously. I recommend them especially for those dealing with deep grief and ptsd.
My condolences.
GentlRebel I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you’re doing okay I’m sure your son is in a better place just know that people love and care about you and you will be okay.
Sorry for your loss
Today I Got Time Cuz what’s you problem dude? People are just trying to comfort someone grieving
This hurts to watch...
Give this man anything he needs...
He only need his sons back.
Ashh D.Vladz Crimson IV not gonna happen g
How dare you
This guy has faced the worst thing a parent can face twice. This man is what a modern day warrior looks like, brave and strong.
I’m so sorry for your pain. I was planning to kill myself and getting everything in order. I saw this and my heart hurt. I’m going to call my mom in the morning to help me check into hospital
I hope you are doing well now. It is a relief to know that you decide to seek help yourself. Stay positive!
Hello I hope you are doing well 💖💘
Heyy
U the absolute goat buddy 👍 stay positive and when it gets hard always find some support, you are NEVER alone
I hope and pray that you’re doing well and that you got all the help you need. ❤️
Thanks buzzfeed for sharing this as men need to talk more about this and also seeing alternative treatments that can help others to cope. Prayers to this man as no one should have to go through this ordeal/pain...
Men? All need to talk about this Women and Men go through this... It’s sad.
Timbacto Bros. Men r told to hide their feeling, cause in society, there's this stigma that men shouldn't be vulnerable which is associated with "being weak" for a man, unlike women
Rizkyls Ls I'm aware of this as this stigma/stereotyping needs to be get rid of.
Aspie Answers people need to understand that men cope through pain differently than women do. Sitting in a circle letting their feelings out is how women cope, not men.
Sir fap alot
I'm aware of this as I've seen and heard that men aren't supposed to show their feelings,etc as its s sign of weakness in the eyes of society. The stigma and stereotyping in men is there and real. I believe that men need to learn how to deal/cope with their feelings/emotions. Sorry.
I want to be a part of something that helps people at Christmas time deal with loss. We need things like that in the world.
Go for it! Start something up
YES
That’s a wonderful idea, do that!
Count me in!
Please do this, please don't give up on this idea
I’m so sorry for your loss you poor soul. You were put on this earth to help save lives like mine. You’ve given me hope in a grim existence. Thank you❤️
Psychedelic drugs are known to treat many psychological problems like anxiety, depression, ptsd, and even addiction. This is a big step towards the betterment of our psyche in our country
I got depressed for 2 years because of a bad acid trip.. k, on the other hand was never anything but awesome. Fortunately, i haven't done drugs in 7 years and my life is much better now.
@@SbjsksmNx I think if handled professionally yea treatments with psychedelics can help people like this guy Thomas.
But I know two kids that I went to high school with and acid totally fucked them up.
@@johnb.8687 not all psychadelics are equal, that's for sure.
Too many times society only emphasize in body/corporeal disease to actually researched and made medicine for the mind/mensana health. 2 things that must go hand in hand, because without the other, human will break down.
This man is unbreakable. I would be honored to meet him.
I don‘t wish depression even on my worst enemy.
Exercising (lifting weights mostly) and nutrition i think saved me from my depression and anxiety.
me too man keep it up
Indeed. Changing the lifestyle is the only answer. Not the drugs. Keep it up guys.
me too, its a life changer
@@gazeintotheabyss7390 u Need to shut up!
Keep hitting them weights bro i lift everyday watch you tube vids for constant inspiration CT fletcher,Kali muscle Green, Rich Piana keep going dont stop!!!!!!
Parents force life on kids. It usually works out--we've (most animals?) have evolved to keep trying to live. But it's possible for a rational mind not to want life. That can be painful when it happens to a loved one, but there are lots of different tastes and wants out there.
Hope things work out for the father.
Finally some out of the box thinking
Agree with this 100%!!!! And not just parents but society itself...life can be brutal! It is possible for a rational mind not to want life...only sheeple will insist otherwise..
But. Should we imposed our dislike of living to made crushing sadness and trauma to other people we loved?
@@nurlindafsihotang49 That is the nature of having children. When you decide to let a life into the world, you do not know how much suffering they will have to go through. Or worse - if you didnt plan for a child. Then you just wanted pleasure (sex) and accidentally created a human being that will have to live through all this suffering because of your lust. Creating a life is selfish either way and I dont think that the kids should feel guilty if they cant go on anymore. Should one keep living in suffering just because they are afraid of hurting their parents? Is that what you are asking?
@@simpleape5093 I agree completely. I have always been prone to depression and had a very, very hard childhood. And adolescence. And now as an adult I recently lost my twin sister due to complications of depression. Parents always make the decision to have children knowing at some level that their children could suffer...anything. They decide that the worst potential suffering and trauma is something they are going to risk for their own interests...knowing full well that their child could be abducted, raped, tortured, abused in other ways or horribly, dismally unhappy as I have been my entire life.
They make the decision to proceed. It is hard for me to connect and even feel fondness for people because most seem so determined to do what they want regardless of the suffering they cause others. My only wish is that neither my sister or myself had been born. It is hard to ever let go of the anger.
I know my mind does not see life and reality quite the same way as the vast majority of humans...because if most others thought like me our species would have died out long ago.
Given my recent loss (the pain has been unimaginable)...I feel a deep rage inside me. That everyone knows that life is meaningless at best and horrific at worst and even if I am not grieving my own life...I feel sad for people even more than I feel angry. Basically if I could blink my eyes and disappear forever without leaving a corpse, a mess, or memories...I would. :(
I have never felt this level of sadness for a person I don't know before. I want to hug this man.
i cant see my mom going through this and thats the only reason im not killing myself
Life could be tuff but pls don't commit suicide. We all have to carry a cross just like Jesus did but Jesus is there to help us with our cross just like Simon was there to help Jesus. Take care everyone and God Bless you and your family and REMEMBER JESUS LOVES YOU GUYS TOO EVERYONE
@@VanillaEarth744 fuk ur god
Dont do it. Not only your mom, but everybody who loves you (there's a lot!) Would be devastated. Whatever hard times you are going through, you will get through!
You are loved, you matter. Don't ever forget that.
Why would you comment this? I know why. You want attention.
among all the "drawing with period blood" and "trying on fart proof underwear" videos that buzzfeed often puts out, there are occasionally videos that are really well made and full of emotion. the grief in his voice and the tragedy he faced was so sad, but seeing his process to recovery was very interesting.
dope name you got there kermit
Well said.
I agree too but I do have to say on Buzzfeeds offense that it’s not like these type of videos are easy to make.
kermit sewerside i didn't even realise this was a buzzfeed video until the end
Couldn’t have said it better
All I wish to this man is happiness and success . This broke my heart , all I can see in his eyes is sadness and pain . God bless him . :(
The way he told his story trying to hold back his tears .. made my heart ache honestly .. so proud of him .. I just wanna hug him 😢❤️
you can see the pain in his eyes
Kristine K and hear IT in his Voice
tommi seppa True. I feel very truely sorry for him as someone suffering also with pstd, depression and anxiety. Suicide may seem sometimes to be the solution for everything but in reality its not.. But mostly its its NOT FAIR to cause this kind pain to our FAMILY!
As much as I hate BuzzFeed, I have to give them props for this video. It's awesome.
Im surprised they made a vid like this
May I ask why you hate buzzfeed?
@@hannahslife201 leftists
Hannah06 03 leftists
Leftists
This man is a warrior. Never give up. Never lose hope. My guy ❤
Dam Mister I honestly do not know how you get through each and every day of your life. You can never get over the heart ache. God bless you and your family.
I am so, so sorry. My only son is 3 1/2 months old. I was so sad during my entire pregnancy because of an unloving partner. I pray that my baby doesn’t struggle with depression as he gets older. He’s such a happy baby. I love him so much.
Not sure if your son is the baby in your profile picture, but he's a beautiful an adorable baby. All the best wishes for you and I hope he will be a strong, healthy adult in the future :)
you’re doing a wonderful job mama, as long as your son has you he has the best chance ♥️
Denai Mullet may god bless you and bless him, as a teenager, I’ll tell you one thing, try to be as close with your son as possible and give him freedom, teach him to love himself and to be a gentleman and trust me he won’t even think about suicide, just be there for him as much as you can and always treat him as your bestfriend, try not using hurtful words towards him ( even when you’re mad) and love him for who he is, take care💜
HolyBlue Berries What the hell??? Are you insane? It's not funny. If you think you're funny, you're not. Seriously, this comment pisses me off.
Stay strong baby! You got this!
i lost a friend from suicide... a year later his father committed suicide. he was the only son. it's really sad his father couldn't handle the pain. He too witnessed his son's body when he got home...
Princess Rimando may they both rest in peace
HolyBlue Berries just wait until you loose someone buddy. It’s not going to be funny anymore.
HolyBlue Berries what the hell is wrong with you? Please get therapy.
HolyBlue Berries there’s trolling then there’s just you a sicko that is mentally unstable and gets off on making people feel bad
HolyBlue Berries XDDDDDDD
I can’t stop crying. My heart aches for him. Life is crazy.
i’m so sorry for your losses. sending you loads of healing energy.
This man is so strong if my parents went through anything like this, they would end themselves too...
The sons should go to hell for leaving their family to Suffer such pain
Hurtlocker10 They need our prayers...
Nahh they dont deserve prayers
Hurtlocker10 Oh yes they do, especially they.
Hurtlocker10 nope, the sons didn’t choose to be born and they didn’t choose to struggle through life and depression, suffering.
You mean to say the sons should suffer through a life that they didn’t ask for in the first place so that their parents can be satisfied, you’re very naive.
This man is so strong. I wish I could just give him a hug
Condolences man
Feeling like that is like being in a dark hole u can’t come out of
I’m glad u found something to help
Anything to lift the spirit
This man is an inspiration. I pray and hope that he finds peace.
no parent should have to go through this
Sycorex RBLX no one, should have to go through this. I went through his after my brother died and I didn’t talk to anyone for about two years. I completely shut down.
No one deserves to dig a grave for there family members
This poor man didn't deserve this
Omg 😩 My heart is breaking for this man. 😭 I pray he feels better and has the help he needs to be happy in life. 🙏🏼💗💗
Seeing him in so much pain just makes me want to cry