He's lived with both women, he knows better than anyone. The little boy harry has long gone, harrys brain is addled by drugs. What diana did to those kids was not text book mothering, yet to the cameras it was all love and laughter.
Allegedly RACHEL RAGLAND learnt everything to MANIPULATE H, The Late Queen and KC3 from Diana's... Apparently she has Diana's book written by Andrew Morton... Whatever RACHEL RAGLAND and her ILL INTENTIONS in everything will always catch up back to her in the unexpected mysterious ways she least expected 🤲🤲🤲 forever and ever again and again as time goes by 🕧🕐🌏🌎🌍
A friend of mine's aunt was a lady in waiting to Diana, I've never repeated what he told me about her. However Evelyn 's assessment of her matches exactly with that of my friends aunt.
@@elainemarten Diana had zero notion of family life. Her whole family was dysfunctional for centuries. Charles didn't grow up in a divorced family. He had loving parents and siblings, and lived a pretty normal life for anyone of his class and time. He was naturally warm and affectionate, and perfectly capable of creating a happy family life, but for having the misfortune of being married to a very nasty manipulative woman.
@@mbd6054I don't think she was nasty. She married too young, had little experience of the world, was totally out of her depth initially, could not communicate with her husband, had mental disorders and must have been very stressed. She was surviving the only way she knew. It must have been difficult for both boys, but many people grow up in dysfunctional homes and they put it behind them and get on with their lives.
Plus the Middleton’s being such a lovely oasis for William, where adults are supportive, encouraging but keep a healthy regard for one another too. It’s Michael’s tenderness towards Carol was a good example for William who mirrors that lovely gentlemanly behavior that Royals don’t show towards their spouses.
I think philip was incredibly supportive of the queen and charles is clearly still madly in love with camilla. the late queens parents were also very much in love. i dont think it was charles who had the problem being affectionate it was diana@@judywright4241
He is taking his misguided anguish out on the wrong people. He can't take it out on his mother because of her death. Maybe he feels cheated that he can't?! Following my own father's death, I had a lot of what-ifs, and if onlys, until I was ready to let it go.
Was this part of the reason why perhaps H refused to see Diana before her demise? Is H making up for lost times and guilty feelings by idolising Diana? W used to be super sensitive not keen on the press was told off changed as the future king and tolerate them.
Yes, angry, resentful and also jealous. And I believe he directs that anger towards Charles paradoxically because he was more stable and unconditional. He hankers for her warm maternal love because he never was sure of it. He also can't bring Diana down from her pedestal because then the whole house of cards of his persona crumbles down. He has refused to see the real Diana -all he does is sublimation and coping.
A great read tonight Shauna- thank you. I was riveted. I do think Dianna leaned on William for emotional support which must have been hard for him. So much drama in the home must have been very hard on Charles, William and Harry. The best thing that happened to William was meeting Catherine and the Middleton family and seeing how a normal family lived. It must have brought a sense of peace into his life.
It was totally inappropriate for her to use William as a confidant. And she certainly weaponized both boys against Charles. Not the saintly woman she was portrayed as being.
I agree with both of you. The Middleton's came into William's life at the perfect time . I think they understood and took a soft hand with him ... Mostly a stable family life. I'm so glad Catherine waited 10 years to marry him. I really think she understood him. She could have given up, but didn't.
William was Diana's perfect mate. Meaning, she could mold him into the man she wanted. The fact she confided her sexual escapades to him, forcing him to have to be the one to comfort her, is all kinds of mixed up. She was inappropriate with William.
Shauna, I know you see the rejected little boy. I do too. The only positive thing about that is it gives you a means to forgive some behaviors. The reality is that rejected children have a choice when they grow up. They can be angry and lash out, or they can prove to the world that they didnt deserve what they got by being helpful and compassionate. Being vengful and entitled isn't a good look on anyone.
A lot of flack went down over this book, I believe it was banned in the UK and was eventually published in USA. It's an old book and not that well known... until now. Thank you for reading it it to your viewers.
The fact that he had it banned in the UK when he really comes across quite normal, and an engaged father makes me feel like it’s probably very accurate. The depiction of their home life must have felt voyeuristic.
Absolutely agree! First real read for Me of the behind the scenes how staff are treated to the Children being put purposely between them to cause Charles pain.
But I have read that William used to have to sit with his mother and talk about her personal issues, relationships, how she was feeling, so very sad a young boy had to hear this all. I think Harry was the lucky one who went to his room. So poor William had that tray dinner probably way more than he wanted or needed.
I feel just as sorry for William. He had to listen to all of Diana's complaining and sniveling. He was used as a therapist, which not good for any child, especially a young one.
I think it was that but it was more than that too. William was going to be the future king. Her relationship with him as the future king would be the most beneficial for her. She would have the kings ear and his loyalty because she was building this alliance with him. I believe she was doing this to have more influence over the monarchy. Yes, I believe she was that manipulative.
This is not the first book I've heard that actually shows just how manipulative and unstable Diana was. Is it any wonder Harry turned out like he did? She seems to use William like a pawn against Charles. Ignoring Harry while clearly favoring William is a major way to seed resentment. I am the mom of 3 sons. They are only 3 years apart between all 3. I ALWAYS spent equal time with each. Even going so far as to having a separate "date day" with each son, each weekend. They could choose an activity, 1 son one weekend, one son the next. What Diana did was cruel.
What a miracle William is, I hate to say no wonder Harry is such a mess , he puts up with MM. I am so pleased for King Charles that he has found happiness with Queen Camila.x
I really believe Catherine family helped Will, they're close and stable. He's experienced a normal family life, I believe Catherine also helped his relationship with Charles and Camilla. He has good people around him
@@Tempe1962 why not? Many put H on a pedestal.Probably because Will doesn't stoop to H level, the constant attacks,bringing his kids into things goes out and does his thing with head held high.
My background was far from Royal but around ten or eleven it was deemed I should now eat with my parents, my sisters still ate with their nanny in our case , the kitchen , warm and filled with laughter from the staff . The dining room was cold and the tension palpable! To this day I find it difficult to linger at table , love food but not that long evening wait . Shocked my family and in laws by serving the evening meal at ‘ nursery times ‘ . Privilege can be a poisoned chalice believe me , I remember reading that as much as William loved his mother his heart would sink when he saw her car screech through Eton’s gates , what drama now ? Kids can’t handle all that adult stuff and that division of loyalty! Just another perspective.
"They wont be broken"? Harry + Nutmeg please understand this is all YOUR FAULT! Cos these are the people THEY have treated so bloody badly: A: Nutmegs father + siblings B: Harrys father + siblings C: Our late Queen & Prince Phillip D: Prince & Princess of Wales, plus Princess Charlotte E: The rest of the Royal Family F: The UK people 🇬🇧 G: The Commonwealth H: Nutmegs ex friends I: Nutmegs ex colleagues J: The Press K: Palace staff L: The dog Nutmeg left behind M: Their current staff N: Their current employees O: Sorry, i have to go to work now, but feel free to add 😉😂💯🏴🇬🇧
•The INVICTUS GAMES Veterans •People of AMERICA🇺🇸 •The people whose children they rent out as their own •The people who lost their jobs because of their lack of hard working skills
Please remember that this is not Williams fault that his mother has dinner with him alone. William is a child too and is probably so mixed up by his mothers behaviour. Diana has a lot to blame for how Harry is, not William. Harry has taken it all out on William when at his age now he should be able to see that his mother was mentally unwell and created a lot of the situations that William was used in to get back at Charles. Harry needs to grow up.
I shudder to think of how Harry and Meghan would react to one of their children misbehaving. I didn’t watch the Netflix mockuseries but I did catch the scene of Archie mixing zucchini bread or something else akin to no child finding exciting, and the poor boy looked terrified of making a mess. He behaved very anxiously, where even cousin Ashleigh (that we haven’t heard from since) looked concerned. Compare that scene with Prince George happily mixing Christmas pudding with the Queen, Charles, and William. George was behaving like you’d expect any boy his age.
So the setting is 1992. William is going to boarding school, Harry attends day school. Diana and William have dinners together while Harry is sent to his nursery for dinner alone and early bedtime. William was 9, Harry was 7 and Harry is in a nursery??? Talk about stunted development! What about having dinner together as a family at a proper table? Surely the monarchy has dining rooms, or small dining alcoves, or even a breakfast nook? Maybe an occasional private dinner with a child who needs extra attention at the moment, but night after night and breakfast too? Sheeesh, and I thought she had gone too far with her public announcement of Charles and Camilla, with her pained small voice and appearing so slighted and injured on TV (blabbing about the future king!). She really knew how to spread the toxic. Harry inherited a lot of her dysfunction and to make up for his lack, he married Meghan whose loaded with it.
You heard it was Diana that organised the meals and told the staff what to do with Harry .That Charles was taken back when he was told about eating situation .Now i was a big fan of Diana but no person is perfect but you try to do the best for their children and put on an act for their sake .
Thank God my parents weren't like that. My mom died in 1982, my dad in 1996.I still miss them at times.Diana was a narcissist.There are middle class and poor folks have horrible backgrounds but don't, do to their kids like this.
Diana took from the children what she was incapable of to get from adults. And that is sick, very sick. In the meantime Diana doesn't strike me as very bright. She wasn't the kind of woman to read books on bringing up children or child psychology. If she had been she would have sought help for herself. I'm just glad that throughout the royal houses in Europe the younger generations are getting better educated. Harry though ... isn't helping himself *OR* his children. He's copying his mother's behaviour and worse, and he fails to recognise it.
@@dianehand1396 There were definitely others from as early as the 1920s. I made good use of an anthroposophic book, picking the parts that were relatively easily applicable. It probably depends where one lives. There was the shame factor, I remember that, but that was from family members and not my own.
Diana always struck me as problematic. William getting more attention from the queen and Charles due to his heir position and being at Eton might have been what saved him from too much of his mothers influence. Catherine and her family would have been a great influence after that. Harry on the other hand got his mother during the worst years of the fighting and power struggle between her and Charles. And unfortunately the later influence of the family couldn’t correct his character and the lessons of life he got. Not making excuses for his behaviour now though. Its still very entitled, sometimes downright cruel and obviously plain stupid. But Diana did set the whole stage for the heir and the spare.. and I feel sorry for Charles. He has his faults and weakness, but he seems to really do care for people and all these years he’s been made out the sole villain.
@@lunaandstella825totally agree with you. Thankfully William was able to save himself from his mother’s narcissistic tendencies and find a normal family life within the Middleton family.
Not the Royal Family. Charles. He forbade anybody to tell all about Diana. I've only just heard of this book, so assumed it was only his friends he made shut up. One or two did get an odd word in and reviewed the Panarama pantomime with huge guffaws at her acting. Commenting on her khol eyes, red cheeks and tousled hair. When did she ever look like that. This was the time Charles wrote to Nancy Reagan saying he lived in isolated misery Reagan in a marriage that was like a Greek tragedy.
What is obvious from this very close observation of Charles and Diana’s relationship is that Diana was very needy and wouldn’t have provided Charles with any support at all.
she was so immature with damage I would imagine from her family but at 19 you are still a child, you grow up as an adult in your twenties...Charles was already in his thirties. its a shame the Queen and others insisted the marriage went ahead
Her thing was pretty privilege, I think with aging and other younger woman in the royal family coming up, we would have witnessed some nasty jealousy drama. Poeple say they love her for her humanitarian stuff, but I don't buy it. Others in the royal family do humanitarian stuff too, yet people don't give a damn.
There was no one better than Diana at staging a photograph, and playing the doe eyed victim. The Taj Mahal photograph is the perfect example of the master manipulator's skills.
I think his choice of wife could have a lot to do with William being the man he is. Catherine is a woman who truly loves him, has no wish to outshine him and along with her family been able to show the Prince what a normal loving family should be.
The late Queen and Prince Philip has had an immense influence on the upbringing of William. It is from the two that he gets his unwavering sense of duty towards his country
@@menagamaniyan8808--Certainly that’s the picture Tom Bower painted in ‘The Rebel Prince’. Charles was hurt by William’s closeness to HMTQ and Prince Philip, yet Charles was closer to the Queen’s mother. The surprise from the book was authors CHARLES cooperated with about his ‘lonely childhood’ including interviews that he whined about missing his parents. So Harry complaining was well versed in both his parents.
Wow Diana really wasn't a nice person towards her staff, she comes across as very immature with her tantrums and a little bit vindictive. It's funny how the public put her on a pedestal. I suppose we do that when someone dies, because it's not nice to speak ill of the dead. Charles always seemed to be portrayed as the villain.
People put her on a pedestal because she was beautiful. If she'd been a dog, all the sympathy would have been for Charles. Human nature is very shallow.
@@annamack5823 If charles had married s Camila and really treated her as badly as Diana (falsely)accused him off, and if beautiful young Diana were his Mistress then people wouldn't support Camila as they supported Diana and they wouldn't bully Diana as they bullied Camila.
I think Diana suffered from a mental illness but she was also incredibly manipulative. Charles always gets the short end of the stick somehow when Diana's the one that used her boys to manipulate Charles imo. None of them can help the circumstances they grew up in and there is still ZERO excuses for the cruel behavior being exhibited by Harry now. If he's angry, his mother should get some of the blame too imo.
I do think Diana was mentally ill but like Harry's wife, she had a lot of narcissistic and manipulative tendencies. Both boys saw a lot. I feel for them but Harry has been more than a handful in adult life. He and his wife perpetually get away with much too much.
My father had bipolar disorder and some kind of personality/identity disruption. Cornering a Mercedes at 60 mph would very much have been his style if we'd had that kind of money. So was paying a lot of attention to one of us kids, while ignoring the others, then flip-flopping, and you'd feel like scum when you were the odd one out. And he'd go from sunny to sobbing in half a day's time and start talking about how much better we ungrateful b*stards had it than he did and maybe he should just disappear and unalive himself, and we'd all love it, and then he'd turn a rage on my mom, demand a divorce, then be wailing outside the door at 2 am saying take me back, please, just say I can come back in.
I don’t think anyone really knows what they were like , 3 sides to every story hers his and the truth . I do think Diana was bought in to breed once that task was over she had to make a life for herself . Her boys were everything to her and she proved more popular than Charles and this I think was her downfall .
Those comments about Diana's reckless driving are really interesting because they are repeated elsewhere once by a journalist who felt she could easily have caused an accident either to his vehicle or indeed to herself because of aggressive driving. Also, in Spare, Harry makes mention of an incident that made him feel very frightened when as a child traveling with his mum in the car, she had driven very fast to avoid a journalist. The idea that even with her own child on board she was unable to exercise some degree of self-control, I think says much about her nature.
Sorry Shauna, Harry's a grown man and his cruelty is still unacceptable! No one else in the world would get away with what he's gotten away with because he's a prince. It's not fair to make excuses for him when others have been through worse and haven't resorted to such cruelty. If Harry showed remorse, I would have more empathy but he's not so I don't.
There is an argument to be made that others who are troubled, don't have the world watching. Harry is wrapped up and invested in his anger. He was just getting to an age where he was finding his voice when Diana died...and then she wasn't there to hear him. He actually believed she was alive and hiding from him. I think the saddest part of all of this is how the wife has allowed Harry to entertain unhealthy feelings that have now taken over.
I do not think it is making excuses exactly, this book reading has made me understand better the troublesome little boy who did not get the care and handling he needed to enable him to grow into a well adjusted man. The power of money and position added to his character has helped to create this horror of a man we see now. I find him loathesome, I cannot abide to even hear his voice. It just shows what two damaged personalities can do when they come together with this heady mix of power and money. Pure evil. Who is going to stop them?
@@thevintagereadSeriously? He was 13 when she died. I remember my own childhood from around the age of 18 months, and some of it was quite traumatic. I think he remembers the feeling of being made to feel second best. We're hearing all about it now.
@@thevintagereadYes he said it was because of trauma. And yet he sets himself up as the leading authority and sole inheritor of her legacy. Actually it has left him very vulnerable to manipulation.
Diana was using William as a "confidant"!!! That's why she excluded Harry. It's pretty reprehensible as a mother. Neither of the children should have been treated this way. 😖
@@cookiegirl2cookie197 Thank you. It is a bug-bear of mine 😊 So often journalists say someone admitted something or even revealed it, when the thing is so dubious that the word claim would be much more appropriate.
It seems William was massaged to be more Team Diana than confidante. From other accounts, Harry was a difficult demanding child that his mother gave in to more often than applying consistent discipline and set boundaries. That parenting likely produces a wilful child.
Diana was not the saint everyone likes to believe her to be Being human is complicated and I think she was more complicated than most and allowed her feelings to dictate her behavior. I dont think she was deliberately cruel, but at times, she was, in fact, cruel to the detirement of KC, her children, and the staff / others She probably needed support and guidance she was not getting and I suspect that this was in part because people (besides KC) did not want to take her to task due to her privileged position/ bad reaction/ popularity with the public and because she surrounded herself with sycophants who did not want to see this about her / call her out Im not saying she did not have geniune love and empathy but she was immature, a little spoilt and definitely mentally unstable
Just imagine if Diana would have lived and had other men and maybe even other children in her life ,Harry would have turned his hatred on them all because of his dependence on Diana ...Harry is a horrible younger brother ,but I'll bet he would be a worse older brother to step/half siblings ...I think Charles always treated Harry quite well
I’ve always felt sorry for Charles he has been relentlessly bashed for everything that happened in his marriage to Diana and now Harry is doing the same. I don’t feel sorry for Harry he has a nasty streak he’s a grown man and has a family he needs to take responsibility for his self he shouldn’t be bashing his family it’s disgusting. Harry was and is a spoiled little boy always blaming everyone else for his problems.
Harry has all the s signs of being BI POLAR, as well as damaged, abused child. But, he h as s years of therapy, it appears he only blames Charles, and does not accept that it was his Mother that was the distant, cold, parent. He is an adult, he has to accept his abusive, vindictive, toxic behavior and what it is truly rooted in. He owes his father and the RF. And the People of the Commonwealth a serious, public, apology.
Diana was once incredibly rude and unkind to a young couple standing near me when their baby began crying loudly. We were locked into the building by security and they said couldn't leave until Charles and Diana had left first. She forged ahead of him as she plainly wanted him to ignore the crowd and stop chatting to people. She came and stood in front of us, near the doors with an attendant.The baby began to wail and she turned and snapped at the parents about the noise, embarrassing and upsetting them. The man asked again if security would let them out but they had to wait.I Diana then ignored the poor young woman's tears and her howling baby, turned her back on us all and just stood waiting. Then she smiled and waved at us as though nothing had happened when Charles reached her and they were leaving. After that, she could bat her eyelashes and play the sweet people's princess/queen of hearts, or whatever other self proclaimed title she chose for herself when cameras flashed, but I never could see her as sincere.
As per Lady C, the Spencer’s have a huge mean streak. I have become very sympathetic to King Charles through the years. Also Camilla is more suited to Charles nature than Diana was.
Sorry, but I call bull$hit on Harry. I too, was the left out child. Cruel at times. I turned out to be a wonderful wife and mother. Life is what you make of it. Drown in pitty or show them who's the boss!!
It takes a lot of insight to see dysfunction for what it is and break the cycle. I'm sure I made some mistakes with my son, but I never belittled him or made him feel unloved. That much, I learned.
@@UrbanArtCentral I don't feel it's a compliment. Just had to fight for my life at a young age. The cycle had to be broken and I wanted better for my children.
I initially like Diana. However, in 1985 I saw her "in the flesh" and got such an incredibly bad vibe from her that my opinion changed. She was outwardly very beautiful but there was something off that I couldn't put my finger on. From that point onwards I could see how manipulative and conniving she was but if I dared to voice that opinion I was almost physically abused. Yes MM is very like Diana and Harry is truly her son.
This chapter could be titled "Spare" as it sets the table for Harry's anger. Diana could have done well with a course in Child Development and learned how damaging it is to expose your children to so much. My admiration for William and appreciation for Catherine has grown even more.
Disclaimer: I've never been a huge Diana fan. That said, is it any wonder Charles sought Camilla's company. From all accounts, she's calm, relatively easygoing, has no theatrics or drama, and just simply gets down to business. So many other commenters are on target about Meghan's behavior and especially how Harry should looks at his mother's behavior for many of his issues.
Harry wants all the attention. He always did. There’s something very weird with that man he’s extremely abusive very sexually strange, and I feel sorry for William who’s had to pick up after Harry, his whole life.
I agree. Poor Prince William had to take care of Diana and cover for Harry his entire life. My heart breaks for Prince William and what he has been through with those two. I often wonder if Diana had lived longer would the world have seen the real Diana? Seems poor King Charles also took the brunt of Diana's mental issues.
What doesn't make sense... is that every other report I have heard is that Diana made sure Harry was treated well so he didn't feel like the spare that the press made Harry out to be. Harry was called naughty a lot as a child, a handful... so this author writes about one time William got special treatment because he was nervous about school. This does not cause a lifetime of jealousy. Harry wanted to be King. Yet when William wanted out during his college age, Harry talked him into staying. I think Harry is spoiled. Entitled, lazy and wants the status and money but no responsibility. I agree that Diana was not as amazing as she was portrayed. It's like William got the best qualities from each parent and Harry got the worst of both parents.
Not mental.. what ever that means.. She was a narcissist, cruel person.. I think she had a borderline personality... I feel more sorry for King Charles and Prince William.. being caught up in her vicious behavior.
I believe all of this . I initially liked Diana but in a short time I got the vibes of a spoilt attention seeking immature silly girl . Now I realise she was seriously mentally ill . I’m sure it was how she was born and not all to do with her up bringing , she was simply a nasty narcissistic piece of work .
I am so glad you are reading this book out loud, people do not believe there were 2 dianas, the actress and the victim. Harry recognises his mother in meghan. Diana led Charles a merry dance, he really was very tolerant.
I had years of therapy, beginning in my teens. Eventually, half a century later, I figured it out on my own. But I'm a whole lot smarter than Harry, and I read a lot of books on psychology. Even a therapist can't help you if you have no idea of the problem.
@@erynlasgalen1949 very true , and mental illness can’t really be treated with therapy alone , correct medications & careful use help tremendously to manage the problem .. and I believe Harry has a massive mental health issue , he’s inherited the mental instability of the Spencer clan. I think the Windsor’s etc are pretty well balanced , just sleazy . Jmo 😄
I see how Harry developed such a toxic jealousy for William. Routinely excluding Harry with bedroom dinner trays is over the top. Diana arbitrarily giving the silent treatment to or screaming at staff and predictable over the top crying and sobbing in front of her kids sounds like a personality disorder. I also know Diana didn’t pull these stunts in public. Ever.
@@MaliKamicak "Attachment disorder is a broad term used to describe a series of emotional and behavioural problems that can develop in young children who struggle to form expected bonds to primary caregivers, usually their parents" (Ref The Priory) .Especially when that primary caregiver is fickle, manipulative, superficial, insensitive to the child's needs and uses the children as 'unpaid therapists. (Ref: Me!)
Yes she was diagnosed with a paranoid histrionic disorder. Charles organised for several psychologists to visit her privately, though she absolutely refused to acknowledge that she needed any help and chose to blame Charles for all her unhinged rections and feelings. She was unbelievably difficult to live with and killed all the feelings Charles had for her. He actually was in love with her when he asked her to get married.
@pamelacox540 He may have also had therapy, but the question is what type of therapy? My guess is they were all yes men and women who rather than make him face reality were telling him what he wanted to hear, him being a victim. They were more afraid of his temper and losing the prestige of having a royal client.
Well, the ban should be lifted now. Enough time has elapsed. The truth should always be given an airing. Thank you for giving us the opportunity of hearing some of it in an unbiased fashion.
@@valeriecronin6772 Armchair psychologist, here, so totally UNqualified - but I think a lot of people almost canonize the dead when their relationship was a little distant/troubled at the time they died. Like the guilt evolves into glorifying the person as if they had no human failings. My Mom used to talk about her father that way -- and I only realized well into my adulthood that that was her way of grieving that they weren't that close at all when he died! (She was a young Mom - busy - and their personalities were very different.) Selfish Harry was - what - 13? He probably never spoke w/ her w/out the disdain or indifference of a (boarded) pre-teen when she died. So -- now -- she's perfect -- and Charles/Camilla are awful and flawed humans by contrast. That's what I think. I could be wrong.
@@SookieCee83 As a retired (previously Regisitered) Psychologist, there is always concern when someone whatever their age, idolises a parent, and figuratively has them on a pedestal. In some scenarios it might be appropriate but usually indicates that the person is trying to compensate for something in their relationship with the person they idolise, that was definitely not appropriate.
Diana would say that Harry was better suited to king than William as Wiliam was so sensitive.The Queen Mother would ask William to come visit her as she enjoyed his company. She did not like to have Harry over because of his behavior problems. Perhaps Diana felt the same, too. According to the Imago Theory, we are attracted to choose a mate that mirrors an unresolved relationship that you grew up in. I found it accurate in my marriage. It is a subconscious desire to replicate the unresolved relationship with a parent with the expectations that it will be right now. Meghan reminded Harry of his mother in more ways than her perfume and clothing. It is in the same way where women who grew up with abusive fathers are attracted to the same kind of men as their fathers. The Imago Theory is interesting to read. It is obvious that for Harry the unresolved relationship, is Diana. There is a video of Harry and William where she has returned and the boys run to her. WIlliam gets to her first and is wrapped in her arms. Harry reaches and is seen hitting and kicking William until Diana turns from William and hugs Harry instead. In the video, Harry is a toddler, and William is 4-5 years old. Harry's jealousy and anger towards William apparently started with how Diana mothered them.
I agree - I can see how BOTH boys would be damaged by this (seeing their mother so unhappy) - and even believing it was their father's fault (re: the affair while still married to Diana) - but she too played a role in the dysfunctional marriage and family life. Almost ALL of us have some emotional scars from childhood. It does NOT excuse his current behaviour towards his family. Particularly his grand parents (that was disgraceful) the Queen really loved him and he treated her deplorably. He CONTINUES to behave like a spoiled child and his WIFE does not bring out the best in ANYONE - she really is TOXIC in my opinion.
The more I hear about Diana the more I realize she was an overgrown teenager who was spoiled and entitled. It’s my opinion that a lot of Willam and Harry’s problems are really Diana’s fault. William can’t be blamed, he was still a child (and what child doesn’t love attention from a parent). However, Diana needed to grow up and think about both of her children instead of herself.
I had a sister-in-law much like Diana: beautiful, conniving, histrionic, faithless--the whole shebang. The rest of our family had to pitch in and raise her son, and my brother got custody when he divorced her. That pathetic, vain woman was jealous of any attention her son got.
And this is one of the interesting things about Harry. He has caused a huge part of the world into the reality of his mother’s personality. Charles never did.
I think Diana herself was damaged by her own childhood. Despite her saying that she hated the press she certainly played up to them a good deal. You can se the effect on Harry in particular. No one could turn out to be normal after that kind of childhood though I don't excuse him for what he has done in his adulthood.
Clearly he loved her, and Diana could not have failed to pick up on it, which amplified her hysterical behavior. In her heart it was yet another abandonment. People with psychological problems never asked to be that way.
Leila it could not have been done .The World is now more tolerant but there are still some very nasty people who make judgements based on inadequate research and prejudice. I have suffered because I have consistently defended King Charles and it is not a comfortable place to be .
@@TK-xh1xcAndrew Parker Bowles and Camilla had a long relationship before they married. He was a well known lothario and he started a " romance " with Princess Anne. Camilla was upset and decided to cultivate the Prince of Wales to make Andrew jealous but Charles aged 18 or 19 did the unthinkable and fell in love with her. Camilla had no expectation of marriage to Charles and I think was persuaded by her family to marry Andrew.
I lived near Tetbury, the market town closest to Highgrove ,and can assure you the likelihood of finding a styling brush there was slim to none! Evelyn must have had to drive to Swindon, quite a distance away and famous for its treacherous round about, to find the brush.
I'll simultaneously agree and disagree with you on this point. Showing your unbalanced und unrife feelings and emotional bursts in front of your children, weaponizing them or using them as therapists is what is harmful to children. Normal and balanced displays of emotions are perfectly fine.
It's about time that Diana was exposed for being manipulative ,don't blame Charles ,there are 2 sides to every story ,but Charles has always been blamed when the world has never come to terms with the fact that Diana was not the perfect person
I love this book as it gives a different parenting of King Charles As it is still out there that Diane was the parent who was the most caring but it looks like she was slyly pushing Charles to the fringe and imprinting her as the caring parent. So unfair
I have seen videos of the two of them with William when he was very little. She was not very engaged, and seemed distant and perhaps bored. Charles was much more engaged.
Absolutely, he covered for dianas infidelity and took it on the chin over camilla, he was intent on shielding the boys from their mothers behaviour. I feel sorry for Charles, now that he finally found his feet he's now got another mountain to climb.
Except at my age a contemporary of Diana always knew she was adulterous and a silly conniving woman and have been extremely frustrated over the years as she has become more and more sanctified. I am not denying she did good by her work with landmones and Aids patients, but equally we all knew her as duplitous, hence I have always had a lot of time for Charles who also does a lot of charity work and promoting good causes including environmental and antiracism via his business trusts.
Where was Harry living during this time if he was still at Day school. I wonder if Harry spent a lot of time with Diana and her trays and William was prioritised during school breaks ?? Harry must have got a lot of attention during the time William was away I would think. Thank you, I love this book.
Sue Stewart makes a very valid point here. However, turn the perspective around to Harry. He is used to having his mother's attention, but when William comes home, suddenly he is no longer his mother's sole focus. I can see how this would affect Harry, and make him jealous and resentful towards his elder brother. He blames William for this when it wasn't, and isn't William's fault at all. I think it is very possible that Charles saw the storm in a teacup brewing, and endeavoured to balance it out, growing closer to Harry during his childhood than he was with William. In no way am I saying that either boy was loved more or less by either parent. Imagine feeling growing resentment towards your brother and constantly being reminded that your nemesis (in Harry's view) will be the one promoted to monarch, and there's nothing he can do to alter that. Surely this had a significant impact on his self-esteem. Charles often gets a very raw deal regarding his parenting, but I simply see a man trying to do the best he can for his sons within the confines of an ill-suited marriage.
i always thought that one of the meanest things diana did was getting rid of barbara barnes without even allowing her to say good to the children who had been close to her for about six years. appalling thing to do. william invited her to his wedding@@annatjienilsen539
I am not at all surprised by any of this. The big clue was given years ago when it was reported that Diana used to cry on William’s shoulder and burden him with her divorce or break-up woes. That spoke volumes about a toxic relationship. Add to that, Harry’s lifelong behavior of showing off to keep the attention on him. That started young, and persists. When you see him in a group or crowd with Meghan, he is always shouting across the room, or leaning in front of someone to speak across them to someone else. Now, we just have to wait for Lili’s and Archie’s memoirs.
Except, Diana’s mother did not leave her. She was denied custody of her kids (that she wanted!) because her own mother testified against her in court during the divorce proceedings that her husband (Diana’s father) had not been abusive towards her. Apparently, Diana’s mother was devastated and cried every time she had to say goodbye to her children. Lady C’s book The real Diana describes this in great detail.
@@LemonwaterLally yes, I suppose that makes sense. I mean, even today BPD is incredibly difficult to live with and we know much more about it than 40 years ago. If Diana did have it, it would have been practically impossible to manage back then, I’m sure. I can’t condone her behaviour in the chapter, but if the reason was a severe mental ilness / condition, I feel for her.
@@MsMusicalways I feel for her too, my daughter has bpd and it’s a terrible thing to cope with for her and the family…..the children of someone with bpd suffer tremendously as well, I feel for everyone concerned
I was on a used booksellers site the other day. They were out of “housekeepers diary” and had 25 people waiting for it! I’m sure it’s risen from obscurity due to your show 😊
I bought my copy last week ebay (UK) for £6.99. The display picture of the book's cover was in Russian. I checked the description and it said language - English so I bought it. When it arrived the cover was in English, so I'm glad I checked, having waited months for a reasonably price copy.
I never liked Diana, always acting coy and vulnerable whilst being spoiled , entitled and ruthless, but now I understand where Harry got it from, when he so famously said: What Meghan wants, Meghan gets ! Meghan also seems to copy Diana's melodramatics- boy oh boy, what a class act.
Hi Shawna, I noticed you called Diana a narcissist earlier in the video while you were reading about some of her characteristics. I am a retired psychotherapist. I hold a triple master's in marriage and family therapy. Clinical psychology and counseling psychology. In my opinion, Diana displayed behaviors of borderline personality disorder. Diana’s background of the trauma of abandonment by her mother and the emotional unavailability set the stage perfectly for the psychosis. An easy way to understand borderline personality disorder is that the person will say, I love you, I hate you don’t leave me, which is exactly what Diana played out throughout her marriage with Charles. Especially self-harming behaviors are a characteristic of both lines along with splitting behaviors. An example of that would be one minute. They will also triangulate relationships. Borderline personality disorders are famous for The Adore You. You are their best friend and then you do something that they don’t like and that’s it. How she treated her dresser with the screaming and so forth that’s typical behavior of a borderline. You are the best thing on the face of the planet and then they drop you and won’t give you the time of day. Once you’re out you’re out for good with a borderline personality disorder Individuals are very difficult people to love. if you have any questions or would like more information about psychology, psychopathology, behaviors, etc. just let me know I’ll be glad to answer them. You are welcome to message me on Twitter and I’ll be happy to share my knowledge and answer any questions you may have.
I had a mother like that. She had lost her own mother at the age of four and then was shuttled between relatives thereafter. After fifty years of reflection I finally realized that she had unreasonable expectations of both marriage and her relationship with her children, as if she expected us to fill the hole her lost mother had left. No small child can be expected to do that. My late mother's traits fit both narcissistic and borderline, and I have managed to forgive her at least intellectually because no one asks to be that way.
Thanks for the insights! Most illuminating. Much I had 'felt' - gut feel, rather than education and learning. But good to know my senses were on the right track. Never did see in Diana what others saw.
I note what you say, but in fairness to someone for whom I had a great admiration, Diana’s mother, Frances. She did not abandon her children at all, she left a severely abusive husband because he beat her in front of the children , the Earl secured sole custody of the children because his mother in law M who KNEW the situation, supported the Earl, then he used every means possible to block Frances’s access to her children. Furthermore he had very little to do with his children , he had been married to his second wife for some time before he told the children. Those are facts,
Do you think. In Harry’s mind his mother is the wonderful person who loved him was always there for him. He has built maybe a fairytale princess perfect in all things.
Possibly. I wonder if there is buried anger there too. W got 2 more years with her than he did. He may have seen Diana’s over sharing with William as her preferring him. He might have some blame towards her for not wearing a seatbelt, allowing the driver to speed, etc, etc. And he didn’t take her last phone call. I think he’s hiding his real sources of anger from himself and channeling it externally towards the living.
I personally know how mean she could be. A good friend of hers and mine was suddenly dropped after years of friendship. NOT me my friend, for no reason at all.
I feel so bad for Charles , i’ve read the book by lady Colin Campbell, the real Diana, and that really reveals Diana‘s mental illness. I do believe in the beginning of the marriage she was seen by a psychiatrist and they did diagnose her and I think in the way, Harry has inherited that part of Diana and thank goodness, William has Catherine and the Midleton’s. I know the queen spent a lot of time with William also him being the future heir
I got the impression Diana was exhausted by Harry, he obviously suffered from some sort of attention deficit. He was uncontrollable. I think this is why by the end of the day she would have had enough of Harry. Most of Harry’s problems were caused by his mother, she refused to discipline him or allow others to discipline him! The real reason the investigation into Harry’s wife’s bullying was kept secret I suspect is because it would have come out that several members of the royal family bullied staff. I think Harry’s wife’s bullying the worst, LCC said the staff claimed she took sadistic delight in bullying the staff!
I had a mother who shared her every emotion with us and would often imply it was our fault she was upset. It was very damaging to all 3 of us. It causes me to have a disdain for Diana.
When I relayed this story of supper in bed without H whilst watching TV to my mother, her response was "Diana would never have done that". 🤷♀ I'm beginning to see why this book was banned in the UK. It really does show Dianas mental illness in all its infamy. Its also increasingly more obvious why H was bamboozled by M's portrayal of Diana. I always though Hs pain of his mothers death was because of his losing her - now I see its probably more a case of losing what he didnt get from her.
It is frequently said that Diana would love Catherine and despise Meghan. I am not sure her insecurities would have allowed her to be too close to either one of her daughters in law. She was so desperate for her sons’ adoration that she might have looked upon them as competition. I don’t think her EQ was very high. She could be amazingly loving and compassionate to those connected with her charities, but not so much to those in her immediate circle.
She wouldn't have got on with Catherine, because she's bright, sensible, caring, which Diana wasn't. Jane Spencer, the sensible sister, was the sibling Diana got on with the least, and it would have been the same with Catherine.
Diana would have disliked Catherine intensely. Firstly, she would have seen her as competition for control of William. Secondly, Catherine is not manipulative or a game player. She is honest and sincere. Diana would have seen Catherine as straight laced and stuffy, and not her sort of person. Quite likely Diana might have liked MM more, because she'd have seen that MM and Harry might have been of use in her manipulations of the media, and her spinning of tales.
It doesn't matter weather its Royalty or the person on the street who are in a unhappy marriage you don't use your children as pawns to hurt the other parent, and you dont have a favourite child, when a parent singles out a child ( usually the older one ) in a unhappy marriage its because the parent wants company, they want someone to talk to, they want someone to love and a they will end up telling that child there problems and slagging off the other parent, they tell a child things no child should hear or be part off, because they are asking that child to take sides. In my opinion Prince Charles was the better parent as he treated the children equally and spent time with them together Im sorry but you do make excuses for Diana she shouts at staff, sulks, treats her children badly, and doesn't seem to have much empathy its one rule for her but another for Charles. We all knew she wasn't a saint but im seeing signs of narcissistic behaviour in Diana behind closed doors and a facade infront of the public 🤔
I try to balance it a little but I know people will be able to form their own view from what I am sharing from the book. I’m not making excuses just discussing other possible perspectives. I think it was obvious I didn’t approve of her parenting! It isn’t about what I think though I’m just reviewing and tossing ideas around. Everyone can form their own view. Thanks for sharing yours x
I get the feeling Shauna takes heat from the Diana apologists in the comment section so she tries to be fair to everyone, but at least from the perspective of Wendy Barry, it’s pretty obvious Diana was a nightmare. But if she were to read from other books, like Paul Burrell’s for example, it would be an exceedingly pro-Diana book. People are complicated and messy. Diana obviously had good qualities, and if she liked a staff member, they were probably dazzled by her, but other staff who either were frozen out by her or were just more observant and neutral in the War of the Wales, probably couldn’t look past Diana’s appalling behaviour at times.
She always looked staged, with that creepy glare of hers. In this case, even the loud colors she wore were calculated to remind people of heart's blood and purple passion.
Dianna admit in her book,that she used go into the toilet t to sob,then ask William who was just outside to pass her tissue under the door,and he would say I'll take care of you mummy. So to my way of thinking, William had a far worse childhood than Harry. No very young child should be expected to take care of his mums mental problems
I had to do the same for my mother, who had NPD, from when I was seven years old, all the time being told by her that there was something seriously wrong with me. Once I learned about narcissism, ( after she had died ) I understood that this was projection. It’s incredibly damaging to a child and the psychological abuse leaves lifelong scars, but I have made a success of my life despite this. I’m so glad that William married into and was embraced by Catherine’s loving family.
I see what you mean about William getting one-on-one time with his mother and dinnertrays while Harry is being shoved of to the nursery. BUT, when William is at boardingschool Harry has his mother all to himself - which is a lot. And William isn't at home so often under the schoolyear, so I guess his mother wanted to make the most of these rare weekends I guess. But otherwise, the sobbing infront of her boys and all that 'toxic' behaviour towards her staff and manipulating the boys and the press ... ... ... I just want to shout at her to get a grip on herself ... or so.
Great chapter Shauna. I always look forward to this one. The book is a treasure trove of information. This just highlights how damaging “narratives” are in the press. Charles was always shown as a villain & Diana the victim? But she was very much a perpetrator? I liked her. I was a kid back then. But now as an adult, can’t help but be confronted with confirmation of how manipulative she was? Which I had figured out some time ago. Yes her exclusion of Harry is mean spirited. But he’s too far gone now for me to feel bad for him
@@thevintageread Agree. I always did feel bad for both William & Harry. Watching them back when Diana died walking with their heads bowed behind her coffin? One of the saddest things I’d seen & my heart broke for them. That’s why I always rooted for them both. But Harry has been such a disappointment words fail me.
Shauna, having you read and comment on Wendy Barry's book is my absolute favorite YT thing these days and I wish the book had no end - if only! You're a joy.💐💚
You are so compassionate, Shauna. For some people who are hurt and damaged like H was never do recover. It depends on their personality type and I think that he had a very dependent personality. That constant type of rejection is never going to be made up for but the frequent cuddling and hanging on to his mother the way he did. Then the death of Diana at his very important developmental stage would have been an indelible scar on his personality. I can feel sorry for H and the trauma he suffered without excusing his behaviour now as an adult.
I have always felt bad for Charles. He married a woman who was mentally ill & refused treatment. Now he has a son who displays the same mental illness.
Diana really used the boys as chips in her poker-game approach to marriage. It's not so surprising Harry is such a mess. What is surprising is how well-balanced William is.
Honestly, I was never a big fan of Diana. As I have gotten older, I have tried to be fairer. Listening to this book though, has convinced me I was right all along. She actually reminds me of Harry, I think they apple definitely hasn't fallen far from the tree. She really was very self centered, thoughtless and self absorbed. For all her grievances, she never seemed to give a thought for anyone else. I also think he is a chip off the block when it comes to his feelings about the Royal Family: The two of them loved all the perks, the attention etc etc etc when it fit their moods, when it didn't... well we get tell all's and vitriol.
The more I hear about Diana, the more I think Harry might be right that Meghan is like her.
He's lived with both women, he knows better than anyone.
The little boy harry has long gone, harrys brain is addled by drugs. What diana did to those kids was not text book mothering, yet to the cameras it was all love and laughter.
More like the other ones nasty wife studied Fiana and plays her out for hawwy😊
Allegedly RACHEL RAGLAND learnt everything to MANIPULATE H, The Late Queen and KC3 from Diana's... Apparently she has Diana's book written by Andrew Morton...
Whatever RACHEL RAGLAND and her ILL INTENTIONS in everything will always catch up back to her in the unexpected mysterious ways she least expected 🤲🤲🤲 forever and ever again and again as time goes by 🕧🕐🌏🌎🌍
@@suemcdermott2947 meghan's a born natural.
Thats what I think too
A friend of mine's aunt was a lady in waiting to Diana, I've never repeated what he told me about her. However Evelyn 's assessment of her matches exactly with that of my friends aunt.
Thank goodness Princess Catherine has taken the stance she has on her children’s upbringing and home life.
Catherine, Princess of Wales or Princess William.
King Charles actually tried to make a good home life for his boys
@@3_times_mum520 how could he know how, he had no experience to fall back on, it was Diana who did that
@@elainemarten Diana had zero notion of family life. Her whole family was dysfunctional for centuries. Charles didn't grow up in a divorced family. He had loving parents and siblings, and lived a pretty normal life for anyone of his class and time. He was naturally warm and affectionate, and perfectly capable of creating a happy family life, but for having the misfortune of being married to a very nasty manipulative woman.
@@mbd6054I don't think she was nasty. She married too young, had little experience of the world, was totally out of her depth initially, could not communicate with her husband, had mental disorders and must have been very stressed. She was surviving the only way she knew.
It must have been difficult for both boys, but many people grow up in dysfunctional homes and they put it behind them and get on with their lives.
Thank God William got a good wife in Catherine, I believed she stabilized him, showing him what real family life is.
Plus the Middleton’s being such a lovely oasis for William, where adults are supportive, encouraging but keep a healthy regard for one another too. It’s Michael’s tenderness towards Carol was a good example for William who mirrors that lovely gentlemanly behavior that Royals don’t show towards their spouses.
I think philip was incredibly supportive of the queen and charles is clearly still madly in love with camilla. the late queens parents were also very much in love. i dont think it was charles who had the problem being affectionate it was diana@@judywright4241
Yes! And thank god Charles has Camilla-a good wife!
He!He! Where is she now?
@@Kerrry-34 wouldn't you like to know, but it's none of your business🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🙄
The Harry situation is making more sense… I’ve always thought Harry’s anger has a lot to do with Diana.
But even she described him as a "handful". The anger has always been in him but it doesn't sound as if she treated him fairly.
Agree
He is taking his misguided anguish out on the wrong people. He can't take it out on his mother because of her death. Maybe he feels cheated that he can't?!
Following my own father's death, I had a lot of what-ifs, and if onlys, until I was ready to let it go.
And this is added fuel to his anger towards his brother.
Was this part of the reason why perhaps H refused to see Diana before her demise? Is H making up for lost times and guilty feelings by idolising Diana? W used to be super sensitive not keen on the press was told off changed as the future king and tolerate them.
I think Harry's actually angry at his mother and is taking it out on everyone else and of course William.
I agree
A child psychologist I knew suspects this.
I've always thought that Harry is angry at his mother but doesn't dare show that because of St Diana image .
Yes! I've thought that for a good while.
Yes, angry, resentful and also jealous. And I believe he directs that anger towards Charles paradoxically because he was more stable and unconditional. He hankers for her warm maternal love because he never was sure of it. He also can't bring Diana down from her pedestal because then the whole house of cards of his persona crumbles down. He has refused to see the real Diana -all he does is sublimation and coping.
A great read tonight Shauna- thank you. I was riveted.
I do think Dianna leaned on William for emotional support which must have been hard for him. So much drama in the home must have been very hard on Charles, William and Harry. The best thing that happened to William was meeting Catherine and the Middleton family and seeing how a normal family lived. It must have brought a sense of peace into his life.
It was totally inappropriate for her to use William as a confidant. And she certainly weaponized both boys against Charles. Not the saintly woman she was portrayed as being.
I agree with both of you. The Middleton's came into William's life at the perfect time . I think they understood and took a soft hand with him ... Mostly a stable family life. I'm so glad Catherine waited 10 years to marry him. I really think she understood him. She could have given up, but didn't.
William was Diana's perfect mate. Meaning, she could mold him into the man she wanted. The fact she confided her sexual escapades to him, forcing him to have to be the one to comfort her, is all kinds of mixed up. She was inappropriate with William.
I think Diana behaviour was emotions from her husband,still don't blame her.Harry is still upset,I still believe he will change.
Yes. And he is happy now. You can see that all over him.
Shauna, I know you see the rejected little boy. I do too. The only positive thing about that is it gives you a means to forgive some behaviors. The reality is that rejected children have a choice when they grow up. They can be angry and lash out, or they can prove to the world that they didnt deserve what they got by being helpful and compassionate. Being vengful and entitled isn't a good look on anyone.
Agree 💕
I've been rejected by my mother's and sisters. I need to think about this.
In some ways I think King Charles should be thanking Wendy Barry for writing this book.
Best comment!
A lot of flack went down over this book, I believe it was banned in the UK and was eventually
published in USA.
It's an old book and not that well known... until now.
Thank you for reading it it to your viewers.
Bet it was 😊
The fact that he had it banned in the UK when he really comes across quite normal, and an engaged father makes me feel like it’s probably very accurate. The depiction of their home life must have felt voyeuristic.
Absolutely agree! First real read for Me of the behind the scenes how staff are treated to the Children being put purposely between them to cause Charles pain.
Diana comes across as very spoilt and entitled, see where H gets it from.
Diana also had a rough childhood.
Millions around the world had rough ones@@gingerroot8906
Agreed
@@malgorzatachrobak9676 your not right in the head either 😂😂
Diana wasn't really suited for the role. Btw Camilla was a poor choice too.
But I have read that William used to have to sit with his mother and talk about her personal issues, relationships, how she was feeling, so very sad a young boy had to hear this all. I think Harry was the lucky one who went to his room. So poor William had that tray dinner probably way more than he wanted or needed.
diana sounds like a nightmare. maybe markle and diana had more in common then we realise>>>>>
Harry said she was like his mother. Now we know what he meant
I feel just as sorry for William. He had to listen to all of Diana's complaining and sniveling. He was used as a therapist, which not good for any child, especially a young one.
That’s why Harry didn’t get invited to the “dinner on a tray” in her room. She needed to tell Wm about her boyfriends.
Parentification
I think it was that but it was more than that too. William was going to be the future king. Her relationship with him as the future king would be the most beneficial for her. She would have the kings ear and his loyalty because she was building this alliance with him. I believe she was doing this to have more influence over the monarchy. Yes, I believe she was that manipulative.
Do Harry a favor and gift him this book when you are finished.
Can he read?
@katherinegans5040 😂😂😂
He doesn't read books.
No, Meghan will get more ideas on how to behave like Diana.
This is not the first book I've heard that actually shows just how manipulative and unstable Diana was. Is it any wonder Harry turned out like he did? She seems to use William like a pawn against Charles. Ignoring Harry while clearly favoring William is a major way to seed resentment. I am the mom of 3 sons. They are only 3 years apart between all 3. I ALWAYS spent equal time with each. Even going so far as to having a separate "date day" with each son, each weekend. They could choose an activity, 1 son one weekend, one son the next. What Diana did was cruel.
What a miracle William is, I hate to say no wonder Harry is such a mess , he puts up with MM. I am so pleased for King Charles that he has found happiness with Queen Camila.x
I really believe Catherine family helped Will, they're close and stable. He's experienced a normal family life, I believe Catherine also helped his relationship with Charles and Camilla. He has good people around him
William a miracle.Why do so many make the mistake of putting him on a pedestal?
@@Tempe1962 why not? Many put H on a pedestal.Probably because Will doesn't stoop to H level, the constant attacks,bringing his kids into things goes out and does his thing with head held high.
My background was far from Royal but around ten or eleven it was deemed I should now eat with my parents, my sisters still ate with their nanny in our case , the kitchen , warm and filled with laughter from the staff . The dining room was cold and the tension palpable! To this day I find it difficult to linger at table , love food but not that long evening wait . Shocked my family and in laws by serving the evening meal at ‘ nursery times ‘ . Privilege can be a poisoned chalice believe me , I remember reading that as much as William loved his mother his heart would sink when he saw her car screech through Eton’s gates , what drama now ? Kids can’t handle all that adult stuff and that division of loyalty! Just another perspective.
"They wont be broken"? Harry + Nutmeg please understand this is all YOUR FAULT! Cos these are the people THEY have treated so bloody badly:
A: Nutmegs father + siblings
B: Harrys father + siblings
C: Our late Queen & Prince Phillip
D: Prince & Princess of Wales, plus Princess Charlotte
E: The rest of the Royal Family
F: The UK people 🇬🇧
G: The Commonwealth
H: Nutmegs ex friends
I: Nutmegs ex colleagues
J: The Press
K: Palace staff
L: The dog Nutmeg left behind
M: Their current staff
N: Their current employees
O:
Sorry, i have to go to work now, but feel free to add 😉😂💯🏴🇬🇧
Na , you nailed it 😂
👏
@@allthatfluffnstuffQLDaustralia
😅😂😅😂😅
What a perfect list -good job !!😂
O: The staff she bullied while still living in the UK.
•The INVICTUS GAMES Veterans
•People of AMERICA🇺🇸
•The people whose children they rent out as their own
•The people who lost their jobs because of their lack of hard working skills
Please remember that this is not Williams fault that his mother has dinner with him alone. William is a child too and is probably so mixed up by his mothers behaviour. Diana has a lot to blame for how Harry is, not William. Harry has taken it all out on William when at his age now he should be able to see that his mother was mentally unwell and created a lot of the situations that William was used in to get back at Charles. Harry needs to grow up.
More to the point, had Diana been as nice as her public persona there may well have been a happy marriage!
Holy crap! Craziest part is that harry's wife truly acts like Diana. It's no wonder he doesn't react to the behavior
Interesting, you would think harry would spend more time with his children instead of flying all over the world.
Great point!
I shudder to think of how Harry and Meghan would react to one of their children misbehaving. I didn’t watch the Netflix mockuseries but I did catch the scene of Archie mixing zucchini bread or something else akin to no child finding exciting, and the poor boy looked terrified of making a mess. He behaved very anxiously, where even cousin Ashleigh (that we haven’t heard from since) looked concerned.
Compare that scene with Prince George happily mixing Christmas pudding with the Queen, Charles, and William. George was behaving like you’d expect any boy his age.
The invisible children?
@@susancarter9351Archificial and Invisiblet.
Children
I never liked Diana. & it seems Harry is a repeat version.
Ditto
What if she has been in witness protection all this time?
I never liked her either cause I could see she was a troubled, entitled and manipulative person.
So the setting is 1992. William is going to boarding school, Harry attends day school. Diana and William have dinners together while Harry is sent to his nursery for dinner alone and early bedtime. William was 9, Harry was 7 and Harry is in a nursery??? Talk about stunted development! What about having dinner together as a family at a proper table? Surely the monarchy has dining rooms, or small dining alcoves, or even a breakfast nook? Maybe an occasional private dinner with a child who needs extra attention at the moment, but night after night and breakfast too? Sheeesh, and I thought she had gone too far with her public announcement of Charles and Camilla, with her pained small voice and appearing so slighted and injured on TV (blabbing about the future king!). She really knew how to spread the toxic. Harry inherited a lot of her dysfunction and to make up for his lack, he married Meghan whose loaded with it.
You heard it was Diana that organised the meals and told the staff what to do with Harry .That Charles was taken back when he was told about eating situation .Now i was a big fan of Diana but no person is perfect but you try to do the best for their children and put on an act for their sake .
Thank God my parents weren't like that. My mom died in 1982, my dad in 1996.I still miss them at times.Diana was a narcissist.There are middle class and poor folks have horrible backgrounds but don't, do to their kids like this.
Thiis is a shocking story how the mother treating her kids in an uncomfortable way.
yeah
Diana took from the children what she was incapable of to get from adults. And that is sick, very sick.
In the meantime Diana doesn't strike me as very bright. She wasn't the kind of woman to read books on bringing up children or child psychology. If she had been she would have sought help for herself.
I'm just glad that throughout the royal houses in Europe the younger generations are getting better educated. Harry though ... isn't helping himself *OR* his children. He's copying his mother's behaviour and worse, and he fails to recognise it.
Having lived through that time with similar needs, help wasn't generally available, and parenting books were limited to Dr. Spock. It was a tough era.
@@dianehand1396
There were definitely others from as early as the 1920s. I made good use of an anthroposophic book, picking the parts that were relatively easily applicable. It probably depends where one lives. There was the shame factor, I remember that, but that was from family members and not my own.
Diana always struck me as problematic. William getting more attention from the queen and Charles due to his heir position and being at Eton might have been what saved him from too much of his mothers influence. Catherine and her family would have been a great influence after that. Harry on the other hand got his mother during the worst years of the fighting and power struggle between her and Charles. And unfortunately the later influence of the family couldn’t correct his character and the lessons of life he got. Not making excuses for his behaviour now though. Its still very entitled, sometimes downright cruel and obviously plain stupid. But Diana did set the whole stage for the heir and the spare.. and I feel sorry for Charles. He has his faults and weakness, but he seems to really do care for people and all these years he’s been made out the sole villain.
@@dianehand1396😂😂😂 No there were plenty of parenting books. Plus Diana had access to whatever medical care she needed or wanted.
@@lunaandstella825totally agree with you. Thankfully William was able to save himself from his mother’s narcissistic tendencies and find a normal family life within the Middleton family.
The UK banning this book is one of many gifts from the Royal family to Diana given at their own expense.
Not the Royal Family. Charles. He forbade anybody to tell all about Diana. I've only just heard of this book, so assumed it was only his friends he made shut up. One or two did get an odd word in and reviewed the Panarama pantomime with huge guffaws at her acting. Commenting on her khol eyes, red cheeks and tousled hair. When did she ever look like that. This was the time Charles wrote to Nancy Reagan saying he lived in isolated misery Reagan in a marriage that was like a Greek tragedy.
What is obvious from this very close observation of Charles and Diana’s relationship is that Diana was very needy and wouldn’t have provided Charles with any support at all.
she was so immature with damage I would imagine from her family but at 19 you are still a child, you grow up as an adult in your twenties...Charles was already in his thirties.
its a shame the Queen and others insisted the marriage went ahead
Camilla is a better Queen than Di would have ever been.
@@ichibonfriend2923absolutely agree. I think Camilla is the perfect wife, partner and support to Charles.
Her thing was pretty privilege, I think with aging and other younger woman in the royal family coming up, we would have witnessed some nasty jealousy drama. Poeple say they love her for her humanitarian stuff, but I don't buy it. Others in the royal family do humanitarian stuff too, yet people don't give a damn.
And she was mean.
She knew full well that Charles had to attend a trade event with a British MP on that day so she deliberately played that role at the Taj Mahal.
smart lady
@@elainemartenManipulative lady.
There was no one better than Diana at staging a photograph, and playing the doe eyed victim. The Taj Mahal photograph is the perfect example of the master manipulator's skills.
I'm surprised William turned out so well.
So am I!
I think it's the result of intensive training and grooming.
I think his choice of wife could have a lot to do with William being the man he is. Catherine is a woman who truly loves him, has no wish to outshine him and along with her family been able to show the Prince what a normal loving family should be.
The late Queen and Prince Philip has had an immense influence on the upbringing of William. It is from the two that he gets his unwavering sense of duty towards his country
@@menagamaniyan8808--Certainly that’s the picture Tom Bower painted in ‘The Rebel Prince’. Charles was hurt by William’s closeness to HMTQ and Prince Philip, yet Charles was closer to the Queen’s mother. The surprise from the book was authors CHARLES cooperated with about his ‘lonely childhood’ including interviews that he whined about missing his parents. So Harry complaining was well versed in both his parents.
Never forget tears are a mighty weapon to manipulate. And the boys were only children. Diana was very manipulative.
Like somebody else sitting on the floor crying...one tear..left eye..
@@cookiegirl2cookie197exactly. She was a narcissist. She lived and adored all the attention.
Wow Diana really wasn't a nice person towards her staff, she comes across as very immature with her tantrums and a little bit vindictive. It's funny how the public put her on a pedestal. I suppose we do that when someone dies, because it's not nice to speak ill of the dead. Charles always seemed to be portrayed as the villain.
You need to really watch videos of TH-camr who is doing review of Lady C's book the real Diana till now she has completed 5 chapter
@@krishnavyas313 yes I have watched that review, I was suprised how Diana stalked Charles
I really dislike that particular utuber, she is so obviously biased toward Lady C, I had to turn her off. She grates on my nerves.
People put her on a pedestal because she was beautiful. If she'd been a dog, all the sympathy would have been for Charles. Human nature is very shallow.
@@annamack5823 If charles had married s Camila and really treated her as badly as Diana (falsely)accused him off, and if beautiful young Diana were his Mistress then people wouldn't support Camila as they supported Diana and they wouldn't bully Diana as they bullied Camila.
The Astin Martin he got when he was 21 and has now converted it to use fuel produced from the waste in the production on wine.
Yes isn’t that wonderful!
I will happily help Charles fuel his car by consuming a lot of wine. 😅
So, when he drives it, does it smell like Skid Row on a Sunday morning?
I think Diana suffered from a mental illness but she was also incredibly manipulative. Charles always gets the short end of the stick somehow when Diana's the one that used her boys to manipulate Charles imo. None of them can help the circumstances they grew up in and there is still ZERO excuses for the cruel behavior being exhibited by Harry now. If he's angry, his mother should get some of the blame too imo.
I do think Diana was mentally ill but like Harry's wife, she had a lot of narcissistic and manipulative tendencies. Both boys saw a lot. I feel for them but Harry has been more than a handful in adult life. He and his wife perpetually get away with much too much.
Diana suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) comorbid with Paranoia. Harry inherited it. She must have been HELL to live with.
My father had bipolar disorder and some kind of personality/identity disruption. Cornering a Mercedes at 60 mph would very much have been his style if we'd had that kind of money. So was paying a lot of attention to one of us kids, while ignoring the others, then flip-flopping, and you'd feel like scum when you were the odd one out. And he'd go from sunny to sobbing in half a day's time and start talking about how much better we ungrateful b*stards had it than he did and maybe he should just disappear and unalive himself, and we'd all love it, and then he'd turn a rage on my mom, demand a divorce, then be wailing outside the door at 2 am saying take me back, please, just say I can come back in.
@@weaviejeebiesEvery sympathy for you. I had similar.
I don’t think anyone really knows what they were like , 3 sides to every story hers his and the truth . I do think Diana was bought in to breed once that task was over she had to make a life for herself . Her boys were everything to her and she proved more popular than Charles and this I think was her downfall .
Those comments about Diana's reckless driving are really interesting because they are repeated elsewhere once by a journalist who felt she could easily have caused an accident either to his vehicle or indeed to herself because of aggressive driving. Also, in Spare, Harry makes mention of an incident that made him feel very frightened when as a child traveling with his mum in the car, she had driven very fast to avoid a journalist. The idea that even with her own child on board she was unable to exercise some degree of self-control, I think says much about her nature.
Sorry Shauna, Harry's a grown man and his cruelty is still unacceptable! No one else in the world would get away with what he's gotten away with because he's a prince. It's not fair to make excuses for him when others have been through worse and haven't resorted to such cruelty. If Harry showed remorse, I would have more empathy but he's not so I don't.
Yes I have sympathy for the little boy not really the adult.
Totally agree with you @renekirebornrenekireborn4
This really makes me sad for young Harry. I can see that the staff might have tried to compensate for his obvious neglect and actual emotional abuse.
There is an argument to be made that others who are troubled, don't have the world watching. Harry is wrapped up and invested in his anger. He was just getting to an age where he was finding his voice when Diana died...and then she wasn't there to hear him. He actually believed she was alive and hiding from him. I think the saddest part of all of this is how the wife has allowed Harry to entertain unhealthy feelings that have now taken over.
I do not think it is making excuses exactly, this book reading has made me understand better the troublesome little boy who did not get the care and handling he needed to enable him to grow into a well adjusted man. The power of money and position added to his character has helped to create this horror of a man we see now. I find him loathesome, I cannot abide to even hear his voice. It just shows what two damaged personalities can do when they come together with this heady mix of power and money. Pure evil. Who is going to stop them?
I bet if truth be known Harry has very little memory of his mother..
He says he can’t remember anything. Maybe he blocked it out!
@@thevintagereadSeriously? He was 13 when she died. I remember my own childhood from around the age of 18 months, and some of it was quite traumatic. I think he remembers the feeling of being made to feel second best. We're hearing all about it now.
No doubt warped memories at that, encouraged by his wackadoodle wife.
@@thevintagereadYes he said it was because of trauma. And yet he sets himself up as the leading authority and sole inheritor of her legacy.
Actually it has left him very vulnerable to manipulation.
Too much wacky backy
Diana was using William as a "confidant"!!! That's why she excluded Harry. It's pretty reprehensible as a mother. Neither of the children should have been treated this way. 😖
But she also admitted to giving more time and attention to Harry because William was going to be the king.
@@cookiegirl2cookie197Admitted? You mean claimed possibly.
@StStStS Acording to an article by Nicola Oakly in October 2018, admitted.
@@cookiegirl2cookie197 Thank you. It is a bug-bear of mine 😊 So often journalists say someone admitted something or even revealed it, when the thing is so dubious that the word claim would be much more appropriate.
It seems William was massaged to be more Team Diana than confidante. From other accounts, Harry was a difficult demanding child that his mother gave in to more often than applying consistent discipline and set boundaries. That parenting likely produces a wilful child.
Diana was not the saint everyone likes to believe her to be
Being human is complicated and I think she was more complicated than most and allowed her feelings to dictate her behavior. I dont think she was deliberately cruel, but at times, she was, in fact, cruel to the detirement of KC, her children, and the staff / others
She probably needed support and guidance she was not getting and I suspect that this was in part because people (besides KC) did not want to take her to task due to her privileged position/ bad reaction/ popularity with the public and because she surrounded herself with sycophants who did not want to see this about her / call her out
Im not saying she did not have geniune love and empathy but she was immature, a little spoilt and definitely mentally unstable
Think Harry’s spite is at the wrong parent
Based on the book and other writings the entire country's anger was directed at the wrong person
Just imagine if Diana would have lived and had other men and maybe even other children in her life ,Harry would have turned his hatred on them all because of his dependence on Diana ...Harry is a horrible younger brother ,but I'll bet he would be a worse older brother to step/half siblings ...I think Charles always treated Harry quite well
I think hairybaby has a deep seated anger against his mother.
I’ve always felt sorry for Charles he has been relentlessly bashed for everything that happened in his marriage to Diana and now Harry is doing the same. I don’t feel sorry for Harry he has a nasty streak he’s a grown man and has a family he needs to take responsibility for his self he shouldn’t be bashing his family it’s disgusting. Harry was and is a spoiled little boy always blaming everyone else for his problems.
I don’t like William or Harry. They both look like angry people to me.
Harry has all the s signs of being BI POLAR, as well as damaged, abused child. But, he h as s years of therapy, it appears he only blames Charles, and does not accept that it was his Mother that was the distant, cold, parent. He is an adult, he has to accept his abusive, vindictive, toxic behavior and what it is truly rooted in. He owes his father and the RF. And the People of the Commonwealth a serious, public, apology.
@@crystalbluepersuasion1027yes in
yes agree harry and William
Often look angry
Diana was once incredibly rude and unkind to a young couple standing near me when their baby began crying loudly. We were locked into the building by security and they said couldn't leave until Charles and Diana had left first. She forged ahead of him as she plainly wanted him to ignore the crowd and stop chatting to people. She came and stood in front of us, near the doors with an attendant.The baby began to wail and she turned and snapped at the parents about the noise, embarrassing and upsetting them. The man asked again if security would let them out but they had to wait.I
Diana then ignored the poor young woman's tears and her howling baby, turned her back on us all and just stood waiting. Then she smiled and waved at us as though nothing had happened when Charles reached her and they were leaving.
After that, she could bat her eyelashes and play the sweet people's princess/queen of hearts, or whatever other self proclaimed title she chose for herself when cameras flashed, but I never could see her as sincere.
As per Lady C, the Spencer’s have a huge mean streak. I have become very sympathetic to King Charles through the years. Also Camilla is more suited to Charles nature than Diana was.
I think both women were a bad choice.
Diana got rid of Charles dog!
Charles smiles so broadly these days; he looked miserable in public during the Diana years.
Sorry, but I call bull$hit on Harry. I too, was the left out child. Cruel at times. I turned out to be a wonderful wife and mother. Life is what you make of it. Drown in pitty or show them who's the boss!!
Go you! I love that you won in the end. You also make a great point! 💕🤗
Wow, your are very good at complimenting yourself. That's rare.
browneyedgirl: Bravo!!!! Good on you!!!!
It takes a lot of insight to see dysfunction for what it is and break the cycle. I'm sure I made some mistakes with my son, but I never belittled him or made him feel unloved. That much, I learned.
@@UrbanArtCentral I don't feel it's a compliment. Just had to fight for my life at a young age. The cycle had to be broken and I wanted better for my children.
Jaw drop on Diana's treatment of the staff. Good grief. That's despicable.
I initially like Diana. However, in 1985 I saw her "in the flesh" and got such an incredibly bad vibe from her that my opinion changed. She was outwardly very beautiful but there was something off that I couldn't put my finger on. From that point onwards I could see how manipulative and conniving she was but if I dared to voice that opinion I was almost physically abused. Yes MM is very like Diana and Harry is truly her son.
Absolutely!
Diana was so focused on being a victim and Harry has made a full time career of it and Meghan saw his weakness and decided she could monetize it!!
My mother met Diana 3 times in 1983 and wasn't impressed.
Poor Harry. But his behavior is still unacceptable.
@@Tawadeb Was she rude or cold or something?
This chapter could be titled "Spare" as it sets the table for Harry's anger. Diana could have done well with a course in Child Development and learned how damaging it is to expose your children to so much. My admiration for William and appreciation for Catherine has grown even more.
Perhaps why Cathrine has adopted child development as her platform.
Disclaimer: I've never been a huge Diana fan. That said, is it any wonder Charles sought Camilla's company. From all accounts, she's calm, relatively easygoing, has no theatrics or drama, and just simply gets down to business.
So many other commenters are on target about Meghan's behavior and especially how Harry should looks at his mother's behavior for many of his issues.
Harry wants all the attention. He always did. There’s something very weird with that man he’s extremely abusive very sexually strange, and I feel sorry for William who’s had to pick up after Harry, his whole life.
I agree. Poor Prince William had to take care of Diana and cover for Harry his entire life. My heart breaks for Prince William and what he has been through with those two. I often wonder if Diana had lived longer would the world have seen the real Diana? Seems poor King Charles also took the brunt of Diana's mental issues.
@@browneyedgirl2200 The world would have woken up to Diana just as soon as she lost her looks. She died before that could happen.
😊@@browneyedgirl2200
What doesn't make sense... is that every other report I have heard is that Diana made sure Harry was treated well so he didn't feel like the spare that the press made Harry out to be. Harry was called naughty a lot as a child, a handful... so this author writes about one time William got special treatment because he was nervous about school. This does not cause a lifetime of jealousy. Harry wanted to be King. Yet when William wanted out during his college age, Harry talked him into staying. I think Harry is spoiled. Entitled, lazy and wants the status and money but no responsibility. I agree that Diana was not as amazing as she was portrayed. It's like William got the best qualities from each parent and Harry got the worst of both parents.
his uncle
Diana was not as nice as the media make her.
She was very nice and sweet, but she could also fly off the handle which is typical of someone with emotional distress.
I can't blame Charles for his feelings for Camilla. Diana was mental, in my opinion
She definitely was...
Not mental.. what ever that means..
She was a narcissist, cruel person.. I think she had a borderline personality...
I feel more sorry for King Charles and Prince William.. being caught up in her vicious behavior.
I believe all of this . I initially liked Diana but in a short time I got the vibes of a spoilt attention seeking immature silly girl . Now I realise she was seriously mentally ill . I’m sure it was how she was born and not all to do with her up bringing , she was simply a nasty narcissistic piece of work .
I am so glad you are reading this book out loud, people do not believe there were 2 dianas, the actress and the victim.
Harry recognises his mother in meghan.
Diana led Charles a merry dance, he really was very tolerant.
Is it any wonder ! But Harry is an adult now & has years of therapy , he’s also inherited the Spencer mean streak & vindictiveness .
I had years of therapy, beginning in my teens. Eventually, half a century later, I figured it out on my own. But I'm a whole lot smarter than Harry, and I read a lot of books on psychology. Even a therapist can't help you if you have no idea of the problem.
@@erynlasgalen1949 very true , and mental illness can’t really be treated with therapy alone , correct medications & careful use help tremendously to manage the problem .. and I believe Harry has a massive mental health issue , he’s inherited the mental instability of the Spencer clan. I think the Windsor’s etc are pretty well balanced , just sleazy . Jmo 😄
I see how Harry developed such a toxic jealousy for William. Routinely excluding Harry with bedroom dinner trays is over the top. Diana arbitrarily giving the silent treatment to or screaming at staff and predictable over the top crying and sobbing in front of her kids sounds like a personality disorder. I also know Diana didn’t pull these stunts in public. Ever.
Ok. But that's no excuse for Harry's behavior now as an adult. He had therapy, he should know better by now.
@@MaliKamicak Agreed. Harry is one toxic dude. I don’t think it helps him that he’s dim and all his bad behavior was covered up by his family.
@@MaliKamicak "Attachment disorder is a broad term used to describe a series of emotional and behavioural problems that can develop in young children who struggle to form expected bonds to primary caregivers, usually their parents" (Ref The Priory) .Especially when that primary caregiver is fickle, manipulative, superficial, insensitive to the child's needs and uses the children as 'unpaid therapists. (Ref: Me!)
Yes she was diagnosed with a paranoid histrionic disorder. Charles organised for several psychologists to visit her privately, though she absolutely refused to acknowledge that she needed any help and chose to blame Charles for all her unhinged rections and feelings. She was unbelievably difficult to live with and killed all the feelings Charles had for her. He actually was in love with her when he asked her to get married.
@pamelacox540 He may have also had therapy, but the question is what type of therapy? My guess is they were all yes men and women who rather than make him face reality were telling him what he wanted to hear, him being a victim. They were more afraid of his temper and losing the prestige of having a royal client.
Listening to your review of this chapter, I feel I understand now why this was banned in the UK. Thank you for another great review.
Thanks for listening
Well, the ban should be lifted now. Enough time has elapsed. The truth should always be given an airing. Thank you for giving us the opportunity of hearing some of it in an unbiased fashion.
Looks it is out of print, so only second hand copies available
Diana parentified William that is abuse.
Diana was elevated to Sainthood by the press and the world loved by many however just like Harry, we didn’t see the real person behind the scenes.
Harry should blame his MOTHER DIANA instead of Charles. That is where he has got it all wrong.
For some reason he thinks his mother was a saint.
@@valeriecronin6772 Armchair psychologist, here, so totally UNqualified - but I think a lot of people almost canonize the dead when their relationship was a little distant/troubled at the time they died. Like the guilt evolves into glorifying the person as if they had no human failings. My Mom used to talk about her father that way -- and I only realized well into my adulthood that that was her way of grieving that they weren't that close at all when he died! (She was a young Mom - busy - and their personalities were very different.) Selfish Harry was - what - 13? He probably never spoke w/ her w/out the disdain or indifference of a (boarded) pre-teen when she died. So -- now -- she's perfect -- and Charles/Camilla are awful and flawed humans by contrast. That's what I think. I could be wrong.
Children always canonize the absent parent, whether it's through death or abandonment.
Diana let him get away with atrocious behaviour.
@@SookieCee83 As a retired (previously Regisitered) Psychologist, there is always concern when someone whatever their age, idolises a parent, and figuratively has them on a pedestal. In some scenarios it might be appropriate but usually indicates that the person is trying to compensate for something in their relationship with the person they idolise, that was definitely not appropriate.
Diana would say that Harry was better suited to king than William as Wiliam was so sensitive.The Queen Mother would ask William to come visit her as she enjoyed his company. She did not like to have Harry over because of his behavior problems. Perhaps Diana felt the same, too. According to the Imago Theory, we are attracted to choose a mate that mirrors an unresolved relationship that you grew up in. I found it accurate in my marriage. It is a subconscious desire to replicate the unresolved relationship with a parent with the expectations that it will be right now. Meghan reminded Harry of his mother in more ways than her perfume and clothing. It is in the same way where women who grew up with abusive fathers are attracted to the same kind of men as their fathers. The Imago Theory is interesting to read.
It is obvious that for Harry the unresolved relationship, is Diana. There is a video of Harry and William where she has returned and the boys run to her. WIlliam gets to her first and is wrapped in her arms. Harry reaches and is seen hitting and kicking William until Diana turns from William and hugs Harry instead. In the video, Harry is a toddler, and William is 4-5 years old. Harry's jealousy and anger towards William apparently started with how Diana mothered them.
I agree - I can see how BOTH boys would be damaged by this (seeing their mother so unhappy) - and even believing it was their father's fault (re: the affair while still married to Diana) - but she too played a role in the dysfunctional marriage and family life. Almost ALL of us have some emotional scars from childhood. It does NOT excuse his current behaviour towards his family. Particularly his grand parents (that was disgraceful) the Queen really loved him and he treated her deplorably. He CONTINUES to behave like a spoiled child and his WIFE does not bring out the best in ANYONE - she really is TOXIC in my opinion.
Diana had the first affair. Yes, both boys had to be damaged by her. Very deeply.
Diana had an affair first with Pembroke and said so. After William and before Harry.
Diana would be proud of the man William has become,but would be extremely disappointed in the man that Harry has become!
She did her best to make Harry thus. Diana was no saint.
I disagree. Harry is Diana's perfect son, following her example to the letter. Disloyal. Conniving. Publicity-seeking. All her traits now seen in him.
@@advancedwatcherWell said!!
Can easily see how Harry being excluded built resentment .
His Mum was a Goddess to him so William became the vessel for his distress .
@@SPridham I agree. Her parenting skills was sorely lacking
The more I hear about Diana the more I realize she was an overgrown teenager who was spoiled and entitled. It’s my opinion that a lot of Willam and Harry’s problems are really Diana’s fault. William can’t be blamed, he was still a child (and what child doesn’t love attention from a parent). However, Diana needed to grow up and think about both of her children instead of herself.
I had a sister-in-law much like Diana: beautiful, conniving, histrionic, faithless--the whole shebang. The rest of our family had to pitch in and raise her son, and my brother got custody when he divorced her. That pathetic, vain woman was jealous of any attention her son got.
And this is one of the interesting things about Harry. He has caused a huge part of the world into the reality of his mother’s personality. Charles never did.
Yep. Just Harry did marry his mum, alright!
I think Diana herself was damaged by her own childhood. Despite her saying that she hated the press she certainly played up to them a good deal. You can se the effect on Harry in particular. No one could turn out to be normal after that kind of childhood though I don't excuse him for what he has done in his adulthood.
Thank you for pointing out that 'damage' was caused by the mother! I never liked her...
If only Charles was allowed to marry Camilla in the first place…… 😔
Clearly he loved her, and Diana could not have failed to pick up on it, which amplified her hysterical behavior. In her heart it was yet another abandonment. People with psychological problems never asked to be that way.
He was. It was Camilla who chose to marry Andrew Parker Bowles.
Leila it could not have been done .The World is now more tolerant but there are still some very nasty people who make judgements based on inadequate research and prejudice. I have suffered because I have consistently defended King Charles and it is not a comfortable place to be .
@@TK-xh1xcAndrew Parker Bowles and Camilla had a long relationship before they married. He was a well known lothario and he started a " romance " with Princess Anne. Camilla was upset and decided to cultivate the Prince of Wales to make Andrew jealous but Charles aged 18 or 19 did the unthinkable and fell in love with her. Camilla had no expectation of marriage to Charles and I think was persuaded by her family to marry Andrew.
@@erynlasgalen1949.... some people are "ok not being ok"
No wonder Harry thinks Meghan’s behavior towards staff is acceptable, he saw his mother treat her staff in the same way.
Exactly! It seems he learned several behaviors from his mother.
No wonder he has no problem with her behavior over all!
Absolutely
Agree, it help explained behind the scenes of the bullying allegations
It makes sense now.
I lived near Tetbury, the market town closest to Highgrove ,and can assure you the likelihood of finding a styling brush there was slim to none! Evelyn must have had to drive to Swindon, quite a distance away and famous for its treacherous round about, to find the brush.
Showing your feelings in front of children can be damaging. I agree with you on everything.
It can have a devastating effect!
I'll simultaneously agree and disagree with you on this point. Showing your unbalanced und unrife feelings and emotional bursts in front of your children, weaponizing them or using them as therapists is what is harmful to children. Normal and balanced displays of emotions are perfectly fine.
It's about time that Diana was exposed for being manipulative ,don't blame Charles ,there are 2 sides to every story ,but Charles has always been blamed when the world has never come to terms with the fact that Diana was not the perfect person
I don't think Diana wanted to control her emotions. When she is unhappy, everyone else has to be punished and fuss about her.
This is why Harry is so jealous of William. Doesn’t excuse his behaviour but it sure does explain a few things!
I love this book as it gives a different parenting of King Charles As it is still out there that Diane was the parent who was the most caring but it looks like she was slyly pushing Charles to the fringe and imprinting her as the caring parent. So unfair
I have seen videos of the two of them with William when he was very little. She was not very engaged, and seemed distant and perhaps bored. Charles was much more engaged.
The game Diana was playing is called parental alienation.
If the real truth about Diana came out, the UK and the world will have to give Charles an apology.
Absolutely, he covered for dianas infidelity and took it on the chin over camilla, he was intent on shielding the boys from their mothers behaviour.
I feel sorry for Charles, now that he finally found his feet he's now got another mountain to climb.
Exactly, Harry got her pettiness and immaturity.
Except at my age a contemporary of Diana always knew she was adulterous and a silly conniving woman and have been extremely frustrated over the years as she has become more and more sanctified. I am not denying she did good by her work with landmones and Aids patients, but equally we all knew her as duplitous, hence I have always had a lot of time for Charles who also does a lot of charity work and promoting good causes including environmental and antiracism via his business trusts.
@@dianeshelton9592I think like you do , I’ve been roasted many a time of voicing my opinions on her , saint Dianas image must not be questioned
The truth was out there even before the Andrew Morton book. St Diana and her cohorts at the press did unbelievable damage to the lives of others
Where was Harry living during this time if he was still at Day school. I wonder if Harry spent a lot of time with Diana and her trays and William was prioritised during school breaks ?? Harry must have got a lot of attention during the time William was away I would think. Thank you, I love this book.
Yes you make a great point!
Sue Stewart makes a very valid point here. However, turn the perspective around to Harry. He is used to having his mother's attention, but when William comes home, suddenly he is no longer his mother's sole focus. I can see how this would affect Harry, and make him jealous and resentful towards his elder brother. He blames William for this when it wasn't, and isn't William's fault at all. I think it is very possible that Charles saw the storm in a teacup brewing, and endeavoured to balance it out, growing closer to Harry during his childhood than he was with William. In no way am I saying that either boy was loved more or less by either parent. Imagine feeling growing resentment towards your brother and constantly being reminded that your nemesis (in Harry's view) will be the one promoted to monarch, and there's nothing he can do to alter that. Surely this had a significant impact on his self-esteem.
Charles often gets a very raw deal regarding his parenting, but I simply see a man trying to do the best he can for his sons within the confines of an ill-suited marriage.
I think the nanny was more his anchor than Diana was. Partly why Diana was insanely jealous of her
i always thought that one of the meanest things diana did was getting rid of barbara barnes without even allowing her to say good to the children who had been close to her for about six years. appalling thing to do. william invited her to his wedding@@annatjienilsen539
He was at Eton, likebWilliam.
Thank you Shauna for a great episode! I guess H doesn't remember being treated this way since she still walks on water according to him. ❣️❣️❣️
Yes he has the media version of his Mother I think!
I am not at all surprised by any of this. The big clue was given years ago when it was reported that Diana used to cry on William’s shoulder and burden him with her divorce or break-up woes. That spoke volumes about a toxic relationship. Add to that, Harry’s lifelong behavior of showing off to keep the attention on him. That started young, and persists. When you see him in a group or crowd with Meghan, he is always shouting across the room, or leaning in front of someone to speak across them to someone else. Now, we just have to wait for Lili’s and Archie’s memoirs.
Let's hope they DON'T learn from their parents, and somehow grow up to be normal, educated, independent people.
I never thought Diana is such a naive woman or a push over.Harry is just like his mum a bit nasty and know how to play games .
I believe Diana had Borderline personality disorder due to her mother leaving her and her father’s behaviour
Yes my thoughts exactly
Except, Diana’s mother did not leave her. She was denied custody of her kids (that she wanted!) because her own mother testified against her in court during the divorce proceedings that her husband (Diana’s father) had not been abusive towards her. Apparently, Diana’s mother was devastated and cried every time she had to say goodbye to her children.
Lady C’s book The real Diana describes this in great detail.
@@MsMusicalways the circumstances are irrelevant, it’s the child’s perspective that creates the trauma
@@LemonwaterLally yes, I suppose that makes sense. I mean, even today BPD is incredibly difficult to live with and we know much more about it than 40 years ago. If Diana did have it, it would have been practically impossible to manage back then, I’m sure. I can’t condone her behaviour in the chapter, but if the reason was a severe mental ilness / condition, I feel for her.
@@MsMusicalways I feel for her too, my daughter has bpd and it’s a terrible thing to cope with for her and the family…..the children of someone with bpd suffer tremendously as well, I feel for everyone concerned
I was on a used booksellers site the other day. They were out of “housekeepers diary” and had 25 people waiting for it! I’m sure it’s risen from obscurity due to your show 😊
I bought my copy last week ebay (UK) for £6.99. The display picture of the book's cover was in Russian. I checked the description and it said language - English so I bought it. When it arrived the cover was in English, so I'm glad I checked, having waited months for a reasonably price copy.
I never liked Diana, always acting coy and vulnerable whilst being spoiled , entitled and ruthless, but now I understand where Harry got it from, when he so famously said: What Meghan wants, Meghan gets !
Meghan also seems to copy Diana's melodramatics- boy oh boy, what a class act.
Hi Shawna, I noticed you called Diana a narcissist earlier in the video while you were reading about some of her characteristics. I am a retired psychotherapist. I hold a triple master's in marriage and family therapy. Clinical psychology and counseling psychology. In my opinion, Diana displayed behaviors of borderline personality disorder. Diana’s background of the trauma of abandonment by her mother and the emotional unavailability set the stage perfectly for the psychosis. An easy way to understand borderline personality disorder is that the person will say, I love you, I hate you don’t leave me, which is exactly what Diana played out throughout her marriage with Charles. Especially self-harming behaviors are a characteristic of both lines along with splitting behaviors. An example of that would be one minute. They will also triangulate relationships. Borderline personality disorders are famous for The Adore You. You are their best friend and then you do something that they don’t like and that’s it. How she treated her dresser with the screaming and so forth that’s typical behavior of a borderline. You are the best thing on the face of the planet and then they drop you and won’t give you the time of day. Once you’re out you’re out for good with a borderline personality disorder Individuals are very difficult people to love. if you have any questions or would like more information about psychology, psychopathology, behaviors, etc. just let me know I’ll be glad to answer them. You are welcome to message me on Twitter and I’ll be happy to share my knowledge and answer any questions you may have.
I had a mother like that. She had lost her own mother at the age of four and then was shuttled between relatives thereafter. After fifty years of reflection I finally realized that she had unreasonable expectations of both marriage and her relationship with her children, as if she expected us to fill the hole her lost mother had left. No small child can be expected to do that. My late mother's traits fit both narcissistic and borderline, and I have managed to forgive her at least intellectually because no one asks to be that way.
Thanks for the insights! Most illuminating. Much I had 'felt' - gut feel, rather than education and learning. But good to know my senses were on the right track.
Never did see in Diana what others saw.
It sounds like Meghan’s behavior also. Lots of people left in the dust. 😊
She was diagnosed with bordetline. Your call is right on.
I note what you say, but in fairness to someone for whom I had a great admiration, Diana’s mother, Frances. She did not abandon her children at all, she left a severely abusive husband because he beat her in front of the children , the Earl secured sole custody of the children because his mother in law M who KNEW the situation, supported the Earl, then he used every means possible to block Frances’s access to her children. Furthermore he had very little to do with his children , he had been married to his second wife for some time before he told the children. Those are facts,
Do you think. In Harry’s mind his mother is the wonderful person who loved him was always there for him. He has built maybe a fairytale princess perfect in all things.
Possibly. I wonder if there is buried anger there too. W got 2 more years with her than he did. He may have seen Diana’s over sharing with William as her preferring him. He might have some blame towards her for not wearing a seatbelt, allowing the driver to speed, etc, etc. And he didn’t take her last phone call.
I think he’s hiding his real sources of anger from himself and channeling it externally towards the living.
I personally know how mean she could be. A good friend of hers and mine was suddenly dropped after years of friendship. NOT me my friend, for no reason at all.
That’s hard x
That is so hard. I really feel for your friend.
That is one of the more cruel and cowardly things one person can do to another.
I feel so bad for Charles , i’ve read the book by lady Colin Campbell, the real Diana, and that really reveals Diana‘s mental illness. I do believe in the beginning of the marriage she was seen by a psychiatrist and they did diagnose her and I think in the way, Harry has inherited that part of Diana and thank goodness, William has Catherine and the Midleton’s. I know the queen spent a lot of time with William also him being the future heir
I got the impression Diana was exhausted by Harry, he obviously suffered from some sort of attention deficit. He was uncontrollable. I think this is why by the end of the day she would have had enough of Harry. Most of Harry’s problems were caused by his mother, she refused to discipline him or allow others to discipline him!
The real reason the investigation into Harry’s wife’s bullying was kept secret I suspect is because it would have come out that several members of the royal family bullied staff. I think Harry’s wife’s bullying the worst, LCC said the staff claimed she took sadistic delight in bullying the staff!
Certainly Andrew was shown to be horrid to staff as Harry was even before Meghan arrived.
I had a mother who shared her every emotion with us and would often imply it was our fault she was upset. It was very damaging to all 3 of us. It causes me to have a disdain for Diana.
I’ve made a comment on the previous comment about my experience of this.
When I relayed this story of supper in bed without H whilst watching TV to my mother, her response was "Diana would never have done that". 🤷♀
I'm beginning to see why this book was banned in the UK. It really does show Dianas mental illness in all its infamy.
Its also increasingly more obvious why H was bamboozled by M's portrayal of Diana. I always though Hs pain of his mothers death was because of his losing her - now I see its probably more a case of losing what he didnt get from her.
It is frequently said that Diana would love Catherine and despise Meghan. I am not sure her insecurities would have allowed her to be too close to either one of her daughters in law. She was so desperate for her sons’ adoration that she might have looked upon them as competition. I don’t think her EQ was very high. She could be amazingly loving and compassionate to those connected with her charities, but not so much to those in her immediate circle.
I’m pretty sure she would have viewed both as competitors for attention and would have been the nightmare mother in law.
@@ynys_mon6928She said herself she was thick think she would have seen through Meghan and been jealous of Catherine but would have covered it up well
She would have caused extreme problems in their marriages.
She wouldn't have got on with Catherine, because she's bright, sensible, caring, which Diana wasn't. Jane Spencer, the sensible sister, was the sibling Diana got on with the least, and it would have been the same with Catherine.
Diana would have disliked Catherine intensely. Firstly, she would have seen her as competition for control of William. Secondly, Catherine is not manipulative or a game player. She is honest and sincere. Diana would have seen Catherine as straight laced and stuffy, and not her sort of person. Quite likely Diana might have liked MM more, because she'd have seen that MM and Harry might have been of use in her manipulations of the media, and her spinning of tales.
It doesn't matter weather its Royalty or the person on the street who are in a unhappy marriage you don't use your children as pawns to hurt the other parent, and you dont have a favourite child, when a parent singles out a child ( usually the older one ) in a unhappy marriage its because the parent wants company, they want someone to talk to, they want someone to love and a they will end up telling that child there problems and slagging off the other parent, they tell a child things no child should hear or be part off, because they are asking that child to take sides.
In my opinion Prince Charles was the better parent as he treated the children equally and spent time with them together
Im sorry but you do make excuses for Diana she shouts at staff, sulks, treats her children badly, and doesn't seem to have much empathy its one rule for her but another for Charles.
We all knew she wasn't a saint but im seeing signs of narcissistic behaviour in Diana behind closed doors and a facade infront of the public 🤔
I try to balance it a little but I know people will be able to form their own view from what I am sharing from the book. I’m not making excuses just discussing other possible perspectives. I think it was obvious I didn’t approve of her parenting! It isn’t about what I think though I’m just reviewing and tossing ideas around. Everyone can form their own view. Thanks for sharing yours x
I get the feeling Shauna takes heat from the Diana apologists in the comment section so she tries to be fair to everyone, but at least from the perspective of Wendy Barry, it’s pretty obvious Diana was a nightmare. But if she were to read from other books, like Paul Burrell’s for example, it would be an exceedingly pro-Diana book. People are complicated and messy. Diana obviously had good qualities, and if she liked a staff member, they were probably dazzled by her, but other staff who either were frozen out by her or were just more observant and neutral in the War of the Wales, probably couldn’t look past Diana’s appalling behaviour at times.
Yes, and that facade tells us that she knew what she was doing, and knew that it was wrong.
We never got to see this side of Diana. I wish it was open like it is now. We are so much better having Catherine, she’s a lovely person
That picture of Diana in India looked very staged.
Yes, I remember thinking at the time that it it was such a snarky bit of posing
She always looked staged, with that creepy glare of hers. In this case, even the loud colors she wore were calculated to remind people of heart's blood and purple passion.
I've had the impression for years that William had to parent Diana basically his whole upbringing.
Yes
Dianna admit in her book,that she used go into the toilet t to sob,then ask William who was just outside to pass her tissue under the door,and he would say I'll take care of you mummy. So to my way of thinking, William had a far worse childhood than Harry. No very young child should be expected to take care of his mums mental problems
I had to do the same for my mother, who had NPD, from when I was seven years old, all the time being told by her that there was something seriously wrong with me. Once I learned about narcissism, ( after she had died ) I understood that this was projection. It’s incredibly damaging to a child and the psychological abuse leaves lifelong scars, but I have made a success of my life despite this. I’m so glad that William married into and was embraced by Catherine’s loving family.
I see what you mean about William getting one-on-one time with his mother and dinnertrays while Harry is being shoved of to the nursery. BUT, when William is at boardingschool Harry has his mother all to himself - which is a lot. And William isn't at home so often under the schoolyear, so I guess his mother wanted to make the most of these rare weekends I guess. But otherwise, the sobbing infront of her boys and all that 'toxic' behaviour towards her staff and manipulating the boys and the press ... ... ... I just want to shout at her to get a grip on herself ... or so.
Absolutely agree!
Great chapter Shauna. I always look forward to this one. The book is a treasure trove of information. This just highlights how damaging “narratives” are in the press. Charles was always shown as a villain & Diana the victim?
But she was very much a perpetrator?
I liked her. I was a kid back then. But now as an adult, can’t help but be confronted with confirmation of how manipulative she was? Which I had figured out some time ago.
Yes her exclusion of Harry is mean spirited. But he’s too far gone now for me to feel bad for him
I guess we can acknowledge the child but expect more from the man!
@@thevintageread Agree. I always did feel bad for both William & Harry.
Watching them back when Diana died walking with their heads bowed behind her coffin? One of the saddest things I’d seen & my heart broke for them. That’s why I always rooted for them both. But Harry has been such a disappointment words fail me.
Shauna, having you read and comment on Wendy Barry's book is my absolute favorite YT thing these days and I wish the book had no end - if only!
You're a joy.💐💚
You are so compassionate, Shauna. For some people who are hurt and damaged like H was never do recover. It depends on their personality type and I think that he had a very dependent personality. That constant type of rejection is never going to be made up for but the frequent cuddling and hanging on to his mother the way he did. Then the death of Diana at his very important developmental stage would have been an indelible scar on his personality. I can feel sorry for H and the trauma he suffered without excusing his behaviour now as an adult.
Just checked this series out for the first time and my god Diana sounds like a monster. Her PR game was crazy good!
I think she _was_ a monster. Bad blood.
I have always felt bad for Charles. He married a woman who was mentally ill & refused treatment. Now he has a son who displays the same mental illness.
Why "mental illness" rather than lack of character?
@@dsoule4902Because the behaviour is extreme and is irrational.
Diana really used the boys as chips in her poker-game approach to marriage. It's not so surprising Harry is such a mess. What is surprising is how well-balanced William is.
Honestly, I was never a big fan of Diana. As I have gotten older, I have tried to be fairer. Listening to this book though, has convinced me I was right all along. She actually reminds me of Harry, I think they apple definitely hasn't fallen far from the tree. She really was very self centered, thoughtless and self absorbed. For all her grievances, she never seemed to give a thought for anyone else. I also think he is a chip off the block when it comes to his feelings about the Royal Family: The two of them loved all the perks, the attention etc etc etc when it fit their moods, when it didn't... well we get tell all's and vitriol.